Realtionship deal breakers

Deal breakers are: infidelity and thongs. Which sounds like C21 comedy of manners.

Anyway - relationship deal breaker is cheating, and being with me when you don't really want me anymore. Don't want either of those since they destroy me. Most other things fine.

lol only straight white guys can like rap without being "borderline racist" a+ you guys keep it up

raspy voice, talks like juno, quasi-racist love of hood shit

-- and what, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 3:49 PM

every gay guy i know who likes rap is like this

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:22 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

don't you kick people like this out of hotels?

I had so many, but they all seem to have gone now. It's so easy to have ideals when you're not in a relationship.

-- Kate the Saint, Monday, 23 July 2001 00:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

Oh, you idiot. You should have cut and run at every dealbreaker. They were there for a reason.

What is with these thread revivals today. :-(

I approve of this banned-from-the-NB revive.

most straight white guys who like rap are borderline racist too

most straight white guys who like rap are borderline racist too

-- deej, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 11:35 AM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

if you're 'one of the good ones' feel free to bitch about that date you had with jamie kennedy

i hate rap so no racist me

no homo too

'Realtionship' is when the other person is not imaginary

bell labs is banned from the nb??

Is there some kind of rolling scorecard place where we can see who is banned from the NB?

you mean like an admin log? no

No, I mean like a point and laugh circus game type thing.

the NB point and laugh circus games usually involve you.

The difference is, they clearly carry on reading me, but I never read them. I win!

bell labs otm. please tell me more about how i should be listening to rap, dudes!

less racist-ly, obviously

once a dude i knew accused me of being sexist while listening to a song we BOTH LIKED..."the what." i guess it's only sexist when women listen to it.

for a grad student youre not very smart, hs

the what is a pretty great song tho

FUCK THE WORLD DONT ASK ME FOR SHIT

BITCHES I LIKE 'EM BRAINLESS

Take my girlfriend who listens to rap. PLEASE!!

http://www.clipartlab.com/promo/guns.gif i like em http://www.theruststore.com/images/articles/stainless_no-rust.jpg

Having to like, take showers and not pick my nose and eat it and stuff.

Ball and chain, brothers. Ball and chain!

The difference is, they clearly carry on reading me, but I never read them. I win!

-- Masonic Boom, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 1:02 PM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.bsflag.com/Components/Bullshit_Flag_Product.jpg

let's keep bringing this fucking petty nonsense over on the main boards because it's a WINNER EVERY TIME.

want the muthafuckin fortune like the wheel

not having a distinct posting style

i am still waiting for hoos to explain himself!

bell labs otm. please tell me more about how i should be listening to rap, dudes!

-- horseshoe, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 1:26 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

some kinds of music i feel comfortable dismissing guys for being really into - if some dude is hardcore into ani difranco i can usually figure out hes a marc loi without actually talking to dude. i dated two (2) non-racist/headwrap girls who loved hip-hop but that was the exception for real. dont fuck with my chris rock style relationship observations, this is actual fact.

and yeah most dudes who are real into rap are pretty corny too

and yeah most white dudes who are real into rap are pretty corny too

let's save some time by trying to figure out what elusive demographic isn't mostly corny

girls are, white dudes are, who else

grandmothers.

heres about how i break it down

1) oh maann pop lock and drop it is like the most ghetto shit EVERRR!
2) sarah jones is a prophet speaking truth in this white male patriarchal society!
3) (wifey material)

theres also most other girls who are cool with rap but listen to r&b or rock music more, im not counting them

afrikaners

http://home.82times.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/corncat.jpg

corny rows

i keep typing things and deleting them; i think i am being too serious.

my friend's wife's favorite rapper is MF Doom

i am glad i've gotten over the idea of choosing a spouse based on musical taste

if i was choosing a "spouse" based on musical taste id be going for the headwrap chicks.... im saying just cuz a girls rocking illmatic isnt reason to wife her

I don't know, labs, some people's music I just cannot live with. I'd like to have similar enough tastes to at least enjoy things together and doing musical things (shows, nights). I've been down this road otherwise, and it sucked.

