weird side effects of crushes

sex

Poppage

Are you the same Mr X who reviews restaurants in the Ormskirk Advertiser?

I don't know, do any of the reviews read "the staff were helpful and friendly BUT I DIDN'T FANCY ANY OF THEM OKAY?"

That's almost exactly how they read!

Usually they are a combination of comments on the menu and a list of ways he was jokingly mean to the waiters.

mr x that is horribly transparent, unless you are actually mean, in which case she will go home and cry!

Yeah Mr. X is kind of doomed here.

i have started teasing/ribbing/making almost mean comments to a girl i work with in order to make sure its not evident that i have a crush on her (we get on really well and have tons in common but she has a bf).

I do the same thing. Also with beautiful women. Especially if they are smart, and particularly if they are also young. It's not like I'm proud of it, but you have to accept yourself the way you are.

sleeplessness, eating disorders, the dissolution of your actual relationship, substance abuse, homelessness. maybe these aren't really 'weird' though

i have started teasing/ribbing/making almost mean comments to a girl i work with in order to make sure its not evident that i have a crush on her (we get on really well and have tons in common but she has a bf).

haha, this makes your crush totally obvious

akm otm

as are the people remarking how mr x's behavior is just making his crushing more obv.

in junior high they call it flirting

crushes, like shorts, are for kids

mr x + girl at work = benedick + beatrice

see one episode of "The Office"

see any book, play, poem, film, television programme, or example of people interacting ever.

yeah, ok, or that

increased wankage

mr x + girl at work = calvin + suzy (except in this case suzy already has a boyfriend)

I think Jane Austen might have written a line or two about this.

in every crush ever

ha, good idea, Hoos. Hopefully someone'll step up and do that one.

depression

oh dear. i really do hope it isnt that transparent. maybe shes dumb and doesnt realise. either way, maybe cos of my little comments here and there (all done with a smile and a certain modicum of charm, you understand), shes been doing the same, saying little things here and there back to me. this cant make me look good really, can it? i need to come up with a new strategy of dealing with these things. although saying that, i havent had a 'crush' on anyone for absolutely ages. its sort of nice in a way to still have those feelings. even if they are unrequited. clearly i just need something/one to daydream about.

Juliet, Peter and Mark

Juliet (Keira Knightley) and Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor) have a lovely wedding. Mark (Andrew Lincoln), best man and Peter's best friend, makes a personal tape of the ceremony and reception. When the official wedding video turns out to be dreadful, Juliet contacts Mark in the hopes of getting a copy of his footage, despite the fact that he has always been cold to her. The video turns out to consist entirely of close-ups of her, at which point she realizes that Mark is in love with her. Mark confesses that his coldness toward her is "a self-preservation thing". Later, Mark shows up at Juliet's door pretending to be a carol singer via a portable CD player, and uses a series of signs to convey his true feelings towards Juliet because "at Christmas you tell the truth" and "to me you are perfect". Following the confession, Juliet runs after Mark to give him a kiss and a sympathetic look, before returning to Peter. Mark tells himself, "Enough, enough now", acknowledging that it's time to move on.

another side effect is delusion - i am entertaining the idea that her little 'ripostes' to me are cos she is crushing on me as well.

Wine.

ok well she at the very least thinks you are flirting with her. although you can do that without having a crush on someone.

Oh dear, but if someone flirts with me in a way that I like, I can develop a crush on him in about seven minutes flat. Not very good at separating those kinds of things.

increased wankage

-- wanko ergo sum, Sunday, September 23, 2007 5:00 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

too true

sudden and unexpected outbursts of atypical shyness

delusion out the wazoo!

i think you should try to steal her away from her current boyfriend

atypical shyness otm! also stutters. man i am 12 years old :(

you can totally do it. and even if it doesn't work you'll feel a whole lot better about everything. just dandy.

^^^ is this good advice

restraining orders

My propensity to go right off girls when they become/I find out they're attached is a possible factor in my relative lack of success thus far. I give in too easily. Print lyrics to 'Fight Test' here etc.

louis jagger courtship information network

aka ilx

hey, I was basically saying you had a point!

increased attention to personal hygiene on days when crush is likely to be seen

crippling anxiety attacks

"should i try calling her again because maybe she didnt get my message" syndrome

^^^all pretty otm

and even if it doesn't work you'll feel a whole lot better about everything.

the feel better part is bs, imo. But it does allow to start focusing on your next crush.

-- Just got offed, Sunday, 23 September 2007 20:57 (2 minutes ago) Link

increased attention to personal hygiene on days when crush is likely to be seen

-- max, Sunday, 23 September 2007 20:57 (2 minutes ago) Link

hahahah too true

uh that wasn't an attempt to zing LJ, don't know why i copied his name in there

last night i cleaned my apartment, just in case u_u

very typical shyness

WASH COCK B4 WORK

too true

Can't be that Mr X Jarl, he hasn't gone on about how lovely everything was.

increased attention to personal hygiene on days when crush is likely to be seen

-- max, Sunday, 23 September 2007 20:57 (Yesterday) Link

worst of all: obliviousness/indifference towards other attractive members of the opposite sex, even ones who are obviously into you

(whoops, replace "opposite sex" with, uh... I dunno, actually. "preferred sex"? what is the non-heteronormative way to phrase this sentence?)

((my roommate is gay so now I worry about this stuff all the time))

see also: tendency towards lateness due to walking slowly and lingering in places where one is likely to "bump into" crush

like her backyard?

xpost

seriously tho - that sounds like stalking!

and when i say "backyard" you know what i mean.

there's a fine line, but I don't think "oh hey, I've been kinda-sorta meaning to go pick up that new (whatever) album; I should go to the record store, cuz there's always the off chance I might run into (crush) there" crosses it

wanting to appear smarter than your crushee

getting on well with his or her enemies

wanting to appear smarter cooler than your crushee

-- youn, Monday, September 24, 2007 5:02 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

(or most likely both)

not having anything to say in elevators except the woefully obvious and a fixation with floor numbers and a willingness to be obliged because you are above it all and it means that you will condescend to do favors because the other person is so dense to imagine that it's on account of a crush

Getting slightly paranoid at all the other girls he knows who also appear to have a crush on him and wondering wtf he is doing that ppl are so nuts over him and he wont put out and oh dear I need a lie down now.

ah, crush threads.

Wine.

-- libcrypt, Sunday, September 23, 2007 7:54 PM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

that

seeking out sad music even if you are in a good mood

excitement @ hanging out ----> disappointment that u didn't do your big reveal

"big reveal" ----> restraining order

lol

Mr. X --

Dude, she totally knows.

99% Agreed buuuuuuuuuut she might not.

And she apparently doesn't mind which indicates that she either crushes a bit back or likes you enough "as a friend" to overlook it.

Oh, what else is she gonna do?

This is painfully otm, my work crush is leaving tomorrow so i'm feeling very sad.

Distance herself a bit? Fuck knows.

But he doesn't need to change his behaviour necessarily, other than for the sake of his own sanity.

a ton of other sex chances pass by, without you even knowing.

yeah suddenly you are surrounded by hottness all chasing your tail and you don't want any of it.

inevitable outcome, boyfriend kicks crap out of mr x for being such a shit to his girlfriend.

stupid crooked smiles when you get to thinking about her.

if emsk is right i need a hopeless crush pronto

ya rly!

weird side effect: gf doesn't like about it when i talk about my crush
other weird side effect: simultaneously wanting to facebook-stalk and NOT wanting to because it IS like stalking + i am lazy. so far not-stalking is winning

"gf doesn't like about it"

more likely "gf doesn't like about it when i talk about my crush "

they haven't actually met. but you're probably right anyway. but tbh i don't dislike her crush-- in fact i think he's alright-- i just don't care to hear about it is all!

maybe i'm just completely insecure, but i most definitely would not want to know about my bf's crush, and i sure as hell wouldn't want to tell him about mine.

yeah suddenly you are surrounded by hottness all chasing your tail and you don't want any of it.

totally fucking true, in my recent experience.

Horribly sticking my foot in my mouth was the worst side effect I ever experienced.

side effect: little or bad sleep

patita otfm!

completely OTT flirting might be a better way to hide a crush, no?

o...t....t?

h...o...t...t

on tip-toe

OVER THE TOP

Ogling Those Titties

For a number of reasons I have not had active crushes on anyone when in a relationship. but when I've had a crush on someone and she has mentioned someone else she has a crush on it pains a trifle. more bearable when it's a celebrity type but still, STOP TALKING ABOUT DUDE FROM PRISON BREAK

also i think face-stalking is a healthy alternative to any other form of stalking. if that's what keeps you turning up drunk outside her building at 2am i'd recommend it.

p.s. I've never done this.

on the plus side, might be a sign that she's interested (purposely trying to hide it via obsessing over some other, completely unthreatening (in her mind not yours) crush)

xpost

hahahaha i would never do this real stalking thing. stalking isn't my style at all which is why i've probably not face-stalked yet.

delusion out the wazoo!

ew

viscous, sticky delusion

dilation

i don't think stalking is a "style". more of an obsessive compulsive behaviour.

that being said i don't think there's a massive distance from a passionate personality to an obsessive stalkery one. i would consider myself the former which means i can understand the urges to behave weirdly but would never and have never actually acted upon them.

less talkin' more stalkin'

i'm neither so i am probably pretty in the clear.

i would think so.

shame tho, passion can be good. i was asked at a job interview a few weeks ago what I was passionate about I think I said something i thought they might want to hear, like "justice" or some bollocks. when the real answer was "pretty girls" but which i felt to be an inappropriate response to the question.

passion is great!

i have passion, i just don't have a "passionate personality." there is a difference, right? or am i making it up? I could be.

what passion you ever had has died along with martin jol's career

i wouldn't call managing spurs a career. the man can do better.

and i wouldn't have thought there was a difference between a passionate personality and holding passions. but maybe there is.

i'd compare it to having an addiction vs. an addictive personality?

i mean, when i think of "having passions" i basically think, like, you know, not terminally depressed. interested in things, get excited about them, etc.

when i think passionate personality, i think more like... wuthering heights or something.

ok i once wrote an acrostic love-poem to a girl i fancied, that makes me passionate, huh?

if it helps, she turned out to be a lesbian.

Oh, acrostic - I was trying to work the difference between an acoustic and non-acoustic love-poem.

the capitals down the left-hand side read "OIAM TORN WITH LOVE"

you should write one that looks like a regular poem but is secretly an acrostic that says something really dirty. i love those.

i'd turn lesbian if someone wrote me one of those too.

although having said that i used to write acrostic essays. telling my teacher to go fuck himself or something equally pointless and stupid.

will, are you making the point that "passions" is healthy and "being passionate" is unhealthy? i don't think that's true.

no no no! i am not trying to say one is healthy. maybe wuthering heights was a bad example. all i am saying is that having passions != having an affinity for having passions.

i'd turn lesbian if someone wrote me one of those too.

she had been bisexual until she met me. we were both 'finding ourselves', i guess.

aaaaaah i see. i get it now. and see how it fits with the relationship b/w addictive personality and addictions. i think i don't like not having things to be passionate about and have an inclination to go looking for them. be that girl or something else. but mostly girl.

x-post

and what did you find sir?

i think you've already told that story before lj

ah jeez i have as well. heave ho heaves a marvellous memory.

UT11, I found that hitting on girls of dubious sexual orientation for upwards of 4 months is a thoroughly stupid thing to do.

yeah people of dubious sexual orientation are the *worst*.

well tbh it was kind of a turn-on, but when she fell off the tightrope, it was into another lady's Niagara that she plummeted.

waterfalls, etc.

my zing was too subtle :/

yeah. i dontgeddit

louis himself has given out mixed messages on this score, no?

oooooooooooh. i don't know him well enough. other than to have the impression that there are those that, at times, find him a little less than paletable.

well tbh it was kind of a turn-on, but when she fell off the tightrope, it was into another lady's Niagara that she plummeted.

This is the most awesomest piece of Louisese I have seen to date.

i definitely think there's a difference between having passions and having a passionate personality. having a passion refers to a particular object, and could be the only one of your life, whereas a passionate personality means that you always have to have one or you feel incomplete. like some people are always in love, while others aren't but still have the capacity. (massive xpost!)

paletable

You can't give him Mexican popsicles?

i definitely think there's a difference between having passions and having a passionate personality. having a passion refers to a particular object, and could be the only one of your life, whereas a passionate personality means that you always have to have one or you feel incomplete. like some people are always in love, while others aren't but still have the capacity. (massive xpost!)

bingo!

a passionate personality means that you always have to have one or you feel incomplete

can i claim that i kinda figured that out for myself further upthread but articulated it with significantly less clarity.

why is it that my sexuality is always questioned on threads with the word 'crushes' in the title

: - O

http://www.owensworld.com/funnyimages/files/reminder_big.jpg

"I do the same thing. Also with beautiful women. Especially if they are smart, and particularly if they are also young. It's not like I'm proud of it, but you have to accept yourself the way you are."

i do this as well. :(

one good thing about crushes when you dont see the person every day is that the crush is largely inactive.

one bad thing when in the crush's company is when they tell you other people think you are a couple as a 'humorous' observation. or that when youre both out together, it 'feels like a date!' (another humorous remark).

another odd side effect is that as well as the compulsion to go into teasing/meanness mode to compensate for being unable to do anything with your feelings, you start to think they hold you slightly in contempt cos they know you are crushing on them (maybe cos you act in ways you wouldnt normally where you let your guard down unnecesarily or become suddenly shy etc). i dont think you can let this bother you though, unless you want all self respect to go out the window. and i think if youre working with that person, that should never happen.

one bad thing when in the crush's company is when they tell you other people think you are a couple as a 'humorous' observation. or that when youre both out together, it 'feels like a date!' (another humorous remark).

the worst about this is that half the time it means "man we are such good platonic friends" and the other half of the time it means "i am too scared to flirt with you for real cos i hate getting hurt so i will distance myself with friend-flirts"

argh

one bad thing when in the crush's company is when they tell you other people think you are a couple as a 'humorous' observation. or that when youre both out together, it 'feels like a date!' (another humorous remark).

Actually I'm reading this as, "dude, I know you like me, it's REALLY OBVIOUS, try and back off a little."

it's all in the context/inflection, i think.

i think it means move to another planet and find someone new

or call lacuna

ymmv

it means that sometimes but i have definitely seen it used as the "grown-up" (read: not grown-up) version of pulling someone's hair in the sandbox.

or you could borrow a line from mr. flagio and ask her to "take a chance"

more likely "gf doesn't like about it when i talk about my crush"

-- chicago kevin, Monday, September 24, 2007 3:00 PM

^ otm ;_;

Pretending to like her favorite singer/band eg. Jack Johnson

"Actually I'm reading this as, "dude, I know you like me, it's REALLY OBVIOUS, try and back off a little."

probably.

note: the fact that she's doing it that way and not just yelling at you means she really wants to keep being your friend.

also I mean I could be wrong.

well, theres not much point in caring if youre right or wrong (no offense) as crushes are pretty much a waste of time, either way.

Do people over 30 get crushes? And if they do, isn't that a little creepy?

Are you over 30?

Do people over 30 get crushes? And if they do, isn't that a little creepy?

Yes. No.

WAHT? Everyone gets crushes, unless their heart is as tiny and black as the Grinch.

The capacity is still there to get crushes, the difference I find is not meeting as many people to get crushes on.

I'm not over 30, though: I'm just talking about now vs. 10 years ago.

i thought it was a bit weird/creepy to have a crush at my age (im not yet 30 though, couple of years away yet) but no, i dont see how/why after a certain age, you should or could just 'stop' having crushes. unless youre in a relationship, maybe.

Yes I am over 30, don't really get them so much anymore. The will no longer exists.

What dally said except maybe not the no will part. I just don't really care/notice. I have someone I'm happy with and I can't remember the last time a live person caught my eye enough where I flirted, daydreamed, whatever you do with crushes.

xpost: damn. accident, or lifestyle choice?

Yeah, if you're happy in a relationship, you don't have outside crushes. You can keep having renewed crushes on the same person, though. Those are better, anyway.

I crush on him when he loads the dishwasher without being asked. </lame domesticity>

Yeah, if you're happy in a relationship, you don't have outside crushes.

not true

No, I don't think this is necessarily true either. But I wanted it to be clear that I didn't have a small, black Grinch heart.

Hm. Well, I don't really get crushes now, but then again, I'm over 30.

I'm approaching the mid-thirties-mark and believe I'm still capable of crushes, just not open or interested in them now.

i cant help but think that crushes are a bit adolescent.

They represent a sorta doe-eyed optimism/romanticism that is primarily adolescent, but it's something most people hang onto (albeit in diminishing increments) even as they age.

wtf i am over 30 and i still get crushes fairly often and i am not adolescent or unrealistic or otherwise freakish. the crushes though have diminished in their focal-point-of-life strength, while my imagination remains intense and must be beaten down with intellectual rigour, worries of survival, and repetition of the phrase 'does fuck you sound simple enough?' oh, it is true, one's heart does not shrink but is shrouded. how to be excited about someone new when one's life has already entered these darkened later years? when one knows that a rainy day disturbed by an hour of sunshine is still a rainy day. don't grow up kids, don't grow up.

http://files.myopera.com/Eddie_Lopez/blog/The_More_You_Know.jpg

Hang on what are we defining as crushes here? I'm just talking about any fond/romantic attraction towards another person. Fuck if I'm ever going to shut that out of my life. There's plenty of Milhouse Trayce to go round!

it's probably impossible to shut out those feelings! and if they come in giddy crush form that is okay! i still giggle sometimes even!

can i clarify that

They represent a sorta doe-eyed optimism/romanticism that is primarily adolescent, but it's something most people hang onto (albeit in diminishing increments) even as they age.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, September 29, 2007 1:15 AM

=

me and lots of others will always get crushes and i am cool with that

wtf i am over 30 and i still get crushes fairly often and i am not adolescent or unrealistic or otherwise freakish. the crushes though have diminished in their focal-point-of-life strength, while my imagination remains intense and must be beaten down with intellectual rigour, worries of survival, and repetition of the phrase 'does fuck you sound simple enough?' oh, it is true, one's heart does not shrink but is shrouded. how to be excited about someone new when one's life has already entered these darkened later years? when one knows that a rainy day disturbed by an hour of sunshine is still a rainy day. don't grow up kids, don't grow up.

-- rrrobyn, Saturday, September 29, 2007 2:14 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

whaa

i don't really understand time v well
more of a space person

Dear Robyn.

weird side-effects of crushes = taking up smoking again and being awake for 36 hours straight (admittedly this was a very indirect side-effect)

Going thru a SHITLOAD of sms credit :/

still waiting for txt reply from trayce :\

you're not smsworthy