what the heck do dudes want for their birthdays?

craigslist

Booze, or socks, or permanent markers.

(Those are the things I always want for my birthday.)

(Even though I am a girl.)

(Everyone needs these things.)

booze. videogames.

Illegal fireworks.

Transformers toys (the cool ones from the movie, not the lame anime ones)

Marvel Masterworks The Mighty Thor Volume 6

Miles Davis Beyond the Corner box set

or is that just me

cash and a bj

www.henfap.com

Custom stationery with elegant embossed letterheads.

Jesus Abbott you got me all worked up about your cock on that other thread and now you're a girl.

embroidered waistcoat

Confederate flag

A monogrammed flask.

24 Hours of Throbbing Gristle plizz.

love, weed, and a copy of 'altered states' by ron trent

wighat

Every single thing in the Sharper Image catalog.

A cask of Amontillado.

http://www.lawnvac.com/products/images/TRAILERVACWEB1_000.jpg

If you're buyin'...

Is that for the living room?

the moon and the stars

In other words a threesome?

My default answer to this question used to be the Queen Mother's head on a stick.

Janus Films dvd box set, bj, rear-tine tiller, not necessarily in that order.

its true you can't go wrong with bjs

i want to amend mine--

cash an eighth and a bj

-- max, Thursday, September 6, 2007 4:03 PM (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yeah, but when you give em blowjobs all the time, it's not that special

Put a birthday bow on it first.

a balloon of nitrous oxide and a bj when he wakes up?

i should stop talking now

I always want the same stuff:

Cool socks
Kitchen utensils
Art supplies
Homemade comps (CD, tape, whatever)
Books I might actually read or look at
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Cash money

why do all my dream bday gifts involve drugs and sex acts

because you're a man.

virgin pussy

Boobs, blowjobs and steak. Plus, you know, cash is always good. And beer.

Gift cert to local book/vidgames store.

booze.

sex or sex-related activity.

new cookin' grill

a puppy

C on T's if usually not allowed

Bob Standard knows what is what in the gifts department!

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/51IUgaKtW1L._SS400_.jpg

pay off sizeable consumer debt

a break from you

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1013/635583114_6a551d1950_o.jpg

To not have a big fuss made.

c on f

This thread is totally giving me ideas.

a break from you

-- wanko ergo sum, Friday, 7 September 2007 00:25 (2 hours ago) Link

To not have a big fuss made.

-- Pleasant Plains, Friday, 7 September 2007 00:31 (2 hours ago) Link

those are probably the most otm

c on f

-- roxymuzak, Friday, September 7, 2007 12:44 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

this is the most otm

but only for the inner jerk that lies in every man

Hot Carls

Anal?

Permission to go play golf

Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters
Toys that shoot things or are monsters

CDs, books, home made knitted tea coseys, I don't know!

Heavy knitwear, vox amps and tremolo pedals.

kitchen gadgets

the head of alfredo garcia

yeah, but when you give em blowjobs all the time, it's not that special

LADIES THIS IS NOT TRUE ITS ALWAYS SPECIAL DON'T EVER CHANGE

^ otm, this is a huge misconception

that's one way of describing it!

:D

wii

24 Hours of Throbbing Gristle plizz

Well, that goes without saying surely?

According to Lee Hazlewood's song "Birthday", it's a "PoA or a BJ"

Permission to go play golf

Is this a euphemism? *insert jokes about holes-in-one, birdies etc here*

In my experience, they want cooler, more expensive, smaller, faster versions of gadgets they already own.

fleshlight ultra?

No thanks, I've given up.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=270160943987&Category=14010

I mean, obviously a threesome, but I'm not sure how to arrange that...

happy to help!

Also, I would like to make Toys That Shoot Things Or Are Monsters my new screenname, pls.

i think the red bull dozers EP available on iTunes would make a great present.

Is virgin pussy difficult to arrange? is there no socially awkward young thing in your circle of influence?

they're snatched up like toddlers around here.

lol - purity ring girl + roofies

I unpacked a box at our new place last night and found that it only contained Toys That Shoot Things Or Are Monsters. Ones I had never even seen at the old apartment.

