BEST THREAD ON ILX: Part TWO - The Poll

Worst thread ever

so not gonna happen in a walk

Seeing as you so love to play the yan to my ying, Dom, why don't you arrange and compere that very idea?

Yeah, I just voted for "so not gonna happen." Bummed that nobody seconded Denny Lethargy vs. Denny Vertigo, though, since I remember reading that for the first time at Kenan's apartment and laughing uncontrollably.

there can only be one.

and it's got a trucker hat in it.

Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

The thread that just keeps on giving.

uppers.wav

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: uppers.wav is the only thread in this list whose hotlink FAILS to show up as the thread-title.

RISING WHIRLWIND SNOOZE BUTTON SMASH FTW

alright.. i only read the first bunch of postings.. and i dont know why there are so many haters out there.. dave is a great guy and does alott of work for charities.. pardon the spelling haha.. i dont know where you get corporate rock band from.. since hes libral as hell.. his lyrics are great.. just get beyond everyday and gravedigger.. his so smooth on the guitar its not even funny.. everyone in the band has incredible talent.. and i dont know how you can say its bland music.. some of the greatest artists ever are bland.. for example.. and keep in mind i love the beatles.. but "we all live in a yellow submarineee yellow submarinee.. la la la" its very boring as well.. oh and about his voice.. very few people have the range that dave has.. and what kind of music does everyone here listen too??.. besides britney spears and john mayer of course..

-- CcchrissS, Saturday, 10 December 2005 03:25

yeah, which is why I just clicked on it and GOT UPPERED. xpost john justen otm

I'm glad the Jam /Tube Station thread is in there - forgot about that one.

JESUS CHRIST POLL CLOSES OCTOBER 20TH?

whoa shit, that's a major-league cock-up

to the modreq board

no jay-z no credibility

Yeah that Jam one would be my 2nd choice.

damn shoulda seconded denny lethargy

no jay-z no credibility

fixed

SNOOZE BUTTON SMASH thread is even more my proudest ilx hour now that I'm unemployed freelance and the initial sentiment seems so alien now.

Robots in dis guys thread holds a very special place in my heart as the webpage I am most likely to bring up if I want to truly horrify my friends. One day I will show it to my son; once he's well into his adolescence and already wants nothing to do with me.

I would've seconded the Dennys thread most heartily but I've been so involved in non-internet life I almost completely missed out on all this.

HOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLever my vote/heart lies elsewhere.

I'm not sure I want to push this into being another version of Alltime Laughing Excelsior, but:

SIR PAUL:
Say say say what thou wil'st
But don't play games with my erection.
(sorry)

-- N. (nickdastoor), Monday, October 28, 2002 2:01 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

white couch ftw, though SNOOZE BUTTON SMASH is close. I'm fond of Unintentionally Homoerotic, too...

Robots is SO disturbing.

i was never into couch thread

Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email should win

BAN LOUIS JAGGER will win

Robots in dis guys is the thread that made Grady

AND ITS THE THREAD THATLL BREAK HIM

but "so not gonna happen" is the thread that made me stick around ILX in the first place.

i fear that the greatness of "so not gonna happen" is buried too deep within its 1000+ posts now for it to get the 1st place ranking here it deserves.

with most of the other threads that stand a chance of winning, you get to the payoff relatively early. but with "so not gonna happen" you don't get there till about 400 posts in. sure, the combination of the thread title and the picture in the first post lets you know something good is in store, but the it could have died within a few dozen posts. but the thing is, it didn't. something else happened.

******spoilers******

first the dialogue moves from "lol look at that guy" to examining everything within the frame to try and construct some context. then at about 80 posts in, the discussion moves to trying to figure out who the subjects are, and even trying to track them down, which is ridiculous but everyone gets wrapped up in it. the dmusic.com page belonging to roxy's friend is scoured for clues. and since roxy disappears shortly into the thread's life, it becomes a major red herring that ratchets up the tension.

then once roxy comes back and sees what the thread has turned into, she contacts her friend who sends her the link to the picture's original url on diehliniraq.com. its when she first links to one of many new photos from that night (over 400 posts in) that the thread begins to surpass all others. imo.

through diehliniraq.com's contents, (and jaymc.xls) we learn a few more details about that night - something that seemed an unobtainable goal a few hours prior. we learn that the bedroom isn't wayne's, but a friend of his - Ryan Diehl. we learn that the gathering wasn't just any old party, it was a goodbye party for ryan who- having enlisted just after high school- is getting deployed to iraq. we learn that the two girls on the bed are named megan and laurel and that they aren't really friends with the rest of the kids at the party. Megan (center) worked with ryan and may have had a fling with him (and there maaaay have been a three-way between ryan and both girls once). Laurel also probably made out with one of Ryan's friend's that night. We learn that the dude's last name is probably Loftus and confirm that he's definitely the oddball of this group of friends, yet is still part of their crew. but after 1000+ posts, we don't know much more than that.

