guys, how do i meet "cougars"?

are you going to ask about where to get drugs on this thread too?
and since you started at least one thread about craigslist I'm just going to have to assume you're kidding, here

this a v v important question. thanks, jon.

the answer is to go to bars in working neighborhoods instead of whatever po-faced residential dives you go to normally and then scope

how old til they're cougars proper?

THAT is the more important question

go on.

xxpost go to bed u r nearly there!

I also enjoy the concept of dudes in their late 20s acting like a thirtysomething hitting on them is being a cougar

GIVE IT UP, SEX MACHINE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0zsNukwNQM

you are such a hater.

yeah the way I tried to honestly respond to his sexist dickhead question with the bare minimum of bile and condescension despite my relative disgust at the whole misogynist concept of "cougaring" clearly identifies me as a "hater"

I suppose the reverse of "cougar" is just "pervert" except we still regard dudes who hook up with women 15+ years younger than them as "awesome"

You assume the premise of the thread was serious?

kudos on telex video :D

heh hi dere

Also Watching Now(1)
wizardishungry

hi

I'm DJing at a Women's Studies student party, what tunes would you recommend?

Cougars aren't real; the USA Today told me so.

"cougar" is kind of a fucking gross & dumb term

the North of 14th Street tribute thread

jon knowing what little I do actually know about you I had to assume this question was at least formulated seriously, even if posting it to the internet was meant with purely jocular intent

yes abbott that is true.
although Ocean's 13 put it to good use

It seems like the old thing where people say "I was just kidding" after they are met with a reaction they don't like.

A friend of mine was an extra in some movie called "The Cougar Club" and was on set watching carrie fisher do a doggie style scene

Tom, I am merely curious about touchpoints on the subject

http://www.spokesmanreview.com/stories/2005/jul/3/spt_wsupic3_07-03-2005_I64UFAO.jpg

well, at least i have *my* dignity

http://home.eol.ca/~dord/movie.jpg

The word just makes me think of that lady from "What Not to Wear" being like, 'Oh you SO didn't you could look SO sexy in this blazer tho you hot man." Blech.

And I can't say I totally dig the whole 'women who want sex after 30 are on the prowl catty fiends" or "they has sex=shockah!"

OTOH maybe JW wants to meet BYU students:

http://www.teamblanketstore.com/college/byu.gif

Hint: the college is in Provo, UT.

*scribbles*

catsup dude goes to provo: the miniseries

Maybe you want to meet 3rd grade soccer team students at my old elementary school, home of the Firth Cougars.

There are no bars & only one coffee haus...in PROVO.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkbKjtuNJhQ&feature=related

I think the important thing here is how I get more music by telex that is not the 2006 album i just listened to on itunes which is blaaaaah

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071127/ts_afp/entertainmentbritainusmusicjackson_071126224633

also I just realized it is actually extra hilarious in ocean's 13 that matt damon's character, being played by a 36 year old, is saying a woman is a cougar, though I suppose ellen barkin is 15+ years older than him.

sometimes I think my years of being a player have always been ahead of me.
for one thing I'm nearly 30 and still have ALL MY HAIR

(about to get myself a courtesy ban, I think)

trader hoes, amirite

jdate is actually where you meet older black women and hot foreign women who say things like: "'I do not know what to write about me. Other person sees me, than I much better.Therefore to you to judge me.But I think, that I shall not disappoint you.I'm for serious relationship!"

hush

http://bfcgroup.com/helluvatough/telly.jpg

jdate is for egon kentor, then

according to dan savage you find cougars by getting a job at bars or gyms frequented by rich LOACAs and then let nature take its course. And of course you should borrow Tomboto's wig.

http://wackyraccoon.free.fr/source/jpeg/courgette.jpg

Lonely Older Aroused Cock Addicts?

leopards of a certain apogee

http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/Andro_Elgyn

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/32/John_Cougar_The_Kid_Inside.jpg

# guys, how do i meet "cougars"?
# A bra that lights up!

Millar: fighting for the rights of cougars everywhere

OH MY GOD I AM ONE OF THESE ARENT I.

wait cougars is goths?

No I meant the older woman/younger guy thing.

(last bf 25, current bf 23... I'm er anyway carry on nothing to see here)

being an older woman means never having to get your own coat

not when I live closer to your favorite bar than you ever will

yes, trayce. you are.

AND HOW. Hey I'm not ashamed of it.

nb I am not accusing omar of being a cougar there
just saying

http://www.bergen-filmklubb.no/images/Harold_and_Maude_stort.jpg

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39293000/jpg/_39293301_vodka203.jpg

http://www.ruminator.com/images/AS05/GraduateStill.jpg

most of the women I have TV crushes on are in their forties
whoa makeup

http://www.filmfestivals.com/images/tiff2005galery/images/Susan%20Sarandon.jpg

http://www.fco.gov.uk/Files/kimage/Helen-Mirren-oscar.jpg

Lock thread

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/wireStory?id=3913420

original question's creep factor is outweighed by the healthy fact of becoming bored by & disinterested in hip youth culture

i know the answer to this question

# guys, how do i meet "cougars"? [Started by Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, last updated 54 minutes ago] 70 new answers
# could you ever see yourself reduced to begging? [Started by Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), last updated 1 hour ago] 19 new answers

get a job

GO out in the jungle wearing a suit made of meat.

This is the first I've ever heard "cougar" used in this way.

http://depts.washington.edu/natmap/photos/mammals/cougar_01tk.jpg

oh shit,this thread!

Sex Tourism: classic or dud?

i hate this word

NEWS FLASH! Pornographers repackaging "MILF" interest tapes to have "Cougar" in the titles as slack-jawed masturbators change their preferred slang term. Is "urban dictionary" to blame? DEVELOPING...

http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/2/5/3/8/13248352-13248355-slarge.jpg

(On the other hand, perhaps we should point an accusatory finger at the Fur Lobby and their sinsiter Anthropomorphic Animal Agenda for this disturbing development?)

yah um i think maybe you guys are a bit too sensitive.

how do i meet beautiful and refined older lady?

"cougar" is kind of a fucking gross & dumb term

unlike, say, "chickenhawk".

my friend's brother lives in a condo complex in columbus where he's the youngest guy there by about 10 years (he's 27 or 28) and he loves it for the "cougar factor". and it seems they loved him too. so it works out for everyone.

columbus cougar condo complex

hey i'm not saying anything against attractive women over 36

xp heckuva job there

LOL @ mommy issues

hey i'm not saying anything against attractive women over 36

same. i'm old.

And I can't say I totally dig the whole 'women who want sex after 30 are on the prowl catty fiends" or "they has sex=shockah!"

-- Abbott, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 06:07 (11 hours ago) Link

Uh, there's a difference between 'women who want sex after 30' and 'women who dress provocatively, loudly mention things about not being interested in a relationship after their divorce years ago, and make unflinching, scary eye contact with any male in the 20s at the bar'. Some women are less obvious, but sometimes stereotypes come true, and scare the living hell out of me.

