Steve McLaren RIP

Heaven needed 4-5-1

http://www.tvcrazy.net/tvclassics/articles/stooges/images/three-stooges.jpg

L-R: Clemence, McLaren, Venables

Bungling Barwick and Steve McClown OUT !

YES

Bungling Barwick and Steve McClown OUT !

-- djmartian, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 22:05 (42 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

dancingbaby.gif

http://webzoom.freewebs.com/scottishmusichallsociety/charlie%20cairoli.jpg

"Crouch'll knock it down and Lampard and Stevie G will be there to run on and score"

http://www.abbottandcostellocollectibles.com/images/postc_accops2.jpg

COME ON BENT KEEP ON PRESSING THEM

4-5-1 could be seen as a defensive formation, however if the two midfield wingers play a more attacking role it can be likened to 4-3-3. The formation can be used to grind out 0-0 draws or preserve a lead, as the packing of the centre midfield makes it difficult for the opposition to build-up play. Because of the 'closeness' of the midfield, the opposing team's forwards will often be starved of possession. However, due to the lone striker, the centre of the midfield does have the responsibility of pushing forward as well. The defensive midfielder will often control the pace of the game.

Graham Taylor was turned into a Turnip

Steve McClaren gets turned into a Beetroot faced clown

http://talk.bmc.com/blogs/blog-bohren/jeff-bohren/keystone-cops-picture

HOLD ON GUYZ ANDORRA COULD STILL EQUALISE

^^^lolololol

lol football

hahaha @ NV

Above the feeling
This is revealing
Boy i didnt know you cared
Mustve been up on the weekend
In the club freakin
Boy i could see you stare
You were lookin right at me
Lookin right back
We knew there was something there
And i know you knew that if we did do this
It would be an affair

Cos my mans at home
Lookin at the finger his ring goes on
He got trust in me
How'm i gonna live with myself if i cheat

Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now, gotta go
Gotta get home
Cos my baby's boy's on his own
Better be Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now
I gots ta get home,
My baby boy's on his own,

Up on the dancefloor
Then ya go ask for a night in with me
But ya know that aint gon' happen
I wont get trapped in
This, see, it just aint me
And you can try, seduce me
But its no use, see
I'm in love with my baby
And I wont let you in
Mess up and move in
To do that I'd be crazy

Cos my mans at home
Lookin at the finger his ring goes on
He got trust in me
How'm I gonna live with myself if I cheat

Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb don't want none
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now, gotta go
Gotta get home
Cos my baby's boy's on his own
Better be Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb di-dumb don't want none
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now
I gots ta get home,
My baby boy's on his own,

Theres no way that im gon' play
I dont care what you gon' say
Even though you make me crazy
I wont risk losing my baby
Theres no way that im gon' play
I dont care what you gon' say
Even though you make me crazy
I wont risk losing my baby

That'd be Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb da dont want none
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta run now, gotta go
Gotta get home
Cos my baby's boy's on his own
Better be Dumb diggi-diggi-di dumb da dont want none
And 'though I know it would be fun to get some
Gotta go now
I gots ta get home,
My baby boy's on his own,

http://www.the-spine.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/retouch.jpg

Terry: Well? Shall we go?
Steve: Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

^^^lol

I think NV is currently in what he'd call his 'element'.

I grew up on silent comedy and shitty England managers, son.

I'm utterly shocked that it turned out like this. Who'd have thought a guy appointed because the premierleague wanted a dickhead (B Barwick) would have worked with the former Chairman of Altrincham and Sheffield Wednesday to appoint a guy who was third chocie because a Premier League club wanted it (S McLaren) and it all ended up a bit shit.

In his defence. Because he's rubbish there was no point trying to change the already crappy england team. He just would have made it worse. And the media would have slaughtered him if he'd dropped the superstars. He simply filled the space between Sven and whatever silly business comes next.

The Sun will be pleased. They will be going for an iconic front/back page for tomorrow.

Steve McClown as Mary Poppins under that Umbrella

theFA.com

FA - f-ing abysmal

djmartian i love you

http://www.britmovie.co.uk/actors/f/images/006a.jpg

WA-HEYYYYYY! 4-5-1 MISSUS!! PUT YOUR SHIRT ON 'EM!

Hey, at least England are officially very very very slightly better than Israel. That's something to be proud of, right?

Can we adopt "4-5-1" as the new "RONG"?

FA - f-ing abysmal

-- djmartian, Wednesday, November 21, 2007 10:20 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

i don't get it.

http://howtosplitanatom.com/images/clown.gif

Venables contemplates taking the Birmingham job.

seconded xxpost

newsflash... Steve McClown - "I will not step down" - he wants another chance...to f-ck it up AGAIN

Can we adopt "4-5-1" as the new "RONG"?

Dom 4-4-2 (OTM)

steve mcclown 4-5-1

"Why did you look so fragile?"
"I don't really know..."

http://www.corrie.net/profiles/characters/wilton_mavis5.gif

The Sun has a picture of a burst football lying in the gutter in the 1st edition(saw it on Sky news)
DJ Martian email them your headline and earn yourself a few hundred quid!

PLANK CLOWN IN CLOWN PLANKING FARRAGO

3-4-3, gangsta (what good did bridge do, anyway?)

stop making me laugh you cunts

the post that had to be brought on for swp

WAYNE BRIDGE BIRD FLU MENACE, CANNOT PLAY OFFSIDE TRAP

lol Five Live has a "bring back Sven" caller.

Is it McLaren using a funny voice?

"Hello, I'm Mr.... Nerlacm"

lol Five Live has a "bring back Sven" caller.

-- onimo, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 22:30 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^^4-4-2

I never wanted Sven to go!

BRING BACK WALTER WINTERBOTTOM

http://www.thesun.co.uk/discussions/forums/show/Football_General-202.page

Steve McClaren
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http://wanadooblog.typepad.com/photos/world_cup_orange/smiling_sven-thumb.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Steve_McClaren&action=history

and McClaren was placed on [[the Football Association]]'s shortlist alongside [[My Mate Dave]], [[Peter Kay]], [[Osama Bin Laden]] and [[A Mars Bar]].

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- '''Stephen "Fucking Shit Face Wanker" McClaren''' (born [[3 May]] [[1961]]) is a ginger cunt [[England|English]] former professional [[football (soccer)|football]]er and current manager of the [[England national football team]].

We just didn't knock it.

Daily Mirror headline
Picture of McLaren and the caption
"I'll get Me Croat"

That doesn't really work.

Someone should photoshop him into Unlucky Alf.

I'm not normally one to call for manager's to be sacked, but McLaren made such bad decisions for this game (4-5-1! Scott Carson!) I don't think his position is tenable.

On another note, even Wayne Bridge put in a better performance than the BBC commentators. Motson going on about the Andorra game, as if there were even a possibility of any other result; saying some bullshit about teams going from 2-0 to 2-1, what the fuck else are they going to do?; saying that England were 0-0 against Andorra and they won 3-0, is everyone not 0 fucking 0 at the start of every game?. Jesus, he was a good commentator a few years ago. And Mark Lawrenson, you are not being paid to not be able to say anything.