it's kinda like a mirror

guys, i don't care what a chick listens to, i just don't want her to hate the music i listen to/perform, k?

i dont know wtf the big deal is with this... dont yall think twice about dudes who are all nerded on like riot grrl shit or pink or something

all nerded

That's kind of whta I'm taking about, Jordan.

and yeah my whole point has been i dont care what a chick listens to this is why i was dumm for ever poppin bonerz over broads who dug jeru tha damaja

Liar, flake, or has no friends they went to junior high/high school/college with.

eh. it's a pet peeve about boys + music + how music they like is ruined for them when girls like it or something? if people want to date people with similar music tastes that's fine and not really any of my business.

jesus xposts

i think you're being reasonable now ethan, i just wanted someone to admit white straight guys into rap were as corny if not cornier than girls and fags

i dont think rap is ruined when girls like it, im just more suspicious of b-girls than when i was a 17 yr old backpacker looking to meet wifey at fat beats

yeah i'm not really talking about you anymore, i don't think.

what do you think when youre considering a dude and then you learn hes into like natalie merchant and shit

has no friends they went to junior high/high school/college with

how is this a bad thing???

and i think the only musical dealbreaker i have is like joanna newsome/star-eyed indie pedarast music

Ethan, do you like girls?

Seeing as how I am no longer friends with anyone from college, I don't have any friends who are into "riot grrl shit" or Nathalie Merchant.

Male OR female.

Also every ex is "psycho." Some should be psycho, yes ok, just not every single one.

has no friends they went to junior high/high school/college with.

I didn't see the "college" part at first and was like, WTF? I went to a really shitty, small town high school and am very glad I don't associate with any of them anymore. I don't think knowing when to let go of the past is a bad thing.

i get annoyed with boys who are dismissive of music i like, but i think i honestly wouldn't care that much if a dude liked natalie merchant? i think i try to avoid talking with dudes about music in general. :-/

i am glad i've gotten over the idea of choosing a spouse based on musical taste

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 2:58 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this was a life changing moment for me.

lols at "star-eyed indie pedarast music"

i mean it's just kind of a big red flag.

offending star-eyed indie pederasts is a lotta fun, which is why I love going to things like green man, but i don't go there for the wife material, it is true.

i started dating my girl cause i liked her itunes library, weve lasted four years on and off

Seeing as how I am no longer friends with anyone from college, I don't have any friends who are into "riot grrl shit" or Nathalie Merchant.

laurel is correct, the big giant ani and tori (et al) fans of the "yer-so-cute-when-yer-crazy" variety have turned 30-ish. They're either not much into music anymore -- because music is not what they were EVER into and this fact becomes very hard to escape once you leave college and realize you don't give a shit anymore -- or they have collected plenty of other records. Either way, nobody involved really cares.

LAY OFF NATALIE MERCHANT

deal-breaker: when people compliment me on my vinyl collection. i haven't added to it for about three years, and hate most of it now.

na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na
na na na na na

i even have a radio show with my girlfriend

all we play is natalie merchant and biggie

lol

wait max you play sting, right? and then you make out during the panflute solo that sting does?

all we play is natalie merchant and biggie gay ass songs from the lion king

-- max, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:22 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

not talking about anyone here really but i find it hard to believe that the kind of person who looks at musical prefs first would ever have that great a choice that he'd have to reject all sorts of potential suitors

nothin gay about can u feel the love tonight

just furry

Yeah Jordan maybe the last two are more like yellow flag cautions. Black flag on the first two though.

i dont care what kind of music chicks like but i find that chicks that like slayer are usually hotter and better in bed than girls that like belle and sebastian or whatever.

