100 Stupid Movies About Ridiculously Improbable Serial Killers

99. Silence of the Lambs

98. Saw

what am I the only person that finds this thriller subgenre endlessly irritating?

I like Se7en and Silence of the Lambs, but I know many who agree with your irritation.

97. Strangeland

All serial killers are ridiculously improbable, including the real ones.

does this include straight-up slasher movies?

saw rulez

96. Copycat

Shakey started with the only modern one I like a lot.

seven is pretty awesome w/the way it finesses the end

best one i ever saw was a seven rip-off with christopher lambert about a guy who's assembling a real life crucifix from body parts of hobos

All serial killers are ridiculously improbable, including the real ones

I don't know what this means... I'm referring to movies wherein serial killers are presented as superhumanly intelligent and attentive to details, while also being violently psychopathic and remarkably skillful at psychological manipulation. They are also usually very "cool" and calm and collected.

does this include straight-up slasher movies?

taking the above into account, no. It also rules out most serial killer movies about actual real-life serial killers, who usually are more pathetic and dysfunctional than superhuman.

best one i ever saw was a seven rip-off with christopher lambert about a guy who's assembling a real life crucifix from body parts of hobos

hahaha okay this sounds really funny

it was REALLY funny and REALLY gross!!

What was the one with Lou Diamond Philips coming back from the dead? That was pretty terrible. I guess we're not talking about supernatural horror though.

sorry Morbz - this was inspired by watching se7en last night (I'd never seen it in its entirety before and felt that after Zodiac I should give early Fincher another go but ... ugh, Kevin Spacey)

http://www.filmscoop.net/locandine/maniaccop3.jpg
me & my friend couldnt even get through an hour of this

96. From Hell

95. The Bone Collector

94. Kiss the Girls

93. Identity

92. Serial Mom

91. Kalifornia

I was debating putting From Hell on here given the source material but the movie really does fit the bill

Can't forget sequels or prequels:

90. Saw II
89. Saw III
88. Hannibal
87. Red Dragon
86. Manhunter

OHMIGOD HOW COULD I FORGET:

85. The Cell

That really should be #1. What an awful film that was.

I don't know what this means... I'm referring to movies wherein serial killers are presented as superhumanly intelligent and attentive to details, while also being violently psychopathic and remarkably skillful at psychological manipulation. They are also usually very "cool" and calm and collected.

UH THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW THEY BECOME "SERIAL KILLERS" INSTEAD OF "DUMBASS WHO GOT CAUGHT KILLING A DUDE."

Uh no. It's mostly because the police aren't very good at catching perpetrators of motive-less crimes.

oh man the Cell

84. Exorcist III
83. The Watcher
82. Eye See You

"The Cell" was not in any way, shape or form awesome, yet I still really, really enjoyed it.

81. The January Man

80. The Hitcher

79. May

78. Dirty Harry
77. House Of 1000 Corpses

God, I love stupid movies about ridiculously improbable serial killers.

Serial Mom is stupidly good obv btw, but it's still stupid and improbable. It's also easily the best movie listed so far.

76. Sin City

75. Zodiac

74. Batman

73. Masscre At Central High

72. Scoop
71. Match Point

70. Natural Born Killers

75. Zodiac

I think this is disqualifiable for a number of reasons (as is American Psycho - surprised no one's dropped that one yet)

also wtf Match Point is not about a serial killer?!

69. So I Married An Axe Murderer

hahaha

69. The Frighteners

68. Basic Instinct
67. Basic Instinct 2
66. Jade

the frighteners is awes

the fey dude had a body count of three in Match Point right? Certainly meets improbable and stupid standards.

Why is Zodiac disqualifiable?

(xxpost)I can see how everything Jackson's made since would make you say that, but no it's not.

Serial Mom is stupidly good obv btw, but it's still stupid and improbable. It's also easily the best movie listed so far.

Errr... Manhunter?

"Why is Zodiac disqualifiable?"

Because it wasn't ridiculously improbable.

"Errr... Manhunter?"