^^ not a word true

has there been a CSI episode about cougars yet?

cougars be dressin and provokin

'in their 20s' I meant

x-post to me

And how is that not true? There are women who ARE on the prowl catty fiends', but they are a small subset of women over 30 wanting sex!

yeah, old bitches should not be allowed to make eye contact!

http://www.musclecarclub.com/musclecars/mercury-cougar/images/mercury-cougar-1a.jpg

A friend of mine was an extra in some movie called "The Cougar Club" and was on set watching carrie fisher do a doggie style scene

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW?

marg helgenberger is in every episode of csi, tom

i would have sex with all this golden girls

My Saturday Night: The Story Behind the Headlines

x-post to bell_labs

Right, or drink a single martini and then try to grab the groin of men they happen to be sitting near after doing all the things I mentioned above.

I think that it's cool if someone chooses to live out this stereotype, but are you ladies seriously trying to claim that it's normal behavior and not deserving some parody?

yeah, old bitches should not be allowed to make eye contact!

-- bell_labs, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 11:36 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

old men who do are frequently/appropriately regarded as creeps

i gotta say that flirting w/ older women is tons of fun. but flirting with any kind of women is tons of fun, so wtf, why the panic

Do these women go HGROWOWLLR like a cougar?

no they scratch your back with their claws since they haven't had sex since the divorce

mh i think what you are describing is not 'post-30s woman on prowl' but 'mental illness'

as if 30 is old wtf

woops

(my post aside i'm not really sure what mh is on about)

http://www.xenafan.com/movies/ghostbusters/dana.jpg

old men who do are frequently/appropriately regarded as creeps

-- deej, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 12:39 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

I cry for all old men everywhere for this inequal travesty

no cunty for old men

Right, or drink a single martini and then try to grab the groin of men they happen to be sitting near after doing all the things I mentioned above

sorry but i can't believe that this is really a reoccuring problem you poor guys have to put up with on a daily basis

old men who do are frequently/appropriately regarded as creeps

-- deej, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 12:39 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

I cry for all old men everywhere for this inequal travesty

-- Will M., Tuesday, November 27, 2007 11:43 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

no one was crying. i said 'appropriately'
i just think its funny that people are getting captain save-a-cougar

x-post

that is kind of the point, that it is completely atypical behavior and hence so interesting

this isn't, like, oppression of older women, more a mild ribbing by folks acknowledging they also mostly like the attention

but again not speaking for mh

i like cougar pussy why because its intertsing

you can speak for me on that, that was on point

mh are you on some kind of unreliable narrator thing? a woman in a bar grabbed my shit oh noeeessss!!!

BRAGGIN 2007

haha at least it makes for a good story. nobody cares about the 943543th time i got my ass groped on the subway.

GUYS seriously, dudes have lusted after widows and divorcees since time immemorial, but most of the time it's been because men have felt free to treat them as whores and ruined women.

http://www.dealbreaker.com/images/entries/drudge+siren.gifTHE INTERNET: maybe a little sexist.http://www.dealbreaker.com/images/entries/drudge+siren.gif

also elmo otm.

No, that happened to my friend who talked to a lady in that circumstance. I've seen the same thing happen a few times, although in this case:

1. I sit down at bar.
2. Woman (LATER OUTED AS COUGAR) sits down a few seats down and repeatedly tries to make this weird flirty eye contact. I stare at beer. I observe her flirting agressively with targets in her "demo"
3. I leave bar, and later find out she pulled that move on a friend who did sit next to her and talk, although she was more interested in mentioning that she had a place, giving her contact info, etc. (groping)

And yeah, I'm not really up on random creepy women grabbing my junk! I might be missing out on a world of awesome.

http://evilbeetgossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/ashdemifug1.jpg

i wouldn't mind being compared to a cougar. they are voracious and ferocious

i just wanted an excuse to say "travesty"

no one ever compares me to a jungle cat ;_;

elmo otm, I have no idea if it's empowering in some way for women to flip that situation around and act like being divorced or older gives them motivation to live by a cougar set of rules, but more power to them if so.

i'd rather be a giraffe than a cougar

yes well it seems like this individual was irritating & problematic in ways that are a bit apart from the "cougar" issue we are carefully and respectfully discussing

xp man what

mh is rubbing the wrong way because instead of cougar sounding like an lol joek its sounding like an actual definitive designation

someone clearly needs to record a song called "cougar" immediately

giraffe sounds like slang for a dude who is aggressively into cunnilingus

no I think it's pretty awesome as a joke and I think it should be joked about freely without people thinking we're mocking all hot older ladies

guys who think older women are hot tend to announce their proclivity with the same kind of weird pride as guys who are all "look, i'm not racist, i'm totally into black chicks!"

motivation to live by a cougar set of rules

"headfirst into the flames" (3xpost)

i dunno the whole flehmen response would get old after awhile though. having to smell another giraffe's urine to see if they are in heat=total dud.

watch out for cougars, you're gonna get mauled!

Alex, I think that pretty much all groups of women can be hot, stfu.

i think we need to define the cut-off as 40, though, not 30, come on now

i think we all need to mouth the phrase "motivation to live by a cougar set of rules" over and over and over again

hence the necessity for a song with those lyrics in it!

nothing rhymes with cougar

i do too, mh, and i wasn't trying to diss you personally or anything

http://www.chuckhawks.com/ruger_P95_new.gif

nothing rhymes with cougar

-- Mr. Que, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 6:01 PM (59 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

peter luger
freddy krueger

booger!

and a little more common, 9 Millimeter Ruger
16 shots, hollow points will go through ya

Jaggis Louger

http://www.tradingmusician.com/images/products/moogmurf.jpg
?

this is one of those bullshit sex and the city things huh

cougars are going to complain and feel even older and more withered than they already do if you mention freddy kruger in a song about them.

ha bell i just grabbed a pic of that

ain't that america, freddy kruger?
ain't that america, president?
i got the motivation to live by a cougar set of rules...
but that don't mean they won't get bent

http://youtube.com/watch?v=f8-DkQMEShY

http://youtube.com/watch?v=C8BI_lAJXfE

i was trying to find this lame ad i saw recently where a guy chooses fast food over a voracious older woman, following the advice of a werewolf buddy.

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Politics/ap_richard_lugar_070626_ms.jpg

^^ total giraffe

i would like to get voracious older women to buy me fast food right now.

but only a voracious one

demur women are bad cougars

demurE

motivation to live by a cougar set of rules

my friends' band is named Cougar (and their first album is called Law)

i wonder how they feel about the prevalence of this term

where'd this thread go?

a top result on the word 'cougar'

http://www.urbancougar.com/

I'm already getting set to collab with Helltime Producto this weekend on "Old Ladies Don't Get AIDS"

uh, nevermind

So the answer to the original question is to go to a place that is acceptable to people within a broad age range but has mostly people in their 20s

or

Find a cougar bar

I just googled for a place near here that I have heard (but not witnessed) is such a bar and got this review from a local publication:

The crowd here skews a little older than your average dance club, but for some interesting people-watching and some great '80s music (they only play songs you can dance to), this place is definitely worth a visit. If you're looking for an older hookup, and you don't mind a little baggage, this could be the place.

"a little baggage"
!!!!

It's in an airport.

oh you mean like the bags under their wrinkly eyes, rite??

172 posts and not a single Mellencamp album cover.

What, do you have images turned off?

guys, how do i meet "cougars"?

has there been a CSI episode about cougars yet?