^^^^ this is what i was saying

that's fair.

but felicity, what's the rationale? i think i'm a little suspicious of someone whose only friends are from back in the day and hasn't made many connections as an adult.

not talking about anyone here really but i find it hard to believe that the kind of person who looks at musical prefs first would ever have that great a choice that he'd have to reject all sorts of potential suitors

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

true-ish, but what that usually means is that these people are screening their entire social circle, friends included, based on music/pop culture taste, and dating is just an extension of that, not politely ditching someone after getting a look at their record collection (or lack thereof). i'm assuming, anyway.

personally, i don't think musical taste is a big compatability issue -- my girl listens to maybe 10% as much music, and only half of it is stuff I like too, but that's plenty to be able to agree on a radio station in the car or go to shows together now and again or make her mix CDs of stuff she'd like.

the one time i dated a guy that like the pet shop boys as much as i did it was really not awesome..

not talking about anyone here really but i find it hard to believe that the kind of person who looks at musical prefs first would ever have that great a choice that he'd have to reject all sorts of potential suitors

sure, I have never turned down dates/make outs/much hard ones ever solely on the basis of what music the young lady enjoyed. Anything you can associate with certain artists are -- is this too obvious to even say? -- not at all about the artists. AND YET there are red flags! An iPod filled with 80 gigs of weepy singer-songwriters who all died tragically, usually by their own hand... some musical tastes may actually require medication, is what I'm saying.

"Cat Power again? How do you stay awake all day?"

personally, i don't think musical taste is a big compatability issue -- my girl listens to maybe 10% as much music, and only half of it is stuff I like too, but that's plenty to be able to agree on a radio station in the car or go to shows together now and again or make her mix CDs of stuff she'd like.

Truth.

people who constantly bitch about music that other people like

not sleeping around ilx much, i take it

i think maybe it's harder when the other person is also really passionate about music, but about completely different things?

xp

Jordan, I have honestly never run into that problem. Music geeks are music geeks, they're the same wherever you go. If you're really dating someone who listens to as much music as you do, there are going to be less fights over the stereo, not more.

That doesn't make sense, Kenan.

i am still waiting for hoos to explain himself!

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 7:32 PM

Why exactly do I need to explain myself? I know 5 gay guys. 3 of them like rap, and all three of them are relatively monied guys who consciously fetishize the "hood" aspects of hip-hop for the sake of irony. On various occassions they've told me that they're only interested in rap about thug shit because it's "so hard and real," using various appeals to authenticity. They only want to hear the "authentic" stuff that goes on about the subjects they're interested in, namely poor black men selling drugs and shooting each other. The poetic qualities or lack thereof are irrelevant. They're decidedly disinterested in rap that lacks these qualities of violence.

Am I (or the snap bros) completely exempt from everything above? Absolutely not. Just tossing out a funny (I thought) antecdotal correlation with what EP said about white girls that like rap.

An iPod filled with 80 gigs of weepy singer-songwriters who all died tragically, usually by their own hand... some musical tastes may actually require medication, is what I'm saying.

-- kenan, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:36 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this is what im talkin bout

From now on if I'm unsure of the future of a relationship I will show them that cream of wheat bj clip and base my decision on their reaction to it.

3 OUT OF 5 GAY GUYS AGREE

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/b/b2/Move_goalposts_300.jpg/260px-Move_goalposts_300.jpg

xxp

The guy I quoted above (part of thread deleted by TOMBOT I guess?), a former coworker, threw up imitation gang signs and mean-mugged when he talked about how "only wanted to hear rap about (gang sign) SHOOTIN PEOPLE and (mean mug) SELLIN CRACK"

And then laughed maniacally

on the one hand, one of the first things that attracted me to my wife was that she liked a band I really liked and that nobody else cared about, and we've been together since 1995

on the other hand, just instinctively, I think you have to be really, really stupid to be the sort of dumbass who's like "if you don't like this music that's really important to me, we must be somehow incompatible!" plz to turn 17 & outgrow that kind of ridiculous Disney-based thought pattern

xpost Hoos I'm glad you explained the huge sample from which you drew your mildly offensive generalization!

Guys am I aka the rasmussenpollster now or what

"on the one hand, one of the first things that attracted me to my wife was that she liked a band I really liked and that nobody else cared about, and we've been together since 1995"

mountain goats?

I said "every gay guy I know that likes rap," do you guys happen to know hundreds of them?