Martin O Neil 9/2
Jose Mourinho 5/1
Luis Scolari 6/1
Fabio Capello 10/1
Sam Allardyce 10/1
Guus Hiddink 12/1
Harry Redknapp 14/1
Alan Shearer 16/1
Steve Coppell 16/1
Stuart Pearce 16/1
Marcelo Lippi 20/1
Arsene Wenger 25/1
Alex Ferguson 33/1
Mark Hughes 33/1
Terry Venables 40/1
David Moyes 50/1
Peter Taylor 100/1
Glen Hoddle 100/1
Paul Ince 100/1
David Beckham 150/1

ZEE 10 POINT ACTION PLAN FOR ENGLAND

1. sack Steve McClown

2. Get rid of Barwick, replace with David Boyle

3. Bring David James back for stability ...If David James woz in goal tonight he would have known about Kranjcar

4. Bring in Matty Taylor instead of Scummer bridge

5. Bring in Glen Jonno Johnson at right back, he would have been up against Kranjcar tonite

6. Switch Micah Richards to Centre Back

7. Instal Harry Redknapp as part time manager with Jamie Redknapp as assistant and Louise as half time totty cheerleader

8. go web2.0 with rateyourenglandplayers.com - Social media and user generated content is the future

9. instal systems thinking courses, there is more than 4-4-2 or 4-5-1

10. copy Arsene Wenger's Arsenal Blueprint of quick passing football

DISCUSS !

Ha, that was my favourite bit, I think

"Mark, you say something now"
"can't"

xpost - wot no Alex McLeish?

And Mark Lawrenson, you are not being paid to not be able to say anything.

oh come on he had "Scott Carson? More like Frank Carson!" (I was gutted there wasn't an AMIRITE after it)

er, that was an xpost to onimo.

33/1 - djmartian

Alan Shearer 16-1, worst bet ever

NO ODDS FOR JOL?

That "Scott Carson? more like Frank Carson!" thing is EXACTLY the sort of "joke" my dad has been trotting out for years. I am going to mentally attach "AMIRITE?" to the end of it all the time now.

LOL JOL IN

No idea tbh that was the only book listed on Oddschecker, think it was with Victor Chandler.

the FA have called an emergency meeting at 8.30am tomorrow

Why? We haven't got a competitive game for 10 months.

To sack McLaren and get Mourinho before someone else does?

'''Stephen "Steve" McClaren''' (born [[3 May]] [[1961]]) is an [[England|English]] former professional [[football (soccer)|football]]er and the current holder of the biggest twat in england award, having succeeded robert pires.

re: Why? We haven't got a competitive game for 10 months.

You don't accept failure - Get rid of deadwood NOW ! - and rebuild

Ian McShane 18-1

Big Ron 25-1
Howard Wilkinson 8/11 fav

needed more Agbonlahor, has...plank...McClaren even been...to Erdington....this...s

best GIS for "scorched earth" is from a Hitler fansite, so maybe just imagine some scorched earth yourselves

http://www.users.bigpond.com/kceg/artimages/wasteland.jpg

dude there's Noodle Vague's favourite jpg, as posted to the Euro 2008 thread.

wow SYNCHRONICITY OR WHAT EH

It's the gif that keeps on gifing

soz 4 starting new thread while one was still active

xxxxxxpost nice def on da pic mr vague

I was looking for something a bit more sparse than that

It's a good picture though

noodle vague on sfa sympathy tip?

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/2408/geniusec5.jpg

that mong guy right re agbonlahor. he and i should be whipping them under 21s into badass shape. mejoke but meserious

sorry, not a regliar postie hereabouts but wtftonight?

I don't know why people in England bother watching football the way they moan about it so much.

Why else do you think people watch it???

YES WE SHOULD JUST QUIETLY ACQUIESCE TO OUR SUPERIORS EH?

Did anyone else think there was kind of an awkward moment in the studio when they were going over the second goal - Shaun Wright Phillips clearly substantially to blame, but Ian Wright being there the others weren't quite sure what to say.

Kind of like X Factor if Jack Osbourne auditioned.

There's that old comic book strip Peter Bagge and Alan Moore did about the life of the Kool Aid Man, and the punchline is that he can't stop smiling even when he's suicidal and really upset. That's what McLaren interviews remind me of.

https://www.omlet.co.uk/images/nags_beetroot.gif

Holy Shit I thought that was some Cthulhu-esque horror for a minute there

i wonder if he still wants to distance himself from the eriksson regime. it might actually beneficial to him now to have been part of it.

Why? Is there a coaching job going at Man City?

well not beneficial exactly, but he may want to remind people that he played a small part in a regime slightly (significantly?) less retarded than his own.

i mean: he was aware enough of the failings of the eriksson regime to want to distance himself from it, yet feels he his equipped to continue in the role, despite a significant drop in results.

Summation of my feelings on the whole matter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jbya4kxC6E

This thread is gold.

http://www.siyumhaseinfeld.com/images/chars/bania.jpg

Sven had a great record as England manager - I don't know what he thought he was doing when he picked the World Cup squad with no fit strikers though.

Although to give him credit, he was about the only person in the country who would have played Owen Hargreaves and he went on to have a fantastic World Cup.

442

Sven had a great record as England manager - I don't know what he thought he was doing when he picked the World Cup squad with no fit strikers though.

Although to give him credit, he was about the only person in the country who would have played Owen Hargreaves and he went on to have a fantastic World Cup.

-- AlanSmithee,

england had no strikers, fit or not. it was the rest of the squad that let him and england down.

I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's McLaren?

the FA have called an emergency meeting at 8.30am tomorrow

This is the emergency meeting that was reported in the papers last week, then. You gotta hand it to these FA boys.

http://www.durham21.co.uk/images/2004-2005/epiphany/3571/_41736940_gordon_brown270.jpg

STEVE MCCLAREN SEAL OF APPROVAL.

Better potential England managers:

* Andy McLaren
* Anne McLaren
* Bill McLaren
* Brandon Jay McLaren
* Brian McLaren
* Bruce McLaren
* Charles McLaren, 1st Baron Aberconway
* Charles McLaren, 3rd Baron Aberconway
* Digby McLaren
* Duncan McLaren
* Dylan McLaren
* Eric McLaren
* Francis McLaren
* Henry McLaren, 2nd Baron Aberconway
* Henry McLaren, 4th Baron Aberconway
* Jim McLaren
* John McLaren
* John McLaren (baseball)
* John McLaren (cricketer)
* John Francis McLaren
* John Inglis McLaren
* Kenneth McLaren
* Kyle McLaren
* Laura McLaren, Baroness Aberconway
* Leah McLaren
* Malcolm McLaren
* Martin McLaren
* Norman McLaren
* Peter McLaren
* Lady Rose McLaren
* Scott McLaren
* Steve McLaren, a hockey player
* Stuart McLaren
* Wayne McLaren
* William McLaren

* DJ Martin McClaren
* Louis Jagger McClaren
* Sven Goran McClaren
* My Mum McClaren
* Terry Venables

xpost
Good old McLaren taking the heat off Darling and Brown.

Martin Jol for England manager!

Hmm... I think I'd rather keep Steve than see Malcolm McLaren get the England job. Other than that, a fair list.

xxxpost

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/71074277.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19390335F8FA9CA92A6B12B6C2B23BEAE598BC3F87336C851A1

I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

God needed a manager for Birmingham

I'm pretty sure God bailed out on Birmingham some time back.

