Okay so seriously, what would win in a fight, a silverback gorilla or a grizzly bear?

omg are you kidding? bear no question.

bear kills things for a living, silverback just eats plants.

http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bloggraphics/cattreesbear.jpg

Bear in the 1st.

ok i think the gorilla would really outmuscle the bear. more of a brute force thing. altho ^^^that would render the fight a draw i guess.

see these are the types of things that should be polls, not what the best song on the 7th david bowie album is.

It's not gonna come down to weight cos the bear's just gonna slice up the gorilla at the start.

A gorilla with Royce Gracie's brain could beat a grizzly bear though.

this makes me feel like I'm in 3rd grade again.

Noodle otmonkey - the bear is packing knives.

i think a bear would go for the stand up and swat technique whereas the gorilla would be more agressive and scrappy, maybe it would try and tackle and then pummel the bear or something, but i've never seen a picture of a gorilla fighting before (as opposed to a bear).

I've seen Gorillas fighting each other before and it was pretty epic.

i agree w/ dylan re: wrestling. this is where i think the gorilla has the advantage.

> A gorilla with Royce Gracie's brain could beat a grizzly bear though.

But what if the grizzly had Dan Inosanto's brain?

"Grizzly bears reach weights of 180–680 kilograms (400–1,500 pounds) and stand 2.44 m (8 ft) tall on its hind legs.; the male is on average 1.8 times as heavy as the female..." - Wiki

"Adult males range in height from 165-175 cm (5 ft 5 in – 5 ft 9 in), and in weight from 140–200 kg (310–440 lb)." Wiki on 'Silverback'

thank you michael

i cant believe you guys are arguing about this. bears are a) HUGE, b) have CLAWS and c) ARE PREDATORS

Gorillas fighting each other = display rituals = WWE

What about a silverback gorilla versus a hyena?

GORILLA

Gorillas are terrifying.

yeah but the gorilla would lure the bear across some leaves covering a carefully prepared trap or something

whoah i totally thought gorillas were bigger than that!

i was gonna drop bills on the gorilla :-/

this is like "who would win in a fight, bruce lee or mike tyson?"

Grizzly Bear vs. Bengal Tiger?

Bear still has the size advantage, but tigers might have the edge in speed and agility. And of course, claws and teeth on both sides.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1054/759037640_e6710bd38f.jpg vs http://assets4.pitchforkmedia.com/images/image/36008.grizzbig.jpg

bruce lee

The only way these two are fighting is if it's staged.

Their habitats are continents apart.

Their interspecies interactions usually preclude any fights with dangerous animals unless confronted.

Even if introduced to the same environment, they're not competitors for the same food.

Sonic Youth look kind of odd in that picture.

well duh, that's why max said it

xxpost

yes, the 150lb actor would beat the heavyweight boxer

MW, totally missing the point!

i mean, i guess the thing is HOW the gorilla would win. i fully expect it would be capable of fending off a bear attack, but if it's a fight to the death, then bear wins.

xp tiger ftw, don't be naive.

xpp don't be pedantic, m white, sheesh

dude, it is totally not about weight

xp

i dont know if youre being serious, but, uh, bruce lee is an actor and coreographer; mike tyson actually gets paid to hit people in the head

Ali vs. Tyson?

Ali.

Jordan, I know. I hate fun. :(

ali vs. tyson is basically one grizzly vs. another grizzly, booorrinnnggg

Challengers on the set

Bruce Lee's celebrity and martial arts prowess often put him on a collision course with a number of street thugs, stunt men and martial arts extras, all hoping to make a name for themselves. Lee typically defused such challenges without fighting, but felt forced to respond to several persistent individuals.

Bob Wall, USPK karate champion and co-star in Enter the Dragon, recalled a particularly serious encounter that transpired after a film extra kept taunting Lee. The extra yelled that Lee was "a movie star, not a martial artist", that he "wasn't much of a fighter" and said it was "easy to see his martial art wasn't any good." Lee answered his taunts by asking him to jump down from the wall he was sitting on. Wall described Lee's opponent as "a gang-banger type of guy from Hong Kong!," a "damned good martial artist," and observed that "He was fast, he was bigger than Bruce, and he was strong!" [17]

Wall would recall the confrontation in detail:

"This kid was good. He was no punk. He was strong and fast, and he was really trying to punch Bruce's brains in. But Bruce just methodically took him apart."[18]

"I mean Bruce kept moving so well, this kid couldn't touch him...Then all of a sudden, Bruce got him and rammed his ass into the wall and swept him, he proceeded to drop his knee into his opponent's chest, locked his arm out straight, and nailed him in the face repeatedly."[19]

After his victory, Lee gave his opponent lessons on how to improve his fighting skills. His opponent, now impressed, would later say to Lee, "You really are a master of the martial arts."