The only time I could see a girl's musical taste being a problem is if she hates - like, really HATES - my music or bands that I'm in. And that's mostly just for logistical purposes; those nights of the week I'm playing gigs that she doesn't want to be at, wtf do we do then?

xp hahahahahah ethan

explanation was ok with me hoos

lol ethan no you know I fucking hate the Mountain Goats

I KNOW 5 BLACK GUY AND 3 OF THEM ARE REALLY INTO COMIC BOOKS

smug ass mountain goats - so sure-footed and agile. The assholes of the Rockies.

i mean i bet there are people in this thread making generalizations with a sample size less than hoos' 5 gay dudes

big HOOS something tells me that guy would be doing dumb racist shit like throwing gang signs at the office whether or not you guys were bonding over your shared love of rap music

http://theband.hiof.no/band_pictures/georgia_peach.jpg

i mean i bet there are people in this thread making generalizations with a sample size less than hoos' 5 gay dudes

hey that better not be a shot at me ive slept with plenty of slayer fans and b&s fans

big HOOS something tells me that guy would be doing dumb racist shit like throwing gang signs at the office whether or not you guys were bonding over your shared love of rap music

also whether or not he was gay

chaki /= the sun

haha these threads have always seemed like places for ppl to brag about how much play they get

I KNOW 5 BLACK GUY AND 3 OF THEM ARE REALLY INTO COMIC BOOKS

-- chaki, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 8:49 PM

you see how chaki is making racist generalizations about all black people and their relationship to comic books guys how terrible of him

lots of gay men like gay music, but even when they don't, they like music in a gay way. not that there's anything wrong with that, i'm just sayin, i've seen it a lot.

haha these threads have always seemed like places for ppl to brag about how much play they get

if you are a moron and take everyone seriously.

chaki /= the sun

-- J0rdan S., Wednesday, March 26, 2008 8:51 PM

this is awesome whatever the fuck it means

If the person has no old school-type friends and not on at least civil terms with some of their exes, good chance they are not going to like me, either.

Also these music ones are stupid. Too samey is boring. Have your own interests.

chaki: zero to butthurt in one misread post

hey that better not be a shot at me ive slept with plenty of slayer fans and b&s fans

now i *really* regret missing chaki's show

but being too palsy with exes can be a bad sign as well....

unlike ethan i never grew out of my "i can't be with you unless you like jeru the damaja" phase

yeah its at least as fun to argue with/tease girls about their musical taste as it is to bond over it

From now on if I'm unsure of the future of a relationship I will show them that cream of wheat bj clip and base my decision on their reaction to it.

-- nickalicious, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 8:45 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this is probably the most otm thing said on this thread

part of thread deleted by TOMBOT I guess?

what

i cant date chicks that dont like green peppers

The only time I could see a girl's musical taste being a problem is if she hates - like, really HATES - my music or bands that I'm in. And that's mostly just for logistical purposes; those nights of the week I'm playing gigs that she doesn't want to be at, wtf do we do then?

^^^this. and i say this from experience.

Ay bell labs/J0hn did I clear that up satisfactorily for you? I srsly do wanna have this convo

cream of wheat bj clip

ysi?

being too palsy with exes

I didn't read this as being "pals" at first.

I've reached the end of my fucking tether, and I'm about to try your idea about relationship deal breakers, Anthony. My relationship deal breakers aren't even about cheating or anything like that, it's about self destructiveness.

-- Kate the Saint, Thursday, July 26, 2001 12:00 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

------------------

lol only straight white guys can like rap without being "borderline racist" a+ you guys keep it up

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:27 PM

??

oh wait other thread was on nb nvm sry dude

Ay bell labs/J0hn did I clear that up satisfactorily for you? I srsly do wanna have this convo

PLEASE TELL HIM HE CLEARED THIS UP

lol was gonna say i know nobody else wangs to have this convo

loool

loooooooooool

hoos, you're fine, it sounds like you need to meet some more quality gays though.

Honestly as long as a girl doesn't sound like a horse when she laughs and doesn't take fucking forever to get ready to go somewhere I am probably in it to win it.

i wang to, always

because of the wangs

ILX, a Place for Gays of Quality

oh dammit

silent tears in the computer lab

bell labs is a fag hag surpreme. judge of the most quality of gays.xxxxpost

people starin at me cause i'm doin the snidley whiplash's Dog laugh

but being too palsy with exes can be a bad sign as well....