God needed a manager for Birmingham Ebsfleet

Y'know, I'm not sure we're giving this post the attention it deserves. Magnificent.

ZEE 10 POINT ACTION PLAN FOR ENGLAND

1. sack Steve McClown

2. Get rid of Barwick, replace with David Boyle

3. Bring David James back for stability ...If David James woz in goal tonight he would have known about Kranjcar

4. Bring in Matty Taylor instead of Scummer bridge

5. Bring in Glen Jonno Johnson at right back, he would have been up against Kranjcar tonite

6. Switch Micah Richards to Centre Back

7. Instal Harry Redknapp as part time manager with Jamie Redknapp as assistant and Louise as half time totty cheerleader

8. go web2.0 with rateyourenglandplayers.com - Social media and user generated content is the future

9. instal systems thinking courses, there is more than 4-4-2 or 4-5-1

10. copy Arsene Wenger's Arsenal Blueprint of quick passing football

DISCUSS !

-- djmartian, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 22:44 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

My mind blew at point 8 and I was all like -3D6 against zings.

EVERY SINGLE ONE A GEM except #6 which is actually sensible and maybe #10 which is only funny because it turns up so late.

8. go web2.0 with rateyourenglandplayers.com - Social media and user generated content is the future

England to start with strike force of Darren Bent and Surfjan Stevens

I've already expressed my djmartian love. There is no more to add.

Group:
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Network:
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Type:
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New:
1,487 More Members, 9 Board Topics, 415 Wall Posts, 1 Video

Back five = Bloc Party + drumming gorilla from the Cadbury's Dairy Milk ad in goal.

xxxpost

Hey, Surfjan was starting Quartermaster for his college team, the Detroit Carjackers, for 3 consecutive pipecocks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/1xtra/tx/weekinpictures/media/pa_minnie_fa_405.jpg

Brian Barwick begins interview process for next England boss

i think djmartian is playing to the gallery now : (

Hey, Surfjan was starting Quartermaster for his college team, the Detroit Carjackers, for 3 consecutive pipecocks.

-- Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 23:54 (34 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Dude's only averaging 0.02 clownplanks a trimester, give over. No wonder he was drafted blue.

New favourite for the England job is the drummer for Gay Dad.

england will regret not rooling a tournament with crouchinho.
xxp

peter taylor

peter taylor 451, and not the sort that converts to 433 either.

Y'know, it is kind of hilarious that EVEN NOW with Portsmouth higher in the table than Middlesbrough have ever been, no one is bothering to tip Harry Redknapp for the England role.

xxxxpost

Yeah, but he gribbled all those clownplanks coming off the sofa. That's still a sweet record if you factor in the strained metacarpal who sustained against the Salt Lake Quakers.

redknapp & england arrrggggggghghg??!!

who=he, sorry. That nearly didn't make sense.

would SAGE Redknapp accept FA bouquet? survey NEGATIVE. results breed confidence, pompey uefa cup CHALLENGERS, what are England playing for?

You know Mourinho will be offered the job.

(Noodle Vague loses points WAY upthread for not making Oliver Hardy into Frank Lampard).

NV i not computing what said d

Fuck it, give the job to Alan Shearer. Germany and Holland had some success with untried managers, and there's no other fucking options available.

At least they'll commit some fouls.

http://cache.gettyimages.com/xc/78046290.jpg?v=1&c=NewsMaker&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193AC1AEE55EEB657A519CAB4387044117CA55A1E4F32AD3138

mourinho will shove job up barwick's ass

xp dom bollx

I think you're forgetting Big Ron is available.

re: 7. Instal Harry Redknapp as part time manager with Jamie Redknapp as assistant and Louise as half time totty cheerleader

louise redknapp can organize the WAGS, bring in a NO WIN = NO SEX policy for qualifying matches for the next World Cup

"you need to attack this game like it's Neil Lennon's face"

"Do you think those McDonalds endorsements are going to still be there if you don't win this one?"

4-1-4-1-5-1-6

Bridge became a father in November 2006 with French girlfriend, model and actress, Vanessa Perroncel, who gave birth to their son Jaydon Jean Claude Bridge, and celebrated by signing a new 4-year contract with Chelsea on November 22, 2006.[14] Bridge regards "Horrid Henry and the Football Fiend" by Francesca Simon as his favourite book,[15] and Das EFX as his favourite band.

bridge at MASSIVE fault for 2nd goal

bridge nearly scores BEST OG IN ENGLAND HISTORY and this is the thanks he gets?

Bridge was the worst player out there, in a heavily packed field

yep, McDonalds have lined by Steve McClown for Ronald McDonald role play in June 2008 to do in-store promotions across England.

Steve wants to stay on...so England and McDonalds need to get their money's worth.

Why does McLaren say he's not resigning? Is it for financial reasons or does he somehow think this is more honourable stance?

bridge scores for opposition, picks up big checkkkkkk, goes home fux wife, game over

If he resigns he wont get the full pay-off? After the abuse he's had since he took the job i'm not surprised he wants all the cash.
x-post

Massive payoff if he gets sacked.

http://www2.talksport.net/

TALKSPORT PHONE-IN EXTENDED TIL 1:30AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scott Carson has apparently "only just come into the premiership"

McLaren should have taken Bridge off and played Barry at left-back.

Carson had a spread bet on first goal for Croatia.

Wasn't Sven still getting bucketloads of cash every week until he took the City job?

it's ok i only let the first goal in........

4-1-4-1-5-1-6

'Appy Arry's Swiss Bank Account?

Mike Parry is for some reason talking about Stonewall Jackson on Talksport

I'm listening. Who'd've thought there were people in the country who knew less about football than McClaren?

Avoiding all this 'negative-town' nonsense, I thought Cole sparkled brightly, Beckham (when he came on) defended well and looked as likely to create goals as ever, and Crouch worked hard all night and did well to convert Beckham's cross.

With Martin O'Neill at the helm, we will go on to win the next World Cup.

Bilic added: "Wake up. You didn't lose the game because of the tactics.

"We're simply a better team. I admire your team and your players but my team is a much better team."

Bilic is kind of great

xp, 451, GTFO, I will kill you

Bilic is a cock, Laurent Blanc should be allowed to consummate his act of GBH upon him at some unspecified point in the near future.

Bilic is cool. He didn't look very unmotivated, did he?

"WE ACT IN FOOTBALL LIKE AMERICA ACTS IN POLITICS"

AWESOME

Bryan Robson for next England manager?

TRUE

xpost, obviously. Though actually, it would be kind of funny to see Robbo in the job.

Boyle, you need to be listening to TalkSport right now, it's lolz-a-plenty

Dude complaining about the Premiership: how many of the Croatian team play in Croatia, dick?

Talkshite - I'd rather shit blood through my eyes.

As for furruners, how many ingerland players play abroad and learn different styles, different approaches? None. Croatia's players come from Oz, Germany and Croatia, and play across Europe. They're diverse. England's players are culutrally monocultural as hell, and it's a bobbins monoculture at that.

"THE FA IS RUN BY A STRANGE MASONIC LODGE"

AWESOMEx2

At least I haven't had to listen to Alan Green talking shite tonight.