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 5:35 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

hahahaha

xp - thought that was a magazine cover, "The Kid Issue"

Doogie was defeated by Jane Seymour as a cougar law professor in How I Met Your Mother

"cougar, huh? looks like this cat...

[sunglasses on]

just ran out of her nine lives."

yeaaooooooowwww!!!!

omg yeah how did we forget jane seymour cougaring in Wedding Crashers

i think if there's a csi episode about cougars, the episode's coda should be marg helgenberger picking up some young dude at a bar because she is now intrigued by 'the dark side'

especially since it is such a unique occurrence in a medium dominated by old dudes banging women 15+ years younger than them.
xpost

NO NO, she should be at a bar, and a young dude offers to buy her a drink and there is a LONG PAUSE and then marg smiles and shakes her head.

i saw a csi about fat chicks last night

"shouldn't you be playing with someone your own size?"

end credits

that would work for the last scene of the fat chicks one too

*smiles sadly*

I am pretty surprised L&O/CSI didn't do a show inspired by Mr. Hands.

I kind of love the BBW episode, especially how they all keep pinching gil's ass and hitting on him and he's just playing along until he has to fess up that he's working a murder

and the spiky haired kid flipping through the plus size lingerie catalog at the end "I find other people's predilictions intriguing"

I would probably go home with marg

depending entirely on my appraisal of her sincerity when laughing at my jokes

she can be as insincere as she wants

my would-smash list is dominated by the 40+ division;
Mary-Louise Parker
Diane Lane
Maura Tierney
Lauren Graham
Jennifer Beals
Ally Sheedy
Dana Delany

Jennifer Jason Leigh, Phoebe Cates

(lol child of the '80s apparently)

marg helgenberger is so pretty

otm

another reason to luv ILX: listing Old Broads who are my age or younger

Morbs which Bowery Boy would you hit?

Terrence Aloysius "Slip" Mahoney (Leo Gorcey), Horace Debussy "Sach" Jones (Huntz Hall), Whitey (Billy Benedict), Chuck (David Gorcey, sometimes billed as David Condon), and Butch (usually Bennie Bartlett, occasionally former East Side Kid Buddy Gorman). The proprietor of the malt shop where they hung out was the panicky Louie Dumbrowski

Dr Morbius went to school with all of these ladies
guys we have an in!

dibs on mlp

lol at bowery boy

Sandra Bullock: would smash/would not smash?

her face looks smashed

milo's list otm

Dan, that is a question that has plagued mankind. I think I'm voting no?

Why doesn't tombot get worked up over "smash"?

Most guys get worked up over "smash"!

ILE f/ Akon, "Smash That"

if "smash" and "cougar" can be seen (in the proper context) as completely non-binding joek terms like "mad gay" and "retarded" then that would probably explain my position best

I would have no problem with the word cougar as just a lame gag but a hound like jon asking "dudes how does I smashed some cougars" is toeing a thin line (see above)

Toeing it!

cougar is better than milf imo

the latter is more of a compliment, though

Not that that is the wrong half of the eggcorn! I am just surprised. xposts

yeah milf has always sound gross

you know how some people hate the word "moist?" I think I have a similar problem with words like "smurf" and "milf"

lol @ tom

"Milf" just SOUNDS gross.

I don't like "Smurf" either.

smurf?

im enjoying cougar terminology. were i an older lady on the prowl itd make me feel so sexy an dangerous raaaar!

hey do any of you boys need a ride to soccer practice?

meal...i always hated that word too

a meal with a milf

blech

rawr minivan

Wait, is meal a sexual term? Or just a word you don't like the sound of?

milf o meal

i hate the sound

moist meal with a milf

i'm gona puke

yuck

smurfy milfshake

omar otm re: blech

milf of magnesia

oh god shut up

i thought marg helgenberger was a football coach

tombotm

milfblog

nb: i know the name of the actual football coach, thanks

Why "The Blurf"...
This was a nickname earned at a college party..alcohol was involved...too much alcohol..I got ill & during it I hiccoughed and someone said-"Hey Its the Incredible Blurf!" The whole room busted out laughing..the rest is history.

blarf

i like where this is going

lol

http://www.roman-showers.com/

i hate the word "paprika"

i wish this question got answered

i somehow doubt jw would know how to handle a rapacious cooougahhhh

I just got an e-mail sent to the wrong Tomboto about Yolande's grandma's barium enema. It went fine. Please everyone bring an appetizer to share for Christmas dinner!

I'd have made more creepy jokes on this thread but it wd be out of character.

http://www.apartmentrentalsinc.com/images/pullman/Pullman_The%20Cougar/Cougar%20Layout.jpg

* Extremo Citrico Vibrante
* Extremo Mango Electrico
* Extremo Tropical Intenso

Playboy's got its bunnies. Penthouse has its pets. We've got what else, cougars! The urbancougar of the Month celebrates the real life cougars out their on the prowl. Each month we will feature one of our loyal urbancougars.

If you'd like to nominate yourself for urbancougar of the Month, send an email to C✧✧✧@urbancou✧✧✧.c✧✧

Name: Chenay

Classification: Ferrari

Location: Hawaii

Preferred Dens: "For the most part I work a lot at a sushi restaurant and meet most of them there... but when I do go out it's at a club called Skyline. But to tell you the truth, I am always on the prey, I even find them at the grocery store =)"

In her own words
“I think it's a compliment that i can still attract younger men at my age. When i meet my prey, i let it be known that it's all about having fun...nothing more. I been through some crappy relationships in the past and got tired of being taken advantage of, so i did a complete turn around and i became the "Man" so to speak...”

Why we love her
How can you not?

Livin’ in Hawaii, workin’ at a sushi restaurant. . Body sushi anyone? This super hot jungle-style urbancougar makes hunting look easy. Catching her prey is as simple as smiling…

“I think it’s a compliment that I can still attract younger men at my age.”? How can she say that with a body like that? It’s not a compliment, if it’s fact! It seems to us that this exotic cougar from the islands is out for a little fun in the sun! Anyone for skinny dipping in the ocean?

Q&A

So when did it become clear that you prefer the company of younger men?
“I have always been told that i look younger than i am, and have always attracted younger men, it kinda just hit me around 2 years ago to try it out...been hooked ever since! “

How sexy does it make you feel when an attractive younger man falls prey to your seductions?
“I get a crazy high knowing that i have that power over them!”

Do you have any special tactics when hunting your prey?
“Not really...i just spot my target and usually get what i am after. Usually start by making eye contact to make it known that i'm interested....”

Please tell us the first experience that made you go urbancougar?
“All i can say is that my first experience stared with a guy i met on myspace....it was that good that i can't go back to men my age.”

Want to share the gory details of your latest kill?
“That one i have to keep a secret...sorry =(“

What do your girlfriends think about your urbancougar ways?
“All my girlfriends are in their 20's...so they think that it's awesome that i get guys their age and have fun with my life being an UrbanCougar...They nickname me Master Yoda because of my experiences!”

Do you have any words of encouragement for your fellow cougars out there?
“UrbanCougar...it's a new way of life...don't be afraid to live it up and have fun! I'm 38 and since i became a cougar i can honestly say that i am having the time of my life right now!”

Is there anything else we should know about you?
“I’m the type of person that love to take chances and don't let what anyone thinks about me stop me from having fun with my life. Younger men are fun and I usually find that they are like putty in your hands...you can make them do whatever you want with no questions asked. I do have a few rules that I have when I do get my prey...