Is mediocre.

is "guy sends wacky puzzles after every killing" any less improbable than "cannibal psychiatrist"?

65. Halloween
64. Halloween 2
63. Halloween 4
62. Halloween 5
61. Halloween 6
60. Hallowen H20
59. Halloween: Resurrection
58. Halloween (2007)

I really like all the Hannibal Lecter movies except for "Hannibal", and that one is still kind of "wow that is so retarded it's amazing".

(I stand with 'All serial killers are ridiculously improbable, including the real ones.')

57. Crawlspace

You could show me documentary footage of a woman giving birth to an adult midget and the scene where Hannibal pops the top on Ray Liotta would still top that shit.

"Hannibal" is still kind of "wow that is so retarded it's amazing".

OTM, I'd probably rather see that again than any of the others.

(xxxxpost)As if that was the only improbable thing about Hannibal Lecter!

Alex OTM re: Zodiac. also because it isn't really about the killer, its about obsession and obfuscation and a whole lot of other things... the killer isn't even depicted as being especially superhuman or unusual.

re: Match Point, Rhys-Davies only kills Scarlett Johannsen and the neighbor (and the neighbor's only killed as a cover-up attempt)...? I don't see how he fits the bill of a serial killer at all.

xxxxxxpost

56. Frenzy

is "guy sends wacky puzzles after every killing"

you are aware that he really did this, right?

any less improbable than "cannibal psychiatrist"?

you are aware this type of person has never existed, right?

55. Arsenic And Old Lace

God what's that fucking movie with Annabella Sciorra where Alan Alda turns out to be the psycho murderer? Was he serial in that?

"The West Wing"?

Alex OTM re: Zodiac. also because it isn't really about the killer, its about obsession and obfuscation and a whole lot of other things... the killer isn't even depicted as being especially superhuman or unusual.

some elaboration - you'll note that the killer fucks up all over the place (both in the real case and in the movie) and the main reason he isn't caught isn't because he's a genius or particularly skillful, but because there's a media frenzy combined with a lack of coordination on the part of law enforcement that hopelessly obscures everything about the case.

55. Arsenic And Old Lace

LOLZ YES

54. Art School Confidential

xpost WAY TO GIVE AWAY THE ENDING TO WHISPERS IN THE DARK, JON LEWIS. I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT OH GOD FUCK YOU.

Christ, Shakey, what part of "All serial killers are ridiculously improbable, including the real ones" is hard to understand?

Chill, bro-dawg.

altho the comedies listed so far are by and large redeemed by their being comedies

(except Art School Confidential, that movie fucking SUCKED)

is "guy sends wacky puzzles after every killing"

you are aware that he really did this, right?

any less improbable than "cannibal psychiatrist"?

you are aware this type of person has never existed, right?

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, September 7, 2007 9:26 PM (7 seconds ago)

you are aware that "improbable" and "never ever happened" aren't the same thing, right?

xpost

Also I am so seeing the shit out of Ethan's Christopher Lambert one, whatever it turns out to be called.

Shakey OTM re art school confidential

I can't believe I forgot about Whispers In The Dark haha.

53. Frailty

I enjoyed the first two thirds of it, but I can't pretend it isn't stupid.

52. Falling Down

Michael Douglas was a serial killer in that? I thought he just threatened people.

something that has actually happened is by definition more probable than something that never has

wtf with logic 101 over here...

I never saw it, I am making spurious assumptions.

I think pretending that serial killers as they exist IRL and serial killers as they are portrayed in cinema are on the same level of improbability is wilfully naive.

51. Black Christmas

something that has actually happened is by definition more probable than something that never has

wtf with logic 101 over here...

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, September 7, 2007 9:32 PM (11 seconds ago)

Wow, somehow you just managed to be wrong according to both logic and math in a single sentence. I'm impressed.

It's amazing how much of Falling Down is a mediocre Robert Duvall vehicle when the ads were all THIS WHITE MAN'S MAD AS HELL AND NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE. But then Robert Duvall vehicles don't really sell.