Bold decision = decision that guy agrees with

McClaren axed after Euro exit

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article492787.ece

On 22 May 2007 it was announced at a press conference that Bryan Robson and Brian Kidd would be the new management team at Sheffield United.[47] His first match in charge was a home match against Colchester United on 11 August in a 2-2 draw.[48] His first win was three days later in a 3-1 win against Chesterfield in the Carling Cup.[49] United subsequently collected nine points in their first 10 league matches, leaving the Blades in 20th place in the Championship and, it prompted Robson to comment about the situation.[50]

Take him, please.

DUURR:

Sky sources understand that England manager Steve McClaren has been sacked after England's failure to qualify for the Euro 2008 competition.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,70131-1293866,00.html

http://www.plu.edu/~arnoldwp/img/sacrificial-stone.gif

You know when you have a dying grandparent, and you know that if you're phoning up your dad to ask how she is, that must mean they're still alive as he'd have called you otherwise? That's Steve McLaren, that is.

As for furruners, how many ingerland players play abroad and learn different styles, different approaches? None. Croatia's players come from Oz, Germany and Croatia, and play across Europe. They're diverse. England's players are culutrally monocultural as hell, and it's a bobbins monoculture at that.

Don't most of that team play in Croatia though?

Only one regular in the Croatian national team (Luka Modric) actually plays in Croatia.

"We're not going to be knocked out by stars of our very own Premier League are we?"

Yes Motty, you are.

and he's gone

Ta ta SCS.

Birmingham fans be bricking it.

Bruce didn't turn up at Wigan yesterday, did he? Was he hedging bets for the national job?

Are people refusing to spell McClaren's name right on purpose? Such is their contempt for the unfortunate fellow?

McCunt.

"We're not going to be knocked out by stars of our very own Premier League are we?"

Who? Nico Krancjar?

and Eduardo and Corluka

Yes those three Premiership players put England out of Euro 2008

Yes, they did, as did their team mates.

i guess he'll just go back to motor racing with his old friend John Player.

"We're not going to be knocked out by stars of our very own Premier League are we?"

Scott Carson?

McClaren leaves his post as statistically the worst England manager of all time, having lost five of his 18 matches in charge. Yet, with more than two years left of his contract, he will be entitled to £2.5m in compensation.

From the Guardian Unlimited piece about his sacking. Worst. England. Manager. Ever.

I'm desperately trying to think of a worse coach of a major international football team in living memory. Cesare Maldini? Erich Ribbeck?

Yes, they did, as did their team mates.

Despite team mates being obv. not good enough to play in Premiership

Is he more incompetent than the bloke who lost those computer discs?

Alastair Darling for England job

POLL !

(xp)

They come over here, steal our newspapers, humiliate our football team...

.. play in the premiership...

The front page of the Sun was so despondent, like they couldn't even be bothered to castigate or mock him.

mcclaren's problem was that his ENGLAND tactics didn't include enough MADDIE coverage, and selcting CARSON ahead of THE PEOPLE'S PRINCESS was never going to get the FANS on his side.

available jobs for mediocre managers- birmingham, ireland, england.

available (relaistic) pool of talent- houllier, souness, jewell, mcclaren, venables.

Strachan for birmingham, ireland, england

I was just about to say there was one English manager who still had a chance of managing a team at Euro 2008 but, having checked last night's results, seems he's out too

No chance, the wee man's half a season from being a legendary 3-in-a-row winner.

McLeish for Brum might be a goer.

xpost

I'm desperately trying to think of a worse coach of a major international football team in living memory.

Tommy Burns answers Dom:

http://images.scotsman.com/2004/11/02/0211dontb.jpg

Not sure if Scotland have counted as a major international football team for a long time

Be fair, I said "living memory", and there are some people still alive from the 1890s

Hey there, 1900s at least

And the last time England could credibly have been called a major international football team was...?

Oh sorry, I see you answered the question before I asked it.

And the last time England could credibly have been called a major international football team was...?

^^^this is a good question. 1990?

Maybe '96 tbh. Reaching semis makes you a major team.

mcclaren is a rolemodel for anybody who has ambition. apply for the top job, you might well get it through luck, and then you can even be shit at it and then end up set for life with £2.5million.

you can't write fairy tales more exhilarating than this!

"That's a pretty lousy message"
"Hey, I'm a pretty lousy manager"

Depends you mean by major surely. Holland's recent record aint' too clever - are they a major international football team?

And the last time England could credibly have been called a major international football team was...?

They still are a major international team, but not as much as Portugal, Croatia, teams like that

Really though, I guess it's too much to hope for that the FA might have the nuts to stop this sacking-compensation nonsense next time round and just say 'here is a plum job which we will continue to pay you a handsome wage for doing and if you don't like it, don't take it'?

You see this watch? You see this watch? That watch costs more than your car. I made 970,000 quid last year, how much ...

xpost this is analagous with the Spurs / big clubs thing again kinda isn't it

No. Tottenham are not a big club and that's all there is to it.

^^^4-4-2

I love Bilic's comments, that chain-smoking ear-pierced maverick mastermind roxors.

In order of pref:
1. Mourinho
2. Capello
3. O'Neill
4. someone else really good not though of yet
5. Sanchez *tumbleweeds*

All immaterial without big France1995-esque shake-up and learn to generate Henrys and Drogbas...Italy manage to juggle international success with a rich high-profile domestic league (never mind the dire straits it's in otherwise) - must emulate that. Must emulate the Germans if possible altho it seems they just never fail because they've never failed...but their recovery from terrible performances in the last two Euros suggests there's more to it than that. These countries all share cultural pros and cons with England and it's football to the extent that their virtues can surely be adopted here to an extent that England can do as those three have done.

As was already alluded, forget 'pride' and 'passion' spend more time and money on 'skill' and 'intelligence'.

And the last time England could credibly have been called a major international football team was...?

getting to three quarter finals (however it happened) in a row makes you this imo

FABIO CAPELLO SEZ:

"Me to coach England? It would be a challenge, a beautiful test to overcome and I would have the right age."

"Me to coach England? That's unpossible"

No. Tottenham are not a big club and that's all there is to it.

Sorry, I meant the broad discussion of 'big clubs' across that thread which prolly wasn't clear

Bilic = mugger who after kneeing you in the balls and taking your wallet picks you up, tells you it wasn't really your fault and that you could definitely walk down this dark alley again tomorrow because he won't be there.

No. Tottenham are not a big club and that's all there is to it.

but england last night were banking their hopes on two strikers who weren't good enough to play for tottenham!!

Berbatov and Keane not eligible for England

Can't imagine another country where some of the native wfootball fans are glad when the national team doesn't qualify. There's your problem in a nutshell (it encapsulates the huge priority chasm here).

not shit enough

xpost

Can't imagine another country where some of the native wfootball fans are glad when the national team doesn't qualify. There's your problem in a nutshell (it encapsulates the huge priority chasm here).

don't think that's the problem but it's the symptom of the problem

the problem is MCLARENG NEEDED TO GO

question 3: would england have qualified under sven?

speculation is pointless but probably

Yes

Maybe. Same shit players however.

would have saved several million quid's worth of compensation though. could have used it to build a new youth academy

oh man i bet he'll have a book written as well and make further £££££

"why i'm shit"

cheap shot i know

http://onemansblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/OJSimpsonIfIDidIt.jpg

question 3: would england have qualified under sven?

Probably would have qualified in second place with some uninspiring performances and a minor scare along the way, then been drawn into a very weak group at the Euro finals yet still made hard work to get out of that group eventually qualifying with p1 w1 d2 l0 f1 a0, then met Portugal in the next round, scored an early goal and tried to defend it for 85 minutes before conceding twice before the end and being dumped out.

http://aycu21.webshots.com/image/36540/2001006496068579038_rs.jpg

excellent.

nice

travisty

There's always the MLS.

If Sanchez is ever England manager I think I will start supporting someone else.

McLaren was the wrong man from the start, why they didn't pick O'Neill when they could I don't know. Actually, I can guess it is because they are stuck-up FA know-it-alls who didn't like his attitude, and didn't care about his record of success.

http://image.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2007/11/22/mclaren_300x180.jpg

I thought you might struggle after Take That

RIP Scotland

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/liverpool/7108721.stm

It's good that he clarified that he was series, whereas many of the apparently respectable outlets reporting Capello's interest are neglecting to mention that after the quotes in question he immediately laughed hysterically for upwards of four minutes.

I imagine much of the actual speaking beforehand was punctuated with a sort of intermittent, uncontrollable guffawing

like when Charlie Brooker laughs at one of his own jokes before he's finished it and kind of brays with self-satisfaction

Actually, after Capello said that two popular Italian TV comedians walked in dressed as Margaret Thatcher and Winston Churchill, and Capello hit them in the faces with custard pies.

McClaren's legacy will live on:

England will not be among the top seeds in the 2010 World Cup qualifying draw after their failure to reach Euro 2008.

The defeat against Croatia has seen them drop to 12th place - and they have now been leap-frogged by Greece.

This means they are not in the top nine European countries in the draw when it is made in Durban on Sunday.

They are now in the group of second seeds and could possibly face Italy, France or Germany in a potentially hazardous qualifying group.

Thanks, Steve.

I love how the papers are so up in arms about his big payoff.

1) Like how no newspaper proprieters get massive payoffs when they get sacked, ever.
2) and, mainly, Football is awash with money floating round in secret deals, bungs, and sweeteners, right? This means that peopple get paid while they stand on boxes and proclaim that all they are interested in is the fans, their concerns, and treating them with respect. So Steve Mc has the sort of option of saying "no no I was poor, the results speak for themselves, I tried my best but it was not good enough, you keep the money, I'll retire to a semi in Eastbourne, be nice when you see me around, OK, Goodnight Vienna". Or saying "I'm not resigning" and getting sacked/paid off. Which gets the pensioners riled as it's as naked a request for money as you will get.

Mark, I love you like a really distant uncle I never see, but I think maybe football threads aren't the place for you to post.

And now they talk about

1) Reviewing the whole process of how the National team is regarded as an adjunct at best for career footballers who are looking to the EuroChampionship league for their 'real' footballing, at worst a nuisance which might cause them injury and put them out of action for the real footballing (as before)

2) Enticing Jose Mourino with a big pay packet as before.

Heck, if you are/were a football manager and had a thick skin, the England manager role must be the easiest thing. Pick a team, train when you can get them, ring Dom up for a formation, win/lose, keep going for a couple of years, drive the team into a ditch and get a payoff.

I'd do it myself, but I care what you all think of me!

xpost you are probably right. I'll shut up now.

Italy, France or Germany

Now now, that's not as bad as facing Italy and France...

So if Scotland had beaten Italy on Saturday/Georgia a few weeks ago, not only would we have been going to Euro 2008, but we'd have overtaken England in the world rankings instead of dropping down to 14th - God, never thought I'd be saying THAT two years ago.

The ELO football ratings still has Scotland as far down as #33. One place behind Ireland!

If they phoned Dom up he'd rep for the Jagger 2-1-4-3 pentagram formation with Titus Bramble, Jon Stead and Darius Vassell as the three rotating strikemasters

Jagger's formation is pretty simple, it starts off as a basic Christmas tree except instead of an out-and-out striker and a left back you sacrifice both for two men playing behind a striker, who isn't actually there. This gives more space upfront for the central midfield to run into. If you go more than (minutes of game left)/20 goals down, you just get the rightback to cross over into the left midfield position, so you have covered force on the left that you've sacrificed for your support men, and you get the goalie to act as a kind of erstatz centrocampista, except only within his box.

So who's operating the cappucino machine?

In fact, a year ago, I was saying this over on the Scottish football thread:

This has resulted in a slide down the world ranking as a result of not qualifying for any tournaments and by sliding down the rankings we fall down into lower-ranked seeding pots for qualifiers and then we get more good teams in our groups which means we get beaten more, don't qualify, fall further down the rankings, etc etc, vicious circle, blah blah.
I'm not sure how this is going to get better in this hellish qualifying group

xpost to myself

Grout, you're not paying attention, the formation is the capuccino machine

and Beckham is the choc sprinkles, applied right at the end.

I get it now.

They are now in the group of second seeds and could possibly face Italy, France or Germany in a potentially hazardous qualifying group.

About fucking time

"ersatz centrocampista" pretty summarises the state of the English game at the moment, tbh

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4W-tX_Bjbo0

Capello 7/2
O'Neill 4/1
Mourinho 15/2
Redknapp 14/1
Shearer 16/1
Scolari 20/1
Lippi 20/1
Hiddink 25/1
Coppell 25/1
Peace 25/1
Klinsmann 33/1
Pardew 40/1
Morten Olsen 50/1
Hughes 50/1
Ancelotti 50/1

Morten Olsen = the guy from A-Ha?

Rafa for England would be a pretty good call I think, he's got a good track record of making average players play about themselves and knows how to win knock-out tournaments.

The downside is that his teams take about six games to get going at the start of every campaign which is kind of disastrous in international football.

Also, hopefully Rafa would bring the glamorous, sexy, high-scoring brand of football that's made Liverpool so popular amongst neutrals to the England team.

Can we have a sarcasm indicator? I'm losing it here. Something like an (S) would be nice.

Also, hopefully Rafa would bring the glamorous, sexy, high-scoring brand of football that's made Liverpool so popular amongst neutrals to the England team.

You certainly won't be getting anything glamorous, sexy or high-scoring from O'Neill or Mourinho.

They're both good looking guys, O'Neill could do with more hair though.

That's what managing Bobby Petta does to a man.

About time Steve Guppy added to that one England cap

<i>Peace 25/1 </i>

I am frankly amazed that Didcot Town manager Stuart Peace is in the running.

Hey Dave B (The Boyler), I emailed you via this thread, just in case you don't check your ILX connected email account!

The ELO football ratings still has Scotland as far down as #33. One place behind Ireland!

Jeff Lyne in anti-Scotland shockah

Don't Bring Me Down, Jeff

Don't Bring Me Down, Brian.

(Damn, his name wasn't Bruce Barwick, what the hell, used it anyway)

The FA should either

a) Run a Football Manager 2008 competition for the job; or

b) Hand over team selection and tactics to a bunch of Internet nerds with 50 quid each to burn

b) Hand over team selection and tactics to a bunch of Internet nerds with 50 quid each to burn

ILX?

