oreo pizza: WTF

Needs pictures.

I don't know what it is but I want one now.

the ad makes me NEVER WANT TO EAT AGAIN. ugh ugh ugh.

Needs clarification:

oreos as a topping for pizza?

oreos as a crust for pizza?

here's one of the ads: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkEc67m_jvM

clarification:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkEc67m_jvM

xpost

The oreo *is* the pizza.

anyone who "needs pictures" to decided whether or not to eat OREO PIZZA needs to check and make sure they still have taste buds

WTF

no ad: http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2007/09/dominos-oreo-dessert-pizza.html

It looks like a pile of Oreos covered in jizz.

what the fuck. it deserves the full expression of the phrase.

I bet it's huge in Japan.

Annabeth Gish ... Kat Arujo
Julia Roberts ... Daisy Arujo
Lili Taylor ... Jojo
Oreo ... Pizza
Vincent D'Onofrio ... Bill (as Vincent Phillip D'Onofrio)
William R. Moses ... Tim Travers

It looks like a pile of Oreos covered in jizz.

it sure does, this should be a poll option

the link i posted is actually kind of amusing b/c it's office mates who ordered it just to try the monstrosity.

maybe that's why it's so fucking nauseating. xp

"That commercial makes it look like c*m-drizzled oreos"

I was gonna say that!!!!!

The crushed-up-Oreos part seems like a fine idea, but I can practically taste exactly what kind of cheap-ass fluffed-syrup cream-junk they're pouring on top, and it's not pleasant.

but I can practically taste exactly what kind of cheap-ass fluffed-syrup cream-junk they're pouring on top

"jizz"

It's the same kind of crap that would come on top of a 75-cent vending-machine cinnamon bun.

Yeah, do not want.

(Nabisco, I am not suggesting you know what jizz tastes like, BTW)

oh god no

If it were actual jizz on Oreos, at least some people would stand a chance of genuinely enjoying it.

You guys can act all grossed out, but if you listen to your hearts you will have to vote "i would eat all this oreo pizza."

Be honest with yourselves for once in your lives.

Like if it was just sitting there, you know you would try it.

if i got drunk enough i would eat the shit out of that pizza

You know. It's OREOS.

(all while saying in my mind: WTF WTF WTF)

We tried it, it was shit. The white stuff is more like marshmallow cream than oreo filling (not that it would have been any better if it was oreo filling).

you guys are so full of shit

max otm

wait how am I missing out on a thread with this much jizz on it? I'm totally distracted today.

hands-free oreo pizza topping.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ejaculation

how many threads can that link wreck in one day

it's a perfectly natural thing, dan. Don't be ashamed.

I prefer to think of that link as the beginning of new threads. The seed, if you will.

That oreo shit is disgusting. And being drunk makes me want steak and curry and protein, never ever ever sweets. Oh god sugar on top of booze soooo bad.

I can't youtube here at work, and haven't watched tv show with commercials in weeks, but I'll bet a dollar that I could never get stoned munchies enough to eat what you guys are describing.

OREOS are like 1950s food that hung around cuz people got used to eating them and of course, dunking them in stupid milk.

TS: twinkie filling vs. oreo filling

<i>It looks like a pile of Oreos covered in jizz.</I.

I read this as "it looks like a pile of Oreos covered in jazz".

Hydrox Pizza

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/oreo.png

In theory this Oreo(TM) pizza sounds like the greatest thing ever, but the pictures of the actual product are REVOLTING.

I prefer the CHOCO TACO.

Which is actually delicious.

actually

Okay, I was ready for the covered in jizz look. I was not ready for the pile of turds look.

http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/chocotaco-737227.jpg

I remain unconvinced.

this thing is so fucking tailored to fat lazy burnout americans: not only does the product look disgusting, it's actually made from the exact ingredients that every dopehead has in his/her kitchen cabinet to stave off the occasional munchie-bout.

Okay, I was ready for the covered in jizz look. I was not ready for the pile of turds look.

turds aren't that black! and jizz isn't that opaque. I mean, unless you've eaten nothing but yogurt and goat cheese for a month or something.

it still looks pretty damn bad, tho.

ok i would like to retract that last post.

choco tocos are great. though my favorite junk food is the

http://www.dysphunktion.com/images/mini_slush.jpg

It's like a circle of black--n-white cartoon vomit.

it looks like something i had to kill in metroid

^otm!

It took me entirely too long to figure out the Choco Taco photo. Something about the grain of the wood made me lose my perspective and so I thought I was looking at a beat-up sofa at first.

How can you be unconvinced by the freaking CHOCOTACO? There is more or less no cheap frozen thingie more delicious than that.*

* Except for the cookie bits in Twix ice cream and that one Oreo cookie sandwich that tastes really graham-y.

It's actually a regular pizza they left in the oven overnight with white-out slathered all over it.

Pardon me, Twix ice cream BARS.

chakitaco

No offense to the choco taco, but when the ice cream cart comes around I'm a sucker for these:

http://www.jumpinjesters.com/Ice%20Cream%20Pictures/GH%20Premium%20Cookie%20Sandwich.bmp

oh i LOVE those. jordan otm.

I don't think the Choco Taco would be too offended by that, Jordan.

I don't know man, the choco taco is loco.

"I'm having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich."

you are all a pile of crazy. The government uses these desserts to poison our minds.

oreo pizza uses nanotechnology to plant smart nanobots in you that record your every movement and word, and all the information is transmitted directly to the CIA using AT&T.

http://www.avclub.com/content/files/images/Tolerability-4337-web.jpg

Its It > Chipwich

(Bourdain) continues his reputation of eating the world’s most dangerous foods in a visit to Zubal book store, in a former Hostess Twinkie factory. As the tap for the pastry’s filling is reopened and the aging contents drip down, Bourdain tastes it and pronounces it delicious.

I cannot find my legendary chocotaco post. ;_;

"Use a spoon to drizzle the jizz over the face cookies. Use as much as desired."

I don't understand why pizza places are always so disgusting and transparent about making fake desserts. If they want to deliver desserts, they should deliver actual desserts -- you know, stock some giant cookies or something, run them through the oven for a minute, Fresh Warm Cookies. Instead, they either (a) offer you something that's clearly just repurposed pizza shit, like "frosted cinnamon sticks" that are transparently just pizze dough, or worse, (b) they think their desserts somehow have to be pizza-themed and pizza-shaped, like a "dessert pizza." This is totally batshit: when I'm ready to order dessert at an Italian restaurant, they don't offer me chocolate linguini with hazelnut meatballs or whatever, and this is fine by everyone involved.

So it feels like for years and years chain delivery pizza places have been trying to make a dessert work, and none of them EVER seem to work or last -- (but then why do they keep doing it? just to pique your interest now and then? or do people just grumble and take it, because if you're eating crap pizza you should at least get rewarded with some sugar?) -- and even at the point of lowest-possible-standards, like 99% of anyone I know would never dream of getting a crap dessert from a pizza chain.

"Yes, I'd like a pepperoni pizza and a key lime pie, please."

CHIPWICH THE BEST.

srsly tho.. nabisco for president.

I mean, hell, it's a crap pizza-delivery corp. -- they should just make a deal to carry a bunch of candy bars or Little Debbie's pies or something. That's the kind of dessert that goes with a Domino's slice, surely?

of domino's! (xp)

could we work some activist shareholder thing here?

There's at least one local chain that offers pints of ice cream for delivery. They make good pies, too.

Oh god sugar on top of booze soooo bad.

OTM

Do Not Want

Haha I should know, I only drank gimlets for years. xp

Sugar on booze hastens (per Evelyn Waugh)

that secondary stage, vividly described in temperance hand-books, when the momentary illusion of well-being and exhilaration gives place to melancholy, indigestion and moral decay.

and even at the point of lowest-possible-standards, like 99% of anyone I know would never dream of getting a crap dessert from a pizza chain.

i am part of that 1%

Grease on booze hastens a blissful, dare I say Hasselhoffian disregard for decorum.

okay, I would still totally try this and "oreo pizza" remains a beautiful phrase to my ears, but nabisco is right about dessert pizza being a terrible idea.

gimlets otm, though

xpost oh me too, max

*GAG*

This was invented in a dorm room. There is no other explanation.

This is one of the most intelligent collections of observations and ideas about a single item I have ever been witness to.

That, and the Choco Taco is the finest novelty ice cream item EVER.

Followed closely by the Nutty Buddy.

GUYS why are you comparing choco tacos to Icees/Slurpees and ice cream sandwiches? The point is desserts that are disguised as dinner items, like oreo pizza. Ice cream sandwiches kind of count I guess.

It's all counts for being disguised as food.

so good:
http://www.partyexpress.safeorders.net/images/Oreo_CCsnd.jpg

I tried one bite of that thing & threw it away.

that oreo ice cream thing NOT the oreo pizza.

http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~skrueger/splooge.gif

Choco Taco = chocolate version of Mexican dinner favorite.

Huh. Now that you put it that way, I can kinda see what they were going for.

i hate those desserts that look like other things. they wig me out, i.e. KITTY LITTER CAKE

http://www.unc.edu/~sstaff/images/clitter.jpg

it tasted like cardboard! and the ice cream was crap! what?!

I would totally eat the kitty litter cake!

okay that is disgusting

Since I can't find it to copy/paste, I will restate:

"If the vagina is known as the 'taco', does that mean the ass is the 'choco taco'?"

wtf @ kitty litter cake

"If the vagina is known as the 'taco', does that mean the ass is the 'choco taco'?"

POLL

(Ireallyhatemy)Kidskuisine.com

I found photos of moose turd cookies:

http://david.bembidion.org/recipes/pictures/mooseturd.jpg

PUPPY CHOW. (Not as gross as the kitty litter, I swear.)

Here's someone else's kitty litter cake with the flair of two different shades of poo:

http://www.mikeschuster.com/CatShitCookies2.jpg

"If the vagina is known as the 'taco', does that mean the ass is the 'choco taco'?"

No. The ass is known as "Butt Pie."

wtf is wrong with people?

puppy chow is good though. I always called it "muddy buddies"

I'm completely enchanted with the kitty litter cake.

wtf with the cat in the middle, ugh

I'm completely enchanted with the kitty litter cake.

-- sweet tater, Thursday, September 13, 2007 9:30 PM (21 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

LOL, you are a young boy, aged 8-12

You should make one, Kelsey!

I am turning 30 this year!

As is my best friend . . . I think she'd kill me if I made that for her though!

And, I would totally have to go the "two shades of poop" route instead of the tootsie roll poop route.

Ha, Chaki, YES, that is the Oreo sandwich I was talking about! The Oreos in that have somehow exaggerated the sort of grahamy / oaty taste that's so submerged in regular Oreos. Extremely good.

The beauty of the ChocoTaco is that it's taken a classy ice-cream treat -- a waffle bowl filled with ice cream and topped with chocolate -- and folded it up into a self-contained imitation Mexican food. It's the best thing since the GelatoEnchilada.

The FroYoBurro

Actually every other "dessert version of Mexican food" I can imagine just winds up looking like a cannoli.

Waffledillas

Push-Pop Tamales

OTOH: fried ice cream

http://www.christianziebarth.com/images/eltorito3.jpg

I want a sopapilla SO BAD right now

erotic flan

there's a salvadorean place down the street that makes 'em with buñuelo batter, i think imma have to go after this thread

remy have you ever been to ALEGRIA in silver lake?

they do a chocolate chimichanga--almond hershey's bar wrapped in a tortilla, deep fried and covered with chocolate syrup & hand-whipped cream

SOOO GOOD

^^^^
WANT

Relating a bit to what nabisco said upthread, I feel "wtf" about chain pizza places' food offerings in general. When I was a kid, I remember Pizza Hut ended up having three varieties of pizza at one point, and that seemed like a big deal at the time. (original pan, thin & crispy, and, uh, "hand-tossed"). Thing is, they were all pretty decent.

But, somewhere along the way, Pizza Hut and Domino's started introducing a different variety seemingly every few months, and each time it was as if they were trying to up the ante on the disgusting factor. At this point I think they are up to quadruple stuffed-crust cheese 'n' buffalo wings meat lover's dipping nugggets, or something like that. It does seem to really be heading in the direction of Japanese-style "pizza". I'm half-expecting next month's offering to include chopped-up frankfurters and mayo on top of a tuna, bacon, and cheese-whiz-stuffed cinnamon-tortilla crust.

i haven't, max -- but i've heard about it a lot. maybe i'll check it out this weekend?

stuffed crust is not by itself something I have any negative feelings about.

Yeah but why can't they stuff the crust with just regular pizza cheese? Why this cream-cheese-textured abomination? I mean, don't get me wrong--more cheese on a pizza is A++, but does it have to be that shit?

"hazlenut meatballs"

remy whenever you go make sure u get the dessert

guys this looks delicious

I think the issue is that pizza chains are working with materials that aren't even 10% as sophisticated as a Taco Bell: they just have endless freezer/vat supplies of dough/sauce/cheese and a few vacuum bags of toppings, and then they run them through a conveyor-belt oven. Anything else they want to serve you has to be crappy enough to fit into a system with no real kitchen and no real ingredients -- it pretty much has to come straight out of a bag. Half the time it doesn't even come out, and you get a sealed plastic packet at home. These people just aren't in any position to pretend to be able to make anything other than cheap pizza.

Now, see, a McDonald's, at least they've got a deep-fryer, and a bunch of microwaves, and stuff! They've got the tools to actually pretend to do stuff, now and then!

this thread otm what hath man wrought! can't wait til pizza technology achieves sentience and forcefeeds us all the cheese jizz enemas we so clearly desire. dassa spicy meatball! LOL

Yeah but why can't they stuff the crust with just regular pizza cheese?

otm x 1000

the stuffing is the problem. stop being gross

Is the stuffing supposed to be ricotta-ish?

Yeah, sort of, except it's obviously not ricotta--it's like they took a fast food approach (make everything greasier, tastier) to making something that's a bit of classier and ended up in no man's land.

I like what you were thinking, Pizza Hut; I too have dreamt about having melted cheese ooze out of everything into which I bite. But it can't be just any melted cheese, oh no. IF YOU'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING, DO IT RIGHT.

should read: "it's like they took a fast food approach (make everything greasier, tastier) to imitating something that's a bit classier"

OLIVE GARDEN TAKE NOTE

Oreos are terrible already, on a pizza with that goo they look frightening.

Its funny though, an old pizza restaurant from my hometown thats been around since the early 70s used to have a dessert pizza on its menu. It was a thin crust and it had cream cheese, sultanas and cinammon/icing sugar. Kind of morroccan or something I guess.

I never tried one though.

i misspoke, the act of stuffing things into the crawlspaces of the pizza is the problem. do people not know they can buy cheese all by itself, in big solid blocks? totally legal, have at it! let poor pizza hut concentrate on getting actual pizza right.

Just out of curiosity, how unpalatable is Olive Garden's food? The worst restaurant of that ilk that I've ever eaten at was Applebee's.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Olive Garden is perfectly fine. So is Applebee's, really, if they don't screw anything up.

I just got xposted by a MACHINE

Also, am I totally off in remembering Pizza Hut's food as being pretty good up through, say, the early '90's? I have a feeling that they took a serious dive south in the last dozen years or so. But maybe a distorted memory plus my then-youthful and inexperienced young palate make for a loss of credibility points in asserting this to be the case.

BAN TREMENDOID

Well, I've had one meal in my life at Applebee's and it was pretty wretched, and basically seemed like the kind of thing that couldn't be screwed up (it was fish and chips-- so I assume that it's the kind of thing that they just dig out of the vacuum-sealed bag and throw into a fryer...

xxp The beginning of the end was that huge 'monster' pizza they started selling, the cheese on that was inedible. I don't think they went wholesale to that type of cheese(they wouldn't still be in business) but a bunch of changes were made to the cheese and consistency of the pizzas, to the point that now their default pizza is all sloppy like a hot pocket turned inside out. not my thing.

I think, also, that they stopped putting beer in the cheese.

then-youthful and inexperienced young palate

durr. Hunger-induced tautology.

Thanks, tremedoid. That would make sense; the lower-quality cheese thing and probably adjustments to the crust recipe and stuff. I had a couple of slices at a friend's place earlier in the year, and it was not what I remembered it once being.

Hot pocket turned inside-out, ack!

I can't help but wonder what GARU G would have to say about the "kitty litter cake" pic upthread.

hmm.

http://inlinethumb54.webshots.com/17909/2126521250068014149S425x425Q85.jpg

http://i3.tinypic.com/525t4i0.jpg

^^ scene from Domino's test kitchen

lol looks like a still from Cronenberg's Shivers

i love oreos and oreo flavored things but this is just nasty

http://www.cookiemadness.net/ddloreos%20007.jpg

^^^^^ ¿Dondé comprar?

I'd hit it.

cakesters: y or n?

It can't be that bad.

ok this half-assed oreo pizza thing is gross and dumb but srsly - people don't like oreos??? i haven't had any in years (!) so maybe it's a childhood nostalgia thing but oreos are good! oh but also i remember american friends/aquaintances always saying that canadian oreos were like 345234 times better than american oreos. i don't think i've ever tried american oreos. wld do this taste test though.

siding with american, however, i do want to try a chocotaco one of these days and i don't think they exist here. oreo ice cream and ice cream sandwiches do though, and they are goood.

oreo milkshakes or oreos in ice cream are good

chocotacos are down by law, u have to get them with the shells properly stale and chewy = delight. oreos are alright i guess, i don't bother with them.

God the ad for this stuff is so fucking disgusting. Sorry I'm late to the party.

taco bell should come out with a rasberry chalupa! i don't even like rasberry anything but it rolls off the tongue really well.
it's spelled 'raspberry'?!

oreos are great, rrobyn!

the shells properly stale and chewy

I had never previously realized how absolutely key and true this is! Once these things have been sitting around for a while ... it's like the shells have been infused with butterscotch.

b/c of ilx:
1. i have watched all of 'sex and the city' and
2. now all i want are oreos and chocotacos
effing bastards

Mmmmmm, petrified dung.

http://snacks.cyberpunks.org/chocotaco.html

so i bought oreos for the first time in like 10 years (?) and liked the first two enough to eat two more and then the weird chemical after-taste hit me but then i ate two more anyway just to make sure and then i felt really GROSS
i didn't know what to do so i just drank some decaf chai and waited for the ill to pass
ugh
this was hours ago and i still feel weird

i am watching terminator 3

whoa my god lemme get those dulce de leche oreos

Are there healthy / vegan oreos that are any good?

THOSE DULCE DE LECHE OREOS ARE HEAVEN

AND VEGAN OREOS ARE AN ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF OUR LORD

for my birthday this year i'm going to make a pizza topped with tacos and sushi

http://fasthugs.typepad.com/blog/images/2007/09/18/cakesters_3.gif

HMM

Baby I'm just a Cakester for your love.

i think the oreos gave me a glucose hangover

all i want to eat today is salad, fruit, yogurt and green tea
purification ritual in face of false food

This is how I feel after not being hungry and then going out for chicken wings, potato dinguses (dingii) w/cheese, and Stellas last night.

(nb I am not actually eating salad and yogurt, duh)

I'm pretty sure you were lied to, Jordan. Potatoes don't have dinguses any more than chickens have fingers.

There was totally an online video where a kid was showing how to make the pizza using domino's official recipe book, and he keeps saying "this is probably really illegal"-- what happened to this? did anyone else see it? i see no link in this thread...

Why in God's name would you want that

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3h9viEpap8&NR=1

I actually like both Oreos and shitty delivery pizza - although I tend to prefer either really cheap, really shitty local pizzeria or expensive-and-still-headache-inducing-but-so-so-good Pizza Hut. No MOR Dominos or Pizza Hut for me! But the Oreo Pizza is completely revolting as a concept. Probably sort of tolerable as junk food - but looking at it and comprehending the idea of eating a whole one is insane. The ads should really play up more of a party scenario - like eight people ordering three pizzas and hey, we'll split one of those dessert pizzas too. When it's just a couple dudes and they have one pizza and one Oreo pizza it makes you have to imagine eating half of one of those things....oooogh.

Nabisco (the ILXor, not the oreo manufacturer) and Tremendoid do make some interesting points here. Is there a website or book or something that charts the evolution of the high-concept pizza promotion? I have a vague sense of this starting sometime in the mid-to-late-90s and basically becoming an annual thing ever since, with Pizza Hut definitely taking the lead on stupid gimmick pizzas - stuffed crust, sure, but the Quad, the P'Zone, surely others that I forget...

This is all making me really want some Little Caesar's Crazy Bread though.

Is there a website or book or something that charts the evolution of the high-concept pizza promotion?

No website, but there was at least one best-selling book, as well as an NBC miniseries a couple of years ago, which was based on the book. I can't for the life of me remember the name of it, now, but I'm sure someone else here can dig it up.

"The Stuffed Crust Monologues" made the rounds of a bunch of university towns a few years back, as well. It threatened to give the "Puppetry of the Penis" guys a run for their money.

yeah, i skipped it because i didn't want to pay $50 a ticket for 3 hours of dudes playing with their pepperonis

i still cannot believe, after all these years, that hydrox is the name of a cookie

it was originally an experimental truth serum developed by the CIA

I'm drinking a vegan Hydroxycontin milkshake right now.

i don't know what to believe anymore

Is there a website or book or something that charts the evolution of the high-concept pizza promotion?

No website, but there was at least one best-selling book, as well as an NBC miniseries a couple of years ago, which was based on the book. I can't for the life of me remember the name of it, now, but I'm sure someone else here can dig it up.

― dell, Wednesday, September 19, 2007 8:09 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I suspect dell is pulling my leg here but I still would totally read such a book if someone would write it.

Not sure if this is a documentary per se, but it's pretty good:

http://videopizza.biz/

hahaha wow.

is it normal that oreo pizza makes me feel scared?

because i feel scared.