You can look at ryan's myspace, as well as a few other kids who were there that night... but as for our heroes, they remain mostly a mystery. diehliniraq.com 404'd a few months ago, and, sadly, some of the thread's greatness may have left then too*. but the original photo remains.

gear's roomate moved out. matos will only be able to remember so many stories about his mother's ex. oink invites is locked until googlers can post without registering. uppers nsfw cant get much better than it already is. all the beef threads/ flame wars have burried the hatchet. dave matthews fans will always be dave matthews fans.

but "so not gonna happen"?

classic title/first post. image thread. a small little slice of america during wartime. a "look what i found on the internet" thread with a completely unexpected payoff. a realtime, multi-xpost clusterfuck. a "what if" that became a "what did." but, most of all, a thread that remains open-ended. still asking for its riddles to be solved. and Loftus is still sitting on that bed. playing that role we've all played at one time or another. so perfectly capturing the feeling roxy's friend was GISing for when he first stumbled upon awkward.jpg.

* archive.org did grab one picture from that night- the first roxy posted.

Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email should win

BAN LOUIS JAGGER will win

-- max, Thursday, September 13, 2007 3:34 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

^^^^^

thanks grady

Yeah that Jam one would be my 2nd choice.

-- pfunkboy, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 23:02 (Yesterday) Link

COSIGN

i was never into couch thread

-- chaki, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 23:21 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

ALSO THIS

Yeah, nicely done gr80.

u_u

:):)

you can thank me with your votes.

I'm sure I just posted to this and now its disappeared. Weird.
Anyway I repeat BAN LJ should not win as ILX is not just about him. Please don't fall into his trap.

^I had a post disappearance in ere too. MYSTERIOUSS.

no one will vote for that shit!

just realized no hen fap threads made it

; _____ ;

tears of joy

like a band that broke up or musician who died before they could go bad, so went Aja/ Dante.

you missed the MIA thread, LJ. It was definitely nominated twice.

that's my fave because of the folks who show up on it from different sides of the Sri Lankan conflict with their own different takes on things.

In the absence of that thread, Photoshop Ruined Album Covers clearly rules.

I was torn between wasp vibrator and Missionary Position, the Missionary wins because a) it's longer and has more lols, and b) it has that amazing sweets derailment in the middle leading to:

Doggy style is not the default for everyone, Kate. First time I tried it with my partner, she mentioned that it didn't work with her--note that's not "for" but "with"--she is angled/padded such that it's a strain on her to tilt the right way, and she doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as, for instance, missionary, of which she is a big fan.
-- green orange, Tuesday, 25 February 2003 12:44 (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GET THIS FILTH OFF MY SWEETS THREAD!!!
-- Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 25 February 2003 12:46 (4 years ago)

Which makes me laugh every time I read it.

The best thread was probably the one about that weird ginormous hotel in Pyongyang that disappeared mysteriously (the thread, not the hotel). The Mordor photoshop job was inspired. RIP weird Pyongyang hotel thread.

I fear there are too many options in this poll so the votes will be spread too thinly, but the overrated couch/trucker hat thread will win. Either that or BAN LOUIS JAGGER.

Xpost Nickalicious OTM.

Actually how on earth did I miss Ralf Hutter's Blind Date? That's fantastic!

Also:

Louis Jagger threads in this poll = 3
Black Metal Dudes threads in this poll = 0

^^^^^^^travesty.

if nothing else can get you to vote for "so not gonna happen," look for gabbneb's single contribution to it.

Also the Apologies For Boorish ILXing thread was definitely seconded, although I think that's kind of a 'had to be there at the time' kind of thread. I feel similar about So Not Gonna Happen which I regrettably missed at the time and never really bothered to read in its entirety. Had I been posting to it at the time I would've been all 'Best Thread Ever!' clearly.

ach. nobody seconded my "sing house of jealous lovers" thread.

Only one thread I created made this final.

When ILE/Moderator board mods get shook, simply for the maracas.jpg punchline.

although I think that's kind of a 'had to be there at the time' kind of thread.

i think that's true of a lot of them. this thread and the noms one depresses me. it's a bit like doing 'best conversation ever' or something. i don't really read old threads, except for stuff to zing people with.

Please don't fall into his trap

stfu it was nominated and then seconded, once again you've referred to my non-existent 'trap', plz to stop being a cunt. fyi i don't want it to win either.

Yeah, in reading or re-reading many of these, quite a few are "you had to be there at the time" threads...but I don't think that such is the case with "So Not Gonna Happpen".

I'm sure that there are other threads that are funnier, or crazy-flamier, or what have you, but I truly believe, for reasons stated by Grady above, as well as others, that it was ILX's finest moment. Magic.

some things are funnier for being funny at the time.

Objectively the best of these lot = probably the Danish cartoons one. That's the thread, alongside the Michael Jackson and Kraftwerk script ones, that I'd show to someone who's never read ILX to show what it can be capable of.

Oh, and the Pet Shop Boys thread as well. I miss awesome long thinkpiece type posts.

plz to stop being a cunt.

I'll let you know when I'm being a cunt.

Who the heck proposed my Flirtations thread? There's not much to get excited about there really.