I'm so happy it's Friday and payday I just skipped right into that one.

ILXors who should manage England as a committee:

Pipecock
Nude Spock
Ian Riese Morraine
Kate the Saint
ithappens

I wd bet cash money that they would achieve more than MacLaren.

they should make the England job the prize for winning fantasy premier league this year

Kate the Saint

oh that'd work! she'd abolish the team completely and make the players form bands instead.

They should give the job away with a DVD covermount of Trevor Brooking's Tactics for Dummies in the Mail on Sunday.

Apt as England appeared to be fielding a back four consisting of showroom dummies on Wednesday

I will still defend Joleon.

oh that'd work! she'd abolish the team completely and make the players form bands instead.

-- Grandpont Genie, Friday, 23 November 2007 11:49 (4 minutes ago) Link

One of the players would claim that two of his team mates had died in the Munich Air Crash, he'd put on a testimonial match for them...

^
^^
^^^
^^^^
^

Ian R-M would be castigated for his dogged persistence in putting his mum in goal.

I will still defend Joleon.

That's apparently more than he can manage, fangyewfolksyouvebeenawunnerfulaudience

Penis Error Sank Sorry England

instead of singing 'Mila kuda si planina' ('You know my dear how we love your mountains'), he instead sang 'Mila kura si planina', which translates as 'My dear, my penis is a mountain'.

There's a great picture of a Croatian mascot smirking at that.

I wondered why those kids were grinning. I assumed they were English kids in Croatia tops and they'd found Lampard's sweet stash before the game.

I read "sweet stash" in a Cheech & Chong sorta voice there before I saw "Lampard"

OH NO O'NEILL DOESN'T WANT THE ENGLAND JOB THIS IS TERRIBLE

Our royal family on hearing the news:

http://www.englishmonarchs.co.uk/images/windsor/princes_fune.jpg

"DOES ANYBODY WANT THE ENGLAND JOB?" IS THE 2000s FOOTBALLING EQUIVALENT OF "DID ANYBODY EVER SEE THAT MOVIE TRON?" AND HARRY REDKNAPP IS PROBABLY CHIEF WIGGUM

HARRY REDKNAPP HAS SEEN TRON

Mourinho doesn't want it either. Don't think Capello will get it. Put a coupla nicker dahn on 'Awwy, alwight?

DEFAULT: TWO SWEETEST WORDS IN VEH FACKIN ENGLISH LANGUAGE

As in "it was all de fault of that Steve McClaren"?

I was gonna say what with 'Awwy being a little bit waaaaaaaaayy and a little bit woooooooooh, the FA might be wary of giving him the job but I forgot the gave Venables the job once

If, within six months of 'arry becoming England boss, there's not at least four guys from Sierra Leone who've suddenly discovered an English grandmother in the squad, I'll be shocked.

Redknapp won't talk to the Beeb, can you have an England manager who refuses to talk to the BBC? Or will Joe Jordan be still doing it for him?

I IMAGINE HIS LEGAL PROCEEDINGS AGAINST THE BBC MUST BE NEARLY AT A CLOSE BY NOW SO ONCE HIS NAME HAS BEEN CONCLUSIVELY CLEARED MAYBE HE'LL LET BYGONES BE BYGONES

'Arry becomes manager w/ Jordan as his assistant, who does the talking. Paul Jewell goes to Portsmouth. Sorted.

MORE ODDZ

Capello 7/2
Mourinho 6/1
Redknapp 12/1
O'Neill 14/1
Shearer 16/1
Benitez 20/1
Scolari 20/1
Klinsmann 25/1
Coppell 25/1

'Arry becomes manager w/ Jordan as his assistant

Jinky will be spinning in his grave!

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41433000/jpg/_41433490_joejord_jj_74empics300.jpg

Joe Jordan being touted as candidate for next Scotland manager by the jizzwads at Radio Clyde when Eck does the obvious thing and bugger off to be manager of Birmingham.

(lol at England fans trying not to sing "One World Cup and two World Wars" if Klinsmann gets the gig)

Lots of candidates for the Scotland job. Burley about to get sacked. Billy Davies about to get sacked.

Dream team = Peter Grant and Tommy Burns!

John Barnes and Josef Venglos

Wait, is Josef Venglos dead I forget?

Nothing wrong with Doctor Jo

... professionally I mean, don't know about medically

HE IS ALIVE

HIS NAME IS ALIVE

http://www.discogs.com/release/60686

If, within six months of 'arry becoming England boss, there's not at least four guys from Sierra Leone who've suddenly discovered an English grandmother in the squad, I'll be shocked.

If there's an English grandmother in the squad, I reckon the papers will get there before some dudes from Sierra Leone.

I'm sure it would be good for Rooney's temperament.

^^^4-4-2

Can we start whipping out the classic 'Arry quotes now or should we hold fire until he gets the job?

There's never a bad time to see this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRZTna7tRHk

If there's an English grandmother in the squad, I reckon the papers will get there before some dudes from Sierra Leone.

Post of the week.

no wonder he's in the fucking reserves

CRAIG JOHNSTON COMPLETELY 442

That is absolutely fucking fantastic.

Srsly, this needs to be seen by everyone who supports English football.

Yeah, it's pretty fucking dead-on

It's brilliant rhetoric above anything else, a swelling Bolero of anger. Get this man on the FA Committee.

Relying on Scottish Australians to save your game now? Bloody foreigners

"THE NATIONAL SELF-ESTEEM IS TOO IMPORTANT TO BE PUT IN THE HANDS OF THESE IDIOTS WHO HAVE DESTROYED YOUR NATIONAL GAME"

Astonishing. And OTM.

Brilliant stuff. At last someone lays the blame where it needs to be - the fucking PL Boardroom...

i thought he was putting the blame on lazy kids??

I'm blaming Frank Lampard.

Same thing.

comment by surreydodger
posted 1 Hour Ago

I'm not homophobic but how come FIFA allow foreign managers as part of the team yet insist players have to have parentage of their home country.
Yet another farcical way in which football is run. The last thing I want to see is Lippi or Mourihno, etc., guiding our national team to glory. Give us ein Englander!

er, ein englander is german

10/10.

I'm not xenophobic but Capello is a complete woofter.

It's a good point though - why shouldn't the manager of the national team have to qualify to represent that country? He's actively contributing (hopefully) to success on the field.

also: apparently mike riley is going to be one of the euro 2008 referees, shouldn't referees have to go through qualifying? and subsequently mike riley can be sacked for failing to qualify

xpost

For starters, because "smaller" nations rely on foreign coaches to improve their game?

Also the manager, unlike the players, is a salaried employee of that country's FA and it's kind of illegal to discriminate on the basis of nationality in many cases.

Plus there are many other people outside the squad and the manager's office who contribute to on-the-pitch success, and to make that rule would technically require every coach, trainer and physio to be English as well.

And that's the way surreydodger likes it.

No homo.

there goes half the england squad

Where's that from, Dom?