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 1:54 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Oh yeah, major cockblock. Civil, not pals-y.

And I don't want to hear about them unless there is a good reason, like getting us swag or something.

well apart from cosmopolitan iconoclasts like all assembled, music taste goes along w/ all kinds of other social cues, so chances are i won't have to worry about getting along with minnesota's hugest sevendust fan or whatever. i do have to learn to put up with the schmindie, which isn't too hard cos i like a lot of it too. dmb is right out tho. fuck that.

let's have this convo, wangs

but being too palsy with exes can be a bad sign as well....

yes

hey quality gays, let's wang this convo

so ready to HAVE this fuckin convo

I didn't even realize HOOS was gay!

"I don't read a lot" = do not pass go

what xp

we didnt know you were gay, dude

oh word, hoos?

now that you're out on ilx you should post on the gay thread.

this explains so much

no worries hoos, im straight but not narrow

All I'm saying is that Mike Patton will not get you laid, with me, and when I've been trying to wake you up for two hours on a Sunday morning because I'm starving, it is not okay to put on Mr Bungle for a marathon cuddle sesh while you lazey-laze around. All right, Jersey City?

whoa i coulda sworn hoos said he had a gf?? anyway im cool w/ it dude

we already knew you were quality!

Also all "pop" music is not for girls, fuck you.

thx for your support ilx

don't know what i'd do w/o u

Also all "pop" music is not for girls, fuck you.

wasn't this ilm's founding principle?

yes

Hoos ths gay lol :p :p

i think its gay that people are saying hoos gonna be the next wallisch. its not about hoos going to be the next wallisch.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/5/55/200px-Virginia-Cavalier-mascot.jpg

All I'm saying is that Mike Patton will not get you laid, with me, and when I've been trying to wake you up for two hours on a Sunday morning because I'm starving, it is not okay to put on Mr Bungle for a marathon cuddle sesh while you lazey-laze around. All right, Jersey City?

-- Laurel, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 9:10 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ok. some things are just NOT cuddle music.

Breakfast is relevant to my interests.

btw guys as a newly outed gay guy who likes rap can i say that we do not all fetishize the hood aspects

that guy just sounds like a lunk

xpost

seriously...I love Bungle but it ain't cuddle music for shit.

The only girl I ever dated who actively liked Mr Bungle was really sexually repressed and awkward and also eventually moved away with like 3 dozen of my CDs.

He also liked the RTrux and Hum and JSBEx and other things that were okay. But we couldn't get past the metal fixation and his contempt for all things "poppy".

http://www.misleader.org/images/moveon_logo.gif

patton girls are usually pretty ugh.

oh! another good reason for not dating someone too into the music you like. They STEAL THAT SHIT

i really dont like cuddling to music. unless it's really ambient or abstract it is distracting or goofy :/

xp Hahaha yes, I have a former ILXor's entire CD collection at my house right now and I love it.

the truth is when you and your SO have too much in common in terms of tastes it actually sucks.

that is the truth!

ive never had that problem. girls dont really like van der graaf and peter gabriel era genesis much.

YOU DON'T CUDDLE WITH MAX POWER, YOU STRAP YOURSELF IN AND FEEL THE GS.

i don't know, the one that got away had spookily similar taste to mine and it was great.

then how do you explain the fact that she got away.

I would like to go to shows together and both be into it and stand on my guy's feet etc etc all the cutsey stuff. Have never had this.

but the "equally passionate but about different stuff" thing is actually super super attractive

What about tza, chakles?

Laurel, stfo

i confused stfu and gtfo

laurel that stuff is good when you have it but it's also so so not a big thing, it's like 2% of teh goodness.

as long as you can agree on something to listen to while doing choirs and shit. most of my serious music listening is done with headphones.

SHUT THE FUCK OUT

lol doing choirs, are you 30 prostitutes?

this thread is reminding me yet again that relationships are in fact a huge unwelcome pain in the neck

but the "equally passionate but about different stuff" thing is actually super super attractive

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:32 PM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

bomb truths

but the "equally passionate but about different stuff" thing is actually super super attractive

Not if they expect you to love it and support them 100%, slocki. I was just thinking the other day, I could not honestly be with someone who made what I thought was "bad" art, I'm pretty sure. I know it's entirely subjective etc etc but the strain is too great for me.

JW, I have no idea what your drama is.

great thread people

oh shit

tombot otm lol

People who need/want to be in constant physical contact with their SO in public should be rounded up and thrown into ditches

then how do you explain the fact that she got away.

well it wasn't because she hated my band, that's for sure.

Not if they expect you to love it and support them 100%, slocki. I was just thinking the other day, I could not honestly be with someone who made what I thought was "bad" art, I'm pretty sure. I know it's entirely subjective etc etc but the strain is too great for me.

ha no that would suck.

well it wasn't because she hated my band, that's for sure.

-- Jordan, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 9:35 PM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

i realized after i said that, that it was a bit douchey... sorry

but the "equally passionate but about different stuff" thing is actually super super attractive

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 4:32 PM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

bomb truths

-- deej, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 9:33 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

is that otm or notm you're saying there?

ooooh sex ditches!

thats an otm, but saying 'truth bomb' was getting boring

Hoos bomb

dangerously close to hoos territory there deej

lawl

hes saying otm

i think shared taste in movies is way more important than shared taste in music, which is quite a bit more solitary xp

yeah being super nerded out about different stuff is awesome because then you can learn about the other stuff and not sit around arguing over which record to listen to.

max on the a train there

we cool, slocks.

yeah being super nerded out about different stuff is awesome because then you can learn about the other stuff and not sit around arguing over which record to listen to.

unless you're sick of pretending to like each other's music, obv.

I thought a very small handful of us had agreed that BREAD SLICE would be the new otm?

stfo is the new otm

ooooh sex ditches!

-- JTS, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 2:37 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://ny.channel101.com/view.php?epid=172

http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cos3ve.gif

gtfu?

SIMON SAYS

simo-xp

simo-xp is the new xp

golden handcuffs

i really dont like cuddling to music. unless it's really ambient or abstract

I think I want to try sometime to take cuddling to the next level. Reeeeealy intense cuddling. Music will be key. I will require this:
http://www.brainwashed.com/common/images/covers/krank015.jpg
and this:
http://assets3.pitchforkmedia.com/images/image/12271.pop.gif
and maybe this:
http://www.sweetslyrics.com/poze/growing.jpg
some of this:

and last but certainly not least, these:

You know how sometimes you're all snuggly and everything is good, but after a while you just can't help it, you get restless and have to terminate the snuggles? That's not going to happen this time.

oh. images.

http://www.radioryedale.co.uk/pictures/Red%20Wine.jpg

http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/gallery/images/t_diazepam.jpg

so disturbing

shh. Just lie still and let the art wash over you.

one sided cuddling

Have some Madeira my dear

fake kenan

At least they're good drugs

Eh. Maybe you're right. Fully consensual ambient valium comas are probably a bit much to hope for. I'll just make that a sunday afternoon alone instead. Won't be the first time.

Fully consensual

Self love usually is

are the pills ground up in the wine or not?

no no, too hard to control the dose. I think you're brushing up against anaesthesiology as it is.

22. kenan

Ay bell labs/J0hn did I clear that up satisfactorily for you? I srsly do wanna have this convo

no man but on a forum where "gay-ass" is an acceptable don't-mean-anything-by-it insult I hardly see what the point is, no point in going to war over it or anything

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41TZSKAD8PL._AA240_.jpg

Everyone can agree on this.

dude has gay cred on account of having two momz, right?