As an example of the what old ilx may have been all about this thread The Miracle of the Smiths is pretty great. it's the finest example i've seen of the gentleman's pop music club vibe.

When ILE/Moderator board mods get shook, simply for the maracas.jpg punchline.

-- acrobat, Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:59 (Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:59)

OTMFM!!! Stevem bringing the eternal roffles!

ILX isn't about any one person. I'm only saying...

xxxpost - and all the times I've defended you, too...

Objectively the best of these lot = probably the Danish cartoons one. That's the thread, alongside the Michael Jackson and Kraftwerk script ones, that I'd show to someone who's never read ILX to show what it can be capable of.

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say about "So Not Gonna Happen". I think one could conceivably use it as part of missionary outreach efforts to seduce people over to ILX.

Oh, yes, I was reading that Smiths thread the other evening. That is indeed great stuff.

Yeah that Smiths one was good. Pinefox, Carmody and Hopkins together on one thread - a golden age.

That marissa one is painful. I'd denominate it but it's too late I guess.

My life's ambition is to find the thread where CJ gave Mark Sinker advice about exactly how high off the floor his new bed should be, so that he could comfortably read in bed, or something...

I only know that this thread exists because Mark mentioned it in the pub a few weeks ago.

although I think that's kind of a 'had to be there at the time' kind of thread.

Every. Thread. Ever.

Objectively the best of these lot = probably... (etc)

Do you know what the word "objective" means?

The thing is you read that thread and it seems almost unbelievable that these people are just posting on a messageboard. Single posts there have more content than some books that have been written about the band. I remember the first time I came across that thread having to look up so many different names that were just being thrown about. You can see my valiant attempt to revive the thread back in 2005 as well, when you read through a thread like that it's like; "wow i think i arrived at he party a bit late". well, for me it is.

xp

What happened to my David James Fanclub nomination?

Ok I will personally do all the A's.

-- svend (svend), Tuesday, August 2, 2005 12:18 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

...on the Marissa thread - just made me laugh out loud for the first time to-day. Thank you Svend.

that's not on the Mar thread though..?

I was hoping Beryl might get a mention, but I guess she's out of fashion now...

Do you know what the word "objective" means?

Do you know what the word "condescending" means?

xxxpost - and all the times I've defended you, too...

yeah ok but no more talk of traps

When ILE/Moderator board mods get shook, simply for the maracas.jpg punchline.

-- acrobat, Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:59 (Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:59)

It also has Marcello Charles Menenzes, "perhaps it is you that is shook", "What did I miss?", Akon, "Iris", Oswald Mosely... it's kind the pinnacle of the "lol britpop" crew's zing culture.

by process of elimination, shortlist:

The Pet Shop Boys' first twenty singles...
Photoshop/MS Paint Nike and other evil corporations ruining famous album covers
WOMEN: How many bras do you have?
so not gonna happen
I am a Werewolf
what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room
The Missionary Position
I don't think we have any discussion about the Danish Muhammad cartoons....

favourites not nominated:
tell me about ten year old you
apologising for boorish behaviour on ilx
trig brother 2003 results/photos (REMIX)

semi finals:
The Pet Shop Boys' first twenty singles...
Photoshop/MS Paint Nike and other evil corporations ruining famous album covers
so not gonna happen
what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

final:
Photoshop/MS Paint Nike and other evil corporations ruining famous album covers
what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

winner:
in the end the photoshop pen is mightier than the trucker hat guy's sword

tell me about ten year old you

Argh! Yes! I wanted to nominate that one but couldn't find it or even properly remember the thread title!

it's kind the pinnacle of the "lol britpop" crew's zing culture.

Four people voting for themselves, then?

Really? The Photoshop... one? I don't understand all the fuss; I think there are a bunch of other album cover threads that slay that one.

"lol britpop" crew's zing culture.
"lol britpop" crew's zing culture.
"lol britpop" crew's zing culture.
"lol britpop" crew's zing culture.
"lol britpop" crew's zing culture.

rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes
rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes
rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes
rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes
rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes
rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes

rolling balkanised thread for shut-in aspie rubes is the best thread ever, actually.

I think... eleven of these threads could be described that way?

My favourite moment on 'When ILE/Moderator board mods get shook' is Curtis' Chariots Of Fire jpg.

I'm going to take a while over deciding where my vote falls. For a start I'm going to have to read quite a few. The bookies' favourite is still "Liverpool Tickets Fiasco", however.

the hutter one is valuable for an early scenario-writing foray from tv's dog latin.

Yeah, why wasn't Dog Latin's sitcom nominated? Other than political correctness gone mad?

Do you know what the word "condescending" means?

no. :(

I think there are a bunch of other album cover threads that slay that one.

like what? the others aren't here so it's a representative thing too i guess

from a personal point of view i would've liked to see the 00-04 albums/singles poll threads here as it was so much fun co-ordinating and revealing the results, and set a precedent for other lists. and the extraordinary punchline of both the 'wrong' album and 'wrong' single winning and ILM realising it had created a 'not as cool as it thinks it is' monster and the monster was it.

whichever thread it was where Ronan ignited the DON'T TRY IT meme should've been here too

So many "moments" maybe deserve their own nomination/poll process.