Mark C otm I believe. Maybe not the only thing but still appreciated.

I try to get my guy obscure things that relate to his dorky interests (Howard Stern tees, this year a Soul Train poster) or electronics (playstation, games, car stereo things).

Porn is probably good.

I have also knitted and sewn him things. Although I'm very proud and happy with these gifts, I know they probably aren't as exciting to him as the Soul Plane poster.

Yes not soul train, but Soul Plane. Far more lame.

waht do chicks want?

I want things that are specific to my tastes and interests without having to give a list. If you pay attention to me, this should not be a problem.

Knitting needles from Jacob the Jeweller, obvs.

cunnilingus innit

I always get a $100 gift certificate to the local yarn shop along with whatever else he gets me. My man treats me right.

Isn't that what anyone wants to receive on their birthday from their partner? Regardless of gender.

Although steak and blowjobs should work for guys in the on the same kind of level that shiny, expensive jewelry and rug munching works for girls.

Rug munching. Teehee.

why do all my dream bday gifts involve drugs and sex acts
because you're a man human.

what do daft punk want for their birthdays?

A cloth to rub their metal penis.

http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/1336/1189173787856ma8.gif

Yarn is awesome! You don't know. . .

I wouldn't want to c on the f for my birthday, because the whole time I would be thinking "What a jerk I am, I want to c on the f for my birthday"

yeah c on f is strictly for xmas

and what a jerk it was, too.

oh memories

underneath the mistletoe

With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your fs be white

god guys!

YOU STARTED IT ALL!

c on f

-- roxymuzak, Friday, September 7, 2007 12:44 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Link

haha true.

Finally came up with a present for Mr. Jaq's 50th. Gave him 2 clues at lunch today: 1) it involves a 3rd party and 2) it will take about 3 months to complete.

Bwahahahahahaha!

A total kitchen renovation!

Ooooo! Good idea! (I will save that for the year he gets me the $10k laser turntable thing he's always lusting after.)

A trip to a chateau in France.

One third of a baby?

three months of threesomes

One REALLY long fuck?

oh, you hush! no babies! We're OLD PEOPLE!

M White - though it does involve keys, that is not it.

uhm, xpost - Jordan, that's the first thing he thought of too.

Tut, Mr. White, that's the only sort for the elderly.

One third of a baby is 67% easier to care for.

M White - though it does involve keys, that is not it.

Chère Madame, I was merely speaking to my own birthday gift wishes.

A dry-aged side of beef?

Oh, wait, I think I got it -- his portrait painted by an artist he likes.

Or maybe Jaq's?

driving school

A giant unpasteurized regional cheese that is only made seasonally?

Wait, shit, I want to go to driving school.

Having two birthday parties on/near his actual birthday and then having a third one three months later?

cold fusion

I'm not picky about b-day gifts myself, but I love clothes, DVDs, and special foods. Especially clothes -- I always welcome female input in the department. Dress me, baby!

Weapons of Mass Destruction

i hate getting clothes, unless it's something i've picked myself or expressed interest in

Well, I find that teh ladies tend to buy me things they'd like to see me in. Crisp slacks, suave sweaters, pretty ties, the kind of thing I can rarely be arsed to buy for myself (especially since I can wear jeans to work). And those things make me feel all fly and manly.

Cold hard cash is NOT always ok. That's just fucking lazy. Some random person on the street could know I could always use some cash. I'd rather get nothing but a "happy birthday" than cash. Or even an article of clothing that is godawful. Plus, if I wanted some cash from you, I'd just take it from your purse.

I also am too picky for clothes.

I always welcome female input in the department.

Uhhh.

I'm not at all the kind of person for whom to buy clothes, unless I have very specifically told you I like something. I am, alas, horribly persnickety.

a blowjob

(10/3)

French alarm clock

see, I don't get this "a" blowjob. What kinda present is that? You should ask for one for every year old you are, to be completed before the next birthday or something.