+5 gay cred

I have two landladies and live alone with a cat in a famously gay old neighborhood

I'm basically a homosexual in everything but sexual orientation

I have two landladies and live alone with a cat in a famously gay old neighborhood

+2 gay cred

Is it a girl cat?

the gays don't work in the the secure aspie data center

lol i read that as "handladies" and was like, man, dc professional culture is fucking weird

The only time I could see a girl's musical taste being a problem is if she hates - like, really HATES - my music or bands that I'm in. And that's mostly just for logistical purposes; those nights of the week I'm playing gigs that she doesn't want to be at, wtf do we do then?

This is insanity

Sunny's right. Except for once or twice, I've never felt obligated to guilt her into listening to my caterwauling.

it's good for people to have separate interests and nights apart. the only way i see it as a problem is if this hypothetical girl goes out of her way to be mean about things.

Oh if only she had been hypothetical.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/books/review/Donadio-t.html

These days, thanks to social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, listing your favorite books and authors is a crucial, if risky, part of self-branding

uguhughuguhugfhu barfola.
no wonder these girls can't keep a man.

Why are they drinking the networking site-kool aid?

(Members of theatlasphere.com, a dating and fan site for devotees of “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead,” might disagree.)

OKAY GUYS WHO IS UP FOR A MASSIVE BOARD INVASION

use of the term 'self-branding' = dealbreaker

they wouldn't even give your george rr martin-reading ass the time of day.

as though i'd sleep with anybody who hangs out with new yorker contributors!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/books/review/Donadio-t.html

Some years ago, I was awakened early one morning by a phone call from a friend. She had just broken up with a boyfriend she still loved and was desperate to justify her decision. “Can you believe it!” she shouted into the phone. “He hadn’t even heard of Pushkin!”

lol @ kenan's ex being quoted

lol who?

Nora Ephron

indie rock listeners.
vegans.

http://thedatingoptimist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Dealbreakers-234x300.jpg

wait, what's indie rock, because sometimes you're on the border

conner oberst, vampire weekend, clap your hands and say yes.

are any indie bands ok?

i am just being snarky & generalizing of course.

For me....

*Already have a child. I'm not against it, I'm just not at the point of my life where I can deal with (or afford) raising a kid, so even if it's not an obstacle early on, it will be in the long run if we're trying to be serious.

*Racism/homohobia -- can't tolerate it, and if they displayed these qualities to where it was obviously a trait, they'd be gone

*Intolerant of my music -- nuff said.

*Won't let me watch football on Sundays. I'm down with making sacrifices on this once in a while to spend time with my woman (and have frequently), but if every Sunday you're bitching at me to quit watching the game, I either get to interrupt your ladies nights, or you're out.

*Frequently disrespects me in front of friends. Fighting/quarreling is for private, dirty laundry should not be aired frequently.

*Forces religion on me. Honestly I don't see how this would slip past me in the introductory phase, but it has happened to friends and relatives before....

*Cheating. Obviously.

* Boring

*

*Won't let me watch football on Sundays. I'm down with making sacrifices on this once in a while to spend time with my woman (and have frequently), but if every Sunday you're bitching at me to quit watching the game, I either get to interrupt your ladies nights, or you're out.

*Frequently disrespects me in front of friends. Fighting/quarreling is for private, dirty laundry should not be aired frequently.

*Forces religion on me. Honestly I don't see how this would slip past me in the introductory phase, but it has happened to friends and relatives before....

sweet jesus. who the hell have you been dating??

pro-tip: if any of these terms - 'forces', 'wont let', 'disrespects' or 'sacrifice' - apply to anything RUN

Ex- told me today about the medium who reached her dead brother and predicted her life was going to have a massive change every twelve years which is totally happening right now!!!!
Made me miss her a lot less.

Birther, teabagger, has voted GOP straight ticket at any point - dealbreakers.

birther?

One of the loons who thinks Obama was born in Kenya.

<my real name> became a fan of Not Dating Republicans

Man people were really opposed to men in thong underwear 8 years ago. How times change.

If you have bad breath, fuck you. I know it's not right, maybe you cant even help it because of something medical or genetic, but I can't help being irrevocably and acutely put off.

Are there people who tolerate halitosis? Can you maintain romantic/sexual attraction to a person with bad breath? How does that work?

n.b. I probably have bad breath, how do you tell

I think ketosis causes bad breath? If you want to know how bad your own is, lick the back of your hand, let it dry s few seconds then smell it

I do know this trick and use it occassionally. I don't think I have bad breath, but it really is almost impossible to assess your own situation. I know I pprbably sound paranoid at this point! But really I don't do everything one can do to ensure fresh breath. I brush my tongue but I don't use an actual tongue scraper, which are far more effective. I don't use a rinse or mouthwash. And I usually only brush once per day! I probably reek.

Flossing a concern of others, I’m guessing

I floss. Teeth are good.

Flossing is probably key to maintaining good breath, too

rip - you can tell if you have bad breath by blowing on your hand close to your face.

I tried very hard to think back to my 20s, when seeking a relationship was an achingly active concern of mine, but to the best of my memory I had so few relationships that the concept of having one, then flinging it aside on the basis of one unacceptable shortcoming, never arose. If it had, I expect it would have centered around a loss of trust. But that is most often a slow, iterative erosion rather than a sudden realization.

aimless OTM

Visible grime on teeth tho

I have a friend who has chronic terrible breath. I think it's from dental/gum problems. I have wondered how his partner works around it. I assume they both just aren't into a lot of kissing, which is totally fine.

Can you maintain romantic/sexual attraction to a person with bad breath? How does that work?

― rip van wanko, Sunday, May 27, 2018 7:55 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

For sure, but that's recognising the other has "bad" breath at times but you don't perceive it as such/find it annoying, because chemistry/love. I firmly believe this is the case.

xp If you already have a relationship with that person, you talk with them about it and find out what's up with that. If you are merely contemplating a relationship, I guess that could stop you from starting one.

The only hard rule in relationships I have is "no cocaine"

I think it's a given of no Trumpsters, which covers a huge range of evils.

Lol fgti what are you saying

My ex was a huge coke addict. It’s a total dud

Even when she met her fiance and claimed to quit she would do it when he was out of town. It ducks

quack is whack

If you do coke our relationship is over, that’s my only rule. Politically socially economically unconsciounable, terrifying to create paranoia in your friends and partner that you’re hiding it, divisions in social activity, just the worst thing. I’ve never done it and never will. It’s my one super-control freak thing and I make it clear to anyone I date that it’s a dealbreaker. The fact that it would be perceived as grouchy or party-pooper or manipulative to have this rule just reenforces for me that coke is evil and people who do it. My zealousness has caused social circles who experience a collective upswing in coke usage to stop including me as much, or not invite me to this party or that. Keep your invite, I’d rather moisturize my limbs and drink tea and rewatch Willow for the 100th time by myself than hang out with anyone when they’re doing it

I’ve never done it largely because I know I’d love it and become a cokehead overnight, and do I really need to take a drug that makes me more condescending and arrogant? I’m coked-out on life

imo a relationship wherein just one member uses cocaine is just... unfathomable

otoh fgti, many members of this board would love to see you put out 6 albums in the next year

Addiction of any kind makes being in a relationship fairly impossible

the couple that drinks together stays together tho as they say, addiction "works" in relationships where two people have a crutch whether it's the same drug or something else

xpost to fgti, i'm not evil tho man :p

honestly man not all users (i use occasionally) would consider it a dealbreaker to not do a drug, i've willingly stopped many things for partners because it made them uncomfortable, drugs being one

fwiw i went out with someone for a long time and i very occasionally noticed their bad breath and mentioned it, then when we split up people said "how could you have gone out with him, his breath stank". LBI otm.

albv otfm, I have just dragged myself out of a 25 year relationship in which an eating / control disorder held court. It’s incredible how one becomes an enabler while solemnly avowing the opposite and raging against it.

I used to work with for this Walter Mitty/lothario type boss whose drunken boast once was: "I'm fat, I'm ugly, I sweat a lot, I've got a small knob... but women love me because I can fuck for hours!". He never mentioned the bad breath!

control issues are a deal breaker for me

People who cannot compromise or ditch their routine to make a partnership work are duds to me. I put up with so much power lording from past partners for god knows why but now it’s a red flag