49. Death Proof

49. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

There have really been people who used their car to kill!!! like Laura Bush

48. Leprechaun

lol and Brandy!

47. The Hills Have Eyes

46. THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS

Leprechaun's not really a serial killer is he...?

45. every slasher movie ever?

46. THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS

^^^^^oh man yes "so that's where all the money in the ghetto went"

44. Beethoven

43. Beethoven's 2nd

latebloomer see my comment upthread re: slasher movies... I'm talkin about a specific kind of serial killer film portrayal - where the killer is some kind of crazy genius playing intricate games and killing people in incredibly convoluted ways all because of some grand design the killer has.

(I guess that would include some slasher movies but it excludes quite a lot)

42 - 1. Identity

I must admit I've never seen Leprechaun. I retract it and replace it with Murder By Death

(xpost)Haha it's dumb enough that it's a fair cop.

xpost OMG I can't wait for the serial killer who ONLY USES HIS CAR as a murder weapon.

41. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/09/Lastsuppermovie.jpg/200px-Lastsuppermovie.jpg

I am literally the only person on Earth who liked "Identity" ;_;

40. "And Then There Were None"/"Ten Little Indians"

yes, you are. xpost

Donald Kaufman: Listen, I need a cool way to kill people. Don't worry, for my script.
Charlie Kaufman: I don't know that kind of stuff.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, come on, man, please? You're the genius.
Charlie Kaufman: Here you go. The killer's a literature professor. He cuts off little chunks from his victims' bodies until they die. He calls himself "the deconstructionist".

No wait my wife liked it too ^_^

39. "Happy Birthday To Me" (kind of)

38. Eating Raoul

Identity was cool, except for the twist.

As I remember PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, it's so silly that it's obvious that it's a fairy story.

Re: "Identity", If you're going to do that type of twist, though, that's about the only way you can do it.

37. Zodiac

OMG I can't wait for the serial killer who ONLY USES HIS CAR as a murder weapon.

dude that was the joke re: Deathproof wtf

oh Alfredpaws

36. Art School Confidential

35. Zodiac

I never saw Falling Down, but wasn't dude a mass murderer not a serial killer?

34. Red Dragon

33. 101 Dalmatians

Haha so many repeats!

32. Zodiac

31. Art School Confidential

30. Identity

29. Bridge On The River Kwai

28. Rockers

27. Hardboiled

26. Love Story

25. Babe, Pig In The City

24. Braveheart

23. Predator 2

22. Caligula

13. Chelsea Girls

20. STOMP Out Loud

19. Last King of Scotland

18. Steel Magnolias

17. Drumline

16. Menace II Society

15. Blue

14. Blue (Jarman version)

13. Dirty Dancing

12. Before Sunrise

11. Mary Poppins

10. 10

9. Amelie

8. Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

7. Chocolat

6. M

5. Se7en

dammit i wanted #6 to be 6. Sixth Man

4. Zodiac

3. Tuck Everlasting

2. Captain EO

1. American Psycho 2 with Mila Kunis

0. Air Bud

-1. The Rocketeer

-2. Zodiac

-3. The Apple Dumpling Gang

You forgot Poland Popeye

n-1. Movie not about killing

THERE NOW THIS THREAD CAN WRITE ITSELF GUYZ I PROGRAMMED IT

-4/ The Predator

Hot Lead and Cold Feet
Candyman 2: Farewell the Flesh

I just wanted to say:

1. American Psycho 2 with Mila Kunis

lolololololololol

Rob Zombie's Halloween

n-1. Movie not about killing

Kundun?

-6. A Room With A View

all movies are about killing

even Debbie Does Dallas?

As Andrea Dworking sez "All movies are potential slasher flix"

sex is only a metaphor for violence

You've Got Mail is a snuff film.

No 8mm, no credibility

I've wondered why a genre that seems to be just endless riffs off of one book--Silence of the Lambs--has remained so popular. When it got big in the late 80s, we were in the wake some highly publicized serial killers, like Ted Bundy, but the obsession was pretty escapist in the sense that most murders were (and are) drug related rather than the works of twisted geniuses.