1. I usually meet up with them late at night.
2. I don't sleep over.
3. Strictly sex...no cuddling, kissing on the lips and no looking in the eyes.
4. Don't ask me any questions about my life and i don't want to know anything about yours, other than your name and that you are STD free =)
5. I don't plan ahead for the next kill, I like it spur of the moment...that's the whole thrill for me!”

Strictly sex...no cuddling, kissing on the lips and no looking in the eyes.

gross

not down, not like a clown, not like charlie buh brown

xp: That is so gay

Morbs which Bowery Boy would you hit?

I never saw enough to tell em apart. I think a couple of em looked pretty good toward the end of their series (when they were about 35).

this thread creeps me out

i hate the word "paprika"

this is my top name for a potential daughter

I just remembered I have Lulu's "I'm a Tiger" on my iTunes at home

lol mookieproof wants his girl to be chakiproof

most parents do

Chakity belt

lolol

“All my girlfriends are in their 20's...so they think that it's awesome that i get guys their age and have fun with my life being an UrbanCougar...They nickname me Master Yoda because of my experiences!”

ick

you say that now, but wait until you fuck yoda.

I don't plan ahead for the next kill

fucking scary

They nickname me Master Yoda because of my experiences!

gotta be some weeeeeeird roleplaying

xxpost

http://www.philipcoppens.com/sw_luke_yoda.jpg

Come back to my place, you will.

"STD free? Well, let's just say nothing's in bloom right now"

http://student.nuigalway.ie/~handball/pics/Yoda.jpg

http://www.urbancougar.com/stories.php

ok, it's time again for the Turning Off Of The Images

hey everybody! i've been in a redundant training seminar all day! What did i miss?

As we are being attacked Mutual of Omaha style, I suggest that the 2 hungry cougs come back to my joint for some hot-tubbing. They are excited at the proposition and before you know it we are all in the hot tub in our skivvies getting it on. Both of us were dragged inside as the cougs were smelling blood and needed to make the kill. Powerless, we were pounced on like a jackal would tear into a zebra carcass…. When the lights were off, J-bird mentioned that he imagined in his mind, a young 24yrd old hottie working his dong like rib, until he reached his hand into the cougs holy land and found a flashback to the 1980's... Thats when reality stuck my fine friend that this was no longer the same ballgame that he normally ventured into, and this coug had not recieved the memo that grand bush had disappeard long ago with the jorts...With the coug, Forest Gump said it best "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.” Fortunately for me, my coug had received the memo and we were dancing on hardwood floors. Even after that experience, J-Bird is still game for hunting, and being the hunted. After we were both treated like a piece of meat, the cougs were happy to jot down their numbers and get out of dodge, full well knowing that they wouldn’t get a call from us and that got what they wanted as their Sunday afternoon hunt was a complete success. Long live the Cougar, I am hooked.

so much going in that paragraph i dont know where to start

SO MANY LIES

THE COUG

No tale of erotic adventure should ever include the word "carcass."

When the lights were off, J-bird mentioned that he imagined in his mind, a young 24yrd old hottie working his dong like rib, until he reached his hand into the cougs holy land and found a flashback to the 1980's...

lol shoulderpads

this thread is making me so terrified of aging :/

what are "jorts"

http://eteamz.active.com/KCCOUGARZ/images/CGZ.gif

http://urbancougar.com/ucmonth200506.php

31-year old cougar?

Compared to college students? Mmmmmmaybe. College students are usually disgusting, tho.

this thread is making me so terrified of aging :/

Why? Apparently you get to be wank-fodder for lying virgins savage hot musclebound yuppies!

"working his dong like rib" -- explain me this metaphor...?

No tale of erotic adventure should ever include the word "carcass."

except as part of the phrase "then we boned in Carcassonne"

i am not a virgin, dan!

this thread is making me so terrified of aging :/

Why? Apparently you get to be wank-fodder for lying virgins savage hot musclebound yuppies!

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 10:27 PM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

who refer to me as "the coug"!!!~!

this thread is making me so terrified of aging :/

cos you'll be stuck with guys your own age? are they so terrible?

"working his dong like rib" -- explain me this metaphor...?

She put his penis in her mouth and used her teeth to strip all of skin and meat off of it as she pulled it back out.

(xp: Chaki, you are way too chill to be a virgin.)

HEY AS LONG AS YOU GET THE MEMO ABOUT HARDWOOD FLOORS NO PROB BOB U CAN DEF HOOK UP WITH J-BIRD

jorts, jean shorts

which obv are still alive and well

I was gonna say, the "hardwood floors" thing is the scariest to me.

virgins can't be 'chill'? did Judd Apatow teach you ppl NOTHING?

jorts is way worse than moist or milf or any other fucking thing you guys are complaining about

unlike, say, "chickenhawk".

This is kind of a fucking gross and dumb term.

Uh, Judd Apatow tought me that virgins can't be chill. He also taught me multivariable calculus.

Never say "moist." Say "sultry."

"it's not a compliment if it's a fact"????

bwahaha dr morbs for the win

check out the coug getting moist in her jorts

oh god i just made myself gag

I think you made everyone gag!

plz dont encourage his apatow fetish

lol elmo

check out the coug getting moist in her jorts

Deep in the thick of her Grand Bush, no less. I tell you, it was GRAND!

If milf has evolved into the world of porn titles into cougar, denoting the same thing ("not barely legal!"), then cougar should be the equivalent, basically of milf:

Hot lady whose biological clock is ticking a bit louder who I'd Like to Fuck.

Not "saucy overtanned trampy divorcee who grabs mad 22-yr-old junk while downing her Long Island ice teas.

http://i3.tinypic.com/72ve3gz.jpg

Tho trampy middle-aged women are a problem I've witnessed. Would not say they are dougars tho, that kind of indicates WANT to fuck not DANGER WILL ROBINSON

What the hell even is JORTS?

After some pleasantries, and some conversation about extracurricular activities, the fact that I used to be a sponsored wakeboarder came out and that turned a few heads; as it usually does.

http://nymag.com/daily/food/2007/11/gael_greenes_secrets_of_restau.html

Morbius' law (also known as Morbius' Rule of Apatow Analogies)[1] is an adage formulated in 2007. The law states:[2][3]

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Judd Apatow approaches one.

Morbius' law is often cited in online discussions as a caution against the use of inflammatory rhetoric or exaggerated comparisons, especially fallacious arguments of the reductio ad Apatowum form.

Cougy Howser MD

I also hate the term "tadpole."

WEIRD! WEIRD. I thought John Ritter was in this as a dad or something:

http://www.availableimages.com/images/previews/Tadpole%20(2002).jpg

OMG he is...and the kid falls in love with his STEPMOM.

