Thanksgiving - dos and don'ts

I have no access to free turducken.

Are there, like, Thanksgiving phrases? I should use?

too? many? questions? have led to a glut of ? marks

all the americans are asleep or out partying - revive tomorrow!

i'm just back from partying, and there really isn't anything to say other than enjoy your meal. since you'll be in arlington, i would guess there'll be football (american) on the tv, pretend you care. thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since it tends to be a lot less intense than xmas and really only involves eating. bad family dynamics can be a problem, but booze will often smooth that over, if it doesn't facilitate manslaughter.

There's no particular Thanksgiving etiquette. Eat well and compliment the cooks.

No booze will be in evidence :-(

Best take some then (even if it's hidden in a bag or something and you have to go to the loo to take a swig)

If anyone found me sneaking booze it'd be a baaaad 'first impression on parents' thing. I think they'd rather have me drink my own solitary wine, all alone, which would be even worse. I could have a quadruble dose of Rescue Remedy.

quadruble = quadruple when on Rescue Remedy.

Are they teetotal or is it a dry county? At least it means you can't make a fool of yourself, which I'd probably manage.

So - are you and English girl with an American boyfriend? That's almost unheard of!

Though why I think your user name is female I don't know.

this may be tricky - you are required to relax. in some american households, the observation of thanksgiving requires the televised spectation of something called "football."

They're teetotal. Southern Baptists, though not of the most conservative bent. Yeah, I'm an English girl with an American boyfriend (if you can call a 40-year-old your boyfriend):

Partner, pardner?

Really, is UK g/f, US b/f almost unheard of? why?

Taste everything, say "this is delicious" oftener than strictly necessary. Offer to help with the clean up (this can get you away from the TV football sometimes). Play "pilgrims & indians" with the little children outside when everyone else is napping in front of the TV. Have them lie around the yard as if they were starving, then teach them to bury a sardine next to every piece of popcorn they plant.

ahem, and if you can call a 35 year old a girl. Meeting-parents scenario still as awful as ever.

Gabbneb, please give me a killer phrase I can use to sound knowledgeable about said 'football', or a cute phrase to use that will show I am adorably trying.

Oh Jaq, I am completely lost. I know that I know sod all about US history, but please to explain the sardine symbolism...

supposedly, when the Pilgrims were starving after their first winter trying to live off hardtack, Squanto (a native American who had learned english) helped them by teaching them about corn (maize), like that people <i>could</i> eat it. And that for it grow best, you planted 3 kernels in a mound with a small fish (which acted as a fertilizer).

hrmph. "could" emphasized because they all thought it was only for hog feed and not fit for humans.

Cool. I hope there will be some small children, as I quite fancy doing this.

I hear in Texas they carve their turkeys with handguns. YEEAHAWWWWWW RIDE EM COW BOY

I should bring a small pocketknife of the kind used by British schoolboys of the fifties and say that I would love to carve in the traditional British manner. An hour later, the smiles would still be frozen on everyone's faces.

Turkey is one of the worst meat or meat-like substances on earth. If you're British I'm sure you'll do just fine.

The British girl + American boy thing - I'm not sure anyone's put a finger on it but on ILE (and on Sinister before it) it has almost ALWAYS been British boy + American girl. At one point I counted twelve of the latter and zero of the former. Weird huh?

My old girlfriend from the start of the decade was Scottish...

Since you are going to the Dallas area, what to do about the obligatory football game is easier. Every year on Thanksgiving the Dallas Cowboys play at home. This year it's against the New York Jets. So to fit in well, be ready to speak positively of the Dallas Cowboys, and if you can manage it, against the Jets, or against New York more generally. Seriously, this is an easy assignment, because all you have to do is eat, smile, cheer for the Cowboys, and (optionally) bash New York.

Damn Ne wYorkers. Call those Northeastern liberals a bunch of tea drinking sissies, and you'll win many a Texan heart.

Burt Stanton speaks the truth

Really, Thanksgiving is one of the most laid-back American holidays. There are no flags to wave, presents to open, shit getting blown up, and you don't have to stay up until midnight. You just eat a big meal and then settle in on the couch to watch football.

If you want to surprise your hosts during the game, memorize this phrase: "I've noticed that since David Lee left for Arkansas, Tony Romo has gotten much better with his passing. Patrick Crayton needs to start catching more of those passes, though."

Committed to memory.
My b/f is a tea drinking sissy himself of course, having spent 7 years in the UK.

What do y'all do for Thanksgiving? I mean, who do you spend it with?

The entire extended family, ALWAYS, at the home of whomever offers to host. And no one at my house watches football, it would be considered weird and boring and everyone would leave the room and go back where there was a fire in the fire place and other people to talk to who weren't focused on the box with moving pictures. Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine as I HATE American football and my fam has luckily never thought it was part of family time.

There are usually kids and dogs running around, and sometimes people go for a walk in the cold either to work up an appetite or to ward off the post-turkey somnolence. A few cigarettes will be snuck outside, and then you return to cups of coffee and picking at the cookie trays. It's genius.

The entire extended family, ALWAYS, at the home of whomever offers to host.

Yeah, pretty much. I skip out each year for a couple of reasons -- I'd rather avoid the travel hassles, since I'm the only one down in SoCal, and I see everyone at Xmas anyway (this year I'm seeing a good chunk of 'em in early December too for my dad's birthday). Plus covering the open day we have at the library on the Friday means I get out of working other holiday shifts the rest of the year, which is handy. So my surrogate family is good friend Stripey's, who I've been to Thanksgiving with now for about...ten years? Something like that.

Oh right. I haven't been home for Tgiving in a long time, cos I can't afford to do in Nov and again for Christmas...but usu I go to someone else's family day and someone from my fam calls me and they pass the phone around. It's all very FAMILY-FIED.

My tradition is not to attend my family's Thanksgiving, mostly because it's at my sister's house, and she is an evangelical terror who long ago turned Thanksgiving into a more religious event than it ever had been in my family (despite my father having been a clergyman and all).

What do y'all do for Thanksgiving? I mean, who do you spend it with?

http://centerstage.net/photoarchive/6596.jpg

old style on tap is only $1.25 on thursday's at helen's two way lounge.

That, Chicago Kevin, is where I would like to drop in during one of Laurel's walks.

I really like the idea of gatecrashing a close friend's Christmas. I should have got organised enough to do it this year. Instead my b/f is coming here to my family's Xmas. I am seriously dreading this.

helen's is also open 365 days a year so i'll probably be there for xmas as well.

Allow me to paint a picture: Helen's is what would happen if you dropped Carol's into Logan Square, upped the grit factor, added in a bunch of untrusting looks when you walk through the door, lowered the prices on Old Style and sucked all the fun out of the karaoke night.

"Two Way" refers to the bar's two entrances—one on Fullerton and one on Milwaukee, but the "lounge" reference is beyond me. If you ask me, I'd call it "Helen's Two Inn." (Get it?) But moving on, this is a grizzled, old-timers spot for sure: The night I dropped in, everyone was on a first-name basis (except for me), and a dog wandered in and out of stool-legs before clunking down beneath the pool table. There's even a stage should any aspiring musicians want to share a tiny amount of floor space.

Frosty drafts (accent on frosty—the mugs are nice and cold) of Old Style will set you back a grand total of $1.25, knocked back to a buck on Mondays and Thursdays. In true Chicago roadhouse tradition, if you want something else on draft, you better hike down to Quenchers—it's Old Style, and only Old Style, in here. If you're looking to get all fancy-pants, turn to the three boxes of Franzia wine sitting behind the counter.

I live in a college town far away from my parents and wife's parents, but I have a pretty big family of my own now and so we just have a big bash either at my house or at a friend's here. I try to invite students who have nowhere else to go for the day because they live too far away, but now that I work at a state school there's not many of those. We spend the whole day cooking---the last two years I've smoked two turkeys, and plan on doing so again this year. Then we eat, talk with friends, and crash. It's the best holiday of the year.

My maternal family doesn't turn on football either. Mom watches the entirety of the Macy's Thanksgiving parade, and then they watch DVDs after dinner.

They're different.

Smoked turkey! That sounds better than any turkey I've ever had.

who do we spend it with? Generally, just immediate family, though there's none of mine in the area so it's all Mr. Jaq's. Last year, we had ILXor friends over for the day after (tons of leftovers), and that was THE BEST. I'd much prefer cooking for a houseful of friends. We aren't sporty types (and don't watch TV really), so no football for us.

Here's the Thanksgiving Timetable thread from ILCooking, so you'll have an idea of the sorts of food to expect.

I promise you that smoked turkey is better than any turkey you've ever had.

i dunno, i still prefer smoking cigarettes.

Undoubtedly the best option.

The smoked turkey is incredible. It's hard to compare with smoking a cigarette...it certainly takes longer...

Urk. Just searched Thanksgiving and there are so many threads already. Sorry folks - I should have tagged onto one of those. Thanks for the link Jaq. I will eat nothing but veg, fruit for a week in preparation.

They better have some smoked bird over in Arlington!

I will eat nothing but veg, fruit for a week in preparation.

Can't hurt. Thing to remember: leftovers. You'll be eating the meal for about a week.

Since you mention southern Baptists - expect a long prayer of thanks before the meal begins. Try not to think about the food getting cold.

Have the little kids show you how to make a turkey with the outline of your hand on a sheet of paper. They'll all know how to do it.

don't: discuss politics, religion, race, abortion, gwot, etc.

do: ask their thoughts on tony romo and wade phillips. careful asking their thoughts on terrell owens lest you get into the race thing. offer to help with dishes or something. and when you are distributing gravy, learn whether the bowl part is attached to the plate part before you pick it up.

OMG that is such a good point, the gravy bowl can be a real Waterloo. Why do I think you learned this the hard way, John?

ljubljana, my honest advice is don't try to fit in too much-- you're a good kind of foreign to most americans, and they like the novelty. nobody will expect you to know anything about football, and if they watch it, some relative will no doubt take great joy in explaining things to you for the first time.

i think if you are just extra polite--with pleases and thank yous and 'wow, this is the best candied yam i've ever had!' all over the place-- and friendly, everyone will love you.

i feel kinda bad because my family is so small/lazy at this point that we're just going to some random restaurant for thanksgiving, so toby's first thanksgiving won't be very traditional at all.

Since my lightbulb has gone in my living room and the new one will not screw in (I may even start a thread on dealing with this) the conditions are perfect in my lamp-lit room for attempting the turkey-hand trick as shadowplay. So far no dice.

Nooooo, staying way, way off those topics mookieproof mentions, unless they want to quiz me earnestly and find out whether or not I am leading their son toward Satan, in which case I will just answer as honestly as I can. But I think they will save that for a later meeting.

Oooh, thanks for the gravy tip. Hmmm. Ouch.

Colette - yeah, this is totally my game plan for the most part. The trouble is I think it's just going to be a very few people, maybe even just the four of us, which makes it harder to just spend the time answering the same questions from a load of different people and being taught stuff.