BBC 606 forums

http://img.skysports.com/07/08/402x210/vangaal_550670.jpg

what the hell is that

Isn't that the alien-disguised-as-a-hick from Men In Black?

comment by stupot02
posted 9 Minutes Ago

Platini wants to mind his own godamn business.
This idiotic French twerp knows next to nothing about our game, plus he hates the English. The moron wants to stick to been a clown on the European stage, and keep his nose out of BRITISH football, not just ours.

Y'know, it is kind of hilarious that EVEN NOW with Portsmouth higher in the table than Middlesbrough have ever been, no one is bothering to tip Harry Redknapp for the England role.

-- Matt DC, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 23:59 (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

lol famous last words

Megson for England

Top 5 managers large sections of the press actually campaigned for as England boss at one point in the last 20 years:

5. Peter Taylor.
4. Mike Walker.

Jokes, bruv, jokes.

Bold prediction: Dom Passantino "rediscovers" Italian heritage in time for Euro 2008 finals.

Eh?

So where's Houllier?

whoullier?

Y'know, it is kind of hilarious that EVEN NOW with Portsmouth higher in the table than Middlesbrough have ever been, no one is bothering to tip Harry Redknapp for the England role.

-- Matt DC, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 23:59 (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

lol famous last words (x2)

didn't stop Venables (altho technically it did)

More laffs

well there goes the whole point of firing mcclaren, i wonder if he'll come back

Apparently he's been "guaranteed" a major club job next summer. Inter or Barca?

Spurs

Capello 2/1
Lippi 13/2
O'Neill 7/1
Klinsmann 14/1
Mourinho 20/1
Coppell 25/1
Scolari 25/1
Hiddink 33/1
Redknapp 33/1
Shearer 40/1
Van Gaal 40/1
Gullit 50/1
Ancellotti 50/1
Curbishley 50/1
Houllier 50/1

Still no Jol?

There's only room for one Jol in England anymore. -eon Lescott.

JUST KIDDING! I meant Cock Jol.

O'Neill will probably get offered the job now, I can't see England appointing someone who can't speak english until they're left with no choice as everyone knocks it back.

They should do an Ebbsfleet United.

Curbishley 50/1

^^^these odds seem ridiculously high

Shearer is 99/1 at Betfair, which seems worth a fiver to me.

I'm assuming Villa v Portsmouth at the weekend was a disguised job interview.

Kieran Fallon 40,000-1

Curbishley 50/1

^^^these odds seem ridiculously high

Worth a bob or two

I met Graham Taylor yesterday.

He was very nice.

I thought he was a terrible England manager, but I quite like him. He went up in my estimation after that documentary and he's alright as a pundit/co-commentator on the radio.

one of these days i'll stop clicking on this thread thinking i'm going to read something about that missing pilot.

my money's on o'neill anyway.

My money's on Capello - the FA always go for the exact opposite of the previous manager and I just don't think O'Neill is heavyweight enough for them.

Curbishley has ruled himself out hasn't he? Odd seeing as he's the only English manager whose stock has risen over the past year (Redknapp hardly counts).

Why would O'Neill even consider doing it? Would you work for people who preferred Steve McClaren to you??!???! Mind you, I've never thought O'Neill was interested in managing England. Capello seems best bet - right age and experience plus it'll be a nice little earner for his retirement years and he won't have anything very much to do for a year or so.

The papers are convinced it's definitely going to be Capello with Shearer and Pearce as his "English faces"

This has disaster written all over it

On a more interesting note, Bruce Arena wants the Scotland job.

Apparently

Hasn't Capello won titles with every club he's managed (if you count Juve cheating?)

You can get 14/1 on England winning the 2010 World Cup.

I think Arena will really help leverage Scot-land's chances of accessing the 2010 Soccerbowl

xpost 14/1 more like 140/1 lol England mug punters

yeah 14/1 is really shit, who would bet on that?

I'm glad Mourinho passed it up now. I mean did his Chelsea ever win a penalty shootout?

People clamouring for Jurgen seem to forget he'd be presumably staying in Cali for the duration. Intolerable for the media.

He never got the best out of Shaun Wright-Phillips either - he will surely be a vital cog in the England machine come the 2010 World Cup (xP

Wasn't Klinsmann just the PR guy? The other guy was the football brains of the operation?

Apart from at the start of this season when SWP was playing really well and promptly got dropped as soon as Mourinho left. (xpost)

I'm glad Mourinho passed it up now. I mean did his Chelsea ever win a penalty shootout?

lol charlton :D

"Mind you, I've never thought O'Neill was interested in managing England"

so, what, last time round he was just bluffing, playing mind games?
he did seem to geninely desire it.

yeah he commented that he would've taken it if asked first.

Capello and Coppell ftw

i'd be like those two swedish managers Lars Assbacker and Lager Lagerfeld

racist

yeah, but O'Neill was out of a job at the time, and the International stage would have suited him, with his wife being ill. At this stage he's probably enjoying being back to full time management.

yeah, but O'Neill was out of a job at the time, and the International stage would have suited him, with his wife being ill.

That and the 4 million quid a year salary

yeah, he was out of a job, as i said.

http://football.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,2225225,00.html

Heh

He is mates with blah blah blah.. and MK Dons' Kevin Gallen

That is awesomeness.

Nice Copello feature on Channel 4 news just now.
Voiceover: Is Capellll-lo the right man for England?
Brian Glanville: I've known Faaa-bio for 35 years ... Alex del Pi-ayy-ro was glad to see the back of him
Jon Snow: Man Utd playing AS Rrr-oma

Is Glanville a posho? I read some of his fiction as a nipper and imagined him with a hard industrial upbringing, but he sounded more like Anthony Eden trying to impress girls.

I read Glanville as a kid and tho I don't remember a word I had the idea that he was a bit posh.

sooo. Capello wins. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/internationals/7137847.stm

This should be interesting

Somehow I don't think the players will be running the team any more

TS: Eriksson's Lazio vs Capello's late 90s Milan

Was Capello ever offered the Italy job? I'm a bit worried he could turn out to handle a national side the same way Trappatoni did but he seems better than that.

He'll have learnt English by the time England have to actually play a game that means anything, it'll be fine.

great appointment, shouldn't have been such a difficult decision though.

Capello has only a limited grasp of the English language but Eriksson added: "That won't be a problem. It certainly wasn't for me as I spoke to him in Italian!"

oooh who's a clever sod then

That's exactly what Brian Glanville said

When are the papers going to notice he looks a lot like Harry Enfield's "Only me!" character?

http://www.elpais.com/recorte/20070608elpepudep_14/LCO340/Ies/Fabio_Capello_rueda_prensa.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/15/CharlieChuck2002.jpg

The FA are believed to be concerned that the role could overlap with Sir Trevor Brooking's responsibilities, who is director of football.

http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff209/Hardyboyfan1/thRonSimmons1.jpg

I saw Brian Glanville, but I didn't know who he was.

For the record, I think Fabio Capello is a total dickhead.

the right credentials indeed

I'd be pleased if I was an England fan

Glanville is very posh. England getting an Italian manager is his dream, he'll start taking over all the press conferences bless him.

He was at 10-1? Pretty much adamant that it was gonna be him as soon as he said he wanted it so am a fool for not putting a bet on. Although not as much of a fool as he is for wanting it. Unless he's doing it for the money.

Maybe he had some of that!