Christopher Lambert flick: "Resurrection"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0142804/

with DAVID CRONENBERG!

No 8mm, no credibility

-- Oilyrags, Saturday, 8 September 2007 13:51 (1 hour ago) Link

no serial killers in that one!

me & my friend couldnt even get through an hour of this

-- and what, Friday, 7 September 2007 20:58 (Yesterday) Link

This movie gave me the worst nightmares EVER as a child.

Latebloomer:

Are you sure? I've pretty well blotted it out, but I thought that the snuff film ring had made lots, or at least a few.

Anyway, it does have Tony Soprano sucking a gun barrel like a cock. Surely that deserves some recognition.

How could I forget:

PRIMEVAL!

and also:

LAKE PLACID!

i remember 'resurrection'. saw it in the theatre actually. the characters were standing in the rain and vomiting all the time, it was kinda avantgarde.

OK JEEPERS CREEPERS

http://www.reelingreviews.com/jeeperscreepers2pic.jpg

-7 the hills have eyes

classic btw

-8. Zodiac

-812. The Man With Two Brains. If you haven't seen it and don't know who the serial killer is, I won't spoil it for you. It's one of the best gags in the film.

-3.14159. Videodrome if only because having a videotape put in your stomach that tells you to kill and turns your hand into a gross sausage-hand-gun thing seems somewhat improbable. Also serial killers killing people for mind control snuff videos. But whatevs.

-10. Little Shop of Horrors, like how well-reasoned were the space plant's murders?

-11. Natural Born Killers, tho NB this is hell of awesome movie

-12. LOVE OBJECT in which a man turns psychotic after getting too obsessed with his Real Doll.

a seven rip-off with christopher lambert about a guy who's assembling a real life crucifix from body parts of hobos

Wait: why wouldn't just one hobo do? Was the cross made out of hobos? Or was he just using the bits of the hobos that looked sufficiently Jesus-like?

P.S. Horrible as it is, The Cell is somehow one of my favorite things ever -- I especially like that when they go into J.Lo's brain, it's just an ENDLESS DESERT in which she's some kind of smug sun-queen

-13. Alien

The Cell should have a petri dish threesome with the Cremaster Cycle and something really good. What would that offspring look like?

<i>75. Zodiac

I think this is disqualifiable for a number of reasons (as is American Psycho - surprised no one's dropped that one yet)</i>

Why is American Psycho disqualifiable? It's not based on a true story and he's completely ridiculous.

I enjoyed The Cell and Identity and most of the movies that you all are picking on here. I even enjoyed this:
The Driller Killer

-14. Super Mario Bros.

<i>something that has actually happened is by definition more probable than something that never has</i>

^^^^ OK still wtf with this?

Wait: why wouldn't just one hobo do? Was the cross made out of hobos? Or was he just using the bits of the hobos that looked sufficiently Jesus-like?

-- nabisco, Saturday, September 8, 2007 10:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

he was using a different hobo for each body part

Why is American Psycho disqualifiable? It's not based on a true story and he's completely ridiculous.

"twist" ending indicating he hasn't actually killed anybody

just being a sadistic serial killer IN YOUR MIND does not count as being an actual serial killer

dude all these movies are imaginary

Untitled Rachel Ray Snuff Film

is there already a thread listing all the movies where the big twist is "The Psycho was ME all along! WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYY!???!!! (shakes fist at sky)"? There are a million of em, The Number 23 being the latest and most awful. (There's also the OH MY GOD! I AM ALREADY DEAD! sub-genre eg Sixth Sense, The Others, etc.)

What other OH MY GOD! I AM ALREADY DEAD! are there?

The OThers

Sixth Sense

but seriously Jacob's Ladder, for one

angel heart

-15. Zodiac.

-16. Zodiac.

"twist" ending indicating he hasn't actually killed anybody

just being a sadistic serial killer IN YOUR MIND does not count as being an actual serial killer

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Sunday, 9 September 2007 21:26 (Yesterday) Link

That's what I get for not ever finishing the book or the movie (because it was just too much for me to stomach). Is it the same ending in the book? Anyone know?

from hell otm

You know, it was somewhat spelled out in the movie that it may have been "all in his mind," but I think I chose to deliberately ignore that (consciously or unconsciously) because it's so much more entertaining that way.

15. Henry: a portarit of a serial killer.
the best serial killer movie ever made,guarentied

Oh wait, here's one...
PERFUME: THE STORY OF A MURDERER
(tho it's not stupid, but fantastic)

-19. Heathers

I definitely don't think Henry counts. It's so very unnerving because it's so very probable.

Henry is a great movie (albeit one I've only managed to stomach watching once) but hues pretty closely to a tone of flat, mundane realism. Henry doesn't do anything particularly unbelievable or genius or impossible, its all just garden-variety assault/violence.

Something that actually happened: Special needs kid gets drunk on tequila.

Probable movie: Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.

What's the point of this thread?

btw american psycho was so obv ambiguous aka whole point fyi duh

American Psycho is improbable! The movie was a gas and the novel was a bloated corpse. Why are we debating the probability? Patrick Bateman is not probable.

-20. Zodiac

HI FB!

I agree that Henry is an awesome movie.

HI JJ!

HI -21. Zodiac!

Listen, I got bored with the Illusionist when I realized the whole movie turned on the ability of the inscrutable Asians inventing holographic projection in the nineteenth century, but I realized it kinda blew before that.

I mean, how probable is it that a Danish graveyard attendant from the sixteenth century was actually that witty? (moving on here to a diferent reference)

Amirite?

P.S. I'm not wearing pants.

U R IMPROBABLE

the illusionist suked but the prestige was bobm

While we're on the subject, does anyone remember an Australian(?) indie flick from the nineties, which mostly consisted of a female psychiatrist interviewing a serial killer in jail? I'm not sure if it was that improbable, but I can't remember the name of the movie.

I is a not wearing pants actually happened. LOGIK 101

-22. Zodiac
-23. Zodiac

Wait...The Illusionist? The Prestige? I didn't see those movies, but weren't they about magicians? Do all magicians kill people?

OH GOD...DOES DAVID COPPERFIELD KILL PEOPLE?!?

No they're improbable, which means NO MAGICIAN HAS EVER KILLED ANYONE EVER.

-24. The Number 23

No Country For Old Men haw

HOUSE OF WAX

Don't anyone be dismissing

http://www.horror-movies.ca/albums/userpics/Feed1.jpg

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/untraceable/

no mention of the "scream" or any of the slasher film sub-genre yet

slasher subgenre is discussed upthread as being something of a different animal

All serial killers are ridiculously improbable, including the real ones

I don't know what this means... I'm referring to movies wherein serial killers are presented as superhumanly intelligent and attentive to details, while also being violently psychopathic and remarkably skillful at psychological manipulation. They are also usually very "cool" and calm and collected.

does this include straight-up slasher movies?

taking the above into account, no. It also rules out most serial killer movies about actual real-life serial killers, who usually are more pathetic and dysfunctional than superhuman.

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, September 7, 2007 8:51 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

93. Identity

ya and it sucked too!

-25. the devils rejects
-26. whats eating gilbert grape
-27. zodiac

-28. the first power

-29. shocker

(how the fuck did this get this far w/o mention of)

-30. the stepfather (& sequels)

lol the first power

I kind of love that movie.

I spent all of October talking about how I wanted to watch -25. the devils rejects but then I forgot about it and still haven't seen it.

xp - jeff kober: ridiculously improbable tho his character may have been, u gotta admit that dude looks like a serial killing mf

http://content7.flixster.com/photo/48/42/27/4842277_gal.jpg

E, your reaction to TDR should correspond how well you enjoy 70s-era exploitation horror & the strength of your tolerance for (often comically ott, but still potentially upsetting) sadism & gore. you have been warned!