Great threads as a whole are rarer.

uppers. although the thread should have been locked after nickalicious posted this image because it syncs up ridiculuosly well with uppers.wav and hasnt been topped since, imho.

I dance everything

that's not on the Mar thread though..?

-- Mark G, Thursday, September 13, 2007 10:05 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Well it is a Marissa thread in that it was started by her...

mark g otm.

ilx is a living tradition and the best moments come up often enough without the need for polling.

xpost well, it's not on the "Bela Fleck" thread.

True

"DON'T TRY IT STEVEM YOUR FACE WILL BE A MASHUP" = still the funniest line ever posted.

So which thread is it on? (sigh)

"DON'T TRY IT STEVEM YOUR FACE WILL BE A MASHUP" = still the funniest line ever posted.

No, the funniest line on that thread is "The only E you'll be going near is A&E"

Not enough love here for Matos' mother's incredibly stupid ex-husband. My most re-read thread by a long way.

Skipping 1 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

So pointless.

it's 2, now

3

So which thread is it on? (sigh)

-- Mark G, Thursday, September 13, 2007 10:46 AM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Oh, right, sorry!
abusive comments

Re-reading the Jam thread just now wins it my vote. Takes an amazing turn when we all realise it's about rent boys.

Solved: Why White Ppl are Assholes

Wins best opening post ever. The actual thread is kind of disappointing after all that.

x-post Yeah I voted for the Jam thread. I would like Paul Weller to read it.

i need to read the jam thread. never been aware of it until now.

actually, there's a few of these i'm totally unaware of. jesus. what delights await me?

you can thank me with your votes

you know, you're kinda convincing me, and i might use my OTHER LOGIN to do just that. couch thread, though ... i nearly broke my laptop laughing. (i'm a very puerile man.)

DOES ANYONE BELIEVE THE COUCH STORY TO BE REAL THO?

There are some elements which give me pause.

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/2/Posters/PO7017~I-Believe-Posters.jpg

who cares?

Hey Louis, the Bobby Gillespie Bullshit Game thread was nominated twice, butins't in the poll! it has hilarious impressions of Germans in it!

I haven't read most of these, but I can't believe they'd be as genius as "so not going to happen".... oh man, "in ever old movie" ever, I've been searching everywhere for that thread!!!!

Sorry, that was garbled, but you get the idea...

I CARE WHY BECAUSE IT LOOK INTERSTING

i have never doubted the couch

my favorites are so not gonna happen snorg girl and incredibly stupid step father but so not gonna happen wins and we really need a 1-10 type of weighted voting thingy for this - also ilnfl is generally ingenious and i would probably just vote for that bord altogether

for me, oink invites and uppers tie for second

Two threads I forgot to nominate which really should be on that list.

Taking sides:Madonna or Janet Jackson

Jay-Z /Nas hip-hop throw down? and other throw downs

Madonna/Jackson is actually up there on the ballot.

http://delivery.viewimages.com/xv/1512766.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19396908EAF14430D35200AB6A329EEE5A2201FA7A1454429C8

can you make us a 1-10 weighted voting type of poll plz

Madonna/Jackson is actually up there on the ballot, oh yes, I missed it. Now that makes my voting decision all the harder.

You really DID leave out "aw".

BOYCOTTING POLL

aw is shit

So you did a prejudging session?

i kinda like it really

<3

There's something kind of depressing about this thread, like watching a slide-show of my summer vacation.

i think i'm the only person in the world who finds neither the couch thread nor the "so not gonna happen" thread funny

so not gonna happen = 2 crepey altho gr80 sold it really well

ohhh shit another good one was mandee's 'guys in my area' thread

I don't really get so not gonna happen.

i just feel bad for the ppl in the so not gonna happen picture.

maybe this is a "it's funny if you identify with any of these characters" thing

I don't get this poll.

for me it was fun getting so into the minutiae of the room, analyzing everything etc. then while looking st on a microscopic level everything was revealed and it became just cosmic. the transition was so shocking i actually gasped when i saw the second photo. plus cyber-stalking is just kinda nerd thrillz.

Yeah, no one said it was "funny."

aw

<3

well it is kinda funny - wayne and all - but thats only part of it see.

I blogged about it:

There's something utterly fascinating about this ILX thread, which began with Emily posting a photo of three people sitting on a bed -- but with no information about it apart from her own caption "so not gonna happen." From then on, everyone almost instantly began dissecting it, and for hundreds of posts.

The ways in which people analyzed the photo differed, however. On one hand, you had those interested mostly in socio-psychological analysis based on the available clues in the photo: for instance, what are the motivations of the dude in the photo (quickly nicknamed "Wayne")? What does his dress and body language tell us about his goals in the scenario? Why are these girls hanging out with him? Etc. And then you had those of us who sought to expand upon that by gathering as much detailed, actual information as we could about the photo subjects and their environment. The fact that Wayne's Hooters t-shirt reads "King of Prussia, PA" at the bottom (look closely) is irrelevant to determining what sort of relationship he has with the sorority gals on the bed, but inasmuch as it broadens our knowledge base, the discovery of this detail is rather exciting.

When Emily revealed the source of the photo -- a photo gallery on the website of a young soldier deployed in Iraq -- some complained that this took the fun out of the game. But for the more investigative-minded posters, it only gave us more to work with. Full names led us to Myspace profiles, which enlarged the social circle beyond the partygoers pictured in the gallery. The comments there were revealing: a reference to "that shadeball Tommy Loftus" suggested Wayne's entire real name (we already knew the surname from the URL on some of the jpegs). And yet by the time I had worked out that Ashlee and Danielle and Jenna, who went to a different high school than most of the gang, must have met them at Delaware County Community College, I had to stop and ask myself what was really the point of all my amateur sleuthing.

Longtime readers of this blog might note shades of the Maya Keyes fiasco, at least in the initiative I took toward investigating and putting together a puzzle based on clues dropped around the Internet. (My friend Robyn joked that I should find some way to turn my obvious skill and talent in this area into a career -- like what, a private eye?) But in this case, there was no sense that I was on the front line of uncovering a political scandal; in fact, at one point, I remarked that the very banality of these kids' lives held a certain appeal to me. The pleasure, therefore, was related more to the thrill of fiction, at having a narrative unspool before you, a whole world opening up full of new people and places, all somehow connected. One of the things I like about an epic novel like DeLillo's Underworld is how you're introduced to a minor character like Eric Deming in the context of being a colleague of Nick Shay's, and then a couple hundred pages later you're treated to a prolonged account of his childhood. (You find the same thing in the improv-comedy form known as the Harold.) In this sense, the delight I took in tracing Andy's love of Pantera and friendship with a sandwich-maker named Glen (for instance) was like a great subplot spinning off from the main storyline, with boundless possibilities.

god you guys are kind of creeps

Love you, too, the schef (adam schefter ha ha).

There's something utterly fascinating about this ILX thread, which began with Emily posting a smiley of less than three resembling a heart -- but with no information about it apart from her own caption "aw" From then on, everyone almost instantly began reposting it, and for hundreds of posts.

The ways in which people analyzed the smiley differed, however. On one hand, you had those interested mostly in socio-psychological analysis based on the available clues in the thread: for instance, what are the motivations of the <3 in the photo (quickly nicknamed "less than 3")? What does the way the emoticon is repeated tell us about its goals in the scenario? Why is the title "aw"? Etc. And then you had those of us who sought to expand upon that by gathering as much detailed, actual information as we could about <3s and their environment. The fact that AaronHz's pm reads "Aw, aaron, we're not creepy <3" at the bottom (look closely) is irrelevant to determining what sort of relationship he has with the emoticons on the thread, but inasmuch as it broadens our knowledge base, the discovery of this detail is rather exciting.

When Emily revealed the source of the emoticon -- a conversation on the a chatroom of a young ilx0r deployed in london -- some complained that this took the fun out of the game. But for the more investigative-minded posters, it only gave us more to work with. Full names led us to facebook profiles, which enlarged the social circle beyond the partygoers pictured in 1P3. The comments there were revealing: a reference to "aw" suggested ken c's entire real name (we already knew the surname from the URL on some of the jpegs). And yet by the time I had worked out that Aaron and Jonathan and Ian, who went to a special needs school like most of the gang, must have met them at DT community college, I had to stop and ask myself what was really the point of all my amateur sleuthing.

Longtime readers of this blog might note shades of the Maya Keyes fiasco, at least in the initiative I took toward investigating and putting together a puzzle based on clues dropped around the Internet. (My friend Robyn joked that I should find some way to turn my obvious skill and talent in this area into a career -- like what, a private eye?) But in this case, there was no sense that I was on the front line of uncovering a political scandal; in fact, at one point, I remarked that the very banality of these kids' lives held a certain appeal to me. The pleasure, therefore, was related more to the thrill of fiction, at having a narrative unspool before you, a whole world opening up full of new people and places, all somehow connected. One of the things I like about an epic novel like DeLillo's Underworld is how you're introduced to a minor character like Eric Deming in the context of being a colleague of Nick Shay's, and then a couple hundred pages later you're treated to a prolonged account of his childhood. (You find the same thing in the improv-comedy form known as the Harold.) In this sense, the delight I took in tracing Andy's love of Pantera and friendship with a sandwich-maker named Glen (for instance) was like a great subplot spinning off from the main storyline, with boundless possibilities.

haha

ken is stuck at o'hare.

the kind of creeps thing is also part of what made it good too

Longtime readers of this blog might note shades of the Maya Keyes fiasco, at least in the initiative I took toward investigating and putting together a puzzle based on clues dropped around the Internet.

wait did you break the 'alan keyes has a gay anarchist daughter' story

he broke alan keyes has a gay anarchist daughter if you know what i mean

I didn't break it, but I contributed to its development.

It's not exactly a thread but I think honorable mention needs to go to the Jess/Ethan/Ronan Star Trek TNG AIM chat.