Max, I'm thinking perhaps you've never seen either man box. Or even perhaps have never seen any man box.

Filthy - now tell the story of Bruce Lee and Gene Labelle.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/flufsesshomaru/rtbh99sbeercavalryiw5.jpg

Tip: Try removing quotes from your search to get more results.

Your search - "silverback cavalry" - did not match any documents.

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max of all the 'actors' who play hardmen, you probably picked the worst one with which to make your point. bruce lee was tough as fucking nails.

JJ settles it.

But I do think that Mike Tyson in his prime could beat any other boxer at any time.

The whole idea leaves me a little verklemt, though, since gorillas and tigers are endangered and the very mascot of my state was wiped out before the 20th century had even started.

i mean, from all accounts he was a good fighter rather than just an actor, and he was seriously fast, and from some stuff i've read he had a really great understanding of how the body works, the physics of martial arts, etc.. if they were just standing there trading punches, sure, but boxing is a lot different from fighting?

xpost

I don't think Tyson would've laid much of a glove on Ali in his prime.

guys bruce lee was very good at what he did, i have no doubt. mike tyson is a boxer--he has spent his entire life taking punches from guys five times stronger than lee, staying alive round after round, and being faster than anyone his size has any right to be. i know how much we all love those disney movies that teach us that its not about being big, its being smart, but, uh, its about being big. sorry.

Don't discount Jackie Chan as a movie hardman - sure he has this image as a wacky, funny guy. And it's true! But he's also absolutely fearless and crazy as fuck. Willing to risk anything for a good shot (at least when he was younger and his bone cartelige was faster healing.)

xp - that's the thing though - Ali was big AND smart. That's why he'd do to Tyson what he did to Foreman.

I feel the same about Ali vs Tyson. People want to get behind Ali because he's intelligent and likable but Tyson was just a fucking machine.

Grizzly Bear vs. Fedor Emelianenko

bruce lee was like the all-china champion (<---not a real title) of something like three or four different martial arts, right? i mean he basically WAS mike tyson before getting into movies, i thought?

rhino v. bear

xp max you are just plain rong

No, I mean Tyson would not have landed a serious punch on Ali. And when he'd punched himself out, say 5th or 6th round, Ali would take him to pieces. For starters, Ali's serious competitors were in a different league to anybody Tyson fought.

How about Mike Tyson in his prime and Ali in his prime together vs. a gorilla.

dueds, one inch punch.

1 inch!

Tyson's jab was shit. Sorry, he's a power puncher and not much else. Ali would outbox him badly.

guys bruce lee punched so fast they had to slow down the footage, he probably knew 18 different death grips and 140 throws, he would have had tyson in a shot.

mind-bogglingly rong, in fact.

every actor ever vs. knife-wielding speedfreak who just drank a bottle of red wine

If I would rate anyone against a grizzly bear, Fedor might be the one. But, I don't. It's a goddamn half-ton apex predator!

Oooh rhino vs bear!

I've gotta give that one to rhino I think if he lands his first charge.

Tyson in 88 on PCP vs. a wolf

http://youtube.com/watch?v=keS3OTNger8

this is getting into predator ship territory

Mike Tyson vs a grizzly bear vs Emma Bunton circa 1998 vs Nicky Wire in a banana suit

LOOK IN THE MIRROR, PPL

being big and strong doesn't do much for you if someone breaks you kneecap and pokes you in the eyes before you can land a punch

guys bruce lee punched so fast they had to slow down the footage, he probably knew 18 different death grips and 140 throws, he would have had tyson in a shot.

^^^^^^^

yes he must have known many "death grips." im glad all the urban legend bullshit surrounding lee plus anecdotes from people who have a vested interest in make karate seem like it might actually be dangerous have convinced you all that bruce lee could kick tyson's ass.

The Thing vs The Hulk

UNLESS YOU ARE ON SPEED AND RED WINE, DUH xxpost

> every actor ever vs. knife-wielding speedfreak who just drank a bottle of red wine

There's a lot of crossover between these two groups

okay picture the fight. they circle. lee waits. tyson makes the first move. punches. lee catches his arm, knocks him off balance, spins him round, and then punches him so hard in the back of the neck that he is instantly killed. game over.

dude i actually know next to nothing about martial arts, and it's probably showing, but i WANT TO BELIEVE

You are all Calum.

DAER CASIS CLAY FAN CLUBZ0RZ:

Not that it wouldn't be a great fight, but Tyson in his Cus D'Amato prime was fast as fuck, and a legit boxer.

Ali at his best was beautiful to watch; Tyson was simply unbelieveable.

the fighting style of a grizzly is not conducive to beating a bear. it's used to standing up and punching other bears in the face, where as it would have to fight on the gorilla's level, i.e. down in a stance or something where the gorilla would MAUL it.

back to bruce lee thing though.

Physical feats
Lee's phenomenal fitness meant he was capable of performing many exceptional physical feats.[43][44][45][46] The following list are the physical feats that are documented and supported by reliable sources.
Lee's striking speed from three feet with his hands down by his side reached five hundredths of a second.[47]
Lee could spring a 235lb opponent 15 feet away with a 1 inch punch.[46]
Lee's combat movements were at times too fast to be captured on film at 24fps, so many scenes were shot in 32fps to put Lee in slow motion. Normally martial arts films are sped up.[48][49][50]
In a speed demonstration, Lee could snatch a dime off a person's open palm before they could close it, and leave a penny behind.[51]
Lee could perform push ups using only his thumbs[39][46]
Lee would hold an elevated v-sit position for 30 minutes or longer.[45]
Lee could throw grains of rice up into the air and then catch them in mid-flight using chopsticks.[39]
Lee performed one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger[46][52][39][46]
Lee performed 50 reps of one-arm chin-ups.[53]
From a standing position, Lee could hold a 125lb barbell straight out. [45][39]
Lee could break wooden boards six inches thick.[54]
Lee performed a side kick while training with James Coburn and broke a 150-pound punching bag[45][55]
Lee could cause a 300-lb bag to fly towards and thump the ceiling with a sidekick.[46]
In a move that has been dubbed "Dragon Flag", Lee could perform leg lifts with only his shoulder blades resting on the edge of a bench and suspend his legs and torso perfectly horizontal midair. [56]
Lee could thrust his fingers through unopened steel cans of Coca-Cola, at a time before cans were made of the softer aluminum metal.[57]
Lee would use one finger to leave dramatic indentations on pine wood.[57]

To be fair, Max, Tyson probably isn't prepared for a good kicker who goes after his legs. I think he'd have done well in mma, but not after a few object lessons in the ring from the likes of Benny Rodriguez, Mirko Filipovich, etc.

the fighting style of a grizzly is not conducive to beating a bear

demolishes the shit out of a salmon tho

Also Tyson knows how to take a punch from a dude wearing a glove.

Is Max trolling?

xpost

yes he must have known many "death grips." im glad all the urban legend bullshit surrounding lee plus anecdotes from people who have a vested interest in make karate seem like it might actually be dangerous have convinced you all that bruce lee could kick tyson's ass.

-- max, Wednesday, November 7, 2007 6:20 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Karate?

i mean look tyson would wreck the shit out of bruce lee, but that's an awful comparison for bear v. gorilla.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeL2VAEaAEU

"karate" = all asian people look the same to me!

Bill "Superfoot" Wallace's straight right side kick vs. Mirko "Crocop" Filipovich's left roundhouse.

Mike Tyson feats:

WILL BREAK YOUR FACE WITH ONE PUNCH.

fuck thrusting your fingers through a coke can.

Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris obv

LEE IN A CAKEWALK.

other Mike Tyson feats:

EAT YOUR EAR
RUIN YOUR PRESS CONFERENCE

not what the best song on the 7th david bowie album is.

"Sorrow," IMO.

THREATEN YOUR CHILDREN

Oh shit, no - Superfoot's left was where it was at, wasn't it? Sorry.

Playing by the rules of boxing, probably Tyson. Any other time, definitely Lee.

IF mike tyson could connect, he would crush lee's head like a gourd, granted. it's just that that would never happen, and lee could break tyson's knee with basically one shot.

i can't believe i'm participating in this :-/

let's go back to animals

EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR
EAT YOUR EAR

^^^FUCK A BRUCE LEE

Pitbull vs Python

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/thegoalrash/savedarkplace/faq6.jpg

> let's go back to animals

A seahorse vs. a hummingbird!

http://lonewacko.com/images/python-vs-alligator-everglades.jpg
http://lonewacko.com/images/python-vs-alligator-everglades.jpg
http://lonewacko.com/images/python-vs-alligator-everglades.jpg

xpost

In the water or in the air?

seahorse speared ;_;

hummingbird drowned ;__;

whoever wins, we all lose

what happens if animal a kills animal b then tries to eat it but explodes in the process?

is it a draw?

Can a single lion take down an elephant?

gimme scenarios for both

xp

looks like we have 'em already

Karate?

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, November 7, 2007 3:24 PM (7 minutes ago)

Bob Wall, USPK karate champion and co-star in Enter the Dragon, recalled a particularly serious encounter that transpired after a film extra kept taunting Lee

Can a single lion find love in this crazy, mixed-up world?

http://q.foto.radikal.ru/0702/96630e7dca55.jpg

omg hahahahahahahaha

In the air obviously the seahorse has got minutes to live but I doubt the hummingbird's got the grip so probly a draw. If a hummingbird's in the water I assumed it's fucked anyway so the seahorse wins here.

yeah, but that's not referring to Lee!

xpost

this thread is so dumb but i love it

max, do you think Tyson would have a chance in UFC?

xposts to large cat.jpg "He knows."

yeah, but that's not referring to Lee!

what i said was: "anecdotes from people who have a vested interest in make karate seem like it might actually be dangerous"

jon i dont know but thats a totally different question!

tyson in his prime would have eaten these ufc dudes.

actually yeah i mean hed totally have a chance

but bruce lee =/= UFC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meaning if he had proper training and knew how to use his feet/grapple as well.

muay thai is pretty dangerous

http://kjkolb.tripod.com/homepage/miketysonquotes.html

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

i mean i know it's funny to hate on martial arts enthusiasts (lol ponytails), but actual martial arts were used, you know, to fight and beat people up long before straight up queensbury rules boxing

a gorilla would destroy tyson

Tony Jaa vs Harold Lloyd

To correct my earlier, limited search:

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a277/flufsesshomaru/rtbh99sbeercavalryiw5.jpg

vs.

http://www.anniescostumes.com/gorillarider.jpg

ADVANTAGE: STILL BEARS

xxxpost yeah, but im not talking tyson fighting lee with his gloves on

muay thai is arguably waaaaaay more dangerous than boxing.

punched gloved fist in face vs. kicked SHIN in face

I prefer this one:

"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

A good friend of mine works for the Bronx Zoo and has traveled the world studying exotic animals. Fascinating dude.

Anyway, one of my favorite drunk conversations used to be which animal could kick another animal's ass.

We drunk dialed my buddy one night and he said unequivocably that a polar bear wouldn't have to fear losing to a rhino, an elephant, a wild boar, a water buffalo, a tiger, or a cheetah.

That is all I remember. I don't remember asking about a gorilla but I seem to remember the guy saying that no mammal could touch a polar bear.

Brock Samson vs. uh...

seriously, who'd be crazy enough to try?

This one is also wau:

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

I've never seen David Attenborough chilling out with Grizzlies.

that seems pretty reasonable, don.

polar bear took on hella walruses in planet earth

Jane Goodall vs the dude who was eaten by grizzlies

Timothy Treadwell vs Silverback Gorilla?

xpost!

punched gloved fist in face vs. kicked SHIN in face

also knee to the head

(i took some muay thai as kid btw, it was awesome)

http://www.mmjp.or.jp/amlang.atc/worldnow/00/jan/images/tyson2.jpg

^^^bruce lee would diiiiieeee.

HELLO TYSON WOULD CATCH THAT SHIN WITH HIS MOUTH AND BITE HIS LEG OFF!!!!!!!!

bruce lee would be too weirded out by the mao tattoo to even start fighting

ugh, he looks like he smells like ham

This thread will spawn hilarious facebook applications.

pixyland peter pan dude vs. timothy treadwell : DRAW

seahorse vs mike tyson

Tyson drowns trying to find its ear.

lol

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/50/Leafy_Seadragon_Phycodurus_eques_2500px.jpg

omg so beautiful

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

Is this Mike Tyson coming out of the closet?

how about a sea horse vs. a snork?

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/tli78/snorks.jpg

vs aerial

We drunk dialed my buddy one night and he said unequivocably that a polar bear wouldn't have to fear losing to a rhino, an elephant, a wild boar, a water buffalo, a tiger, or a cheetah.

hippo takes them all

no, really

Yeah, definitely hippo. Those thing are crazy. Female Snork is a fitty.

no way could a hippo take a polar bear.

hippo would beat polar bear, but would get mashed out by elephant.

nothing beats hippo. nothing. it is an amphibious tank with metre-long teeth. and ROTATING POO SPRAY ATTACK.

it's the same size as a walrus, only it has thinner skin than a walrus. Same sized tusks. And polar bears can kill a walrus.

face it dude hippos are pussies.

http://www.stagecraftinc.com/Images/HippoRider.jpg

a tiger would destroy anything mentioned on this thread so far - tiger is super deadly.

i would really love to see tyson v lee. ive heard that boxers give martial arts dudes trouble in that they have great balance making them impossible to throw/knock over.

lee would undoubtedly try to use his quickness to just kick tyson in the legs a lot since hes not used to that. but if tyson connected to lees head shit would be over. as for mike being hampered by his exclusive boxing training - im pretty sure dude has been in his share of street fights.

What about a fucking TAIPAN or a fucking KING BROWN.

One of my oldies' horses was killed by a king brown a couple of months ago ;_;

cheaters

Some friends and I argued about tiger vs bear. I'm firmly in the bear camp, btw). The closest we came to an answer was when a historian friend of mine found a record of a Roman bloodsport event (prompted by the same argument?). But the record didn't say which had won. They probably weren't in the best of shape anyway.

There was a nature programme I saw recently with a pack of lions trying to take down a hippo. The hippo pretty much ignored them, plodding towards the river. It got a bit bloodied, but it was fine. There was a lion standing on it's back for a little while...

tiger is way more killy than lion who are lazy pack hunters

weasels then cats in that order are the most deadly mammals pound for pound

bear never kills anything impressive at all

it's the same size as a walrus, only it has thinner skin than a walrus.

this is so rong it is magnificent

the fact theres not internet videos of these hypothetical fights filmed in some half defunct zoo in the stans or somewhere is completely mystifying

Thinner? THINNER? Hippos have a hide like a piece of Kevlar, plus underneath it is a ton of fatty tissue that they don't care about.

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mhippo.html

weasels then cats in that order are the most deadly mammals pound for pound

wolverines are hella deadly too

ok if we're going by actual weight and thickness then yeah, you're right, but the skin of a hippo is SO FUCKING TOUGH, it is like armour. plus the hippo is incredibly mobile.

wolverines are hella deadly too

theyre weasels (and yes suuuper deadly - probably the scariest animal in the whole world)

Hippos do kill more tourists than any other animal in Africa, altho I imagine part of the issue is that people don't take the precautions they would with a large known carnivore. Still, there is this:

Not long ago Spencer Tyron, a white hunter, was killed while hunting near the shores of Lake Rukwa, Tanzania. A bull hippo turned over the dugout canoe from which Tyron was shooting, and bit off his head and shoulders.

BIT OFF HIS HEAD AND SHOULDERS. OFF.

wow jeez yikes

!

I wuz gonna say - hippo ambling toward water with lion on back is one thing; hippo in water is nightmare walkin' psychopath talkin'

All I'm saying is there's a famous zoo in Australia where keepers live with and play with tigers, like raise them and go swimming with them and mash them around the heads with pats and kisses, EVEN TO ADULT TIGERS like they were kitties. Whereas hippo facilities in zoos are specially calibrated nevar to leave the keepers in unprotected proximity, and they have to use some FUCKING GIANT STEEL WALLS/BARS to do it.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/Gulo_gulo-Woverine-Polar_Zoo_Norway.JPG/180px-Gulo_gulo-Woverine-Polar_Zoo_Norway.JPG
comin to eviscerate u!

yah but just cause tigers are more friendly doesnt mean they cant kill u better if they want

i saw a badger once!

When I was about 18 a big male roo was stalking me when I was on my olds' property poisining trees. It kind of stayed about 10 metres away from me and would not go away. I was shitting myself, it was huge and v feral looking. I slowly moved towards the car (couple of hundred metres away)and jumped in. I had a cane knife on me, but i was pretty fucking petrified.

BADGERS are not to be fucked with

if the redwall boks are as scientifically accurate as i assume they are.

books duh

when i was in 4th grade, there were these little mean chihuahuas that lived across from my bus stop. i was so afraid of them i would fake being sick to avoid them.

they could take on a bear

xxp Unless you are a mouse child carrying some candied chestnuts and deeper'n otter hotroot pie, that is!