I'm pretty OK with all of those things tbh which is why I really want to see it.

Plus it's supposed to be much better than his first, right?

once again you prove to be a woman after my own heart!

*sigh*

house of 1000 corpses? supposed to be pretty dud, so I've actually never seen it.

so yeah, TDR is just fine as a standalone narrative (if, by narrative, u mean cavalcade of violence & grotesquery)

-30. the stepfather (& sequels)

Loosely based on a real guy, although he only killed the one family.

It strikes me that, among real-life dudes, the BTK and Green River killers were almost as ludicrous as any of these fictional guys. They got away with that shit for a loooooong time. Also the Zodiac, obvs.

Have there been movies about the Green River Killer? I'm sort of obsessed with that story.

so yeah, TDR is just fine as a standalone narrative (if, by narrative, u mean cavalcade of violence & grotesquery)

― jerkstore cowboy (Pillbox), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 3:44 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

Yeah, I need to see it. Also want to see it for the final "Freebird" scene which I hear is pretty epic.

although he only killed the one family. - thus not engaging in the ridiculously improbable repeat activity of marrying, mudering, remarrying, murdering etc.

pretty sure this was borrowed (stolen) pretty blatantly from Night of the Hunter, now that I think about it.

he BTK and Green River killers were almost as ludicrous as any of these fictional guys.

yeah, even the most shameless & exploitative of directors wouldn't go near the sort of irl behavior exemplified by someone like Albert Fish, for example (at least I hope not..) - unless it were done as something like a "true crime" police procedural, like Citizen X (about an equally reprehensible soviet-era russian sk).

Personally, I can indulge in the ott fictional stuff all day, but anything having to do with the irl guys just leaves me feeling terrible about humanity, empty inside, nauseous etc. Similarly, I'll gladly take in something absurdly bloody & pus-filled like Martyrs, but try to get me to watch an irl surgery or something & I'll probably faint.

The guy in Night of the Hunter only kills one family too. Technically he only kills Shelly Winters (the kids get away!)

I think they made two movies recently about Fish, weirdly enough.

Finding Nemo and Piranha 3D

ha

I like the less fantastical serial killer movies myself. One of the things I like about Zodiac and Memories of Murder is that both movies make it pretty clear that the main obstacle to catching these guys isn't that they are mad geniuses, it's that the police are poorly equipped to catch people who commit serial murders.

Loved se7en, especially the cinematography, twas ruined by pitts overacting at the end.

is there a thread on pretty looking films/great cinematography type of thread discussions on one of the threads?

Twin Peaks season 2 episodes with windom earl

One of the things I like about Zodiac and Memories of Murder is that both movies make it pretty clear that the main obstacle to catching these guys isn't that they are mad geniuses, it's that the police are poorly equipped to catch people who commit serial murders.

I agree -- most irl serial killers are more likely to be of low or average intelligence, they aren't criminal masterminds.

he main obstacle to catching these guys isn't that they are mad geniuses - gotta admit that those dudes are p interesting, but most sks are just sadistic perverts who get away with it as long as they do b/c of the randomness of their crimes.

lol xp - we seem to have a p fundamental disagreement here.

o wait, never mind. that is what I get for scanning posts too quickly

Ebert FUCKING LOVES (er, loved) The Cell

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-cell-2000

deeply bad last graf there

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/se7en-screenwriter-how-a-mixup-david-fincher-led-gutsy-ending-963957

Screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker was working at Tower Records in New York when he wrote Seven, which was optioned in the early 90s with Christmas Vacation director Jeremiah Chechik coming on board to direct. Chechik wanted to make a very different movie. Among the changes Chechik requested from Walker was one to alter that inventive ending. There was to be no head in a box.

-31. Zodiac

God what's that fucking movie with Annabella Sciorra where Alan Alda turns out to be the psycho murderer? Was he serial in that?

― Jon Lewis, Friday, September 7, 2007 5:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"The West Wing"?

― HI DERE, Friday, September 7, 2007 5:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink