Pregnancy Rollcall (a sister thread)

I thought this was going to be about people whose sisters are pregnant!

Congrats Rumpie! I don't think I knew this. How far along?

My doc gave me a firm warning that I cannot get pregnant without at least three months head time b/c of my meds. :( I've got to get an IUD. The pill is not reliable in this situation.

Thanks, it's very early days yet, I still have a few weeks until my first scan. I'm bursting with excitement and fear though, I just want the next seven weeks to be over so I can relax and enjoy it!

Has Nath had hers? It seems like just yesterday that she told she was expecting again. Although I'm sure the nine months didn't go quite so fast for her.

Oh, congratulations! Baby in town!

(Nath is still pregnant, but she did announce it after about a week or something...)

a week past due or week past being pregnant? I had planned on knitting/sewing something for the new bebe but time flew by before I knew it!

Alisa, are you on this thread to tell us something?

Dammit, I misspelled your name again. You've got to tell me how it's pronounced, that might help.

I'm hearing conflicting advice about the two hospitals I have the choice of, so far Paisley has the upper hand. A home birth would be my first choice but perhaps not for my first baby.

Is there a way to do a home birth with the option to move to a waiting hospital if necessary?

No! I'm on this thread to keep up with others (Rumpie lives round the corner from me, hence baby in town comment). NO BABIES ROUND HERE THANK YOU!!!

;) I thought so but just wanted to ask. I like keeping up with pregnancies. It's on my mind personally these days so maybe I can live vicariously.

rumpie, is your other option the Southern? I've heard better things about the RAH (infiltration by terrorists notwithstanding).

I like keeping up with pregnancies because it reminds me that I want nothing to do with the whole shebang myself :-)

Yep. I'm more familiar with the Southern so part of me is drawn there.

I'm thinking of looking into a home birth with the option of going into hospital in an emergency but it depends on how supportive my care givers will be.

I've just discovered there's a midwife led birth centre about 20 miles away (Vale of Leven). This sounds perfect, must check it out further.

OK, I'm not a sister but congrats to you anyway!

Yeah, congrats Rumpie!

And to Nath too, I didn't know she was having another baby.

Thanks all!

awww! congrats Rumpie! Im so jealous!!

i think nath is full term but hasnt reached her due date yet.

im not going to get into my opinion of midwive or home births here because this should just be a yay! thread.

Oh but sunny I'd love to know!!

well...admittedly, i don't know a whole lot about home births or birthing centers but they just seem incredibly irresponsible to me. what if something goes really wrong and you or the baby need help fast? you're kind of relying on an ambulance being able to get to you quickly but that isn't always going to happen. maybe someone who has actually done this can say otherwise though.

I know someone who has went through training to be a mid-wife. It's thorough training so I feel like they know what they're doing. A birthing center could be a compromise between home birth and hospital.

Besides, Pamela Lee Anderson had all her children on her bathroom floor so you know, good enough for her.

what if the kid needs surgery or something?

take them to the hospital. I don't think they ever bust out the scalpels right there in delivery room. I'm sure the birthing center would have all the necessary resuscitation type equipment for an emergency.

well not in the delivery room but at least the doc is there and youre in the same building as any equipment, drugs or whatever you might need. and getting to a hospital youre relying on traffic being ok etc etc. why not just be in the hospital to start with? doesn't seem worth the risk just to be able to tell your friends you had a non-hospital birth.

Sunny, I wd probably share your viewpoint if I thought the actual incidence of problem deliveries was high enough! But now I wonder: among healthy mothers that have normal pre-natal care and exams, what're the rates of unforseen problems at childbirth? Ah, well.

The point is, I'm happy to report that my sister's delivery two weeks ago went normally and I am the happy aunt of one 8lb Sebastien. In immediate photos he looked properly red, angry, and smushed like a little prune.

just to be able to tell your friends you had a non-hospital birth.

Oh. Well, no. If that was your reason for choosing home birth you should probably high-tail it back to the hospital. :)

have you read this, Sam?

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/family/story/0,,2169286,00.html

aww Laurel! Congrats on being an Aunt! I feel bad bringing up this stuff here. Rumpie doesn't need me putting the phear in her so early.

Yes, well, anyway people are going to do what they're gonna do, this is not an issue that they feel they can afford to be swayed on, usually -- it runs too deep. Better just to let everyone do her own thing, prob.

yeah, agreed

Congrats Laurel!!

I'm influenced by the high levels of possibly non neccesary intervention in hospitals, I also cringe at the ideas of being hooked up to monitors and made to deliver in bed.

I'd like as non traumatic a birth as possible, but every birth is different, and at this stage every opinion is important to me ;)

I'll try to read it later. I'd be interested in knowing stats if they are out there.

I don't know about in the UK but in the US hospitals are amongst the most germ-ridden places ever. The industry tries to keep it a secret but there are lot of deaths from infections people get while in the hospital. My mother, while in ICU, contracted sepsis and almost died.

That being said no one I know who has had a child in either a hospital or an alternative environment has had any issues. Rumpie has nothing but good things to look forward. :)

Oh yeah, this risk is small small small. i just like to eliminate as much risk as possible. im such a scaredy cat though.

im going to shut up now and get to work on some nominations for 1P3's annual top twenty blondes thread. maybe i'll nominate LAUREL.

Congrats Rumpie!

FWIW my 3 kids were born in RAH and they were excellent with us every time, particularly for the 1st one which was a very traumatic emergency thing.

Thanks for the congratulations! I was also asked to godmother this little thing, which I guess should be a big honor but I'm sort of...feeling unmoved actually? Please that there's a new generation of the fam to mold and corrupt, though -- my aunts and uncles certainly left us a rich legacy in my own generation.

*Pleased

Uh. I should read 1P3 more often, shouldn't I.

I think I might be the godmother of my nephew. I don't really remember as that was seven years ago and my brother/sis-in-law are no longer religious. Be that as it may, G and I have already discussed how we would adopt all 4 of them if anything (god forbid) ever happened to their parents. So I guess that makes us godparents sans church intervention.

I'm influenced by the high levels of possibly non neccesary intervention in hospitals, I also cringe at the ideas of being hooked up to monitors and made to deliver in bed.

I'm studying women's health right now and the medicalization of birth is something we've been concentrating a lot of recently. A lot of women are forced into procedures and medications they would not normally want/need because of pressure from Docs.

What Laurel said is OTM. If the pregnancy is "normal" and there is proper pre-natal care, there is no reason to be scared of a birthing center/midwife especially since most are affiliated with hospitals and will have a backup plan in place. What MM said about the germs at hospitals is also otm and a huge issue.

Once I've finished my degree I'm actually contemplating going to either midwifery school or becoming a birthing coach so this thread is really interesting to me.

Also, CONGRATULATIONS RUMPIE!!!

Congrats Rumpie!

:)

More positives for the RAH. I think the mat there is midwife led too so it may just be the way to go.

Thanks for all info/advice.

Congrats Rumpie! In a very weird way (because I've got my hands full and totally don't want another baby at the minute thank you very much) I'm jealous! I loved most aspects of being pregnant, it's a very special time and it just gets better and better once they're here! (amazing how you can forget how all consuming parenthood is when they smile and laugh at you!)

I had a midwife-led birth centre birth, but it was at our local hospital, so had the best of both worlds. As has been said above, if no problems have been identified in ante-natal care then I think the birth centre option is definitely a safe option. Midwives can generally tell whether a birth is progressing well or not and transfer mothers to hospital in plenty of time if they can see that things are not progressing to plan.

Like you I was a bit wary of a homebirth for my first but if I do go through it again then I'm definitely going to aim for a homebirth.

I used to be and could STILL probably be really militant re the medicalization of labor & delivery etc etc, but honestly in a lot of ways hospitals really aren't so bad anymore, especially if you do your own homework and are firm about birthing plans and so on. So apart from some preferences for solitude, darkness, a different attitude about the event, it's hard to say that any given hospital is worse than any given home situation. Which is awesome, because the option of going the full natural/home route is open to those who want it and/or qualify, but the bulk of the population is still getting hospital care that is CLOSER to a homebirth attitude. That's a win/win!

I'm partial to the idea of waterbirths, myself. ;)

Thanks Vicky, I'm loving it so far despite only being a few weeks along, it's so amazing to think that there's going to be a little baby at the end of this - I keep forgetting, then remembering with a little jolt of excitement!

I'd definitely love the option of a birthing pool Lauel, I think labouring in water would be really relaxing. Keeps all the mess in one place too!!

I mean, having spouses, relatives, doulas present is "new", delivering in your own room and not an OR is "new", having a Jacuzzi tub in yr suite and being able to play your own music and get up and walk and squat and having one of those giant rubber balls to sit on are all "new".... Pitocin is dripped in slowly as a closer simulation to natural onset of contractions instead of as a shot that hits you all at once, techniques like perineal massage are more understood & accepted in a medical setting...many things are better!

I LOVED my waterbirth! Obviously I don't have anything to compare it to but it was fab once I got into the pool!

My next door neighbour gave birth to her daughter the day after Aidan was born - for health reasons she wasn't allowed to use the birth centre so gave birth in the hospital labour ward. I know it's not really fair to compare births as there can be so many variants, but I left with a much better experience than she did.

Oh GOOD, Vicky! I'm glad your experience was so positive, I like to hear that. V sorry for your neighbor -- sometimes these things just get away from you, and it's not a situation where you can go away and think about it, or refuse care, or step back at all, really -- it is ALL SYSTEMS GO in flashing red lights until it's over.

but honestly in a lot of ways hospitals really aren't so bad anymore, especially if you do your own homework and are firm about birthing plans and so on.

Unfortunately from the research I've done regarding women's experience giving birth in hospital settings, I don't think that's necessarily true for the majority of hospitals. I think you're probably right that some are better than they used to be but I think there's still A LOT of work to be done.

A friend of mine recently who recently gave birth did all the homework etc. and had a very firm birthing plan but her two more important requests, that her husband cut the cord and that the babe be placed on her chest before being cleaned up, were still ignored! :-(

AHhh that is sad. My sister's baby was put in her arms immed, and my mother, who had no complaints about her own 4 hospital births even though they weren't as forward-thinking, was so moved by the phenomenon of baby going straight to mother's heartbeat and smell and body temperature...it was apparently an extremely affecting time.

wow i like this thread though i will be un-caught up in about 2 hours.

congrats to all the baby people!

what mm said about the germs is otm. i have a really awful horror story about a friend of our family's delivery that turned into her contracting a terrible infection and encountering other very uncomfortable problems in the hospital. my sister also has a 20 min rant about why hospitals are bad because docs are coming off extremely long shifts (this may be different in the uk) and the fact that an epidural screws up your ability to properly produce the baby. i never thought much about it til i had this conversation but when/if i ever end up choosing a delivery spot, i will definitely do lots of research.

birthing pools actually seem really kind of ideal... i think the squatting action would help things along and be good for the pain (though i know nothing of labor pains so i can't really say).

I don't really trust homebirths, but then I'm a hyper-extreme-ultra hypochondriac. Thank god, I am because not only was Ophelia miconial (she... uh shat before she came into this world) which can be extremely dangerous but I also tore some skin (inside) which needed to be fixed PRONTO and I lost tons of blood. But I don't think homebirth is as dangerous as I envision it. If all is good, then usually it goes well. But usually doesn't mean always which I don't like. :-) Then again problems can arise in the hospital.

I'm now full-term, meaning I am in my 38th week. This means that if she arrives today she's not a preemie.

(Nath is still pregnant, but she did announce it after about a week or something...)

So so true. I can't help keeping quiet about it all.

Tuomas didn't know I was pregnant? Shit, didn't I talk enough (too much) about it? hahaha

Glad to still see you Nath! Hang in there. . .

ooooh nath, so exciting! again!!

xxx posts yeah you'd definitely have to research the hospital. I know Australian hospitals (and i THINK this is the same for the UK) are mostly state run "public" hospitals where the care is somewhat second rate and the attitude of the docs and nurses is ridiculous. i had beeps at a for profit hospital in the US and I assume a lot of the reason my experience was so good is that I was treated as a paying patient. Anything I wanted I got and I wasnt given any shit about it. I've heard horrible stories from family members and friends in Aust about nurses calling them wimps and pathethic for requesting an epidural or not being able to (literally not being able to as opposed to just not wanting to) breastfeed. if that were the case, then yeah, id be looking at alternatives.

as it was for me i hit a really rough spot in my labor that the nurses had no idea how to diagnose or treat. my doctor came in, fixed it and had me back on track in a about a minute. i hate to think what would have happened if he hadn't been there. for that reason alone im so glad i was in a hospital. plus i really liked being in hospital. it was kind of fun - food brought to you, painkillers at my request, people showing me how to look after the beeps. it took a lot of stress off a time that is a crazy steep learning curve and a huge life adjustment. i would have stayed an extra week if I could have afforded it.

also, i know birthing plans and who cuts the cord and where the baby goes seem like huge things when youre pregnant but in the end they dont really mean shit. its nice to have your baby close to you straight away and its nice to have your guy cut the cord but once its over all you care about is that you have a healthy happy kid.

But usually doesn't mean always which I don't like. :-)

haha this is totally me too.

once its over all you care about is that you have a healthy happy kid.

Yeah, def. And y'know I am all for natural, drug-free labor & deliv but if you end up with a mother who is exhausted and has run out of the hormonal bonding rush b/c of pain and time passing, and has no energy left for bonding or nursing or being enthused/affectionate and is starting to RESENT having to deliver at all, then obv that is a GIANT LOSE situation. It's so individual...

The biggest defense for having...should I call it "holistic" care? is that they make a priority of NOT GETTING to the point where drugs and/or non-necessary medical intervention are the only good choices, because their goal is not just to get a baby delivered as quickly as reasonably possible, their goal is to make the experience GOOD for mom (and dad or etc) even if that takes longer, or is more work for the staff, or requires someone extra to, y'know, hold mom's hand and be yelled at and maybe yell back and read her closely for physiological responses that machines won't show. Blah blah blah....

my wife's due early December - we're planning on a pretty holistic/drug-free birth at the local hospital (down the street, w/midwives and bathtubs and all that).

where the care is somewhat second rate

The NHS gets a load of a bad press (because obviously you don't tend to write to the papers if you get good care) but in my experience it's been pretty terrific. My mother-in-law (who had paid for private healthcare) got fantastic treatment for leukemia on the NHS (recommended to her by her private doctors!), as did my mother for her heart problems. My father's care right up to the end of his life was frankly astounding and our two trips to the hospital for births both went extremely well despite the first one ending in an emergency c-section. Obviously I may have been lucky but I just wanted to say that it's not all bad.

I am kind of confused by Sunny's statement above about using a private American hospital. You always have to pay here. (But maybe she meant county hospitals which tend to take the non-insured more often - who will still get billed they just don't usually pay.)

No, I'm pretty sure she was comparing the US to the Australian system, which on the NHS model...

What happens in the US if you roll up to a hospital with minutes away from birth, does everything just go on 'pause' while they check your insurance? Presumably not, so how do they know you can pay? Sorry if this sounds like an idiotic question to Americans! Also ER, how does that work?

they take you in and bill you later. if you can't pay, welcome to debtors prison (okay not really, but more or less)

Can I just cackle when I hear "drug-free." I was tempted but after more than 12 hours of labour, FUCK THAT. Now I will try to postpone it as long as possible, but if the contractions go up to 25 (in strength) it's EPIDURAL, BABY! I don't think I could have managed it without it. I'm a wimpy bitch, I guess. :-)

Shakey, congrats by teh way!

The US has non-profit and for-profit hospitals. Humana was the first for-profit in the US back in the late 70s, supposed to be the great new economic healthcare model, etc etc etc. The majority of US hospitals are still organized as non-profits.

(xpost to something upthread, obv.)

Congrats to all you expectant parents!!!

Cackle away! Every labor is different, cannot say that too many times. And a mother who ends L&D unhappy is going to have to make an effort not to let that unhappiness affect how she feels about the baby itself -- post-partum depression is only one of the possib rough spots there -- so women should get what they want/need without having to fight anyone for it. For god's sake, THEY'RE A LITTLE BUSY, HERE.

But...drug-free requires a significant investment of your OWN resolve & skill at what is pretty much the same as bio-feedback -- it makes L&D very much not something you can think of as "handed off" to the medical professionals. My mom was frustrated with my sister for a while during labor b/c sis just...wasn't owning her management of the contractions, wasn't able to find a mental or physical "center" and push the pain or urges away from her/figure out how to get her breathing & other stuff to work FOR her instead of against her. I know that might sound kind of lame and new age-y but from what I hear from moms I believe it.

sam, laurel is right. in Aust public hospitals are "free" (your care paid with tax dollars). I was just speculating that the service, so to speak, (attitude, whatever) might be better in american for profit hospitals because you are paying for it.

ned, when i think about it i think my father was in a public hospital when he had a brain tumor and his doctor was incredible. ive just heard bad things about maternity ward docs and nurses in Aust. Again, depends on the individual docs/nurses/hospital.

Congrats to Shakey! ill this be kid number 1?

and yeah, US hospitals bill you later. the bill is sometimes negotible though.

*will (not ill)

Sorry, I really don't want to sound like I'm criticizing anybody's birthing experience, I just mean that even if everything goes relatively "well" and doesn't take twelve hours(!), sticking to your drug-free plan is always going to take a lot out of you/your resolve.

Actually it took a lot longer. It started at 8 pm the evening before and ended at 11 PM. So more than 24 hrs of labour. Delivery was only 8 minutes though. Apparently this is not out of the ordinary for a first time birthing experience. That said, I do understand what you are saying, if you really focus then maybe it'll be a lot easier to cope with the pain. But as I had such strong contractions, no effacement, no breaking of water, it seemed like a never ending story in a way. And, fuck it, I couldn't take the pain anymore. :-)

I do feel the last weeks are a very surreal experience: you are basically waiting for such a life changing experience (especially for the first time). Sometimes I feel like everyone is looking at my belly (like in Aliens hahaha). I also laugh at the memory of advising Vicky (while in her last weeks) to SLEEP as much as possible. Now I get to hear it and I know people are right but you just can't. Partially because your belly (and in my case extremely bloated feet/legs) don't really facilitate it.

We're trying to prepare Ophelia for her sister but at her age you can't really explain it that well. We tell her all the time that there's a baby on the way, there's a sister in mommy's belly. Today we asked her:"What's in mommy's belly." Her answer? "Kaka" (kaka= shit) hahahaha

Hospitals in the US will treat and bill you later but the level of care you get is often (sadly) in direct correlation with what kind of insurance you do or don't have. Also, doctors can refuse to see patients will certain types of insurance and/or Medicaid. This doesn't happen in the ER which is one of the many reasons uninsured or Medicaid patients often use the ER as their primary care physician.

also, i know birthing plans and who cuts the cord and where the baby goes seem like huge things when youre pregnant but in the end they dont really mean shit. its nice to have your baby close to you straight away and its nice to have your guy cut the cord but once its over all you care about is that you have a healthy happy kid.

I can see your point and I can't claim to know different myself since I haven't yet had kids but there are a lot of women out there for whom unhappy birth experiences are a very very big deal even if it is over something that seems relatively small. I guess everyone just processes these things differently.

Congrats to all you pregnant ILXORS!

xpost re: births:

I've done both kinds of births - the first one with an epidural and the second one was so fast that there wasn't time for it. I far preferred the epidural one, to be honest. But the important thing that I got from both experiences is that, while it is good to have a tentative birth plan and know what to expect in general, it is NOT something that you can entirely control.

And if it's your first, you really can't anticipate what it's going to be like. So don't get to attached to one plan (i.e. "I *will* do it without drugs, I *will* have an epidural, I *definitely won't need a C-section..." = way too definitive.)

It's a journey and the map isn't totally clear, and you never know when you're going to have to take one of the detours. (Ugh, metaphors.)

Yeah, definitely. I suspect, though, that if anything goes wrong and you almost don't leave the hospital with a baby (or almost don't leave the hospital) that you don't give a shit who cut the cord. Worrying about yr childbirth "experience" is unquestionably a luxury, I just happen to think it's a very worthwhile one.

Whoops, xp to ENBB.

Ha ha, Laurel - my husband REFUSED to cut the cord! He was like "wtf, this is not bonding, yuck!" I would have done it myself, but I think they thought I was joking. (Or maybe it was an angle thing...)

And yeah - I do think worrying/planning for your birth experience is a worthwhile luxury, actually. I just think it's important to consider some of the less likely stuff. (For example, I never thought I'd have a preemie, but I did. I got to hold him for a couple of minutes before they took him to the NICU. My husband carried him there, so it was lucky that we'd decided to have another friend along - she stayed with me. But a lot of people thought I was crazy to have invited a friend to Alex's birth!)

Hospitals in the US will treat and bill you later but the level of care you get is often (sadly) in direct correlation with what kind of insurance you do or don't have.

Definitely. I went to an ER once with insanely high fever. Turned out I had a severe kidney infection. The dr who saw me said I needed to be admitted and get IV Drips, etc. A few agonizing hours later another, higher-ranked, doctor came by and said b/c I was uninsured they couldn't admit me. He gave me a box of antibiotic samples and sent me on my way. They still billed me $1200 for all that.

xpost We're not really allowed a second (or third...) person in the delivery room. They sometimes make an exception if you want to have the delivery filmed (which I'd NEVER EVER want myself).

Early on in my pregnancy (with O) I asked the OBGYN if he knew if I would have a Caesarian. I think he suspected (like many women) that I wanted a C-section. I didn't really, I just wanted to know what to expect. He was a little bit angry, but now, knowing what a C-section really involves, I can understand his POV. That said, it was somewhat a little difficult to accept that I didn't have control over my body. I really had to explain it to my husband why I felt strange about it all. I understand that this is a C-section is dangerous, but I felt a little bit that it was all beyond my control. That said I wouldn't want to trade places, birthing naturally is just such an amazing experience. In a way I feel like a "complete" woman having gone through it.

If I'm not mistaken a delivery costs 300 euros (which with the strong dollar makes it sound more expensive, so just think about 300 dollars). I took a single room which amounts to about 1000 euros. I know that might sound expensive, but I prefer some privacy. I'll do it again. :-) I also think it's a benefit to other women who won't hear me moan when breastfeeding (and thus moaning). hah.

Wow, I swear that at the hospitals I delivered at that I could have invited a marching band in and there would have been no objection (as long as they weren't interfering or causing me distress). That being said, if you aren't allowed anyone other than your partner, that does keep you from the situations where someone is trying to invite themselves. (Apparently there are mother-in-laws out there who actually try to do this... ugh.)

Giving birth IS freaking amazing, no doubt about it. And I think that is probably true for every type of birth.

Re: cost. We looked at the bills from Alex's birth and 3 week hospital stay after it was all over: it came to nearly $10,000. This was in 1998. Our out of pocket was only $100, though, because we had AWESOME insurance. But a 3 week stay in the NICU, plus a more technical labor and delivery = insanely, mind-bogglingly expensive.

Yes, we have pretty great health insurace, *if* you pay for it, which many people fail to do. I think you even get most of it back (from the 300 euros anyway, I think I got most of the 1000 euros back as well though, can't remember).

In a way I wish I could invite my mom, but I could understand if my husband objected. It's something which binds husband and wife, but I wish I could give/share the experience with my mom as well. She feels so extremely guilty for living in Japan...

Nathalie, that feeling like a normal pregnancy & birth process is out of your control and should/could be left up to the doctors is, if you'll forgive me, pretty much exactly what's been wrong with the institution for basically a few hundred years.

Hmmm, Nathalie, do you think you could ask your hospital/doctor/midwife (whatever) if they could make an exception - assuming your husband doesn't object? I really liked having an extra support person. Plus then if labor gets long, they can get a bathroom break or a snack without feeling they are leaving you alone with medical staff, some of whom might be total strangers.

As for the binding... yeah. I have to give A. mega-credit for pushing on my back really HARD at my insistence when I was in labor with Julia. He was awesome.

ugh, xpost

But also in the defense of any woman who feels like this giant responsibility has been dumped on them and WTF FTW to do about it...that's what other women, labor coaches, Lamaze teachers, female relatives with children, doulas ETC ETC ARE FOR! It's true, bodies are incredibly WEIRD and reproduction is one of their freakier aspects. Plus if you spend too much time in your head about it, I can imagine getting really mind-fucked over things that ultimately there isn't time to worry about. It helps to have older & more experienced wimmin-folk to tell you that you can do it, just like every other woman who ever had children. :) It's good to be knitted into the fabric, I think!

Laurel, I understand what you are saying, although I didn't express myself completely the right way. But you are right. :-) OTM so to say. I should have talked more about it with women, that way I would know what it really entailed. Also I think I wasn't against C-sections as my mom had one and was very positive about it. I'm happy though. Our employee's crackhead mom said to her when our employee found out she needed a C-section: "COME TO JAPAN so you can have a natural delivery." As a result she fell into a depression (not completely due to it, but it did *help* the PNDepression). This angered me so much. WTF does that mother have the gall to think that our OBGYN - employee and I share the same one - would recommend a C-section if it wasn't necessary? I know in the US they decide for it quite quickly, but our OBGYN is very much against'em (unless it's needed of course). He had told her she was too narrow, so did this crazy mom think she would suddenly *widen* and be able to push a baby through her vagina? GRRRRR.

Sara, I... I did bring it up, but as much as I'd like my mom to be there with me, I also wish to only enjoy it with my husband. I know that doesn't make much sense though. :-) And in a way I am happy that I don't have the option, as I know they won't let me anyway. When we went the first time, my parents drove me to the hospital. Once inside, they quickly urged my parents to go home. :-)

Freaky now as my parents don't have a car, nor do we! What to do if my waters break in the middle of the night, right? I guess calling the ambulance or something. hah.

Laurel, I was COMPLETELY freaked when I was pregnant with my first baby - partly because I thought I was going to have a healthy pregnancy and it turned out to be very unhealthy (24 hour "morning" sickness for fist 20 weeks, then I caught influenza and consequently wound up with ear infections, then I started having panic attacks - and then gave birth too early).

I spent a lot of time reading birth stories, going to birth classes, practicing relaxation exercises, etc. But the one thing that I read that was ultimately most useful said that a lot of women go looking for that one piece of information they don't have yet that is going to get them through the experience... and that one piece of information doesn't exist. Basically, your body knows how to do it, and what you don't know your support people (medical and otherwise) will help you with. That helped me a ton.

Nathalie - I think it should be exactly however you want it to be! :)

Wowow, Sara, it sounds like your first preg was MISERABLE. Sad, sad face. My mom said there was a moment when she was sitting alone at home during her first pregnancy (with me), thinking (too much, probably) about what it was going to mean to actually push this baby out and started to feel the panic rising and she wanted to run around the house shaking her hands and yelling "I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO IT, GET IT OUT"!!! Hahahhaa. And this from a woman who thought she was put on this EARTH to have children.

I'm convinced that the ages old practice of spending every spare moment sewing & knitting & preparing for the baby is mostly a way of keeping busy: when there's practical, real-world work to do, it's harder to get fucked in the head about future possibilities you have no control over.

I had extreme baby blues. I also felt taht I was put on this earth to have kids, or at the very least I had an intense love for children. When I had Ophelia the first days, I felt so guilty because I didn't feel any real "connection" with her. I think this was due in part because they whisked her away (because she was miconial and they had to do the APGAR test) which freaked me out completely. I wanted to yell: "GIVE ME MY BABY!!!! NOW YOU BASTARDS"

Now I realize that 1 if you are being stitched up and 2 you have a miconial baby, they need to take care of both the mom's and baby's health. Secondly a mother-baby bond grows. It doesn't (always) happen right away.

I'm so glad O turned out to be safe & healthy, Nathalie! And yeah, that bonding thing -- that's one of those things that people can feel really bad about if they DON'T have it naturally, and no one should be feeling guilty or insufficient as a mother because they didn't get some chemical reaction at the precise moment of receiving baby in their arms...so it's a delicate subject to put too much importance/desirability on that phenomenon, b/c it can make women who DON'T experience it feel pretty bad (see also: breastfeeding, in a big, BIG way).

But at the same time I think you have to admit that in an IDEAL delivery, that chemical flood would happen and new mom would be on Cloud 9 and blissful and bonding etc etc blah blah. It's like...you have to hope for the best (because OF COURSE you want the best for yr baby) at the same time as you don't count on it, because nursing disappointment is just too damaging.

Well, no, in most/many cases women have the baby blues, Laurel, due to hormonal "imbalance", tiredness,... This natural bonding is my opinion a romantic view. I realize in hindsight I will lose "memory" of this experience. But in a way I don't want to because I want my friends (who will be pregnant in the future) to know the baby blues is actually pretty normal. The nurses told us in the hospital (during a lecture) that baby blues happen for most women ("a lot of tears will follow, trust us!"). In some cases there's even a form of psychosis (?) and those women need immediate treatment to get out of that state.

I mean, immediate bonding of course.

xpost Laurel - I'm not too upset about that first pregnancy anymore. I'm just glad it's over and that Alex is fine now. The second had its challenges, too (I fell and shattered my elbow and broke my wrist), but overall it was a lot less scary, plus I was able to eat without throwing up. HUGE improvement!

Ironically, I felt fantastic after Alex was born - even though he was early and I had an epidural, plus I'd been stuck with what seemed like 100 other needles (IV antibiotics, betamethosone to try to mature his lungs, etc.). Julia came so fast that I didn't have time for the epidural I requested - which was fine - but then I had retained placenta and hemorrhaged and wound up needing a D & C and 2 units of blood. I was anemic and felt crappy for the next 2 months.

I am apparently a lightning rod for bad pregnancy luck. It all happened to me so that it won't happen to anyone else! ;) Nevertheless, I'm done with pregnancies. (Although I do kind of miss some of the process - especially gentle baby flutter kicks!)

Ah yes, excessive bleeding, needing 2 units of blood. Same here. Dentist tried to worry me when, a few weeks ago, he said I didn't stop bleeding. Asshole. Everything was normal (after bloodcheck).

Good lord, Nathalie - I had forgotten that happened to you! Well, good to know the blood tests turned out okay. I suppose it's good to have a dentist be thorough - it's just so easy to worry when you are pregnant.

(I think we'd all worry less if we had, like, windows to our uteri or something... you know - so you could SEE that everything looks okay!)

That's odd, I've never heard of the "baby blues" immed post-delivery. My mom says every time she was just transported on a ridiculously happy raft of satisfaction with her labor and all that hard work and delight at the result being a baby!! Even though they took the babies AWAY FROM YOU in those days, she was basically high for hours. Says she didn't even notice the afterbirths or being stitched up for tears -- or rather, she was aware of it but she just didn't CARE.

I mean, normally your brain is just CRAZY with oxytocin at that point, especially if the baby latches on to breastfeed at all b/c that stimulation produces even more of the chemical. Physicallsy speaking, it brings about uterine contractions to help expel the afterbirth...emotionally speaking, it's key in all kinds of human meetings, everything from orgasm to casual social interaction. Its presence in yr brain encourages you to trust people, apparently..??. This is what I mean by how crazy bodies are!

I think it's different for everyone. I had the "birth high" with Alex, but not with Julia. That may have been circumstances (since I was still contracting after J. was born due to the retained placenta). But still, the massive hormone shift is bound to affect different people differently.

Like Sara said, this is urgent and key: every delivery is different. And, yes, baby blues does happen not right after birthing,but in the days following the delivery. But I did completely freak out as they whisked Ophelia away. In a sense it's tied to what you said upthread. I think we should be more exposed to the experience (beforehand) and have a "happy" situation, not this clinical cold let's push the baby out kinda situation. Although I feel it's safer, I think a home birth must be... more loving in a way. Does that make sense? Did I say that right?

These stories bring back Mrs T's experience! 36 hours of labour for Child No.1, mostly at home and then dash to the hospital because it looked like she had run out of steam (which she had for obvious reasons) and ended up in a c-section. Of course with one of those you do get quite a few people in the room! Even so it was an amazing experience and the surgeon guy was wonderful despite the fact he been doing it all day he seemed pretty much as in awe with the whole miracle of birth thing as we were. No.2 went much smoother, no c-section, a lot of gas and air, no epidural (but only because by the time we got to the hospital it was too late for one - which is something to bear in mind) all over and done with in a couple of hours. In that room we had a midwife, me, Mrs.T's mum, although obviously in a hospital there was a doctor around and she came in a couple of times and was very helpful.

The funniest thing was stepping out into a corridor at that back of the room which was made so that if necessary they could whisk you out of that room down to theatre really quickly and of course in this corridor you could hear women in other rooms all swearing and shouting at their loved ones!

Ok, I'm getting all tearful like a big fat baby now just thinking about all this. Bottom line is - it *is* an amazing experience. I know it's easy for me to say being as all I had to do was sit there holding her hand but seriously big hugs to all expectant mums and enjoy the ride!

Oh def. Ever since being pregnant (and delivering) Ophelia I ALWAYS get teary eyed about my and other people's birthing experience.

That said, I'm scared shitless even though it's my second time. Worrier in me can't help but... well... worry.

How long do you need to have an epidural? Maybe they can hook me up already? ;-)

Nathalie, when I didn't see your name upthread I completely assumed you were in labour somewhere!

I just have to mention one more thing - this slightly surreal moment when after the birth we had the same thing as Nathalie in that Child2 had gone to the toilet mid-birth and this pediatrician came in to do the checks, and she was this middle-aged Muslim lady dressed from head-to-toe in a white, and it was really like she was this angel who kind of floated in, just quietly did what she had to do, swaddled the baby and gave her back with a little smile and "this baby is totally fine" before drifting out again, it was such a beautiful moment of calm after the storm.

OK, I'm welling up again.

awwww

there was a kiddie in the laundromat this afternoon talking to me about dinosaurs and rocketships and his toy pirate (that was not really a pirate, but go kiddo for the imagination!!!) and i started thinking about this thread cause his mom was no bigger than a toothpick and i was really concerned about how she'd managed to get him out!

This natural bonding is my opinion a romantic view. [....] I mean, immediate bonding of course.

i completely agree with this. beeps went straight on my chest(man, she made this unrelenting eye contact with me and when they pulled her away she grabbed my gown so hard she almost took me with her) and i didn't feel this magical immediate busting with love bond either. its one of those things that is talked about a lot and i think it can make a lot of new mothers feel really bad when it doesn't happen for them.

my husband REFUSED to cut the cord! He was like "wtf, this is not bonding, yuck!"

haha i think pp was a little reluctant too but he did it in the end. at one point when beeps' head was coming out one of nurses said to me 'do you want to see?' me: 'NO!'.

Re: the whole bonding thing. Yes, it does happen for some people, but it just doesn't happen to everyone. The unfortunate thing is that some women feel like there's something wrong if it doesn't happen for them, and then others feel like they've missed a huge chance to "bond" if their babies need medical assistance elsewhere. It's just so individual.

With the umbilical cord, I thought A. might be willing to cut the cord with the second baby, but no dice. I DID want to see Alex being born, though; it was kind of cool - and great to see the progress I was making. With Julia there was almost no time to get the doctor into the room, much less find a mirror. Besides, pushing without drugs was pretty involving on its own; 3 pushes and she was out - and wow, I could totally feel the progress, so no need for encouragement.

3 pushes and she was out - and wow, I could totally feel the progress, so no need for encouragement.

I watched my 2nd niece being born. That was pretty cool.

We need more pregnant ILX0rs. We could start a playgroup.

How could a father possibly not bond with his baby? Why does he need to go through artificial steps to do so? Sounds really weird to me (though I haven't been there yet).

Why is it artificial? Seems pretty natural to me.

First docs appointment tomorrow, don't really know what to expect, apparently some docs don't even confirm it anymore.

They will probably just do an echo (?), blood pressure, give you a cup for a urine sample (next time) or ask for one now, talk about how you should eat/drink, weigh,... Probably ask you when you had your last period so they can calculate when your due date is.

I would ask for a print out of the echo. Scan it. Post it here. :-)

Me? I'm feeling crapola. Headache, sick,... I feel like I'm running on such low energy, how will I ever pull through AFTER delivery? I'm trying to rest as much as possible. A little bit easier now as Ophelia is staying with my parents in law. *sigh* God, I'm a moaning b#tch. :-)

How could a father possibly not bond with his baby?

Well, we experienced a rather reluctance of Ophelia to be handled by anyone BUT me. We suspect it was the fact I am the mother who also breastfed, so she was not only used to my rhythm/smell/whatever but also the fact that I was the one who fed her. So it must have made it difficult at times for my husband not being able to stop her crying. That said, he's the bestest father evah. He's so great with her. :-)

Awww, if I were you I'd be making the most of the Ophelia free time and wallowing in a bath with chocolate and frothy magazines within easy reach.

Rumpie, depending on how far along they won't do anything, they might only get you on the system and make a booking in appointment with the midwife, and they definitely don't confirm it any more, they just ask when your last period was so they can confirm how far along you likely are and book your next appointments, scans etc. accordingly.

Care differs around the country, in our surgery there was a weekly antenatal clinic and you see the midwife. In some areas you have to go to the hospital for your antenatal appointments. Your doctor will at least tell you what the system is for you.

Whatever, nothing at all to worry about, just sit back and enjoy the ride!

Cheers guys!

True. We had/have monthly scans. Even now they still have a scan, mostly to check if your placenty is alright.

Enjoy those first weeks cause after that the morning sickness might appear. Some women have it, some don't. If you are the latter, count yourself lucky. :-)

Oh yeah, I am also apparently suffering from varicose veins. Bummah. It'll disappear once I deliver the baby (hopefully anyway). :-) In a way I am less AND more nervous. I know what I'm up against - contractions! labour! pushing baby through vagina! - but it also is a comfort as I know what I'm in for. Well, hopefully it'll be as easy as the first time. Although I had +24 hrs of labour, it all went rather well. Xrossing fingaz it'll be as easy. :-)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2115/1545365176_90697c7a8f.jpg

Pregnant belly!

I had the freakiest dream: the baby sort of pushed herself all the way out so I could see her legs/arms (still inside the belly). I felt a bit like in Aliens. ;-)

Weird dream! Second labors are *usually* faster, and pushing stage usually much shorter. (Sometimes this can also translate to more intense).

Rumpie - enjoy your first appointment and enjoy being able to pee into a cup with any accuracy. When I was aboutg 7 months pregnant I once went to a doctor's appointment wearing a skirt and tights - peeing in the cup was NOT EASY. It was, however, kind of funny, even if I was the only one in the room enjoying the joke...

I pushed O out in EIGHT minutes. How much shorter can it be? :-)

Wow, that is FAST for a first baby. AWESOME!

I don't know how much shorter; J. was 3 pushes. I didn't have a great sense of how long that took, though: I was a bit distracted! ;)

It took a bit longer as they asked me to stop (so they could *hoover* her poop away). hahaha I could have probably just *ejected* her at 2000 miles an hour. hahaha It was a bit weird. You expect it to last longer and then it's like: woha already here? :-)

I was pushing for 45 minutes but it felt like 48 hours, it was so frustrating!

LOL re peeing in the container, I'd forgotten about that already! I used to hate it when they stuck the test stick in and then not empty the wee, as I'd forget to take it out of my bag when I got home and I'd walk around with a container of wee for days!!!

My first was 45 minutes, but I can't complain about the experience since he was only a little over 5 pounds (he was 6 weeks early) and I felt nothing due to the epidural. But if I could have felt it, I would have been frustrated, I think. I kind of hate all those pregnancy books that claim that pushing feels "good." It does, in a weird way - but it still HURTS, too.

LOL they had you take your urine with you... I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh that. Here we just pee at the clinic in a disposable container and they dump it after they check the test stick. (Here = Minnesota, USA)

Ah here we need to bring our morning pee with us. I forgot a few times to pee in the morning. sometimes I took a *later* sample, sometimes I completely forgot. They didn't really care all that much as my blood pressure was GREBT (now it was 12 over 6 or something). Sometimes there was protein in it, but I think mostly due to uh... discharge.

Urgh, no epidural means lots more pain when pushing? I hope I'll be in time to have it. I'm not too keen to push with too much pain. :-) Ah hell, we'll see... It's nearing so fast. Nervous, me? Oh HELLS YEAH. :-)

Hmmm, I don't know if no epidural means LOTS more pain; the epidural I had completely eradicated all feeling, so anything would have been more painful, really. And seriously, if your pushing stage with your first baby was only 8 minutes, you are GOLDEN. It will be FIIIINE.

I was nervous with my second, too - it's easier because you know what to expect and it's harder because you know what to expect...

Ah, morning pee versus just anytime of the day pee. It's all so clear now! ;) I never had protein spill, but I did have enough bacteria once to freak out a non-ob/gyn nurse who had floated in. She was determined that I had a bladder infection - which I've never had and which I had no symptoms of. When the doctor came in I asked and he said that it was almost impossible to get a "clean catch" sample in pregnant women (probably partly for the reason you cite, Nath; probably also it's just physically tricky). Anyway, all was well & I was relieved.

It's kind of disgusting when you think about it - like Nat we have to wee in the container at home, sometimes you'd be lucky and you'd get a new container, but I think I only had three containers over the whole 28 weeks of antenatal appointments. Bleuch!

Nat, I know everyone's different, but when it came to pushing I didn't find it that painful, just an effort. Just in case you don't get there in time for the epi!

It's a good kind of hurt... in a weird way, I wish I would have had to push a little longer so that I could remember it better.

xpost Well, if you hear my gran talking about it, she says it was the WORST thing ever and it made her decide never to have kids again. Bitch. She always reminded us (and my mom in particular) when it was my mom's birthday. I don't think anyone is/was further removed from "momminess" as she is.

It's night and baby's kicking up a storm over here. :-)

8 minutes?? three pushes?? 45 minutes??? I was pushing for THREE HOURS with Beeps. She really didn't want to come out.

oh, and your belly looks great, nath!

It's night and baby's kicking up a storm over here. :-)

That baby wants out!

I think my Mum might win the pushing contest - she squeezed me out in a oner (international oarswomen have champion stomach muscles). I don't think I've said congratulations to Rumpie yet, so congratulations Rumpie!

Hi all, just had my first docs appointment, it went great. He answered a few questions for me and urged me to make my booking in appointment with the midwife for the 24th (I'll only be in my seventh week by then!)

Still hanging in there Nath? Surely to God it won't be long now! Do you know what you're expecting this time?

Was reading an article about acknowledging 'gender disappointment'. It's not shameful to say you'd prefer one sex or another apparently.

I'm struggling to decide if I agree, I guess some reasons are more valid than others for wanting a baby of a certain sex.

My father had six girls, ha ha, I was his last hope of a boy. What a shame....

I was pushing for THREE HOURS with Beeps.

Yikes - sorry to hear that. Maybe Beeps is stubborn - and that is a more typical pushing time. That would be REALLY frustrating, though. If you do it again, it will likely be a lot faster...

rumpie, we really did prefer a girl for our second, as we already had a boy, although we would have been fine with either. My MIL, on the other hand, seemed REALLY committed to the idea that we have a girl. (She actually told my SIL right after she had her boy, "well, you'll have a girl next time.") We read and followed the book How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby, and we got a girl, so you could argue that it worked... but hey, if it helped at all, it maybe upped our chances only a bit.

Getting the pressure off myself and my SIL to produce a girl was good, we didn't have to go through the circumcision argument with my parents again (we didn't do it with Alex; they were insistent that we should), and we didn't have to agree on another boy name (turns out my husband hates most boy names).

So we did have a preference, but would have been happy with either a girl or a boy. My MIL... I'm not sure. ;)

Still hanging in there Nath? Surely to God it won't be long now! Do you know what you're expecting this time?

Yes, labour and contractions and lots of epidurals. hahaha Just kidding. We're having a girl. I honestly don't/didn't care about the gender. I can now understand when people say they have a preference, but personally I really welcome both. A boy would have been great as well, especially for my husband and father (in law), but I was happy to hear it she was a healthy baby. That's what matters to me most. Also because they are so close together, a girl is SUPERgreat, we're hoping they'll bond and become the bestest of girlfriends. :-)

I don't think there is a problem with gender disappointment as long as you don't drag it with you. If you can let go and accept that your wish wasn't fulfilled, I think it's perfectly right to wish for a boy/girl. I mean, let's be realistic, if you already had, say, a few boys, then it's more than human to want a girl.

Rumpie have you looked at babycenter.com or babycenter.co.uk? They are AWESOME. I subbed to the latter. They send you emails about once a month (and in the last months every week I think). They give you lots of tips on what to expect, what to eat,... Even after you delivered you can learn a lot about your baby and even how to regain your body back and *stuff*.

cosign naths babycenter props

i originally wanted a boy but i just LOVE having a girl now.

what is your actual due date, nath?

I'll third the babycentre rec, I've found the forums really useful as well - they have a forum for people due the same month as you - very handy.

Aye, I've been enjoying babycentre and babyworld for the past couple of weeks, used babycentre to find out the due date initially.

It's good to lurk on the forums and encouraging to see other women in the same stage.

26th of October. my birthday is the 28th of October. I'd love it to be on the same day as me. :-)

Fuck it, she can come. My legs are extremely bloated. It's hard standing up even for an hour. My ankles hurt, I think, due to the water retention. I know that once the baby's here, there's sleep deprivation and whatnot, but damn it this Michelin suit I am wearing is getting a tad on my nerves. :-)

Ah Nath you have my great sympathy, I *hated* those last days of pregnancy (esp. the 10 days after my due date), the swollen feet, the aching knees, the not being able to bend over...

Have you tried any of the time-honoured methods of bringing on labour? ;-)

Also congrats Rumpie! Are you the only expectant ILXor at the moment then? or have I missed anyone else upthread?

Uh, no, I do want a curry though. They claim rubbing your nipples also brings on labour. Hmm.
At least I don't have the pelvic pain! I am happy for that. :-) Reflux, no sleep during night time, feeling a bit sicky,... though. *sigh* Most of the people I know who were due around the same time have already delivered. :-) I'm also worrying like mad about the baby's health. Of course I notice docs and programs about babies (and their problematic health) all the time now. :-)

Off to get some Gaviscon for my reflux.

oh, 28th October is our wedding anniversary!

(also, Amber's birthday is the day after ours)

My booking in appt is in an hours time! I feel weird today, after barfing for a week my morning sickness has vanished. I miss it's reassuring presence..!

Nath - hot bath, hot sex and hot curry, all tipped to bring on labour.

Good luck!

Meg, I reckon there's just three of us (so far!). How far along are you?

A big long walk Nath! My contractions started 4 hours after getting home from a monster late night session wandering around IKEA!

Hope you get a lovely midwife this afternoon Rumpie

Rumpie, I'm 17 months along... my 8-month-old boy is napping upstairs as I type :)

Funnily enough we did have a pregnancy scare this month -- despite the fact I'm still breastfeeding, my periods came back in August, but this month I was two weeks late and got a bit panicky. Luckily it's turned up today, I am about 1% disappointed and 99% bloody relieved.

meg, i guess howie and beeps are only a couple of weeks appart in age. i cant rememeber exactly. anyway, i was trying to get preggers again last august! didnt work out though and now for some medical reasons we have to wait until at least may next year. sucky. more babies for me asap, please.

I keep veering wildly between wanting another one asap and thinking no please no more EVER. Probably depending on how much of a horror Alice is being at the time...

I was very much ready to have a second after she turned 1 year. We struck lucky the first month of trying. I am extremely happy of course but it was def a WTF experience. Now I'm a teeny weeny bit scared cause 1 I know what we're in for and 2 I was a single child so I don't know what it is like to have two kids running around. I'll know soon enough ey? :-)

i guess it would be easier in some ways and harder in others. they'll look out for each other and entertain each other but they'll also fight each other and demand double attention from you sometimes. who was that comedian who said the way to keep siblings occupied for hours is to tell them one of them is your favorite but don't tell them which one? you could always try that!

Midwife told me I may not be allowed to have my baby in the midwifery unit at the hospital of my choice.

Apparently I'm classed as 'high risk' due to this little murmur I have.

The midwife is going to speak to the consultant on my behalf and see if they can keep my care with the hospital I'd prefer only transferring me if neccesary.

I guess the home birth option has been blown out of the water now!

If she doesn't arrive before wednesday, I'll be induced that day!!!!!!!!!! I AM FUCKING NERVOUS PEOPLE!

Nathalie - you're going to do awesome. It couldn't hurt to *try* sex, just to see if it will work. Of course I will report (in the interests of science) that I did try it and mostly it led to hysterical laughter - on my part.

rumpie - That is frustrating about your options being narrowed. I hope it will work out in a way that makes you happy!

Sex? Bleeding heck, I don't think my husband is into beastiality. As the OBGYN said: Elephant legs are nothing compared to her. hahahah

lol, that was about it... believe me, I was laughing at myself and the situation. I was just REALLY tired of being pregnant and it seemed like it might work. ...It didn't.

But other people do report that it works for them!

It does keep your mind off things, I guess. :-)

Sex? Bleeding heck, I don't think my husband is into beastiality. As the OBGYN said: Elephant legs are nothing compared to her. hahahah

-- nathalie, Friday, 26 October 2007 12:39 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Nath, he's a man. We will have sex when asked.

Yeah, we tried it. Result = 2 orgasms (one each), and baby 12 hrs later..

http://www.gigwise.com/artists/00013034_alan_partridge.jpg
Back of the net!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2190/1754605527_47c94151be.jpg

This is my belly. My feet? About the same size. hahaha

Wow, that is awesome, nath!

Well, maybe not the feet part.

Well, it's handy: I can't topple over. haha

Nath, just curious, is it usual to induce so soon over your due date there? In the UK you generally get two weeks over. Or have you asked to be induced?

I was surprised because I have read that they usually do not induce that quickly. But when she noticed how horribly bloated my legs are, I think that's when she offered the choice. I do not want to sound as though I hate to be pregnant, but you really should see my legs. It's not just my feet, but my entire legs which are horribly swollen. :-( I can't really walk all that well, I have pain my ankles (as well as my back). I have to literally *drag* my legs in bed so I can lie there (and hopefully catch some sleep). Also as there's no sign whatsoever (of effacement) and my previous pregnancy was the same, I think she didn't object to it at all. I don't know the risks of inducement. My husband said, after I told him that there are (according to BabyCentre) not to look'em up. Will I? Probably. I can't resist to know. :-) Ok, I just did. Uh, I shouldn't have. Shit.:-) That said, they partially induced my first delivery as well: I had contractions but no water breaking or effacement (?). Wish me luck. PLEASE. :-)

Oh, yeah, it'll be five days late. Usually they wait about a week to two weeks in England, no? I know that waiting two weeks is not without risk either.

Which brings me to the advice: people, when someone is pregnant, do NOT tell them these horror stories. FFS what is with some people? I have heard everything from dying on the delivery table to excessive bleeding (which I also had, so STFU).

Ah yes, at our work Xmas do last year, when I was 7.5 months gone, I had some bloke merrily go into graphic detail about his wife's epidural going horribly wrong. Even when I said "Do you know what, I don't really want to hear about this right now", he carried on.

I don't know a huge amount about inducement but me and my brother and sister were all induced. I know plenty of people who've had it done and I haven't heard any horror stories, I'm sure you will be FINE :-)

I was booked in for induction at 42 weeks but went into labour four days before that, but at least there was a deadline as to how much longer I would be pregnant!

nath, i was induced 4 days after beeps was due. it was absolutely fine. dont worry!

Okay, I have SEEN THE FUTURE and I can tell you that Nathalie is going to have the most boring, by the book delivery ever. The nurses, doctors, and midwives will all be wowed by how easy and fast it is and how healthy every one is. They will ask Nathalie to come back to have many more babies because she can SHOW THEM HOW IT IS DONE!

Also 1 and 5 minute Apgar scores are totally going to be perfect tens.

This is the end of my official prediction.

(More seriously, it really will all be fine. That's why you have doctors and nurses and midwives and stuff - so you don't have to worry about the details! Your job is to show up, push, and then hold New Baby.)

Amber was a slowish birth.

Alice was:

Midwife: "Do you want to choose your outfit for birthing?"
Dawn: "I'll be lucky if I get my coat off!!"

And so it was.

Yeah, different 'method' of induction..

Have your wife's father round, get him to load all the pyrex into the small cupboard smallest to biggest, and about an hour later, open the cupboard door and have all the pyrex SMASH on the kitchen floor with a loud crash!

One hour later, birth!

Best of luck Nath, what time is your appointment? At least now you know you're having a Wednesday or a Thursday baby!

We're all wishing you the best of luck and we'll all be thinking about you and checking for the 'YAY - New Baby' thread!

x

Halloween night baby? You thought about this?

I think that's kind of brilliant.

Actually (TMI alert here) my first child was conceived on Halloween!

First scan this afternoon, I'm so nervous and excited. Can't think of anything else. Dreamt about scans all night. Babycentre is depressing me, I keep stumbling across threads from women who've gone for their scans only to be told the baby has died.

Bloody internet....

Rumpie, keep in mind that most women who will post to the BC will be ones that have had problems. Happy women don't need to post, they're enjoying their pregnancy without any hassle. But I know how you feel. Actually my husband and I *both* had nightmares the first time around. We both envisioned a dead baby or another problem. (Seeing how I'm a WCScenario/hypochondriac kinda gal, I had'em all through both pregnancies.) But most of the time nothing will arise, it will be a flawless pregnancy. :-) I am pretty sure it will be a healthy foetus.:-) I know that's kinda a cliche remark and you probably think: "Like hell she knows." And you're right. I hated it when people told me this, because, well, do they have Xray vision. But then I realized that worrying won't really matter and that I should enjoy the pregnancy and chances are usually in our favour. :-) I

Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, I think it's one of the greatest gifts given to women. :-) And trust me even the crappy things (like morning sickness) is bearable and you'll forget all about it as soon as your baby *pops* out. :-)

:) thank you, sometimes a wee bit of reassurance is all we need.

How are your lovely little girls anyway?

What Nath said. Hope all goes well!

do they have Xray vision.

And if so, keep them away from yr reproductive organs!!

Gl Rumpie.

Ahhh I hated waiting for scans and was *convinced* at every one that I would get awful news, I think it's a very common fear esp. with the increased medicalisation of pregnancy, but remember that it is a totally normal and common thing for your body to do, and if you have got this far (presumably 12 weeks) then the chances of anything going wrong from here on are really small.

Good luck Rumpie! I had so many scans with Alice and they were all terrifying in a way, but in the end I learnt to enjoy them because it's a sneak preview at your baby after all, and almost always a reassuring one!

Meg is so OTM! I think this whole medicalisation/overflow of info is sometimes negative (also when it comes to raising your kids as soon as they have popped out). :-)

How are your lovely little girls anyway?

Hmm. Ophelia might need a small ear operation as she has had a few too many ear infections. SHe won't need to stay overnight, but does need general sedation (?). Hopefully she'll recover from it all. It's a bit sad cause she's sick all the time: from urine infections to colds... But she's quite happy overall and loves her sister. :-) Liesje had a cold, still has a bit of a cold actually and also had/has thrush. Apart from that, we're doing fine! Even the sleep deprivation is (still) easy to bear. :-) For now anyway. :-) I can still recommend having two kids. One kid is awesome, but two is even awesomer. ;-)

Double the fun!

Hooray for my bouncing little seedling! Off to bed now, been a long, tiring and exciting day. Thanks for all the positive messages!
x

Good news! Did they give you a pic?

Yay! Yes, have you got a pic?

It's a year today since my positive test so I've been reminiscing, looking at my weekly bump photos, I'd forgotten already how big I got!

Make sure you take time to enjoy being pregnant as it flies by so fast and it's such a special time.

Anybody else 'fallen' yet?

I can't believe I'm halfway there already, it's flying by so quick.

I had my last scan on Friday, we think we're having a little girl, although they didn't like to say 100%.

I have no scanner so I'm going to try to take a photie of my photie and upload it later.

Aw hurrah for maybe-girl! How are you feeling these days R?

Yeah great thanks, I'm in the 'honeymoon' phase now, the sickness has passed and the fear of labour has not yet begun.

The only thing to remind me that I'm having a baby is the kicks, other than that I'm happily in denial :)

Rumpie, trust me, birthing is the bestest experience ever. I was scared of it all, but in all honesty I believe delivering is becoming a "whole woman." :-) Enjoy your pregnancy.

Those first weeks (with a baby) are quite something: fantastic with a whole bit of WTF thrown in. :-)

The worst thing you can do is fear labour, then all your fears will come true! Seriously, your body's designed to do it, it knows what to do, you just have to go along with it and let it do it's stuff without getting tense.

Haha, I'd forgotten about all the discussion upthread! Have you decided where you're going to give birth?

I'm allowed to go into the midwife unit - low intervention - no epidural available. It's the closest I can convince Mister to come to home birth and at least this way there's a hospital directly next door if things go wrong.

I think my whole ignorance of pain is going to help me keep calm to an extent, the most pain I've ever been in is epilating my underarm!

I'm looking forward to those first twinges though, it's all very exciting!

No epidural? Woha! I'll be megaproud if you can stand the pain. :-)

I have said this on many threads, but my mum is very fond of pointing out to me that if it was *that* unbearable, i wouldn't have a younger brother. you going to the SGH then?

Ailsa, I always say it's the "erase" program: you tend to forget all the problems as soon as the baby pops out. :-)

except for the problem of having a small child dependent on you for the rest of all time?

:-)

Yay! You'll be fine, yes it hurts but it's a productive pain. Don't forget to ask for gas and air though, I was so out of it by the time I arrived at the birthing centre that I totally forgot about it and I feel like I missed out!

If you're really worried about it there are a few good books out there:

The thinking woman's guide to a better birth
Birthing from within (think it might be a bit hippyish)
Ina May's guide to childbirth

It's the RAH I'm going into Ailsa, apparently the midwife unit is two floors up from the consultant ward where they hide the epidurals :)

To be honest Nath I think I'll cope more with the pain if I'm able to walk, kneel, squat etc, than being confined to a bed for an epidural - but who's to say? At least the knowledge that an epidural's not available should stop me from begging for one!

I'm looking forward to the gas and air Vicky, so is Mister! These books focus on natural birth, yeah? Definitely worth a look, thanks.

Rumpie, trust me, birthing is the bestest experience ever. I was scared of it all, but in all honesty I believe delivering is becoming a "whole woman." :-) Enjoy your pregnancy.

Those first weeks (with a baby) are quite something: fantastic with a whole bit of WTF thrown in. :-)

-- stevienixed, Monday, January 21, 2008 8:45 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

wtf

I had an epidural once and no time for one with the second baby - and yeah, it does hurt, but you can handle it. I've never epilated or waxed anything and I think I'd rather give birth without drugs again. Labor is a productive pain, it's true. (I won't lie and say I didn't prefer having the epidural though, because I did.)

Sorry if this sounds like mixed messages. The one thing I would suggest is that Lamaze breathing does nothing for a lot of women; with the second baby I tossed that out entirely and just breathed through contractions slowly. It seemed to work better for me.

Another book that might be of interest is Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way (pictures outdated, but good text).

Ethan, if you can express your thoughts well in a second language then I'll try to explain myself better.

Nath, I totally understood every word (and that's the main ting, innit?)

Oh yeah, I've read a little about the Bradley method, that totally sounds worth a try.

I guess you can puff and pant the way they instruct you until you're blue in the face but when it comes to the crunch we've all got our own coping mechanisms.

I'd still like to be prepared though so I'm going to study my little socks and then when the time comes I should have lots of methods to fall back on.

One of my friends totally raves about hypnobirthing, the cds are expensive but she said she was ridiculously calm throughout most of the birth, might be worth looking into. And yes, those books focus on natural childbirth

The most important thing is to remember that if you don't get your natural birth it doesn't mean you're a failure, there are many reasons why it might not happen and at the end of the day all that matters is that mum and babe are wwell.

right, i'll give ethan's surprise a go. i have no intention of having kids because i have doubts in my ability to be a good parent. i know people who would like to have kids but can't. i know others who had to have caesareans. would you like to tell me, or any of them, to their face, why they aren't a whole woman as a result?

definitely. ill never understand why a natural birth has become such a morality issue. its great if circumstances allow it but if things get out of hand you've got to wonder if the level of trauma the mom and the baby are going through are worth being able to later say they did it naturally.

none of that matters for shit once you've got that baby in your arms anyway.

xpost

(sorry nath, i know as you just pointed out to ethan that it's not your first language, but you express yourself so well other times, and i'm trying to parse that in another way that doesn't smack of superiority, and failing. can you at least TRY and clarify a bit?)

Personally (note the choice of words)I strongly feel I would not be a complete woman if I hadn't given birth (twice). I don't care how others feel about becoming a parent or not. For some it obviously is not important and thus it won't make them feel any different. I respect that even though I don't understand as children are extremely important for me. (Which doesn't mean I think you are any less than me.) But for me it really did matter. Y'know, why should I not make that personal statement?

As much as I know my English may seem fluent and on top of that I made a statement in too few words, I don't feel the need to apologize for my statement at all. It's a feeling and I think I am entitled to it as much as the next person. Maybe saying that English is my second language is not the correct way, in a sense it confirms my belief that language isn't always conducive to stating your thoughts/feelings. Does that make any sense whatsoever?

Sunny, I know what you mean and I do agree with you. But if you are given the opportunity to do it naturally, I think it is a wonderful experience.

Y'know, the hell with it, delivering/raising a baby is the most wonderful feeling in the world. (If you want to become a parent - DUH - otherwise it'd be a crap experience.) You have to go through it to know what I am saying. That's what I mean.

Ethan, this is a pregnancy thread for talking about being preggos. I doubt nath was saying, 'you have not become a true woman, fulfilled womanly duties, etc,' about other women, but rather herself. I don't think anyone here is advocating that you have to be a mother or that you're unworthy if you're not! I think she is just saying it is a singular experience. Which I am sure it is.

I grew up Mormo where it definitely is expected you have babies or are WORTHLESS, and I think I can tell the difference between nath's tone and that harmful idea.

Dude I fucking am gonna ask for all the epidural I can get. My mom didn't for her first four pregnancies and did on the fifth and was like, 'wtf was I thinking all these years?' There are a lot of things surrounding pregnancies that are badges of honor I don't really get. If I can take advantage of modern medical technology/advances (and get awesome painkillers!!!!) why should I not?

(NB I am not preggos and will not be for some whiles.)

Last but certainly not least, it's ever so nice to see how words are yanked out of their context or twisted around and then interpreted in a negative way. I don't think any less of people because of their choices or because they didn't go through something (or did go through it). I admire people if they don't want to become a parent and thus remain childless. I've seen the devastation when those people did have kids. Also, a caesarian is of course the perfect solution if you can't have kids and I certainly won't look to people differently if they had one (unless they had it for vanity reasons, wtf, right?). But that doesn't mean that giving birth naturally is any less great?

What Abbott said. Also in re to epidural. Man, I know it adds to the whole birthing experience. But I preferred tripping all the way to the delivery room. And trust me, with Elisabeth I was seriously tripping out. I was so out of it, I nearly fell off the bed because I couldn't wait to get on the delivery table. hahahahahahaha I am so not joking.

God if having an abortion hurt as much as it did, squeezing out a BABY has to be a fucking pain-splosion.

It's just the whole "whole woman" thing, like doing it differently/not doing it at all makes you only part a woman, like I'm missing something vitally important in my genetic makeup or some shit, that's all.

I need some encouraging words and distraction techniques! I'm due saturday, expecting to go overdue and despite trying to stay out and about and keep busy I keep finding myself getting excited over every little twinge.

I feel for you , Rumpie. I was 3 days overdue and it seemed like forever. I guess because I started to think it could happen any moment as soon as I was full term (what is that? 32 weeks? I cant remember)Every night I'd go to bed thinking I'm sure this is going to be the night because i felt this and that. Every day I went to work (I had to work up to the day before beeps was born) I prayed it wouldnt happen so my coworkers wouldnt see me in some horrible position. I dont know how you can distract yourself from that. Not very helpful, I know.

Anyway, yr kid will be born soon enough and then after youre awake for 2+ days straight and s/he is still screaming, you'll wish that kid was back in your belly! :)

x-post

Nothing will work. How many pineapples have you eaten already?! Have you been on mega long walks? Are you keeping a count of all the advice you get and people who say 'x worked for me'?

I was 4 days overdue and like Sunny had been waiting for something to happen since full term at 38 weeks. But when you get that first twinge you'll suddenly feel totally unprepared and panic!

Are you still on for the midwife led birth?

Everyone I know, literally, was 'overdue'. Great chapter in here that explains how you're not really overdue which a friend of mine found quite reasssuring.

Oh, yeah and sex and curry. Even if it doesn't work...

Do not google anything about 'overdue'! Just looking around for that article convinced me their are some seriously crazy people (and doctors) out there. People being induced before their due date because they feel 'heavy'!? What?

haha. i got induced because my mom was in town and due to leave soon.

I've been trying to stay as active as possible, loads of long walks, house cleaning and sex as normal.

Was up at the unit seeing the midwife team leader last week, we're still agreed on me birthing in there, yahoo!!

I can't seem to find that info from the link Ned...

excellent news.

Have you taken lots of nice bump shots? That could easily while away an afternoon, trying to get that perfect shot! In the months to come it's ace to look back in amazement that you could ever have been that huge.

Have you washed all the baby clothes, linen etc? Got your bags packed? You could make a mix cd/ipod playlist if you haven't already got anything sorted.

Re. the whole 'overdue' thing, the due date is only based on an average gestation period, babe will come when it's ready. Even two weeks over your due date isn't anything to panic over, though the NHS will try to put the frighteners on you, they can't force you to be induced

I was 10 days overdue and it sent me mental. Looking back, I should have enjoyed the peace and quiet, and the chance to sleep ;-)

Have you got a birthing ball? Great for making sure the baby is in a good position for labour, and for the early stages of labour as well.

I'll second Meg on the birthing ball, I virtually lived on mine in the leadup and all the time I was in labour at home I didn't want to get off the thing, good job they had one at the birth centre for me to use until I got in the pool!

xp
No, sorry rumpie, you need to get the book! I thought it would referenced somewhere but extensive searching has not found it. Basically it says what Vicky says.

In my limited experience, midwives were much more sensible about this than doctors (who to be fair are not usually specialists).

Anyway, you're not at that point yet!

My friend is bringing me a birthing ball on Thursday, I've heard they're an absolute godsend.

My midwife said they'd let me go to 12 days past my edd then bring me in to discuss induction, but if everything looks okay with the baby they'll just keep an eye on me and let me go a bit longer.

Meg, I wish I could sleep! I reckon my body is practising for the sleepless nights ahead, I just can't switch off at all.

I've been keeping a 'bump gallery' Vicky, it's funny to think back to four and five months ago when I was desperate to 'show' and now I'm sobbing because I can't get into any clothes!

Must admit though, I'm loving being pregnant, it's amazing to have company with me all the time, even when I'm alone. It feels so private and special sometimes.

I'm pretty much organised, my bag as been packed and unpacked umpteen times and I can't stop looking at the baby clothes. All I need now is the baby!

rumpie, don't worry - the baby WILL come out! It is hard to be patient, though, when you're feeling uncomfortable and anxious. I don't have any great natural induction suggestions (sex, spicy food, long walks - all of my standard ideas have been thrown out already!). But I remember a friend telling me I should "go to a lot of movies" in the last weeks because after the baby came, it would be hard to go. (And it's true: I almost never go to the movies anymore!)

Hmmmm, I wonder if there are any funny or possibly scary movies out there that you might enjoy, which could also precipitate labor? At any rate, you should treat yourself to something distracting and fun.

I went to see the Simpsons the sunday before I was due, but unfortunately I didn't laugh him out of me! Cinema is a very good call, and read as many books as you can, I so miss being able to spend a couple of hours with my nose in a book.

I miss being pregnant. Sounds silly as it can be really uncomfortable, but there's something so precious about it.

birth ball was rub and only meant as a joke on me. ;-) i was five days overdue with both. elisabeth was induced.

Looking back, I should have enjoyed the peace and quiet, and the chance to sleep ;-)

of course those last weeks are so uncomfortable you can't sleep. but you should cause sleep deprivation will last for a couple of months. roffle. :-)

rumps, i am rooting for you!

I'm hoping you're not pregnant any more and too busy with newborn to post!

yes, best wishes rumpie:)

Wooohoo, I'm excited for her. Man, how quick it goes: Elisabeth is no longer a newborn anymore.

Hey y'all, still here. Had two failed attempted cervical sweeps, one friday and one sunday but my cervix is still unfavourable, the kiddo hasn't engaed and I've to be admitted on wednesday to start with the prostin.

I cried all day friday, I'm shit scared of going into hospital, never been in before except as an outpatient, and my birth plan has flown out of the window.

I've tried all the old wives methods of inducing labour (not the castor oil admittedly) and I've hardly been off my feet but nope, nothing, not a twinge.

Just got to stay positive and keep reassurring myself that the outcome will be the same, a gorgeous and healthy little baby. Doesn't stop me bursting into tears at the thought of drips and wires and wards, eeek!

It's gonna be fine! Don't worry! It will happen!

Thanks, I'm just all hormonal and worked up. I've had such an easy pregnancy I just assumed labour and birth would go smoothly and automatically too.

Rumpie, it was exactly the same way for me - my cervix was doing nothing. People put so much stock in midwives and not inducing and no drugs but its not always that easy and in the end none of it matters for shit. Its the 18 years (and beyond) after the birth that really counts.

Yip, you're so right. I've just been dealing with everything one step at a time and it's hard for me to see past the labour and birth bit just now. Going into labour has been my main focus for weeks now, I'm still struggling to imagine actualy having a real baby.

Wed is still a long way off in labour terms, plenty of time for it to kick off on its own before then. But if it doesn't all that matters at the end of the day is a healthy mum and baby.

Marley Mae was born at 01.17 on the 20th of June - all 7lb 13oz of her. My waters were broken for me and I delivered my baby 7 hours later. There were a couple of hairy moments, she flatlined twice and I almost had to have an emergency section but she recovered by herself.

My mum had a tyre blowout on a country road on the way to the hospital too, so it was a bit of a dramatic night.

Marley is feeding like a limpet, my nipples are three feet long but I've never been so happy in my life. She has completed me.

Look forward to chatting on the parenting thread.

Pics and story for anyone interested are here: http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=bcUKbclub200806&tid=5653

Well done Mr. rump.

She's GORGEOUS! Congratulations!

CONGRATULATIONS!! She's beautiful!!!

Aw, congrats, she's a wee star.

congratulations!!!!!! a total knockout!

nice one, rumpie. congratulations.

congratulations rumpie, she is absolutely beautiful.

how wonderful! congratulations!

:D
babies <3

She is beautiful! Congratulations!

Oh Rumpie!!!! Wooohooo! I can't look at the pics too much, cause I would shed a tear. (Yep, I'm a total crybaby.) Congrats. I am happy to hear both you and Marley are in good health! How are you feeling otherwise? Isn't it all that and much more? :-))

Whoppee! Well done Rumpie and Mr Rumpie and Baby Rumpie! Another Mae (just like my daughter)!

It's the BEST feeling in the world, I can't get over this love I feel, it's totally overwhelming. I just want to stare at her day and night.

Love her love her love her!!!

rumpie, she is so beautiful I'm boo-hooing over her just looking at her!

Thank you :)

Congratulations! She's a beaut :)

So no one has been pregnant since 2008? I am 12 weeks today. I started mood swings at 8 weeks but approaching 12 weeks... those mood swings were small thunderstorms compared to the tsunamis I am getting now.

I will be going through the day happy and excited and then out of nowhere get hit with semi-anxious, overwhelming sadness. There is no reason for it and I find trouble when I start giving it a reason or searching for a source. If it is hormonal, it has no reason other than hormones raging.

I have never experienced chemical depression or ever had PMS that compares to something like this. I am not in the habit of feeling sad and depressed without a solid reason and I guess I am not grasping the hormone thing. I never bought the hormone thing and scoffed at anyone who used it as a reason for anything. I loathed it when girls said their PMS made them do it. While PMS made me feel low sometimes, I could always control my thoughts and emotions. Can hormones alone can make me feel like my world in caving in on itself? I usually find solutions to my problems but now I feel crazy.

When I am hit with this semi-anxious sad feeling the tears start flowing and it's hard to even get out and try and take a walk to take my mind off it. I can't top crying. I tried exercising which always makes me feel great but then it exhausts me and feeling tired seems to be a trigger, not eating as soon as I crave something is another. Although sleeping and eating don't always prevent them or cure them, helps decrease their intensity somewhat.

Yesterday I woke up feeling great. Had a dip in mood so decided to sleep it off. Took a nap. I was awake 3 hours straight, worked out, had a snack, felt great but was extremely sleepy again. This is the sort of drowsiness I only previously experienced going into and coming out of anesthesia. It is really intense.

After a second, shorter nap, I woke up, ate dinner with my boyfriend and was fine for about an hour then had a drop in my mood. Unfortunately, my boyfriend was home and was quickly devoured by my tsunami of anxiety and depression. A question led to a conversation that led to a discussion that escalated and now things there are weird. We woke up this morning in separate beds.

This is my first pregnancy and his as well. I don't think I am able to articulate my frame of mind accurately to him. I am happy about pregnancy but at the same time I am shocked with what I find myself experiencing. Having been a person who was previously in control and now finding myself unable to control things going on inside and with my body. It doesn't feel normal to feel so out of control, to have mood swings and these sleeping fits. I see Rosemary's Baby in an entirely different way now. It is a scarier movie than I thought, I get it now.

Is there anybody out there, who knows what this out of control feeling is all about? How to keep things in perspective so that you don't wind up taking a Greyhound to Nowheresville only to get there and mood swing into a what have I done moment?

I have never been pregnant so I don't have any experience with this or word of wisdom to offer. I am sure someone else will. I just wanted to say congratulations to you and Mr. S! Babies seem pretty great.

:) Thank you!!!!!!!!!xo

There's a more up-to-date rolling pregancy thread on the I Love People-Making sub-board:

Knocked Up Rollcall

congrats, tera; similarly i can't really relate other than recognising that pregnancy must be a crazy change in state to go through, so inevitably comes with a lot of weird changes, but i hope you can get comfortable.

And congrats to you, Tera, hope you manage to get over the feelings you have.

(x-post)

Congrats Tera! :)

Thank you guys!!!!!!!! Going to that other board now....thanks, Tuomas

Ah, congratulations! I always had this weird feeling about being pregnant. "A BABY IS FORMING IN MY BELLY. WOHA." :-) I have two kids and don't plan to have more. I do envy others being pregnant. Ah.... :-)

Thank you!!!!!

Since I never had a baby before, just pets, tons and tons of pets, I find it hard at the moment to wrap my head around a small human. It is easier for me to understand The Ultimate Pet.

Then, last night, after having a chat with a woman who described her three pregnancies and being able to relate to some things she said I thought of the chickens I once had. They were Silkies, the best mama hens ever.

They would go broody and I would get them fertile eggs to sit on because I never wanted to deny them motherhood even though I couldn't keep a rooster. For three weeks I would watch them and spent a significant amount of time watching them sit on the nest and wonder what they were thinking. They had such serious expressions. They would only get up for a morning bm and to eat and some water. I would gently pet them and they would coo but other times I would get severely pecked (they are not known to be a mean breed and rarely do that). I saw them get cranky when another hen passed by (actually heard a chicken growl) or when I had to pick up some eggs.

So I began to think, my bed is my lil nest. I get up to get groceries, make meals, clean up and take care of myself then back to bed and remembered that even my hens had mood swings.

Hey Tera - like I said yesterday, no personal experience here but I've known and worked with a lot of pregnant ladies and from what I understand the overwhelming fatigue begins to lift in the 2nd trimester so there's every chance you might start feeling more like yourself again sometime soon.

That said, if I had an valid reason to spend a lot of time in bed nobody would ever see me again so I say get comfy and make the most of it while you can.