* Dysfunctional Family
* Family
* Dysfunctional
* Tadpoling
* Crush
* Drunk Scene
* Grand Central Station New York
* Massage
* New York City
* Older Woman
* Prep School
* Restaurant
* Scarf
* Seduction
* Sideburns
* Stepmother
* Tennis
* Voltaire
* Thanksgiving
* New York
* Best Friend
* Boyfriend Girlfriend Relationship
* Business Card
* Coming Of Age
* Doorman
* Drunken Sex
* Fake Sideburns
* Father Son Relationship
* Goodbye
* Kitchen Scene
* Older Woman Younger Man
* Party
* Philosophy
* Restaurant Scene
* Stepmother Stepson Relationship
* Tea
* Train Ride
* Wine Drinking
* Independent Film

TADPOLE???

oh rushmore you know i love you but you have so much to answer for

http://www.spokesmanreview.com/library/wsu/desktop/thumbnail.gif

those cougs better have some hardwood floors under their jorts if they want to pounce on that tadpole like a jackal would tear into a zebra carcass.

ABORT ABORT METAPHOR OVERLOADED, SHE CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS

I am still hung up on the grand bush. Think of this bush, will you? Not merely unshaven, no -- those are a dime a dozen. Nor was it simply "hairy," as some will so indelicately put it. This bush had transcended "unkempt." It belonged to a higher category of hirsuteness, a realm that only the most daring connoisseur can appreciate. This bush had a distinctive aura, a flourish, a sweeping and theatrical presence. I tell you, this bush was grand.

i want to change my screen name to j-bird

poor j-bird.

whoa wait when did kenan turn into louis jagger

Ray Smuckles? xxxp

LG was kind of always poaching Kenan's line, I think.

"and pretty soon we were gettin' mad-rutty"

Er, LJ.

apparently it was the grand bush that did it. not sure how louis turned into louis tho.

Ray Smuckles would understand. Yes he would.

Maybe like Cornelius Bear if he was a pervo. Or having to write a hardcore 'romance novel.'

Ray+Cornelius mos defs the tone.

Did you copy'n'paste that kenan?

You know he didn't, come on.

I wonder where striped shirt frat fuckos pick up that style of jargon-only storytelling. I guess I just answered my own question right there, though.

It's a little more floral that the down&dirty kenan I know & love.

xp

http://www.gooseberriesmarket.com/images/departments/floral.jpg + http://www.ripboard.com/photos/Gauley_Fest/images/Gauley_Fest_mud_wrestling16.jpg = Kenan!

Oscar Grubman, the fifteen year-old prodigal son author Stanley Grubman, is taking the train home from the Chauncey Academy for Thanksgiving. Seated with his good friend Charlie, an attractive girl from his school, Miranda Spears, approaches him seemingly with interest and asks him what he's reading. Oscar politely brushes her off telling her its Voltaire; later explaining to his shocked chum, Charlie, that he is in love with another woman, and that he plans to win her heart this break.

They arrive in New York City and share a cab to their respective houses; Oscar parts from Charlie at his apartment were he is greeted with the nickname 'tadpole' from the doorman Jimmy, lending the title of the movie. Oscar introduces us to his dad, the work-obsessed writer, Stanley, and stepmother, the passionate doctor, Eve. That evening the Grubman's hold a party; Oscar's dad introduces him to a girl of his age, but Oscar is in love with some one more mature. As the girl tries to talk with him Oscar remains distracted by the woman, who it turns out that he loves, his stepmother, Eve. Following Eve to the kitchen Oscar begins to put on his charm, but the unsuspecting Eve doesn't pick up on any of his advances. He then bumps into Eve's best friend, the chiropractor, Diane Lodder, she asks him about a book he has on Voltaire; he quotes: "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." ending by saying that Voltaire had a sense of humor. Voltaire is quoted several times throughout the film with a shot of the quote to break up the body of the movie. Oscar's dad makes him walk the girl home, but after getting her outside he buys her a cab. Depressed from his failure to gain Eve's love, Oscar goes to a bar and gets drunk; after hitting on the French singer in French, though she herself does not speak French, he leaves for home.

Along the way he stumbles into Diane, who offers to take him home seeing his current condition. Once there, Oscar lies down on Diane's chiropractic table; discovering him already there Diane begins to message him. After a brief rub Oscar notices Diane is wearing Eve's scarf and can smell Eve on it. Being drunk Oscar kisses Diane; they then proceed to have sex. Oscar awakes the next morning to meet Diane's boyfriend Phill, who thinks Oscar is a patient. Oscar goes home and asks his dad where Eve was. He says she is at work, so Oscar packs up a lunch to surprise her with. Before he could go his dad asks him to come with him shopping; while out his dad discovers he was out last night with a girl, but Oscar tells him she was a schoolmate, Miranda Spears. He gets away from his dad and surprises Eve at her lab with the lunch. Oscar asks her how she can work with the heart and still think of it as a symbol for love; she explains that the heart itself is incredible and doesn't need to be a symbol, and together they decide that the liver should be the new symbol for love. Their conversation is interrupted by a phone call from Stanley, who reminds them of their dinner tonight at Le Gardin with Diane; Oscar freaks out about Diane's presence and rushes off to talk with her. Her boyfriend Phil directs him to the tea room. Oscar finds Diane with several friends, who all apparently heard about the previous evening, he is ensnared in a conversation and receives a number from one of the ladies; once alone with Diane he makes her promise to keep last night a secret. He also finds out that Eve once had a thing for sideburns.

In desperation for Eve's love Oscar goes to Charlie for help. He is forced to tell Charlie about Diane and Eve weirding him out, and in the end Oscar leaves with two sideburns from Charlie's cat. That night at dinner Oscar promises to play tennis with Eve. His dad meets Miranda Spears, the girl Oscar said he was with. After some whine Diane begins to play footsie with Oscar and she flirts with him in French; he excuses himself so they can talk and she kisses him while they're out, but Oscar's dad could see them through a mirror. Finally Diane says that they are lovers and the evening ends very awkwardly.

The next day Diane explains to Eve why she did what she did saying that she was looking for something more and Oscar was a charming young man. Eve and Oscar play a tense round of tennis lobbing insults at each other. Later Oscar explains to her that he only did what he did with Diane because he was drunk and she was wearing her scarf. Eve immediately understands that he is in love with her. They share a passionate kiss, but she quickly breaks away.

The next scene Eve and Stanley are seen taking Oscar to the train to leave for Chauncey again. While they are alone Eve asks Oscar how his liver feels and he replies that it hurts. On the train Oscar runs into Miranda who quotes Voltaire: "If we do not find something pleasant at least we will find something new." Changes by David Bowie starts up as the final scene shows Oscar tell Charlie what he realised. Charlie doesn't understand his friend, and we see Oscar smile as the train rolls on.

It's a little more floral

Oh yes. I forgot to mention this bush's intoxicating bouquet!

omg kenan did you really write that? I am imagining that woman with a Walt Whitman vagbeard growing down to her fucking knees!

That's it, I'm done reading this thread.

I am assuming "vagbead" is a contracted form of "vagabond beard" regardless of context/evidence.

She Was Like A Bearded Rainbow

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_L._Bush

http://www.imdhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_L._Bushb.com/name/nm0005598/

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1326/747161425_62a04ef857_o.jpg

eighth circle, yo

But the preacher has a MOUSTACHE!

He also finds out that Eve once had a thing for sideburns.

that plot is beyond contrived

I wondered why "fake sideburns" was an IMDB tag.

"Oscar asks her how she can work with the heart and still think of it as a symbol for love; she explains that the heart itself is incredible and doesn't need to be a symbol, and together they decide that the liver should be the new symbol for love."

!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡

bebe neuwirth went to my high school

Le Gardin

lol

http://www.dailycal.org/images/art/08.29.Tadpole.jpg

"ur perfumerones maded me fuk scarf lady"

abbot you turned this thread into an abbott thread!

Everyone turned this thread into an Abbott thread!

Co-op-er-a-tion!
Makes it hap-pen!

Bebe Neuwirth is the best-case scenario of coug-dom.

that shit still looks less excruciating than 'charlie bartlett'

i liked it better when Tombot was being all Marc Loi

Frank Sinatra sang it best:

The PTA, Mrs. Robinson
Won't OK the way you do your thing
Ding, ding, ding

And you'll get yours, Mrs. Robinson
Foolin' with that young stuff like you do
Boo, hoo, hoo; woo, woo, woo

hey chaki, fuck you for that.

guys cougars look just like Bratz© dolls:

http://www.urbancougar.com/classes_ucs.php#FG

one of these days I'll compare you to Wagemann and we can be even

kenan and i are comfortable with our mutual equivalence, you should be too

haha

xpost

my hardman ego is more prone to butthurtness

this thread needs more kevin john bozolka to get that hardman revving again

I think everybody gets enough bozelka over on ILM

ILM on the bozelk

moist bozelk in the coug's jorts

BOZELKA 'NUFF FOR YA?

you guys know what this thread actually needs?

wtf is wrong with you people

two things

i guess you guys didnt get the memo that the bozelka went out in the 80s along with ILM and jorts!

1. those cartoon drawings of cougar archetypes from urbancougar.com posted next to the osama-thumbs-up from the batshit cartoonist thread

2. gree hee hee hee

3. some hardwood floors

4. barbecue sauce

5. JOOOOORTZ

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NSFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.floorprojects.com/images/hardwood.jpg

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NSFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. (-)

1. Jorts 401 up, 50 down

Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like. If you wear jorts, you probably don't talk to girls. The term "jorts" does not apply to jean shorts worn by black people, as those are entirely acceptable.

oh, now i get it

a kind of wtf addendum

5. JOOOOORTZ

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/051115/051115_aniston_vmed_3p.widec.jpg

I've decided the code word for going out with some buddies in search of a cougar to get eaten by is "Kenpo Practice." Long story.

loldendum

great slang, t-bird

somebody urbandict that shit for me

JOOORTZ sounds like Swedish Chef's cougar-hunting call.

"The word kenpō is a Japanese translation of the Chinese word "quánfǎ", meaning "fist principles", "way of the fist," or "law of the fist form.""

woman of the year: topless, bejorted - just how i like em.

topless, bejorted, and 38 years old. Prime time, baby.

woman of the year: topless, bejorted

...considerably older than i?

dammit xp w/ kenan. ok i'm done here

eh-em

woman of the year: topless, bejorted, cougie - just how i like em.

Her side-boob looks kinda fake...?

fakeawesome

Poor dear, if she stood up her jorts would tumble to the hardwood floor. They look about 10" too wide a circumference!

SHOPPED, ALL OF IT SHOPPED

thats because... THEY ARE MY JOOOOOOOORTZ !!!

XXXXXXXPPPPPPPPPPPPP

that side boob looks more than shopped, it looks like it was rolled onto a perfect ball out of play-doh and mushed onto her.

coug boob shopped! coug boob shopped! coug boob shopped!

coug boob jortz shop

Guys, I think we are a nanosecond away from creating a new and exciting language.

looks like we failed.

...OR DID WE????

http://i16.tinypic.com/8a4djj4.gif

here we go.

http://img9.mediabistro.net/blogs-mbtoolbox-original-Jocelyn_Wildenstein1-thumb.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=462941&in_page_id=1879

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_02/cougarsDM1806_468x835.jpg

raaaaar!

lol britishers

But is this film really reflecting a genuine social trend? It seems so.

urgh do they not understand the concept of miLf?

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/VAS/0000-4919-4~Naval-Maneuvers-Posters.jpg

Is there a jdate of milfs?

Karin, who is on the board of various charities and who has four children from three marriages, is perfectly happy to be called a cougar. In fact, in her bid to meet younger men, she posted on a website called gocougar.com.

http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/images/1048.jpg

"a jdate of milfs"

a scrofula of cougars

a milf and a cougar are two different things

a spanking of jorts

“IS this really still Los Angeles?” asked Hélène Rottier, a friend from Tahiti, peering across the Santa Monica Mountains obscured in the Wagnerian carpet of mist rising from the Pacific 2,000 feet below. We had hiked up the four-mile Temescal Canyon Trail, which twists from the village center of Pacific Palisades through thick scrub, sycamores and oaks and past a small waterfall where deer and an occasional cougar pause to drink.

http://travel.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/travel/25next.html

oh, cougar pause

your mom is an occasional cougar

http://www.buyhappyfeet.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/Washington_St_320x235.jpg

Post cougar-pause-al zest

http://texnat.tamu.edu/ranchref/predator/cougars/c1.jpg

thick scrub

http://wdfw.wa.gov/wlm/living/graphics/cougar6b.jpg

too large to post here.

Ah, found the thumbnail

http://wdfw.wa.gov/wlm/living/graphics/t_cougar6b.jpg

lol dan

http://meep.us/badges/badge_ken_cougar.jpg

OH GOD

...the jorts...the jorts...

a milf and a cougar are two different things

given the evidence here, a milf is a woman you would enjoy the physical act of love with, whereas a cougar needs to slip something in your drink and blackmail you later with polaroids so you don't go to the police.

OK I TAKE BACK ANYTHING I IMPLIED ABOUT BEING ONE OF THESE HOS.

http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2006/celebdatabase/patrickdempsey/patrick_dempsey4_180_240.jpg

i'm loving oilyrags' double-meaning up there.

and yeah, kenan has it, it's not like you'd really lf a cougar.

not unless she had hardwood floors, lj-bird!

no you're all wrong, a cougar is a woman who is a willing partner in this 'hunt', a milf is the one you idealize from afar

your friend's mom who you've never talked to vs the 45 yr old flirting with you at the bar. looks don't enter into play.

maybe a genuinely attractive cougar could be called a molly (from 'mountain lion' -> moli -> molly).

Maybe a genuinely attractive cougar could be called YR MOM

you could tell from one meeting with her son, dan? i'm impressed!

oh wait no i've just implied she's a cougar ;_;

o_O

lol pwned

you fucked uuuuuuuuuppppp

at least it's a familiar feeling eh right, the comfort of shame

im actually not going to shop lj drag face on to seduced by a cougar body

buttshamed

This thread is everything great about ILX.

uh

huh

uh

her
(xpost DAMMIT)

DA DA DA

lol

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2384/2070257848_d4b5eb1345_o.jpg

that's a shitty set of circles

(TOMBOT OTM)

what belongs in the middle?

bananarama

online venn creator thinks ovals are superior to circles

oval = implied fattey?

that's a shitty set of circles, uh huh
el tomboto otm, uh huh
these are things you have to know
loved you though it didn't show

ps does anybody else feel like that intersect is staring back at them

coongrats if you can get almost 50% of milfs to turn on you as cougars

*congrats

MILF v. COUGAR=THE POLL

ps does anybody else feel like that intersect is staring back at them

omg tombot you truly have taken the tittays away now ;_;

Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug. Out of respect I will refer to her as The Coug.

COONgrats!

uh dan what

I am roffling at typos.

oh god I didn't see that

cougrats

¯\(°_o)/¯

cougrats: cougars who leave you with a nasty STD or five

I can't find a good GIS result for coongrats ;_;

Except for this: http://www.fototime.com/595DFDAE82F8F29/orig.jpg

"They come up Saturday night with their girlfriends, they're away from their husbands and families, and they're looking for a good time," Brendan explains. "They're sluts. I think 'cougar' is too generous a term, really. They're just old sluts."

tombot's venn diagram rorschach test is still freezing my very marrow

Try putting on some pants.

http://photo.gangus.com/d/26764-2/zing.jpg

"dude, are you bangin' a website?"

dude stop. you already outed yr mom as a cougar

what belongs in the middle?

-- milo z, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 7:15 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

THIS GUY

also I still actually know the real answer to this question

A: GO TO ASPEN

http://www.urbancougar.com/images/subimg.jpg

what is this, some sorta cartoonish representation of a Jennifer Coolidge character?

http://www.kermitage.com/html/characterindex/tms/character/fozzie.jpg

haha all those cougar subdivisions on that site are kind of fascinating in a disgusting way...like sexxing cougars is the adult fratty male equivalent of pokemon

gotta poke 'em all!

<repost fozzie.jpg here>

more like pokémoms amirite folks?

My former roommate got unwanted advances from a 32-year-old criminal defense lawyer. She wanted him to show her his ID to make sure he was legal.

a 32-year-old criminal defense lawyer

my god, if at all hot, would SO smash.

your god's weird

that also happened on the hit series "girlfriends"

A good friend of mine got back from Iraq and was performing cunnilingus on a cougar when her dog came up behind him and started licking his bare ass.

he met her in a really cheesy bar. She was 50.

WOTAN IMPLICATED IN TRYST WITH "PASSABLY SMASHABLE" DEFENSE ATTORNEY

Because someone had put lobster eggs in it, which grew in her uterus, and everyone saw when they threw her a surprise party!

This thread makes me wonder if someone messed up my birth certificate and I'm actually still only 25 or some shit cause I sure as hell don't feel or look like the leathery hags being mentioned here.

xxxp

a cheesy bar in aspen?

Rocky Mountain Cougar

thread reheated, fit for lollages again.

reheated like the dried-up sexuality of a 45 year-old housewife on meeting an impressionable young teenager with a fresh face and a stiff carrot. you're only as old as the person you're statutorially raping.

TADPOLE DANCE

PRIVATE COUGAR, COUGIN' FOR MONEY

ok now that don is telling stories about his buddy in a threeway with a 50 yr old and a salad-tossing dog i'm outta here

Ralph the world's most famous salad-tossin' dog

RIMJOB y'all breederfaces

salad-tossing dog

well that's the last time I eat dinner while reading ILX

Theories on dogs

Coprophagia is a behavior sometimes observed by dog owners. Hofmeister, Cumming, and Dhein (2001) wrote that this behavior in dogs has not been well-researched, and are currently preparing a study. In a preliminary paper, they write that there are various hypotheses for this, although none have been proven:

* To get attention from their owners.
* From anxiety, stress, or having been punished for bad behaviors.
* They had been punished for having defecated in the past, and attempt to clean up out of fear to be punished again.
* From boredom.
* In an attempt to clean up in crowded conditions.
* Imitation of behavior observed when their owners pick up feces (allelomimetic behavior). This is highly improbable because the behavior has also been observed in environments where owners never picked up the dog's (or other) feces.
* Because puppies taste everything and discover that feces are edible and, perhaps, tasty, especially when fed a high fat content diet.
* Because dogs are, by nature, scavengers, and this is within the range of scavenger behavior.
* To prevent the scent from attracting predators, especially mother dogs eating their offspring's feces.
* Because the texture and temperature of fresh feces approximates that of regurgitated food, which is how canine mothers in the wild would provide solid food.
* Because of the protein content of the feces (particularly cat feces), or over-feeding, leading to large concentrations of undigested matter in the feces.
* Due to assorted health problems, including:
o Pancreatitis
o Intestinal infections
o Food allergies, creating mal-absorption
* Because they are hungry, such as when eating routines are changed, food is withheld, or nutrients are not properly absorbed.
* Carnivores may sometimes eat or roll in the feces of their prey to ingest and exude scents which camouflage their own.

The most obvious reason--desperate hunger--is rarely considered.

Some veterinarians recommend putting meat tenderizer in dogfood, since this makes the feces taste excessively bad to dogs. Several companies produce food additives that can also be added to the animal's food to make feces taste bad.[citation needed]

Due to the attraction of dogs to their feces, a popular Chinese idiom goes "A dog cannot change its habit of eating feces", which usually refers to a bad habit that is hard to correct.[citation needed]

"Ri Ralph re Dog. Ri give rou rimjob, Moby!"

rooby rooby rimjob

Whenever she's feeling empty
Whenever she's feeling insecure
Whenever her face is frozen
Unable to fake it anymore
Her shadow is always with her
Her shadow will always keep her small
So frightened that he wont love her
She builds up a wall

Oh no, she knows where to hide in the dark
Oh no, she's nowhere to hide in the dark

She's a star

She's been in disguise forever
She's tried to disguise her stellar views
Much brighter than all this static
Now she's coming through

Oh no, she knows where to hide in the dark
Oh no, she's nowhere to hide in the dark

She's a star

Don't tell her to turn down,
Put on your shades if you can't see,
Don't tell her to turn down,
Turn up the flame.
She's a star

It's a long road
It's a great cause
It's a long road
Its a good call
You got it,
You got it,

SHE'S A STAR

Hahha I was just thinking about James the other day after like 7 years without listening to them.

I was looking for the KANO song but that had to do

I am very, very sorry my impulses got the best of me. About that dog post.

Also:

"from boredom"

So classic.

james is always good for lols

in a world full of dom passantinos, certainly

dude that was quality, don't apologize just because you made curtis heave over his cup noodle, this thread was never for the squeamish from the get-go

(no offense curtis)

nah I thought it was a++++ too

Because puppies taste everything and discover that feces are edible and, perhaps, tasty, especially when fed a high fat content diet.

Puppies: NASTY

curt1s isn't the sort for actin' prudish, he was just giving us another broadside of wit. he also needs to post more. on his a-game he's MVP material.

at least cats have the decency to be revolted enough by their own filth to bury it

(aww j/k i wuv puppy wuppies just as much as anyone else)

the fact that women younger than me are being called cougars is hilarious, bewildering, depressing, and ludicrous all at once. you can't see it but i'm making circles around my ear with my index finger, the international sign for "you're crazy".

well, i'm talking about mid-40's and upwards. 32 year-old defense lawyer = HOT

I can see it

you look tired

just don't tell us what Louis looks like right now

LOUIS GO TO BED. ILX WILL BE HERE IN THE MORNIN

tailpipe.jpg?

IN THA MOE-NEEN

god she's pretty hot as well all things told. no julia stiles but then few women are xxxxpost OK HAVE IT YOUR WAY AMERICA

I'm pretty sure that woman with the salad-tossing dog was not a lawyer.

julia stiles???????

he meant julia child

is there a site on the Interwebs where I can upload a picture and they will do an FBI-type of aging process to it? I would like to cougar-fy some of my friends.

and REALLY no franka potente either (extra reference thrown in so mr que will get it) and now i do go to bed

hahahahaha creepy and awesome Don

we had one a while back that would make you look like a bunch of different things, I remember people using the "simian" option for maximum terrible!

found it!

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/

http://www.epa.gov/epaoswer/non-hw/reduce/catbook/images/tip6.gif

wet hardwood a specialty

Tom this is horrifying.

Tom thisKingfish that is horrifying.

waxin' mo-sheens for rent, cheap

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploads/phpEmQyss.jpghttp://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploads/phptkBUe4.jpghttp://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploads/phprbs1Np.jpg

YAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHH

WHO GAVE SNORG GIRL THE RING TAPE

That is fucking amazing.

who put the snorg in the morph snagorgnomorph

holy shit

Okay the apeman transformation is srsly the wrongest thing in the world.

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploads/phpwic0zv.jpg

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploads/phpyUhJzD.jpg

(Not that the baby one is much better.)

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploads/phpkTve0p.jpg

lolololol

sto p dude

You guys I don't have time to read the last 2 hours of this thread so sorry if it's been mentioned, but there's a special about cougars on Women's Entertainment channel right now.

is that channel 2 ?!??

I'm totally using that site in the political threads Tom. You. Rule.

I feel sad.

I'm overjoyed, except for the part that I'm lollzing alone instead of hunched over the computer in a dorm room with my bros while we transmorgify professors.

Also, cougar-fying one of my friends really turned out bad. At least it didn't make her look fat.

http://blog.wfmu.org/photos/uncategorized/2007/11/27/tyra_hair_flip_390_288.gif

oh shit, i thought you wrote "cougar-frying". I was thinking, "christ, that's an oral euphemism that's developed awful fast"

man all the morph pics already done disappearded

also if I ever saw a woman who was doing a dance based on that tyra gif Que posted I would definitely let her take me home

ok maybe I made that up

I've had this weird pulled muscle thing on my side for the past couple of days which makes it physically painful to laugh...in short, thanks a ton for this thread, assholes.

And I still can't get over the fact that a fellow human being would use the phrase "working his dong like rib". It keeps echoing in my mind like some particularly sinister mantra. Working his dong like rib, working his dong like rib...

dong-like rib

aw i wanna see the snorg-coug - does anyone have it?

reproduction

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/babysnorg.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/oldsnorg.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/monkeysnorg.jpg

gaaaah!

I wish curtis wasn't so helpful.

gaaaah!

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 15:49 (14 seconds ago)

dan's is worse

I work at a LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY that has a Cougar as a mascot. Every spring is an event called "mom's weekend" where all the mothers come to campus to visit their kids.

There are many legends and tales about this event related to how much partying the moms do - stories about big increases in condom sales, about guys stumbling through the piles of Busch Lite cans in their frats to find their moms coming downstairs, makeup smudged, suburban-mom-hair dented, stuff like that. Basically how all the visiting moms are slutty and unhinged.

I imagine most of these are apocryphal but it actually made me wonder if this might be where the phrase "cougar" came from. Also, obviously, there are no such stories associated with dad's weekend in the fall.

Dan's is lost in the mists of time, sadly.

bunch of motherfuckers at your school huh

coug genesis

coug ground zero

garden of cougden

the 18th cougmaire

Dan's neanderthal and baby pics were genius, though. Those need to come back.

coug big bang

http://startrekccg.fanhq.com/Resources/CardImages/ST2E11023.jpg

cunni...ing

urbandictionary's word of the day today:

manther

A male cougar. Single, usually divorced, and at a minimum 10 years older than a cougar.

He did not care if the youth laughed at his ragtop corvette that even at this age he could not afford, for he was manther.

ugh.

do not want

Manthers make jorts moist.

Yes, manthers moisten jorts. Yes, yes, they do.

I hate you.

Manther & The Coug

A new sitcom, coming this Fall... on FOX.

I like that manthers must be 10 years older than cougars to deserve their own label, and presumably the shame and derision that goes with it.

wow I am rapidly approaching manther status guys

http://www.lookatmeshirts.com/products_pictures/jarts_s.jpg

i don't know, at least with these big-cat terms, weird as they are, hetero couplings seem to avoid the whole creepy familial daddy / son imagery that popularizes characterizes most gay intergenerational pairings.

(even though 'manther' seems to be a sugardaddy w/o the sugar.)

Manther, manther
Manther, manther
No no no
He does not want to depress you
Oh no no no no no
He only wants to impress you
Oh..

Manther in jorts
He only wants to embrace your culture
And to be your friend forever
Forever

Manther, manther
Manther, manther
Oh, shelve your cougar plans
And understand
That life is moist enough when you belong here

A silver-studded rim that glistens
And an ankle-star that ... blinds me
A lemon sole so very high
Which only reminds me; to tell you
Break the news gently
Break the news to him gently
Shelve your plans; shelve your plans, shelve them

Manther, manther
Its the touchy march of time that binds you
Dont blame me
Dont hate me
Just because Im the one to tell you

That life is moist enough when you belong here
That life is moist enough when you belong here
Oh...
Shelve your cougar plans
Oh...
Shelve your cougar plans
cause life is moist enough when you belong
Life is moist enough when you belong here
Oh...
Shelve your cougar plans
Oh...
Shelve your best friends
cause life is moist when you belong here
Oh...
Life is moist enough when you belong

http://www.esreconvilier.net/UserFiles/Image/Applause.gif

how old til they're cougars proper?

-- bell_labs, Tuesday, November 27, 2007 5:40 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

a survey of friends and bartenders says 40 at the youngest

and also, that cougars are "awesome"

buhhh

anybody up for some kenpo practice tomorrow

Think I might start with happy hour @ gordon biersch in the marriott downtown

ian says he got hit on by lots of them when he worked at barnes & noble in park slope

by cougars or manthers?

while I find gay intergenerational pairings generally icky, I may have to expand the 'pool' youngerwise if I ever date again, as too many men my age are taken or impotent (and soon, dead).

morbius living up to his root adjective

intergenerational pairings are fine i guess and i've known a few very happy, stable couples who are very disparate in age.

morbs, just don't post an online ad like "baseball enthusiast daddy wants son to play catch with" or any such creepy nonsense

wow I am rapidly approaching manther status guys

last "relationship" i was in was with someone who was 8 years younger than me. if it weren't for the fact that i'm outrageously immature it never would've lasted more than a month.

oh, but if you're in your early/mid 30's and coming out of a horrible, foundation-shaking breakup from a longterm relationship i wholly suggest dating a 25 year old.

isn't it supposed to be half your age plus 7?

I can't imagine dating someone below 21

xpost, GOOD ADVICE

xp: elmo, absolutely no danger of that

My combination of nearing middle-agedom plus general adult developmental stuntedness means that I am screwed, unless I exploit my younger looks and fool a "cougar" into thinking that I am in my mid-twenties...IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY!!!

dell otm

now all I need to do is find out which bars marg helgenberger hangs out at

i'm not at all convinced that the phenomenon of gross old men wanting to hook up with young women is novel enough to warrant snappy new slang.