"make it beige"

Having read the So Not Gonna Happen thread now, I don't really get it or the couch thread either. The couch thread was funny at the time but people endlessly referencing it kinda made it the Star Wars Kid of threads.

lol sex

"vadge horror stories" is still funny.

I tuned out of "so not gonna happen" while it was going on but the phrase itself is golden.

Maybe they were most funny if you were reading/participating as they happened. I remember the So Not Gonna Happen thread being among the most entertaining couple of days I've spent on ILx.

Where's "shade-tipping"?

Because Shade Tippin is my favorite thread.

i am down with 'so not gonna happen' initally tho but maybe where it really takes off is where i jump off. i mean i think it's funny enough before all the actual detective work comes in.

im glad that thread and gear's thread are the only ones in receipt of scrutiny here, and they are the only two threads on the poll that i think are actually funny

Gear's couch & roommate 4eva. I'm kinda bummed that nobody nominated the "Rough Guide to..." group of threads on ILM. They're what hooked me on this place.

Well, no-one nominates Citizen Kane for best movie anymore, know what I mean?

knocked off the top by Anchorman

So Not Gonna Happen definitely made me want to look at ILX every couple of hours. The more creepy it got the better it got. I was expecting the soldier guy to drop in at any moment and start taking names. That's pretty much as dangerous as ILX gets and it was thrilling. Slightly. I also thought most people were sympathetic to Wayne. Or did I read it wrong?

POLL INVALIDATED BY SHAMEFUL LACK OF INCLUSION OF THIS IS AMAZING

we have all failed.

xxpost

Yeah, Wayne is the dood.

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You could have googleproofed that, you know...

Right, I'm going to read the Smiths thread. See yz later.

hang on, where is it? OK, I voted already, never mind.

OK, carry on with the HOW DID WE FORGET! type entries. 100 and descending, why not?

100. ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR PRESIDETN

i am proud to say

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

late breaking addition to the poll even though we're out of season

everything good about xmas is contained within this post:

the "tube station at midnight" thread :)

I totally printed out the entirety of the "not gonna happen" thread and read it on the bus going home last night.. then left it and the two pictures still available clipped to it on the bus for some other poor, curious soul to stumble upon.. bwahaha. I am in Toronto, though, not King of Prussia.. I do still want to find out more about "Wayne"!

printing out threads and leaving them somewhere for other people to read = v good as long as it's not 'wdyll in yr underwear'

the "tube station at midnight" thread :)

o crap

Threads look weird printed off - I remember Colette printing off the Roskilde recommendations thread so we could read it on the plane and looking at Ronan and DJ Martian posts on paper just felt a bit off.

LMAO no underwear, nope. I like to leave random lists and such that are compiled to influence random musical tastes.. I do agree, it's very weird to read it all printed off - it's just not right.

i want this shit on a blimp someday

The thing that's so amazing about UPPERS is that it's this huge, awesome, totally wild party where all your troubles are left behind. Bill cosby, anime princesses, Blanka from Street Fighter, Annie and her butler, toddlers, they're all there, all dancing to the same tune. It just works so well as a narrative, too. Halfway through the dudes from Requiem for a Dream are there, gettin’ high, supplying the drugs. As the thread progresses, the party just gets bigger. It's like this amazing paradise where all kinds of freaks, celebrities, and cartoon characters are all welcome, so long as they just get down and dance. A dude's doing yoga in sneakers and khakis, Bjork, J. Timberlake, and snorg girl even show up, albeit fashionably late. Plus there's this really dark part in the middle when Hurricane Katrina steps in, but she's still welcome there and the party continues. I've only been around ILX for a few months, so I wasn't there when it happened but it's still fun to scroll down and see who else is gonna show up. Amazing!

Which is the post everyone calls UPPERS?

it's the one on the poll list right before "so not gonna happen"

may as well post a link:

UPPERS

Thanks so much! Too bad I can't print out the music ;)

btw it is the finest piece of internet art i've ever witnessed

I already forget what I've voted for, but I hope it was "Britney can i get your sister jame spears Email" because it's my favourite right now why because it look intersting

^^^^ sorry about that, before the joke i am serious though

What the... Surely that's the wrong 10-year-olds thread.

Yeah, Tell me about 10-year-old you is better.

I want uppers.wav song.

https://www.beatport.com/deeplink/335ce1c5f548075d281ab027471203f6b59fe542d89cbac94482bde169ac57523e0d72e6ae9486d24d31e532f6e9c734275fc1988f356245e879aa681d47836fa94d07a868f41599

We also forgot:
The simple joy of stupid spam names

Wow thx Grady!

rice pudding -vs- bread pudding - vs- tapioca pudding -vs- chocolate pudding -vs- flan
Remember the passion!

i think that's true of a lot of them. this thread and the noms one depresses me. it's a bit like doing 'best conversation ever' or something. i don't really read old threads, except for stuff to zing people with.

oteffingm - there's a really unfortunate "gosh, remember that funny time" vibe that feels related to "ahh the great music we listened to in our youth" or whatever

on the other hand, without this thread I wouldn't have seen the uppers one and that thing is awesome