(kangaroos can be pretty hardcore btw)

yeah a badger is like 1/2 a wolverine - i was driving slowly down a v poor dirt road in colorado at night and one just veered into the road and ran in front of the truck for like 10 seconds then disappeared.

he was casing yr vehicle to see if he could carjack you

late to the party, but: i think i read somewhere that hippos really are the most dangerous animals on the planet, people-wise. polar bears are known to hunt people, and are fucking huge and terrifying, but hippos are cartoonishly dangerous in comparison.

bruce lee v. a wolverine

i was all WTF HOLY SHIT DID U SEEEE THAT !!!!

has anyone ever seen that famous wildfile doc of a hippo fighting off a leopard killing a baby gazelle then trying to give the obv dead gazelle mouth to mouth?

here u go http://youtube.com/watch?v=E51DyWl_q0c

actually a croc and an impala - totally unreal

best one is: baby wildebeest grabbed by lion, crocodile wrestles baby wildebeest from lion, wildebeest pack come in and challenge both lion and crocodile, baby wildebeest survives.

O_o

yeah that one is totally amaze too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z99JvfBeFt0

oh xpost!

for the uninitiated http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6228759629302509836&q=hippo+fight&total=151&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=3

bonus points for goofy kid music

wow this thread has turned from A to A+. more incredible wildlife footage please.

...and then there's Gustav.

wtf, why aren't i a wildlife expert and going to africa basically every day to watch animal fights

YOUTUBE COMMENTS YAY!

.....one hippo has vampire fangs!!!
hippo 1:I will bite u!
hippo 2:i dont wanna be a vampire xDDD

http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j171/mdanielwalter/AAAP.jpg

a tiger would destroy anything mentioned on this thread so far - tiger is super deadly.

Awesome bear photo:

http://www.nhm.ac.uk/resources-www/visit-us/whats-on/temporary-exhibitions/swpy/2007/popup/50.jpg

I’d been so busy taking pictures of the salmon in the Ozernaya River in southern Kamchatka, east Russia, I didn’t notice the bear until it was a metre away. It was a terrible shock. I kept calm enough to take the picture but only later did I realise how serious the situation was.’

This is from this year's Shell Wildlife photo competition. Lots more awesomeness here:
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/whats-on/temporary-exhibitions/wpy/categoryGroup.do?group=1

^^^^^ THAT RULES

OH HAI I AM ELEFANT IN ROOM

oh god "colonel poo" obv the elephant hadnt been mentioned yet

Uh. Ctrl F tells me it was mentioned no less than 4 times!

Okay why is one of the related videos to that Youtube link "Snake eats boy"??????????????

(Although I guess it does answer the question "who would win: a snake vs a boy")

tyson can't fight without his gloves. he got into a brawl once in the late nineties, punched a guy out and broke all his fingers, fractured his wrist. Tyson is not all that outside of the ring.

Hippo/polar bear would be a 50/50 toss up for me.

re bear/gorilla- a bear isn't all that comfortable on his hind legs, so in order to slash he'd be off balance. still, claws/teeth are gonna win the day for the bear- how exactly is a gorilla gonna finish it?

this is the best idea for a thread in ages.

good thread!
grizzly bear wins

http://www.bronxzoo.com/media/image/GrizzlyBearStandingWebJMaher.JPG
I wish I could remember the name of the TV programme where they did this. Can't remember if they did bear vs gorilla, but they did bear vs something and the bear absolutely fucked up whatever it was. I think it just belted the opponent in the head and knocked it the fuck out.

There was! It was nuts! There was a TV program where they built robotic models of all this giant animals and made them fight each other! Most of the episodes, AFAIR, were spent sourcing materials and explaining why the jaw hinges had to be reinforced or why lack of stamina was going to be this animal's weak spot, or wahtever. So it was sort of educational. But I think most of the models ended up wrecked.

stfu poo crtl f

http://bix.yahoo.com/contest/16189/pair/120971vs120972

how would a polar bear fare against, say, a t-rex?

Horse vs Monkey anyone?

Who would win a fight between a horse and a monkey?

At Bristol Zoo there is a sign by the gorilla enclosure saying "DO NOT LOOK THE GORILLAS IN THE EYE"

yeah, but that's just bristol- they have the same signs up for shop assistants in tesco in bristol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8Ynebb2fhg

TIGER R V V DEADLY

when i was in 4th grade, there were these little mean chihuahuas that lived across from my bus stop. i was so afraid of them i would fake being sick to avoid them.

-- latebloomer, Wednesday, November 7, 2007 8:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

they could take on a bear

-- latebloomer, Wednesday, November 7, 2007 8:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
http://slecht-lands.livejournal.com/111105.html

holy shit that is fucking terrifying xp

hey poo did you notice what dude is riding on? its an elephant. wtf did the elephant do abt atak tiger? noooooothing!

ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKIN HATERS OUT THERE CAN SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKIN DICK

AND WE STILL SMOKIN, WHAT?

(in the full version it claims that the elephant chased and trampled the tiger, actually)

THIS IS JUST ELEPHANT LIES

omg the comment on that video are so good

Haha dude, give it up.

http://www.wildlifetrustofindia.org/html/news/2004/040609_joymala.htm

Oh xposts

HAHAHAHA Owned! I love all cats! Im glad im not a retard and try stuff like this with things that are known FOR ITS KILLING ABILITIES!

kitty just wants hugz

whatever poo an elephant is just big its not deadly an furious so u better watch out because a tiger is gonna deadly atak u totally !!!!

jhoshea i have started a new ILC thread

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/06/0603_050603_elephants.html

According to the National Geographic Channel documentary Elephant Rage, some 500 people are killed by elephant attacks each year. Such attacks are becoming increasingly common, researchers say.

awesome killing ability rulez 4 ever

whatever elephants are also known to rape rinos did you know that? a rino is not sexy an elphant is just big and has no taste.

I was gonna say elephants have definitely fucked people up. And who's gonna calm them down when they do? Tony the bleedin' Tiger? I think not.

hey why dont all you elpahnt homos try yr hand in the deadly killing thread things that are known FOR ITS KILLING ABILITIES!

elephants are just big rino rapers and that is all

elephants are also known to rape rinos did you know that?

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/114/302939773_b17000067b_m.jpg http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/519929/2/istockphoto_519929_rhino_rear.jpg

Easy mistake to make!

I can't believe I just googled "rhino ass" :(

Like that's the first time you've done that.

he is an elephnt fyi

elephants never forget an ass

Having the strength to rape a rhino doesn't lessen the case for elephants being hardcore.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2400/1920911302_c93f843774_o.jpg

GOD FOR THE LAST TIMES AN ELEPHANT ISNT HARDCORE ITS JUST BIG - IF ONE WAS AS BIG AS ME I WOULD FUCKING KILL IT IN A SECOND DEADLY

Woah dude, you're bigger than an elephant?

YEAH

HOW DO YOU TYPE WITH YR BIG FEET???

JUST LIKE THIS

http://www.klearconnect.com/fcgi-bin/image-scale.fcgi?i=1831&w=150&h=150

http://www.kidlink.org/gallery2/d/3285-2/elefante.jpg

everyone can read this amaze article abt how elphnts raep rinos and are generally just neurotic fuckups

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/08/magazine/08elephant.html?ex=1162094400&en=8e823134e605f346&ei=5070

elphnts raep rinos and are generally just neurotic fuckups

Nature's Mike Tyson

DOOD YOU SRSLY BANNED ME FROM ILC?

That's harsh.

lololololololololol

I had a mosquito jpeg all ready to go.

did you guys even see my polar bear?

cuz neither did the T-Rex...

?

Yeah I meant to say that is a beautiful cartoon Kerm.

ok this thread

Thanks, Nood.

http://www.klearconnect.com/fcgi-bin/image-scale.fcgi?i=1831&w=150&h=150

elpanht is holding pred siihp?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzz/Drunk_Elephants

A grizzly bear deliberately walked over to where I was standing near its cage and farted at me, then walked away. I don't know if a gorilla fart could possible be worse.

Seriously.

I don't know how I missed this thread but I've got every pro Mike Tyson fight on video and a fair number of his amateur bouts too. Nothing but respect for Tyson in his prime - he didn't have much going defensively, but he didn't need to. His lateral movement was straight poetry, and his combos were hardly even combos - more like one move containing several punches, all of them haymakers. His from-downtown uppercut, the iconic one, looks better than it lands most of the time, but the same can't be said of his right cross, and whether you want to call the short crossing finish-him-off punch that follows a jab or a short cross, well, that one was incredible too. Watching these fights en route to the unified title feels like being in the presence of a single idea beautifully executed; I don't think history will remember him as one of the greats, because it only took a few people who weren't terrified to punch back to expose his weaknesses - he forgot his training once flustered, and the whole point of Tyson as a boxer was the execution of a brutal, effective plan.

It would have taken Bruce Lee approximately five minutes to take him apart.

in re: thread question, grizzly bear

Alright, so....

Julia Child, in her prime, v. Rachel Ray.

It would have taken Bruce Lee approximately five minutes to take him apart.

I think I buy this. Although Tyson was fast, he was especially fast for his weight class. You don't get heavyweight fighters that had that kind of speed. So, a good deal of the HOLY SHIT factor was that he fought larger, slower dudes. Still a bad muhfucker in his prime, though.

And I think that JOhn D. brings up an EXCELLENT point - Tyson was ALL offense. He was not a technical boxer AT ALL. Buster Douglas was the first to expose him via the use of a good jab, and then it was all she wrote. Bruce Lee wouldn't be able to take a Tyson uppercut, but he wouldn't stand in the same place for long enough.

Bruce Lee in a pick-apart, wear-him-down style win.

there's only one way to settle this...

the bear. sharper claws, bigger body mass.

that's if the gorilla actually stayed to fight. gorillas are smarter than a bear and could easily tear a human apart but generally they aren't aggressive. grizzlies are known to be pretty vicious when they want to be, taking on polar bears and the like.

now, a king kong sized gorilla would pwn the shit out of grizzly.

im not going to get into this again, but i would like to point out that i have been otm on this thread

and my assertion that tyson would beat lee isnt based on a huge respect for tyson as a fighter, just that i think people vastly overestimate bruce lee's abilities as a fighter and its impossible to separate what he was actually capable of from the mounds of urban legend BS that have grown up around him

obviously urban legend bruce lee who knows 600 'death grips' and did pushups without touching the ground and could lift two horses with one finger and had a dick the size of a pringles tube and killed chuck norris could beat bruce lee, i just dont think he exists

uh, could beat mike tyson

A grizzly would fuck up Mike Tyson, Julia Child, Bruce Lee, a silverback and another grizzly.

It all comes down to armaments. The bear would have an F-16, and the gorilla would have a Mig.

max you're not otm is the thing. it has nothing to do with urban legends - death grips, all that. that's just stuff people say to be funny. it has to do with hand speed and conditioning. it has to do with his having been a boxing champion in '58 prior to even beginning his martial arts training. he's just a more complete offensive & defensive fighting package than Tyson. if you're gonna make him lace up and have them fight a Nevada Boxing Commission 12-rounder, OK fine, Tyson would win if he could get a punch in. but Tyson's only weapon is a punch which he has to land for it to be effective, and Lee's defensive skills are such that he could afford to fight inside (=staying in close) without getting hit. he would land blows on Tyson without having to take any, or many, in return, and while Lee's blows won't kill a man instantly, about ten or twenty of them to the temple will knock the same man out.

by the same criterion, Lee could probably not have beaten young Muhammad Ali or Clay before the name change, because, again, you have to hit a guy to beat him.

I know what i'd vote for!
http://klb.uwstout.edu/GorillaYawning01_2.gif @ http://www.wildnatureimages.com/images%202/050612-100..jpg

john d squarely otm, but he's forgetting the samurai ghost that ate bruce lee's dad- that would probably put bruce off long enough for tyson to rip his head off

John D otm in re: Tyson. Everybody and his kid sister have been otm about the grizz over the gorilla.

Mike Tyson would have like 4 inches and at least 75 pounds on Bruce Lee! There are lots of people, historical and contemporary, and that could beat Mike Tyson in a fight (even in his prime), but not Bruce Lee.

> you have to hit a guy to beat him.

NOT SO! You can grab him and drop him on his head (see Quinton Jackson/Chang Sheng Tung/Masahiko Kimura) you can choke him or twist his arm or leg till they break (various Gracies and Machados/the aforementioned Kimura/Farmer John Burns) and so on.

dan i in a straight up boxing match, yr probably right, but im under the impression this is about balls-to-the-wall kill-or-be-killed kinda shit, in which case, my money is squarely on lee, & i give him well under 5 mins

straight boxers are bad in mixed martial arts stuff cuz they haven't ever trained to defend their legs

on the other hand, combat sports have weight classes for a reason

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/102/300077799_69e6e70436.jpg?v=0

seriously the best thread ever

OTM.

I may be flattering myself, but I do think that my hummingbird vs. seahorse challenge is an important part of this thread's (indisputable) excellence.

maybe your urban legend hummingbirds that flap their wings at thousands of miles an hour and shit

of course, urban legend mike tyson punched a guy without having gloves/wrists strapped a couple of years ago in a street brawl and broke most of his fingers.

I love this thread apart from the shame that my sole contribution was googling rhino ass to justify rapist elephants.

don't be, it's one of the high points.

im not going to get into this again, but i would like to point out that i have been otm on this thread

― max, Monday, April 28, 2008 11:21 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark

RONG RONG RONG

like i actually just re-read this whole thing and got for real ANGRY reading that garbage

^^^totally forgot about how rad this shit is