Do US folk know about Christmas pudding? If not I will take them one that they can sample a month later.

We only know about it from Christmas carols. Maybe if you call it "figgy pudding" someone recognize the reference.

Bring 'em some sloe gin too, if you think they'd be into that.

Pssst Southern Baptist. Probably teetotalers.

Brother. Then bring 'em some Lucozade.

show up hammered, pat everyone on the back and shout "HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!" Then disappear.

(I know this from experience)

enough with the Cowboys jokes, yeesh.

If it's only four people, there's no reason at all for it to be anything other than a nice dinner. Just be on good manners, take the normal kind of cues from yr hosts, the usual. There's no particular tradition or routine or anything you'll need to know except there'll probably be cranberry sauce involved, not sure if that's an American thing. But everyone will love that you're "foreign" and be delighted to host yr first Thanksgiving, I'm sure!

If only they drank, the whole gift from the UK thing would be sooo easy. Sloe gin would have been even cooler than my first thought, Laphroig whisky. But instead it will have to be chocolates and olde worlde style English chutney-type things and jams.

Thanks Laurel - I will update you all / y'all on the whole experience...

some families have a big spread at one table, everyone says grace, eats, then wanders off to their separate groups to do whatever afterward

or it could be like my family, where we put stuff in the kitchen, and eat off of whatever TV trays and table space is available the general living area and then stay around there when they've finished eating

Ooo! bring them some McVities plain chocolate digestives and chocolate Hobnobs!

Go all out, just bring haggis and say it's Scottish grits.

Scottish grits with.... additions.

ok, mcvities and hobnobs - you're on! they go down well there do they? I suppose they're a long way from cookie-style cookies.

Mmm Hobnobs with chocolate bottoms. Lemon curd is good, chutneys as you said, maybe some nice loose breakfast tea. They may or may not have tea strainers but if not it will seem, again, charmingly "foreign" and fancy, being British.

Lemon curd - check!

Chutney - check!

Strange damson jammy gunk to eat with cheese - check!

Victoria plum jam - check!

Tea - apparently not into that unless iced.

important to recognize the difference between "tea" and "hot tea";-)

And "hockey" and "field hockey"

Yeah, can you even get sloe gin in the U.S.? I've never seen it for sale anywhere I've lived (all o'er the wild Rocky mountains).

As it's Texas, you probably know, but it won't be that cold, maybe sweater weather.

Don't wear "wizard sleeves" or puffy sleeves as they will trail through the gravy dish. (I made this mistake when I was lil' goffed-out teenager. They srsly go straight for the gravy, as if of their own accord).

Hell of a lot of PIES. Cranberry sauce may be from a can. I have no idea what to do with cranberry sauce so I can't help you there.

Thanksgiving is ridiculously chill. A little too slow-paced for me in fact. I always brought a book in my bag or some magazines when dining at relatives' pads, for something to do when the football dragged on all lazy, sleepy afternoon. But seeing as how you'll be with your boyfriend maybe that will be nicer than my dullsville rels. But if you get all drained by hours of parent-type questions like "so how is England, so what is your job like, so how is your first Thxgiving" then a book might be a nice way to buy yrself some semi-alone time, reading while the gang watches TV or such.

Them is wise words. That's certainly my tactic at Christmas at my folks' place. I only have one novel at the moment that I haven't read and isn't packed in a box, so I should stop reading it now and take it with me. Also, it's Walter Mosely, so, very, y'know, American. Or I should take a book I need to read for my dissertation and then no-one will dare to interrupt me.

I'm really annoyed that his brother isn't going to be there. It's more fun meeting siblings than parents.

Ha! gravy sleeves... I have done that in my yoof as well in similar goff stage...

<i>Yeah, can you even get sloe gin in the U.S.? I've never seen it for sale anywhere I've lived (all o'er the wild Rocky mountains).</i>

Liquor Mart in Boulder, Colorado sell sloe gin. Steuben's in Denver has a slow gin fizz on the menu.

Smoked turkey! That sounds better than any turkey I've ever had.

You can get that over in the UK you know. And it is delicious. In fact come up to ours at xmas and we'll all have some!

Oh wait...

I really like the idea of gatecrashing a close friend's Christmas. I should have got organised enough to do it this year. Instead my b/f is coming here to my family's Xmas. I am seriously dreading this.

Ok, so how longs he over for? Spend a couple of days down south then head up here!?

I'm also having my first ever Thanksgiving next week! My in-laws are a bit more relaxed though so I doubt there's any etiquette for me to breach. I'm really looking forward to it actually, mmm food.

Ned, yes why not! We're committed to Xmas at my Dad's but then heading up to Glasgow for new year, can we drop in on you on the way? will be in touch about it... and if anyone can smoke a turkey successfully in the UK, that man is of course you.

Enjoy it, Colonel P. Where are you headed?

My in-laws are a bit more relaxed though so I doubt there's any etiquette for me to breach.

Ah, so YOU can bring the sloe gin. (Plans for Saturday are coming together v. well, BTW, should be a big ol' get-together!)

Have them lie around the yard as if they were starving, then teach them to bury a sardine next to every piece of popcorn they plant.

supposedly, when the Pilgrims were starving after their first winter trying to live off hardtack, Squanto (a native American who had learned english) helped them by teaching them about corn (maize), like that people <i>could</i> eat it. And that for it grow best, you planted 3 kernels in a mound with a small fish (which acted as a fertilizer).

i can't be the only american never to have heard about this sardine business, right? obv i know about squanto/pilgrims/indians/etc. but wouldn't have any idea what someone was talking about if they came for thanksgiving and suggested burying sardines next to corn kernels.

If anyone asks you what you're thankful for, say you're thankful for a chance to experience a great new holiday with such good and welcoming company.

Or: for your skull.

It protects your necessary brain!

Saying what yr thankful for is the boringest and least-liked-by-me Thxgiving tradition.

But it's kind of the ONLY Thanksgiving tradition, apart from the menu!

I have never heard this sardine business either. Our teachers only taught us how to draw a turkey by tracing the outline of my hand.

Ditto.

I think I learned the fish thing from some generic animated Thxgiving special.

I have never heard this sardine business either. Our teachers only taught us how to draw a turkey by tracing the outline of my hand.

yes!!

I'm an American and my wife's a Brit.

I didn't grow up Baptist, but I did grow up in Texas. Just bring your own booze and drink it openly. Tell them it is your culture. Insist on singing the C of E hymns you learned in school.

They will be far too polite to say anything or even think ill of you, especially if you sing the hymns. Baptists are civilized people unlike Church of Christ-ers.

I think we learned about the fish thing in school.

I can't wait for Thxgiving, I need the long weekend and the getting drunk in Milwaukee. I think we're doing a totally non-trad menu too.

Ljubljana - I'm going to Lakewood, California (suburb of LA). Not the first time visiting the in-laws though, it'll be my 3rd time.

Ned - shockingly, I don't actually know what sloe gin is! I've never had it. I'm not that big a fan of gin though. Er, actually what is the plan for Saturday? :) I guess we'll get to Amoeba late afternoon, go a-splurgin', then meet somewhere round there for FAP?

What am I thankful for? I'm going to start with something like Nabisco's answer and segue into something like Abbott's answer, ending in an affected self-concious laugh. Sound like a plan?

Hymns - I am going for Eddie Izzard's version accompanied by the boneless arm movements. 'Ohhhh Lord what is my haaaaircut aaalllll abouuuuut....'

'Take a litre bottle of gin, and drink half a litre...'

Buy a bottle of whatever you tipple, swig it every now and the presaging each swig with 'The Blood of Christ'.

With the emphasis on the 'Christ' getting shoutier each swig.

the cranberry sauce is eaten with the turkey. it is not a dessert. make a joke about being high on tryptophan. curse Six Flags for not being open for Thanksgiving. root for the Cowboys!!

make a comment about how Arlington "exceeds all expectations" and let them wonder exactly how you mean that

Some things I've gotten used to in American thanksgivings (most of which I like). These could be case-specific for my girlfriends:

1. drinks tend to be soda and liquor, rather than water and wine.
2. some families put marshmallow on sweet potato. don't go near it.
3. no speeches before eating. people just start as soon as they have food, all at different times.
4. tv is loud. football game lasts forever. not worth trying to follow.
5. hence, no music on. ambiance is bright lights, sports commentators and advertisements.
6. everyone knows something vague about indians, food, and thanks, but it's not worth trying to ask about some deeper history.
7. compared to the idea of a dinner party, there's no real structure. it's more a free-form hanging out and eating thing. in fact, it goes on so long that later on you can easily watch tv (football), pick up a magazine, maybe even have a snooze, and no one will think it weird.
8. thanksgiving families i have known are really friendly, generous, and smile lots. it's great.
9. you will leave with leftovers, and shouldn't turn them down.

2. some families put marshmallow on sweet potato. don't go near it.

Put do try the ones with Corn Flakes baked on top.

paulhw visits a part of america i am unfamiliar with. also, there is no deeper history, thx.

i found paulhw's description absolutely uncanny, especially coming from a ferner.

well, he did say that his observations might be specific to the families he visited.

paul is 100% otm from #5 on

Mmmm, marshmallows. I have to try.
I am not leaving unfortunately so will not take leftovers with me.... there for several days afterwards...

haha, Arlington exceeds expectations.... I will see how cheeky I feel...

don't forget the thanksgiving sandwich:

wonderbread
salt
gravy
stuffing
turkey
cranberry sauce
wonderbread

...nuke 'er inna microwave

Post Thanksgiving rituals- Friday afternoon is Texas vs Texas A&M so you're not done with football. Not by a long shot.

You might want to learn the Hook'em H0rns hand signal just in case.

Grab the remote and switch it to Fawlty Towers, which will be on PBS

Fawlty Towers watched in Texas! Unmissable.
Hoo'em Horns? Wonderbread? Please explain...

Hook'em, that is

Wonderbread ...
you have to use up the loaf bought to make the stuffing.
you can't really use "good" bread for stuffing, it gets too soggy.

Googled. Got it.

oh and Wonderbread is US brand of ultraprocessed soft white bread

hook'em horns explained here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hook_'em_Horns

Must practice... hand hurts...

the exceeds expectations line blows my mind for some reason

ask them to take you to Six Flags Holiday in the Park.

you can't make the devil sign? wow

they almost always show the drum corps finals on thxgiving

Wear loose fitting clothing

paul is 100% otm from #5 on

where I come from, no sports are watched (football is not recognized as either sport or entertainment), and eating is done together in the same place at the same time. perhaps you come from a place where people live in big houses rather than small apartments.

i wonder what a football-watching breakdown by region of country would reveal.

red states win

Jeez, I'm in Blue state heaven, and every house I've ever been to here is wall to wall football all day, the Lions then the Cowgirls. Which in my book is a huge plus.

they almost always show the drum corps finals on thxgiving

oh, cool, something decent to watch! i'll bet my brother and i can try to at least switch to this during breaks from the lions game. any idea of time/channel?

Do people get super drunk at Thanksgiving? I hope so.

you are crazy the marshmallow-yam thing is great!!

Ick. Yams are best baked with brown sugar, oranges, and lemons.

Walks on thanksgiving rule except they sometimes end up in me alone with Grandma having heart attack.

Six Flags looks like a good way to get out of the house.

If you have a pistol you might want to take that with you to Six Flags, just in case you get jumped.

Wear a pin that reads "official turkey taster."

Every one of us does this.

"Do people get super drunk at Thanksgiving? I hope so."

The three necessities, at least in my family: 1) booze 2) football 3) turkey-in that order.

I also forgot to mention it's my favorite holiday, by far.

Thanksgiving never seems to be the unbridled boozefest that Christmas always is.

do any of you brine your turkeys the day before? my family doesn't, but i went to a foodie friend's post-thanksgiving thanksgiving dinner and she did this. i think that and constant basting made the turkey taste amazing.

I've brined them the past 3 years and they are so good. I also get the old-fashioned standard bronze birds from a farm that lets them range free - their meat just has so much more deliciousness than a supermarket turkey.

Last year I brined two turkeys in a mix of salt, water, brown sugar, Southern Comfort, and oranges, lemons, and apples cut up, and let them go for about 36 hours. Then I smoked them. It was by far the best the best turkey I'd ever had.

That sounds too good to call turkey. Did you smoke them over apple wood?

oh, cool, something decent to watch! i'll bet my brother and i can try to at least switch to this during breaks from the lions game. any idea of time/channel?

i did some research and it looks like this is a thing of the past. :( it used to be on PBS, but in 2005 it switched to ESPN2, and not on thxgiving.

"Last year I brined two turkeys in a mix of salt, water, brown sugar, Southern Comfort, and oranges, lemons, and apples cut up, and let them go for about 36 hours. Then I smoked them. It was by far the best the best turkey I'd ever had."

I shouldn't have read this post. I need some of that, really bad.

oh lord, give me briny smoky turkey NOW please please please

my favorite thanksgiving memory is sitting on a couch in my ummmm step-aunt-in-laws(??) incredibly decorated living room watching the national dog show with my father-in-law.

of course, ive only had 3 thanksgivings but that was a lot of fun.

I shouldn't have read this post. I need some of that, really bad.

Seconded.

im sure it tastes great but why does food always have to sound so gross. in this case like a turkey soaked in the remains of a cat food can by stoners and cigar aficionados?

Uh you don't know where pickles come from, so you might not want to get too het up about a turkey recipe.

uh settle down

Oh I'm settled, I thought it was hilarious. Maybe next year you can try another charming American custom: visiting the spaghetti patch.

This thread my replace this other thread as my favorite Thanksgiving thread.

my = may

all this talk is making me hungry for stuffing. which kind of sucks because there's almost no chance the place we're going will have vegetarian stuffing. maybe i should just make some this weekend. mmm, stuffing.

yeah I know it sounds like I just tossed a bunch of unrelated things together and soaked the turkey in that, but it really was terrific. It wasn't apple cores or anything, just whole cut up fruit. I did smoke over apple wood. This year I bought a bunch of pecan wood which I'm going to try. When I smoke pork or beef I typically use something stronger, usually hickory, but for poultry I like something softer. Cherry is also very nice.

All you turkey smokers, do you smoke it on a normal barbecue or do you need some kind of special equipment or something?

Wanko, while I don't have a pistol this would be the perfect trip on which to acquire one.

I use a Weber Smokey Mountain smoker, which isn't the same as a usual (US-style) grill. It's just a convenient design for cooking at low temperatures (usually at about 200-220 F), but you can do that with just about any grill + enough care.

I didn't even realise you could buy special smoker grills. Actually, I've never understood what grilling and broiling both mean in the US. I think they mean something different in the UK.

my 25th birthday is on thanksgiving this year:-/

(xpost)
Broiling means the heat source is above the food; grilling means the heat source is below the food.

latebloomer, do you still get a cake? I wld be bummed if someone tried to foist a pumpkin pie w/ candles in on me.

I tried to use our gas grill as a smoker a few years ago. Here's pics. It wasn't entirely successful, but the ribs tasted great.

yes i still get a cake! there would be much blood and suffering if there wasn't.

Turkey-shaped cake?

Cake-shaped turkey?

turkey-flavoured cake?

Flavor-caked turkey?

piecaken

^^^ at a pre-thanksgiving potluck last weekend, my friend made carrot cake cupcakes, then made an entire pumpkin pie, put the entire pie in the food processor and blended it with cream cheese & sugar, and then piped the pumpkin pie filling INTO the carrot cupcakes. holy squanto they were GOOOOOD

WOW!

Was actually making the pie neccesary, though?

*necessary

Never anything wrong with making a pumpkin pie for the hell of it. In fact I might do that tonight.

beyond necessity into the realm of HIGH ARTE

Flying out tomorrow. Abilene, then Arlington. I will be reporting back on my cultural experience.

Cultural experiences to date:

1. Man telling me (after long discussion of how there is nothing in East New Mexico): 'Well, but we love our country of course, just as you are of the UK'. If only he knew that the UK national hobby is knocking the UK and trying to move to the continent.

2. Fabulous sunset over amazing rolling flat scenery.

3. Drinks refills. Why pay more for a large drink when you can pay for a small one, then get refills? Please explain, usilxors.

4. Funny looks for walking.

5. Drive-in meal. Of much much better quality than you'd generally get for a similar take-away meal in the UK.

just as you LOVE the UK. sorry.

You pay for the convenience of not having to wait for the waitress to refill your glass. At fast-food places, it's so you can refill your bucket and take it with you.

Hahaha it is true that there is nothing in East NM, save a very pretty night sky.

Abt refills: if you are at a sit-down restaurant, a large cup is nicer bcz it usually takes them 10 minutes to come around and refill it. In a fast food or cafeteria kind of place: maybe so you can take the large, refilled soda home with you (I do this when traveling so I will not have to buy another bev for a long time). But most likely it's 'perceived best value' as it's like 35 cents more, or they are just used to getting the large.

Or what PP said far more succinctly.

foutain soda is like a 99% profit business so it doesn't really matter what is charged for it.

This article should explain everything.

word on the street is that they will be playing hitchcock films all day on some channel!

we've got a post-thxgiving bring your leftovers potluck planned.

That does indeed explain *everything*. What would we do without the Onion?

They should have Twilight Zone marathons every holiday on at least 2 channels.

What drive-thru was it?

Sonic.

Did you get the DEEP-FRIED mac'n'cheese bites?

I got a salad - what a wimp!!! I got fed a huge breakfast at my B&B, is my excuse. It was a great salad though. B/f got double cheesburger w/tons of grease, but it looked good.

Sonic has good burgers, you should have got one. On Tues they are half price (or 2 for 1).

ljub, isnt life better with free refills on fountain soda?? it is one of the only reasons i could never take living in the UK again

I got a salad

Ha ha! Are you saving yourself for the thanksgiving meal?

5. Drive-in meal. Of much much better quality than you'd generally get for a similar take-away meal in the UK.

This depresses me. It would be so easy to do something similar in the UK but for some reason we don't. Why?

Here's to everyone who does not have to travel tonight and who does not have to travel on Sunday. Or even travel at all. We are wise, wise people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7_MYrVzU-Y

How do I shot day after Thanksgiving?

Well, hey ho.

The fact that it was just the four of us made it pretty difficult. I couldn't hit the right note with my b/f's mom. No topic of conversation seemed to last more than 40 seconds. Then back to the silence or else another forced topic. She's actually a pretty interesting and sharp person, but I just couldn't hit it off with her in an unforced way somehow. Sigh. His Dad was much more relaxed, but unfortunately so much so that he was pretty much silent.

Times called by b/f's ex-girlfriend's name: 4

Road rage incidents leaving in their wake residual doubts about health of frontal lobes of b/f: 1

Games of Mexican Train won by me: 1

Games of Mexian Train spectacularly lost by me: 11

Veiled questions about status of faith/veiled hopes that all Brits are really Anglicans even if they don't know it: not as many as there could have been, but two or three slipped in there

Unknown contemporary Christian hymns mouthed in church on Sunday: 4

Number of times I had to sit through erectile dysfunction ad on TV with entire family: 2

Faux pas: 3 (that I remember)
1. attempting to go to informal coffee shop meal of salad 'n' soup in jeans, being asked to get changed before leaving;
2. not understanding why I was being offered someone's address, then realising it was so I could write them a thank you note for said meal, despite OTT effusive thanks before, during and after its consumption. US is a more formal culture - that really came home to me on this trip.
3. Mentioning in lighthearted way any differences between US and UK culture, which then became reasons for mom to worry that I didn't like said things. Like ice in drinks. No point protesting that I don't care either way. Or like Americans saying 'she' and 'he' more than peoples' names. She is now convinced I find this terribly rude.

References to divine intervention and looks in my direction as if for agreement, followed by attempt to look ENTIRELY NEUTRAL on my part: 6 (all during above lunch)

Beers chugged in DFW airport on way to Washington (for work) where I am now: 2, and they tasted fantastic

What about y'alls' thanksgivings?

Ahhahahahha. Oh god, Baptists. I am so sorry.

The jeans thing rly surprises me, tho!! I mean, please. Maybe that's the Southern coming out? Us Yankees wear jeans everywhere, even occas to CHURCH.

They sound a bit like they were set on being difficult? Unless they were just really really nervous.

I would not say, on the whole, that the US is a more formal culture... unless it was Opposite Day and what I really meant was "OH GOD NO, I've never written a thank-you note in my life and my mother is from Tennessee."

Please, if there's any way to stop yourself, please do not assume those people share any cultural traits with the rest of the country whatsoever.

then realising it was so I could write them a thank you note for said meal

Oh for pity's sake. Real people do not do this. That's insane.

I believe you have had an unfortunate encounter with a small cult who, bizarrely enough, have structured their lives around a believe that an invisible man lives in the sky. These are very strange people.

Well, either that or they over-estimated YOUR usual level of formality. I am firmly of the belief that a lot of us have been acculturated to think that a higher-than-usual degree of sophistication/worldliness and polish goes with an English accent, they may have been v nervous about being proper ENOUGH. Just a guess, tho.

I think his mom was really really nervous. His dad was fine. She just didn't know what to do with me. I was really trying to be nice and interested in everything but that kept leading me to talk about differences rather than finding nice safe, safe, safe common ground...

Yeah, there were loads of people in church with jeans on! Not me though, by that stage... and my b/f had to borrow his Dad's cords.

Mom from Alabama, Dad from Eastern New Mexico.

1. attempting to go to informal coffee shop meal of salad 'n' soup in jeans, being asked to get changed before leaving;
2. not understanding why I was being offered someone's address, then realising it was so I could write them a thank you note for said meal, despite OTT effusive thanks before, during and after its consumption. US is a more formal culture - that really came home to me on this trip.

I think this was more your boyfriend's family than U.S. culture.

It's definitely not a southern thing, not when you see tank tops and ballcaps being worn at steak houses.

Kenan - my b/f is in the cult :-(

PP - that's a relief. I think yeah, she's maybe just a very formal person. She's 70-odd so maybe not so surprising.

I have never had to, or even had it implied, write a thank-you note to somebody for having me over for dinner.

I did once fill out a comment card at the International House of Pancakes. The service was THAT GOOD.

Laurel - I think that was a part of it, the expectations of English formality. It all just escalated somehow!

I have never felt so entirely directionless as standing in their kitchen, having laid the table and helped with the salad, not being asked to help with anything else but not being told emphatically to sit down and not help any more.

My b/f made it even worse by casually saying he didn't intend to go to church that Sunday, which nearly drove his mom to tears as she had clearly said to her friends that he and I would be there. I made him let her know that that was his stupid move and not an initiative of mine. We went to church.

The worst thing is, I intended to write his mom a nice note, because, you know, I was there for days and days and that DOES warrant a note. But now it'll look forced :-(

i have never suffered through anything like this when visiting the states, it sounds awful.

Awww it's already a better than average rom-com holiday movie, I can't wait for the sequel. The church thing I can't help you with, tho, yr bf is going to have to negotiate that one.

Someone is eventually going to have to speak up to someone re the formality, I suspect. I suggest planting your feet and crossing your arms and saying firmly but kindly "NOW DON'T YOU TREAT ME LIKE COMPANY. Give me those dishes, I'd LOVE to have something to do, I'm just at loose ends...was the strawberry jam a personal recipe?" etc. Repeat as needed.

Can I bring out my Texas hate, or should I allow this thread to just keep simmering?

http://www.cmt.com/asm/texas_tourism/2007/img/texas_nav_home.gif

Lovey lovey, I should take my own advice more often, I know, but nothing that flows from your own good nature and sense of the appropriate will seem forced! Do exactly what you do with a little extra warmth -- just in case these people end up related to you in future....

PP - go ahead, I should hear the worst now! Though my Abilene experience was actually good. The theologians we hung out with were actually much more sensitive about dealing with atheists. And it was genuinely welcoming rather than in-yer-face welcoming. There's, er, one good museum. And one coffee shop, and one good sandwich place, and, er... the Frontier Texas museum.

Yeah, I did try the 'personal recipe' things and so on, and they worked, but only for about 5 seconds...

Oh but now I feel like I'm exaggerating about the awfulness. I mean, we did smile at each other and stuff and she might have really liked me, it's just that if she did, I couldn't tell...

These parents are from an alternate-universe Arlington. There are only about three restaurants in the city where the majority of guests WOULDN'T be wearing jeans. (excluding Luby's, where they'd be wearing old-person pants)

Hey, Texas. Feel free to declare your independence from the rest of the country whenever you feel like it. We're kinda tired of you being America's Butt Plug anyways.

-- Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, March 2, 2004 11:22 AM (Tuesday, March 2, 2004 11:22 AM) Bookmark Link

Dallas is nothing but freeways and Applebee's and BestBuys and La Quintas. Their biggest tourist attraction is a knoll of grass and a mall with a skating rink in it. The only "artsy" area is Deep Ellum, filled with bars that serve watered down Lone Star beer for people wanting to see some side project of Tripping Daisy.

The worst thing about Texas is how they puff out their fundamentalist Republican chests and strut about thinking that they live in God's Great Paradise, all the while admonishing the rest of us to Not Mess with Them. You could set fire to the state tomorrow and it'd still look the same.

A Texan calling someone else an asshole. That'd be like an asshole calling someone else a Texan.

-- Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, March 2, 2004 1:07 PM (Tuesday, March 2, 2004 1:07 PM) Bookmark Link

I've kinda cooled my jets since then, but I still hate Texas.

Miss Misery to the defence?

I'm off out now to eat a staid meal with a friend of my Dad's who I've never met who lives here, and who is from Texas (coincidence), and who I foolishly volunteered to eat a meal with. Though I think it will be a very nice meal, I only want to eat a sandwich in bed and get crumbs all over the bed. When I get home I'm going to kick back and slouch solidly for a month, even at work.

even Deep Ellum is well and truly fucked these days

Heh, it was Ms. Misery's thread that I went off in.

She and I have come to an understanding.

and not that I'd ever defend Dallas, but Arkansas-on-Texas hatred is amusingly one-sided. We barely pretend that Oklahoma exists.

dallas is awful

also the no jeans thing is baffling me

I would imagine that Abilene is a lot more relevant than Arlington in this case. Sounds like you're dealing with some uptight traditionalist types who are probably freaked out by fears of their kid getting corrupted by his furrin gf.

Can someone explain what, uh, "Mexican train" is?

Can someone explain what, uh, "Mexican train" is?

SRSLY.

sounds vaguely naughty?

speaking of southern hospitality.

Police on the look out for cross dressed crooks

Updated: Nov 25, 2007 11:49 PM

There's a search going on for three cross dressing crooks. Three-men dressed as women caused a commotion and started a fight at a fast food restaurant in the 3600 block of South Mendenhall.

It was definitely not business as usual at a local McDonald's Sunday night. Martez Brisco was working the drive-thru when a car full of angry transvestites pulled up to his window.

"Men trying to look like women, drag queens, transvestites is what they were," says Brisco.

There was an argument at the window and that's when things started to get a little strange.

"They come to the window, tap, tap, tap. I'm still ignoring them. I guess that just pissed them off worser," adds Brisco.

Three drag queens jumped out of the car, ran into the restaurant armed with a tire iron and started swinging at employees. But not before they disrobed kicking off their stiletto boots, hoop earrings, and jackets.

"They just decided they wanted to start a fight with the crew at McDonald's here. They began to get ready to fight taking clothing off to fight," says Lt. Trevor Tisby with Memphis Police Department.

Brisco adds, "He swung and hit my manager, manager swung and hit back, so they step back, get to takin' off they shoes, boots and whatever else they had to do to get satisfied to fight."

Albert Bolton has bandaids covering scratches where one of the drag queens mauled him with his fingernails. "I was fightin with 'em trying to protect him and he scratched me," says Bolton.

About that time, the manager grabbed a pot of hot french fry grease and launched it at them. One of the drag queens retaliated smacking the manager in the head with a wet floor sign sending him away in an ambulance.

Before they drove off, they smashed in the drive-thru window.

Police are working on a more detailed description of the transvestites. They're looking for a black car and three men dressed as women.

fuck, you can't make this shit up.

that would piss me off worser too, though.

x-post re: Mexican Trains.

It's a tile game, kind of like Dominoes. (Couldn't think of anything vile.)

I have never felt so entirely directionless as standing in their kitchen, having laid the table and helped with the salad, not being asked to help with anything else but not being told emphatically to sit down and not help any more.

GAH that is the awkwardest thing in the world, isn't it? You'd think some cooks were writing their dissertation, they're so demanding of being alone. (Maybe bcz they are easily angered by distractions (understandable when the distractions are 7 prepubescent children but not one adult!), but more likely some weird combination of pride/perceived politeness, "wouldn't want to make our guest work.") In this situation I just do it without asking! Hahaha I am setting table for you try and deny me this!

Plus, like a wide variety of people, old people can be nutty, esp. about formalities going away. I wouldn't worry that a thank you card to b/f's mom would seem forced. No one is ever, ever offended or critical of a guest's thank you note. Some people write thank you notes, most don't, but everyone loves getting one! A good 3-5 handwritten sentences of what you appreciated in particular is perfect. (Miss Manners is SCANDALIZED by thank you cards but I don't think Alibeners would be.)

The jeans thing sounds less like a cultural thing and more like a weirdly anal/fussy mom, mine is odd in that way "oh you cant wear JEANS, we're going OUT!". Like it is an affront to her feelings you haven't made an effort or some shit.

(O I am assuming the mom wanted that but I could be wrong sorry)

I thought Mexican trains was racing a train to get to the crossing. But I couldn't figure out how in the hell anyone hit 12 in a few days.

That is what I thought, my mom was always like "you can't go out like that in public!" ie t-shirt/jeans to church activities where the other kids all wore t-shirt/jeans.

Moms are funny people!

xp

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/4791/shotinmemphis1he8.jpg

And she is only six years old!

I wish my Texarkanan girlfriend was still on ILE to offer a casting vote on the "is Texas crappy" question.

Heh, the Mexican Train dominoes game was the least naughty thing I've done in many a long while. It was during Mexican Train that three of the four ex-girlfriend-callings happened. Maybe she was a pro.

Yeah, the jeans thing, you're probably right Tracye and Abbott - it was a pushy mom thing.

Gabbneb, Abilene was really relaxed by comparison. He has no family there, just his job.

I did score one spectacular goal with a box of English Violet Creams (thank you Gatwick Harrods).

Which side was she from, Mark?

That sounds like a painful Thanksgiving, but it yielded great posts, ljub.

Highlight of mine: at dinner, finally asking my Grandma, 90, about her weed smoking. (I brought up a memory of her passing a *cigarette* at a party) Apparently she kept her stash in the freezer in a Maxwell House can.

first thanksgiving without our dog :/

also the story about how she used trickery to get three racist officers at the recruiting office where she was working shipped off to the war.

i've never written a thank you note for someone taking me out for a meal, let alone soup. i can imagine it in a work-interview situation, but not in your case. i send notes for gifts and when someone cooks for us. yeah, i think the mom was a bit weird, we're not all like that!

It was during Mexican Train that three of the four ex-girlfriend-callings happened. Maybe she was a pro.

if she was a pro i'm not sure girlfriend is the correct term.

PP, she's from the right side :)

Washington, however, rocks (or the little I've seen of it).
If only I didn't detest my job and the meetings that go along with it, it would rock even more.
Mind you, it might just seem to rock after the Arlington experience.

I am thankful. That I do not have to go through the Arlington Baptist Version again this year. But hope the US ILXors have good plans?

Hooray!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/garden/19manners.html?em

Holy crap, the puppy.

This year it's a Maryland thanksgiving with mostly Britishers and one Tennesseean.

I made a rule for my Thanksgiving this year that if you're at my house before dinner you get to drink Bloody Maries!

DO: eat until you fall asleep in a chair.

DON'T: drink until you feel comfortable enough to talk.

Revive to remind myself that no matter how awkward this year's traditional awkward US thanksgiving might end up being, no-one's gonna be playing Mexican Train and calling me Susan.

Are there, like, Thanksgiving phrases? I should use?

― ljubljana, Sunday, November 11, 2007 4:02 AM Bookmark

I <3 this post

My first Thanksgiving, the food was put on the table and being my polite self I waited for everyone to sit down. My sister in law said "Don't wait...get your food now or you'll starve". Thank God she said that. She was right, it was pretty much a free for all.

Following year I cooked Christmas dinner, and I was busy cutting up the second chicken. They had loaded up their plates and were already eating when I sat down. I gave a pointed, slightly irritated "wow thanks for waiting"...ever since then, everyone waits. :)