The thing that's so amazing about UPPERS is that it's this huge, awesome, totally wild party where all your troubles are left behind. Bill cosby, anime princesses, Blanka from Street Fighter, Annie and her butler, toddlers, they're all there, all dancing to the same tune. It just works so well as a narrative, too. Halfway through the dudes from Requiem for a Dream are there, gettin’ high, supplying the drugs. As the thread progresses, the party just gets bigger. It's like this amazing paradise where all kinds of freaks, celebrities, and cartoon characters are all welcome, so long as they just get down and dance. A dude's doing yoga in sneakers and khakis, Bjork, J. Timberlake, and snorg girl even show up, albeit fashionably late. Plus there's this really dark part in the middle when Hurricane Katrina steps in, but she's still welcome there and the party continues. I've only been around ILX for a few months, so I wasn't there when it happened but it's still fun to scroll down and see who else is gonna show up. Amazing!

-- Mark Clemente

Fantastic description of what makes that thread so great.

My favorite thread is dental floss.

My favorite thread is the one my sanity is hanging on by.

AWWW!HHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

A Thread about the film JFK, just edging homoerotic sports imagery and so not gonna happen.

Oh shoot. I didn't see the Madonna vs. Janet thread in the nominees.

"Don't call me a braud, you son of a fucking whore."

more pingggg

also one of my fav. threads I should have thought of:

Laura's Critters

Lazy Zings Catalog

seconded

i didn't laugh ONCE

best, not funniest

it's a classic in the making

it's not!

It's three people in a hall of mirrors!

maybe you'd prefer yesterday's American segement, then

dunno, but I suspect neither are 'classic'

Hey, it's holiday season, so whatever really.

The silly season

Back to school/uni

this poll STINKS

this poll STINKS

-- roxymuzak, Thursday, September 20, 2007 2:37 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

this poll STINKS

-- roxymuzak, Thursday, September 20, 2007 2:37 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, September 20, 2007 2:41 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

LAZY ZINGS- no denying

i'm voting for either "favorite uni" or "my little sister got a new". maybe "ralf hutter's blind d"

Let's bitch about ou

TYRA.GIF

HI DERE OTM

My life's ambition is to find the thread where CJ gave Mark Sinker advice about exactly how high off the floor his new bed should be, so that he could comfortably read in bed, or something...

Is it the recently revived an entertaining consumer enquiry about BEDS?

this is still not over?

u _____ u

the suspense is reaching a fever pitch.

no it is not

no, we want it to be over so we can make fun of the winner and further discount the poll.

/sarcasm
god damn.

welcome to reality, bub

lazy zings is a generational high.

.. i got no mind to worry-ah!

TWELVE DAYS LEFT

http://contentcafe.btol.com/Jacket/Jacket.aspx?SysID=digital&CustID=bt0113&Key=039414520675&Type=L&Return=1

it is not whether a man fails that defines him, it is how he responds to that failure

you don't wanna fuck with Jagger when he's tryna make a list

-- That mong guy that's shit, Thursday, 13 September 2007 10:45 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

ONLY NINE DAYS LEFT TO MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD

RUN DONT WALK

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~peter/workhouse/lit/FiveDaysCover.gif

http://www.surfrider.org/surfriderblog/Admin/ImageGallery/Surfrider%20Foundation/SurfriderFoundation/Kamenitsa%20plane%20crash.jpg

"BEST THREAD ON ILX: Part TWO - The Poll" is now seeking experienced street team members. We need the last week of this poll to pop, to be out there and in your face. Interested parties should submit their resumes to our official contact point. ROCK THE POLL!

stfu it was nominated and then seconded, once again you've referred to my non-existent 'trap', plz to stop being a cunt. fyi i don't want it to win either.

-- Just got offed, Thursday, 13 September 2007 09:07 (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven

it took a while, but in the end this one lived up to the showboating title.

It's the thread that had to be made, really.

Om nom nom nom!

Best best thread on ilx poll poll

i think i tried that. didn't go well.

ooohh uppers has some new stuff added to it!!!

crucified jesus is dancing!!!!

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

so soon?

given the events of this last week i want to change my vote

I remember the nomination thread being much more exciting than the actual list of nominees would suggest. Amazing how many of my favorites didn't merit a seconding - in particular "Picking up this waitress" which is ultimately my favorite I think.

^^^gr8 thread

i wish i'd nominated the pseudo echo thread

I still like the sudden randomness of i kill you with guns

i am baffled by my posts on that thread

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

this winning result is the correct one

OTM

#2 IS CORRECT ALSO

¯\(°_o)/¯

i would have preferred the lindsay lohan thread

i would have pref'd #2

but i can roll with this

which #2?

134 votes and the winner gets < 10% of them.

uppers was robbed.

posts getting eaten?

abusive comments with the goose egg

fitting that Flush this question out almost managed to fall off the bottom of the poll.

"i would have preferred lindz lohan thread"

gear you are just jealous!

I now support this poll.

congratz roxy!! xoxoxo

I never got round to voting in this poll, because it crashed before I'd made my decision. Liverpool Tickets Fiasco henceforth has two votes.

no roxz i would have preferred my LL thread to place #2 lol

man no UPPERS?!?!?!?! wtf

ban louis jagger

UPPERS came in third (or fifth, dep how you look at it). The name just didn't autolink, so it's the http:www.ilxor.com/blahblahblah one.

no roxz i would have preferred my LL thread to place #2 lol

o, i feel you

i am happy that this thread has confirmed you and i as official champions of ilx btw

xpost, yea i know, i was just disappointed that it didn't win

Reading roxy's thread in real time has proved to be my A#1 ultimate ilx experience thus far.

KUDOS

;)

I think it's nice So Not Gonna Happen won, because more than many other nominees it was really a collective effort, with ILXors from different corners of the world working to solve the mystery and experiencing things together in real time.

much like the luna thread.

Well, yeah, but I think it's quite obvious why that wasn't the "best" thread ever. It's not just the collective experience rather than the quality of it.

I think it's quite obvious why that wasn't the "best" thread ever

it happened after this poll was made?

nah j/k i wouldn't have voted for it. far too nasty.

for me it's between that and lazy zings.

lazy zings turned into the most amazing flame-out, just like it was always going to. n/a set a new record for quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood. luna thread was similarly ridiculous, but also kinda shitty.

quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood
quantity of silicon in a single vulva, zings were flying like locusts, all was good in the hood

This poll kinda worked! Against the odds.

Well done all!

Needs "So Not Gonna Happen" vs New Burial album. More info? playoff poll.

dom, what the hell is going on in that thread, that it is so long?

All human life is there.

pipecock

ILXors on Parade: In The Mainstream

only 1 funny post there

IT'S NOT FUNNIEST THREAD EVER IT'S BEST THREAD EVER

God, learn to READ

"The fine art of zinging" indeed.

King Boy Pato: more Scott Carson than Frank Carson

as if there's a diff between funny and best here

King Boy Pato: more Scott Carson than Frank Carson

Sorry, don't understand this, both are funny?

Does anyone else imagine Dom's posts read in the voice of the guy from Napoleon Dynamite?

No.

"IT'S NOT FUNNIEST THREAD EVER IT'S BEST THREAD EVER

God, learn to READ"

welcome back blount!

hmm, there are many posters who i read in 'napoleon dynamite' post, but not dom.

Dom's voice is disappointingly bland in real life. Not the heady mix of Alan Moore and Super Mario I had been hoping for.

Does he sound like Alan Davies?

sounds like ned raggett.

those who heard the stylus podcast ought to know what dom sounds liek

This is how I sound IRL:

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&hs=DkQ&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=trapattoni&spell=1

so you sound like DJ Martian

surely comic book guy from The Simpsons.....

Oh come on, that could be any of us.

no, i famoushly shound like martin jol

I read Dom's post in the voice of Chaki.

those who heard the stylus podcast ought to know what dom sounds liek

-- Just got offed, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 14:31 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/images/articles/Untitled.mp3

wow that site is still up?

I just listened and was half-expecting the Bluetones track to be cut off partway through by the sound of a stylus scraping against the vinyl, and then Dom to come in saying, "LAWL, Britpop!"

lol jaymc i sound like my big fat obnoxious fiance.

Dom is more Midlands than I envisaged

people who don't sound like chaki

LOL @ podcast's initial hesitant steps into now well-oiled NFL mocking. "Quarterbacker" indeed...although points for "Chip Linebacker".

i have to admit, if i have any one thing to be proud of amongst many embarrassing moments in lix-istory, it's introducing marrisa's bela fleck stalking to discussion

not sure i can remember which identity i did it under though

there are some epic old-ILX (2001–3?) threads that seem to have been left off of this poll.

Does NED RAGGETT smoke weed?

^^ underrated

there are some epic old-ILX (2001–3?) threads that seem to have been left off of this poll.

History is written by the victors

arshavin thread prob pwns these now

Well, we could repoll it - this time more as a top 100 kinda deal. Every thread that makes it is posted in its entirety into the poll thread. What do you say?

ha

One nomination for Can we be shown weirdos + Mike Love?

timely revive of society is in the gutter- only ILX thread i have ever c&p'd to word to read later.

society is in the gutter is sensational

trying to work out which other threads since this one might qualify - certainly arshavin.jpg and evil guide dog but what else

The President Shot in Texas thread was gold. Can't remember the name of it though.

oh, and the one about moving into a redneck neighbourhood

it was President JFK Injured In Dallas? iirc

YES KKVGZ'S REDNECK THREAD - all-timer that one

President Kennedy Injured in Dallas?

redneck thread is best thread hijack ever i think.

That guerrilla .gif in the Ban l0u1s jagg3r thread makes a powerful case for BBcode. img src="http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/862/louisjaggerqf0.gif"; style="position: fixed; top: 30px; right: 5%" indeed.

blimey, we had polls on ilx 2 years ago ?

feels like yesterday, ah

3 years ago next month!

poll obviously should have been a tournament

all the zingy threads would be voted down unfairly, nah we don't need to add competitive layers to this already charged situation imo