You know what these Italian football johnnies are like

love this: http://www.geocities.com/alice_otero/juventus/0102/juve_010929_mr.html

Capello lining up a 3-5-2 Roma against Lippi's Juve in Turin back in 2001, and winning!

web translation will never not be funny

Somehow I don't think the players will be running the team any more

If the FA was only going to put one thing right, this would be the place to start. Quite intrigued to see how it plays out.

I PREDICT HIGH DRAMA AND SPARKS FLYING.

What Italians have managed in England apart from Nice Guy Ranieri?

Vialli

Oh yeah. Is that it?

I hear that he admires Franco. Last time the FA wanted Pinochet fan Scolari. Football Association? FASCIST Association, more like.

Still, if he makes the players train on time.

dario gradi

Still, if he makes the players train on time shut the fuck up, play in the positions they're told, stop trying to pick the team and work for a place.

I'm comfortable with that.

QPR's manager is Italian and doesn't speak da lingo too well either. It's working out great...

They beat Burnley!

Current track record of England managers with fluent English:

Shit, Good, Shit, Shit, Mediocre, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit

NV ruined Alba's awesome pun for me :(

Maybe unfair including Robson under "fluent English".

xpost soz Will

Hoddle speaks beautiful English

No, I meant managers who speak fluent English and their performance qua managers.

Also "functional" wd probly be a better description for Hoddle.

Hoddle = fourth best England manager ever

Which still puts him firmly in the "shit" bracket.

Wasn't Lombardo manager of Palace for a while?

I have changed my mind. He has a large art collection.

Dud or excruciatingly dud: no-hope English managers queueing up to pour scorn on the fact that the FA have 'again' appointed a foreign coach?

LJ don't be so cynical. The FA have let down the entire nation by not tossing a coin and appointing Stuart Pearce to racially abuse black players who fail to recognise the historical importance of Waysted.

sorry. Pete Way's Waysted.

I think we'd do better with Gerard Way. Make it happen, FA. Dom can provide the apposite lyric-posting.

Sorry, I'd like to apologise for getting drunk and accusing Stuart Pearce of being a racist.

I could've done that sober.

8. go web2.0 with rateyourenglandplayers.com - Social media and user generated content is the future

Kudos to the Daily Star, who reacted to the news that Capello was learning English by watching Fawlty Towers DVDs with the headline: "IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHING BASIL"

Blatter Shock at Capello Choice

On the day Fabio Capello officially starts work, Fifa boss Sepp Blatter said England had "broken a principle of international football".

"I have never seen Italy, Germany, Brazil or Argentina with a coach from another country," said Blatter.

"In fact, most of the best teams have a coach from their own country."

Well, duh.

"In fact, most of the best teams have a coach from Italy, Germany, Brazil or Argentina."

Unduh!

"When I started at Fifa in 1975 (former England manager) Walter Winterbottom was working for us and English coaches were respected all over the world," he said.

This would be in the middle of the worst decade for English international football ever then, yes?

it's never ceases to amaze me how many of the worst footballing organisations have senile corrupt germans as their heads.

Unduh!

I don't like to state the obvious but we are making the same point right? That England don't fit into that group and hence can appoint a manager from wherever the hell we like.

England is to the elite international countries as Spurs is to the elite domestic clubs.

We are both unduh then.

Sepp Blatter: "on the ball"

If you really want an "English" manager, just get one of those old Amstrad CPC 6128 and program it in BASIC to flash "4-4-2" on the screen every five seconds.

Not that I'm saying that the England team is the Amstrad CPC 6128 of world football, oh no.

it's never ceases to amaze me how many of the worst footballing organisations have senile corrupt germans as their heads.

Uhhhhhhh. Sepp Blatter. Not German.

What about if the evil foreigners taking over our game were SEXXY NAKED FOREIGNERS? What would Sepp's position be then?

2 out of 3 ain't bad xp

What about if the evil foreigners taking over your game were Dutch ladies with strap-ons?

As opposed to Dutch rapists?

We'd break out the goalkeepers!

The Violation Of Stefan Postma was perpetrated by an Englishwoman.

I knew you'd have ALL the facts about that incident, Louis.

It's all on that other thread. ILX is knowledge.

The Violatio Of Stefan Postma was perpetrated by a Englishwoma

And to think he didn't get the joke!

I got it. Oh, I got it all right.

uh blatter ain't german? my bad. where's he from?

Shepton Mallett

guy has so many opinions on English football he must be from here really

"In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? Sepp Blatter."

... Rory Bremner has my permission to steal that for a sketch

doesn't say much for either of you, really....

I know, I should charge him a fee in future

but even reigning champions greece who knocked out elite teams such as spain and france etc. have a foreign manager.

england aren't plucky though.

Need to take tips from plucky bravehearts Scotland

england: too big to be "plucky", too small to be "elite".

Scotland would never be unpatriotic enough to have a foreign manager

england: too big to be "plucky", too small to be "elite".

Big on self-importance? Small on achievement?

yup, sounds about right.

big on steak pies, small on exercise

Do we have any Spanish ILXors? They should really post here in a kinda "Four Yorkshiremen" stylee when people moan about the England team.

At least they're in Euro 2008!

"you english dornt knor y' born. lose at horm t' Croatia? we'd luv to lose at horm t' Russia. plastic pitch, we'd luv t' play ont plastic pitch. best we can do is t' donkeys backside. etc etc. Ole"

that the kind of thing Dom?

"Eeez not rat, eeez Reyes"

yeah i don't think any Spaniards feel they are really worse off than England fans

Don't they care more about Real and Barca anyway? A bit like Liverpool, Arsenal and Man Utd fans? And Celtic fans. And Rangers fans.

and irish fans.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44339000/jpg/_44339262_cappearce203.jpg

They look like a history and PE teacher exchanging notes before parents' evening

who's the bloke signing the car lot to Ian Beale?

=it's never ceases to amaze me how many of the worst footballing organisations have senile corrupt germans as their heads.

I'm struggling to think of one. No German has ever run FIFA; Gerhard Aigner was Gen Sec of UEFA (not President) and was defo about 8/10 for my money. I'm sure corrupt germans have at some stage run the German FA, but most sensible commentators acknowledge the DFB is the best run and most on-the-ball in Europe.

Carry on.

sorry, i meant governments

and texans

http://www.mr-agreeable.net/story.lasso?section=Match%20Reports&id=135

timely bump

years ahead of his england time, but without the necessary pr skills to make us realise it

If downing were playing this world cup England wouldn't have lost.

Steve McLaren RIPE

RT @runofplay When your game-changing weapon is Emile Heskey, you are spiritually looking comical beneath a giant umbrella. about 19 hours ago via web

Surprised no-one's tried to revive the '4-4-2' / '4-5-1' memes we all used to love so much back when

fallen soldier formations imo

Yeah but '4-4-2' used to be 'OTM' and '4-5-1' used to be 'lol hapless losers' and now everyone's jumped on the bandwagon that it's the other way round and if only we'd been playing 4-5-1 maybe we wouldn't have been so shit. It would be a semiotic meme nightmare.

know your history children, know your history

in all seriousness, SPOTY?

noodle vague, take it away

https://www.facebook.com/carly.t.catherine/videos/10157049589060322/

this is amazing!

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Monday, June 27, 2016 10:07 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink