READING + WALKING

crazy peoples: Reading while walking

that's how my husband's uncle got through university. actually i think he hopped around the table.

Agreed. What's wrong with those people?!

SOMETHING

xpost Agreed? You don't know fucking know my husband's uncle!

i can do this

anyone can do this que, only insane people do tho.

I get bored walking.

i do this sometimes. I R INSANE

I used to do this on my previous commute. I'd read on the bus, then continue reading for the 15 minute walk to the office. That was a walk through a boring suburban area though, so there was no traffic or anything else to look out for.

3/4 of people I see doing this look like they are full of shit.

QUE, OYSTEIN: INSANE.

Anyone who doesn't/can't do this is a non-multitasking pussy.

Jhoshea, if you're going to steal my Ø, you'd better be more respectful, son!

DAN: INSANE.

jhoshea: NON MULTITASKING PUSSY

^^^ qft

WHAT IS THAT I HEAR? THE JABBERING OF THE MENTALLY UNWELL? HOW SAD INDEED!

I do this sometimes, too. What can you do when it's your bus stop but you're not at a stopping point in the book? There is NO OTHER OPTION.

KENAN, DOM: INSANE.

I mean, I can't imagine anyone setting out to walk somewhere and bringing along a book specifically for the purpose of reading + walking. That would be a little insane, yes.

I SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON THE DELIGHT VISUAL IMAGERY OF KILBURN HIGH ROAD WHEN I'M WALKING, YES?

THAT IS AN INTERESTING CLOSED KEBAB SHOP. THAT IS A FASCINATING MOBILE PHONE REPAIR STORE. AREN'T I GLAD I'M LOOKING AT THESE WONDERFUL IMAGES RATHER THAN EXPANDING MY MIND WITH A BOOK.

kenan any point in a book is in fact a suitable stopping point. you can get through this buddy. there is a wellness-light at the end of this batshit-tunnel.

POSTING ON ILX + WALKING
Dom can has scaring me

dom dont worry someday you will look back on your comments here and chuckle to yourself thinking wow i was really fucking crazy back then when i used to read and walk at the same time oh my

It's not necessarily a matter of not being able to do this as preferring to be aware of your surroundings when walking, and being entirely engrossed without having to worry about staying in motion while reading. But then, I don't even like to wear headphones while walking in public.

i do this sometimes with blackberry, but wouldn't recommend it

if reading + car ride make me sick ill probably die if i'll if read while walk.or get my head bumped on a pole.

plus,the topics on ILE are getting more and more esoteric.

But then, I don't even like to wear headphones while walking in public.

Okay this = totally crazypants.

What a bizarre coincidence! I was thinking of starting a thread on this exact subject this morning while walking from the subway to my job.

While walking and thinking about this, I was also READING A BOOK.

I only do it from subway station to my job in the a.m. (one avenue block) and I have to be really into the book I'm reading for it to happen, so that I can't bear to let go until I get off the office elevator.

The one guy in middle school who would do this walking home from the bus stop, we used to mock as a freak. Little did we know he was utterly OTM.

I have read while walking and wearing headphones in downtown Chicago, but then again my insanity is well established, if not here, but most other places in the universe.

I don't prefer to be aware of anything while I'm walking, it's an occasionally painful, unrewarding exercise in futility because you always get places more slowly than you think you will, and you're covered in a sheen of sweat when you do. I hate it. I will ride my bike to the grocery store THREE BLOCKS away even if it means carrying it down the apartment stairs. Reading while walking is, if the streets aren't too crowded and inefficient, a perfect way to distract my mind from my irritation and boredom.

LAUREL, JON, NICK: INSANE.

THE EVIDENCE IS MOUNTING, YOU INEFFICIENT BAG OF WALKING BONES.

APPARENT FIXATIONS OF THE INSANE: EFFICIENCY, MULTI-TASKING, STOPPING IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

I'm getting the feeling this thread will be used to decide who gets committed/executed when the psychologists finally take over.

No DSM4's for you, ilxors, oh no.

APPARENT FIXATIONS OF THE BRAINLESS AND UNEVOLVED: ... ... ... I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I WAS JUST GAZING AT THAT PHONE BOOTH.

IT'S AWFULLY...RED.

DON'T YOU THINK?

I'm getting the feeling this thread will be used to decide who gets committed/executed when the psychologists finally take over.

lol if all the psychos would just follow me through this door here plz - yah ok np bring yr book

As a child I used to do this all the time. The last time I did it I was reading a particularly hilarious Private Eye article and almost got creamed by a truck motoring up Mare Street.

We won't be around for the end times, jhs, the matter transporters should be finished soon....very soon.

lol walking while reading scifi

I read during part of my walk in to work in the morning if the book's any good. The only issue I've had is attracting the attention of this man who has turned it into a talking point and now won't let me pass until I tell him about what I'm reading. But then one day he DID say I've turned him on to reading, so I guess that's something.

Did he insert a pregnant pause?

YOU'VE TURNED ME ON...

...TO READING.

It would be kind of awesome if you kicked him in the nuts after that.

I do this, when I have to walk somewhere and am annoyed because I'd rather be reading my book. Of course it means I can't concentrate fully on walking OR reading, but better than putting down the book. So fuck you all!

Yeah, I disagree that any place is a good place to stop. What if something awesome is about to happen? You can't just stop reading in the middle of sex or violence!

Yeah, I do this, too. Again, usually when I got off the train at night and want to keep reading whatever I'm reading for the 10-15 minute walk back to my apartment. Can only really do it in the summer, though, unless the streetlights are bright enough.

No, I can't do this because there are snails on my path to work. And sometimes dog shite.

oh yeah, i occasionally will do this with 8.5x11 or 1/2-folded newspaper. but it's dangerous.

My buddy J3ff reads the newspaper while DRIVING. I'm kind of glad we live in different cities now...

Last time I read whilst walking (desperate cramming on the way to an exam) I walked into a lamp-post.

*while

sorry

I thought you wrote "wanking" at first, which made (desperate cramming on the way to an exam) a whole new sinister ball of wax.

wanking outside while reading could be dangerous

Especially if you get that leg seizure thing.

"I wanked into a lamp-post"

Ow?

Alas when I scanned the clearing guides for British universities a coupla weeks back, I couldn't find any courses entitled 'pornographic studies'.

http://www.academia.org/campus_reports/2001/oct_2001_4.html

US >>>>> UK

"That's what kids do these days, they make porn at school," said a Wesleyan University student who earned an "A" for filming a fellow student masturbating.

the land of milk and honey

jelq and cunny

At Wesleyan University, Professor Hope Weissman teaches a seminar called "Pornography: Writing of Prostitutes," that requires students to do make own pornography project, which can take the form of video, essay, or live performance.

i wonder who chooses 'essay'

People Who Wank Without Swinging Their Arms

I do this, when I have to walk somewhere and am annoyed because I'd rather be reading my book. Of course it means I can't concentrate fully on walking OR reading, but better than putting down the book. So fuck you all!

Maria OTM.

People who don't read while walking are empty husks just waiting to die.

Well done for getting in everyone's way, and meandering across the pavement, because you're not looking were you're going. Can't be much of a satisfying read either. Just daft all round, really.

i can read and walk in a straight line, brah

This is asking for disaster when I do it! Yesterday my eyes were so tired I was trying to walk around (in a vast empyt patio) with my eyes closed, but I grew too scared to do it for long. I tried alternating keeping the eyes closed, but it did nothing to relieve the eye tiredness and looked silly, so I gave up on that, too.

I used to do this walking home from the Metro stop after work sometimes when I lived in DC. It only happened a couple of times, when the book I was reading on the Metro was amazing. I think maybe the fact that I hated my job made reading whatever I wanted seem extra-super-important? It was a short and well-known path back to my apartment. I never got hurt (though the dude who worked at the kabab stand on the way made fun of me.)

I HATE PPL DOING THIS I HATE PPL DOING THIS THEY ALWAYS WALK SO SLOW BECAUSE THEY DISTRACTED AND I WANT TO PUNCH THEM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND STEAL THEIR HARRY POTTER AND THROW IT IN THE TRASH IMMEDIATELY INSTEAD I SETTLE FOR QUIETLY FUMING AND SEETHING INSIDE

Ha, weird: I used to do this all the time when I was younger (say 18-22), and then this morning I was doing it for the first time in forever and, umm, nearly got hit by a car.

But that was only part reading, and part that I felt like I was walking my street (one-way going west) when I was a block down (one-way going east).

I swear I was very careful about walking off to the extreme right and not blocking other people, Ally!

PS I have never seen a reader-walker going slow. For me, anyway, reading while walking suggets a pretty purposeful fast-walking journey. No reason to amble aimlessly along with a book -- if you've got time to kill, you can just sit down and read.

I only read & walk on a stretch that is, for the most part, pedestrian-free.

Yeah I don't walk slow when I do this.

I can't imagine doing it in Chicago, but I used to do it occasionally when I was still in school. Particularly when walking through campus during the summer when no one was around and there was nothing that needed attention paid to it.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I've had less problems with READING + WALKING than I've had with EATING BAGEL + WALKING.

Besides, I get plenty of reading time on public transportation.

all of who claim to do this w/o walking slow or getting in the way are totally deluded!

If I am reading and walking, that means I am comfortable enough in my surroundings to know that I am on MY sidewalk and you unimportant plebes better get the fuck out of MY way before I step on you.

(NB: I also feel this way when I'm walking and not reading.)

Ha, I just remembered when this habit started for me -- finishing Mrs. Dalloway while running late for an exam. I was definitely not moving slow (and I definitely don't recommend reading Woolf while walking).

(Also when reading and not walking.)

KYOWWW!!!

Orlando, Flush, and VW non-fiction are okay if you're sitting down, I think.

GHOST RIDER OTM

my blackberry-reading might slow me a hair, but i'm still faster than average

THE TRICK IS TO HOLD IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE

Trust me, there is nothing you're going to that is more important than the Doctor Who book I have in front of my face.

omg gabbneb is officially douchiest person in world how is it you don't actually live in dc

If I am reading and walking, that means I am comfortable enough in my surroundings to know that I am on MY sidewalk and you unimportant plebes better get the fuck out of MY way before I step on you.

Correct.

reading while walking=I look up every now and then, duh.

there is nothing you're going to that is more important than the Doctor Who book I have in front of my face.

At first I read this as, "there is nothing you're going to do that is more important..."

and I was like, jeez, Dan really loves Dr. Who A LOT

i bet i would lose it, though, if I tried to read The Waves while walking.

this is basically exactly like how every single person in the world assumes they are smarter than your average bear. OTHER PPL DO THIS THING ANNOYINGLY, BUT I, DEAR SIRS, AM AN EXCEPTION. bullshit! you're all slow and in my goddamned way!

AND TO ALL OF YOU BESIDES BASICALLY GHOST RIDER AND JHOSH, I SAY, GOOD DAY. carzy ppl!

all right, I'm convinced. I've not done this in about five years, I think maybe because I don't hate my life anymore.

who you callin carzy

i am a fast fucking walker

yeah, when you're not readin' a book, i'm sure you are!~!

Don't let Ally convince you of stuff, Horseshoe, it'll end in tears and Manics records

you're either with me or you're with gabbneb. think about it, ppl.

The sad thing is I'm pretty confident that I could read a book, watch a movie, play Halo 3, and help deliver a child while walking and STILL have more awareness of the space around me than half the people in the Times Square subway station

Ok, it would be very odd and I might be almost (but not quite) as annoyed as Ally about this if it happened on busy downtown sidewalks. I don't see that too often, though, and I certainly don't do it. The most I do is walk home and continue reading, three blocks from the bus stop on a quiet residential street.

I think it's impossible to do this in downtown Chicago. you'd surely die.

Kenan OTM.

it's pretty easy to avoid people on sidewalks if you think they are going to annoy you/get in your way. i don't do it on busy streets. i don't do it that often. and, like nabisco, i have way more space awareness than the people around me.

(or i think i have more space awareness than the people around me.)

i have never read a book while walking and can't imagine doing so. i also walk faster than everyone in washington, dc except this like 6'4 english dude

what a retarded and specious claim you've just made

ppl who walk faster than gabbneb:
this lady i work with who walks really fast
everyone named debbie
ghost rider
running backwards man
6'4 english dudes

specious!

LOL AT NABISCO N QUE'S INSANE DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: EVEN WITH OUR EYES CLOSED WE CAN SEE BETTER THAN ANYONE EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A HAWK OR AN EAGLE.

http://www.learner.org/jnorth/images/graphics/d-e/eagle_eagleeye.GIF

other ppl who walk faster than gabbneb:
mr. que
anyone listening to the ace of spades on their ipod
the train conductor on the 9:25 yellow line from fort totten
everyone who has posted a craigslist missed connection in rosslyn, va
sommer mathis
nicole richie when she's in town

nb: mr. que when he's not reading a book, otherwise all bets off

I don't claim to have way more spatial awareness than everyone around me, ya bastard. But all the places I've done this so far are either residential side streets or college-campus outskirts. I can't imagine anyone trying it in a bustling area, if only because the people tend to be entertaining enough themselves.

I've remembered another reason I took to this -- three weeks during which I was desperately avoiding making eye contact or acknowledging that I'd noticed this person I walked past every day.

oh i do this a lot, but only w. novels that i'm not embarrassed to have in public

anyone listening to the ace of spades on their ipod

:D

i have never walked into anybody or anything but i have stepped in dog poop

I'm pretty confident that I could read a book, watch a movie, play Halo 3, and help deliver a child while walking and STILL have more awareness of the space around me than everyone in the known universe

-- nabisco, Friday, September 14, 2007 2:13 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i walk faster than everyone in washington, dc except PROFESSOR ZOOM

I can't imagine anyone trying it in a bustling area

Yes! Yes! WE HAVE RULES TO FOLLOW PEOPLE, NOT EAGLE EYES

ppl do this in busy areas all the time in dc, btw. (this is a note for kenan)

ghost rider does indeed walk v v fast!

faster than gabbneb!

i walk faster than every motherfucker on this thread.

xpost

(Note, Jhoshea, specification of TIMES SQUARE SUBWAY STATION in that claim, not noted for people having great space-awareness; this is like saying "I'm the fastest walker in the retirement home")

Xpost - YOU, SIR, ARE A CAD
also you never gave me the mp3s you owe me for guessing where you lived

i would like to see mr. que, with a book, in a walk off with ghost rider. also you should both have had about 5 drinks.

that was you? ok what mp3s would you like sir?

then i will laugh and laugh and laugh.

i can't/don't walk as fast w/a book

oh the truth comes out!

LOOK OUT JHOSHEA NABISCO AND HIS LASER EYES ARE GOING TO POWERWALK TO YR SECRET HOUSE WHILE READING MIRANDA JULY

In addition to holding your book right at eye level and constantly flicking your eyes over the top edge, it helps to kind of plan out a route in advance, walk quickly along it, then pause momentarily (like on corners) and plot the next leg. You might look a little birdlike and jerky, but you won't be stumbling dopily along and blundering into things.

in addition to what nabisco just said, it also helps to just wait til you get to your destination to read your fuckin' book!

this thread left dan's porn studies article behind far too quickly

yo im a pretty fast walker

max, do you walk faster than gabbneb?

I find it refreshing when the most contentious thread of the day is about something this stupid.

WHAT IF MY DESTINATION IS A BOOK-BURNING, EH??

You might look a little birdlike and jerky trans. you will look like an idiot and everyone will hate you

gabbneb how fast do you walk in mph

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mHSw384uSo
gabbneb, walkin around dc

i bet i avg like 4.5 mph and max out at 5 or so

nabisco, if you are going to a book burning, then i'll give you a pass. but you should wear a shirt that says "please excuse my reading, i am on the way to a book burning" so that i am aware that is what you are doing and don't come up and punch you in the head.

you know what we need now

a POLL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mHSw384uSo <---- THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER

kenan OTM

I don't claim to be a fast walker; I claim to be more important than everyone around me. Ergo, Ally's outrage is completely immaterial here.

dan is the only person here who is honest with themself.

Nabisco and Dan and I are in good company. OMG ITS ABE LINCOLN

http://www.abelincoln.com/images/orginals/1-07_lg.jpg

axe-tippin'

http://www.abelincoln.com/images/orginals/1-27_lg.jpg

STUDENT STORE KEEPER SURVEYOR RIVERMAN LEGISLATOR POST MASTER

lookin a little birdlike and jerky

so abe lincoln was a douche, what is yr point

Abe is in an open field = not douchey.

The thing is that it's not HARD to walk faster than a lot of people, Ally. You know this. Stop denying. You can be SLIGHTLY SLOWER while reading a book and still be less of an idiot than, say, 50% of other pedestrians. I worked at Rockefeller Ctr for three years, I know this.

That said people in my home nabe are refreshingly sensible about sidewalks except for the tables and chairs.

AND HEY ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THERE'S A DUDE KNOWN FOR BEING TOTALLY AWARE OF HIS SURROUNDINGS WHEN IT COUNTED, RIGHT?

Also I now have to get to work & back through Grand Central and I am ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SURE that a large number of other pedestrians are stupid.

its worth pointing out that abe lincoln was the ugliest president

also probably GAY

ILX / ALLY MORALITY TRENDWATCH, PART TWO

putting salt on food = you're a cretin and should die
reading while walking = i will punch you in the head
masturbating across the room from a sleeping baby = sick pervert
yelling insults at people from moving vehicles = totes awesome

http://images.theglobeandmail.com/archives/RTGAM/images/20060911/wyourpics0911/goldblum1done.jpg

POLL

http://hollywoodbackwash.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/paris_hilton-book.jpg

I don't get the Goldblum pic at all...?

WHY CONTRIBUTE TO THE IDIOCY OF THE WORLD WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS THING

BECAUSE WE LIKE TO READ YOU FUCKWIT

masturbating across the room from a sleeping baby = sick pervert

uh i like how yr throwin this in there like that's totally an abnormal thing to think

jesus people PORN STUDIES

oh and all that punching slow-walking people in the back of the head is LAME, just walk round them ffs

SORRY I CALLED YOU A FUCKWIT BUT STILL YOU KNOW

nobody's stopping you from reading, when you're seated and in an appropriate area. i mean i like to fucking smoke but you don't see me coming up in your house and doing it.

LOUIS JUST READ PORN ON YOUR OWN TIME NOT IN SCHOOL OKAY

Martin van Buren was totes ugs:

http://www.presidentprofiles.com/images/prh_01_img0023.jpg

that fucker was UUUUUGLLLLEEEEE

LOL PRESIDENT MULLET JAMES K POLK

http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~haywood/images/jpg/pphotos/polkjas.jpg

http://images1.comstock.com/Imagewarehouse/RF/SITECS/NLWMCompingVersions/0014000/14500-14999/KS14668.JPG

President Goldblum

LOUIS I DO WALK AROUND THEM OTHERWISE THERE'D BE A LOT MORE INJURED PPL IN WASHINGTON DC, I WAS ONLY SAYING I WAS GOING TO PUNCH NABISCO IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD

XPOST CHRIST BE MORE OF A DOUCHEBAG

putting salt on food = you're a cretin and should die

This is true, though.

something abt honest abe stepping on a patch of ground reading here i grew up is really cracking me up

also the key here is putting salt on food BEFORE YOU EVEN TASTE IT

maybe its cause he wouldve seen that if he hadnt been READING + WALKING

MR QUE I JUST GOT BACK FROM WORK YESTERDAY FELT LIKE FRIDAY FFS I AM KNACKERED AND NOW IS THE TIME I RELINK DAN'S AWESOME ARTICLE: http://www.academia.org/campus_reports/2001/oct_2001_4.html

ESPECIALLY NOTABLE IS THE COURSE WHOSE FINAL EXAM IS MARKED ON EITHER "VIDEO, ESSAY OR LIVE PERFORMANCE"; WHAT SORT OF DICKBAG CHOOSES 'ESSAY' EH I'LL BET MR QUE WOULD

louis this thread is abt READING + WALKING

jesus christ go jerk off!!! in front of a baby, to make nabisco happy.

ONLY 1 LETTER AWAY FROM "READING WANKING", WHICH IS WHAT ALL THOSE PORN STUDENTS ARE EFFECTIVELY DOING

XPOST

MAYBE I WILL ALLY

OR MAYBE I WILL GO EAT

xpost no no... on an oreo pizza.

lol on closer inspection it actually says "...here i grew up..."

those are your options??! jerk off or eat??

Welcome to the mystical world of men.

maybe you should walk around your neighborhood jerking off while eating an ice cream cone (plz to salt) by yourself and you can offend every single person on ilx.

HE ALREADY DOES

OMG HES POSTING FROM HIS BLACKBERRY NOOOOOOOOOOO

I've done that!

(POSTED FROM A BLACKBERRY, I MEAN)

lol that's so gay

gabneb did that from a cab yesterday

I have also posted from MY NEW FREE IPHONE.

did u pin the weave on britney in a myspace game or something?

No! I used linkspank.com when I was supposed to be working.

LOUIS QUIT TRYING TO GET US TO TALK ABOUT ACADEMIC WANKERY

oh yeah dan did you win that jacket too

oh shit i think i'm supposed to be working right now

ok whos starting the poll

xpost You may want to let your autonomic nervous system relax a bit. Think soothing thoughts. Have some herbal tea.

I won't get the jacket until the end of the month and I still need 13 more people to sign up.

THIS IS GOOD ADVICE FOR WHEN YOU FEEL THE URGE TO READ + WALK EVERYONE XP

it's funny when people get wound up over little things.

why did you get the iphone before the jacket? does the jacket have safari on it?

like i get wound up at slow walkers. and people that ride bikes on the sidewalk.

jhøshea and ally need some time in the chill-out room. Look at the pretty colors projected on the wall. Listen... is that The Orb? Aw... you gotta love The Orb.

are you going to give us oranges and cigarettes y/n

also if you play the orb at me i don't think you want to see what will happen

The iPhone was a completely seperate contest with different rules. Really I'm gunning for getting a free Wii (50 ppl) but I doubt I'll make it, so I'm settling for the jacket (20 ppl).

dudes im not mad at readwalkers ive just noticed that you are insane is all

dude i would much rather help you win a wii versus a TRACK JACKET

are you going to give us oranges and cigarettes y/n

Hey... help yourself at the oranges and cigarettes bar.

yeah i too am not actually mad, just confounded that y'all want to increase the stupidity of the world by 10%

EMAIL ME, THEN, SO I CAN GET A WII

how does reading=stupidity

I'M FUCKING PISSED

i want a wii

does the chill out room have a wii?

im just gonna go ahead and assume theres weed

sorry, we spent all the money on the projector with the colored gel stuff.

DON'T BE OBTUSE, QUE

god fucking raves wtf

a rave at which one fucks god

whilst listening to the orb

or masturbates in front of a baby

SHUT UP NOT YOU JHOSH BUT INSTEAD LOUIS

no i should shutup too i never wanted to be in voled in that toumas baby talk or raves either i just came for the drugs

i was never a factor in the whole tuomas morality debate, leave me outta that one

wait eeeewwwww xp me

Tuomas is a-ok with me.

let's change the subject away from thomas, okay?

http://ww2.et.tiki.ne.jp/~abracadabra/wallpaper/pizza.jpg

I fall down a lot.

oh damn i am hungover and those pizzas look...well. not good, but definitely something i would eat right now

last night i made a pizza with potatoes & cheese & sausage & rosemary

wuh? I think if I was hungover those pizzas would make me even more queasy.

First they pre-salted the hash browns; but I was not a potato, so I said nothing.
Then they read while walking; but I had turned into a potato, so I said nothing, because I didn't have a mouth.

i'm not queasy at all, i'm fuckin hungry

xpost what the hell are you even saying, nabisco

Poor potatobisco. How can you be OTM anymore, esp. w/your incredicbly high starch content?

You oxidize really easy now, too.

it makes perfect sense to me. Of course, I'm tripping, too.

MOER LIKE OMNOMNOM RIGHT

hahaha wtf dude, let me sign you up for linkspank so your potato-ass can help me get a Wii.

Potatoes have EYES.

but do they walk as fast as gabbneb

Unless you mean 'potato' in how people use 'oreo' for a metaphor, but way more downhome style?

I have never noticed anyone actually reading and walking at the same time. If this would happen, then..

If I am reading and walking, that means I am comfortable enough in my surroundings to know that I am on MY sidewalk and you unimportant plebes better get the fuck out of MY way before I step on you.

Then I'd most probably do what I do to people walking backwards - like those fucking idiots who like to do this while talking to someone behind'em or something - namely I would just bump into you. Y'know, bump my shoulder really hard and then pretend I was sorry.

If you weren't reading, you could speed up and be home quicker so you could sit down and finish your god damn book.

lol i also bump into ppl who are annoying me "by accident"

i can do this, and do it all the time

*high fives*

I mostly do that to people who are trying to enter subway cars before I leave them. Also people who stand on narrow subway-station stairs reading maps and whatnot. I would like to do this to people who do oblivious stuff in narrow paths next to subway tracks, but my whole objection here is that their obliviousness could get someone killed, so it'd be a big hypocritical to knock them around.

None of you understand how much I hate walking.

BIT hypocritical

Some sudden-turn no-spatial-sense tourist nearly knocked me in front of an oncoming train once, I'm still touchy about it.

I was doing this in elementary school. It's all about the peripheral vision.

Also, bumping into people "by accident": +

Esp right now cos have had an inflamed tendon in my foot for like 6 weeks and limp everywhere.

Okay who the fuck walks backwards???? That is loco.

i was completely convinced i was going to be thrown in front of a train this one time

ppl who walk backwards:
running backwards man

yesterday someone parked their fold-up bike right in front of the deli door

I have never bumped into anyone or been bumped while reading and walking, BTW.

funny, neither have I!

*high-five*

like you oblivious bastards would even notice if you did

me neither!

ps shut the hell up

also, while driving through island park, ID, i saw a man WALKING BACKWARDS ACROSS AMERICA.

Okay who the fuck walks backwards???? That is loco.

Hey, there are some people who read'n'walk. I mean, sheesh people, you walk on the street because, most probably, you wanna GET SOMEWHERE. So do it fast, do it FOCUSED and don't read. You'll get there faster.
We have a lot of tourists around here and so many of'em ANNOY THE FUCK out of me. Like when they are casually walking backwards while talking to someone (or just, y'know, look behind'em when walking) or walk in the middle of the street while you are cycling towards them and don't give an inch (or rather centimeter).

But keep on doing what you're doingn so I can bump into you accidently.

I'm guessing most of you read-walkers are just trying to show off your intellectual reading skills. Reading some obscure Hungarian author from the 60s or some shit.

You know those Hungarian authors from the 60s were really big on writing throwaway Doctor Who novels!

Yes, if by "obscure Hungarian author from the 60s" you mean young adult fantasy novels, because that's what I do for a living.

ILU DAN

I'm guessing most of you read-walkers are just trying to show off your intellectual reading skills. Reading some obscure Hungarian author from the 60s or some shit.

You guess wrong.

its actually because theyre insane - dont bother reasoning

I actually despise people who read to prove that they're smart. I'm basically like "IF YOU WERE SO FUCKING SMART, YOU WOULD NOT BE WASTING YOUR TIME READING INTENTIONALLY IMPENETRABLE SELF-INVOVLED BULLSHIT AND READ FOR PLEASURE." Fuckers ruin reading for everybody.

I don't think I know anyone who reads in public to show off. Maybe I just haven't met them yet.

I read the Riverside Shakespeare while walking

I mean, I know plenty of people who have books that do nothing but look good on their shelves, so I guess it's not too much of a step to think that maybe sometimes they take their decorations down and bring them to the coffee shop or something.

I usually don't care at all what other people are reading, unless it's a comic book.

i always hide my gaddis inside a sweet valley high so people wont think im a dick

Most people's opinions of others' reading goes like this, though:

reading something more demanding than you'd read = pretentious show-off
reading something less demanding than you'd read = moron
reading something you have read = welcome to last year, jerk

HAHAHAHA i love this thread

A trend I notice in Chicago is that everyone seems to be constantly reading a book about Chicago.

how the fuck am i supposed to know whether a book i haven't read or anything is "more demanding than i'd read"?

it would be awesome to be reading a biography of yrself

How much do Nabisco's rules change if you find the reader attractive?

then you a salt them

before you even taste them? Cretin.

http://www.marx-brothers.org/whyaduck/images/harmony.jpg

i have a friend who (used to have?) has a t-shirt which is a picture of himself, made at one of those shitty kinko's things.

Recursive man is recursive.

Most attractive book-reading thing I've seen: this milkmaid-looking French girl from my neighborhood on train lost in the final third of Pedro Paramo. And then the doors dinged and she looked up, questingly, with the visionary expression of a socialist-realist statue. Multiple people I was with were all "OMG awesomest readership ever"

in hs i went to a school that had k-12 and there was this obnoxious 10 y/o fat kid who all the other kids hated and he wore a shirt w/photo-of-self all the time - it was really one of the most tragic things ive ever seen

perpetua?

i have had a number of friends with ironic pics of themselves t-shirts

omg i googled him

he has founded a website called qu0t3land dot com

oh shit sorry

nice 1 que

i thought it was just going to be b3n fr@nklin

the shirt was often paired w/spandex shorts

but anyway hey david if yr reading this glad to see yr doin good bro

i asked the mods to delete ben franklin

lol

hey david if u readin this nice shirt

hey david if u readin this i told that weird blond little kid you always hung out w/to not be such a dick to you once

omg i love you people

curse me for going out for a run

lololol

DURING WHICH I TOTALLY READ THE BEGINNING OF IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME

XPOST

one time my friend tyler interviewed him on video and he was wearing that shirt and it was so amazing

lol xp

hi david, I am really sorry for revealing your identity to the world, i just really liked yr b3n fr@nklin gif.

I should make a shirt with myself on it.

how fast did he walk, this tragic fat kid

faster than gabbneb y/n

I am getting "Fat Boy" by Jewel stuck in my head now, argh.

hahahaha that fuckin song!!

which is the one where she starts singing "faggot"

lol wait it is pieces of you isn't it

jewel is so fucking hot guys, why does she have to be basically borderline retarded?

uh

teeth

who cares, we're talking about hot dogs

Basis for Charlize Theron character on Arrested Development

really? HA!

(they couldn't find an actress with Jewel-teeth, so they made her ENGLISH, so it's implied)

(sorry, horseshoe, I am just kidding)

BACON WRAPPED HOT DOGS

http://www.248am.com/images/baconwraphotdog.jpg

max why the hell are you looking at her teeth at all when she has those tits.

bacon...wrapped...hot dogs?!?!?!!

I like her teeth.

ALLY 8080

that looks just like poop fyi xp

http://www.visi.com/~lazlo/gallery/jewel_grammy_dress.jpg

i can totally see her nips

somone explain why gis for jewel gives me "jewel rosa," realdoll, and not the other jewel

Welcome to Everyday Angels, Aaron's Unofficial Jewel Page

:O

yeah, it's time for me to get a girlfriend again :-/

Jewel has amazing breasts. Just ask her, she'll write you a poem about them!

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1363/740654188_97b33fe7fa.jpg

why is jewel going to congress

lolboob legislation

Mr. Jewel Goes to Washington

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/43/122298903_22238dada6_b.jpg

that kinda redefines the tragic hot/lame conundrum

actually no

those people that made up the sleestaks were totally baked

i don't get it

http://moviejpegs1.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/Sleestak.jpg

http://delivery.viewimages.com/xv/71951764.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19396908EAF14430D3510617249D9D254D34B4EB2A8211AE242

hooray me

http://delivery.viewimages.com/xv/74786117.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1933D389E1A66A489864EF537009A4E169752FEA53865560AF7

Tripod pwning is always lol

http://www.70slivekidvid.com/land/sleestak1.jpg

http://www.jewelfans.com/jewel2.jpg

ok i'm done

finally

wait what happened to my congress pictures

lolboobs

lol @ i dont get it, tripod, blank, horray me, blank

boobs kill thread = first time ever?

boobs ALWAYS kill thread

this morning a woman FELL like not 20 ft in front of me while reading and walking. she was also drinking a coffee at the time so it was extra funny because she got covered in her coffee too!!

last time i checked this was not READING + WALKING + DRINKING thread

last time i checked nobody cared about yr opinion

nobody gets it when i kid ;_;

man this kid's all over the place today

it's because most of your jokes are kind of on a level with the wife beating thread revival this morning

there is a difference between "getting it" and "having the patience for it"

o_O

guys stop ruining my awesome thread revival

that wasn't so much a joke as a crass attempt at starting a discussion topic for the women's soccer world cup, for which i later apologised.

ally, your revival WAS awesome, and therefore stands alone as some sort of monument to karma, regardless of what follows.

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/5107/jewel14jx.jpg

what was she reading and was it a huge starbucks coffee or what

i don't buy it.

that wasn't so much a joke as a crass attempt at starting a discussion topic for the women's soccer world cup, for which i later apologised.

this is now my standard reply for anyone giving me shit abt anything

it was a big starbucks, and she was reading the so-called "washington post"

ALSO SHE WAS REALLY SHORT :D :D

but for the post, that could be me. I fall with coffee all the time.

Hi Ally try one speck of graciousness toward those of us wihtout Legs of th Sexor, okay?

NOT WHILE READING THOUGH I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE

it was just funny that she was 5 ft tall and had like a 2 gallon coffee :D

lol louis i love it that when ppl dont find you funny you assume its because they dont "get" it

also Laurel otm. maybe I fall with coffee because I'm really short?

xpost those of us who are short need just as much caffeine as anyone else!

ALLY NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO TRY MY NEW STANDARD REPLY OUTLINED UPTHREAD

lol but i hasn't apologized :D

it wasn't meant to be a joke, max, it was a friendly jibe!

is the washington post the one owned by m00n135?

lol who pays for a newspaper on monday get a life

GOOD GOD LOUIS PLEASE

COME ON ITS THE NEW IVE APOLOGIZED AND AM MOVED ON

wash times is owned by the moonies; tombot owns the post

GUIZE I'M PRETTY TALL

LIKE FOR A GIRL, NOT IN GENERAL

also the argnetinian women's football team I also own that

football with helmets though not that other football with "no hands"

Wait, there is a 2-gallon coffee available outside yr own apt??

apparently at starbuck's

FREE PAPERS CAN SUCK IT

I love that Starbucks "eight gallons of coffee" only costs $2.

This morning I saw twenty people walking without reading, and they all fell down in a puddle. I was reading, and did not. True story.

FREE PAPERS PRINT THE SAME AP/REUTERS CRAP AS THE $PAPERS PLUS THEY SKIP THE DUMB-LIKE-A-BUTT EDITORIAL CONTENT

SOMEOFUS WAKE UP AND EAT OUR OATMEAL TO DUMB-LIKE-A-BUTT EDITORIAL CONTENT, THE ONLY WAY WE CAN TRULY AWAKEN IN THE A.M.

nabisco, that is neither funny nor true so i have no idea why you posted it. enlighten me.

nabisco your anecdotal evidence doesn't count. just because you were there when a bunch of blind people all got off a bus, that proves nothing.

free papers in london actually suck knowledge out of you, but they only take 3 minutes to read so you can throw them onto the train floor before too much damage is done

why would you do that, why would you throw your garbage on the train floor and upset everyone else

i had sex with four of the five spice girls this morning while reading

http://www.energyfiend.com/the-caffeine-database/

ally he was "joking" why didnt you "get it"

max who did you leave out, are you a racialist?

Those weren't The Spice Girls, those were Take That.

i bet they call litterbugs some funny ass stupid shit in England like "gollysnatchers"

DEAR "SKY ROCKET CAFFINATED SYRUP"

8080!!!!!!

SINCERELY
THE SCHEF

everyone throws them to the floor, they lie around like vomit matting or cat litter, they are symbolic of our times

sporty, duh

"vomit matting" <---- WAHT

i had sex with four of the five spice girls this morning while reading

Keep your pinkie raised for etiquette points?

and yes i had sex with take that TOO i just didnt want to make anyone jealous

http://buzznet-60.vo.llnwd.net/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2007/03/sporty-spice-melanie-chisholm-bangs.jpg

i replaced her with jewel, HAPPY NOW

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/7/5/5/2/13902557-13902559-large.jpg
DUDE WHY DID YOU NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS WTF

i hate jocks

dude you fucked a bunch of moms but not a hot lesbian, i don't understand you at ALL anymore

Sporty Furtado!

http://blogs.tampabay.com/juice/images/2007/06/15/tbdmelc061807.jpg

i don't think i'd be able to have sex with posh spice because i'd be concerned that she would probably eat my head when finished???

ALLY DONT YOU GET THE POINT OF THE STORY I WAS READING WHILE I HAD SEX OF COURSE I MADE BAD DECISIONS

posh spice doesnt eat ANYTHING anymore

don't you get that the point of my posts is to talk about hot ladies tho

except heads

what if posh spice ate her own head

more hot, less hot, or about the same

Posh Spice eats the hopes and dreams of a failing nation.

anything posh spice does is ok with me, she occupies a similar place as karl lagerfeld in my mind.

Also, if she ate everything except her fake tits.... MAYBE hott.

she looks like nick dastoor with titties in this picture tho
http://www.couchmaster.ca/images/bion/Posh_Spice6.jpg

A++++++++
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_03/poshSplitwireMtx_468x649.jpg

god I love her

she looks like nick dastoor with titties in this picture all the time tho

fixed

http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2006/gallery/tomkatwedding/victoria_beckham.jpg
it's like they come from the future

do her and beckham still have sex because looking at her gives me a negative boner

i dont think they even have private parts

we're in ur country
upgradin' ur fashionz

are they secret agents or what

it's like they come from the future

totally!

http://kuwait-style.com/images/2007/06/06-07-07-VICTORIA-BECKHAM-GLAMOUR-WOMAN-OF-THE-YEAR.jpg
she thought to put on a jacket, but not, like, clothing?

OF COURSE THEY DON'T HAVE SEX THEY ARE ROBOTS

lol does she have any other facial expression besides "INTENSE"

hahaha waht the fuck
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/original/poshbaseball4AP_468x431.jpg

xxpost: grady to thread

unless all robot sex is gay sex

WHY DON'T I OWN THIS?
http://media.idahostatesman.com/smedia/2007/08/16/11/534-BOOKS_VICTORIA_BECKHAM.sff.embedded.prod_affiliate.36.jpg

She's terrifying.

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/original/poshbaseball4AP_468x431.jpg
aaaayo im tired of usin technolooooogy

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/6/6/7/2/13262766-13262768-large.jpg

wtf?
http://imstars.aufeminin.com/stars/fan/D20060226/2306_553626655_karl_H152351_L.jpg

That is the greatest picture. They match! Also, the book isn't available yet in the US. Don't ask why I know these things. xpost

Also - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

lagerfeld is in a league of his own really

I think the fug girls have mentioned on several occasions that Posh's autobiography is kind of amazing.

lagerfeld is basically the most important person who ever lived on this planet

"person"

u read this right http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/03/19/070319fa_fact_colapinto

Ok - I just looked again and the guitar Karl pic is actually terrifying.

His starched shirt had a four-inch-high collar that fit snugly under his chin, and his hair—whitened with a gesso-like dry shampoo—was pulled into a ponytail. His large belt buckle was encrusted with diamonds; his tie, looped with silver chains, was fixed with a jade Cartier clasp from the nineteen-twenties. He was wearing fingerless black biker gloves that bore silver grommets, etched with the Chanel logo, on each knuckle and were equipped, at the wrists, with small zippers that carried faintly S & M overtones. “Très chic, non?” he said, holding up a hand to be admired. A chunky Chrome Hearts ring adorned the pinkie finger, over the glove.

god

i started reading that article all lol look @ this crazy guy and finished it genuinely inspired

He hates the telephone, and communicates with the outside world primarily through faxes, which he writes in flowing script with a fountain pen.

I don't really like the telephone either so I should probably start doing this, right?

The sad part is that when KL landed from that jump he shattered both knees -- v sad about the osteoporosis and the slow discorporation. Doctors report a near-total lack of bone mass, or in fact any other kind either.

ahhh faxing SO AWESOME

http://img.slate.com/media/1/123125/2083985/2112643/2120488/050608_Fa_Lagerfeld_tn.jpg

total lack of bone mass = Samuel L. Jackson in "Unbreakable"?

If I remember correctly his "diet trick" is taking a spoonfull of Nutella, letting it "float" around in his mouth and then SPITS IT OUT. I'm not sure if that's the most vile thing I ever heard or the most insane thing. Probably both. That said, he is a GOD and his arrogance, which must be on par with Usher if not greater, is part of why he's so great. He knows it. Would be kinda daft if he was this modest person. You want him to be so smug. I think he also made that Fendi two-tone pattern, I think... Could be wrong though. Also, I need to check the Chanel collection. What I saw, was kinda meh but then I don't even know if he still designs the Chanel collection.

Also, reading and walking is insane you guys. You know it. You are just in denial.

BTW drinking 2 Gallon Starbucks Coffee, you DESERVE to fall on the ground. You insane woman you. Who drinks that shit?

i know who is insane on this thread

which country will rich spice seek to conquer after she fails in america?

I think maybe it was not literally 2 gallons but rather the schef was employing hyperbole.

http://img45.imageshack.us/img45/3795/nonmultitaskingkt0.jpg

Use it! Abuse it!

http://i12.tinypic.com/6aq4n83.jpg

sweeeeeet

THAT looks like a man who can walk and read at the same time

:-D ^_^ :-D

Dan has always been tuff like that.

- Vest
- Pretty Hate Machine t-shirt
- Nabisco's increasing nostalgia for early 90s

It all comes clear.

Read that list while walking to whatever store will sell you Helen Hunt's wardrobe circa 1992.

http://images.theglobeandmail.com/archives/RTGAM/images/20060911/wyourpics0911/goldblum1done.jpg

Louis Jagger?

THE OLD ITALIC TAG/IMAGE TAG MISHAP.

http://images.theglobeandmail.com/archives/RTGAM/images/20060911/wyourpics0911/goldblum1done.jpg

Also, why isn't Louis Jagger being auto-googleproofed?

LOUIS JAGGER

wasted mod privileges in a argentina soccer beef

the 'blum is supposed to look like honest-abe-but-jewish, not he-who-shall-remain-nameless, mr. jaymc.xls!

http://us.ent2.yimg.com/musicfinder.yahoo.com/images/yahoo/elektra/busta_rhymes/busta_rhymes.jpg

This is serious
We can make you delerious
You should have a healthy fear of us
'Cuz too much vulva is dangerous

hahahaha oops wrong thread (OR IS IT...?)

"That's what kids do these days, they make porn at school," said a Wesleyan University student

From the name you'd think it was a Christian seminary

this thread has now been killed with the following:

*boobies
*vulvas

WHAT'S LEFT?

you forgot PORN STUDIES, mr. que

saw someone knitting + walking today

Not sure my dog would get walked without this one neat trick