Man, all of a sudden, Old age is really looking 'up'.

oof

Don't most dudes give enough hints over the course of time that you can usually pick something?

no.

most dudes don't think about their birthday til maybe a few days before.

blowj....oh i see we've covered that

Mine has been hinting for awhile that he wants a blue-ray DVD. Hope he sent a letter to Santa.

i take cash or credit

I mean instead of cash, at least take him out to dinner or buy him some candy or COOK him dinner (wearing nothing but an apron would be even better) or ANYTHING. Christ.

butt secks (9/29)

Tickets to his favorite local sports squadron, has that been mentioned? I know sports aren't "cool".

time travel machine

rocket-powered skate board

playoff tickets in Fenway would be good. I'll even pay for airfare.

rocket-powered blow job

as someone kinda said upthread, bj's are special and appreciated and I'm not going to be ungrateful, but hopefully they're not once-a-year special!

grand slam blow job, with fireworks

blowjob in fenway during the playoffs

btw, happy b-day tomorrow milo!

(buttsecks not included)

if you had a time machine, she could go back in time and give you your FIRST blowjob

making memories is the best gift of all!

http://dallaspenn.com/pics/albums/album01/Total_recall_0.jpg

blowjob while dinosaur watches

wait strike that

three months is New Year's Eve

dinosaur pony ride

^^^^ NEW SONG TITLE FOR BAND, THANKS ME

passes to go ATV riding, skiing, horsebacking
one-day lessons at a race driving school

2 tickets to paradise

ugh! fenway??? ban max

velociraptor blowjob

Gift certificates for shit he likes. Anything else will get the pretend smile.

You know the one, the one he had the last time you bought him something thoughtful.

a robot

that gives bjs

Hm, well, he is fascinated by those Roombas.

hot sauce
bbq stuff
dry-aged beef

blowjob in fenway during the playoffs WATCHING THE YANKS BEAT THE SOX

-- max, Friday, September 28, 2007 2:32 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

fixed

haha the only team i hate more than rsox

you on the pill
a glass bowl/bong
a joint and a lighter placed by his chair in front of the tv

Mars, bitches!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_Spacecraft

A comfy reading-chair k thx

A robot to spy on my cats with

Okay, I want that one too.

at least take him out to dinner or buy him some candy or COOK him dinner

Cooking mention is hell of funny talking to Jaq, who out of heartly goodness mailed me LEFTOVER kitchen gear. Yay. Is like noting to Téodor Orezscu he should might cook something. Teehee.

Not to say leftover=bad, as it's k-awesome stuffs, but that she has a lot of cooking accouterments.

Methinks Granny Dainger was just bemoaning his last birthday present of nothing but cold hard cash, poor thing no one cooks for him etc. It's not special special when I cook, because I cook all the time :-/ Not that Mr. Jaq doesn't like it or appreciate it or anything. The same with the dry-aged beef (freezer is full of it and the pastured pork and the extra-happy 'n tasty bug-eating chickens). I used to keep a list of weird little things he'd mention in passing, as ideas for future uses, but have sort of run out.

That said, I did come up with something special for this birthday, something he mentioned probably 2 years ago that he'd still want. Will report back as to whether it earned the fake smile or the Real Thing.

This, of course, in addition to the 50+1 to grow on blowjobs w/ fireworks.

I'm aware of the cooking prowess of Jaq, and I wasn't directing anything to her in particular. She wasn't one who mentioned cash.

what i want.

CASH is balls, all is well, all is true

That brownie pan looks GODHEAD

This is the most depressing goddamn thread on ILX. (to me)

blowjob while dinosaur watches

mr. que has a j mascis fetish?

seen enough to eye Mr. Que
seen too much to try Mr. Que

a hug

Well, the block of 10 piano lessons was met with small enthusiasm, but may be due to us being hung over this morning and still needing to haul a bunch of artwork from the old place and make Goodwill drop off runs and all that nonsense.

At least I didn't sign him up for AARP - that's what his sister's boyfriend did for her 50th birthday. What a guy.

lol in some cases driving lessons

Nearly 30 years old and haven't been to driving school