ILX Fag-O-Tron Interface Module

(i thought it was time for a new gay thread.)

They're all gay threads.

they'll all have "fag" in them, apparently

the this thread title refer to the "butthole" ?

thx,
a straight

favorite use of fag:

(a) to work until exhausted
(b) somebody's bitch at a British public school
(c) cigarette
(d) derogatory term for a homosexual
(e) bundle of twigs

my fag fag stole me fags to light a fag and now i'm too fagged to follow after?

no, jho, but thanks for the segue:

i hearty endorse njoy products.

fag-o-tron is just a term me and the b/f have taken to using; companion term is lesbionic.

I though I was the only person who said Lesbionic!!!

Exctiting!

A bundle of twigs is a faggot, if we're being picky, as is a meatball made of pork offal.

v nice title Elmo!

i like the title too.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s120/manstanding/golden.jpg

the boy and i talked last night about the whole relationship thing, briefly. we both agreed that we're not in the market for that at the moment... but it seemed that we both want to keep on being with each other when we can.

it's sort of liberating. and sort of... gosh. i might be a bit smitten, though it might be because he's the first who has ever been tender. one of the reasons it took a while for me to come out was because all the other guys i'd ever slept with were drunken assholes or...well, they took advantage of me while i was drunk, and i would have never slept with them otherwise. as in, it was not good, and not tender. more like disgusting.

Boo.

Squee!

Squee?

Squeeeesh!

Squee! This is the last day of class (well, finals week is next week) which means that guy that I have theoretically started whatevering will actually get to spend some time in person together! Like, tonight. Or, even, this afternoon.

Oops, left out a few words there. Insert and "and I" somewhere.

OK, I cannot type properly. I need breakfast and coffeeeeeeee.

oh, we know what you need...!

squeeze my lemon until the juice runs down my leeegggg.......

http://www.johnlewis.com/jl_assets/product/230227876.jpg
http://www.naturalcollection.com/fckupload/Image/lemon-squeeze-small(4).jpg

Well, I got breakfast and coffee and a good heaping helping of whatever Morbs was referring to. So that was nice.

Y'all read baseball trivia books for an hour?

No, Japanese grammars. It all works out the same in the end.

companion term is lesbionic.

-- elmo argonaut

i use lesbotronic

!!!

-- gershy, Monday, December 3, 2007 10:06 PM (Monday, December 3, 2007 10:06 PM) Bookmark Link

I could've won a free pair of tix to see John Waters do his lecture/Q&A in Asbury Park, but not even Waters is enough to get me on a train to the Jersey Shore on a Friday night in December.

Keeping busy, Chris?

Well, it is finals week.

hey guys, have you heard about this thing called "the prostate"???

lol, are the quotation marks significant?

it is still a relatively new concept for me, at least in application.

Adorable!

i was always aware of its existence, i was just unaware of its implications.

I won't even wear contact lenses, so I've never thought much about mine.

I was hoping this thread was about running certain ILX'ers through an orgasmatron.

Elmo, is this an area us right-foooters could also explore?

I WILL RUN YOU THROUGH WITH MY ORGASMOTRON

http://davidszondy.com/future/Dystopias/orgasmatron.jpg

Left to right: Casuistry, Dr Morbius, Elmo

Mark, let me respond to your question with another question:

Have you ever heard of the "Bend Over Boyfriend" video titles?

I know straight, married guys who love to be their wives' back door men.

Wait. No. Love for their wives to be their back door men.????

http://www.remyc.com/ExcessiveMachine.jpg

That picture restores my faith in humanity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5Jo1I4XXc

Fonda fonda fonda

exciting

I can't believe no one has asked me for a pic of the duder in my life.

pic plz

No, no, it's too late now.

Oh ok...

http://web.pdx.edu/~cp/ilx/david2.jpg

which means that guy that I have theoretically started whatevering will actually get to spend some time in person together

Lord help me, I read that as 'in prison together' and thought, "Well now, that's excitable."

I can't believe no one has asked me for a pic of the duder in my life.

-- Casuistry, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:00 PM (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

U BRAGGIN

also lol at elmo not being wise to the prostate

Ned is exactly as much of a perv as one thinks he is.

Astounding, etc.

what's that say on the photo?

Dude kinda has a Matthew Broderick thing about him, Caus.

Oh let me find out... it's in Russian.

I guess he sorta does, especially in that pic, although you probably wouldn't think so in real life.

Other pic:

http://web.pdx.edu/~cp/ilx/david3.jpg

Hopefully I'll have some of, like, us together at some point.

anyone mind if i post this....?

http://bp0.blogger.com/_HvHOmoFS87s/R0tCLp3hkqI/AAAAAAAADWs/Hpe87wbLqPY/s1600-h/edward_1.jpg

:(

http://bp0.blogger.com/_HvHOmoFS87s/R0tCLp3hkqI/AAAAAAAADWs/Hpe87wbLqPY/s1600-h/edward_1.jpg

aw fuck

well just look here:

http://jdvision.blogspot.com/2007/11/edward-l.html

shostakovich glasses!

(kinda)

also, YOWZA

Kinda!

jed, what is that?

just some gay blog of pretty boys.

The slang on the Russian is next to impossible for me to figure out -- the second word is probably "killer", the first might be something along the lines of "masturbation".

...um, be careful?

Adoooooorable guy Cas.

is he mail order?

No, it turns out it means "a real fucker". Somehow.

Also, he is from the suburbs of Portland.

playing to his love of long underwear, for christmas i am getting my boyfriend a one-piece red union suit. i find the idea of the seat flap... provocative.

well done, Cas! Are those prescrip glasses?

Cute duder Cas

On the topic of union suits, my mother in a Christmas gift frenzy gave my boyfriend and I matching union suits with our names embroidered on the chest; it sez "Drew" and "Martin" like we were Civil War era car mechanics or something . . .

Civil War era car mechanics

Long overdue remix album title right there.

you guys need to do a show in those suits.

it seems that the seat opening these days are just buttoned vertical openings, not the old two button flap. disappointing.

What manner of access do they provide?

I believe "easy access" would be the correct answer.

btw, if Stevie D hasn't vanished, there's another NYC Blowout dance this Sat. I spose I could email him...

Does everyone think Jodie Foster has come far out enough?

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2007/12/homoquotable-jodie-foster.html

I mean, I don't think any of us have had to alert the media.

I'm tipsy enough to not understand if there might be an ironic subtext to what you wrote, but I find JF's quote heartwarming.

Oh, I think she is still officially "straight". I think that was what Morbs was getting at. I could be wrong.

She's only officially "straight" if you consider heterosexuality the default and coming-out statements necessary to move away from this default. (AFAIK, she's made no statements of any kind re her sexuality.)

best...sex...ever.

on saturday afternoon, after i helped him move all his keyboards and mixers from a friend's apartment.

roommate walks in the second after our clothes are on again.

;-)

cas, in one picture he looks like this gorgeous but totally insane guy here. his insanity is kind of hard to describe, but here's his myspace page:

http://myspace.com/caldersmusic

and yeah, he is only 17. kind of weird.

That doesn't have a pic of him. Also I am hardly going to suggest that duduer isn't insane.

"Duduer" is terrible.

I just saw a sign for confectionery saying VERY TASTY NUT BARS and instantly thought of this thread.

I have a ball sack in my bedside drawer.

(it contains little plastic balls with pictures of cyclists in them. Does this means anything to anyone else, or is it an Italian thing?)

A Mathematical Equation Calculating the Current State of Gay New York, by Mark Allen:

http://www.markallencam.com/?p=187

hello!

how was everyone's weekend? i didn't get as much done as i would have liked, but it was good nonetheless.

it's soooooooo nice and gray out

does not compute

i have a lunch date with my boss and a guy he "wants me to meet" today. hmm.

bizarre??

i woke up and it was like misty everywhere, so cool

why is your bossman fixing you up?

dunno! he has not uttered the word "date" except in the context of "lunch date" so i'm not construing it as such, but we'll see how it goes, i guess

maybe it's a professional networking thing

maybe it's a quick shag thing.

It's nice and grey here too, but my office STILLLLLL has no heat, so I'm not enjoying it so thoroughly. And we are in the midst of a 4 day on-and-off ice storm.

hopefully xp

oooh yeah i heard an ice storm was a comin here

It's awful. Saturday I had to try to walk on the solid sheets of ice on the sidewalk after ti many martoonis. Skeery.

that IS scary

I barely left the house all weekend.

lucky, that's the kind of weekend i wanted

so that was nice.

spill

nothing terribly eventful. boss took us to an indian place, made a brief pit stop into this store on university place that sells lots of neat bric-a-brac on the way back to work, walked to subway together, slightly awkward goodbye ensued, and now here i am

but what the hell was it supposed to be? romantic set-up? professional set-up? is your boss gay? is he young?

why is he playing matchmaker?

not sure how to articulate how, but your boss' involvement i find slightly... unsettling.

i don't think it was meant to be anything other than a pleasant lunch date, i couldn't detect an ulterior motive if there was one

fwiw i'm fairly close to my boss, i've known him for about five years now

ah. well who was the guy? was he cute? sparks?

that being said, i liked talking to the guy and am mulling over asking out for a drink later this week. couldn't hurt yeah?

no it couldn't! do it!

he was dressed all in white, btw (jeans/converse/shirt/sheepskin vest)

ugh that's so hot. i love winter white

"Gays have in general made a disproportionately greater contribution to life than nongays. The creative gay has very much advanced Planet Earth.

“The playfulness of childhood is continued with certain people into adulthood. This is very much a positive. Adult playfulness means that certain people, often a fairly large proportion of them gay, are more inventive and curious than heterosexuals.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article3022254.ece

And then there are, you know, gay real estate brokers.

I have a date with a Republican.

-- Jesse, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 3:04 PM (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

surely it didn't turn out well.

Well, so that didn't last.

What are we talking about?

I have a date with a Republican tomorrow.

What didn't last?

Oh, I was talking about me, not you.

sorry Cas. I always go with the jinx that I never mention anything to anybody til, oh, 6 months pass.

Oh, good luck then.

Oh, sorry.

I go through men like Kleenex, so I mention them while I've got them.

I am pretty sure the Republican won't last long at all. In fact we talked about it and pretty much said that we'll have fun, dates, drinks, and sex until we get on each others' nerves due to politics.

Wait, isn't a gay Republican just totally contradictory? (I'm Aussie, I'm making assumptions about your right-wingers)

there was some special prgoram on about "gay republicans" a couple of years ago i think

i missed it

lol @ Jesse seeking attention re: his Republican date

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Log_Cabin_Republicans

he's gonna get a log in his cabin

some of the most 'famous' Republicans are gay, especially this year.

I go through men like driver's licenses.

Yeah, I should have known better. But he was very convincing. Also, clearly, he didn't know what he was doing. Which I knew. So. Dumb me.

I've often been confused with a Republican. And gay.

My life has recently had an influx of Republicans, mostly gay. And then there was fucking Morrissey's recent comments....what's wrong with fags today?

Everyone's Republican around Christmastime.

playing to his love of long underwear, for christmas i am getting my boyfriend a one-piece red union suit. i find the idea of the seat flap... provocative.

I love this!

long underwear makes my legs feel colder, if anything.

too stuffy for me

When waiting tables long underwear made me overheat. Now that I have an office job I might try again, particularly since we won't have heat for about 10 more days (except space heaters).

you needed a trap door

I actually become more of a bomb-tossing Trotskyite around Christmastime.

Everyone's a bomb-tossing Trotskyite around Christmastime.

Tell me a story.

SO there's this new boy i've been seeing!

Details.

Cut to the chase: Pics.

His name's Chr1s and he's totally not my type at all. I met him through a sort-of-friend, and we sort of hung out a bit at parties, and then I IM'd him one day about this campus thing he was doing, and we got to talking

and then it turns out he has work (he's taking 2 semesters off to work FT) in the same building I had my video class--where I pull allnighters when I have projects due--and it was the next day, and we were IMing, and we find this out and he offers to come by and visit!! Which marks the first time we'd ever hung out just us w/o tons of drunk people around. And it was pleasant!! We chilled til like 5am and he showed me his office and we made coffee and lol'd and had a pleasant time

Now, this was a month and 3 days ago, and we started hanging out. A lot. In fact since then, I'd say we've hung out 75% of the days between then and now. Most often, we'll go get food and go back to either his house or (usually) mine, where we'll put a blanket down over the floor and have a picnic and watch Veronica Mars (we've since gotten through all 22 40-minute episodes of season 1 and 1/3 through season 2) and we make goofy comments about it and laugh and hang out and stuff.

I'm terribly flirty with him. And he's said some pretty flirty things too. But the problem is I truly think he's Just Not That Into Me. He doesn't like when i touch him, like when my feet touch his or when I wrestle with him or whatever. It's ridiculous. He's also a virg and I think he might not know how to act around other gay boys, or that he thinks I'm just being my extremely goofy self and don't really like him. I mean, we've talked about people we have crushes on and he knows I like the beary type (which he totally is not) and he likes the not-me-ish type.

But I like him so fucking much. Like, I really, REALLY want to do something with him. But am afraid if I do, and he doesn't go for it (or even worse, thinks i'm goofing or something and gives me that whole "what are you doing?!" bit!!!!!), it'll be too weird and we won't chill anymore and it'll be over. Which I really, REALLY don't want.

So uh, what do I do?

We've done a lot of stuff "just friends" don't do, like we went to a club in NYC (which we never got into and lol'd about going to NYC to ride the trains), he's let me unzip his hoodie and lift up his shirt to see his belly, we do light pillowfighty stuff sometimes, but nothing like whatever.

My housemates and friends are all fed up with me going on and on about it but not doing anything. But every time I try to get physical (brushing feet/wrassling/etc) he doesn't go for it. I'm way too terrified to just kiss him. Although I've pondered having a few beers and just being like "Look, I really like you a lot. Can I kiss you?"

PS since when do nonfags post here?

As always, my suggestion is to not lie to people unless you really really have to. And I tend to think that not telling someone you're crushing on them is a form of lying. Especially if, like, he is gay and hanging out with you all the time.

But if, in fact, he doesn't like you that way, then he needs to learn how to deal with a friend who is getting over a crush. And you're not doing him any favors by not letting him practice on you. Of course, he might not be, uh, aware enough to realize this... but he won't start being aware until you tell him, etc.

Also, since always. Also, I mean, it's Ned.

Astounding.

Also, I've been aggressively flirty with him, but he hasn't reciprocated at all!! The only inference I have of his liking me is him simply not responding negatively to it!!! He does it in a way that doesn't dis/encourage it at all. He's never actually done anything all that flirty back.

Not telling someone you have a crush on them isn't dishonest at ALL! Especially if I'm totally fine functioning simply as friends.

And so how do I go about telling him or making a move? I mean, I can't AIM him for chrissake.

If you're fine functioning as friends and don't think he's likely to return the crush and would freak out about it, then get over the crush. And in that case, yeah it's not all that dishonest.

But he's young and inexperienced and may not even know what he wants, or what to do about it, and even if he does like you, he might not realize that you obviously like him back. Or, he might just not be into you in that way.

Anyway, you tell him by saying, "Hey, by the way, I have a crush on you." Then if he says "I have one on you too", well, you can figure it out from there. If he says "Oh, uh... I'm sorry", then you act gracefully and say "that's ok, I didn't think you were crushing on me. I'll get over it. Hey, let's watch some more Veronica Mars!" And if he says something that doesn't tell you how he feels... well, just drop it for a while, I guess.

Because at the very least, it's flattering, right?

may not even know what he wants

otmfm.

but i uh knew that already

My only advice is: don't drink before you tell him!

oh god, why?

Well, you won't stop talking about it if it goes badly, for one thing.

Yes, drinking will make it easier to tell him, but harder to STOP telling him.

I dunno, I find it's easier to be a coward when drinking - if I need to have A Talk with someone I've got to be sober. The other reason is because even a couple of beers make me forget the nuances of the conversation and I'm left second guessing how it all went.

PS since when do nonfags post here?

Uh, hello :)

STEVO'S BACK!!!

i always find i'm more honest about these sorts of things the day AFTER i get wasted (and i mean wasted, not just a little drinky), as guilt about the night before tends to make me a better person... right now i'm feeling super honest. what a night.

and Stevie, i think you should just tell the boy. worst thing that could happen: he could totally freak out. but it doesn't seem like that will happen-- he likes you too much.

what happened?? what a night what??

oh and btw:

I FINISHED COLLEGE ON MONDAY.

almost didn't finish-- n!ck (the boy) and i nearly slept through the alarm, but then he woke me up quite nicely.

oh. what happened: drinking. scrapings of E. excessive droney banjo playing. about half a gram of keef.

nothing too exciting. since sunday/monday.

wait now wait, is nick the bearded one?

that sounds like a fun night!!

What is keef?

pot concentrate

jesse, kif is a term for the very thc-potent 'hairs' that grow on the outside of the leaves -- they can be collected and smoked

well, it was fun last night, but i feel terrible today. plus n!ck's been working on papers constantly, but that ends in....21 minutes. and we're both leaving town tomorrow.

and yeah he is the bearded one.

YES. musically inclined ya?

omigod Charleston has the worst concentration of ugly gay boys vs inaccessible straight boys (tho' my friend insisted that the ones in the latter are "negotiable") in the country. The gay bars were appalling!

this is his band. spacy proggy disco fun.

http://teengirlfantasy.angelfire.com/teen23.gif

so great. are you coming to brooklyn?

i'll be in the city for a few days...the 30th til the 5th or 6th, probs.

shweet. congrats on your ongoing relationship thingy, sounds like a lot of fun!

:D it totally is. he feels similarly smitten at this point, i'm pretty sure.

fap in order? (tho, crap, january is "clean living" month for me)

(by which i mean limiting myself to a beer or two a night and quitting cigs)

lol clean living month!? you're the type of person that does this every like 6 months right?

I do it in October when I have all that TV baseball to watch at home.

HAH

(no)

(so joe will not be sprawled on a taxifull of laps in January?)

depends on whom the laps belong to, obv

hahaha

heh heh.

well, i'd be down for a fap. i've never been to one before!

okay, new thing: where to get tattoo? i am thinking either on my left 'breast', sort of right below the clavicle, or between the shoulder blades.

n!ck is getting this done on his chest over break-- a good one, i think.

that's hott.. lips parted or together though?

i don't know where toget one... wait what's the clavicle.

he's going to watch for a bit that he especially likes and take a screenshot before he goes.

nice

the real qn is what are YOU getting

(i'm a fan of tats i can see w/o the aid of the mirror so i say clavicle)

they're so sexy but i don't know if i could handle getting one

I don't really like them, but I don't hate them or anything. I just don't "get" them.

i just loooove tats and piercings on a man.

so do i.

the image that i want is lost, unfortunately....it is from a gay newspaper from the weimar era.

if i end up not being able to find it, then i'm going to get one of Albers' drawings from 'Poems & Drawings.'

both are things i could totally place on my body forever. but for completely different reasons.

(i am doing a reconnaissance for the weimar image tonight. thank god for the library)

you love everything on a man, surmounter

I'd only tattoo or pierce myself in hidden areas.

lol maybe so xp!

hidden area tattoos are good...

I just parsed eric's 'hidden areas' as 'hidden arse'

parsed

Remy, you're probably not alone.

1. Tell me about the Charleston gay "boys." The ones I saw were ugly, but NOT boys.

2. I got a new tattoo!! Pics someday soon.

wow, Alfred condeming bars somewhere besides Miami is quite a condemnation.

I am not leaving this Earth with anymore holes in me than I entered with, if I can help it.

1. Tell me about the Charleston gay "boys." The ones I saw were ugly, but NOT boys.

Most seem slow, deformed, and a bit embarrassed. It didn't help that the dive bar my friend and I hit had an awful carpet and lame karaoke. I performed "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" to wake up the joint and as a warning.

In gay bars I turn into John Simon.

(xpost)

There are a lot of redneck homos in the south, it's true. Sometimes it depends on the bar you go to. Seems like the clubbier spots attract younger, cuter guys, which is unfortunate, b/c I don't care for clubs and I love dives.

My favorite bar in NO was populated by septua- octo- and nano-genarians, both male and female, as well as some shady young guys. But the cuties that showed up were good people.

xp: "turn into"? hehehe

We went to another one downtown that was a little better: a converted French restaurant. The conversation improved too. What did not improve: accepting that all Charleston bars close at 2 am.

Haw, I read that last part as "We did not improve:"

What did not improve: accepting that all Charleston bars close at 2 am.

Get used to most of the rest of the nation! Be glad you're not in Arizona where they close at 12:45.

(Re: Tattoos: I am Cornelius Bear.)

I might get a few tattoos if I became an Ultimate Fighter, but that may not happen.

SO! He came over, we ordered pizza and watched more Veronica Mars, he got especially frisky with the pillows, but I STILL did nothing really. And then he left and I screamed "MOTHER FUCKER!" really loud in my empty house.

And then I hear a knock on the door

because he forgot his phone.

a sign, perhaps?

so he comes in and we find his phone and before we go we start play-fighting a bit and i almost had him, like, back against a wall, but not quite, and then started getting a bit 'excited' and stopped so he wouldn't see and then he left and I was even more frustrated with myself because today was to be the day I was leaving to go back home.

But then my mom called today and said she's coming tomorrow. Of course, we're hanging out again tonight.

And now I feel even more ready to tell him. I came pretty close last night a few times, but didn't, and now that I have yet ANOTHER chance i feel like i should. But since we wont' see each other for a few weeks, I don't know whether or not right now is good? If he doesn't go for it, it won't be as awkward because we'll have a few weeks where we don't see each other, but if he DOES go for it... what do we do? Do whatever tonight and then just stop until the middle of January?

It seems like not-the-best plan. ILX0Rz, I need ADVICE!!

Try or die, Stevie.

OK this just in!! We're getting a fistie of vodka for the two of us!!! So between 375ml of liquor and seven (7) 12-oz bottles of Yuengling lager, this could either be a very fun or a very unfun night.

Fuck that -- give'em a fistie.

TELL HIM.

Facts:

- You like him
- Until you do something, you will always be fretting like this
- If you tell him and he responds badly, you can move on
- If you tell him and he responds goodly, everyone wins

It's terrifying but you have to do it, and you have to do it now.

neither n!ck or i are leaving today... he got a weird 18 hour flu thing last night, and i got wasted with his friends. so neither of us are in the mood or the presence to leave. which means tonight should be nice and cuddly.

Autumn Almanac is right.

http://www.hogrockcafe.com/Nike%20Condom%20-%20Just%20Do%20It.jpg

but NOW--before I leave n3w brunsw1ck until the middle of January?? Should[n't] I wait 'til after break?

NO. Give him something to think about and miss.

what's worse -- waiting in agony through the break?

DO IT NOW OR YOU'LL BE MOANING AND MASTURBATING TOO MUCH TIL MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY.

sorry, i just needed to yell that.

but NOW--before I leave n3w brunsw1ck until the middle of January?? Should[n't] I wait 'til after break?

-- Stevie D, Friday, 21 December 2007 10:13 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

In agony? For how many weeks?

The whole reason you're suffering is you don't know what will happen. Even if you ask him and he says no, you'll know, and you can move on and enjoy the break.

I went through something frighteningly similar to you in the '90s (except it lasted 18 months and bloody crippled me), and one night I took the plunge. He said no, we remained good friends and -- most importantly -- I could move on.

I performed "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)"

So totally envious. The bar I do karaoke at only has "Sara Smile," I think.

i've been through similar things, too, stevie, and it makes it so much easier to just know.

Exactly. Worst case: He says no.

There is no worse case. Is there?

OK, if someone agrees to play strip scrabble with someone else, does that definitely mean they sort of like them?

o_O

Revised facts:

- If he wants to play strip Scrabble with you and likes you, BAM
- If he wants to play strip Scrabble with you and doesn't like you, cock tease

oh and i meant to ask, who is this n!ck? P!c?

Look at previous thread.

Fucker said "no" to strip-anything.

Wait, so you asked him?

you need to ask him about love, not scrabble

Yeah, confusing the issue won't help. Not wanting to play strip Scrabble probably means he just doesn't want to play strip Scrabble. I wouldn't be getting my gear off with anyone unless something had happened first.

And here I was thinking he asked Stevie to play strip Scrabble.

we're missing something here: how does one PLAY strip scrabble, exactly?

You remove the word you have just made, i.e. spelling PANTS means you remove your pants, spelling TOAD means you remove your toad, etc.

Oh that's better than my "remove something when your opponent makes a bingo" idea.

No- when one dude uses the "Qu" then that person gets to felate and/or be felated by his opponent. If you happen to spell "Queer" you may also opt for ano-digital manipulation.

scrabble needs more Qu

SOOO 3 beers and 3 screwdrivers later dot dot dot. I'm getting frisky and he's getting less defensive to my frisking. We'll see what goes down, no? If you'll excuse me, I have more Veronica Mars to watch.

ASK HIM. PLEASE ASK HIM. PUT YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR MISERY.

Also, a time will come when one of the following will come to pass:

1. it is more awful not to confront the issue than to do so (related: not knowing will be worse than knowing that he doesn't dig you)

2. you will get wasted and brave and believe you are speaking from your heart in a grand and eloquent way when in fact you are botching it something fantastic

3. you will continue to not talk to him about it, he will meet someone, and you will be S.O.L.

4. you will tell him. He will either feel the same way, hooray!; not feel the same way (str8, or not into you); or be a typical young guy who is still unsure of his sexual identity.

That about covers the possibilities I see, and the only right thing to do is end the misery by simply saying something. While you are not drunk.

xpost!

3 beers and 3 screw drivers:

ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!!!!!

Well said.

Thanks, but which part?

That whole big one that you did.

I thought at first you meant "ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!" which I hoped you do mean, for comedy's sake.

http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/9222/thumbsdowndk6.jpghttp://img520.imageshack.us/img520/9222/thumbsdowndk6.jpghttp://img520.imageshack.us/img520/9222/thumbsdowndk6.jpg
我是得不好!!!!!!!!

so i'm in st. louis, first of all. and i'm watching TV, which i don't do anymore. and there's this show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians?

Kim Kardashian and her mom are like both posing nude

PS what the fuck is this movie PS I Love You

Jesus TV is crazy

我是得很很很很很不好!!!!!!!!

EWW and what is Sunset TAn? it's like some show about girls wearing painted on t shirts? what?

now i can't change the channel cuz the guy on Sunset Tan is SOOOO CUUUUTE....

(For those of you playing along at home, Stevie is now telling the dude.)

http://thephoenix.com/secure/uploadedImages/The_Phoenix/Home_Entertainment/TV/RealTV_Sunset_Olly-Girls-an.jpg

okay he's much cuter than that but thats him

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER WHAT A FUCKING AWKWARD JERK COWARD ASSHOLE

i'm sorry do we have a picture of this asshole

Jesus, Surmounter!

wat! i need pixels

this is so miranda hobbes it isn't even funny.

he's just not that into me.

i'd hit it.

i tried to!!!

*horribly painful rimshot*

ok no puns there, fags

no no, he might be into you. but he looks like maybe he's afraid of himself. you know, like he doesn't wanna be too gay.

ur like an appetizer for him, right, and he's not sure if he's getting dinner yet

he basically totally ignores what I said and responds with "you should get some sleep"

that's the worst

"i love you so much"

"you're tired"

tila tequila's kinda cute

how helpful and relevant

i'm talking to you on the other thing i'm allowed to be stupid SOMEWHERE

This is as 'no' as you're going to get. Time to move on. Sorry to be harsh :(

did u guys know that "pasta alla puttanesca" means "pasta the way a whore would make it"

?

stop it, you sound just like HIM!!!!

i'm binging on screwdrivers and noshing on Pirouettes like they're going out of style.

And yes, I fully understand it's a "no". I told him I liked him, his awkward response was "i'm pretty awesome"; i counter with something witty, and he doesn't say anything for 10 minutes until i ask him if he's still alive, to which he responds "i think you've had a lot to drink, and should get some sleep."

I'm not so much fucking pissed that he doesn't reciprocate; i sort of assumed that already. I'm mad that he handled it so mother fucking HORRIBLY!!!!! MY GOD, who fucking says that??!?!? God forBID he actually, you know, grow a pair and, like, acknowledge anything I said??

It takes guts to do what you did. Seriously.

I don't mean this in a patronising way btw

i did it in the least gutsiest way possible: on AIM and slightly loose (but not drunk). Luckily it proved to be the least awkward. God only KNOWS what would have happened if I actually went straight for the kiss like I was thinking about.

So? You still did it, that's the important thing. Going for a snog might have landed you a blood nose. :)

I'm listening to an Optimo DJ set with a supremely bitchin' Neu! rework and dancing alone in my room. This is fun. But, uh, it could have been better.

Now go through that process 100 more times and you can be a bitter old queen like me or Morbs or whoever else on here. Yay!

i

hate

being

gay.

Straight people get rejected too.

I'm sorry it didn't turn out right Steve. He sounds baffling - is he one of these curious guys who run a mile once there's a chance of shit actually happening?

(Casuistry OTM, though. Very much so)

yeah casuistry is right

TIME

Er, I haven't been on the thread in a while, and what does this mean:

he got especially frisky with the pillows

It makes sense until you examine it too closely.

Stevie, you did all you can do and it's fine. It sounds like your pride is hurt, which is understandable. You may have a (SOBER) follow-up talk with him so that it's established that you really felt this way and it wasn't just a freak emotional outburst. Or you could leave it alone and pretend it never happened. I would say the former is the preferable course of action.

ya

Now go through that process 100 more times and you can be a bitter old queen like me or Morbs or whoever else on here.

WELL! (huffed a la Jack Benny) I consider myself more "tangy" than bitter.

I have gone thru that gauntlet a LOT less than 100 times -- maybe four or five -- becuz, tho i'm not a big Joni fan, I always thought and if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away was sound reasoning. Love fades, you know!

oh i don't know. i mean what does that mean? that means -- play emotional games and don't be real.

when i was courting my boyfriend, he was very hesitant to commit at first. but after a gazillion pillow fights and trips to the library and little kisses BLA BLA BLA, i said LISTEN that's it, we're getting it on, sealing the deal, making this real.

i'd rather go with nic cage from Adaptation. "it doesn't really matter who loves you back, as much as knowing who you love." okay i know i butchered it but there ya go.

altho yes playing hard to get etc is oft wise. BUT DEFINITELY NOT ALWAYS

btw melrose place is aamzing. these guys are completely hot. i mean the women are beautiful too.

I'm not advocating hard-to-get. I'm advocating it's-almost-never-worth-it.

I wouldn't expect anybody in a couple to agree with me -- at least, I hope not -- but that's just my personal algebra. Or as O.W. said, “A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.”

very jane austen.

Maude wouldn't like it.

I just said that to see how you'd react, Morbs. Also, that Jack Benny comparison is frightfully OTM. Also also, people are notoriously bad at not giving themselves away, perhaps.

The O.W. thing doesn't work if she loves him, though. Or at least, based on my attempts at putting that theory into practice.

can we talk about the White Diamonds commercial -- you know Liz Taylor's perfume. Where she takes off her diamond earrings, tosses them on the table and says "These have always brought me luck"

i thought that commercial died with my 15th year of life??? but i just saw it

Hmm... "tangy queen" just has certain connotations, no?

And in response to Straight people get rejected too.
Yes, they do, but you see when a straight guy and a straight girl hang out as much as we did and act the way we did and do the things we did, there's a much much stronger indication that it's a guy trying to mack it. Where as with two guys, you know, there's always that possibility that they're just being friends and are just hanging out like two guys (as I have so painfully learned).

I don't know that Liz ad ... but it's almost as dicey as running one with a deceased star.

Chris, we should form a club of people under 50 who know who Jack Benny was.

Nope, you're still wrong, Stevie. In those cases, at least one of the guys is probably trying to mack it.

Morbs, can we discuss Gracie Allen ran for president in 1940 in this club? Because that's all I've ever really wanted from a club, was to discuss Gracie Allen's presidential run in it.

Also, stick a "how" in there. I need to go get some breakfasts.

wow i didn't know they had black people on melrose place. rhonda is totally fierce.

I can't imagine you're actually in St. Louis to watch tv? I mean I hear the options aren't exactly thrilling, but...

i KNOW... well i'm waiting for my aunt to get off work and we're gonna go shopping.

but i have to tell you, TV is absolutely thrilling.

is anyone else into commercials?

YES.

=P

No, based on my 4 days there this summer, I get the St. Loo TV watching.

xp Of course we can, Chris -- I forgot all about that radio stunt!

Maxwell House is really moving me right now.

okay so today, i'm buying:
Mary J Blige new record
Richard Thompson stuff
wat was the other thing:

i don't know now i'm temporarily blinded by all the white skin on this one tree hill show

Sur, I somehow never pegged you as a Richard Thompson fan.

love the man. i mean there's some weird chemical reaction i have to that voice.

oh right: beyonce, alicia keys and JT's last album even though i will never get behind sexy back the single.

maybe some trisha yearwood.

This isn't going to help anyone's situation, but I hang out with straight guys all the time. I love it. I never for an instant mistake camaraderie for a spark of bi-curiosity on their part. This is a mistake you just don't need to make.

That's generally true of me, too. But it kinda sounds like Stevie & friend were engaging in stuff that could easily be mistaken for more-than-camaraderie.

it's still fun to flirt with the straights though. i mean eeven if u both know it's nothing, you can both flirt =P

Also, has this guy declared that he is just straight? I thought that was up in the air, besides the mistake of assuming str8 as a default (heteronormativity, anyone?).

i feel like i'm at Vassar again...

Well, the friend was openly gay. That's how we started talking, really. "oh, you're gay, no way! So am I!" blah blah blah.

Maybe I've conditioned myself to feel this way, but not even flirting strikes me as much fun.

(x-post) oh, my mistake.

I should read the whole thread, but I do have to go to work tomorrow.

OH.... Well in that case Stevie, it sounds like this guy is being flakey and a prick tease. He needs to nut up and speak his mind/heart. You both do.

Eric, the only relevant nugget that's not already dated: Casuistry and I are bitter old queens.

Flirting always has to mean something to be fun.

i don't know, i have this couple friend and my friend matt, i mean he's OBV a straight boy with a girl and everything. but he's totally cute and fun to flirt with!

I enjoy flirting when it doesn't mean ANYTHING or when it definitely means something. It's when it's a grey area and means something to one party and not anything to the other that it's awful.

YES

Man, we're really figuring it ALL out today aren't we?

Well then it's always awful for me because I never mean it.

I sort of feel like I've been the guy Stevie was shot down by multiple times without ever meaning any harm. It's sort of why I find it more difficult to hang around with gay guys than with straight ones.

And by "multiple times," I really only mean twice or thrice.

so u just like flirt a lot and act all sexy and stuff, but then when your pal's ready to skip to the dip you're all BACK OFF!!?

=P

This line of conversation is going to back me into a narcissistic corner pretty soon.

hahaha well it only matters if ur cute

Most of my flirting is with str8 boys, that's how I know it doesn't mean anything on either side. I only flirt w/ the gay ones if I really want them or if I know neither of us want the other. More likely the latter.

straights are so cute when they like us.

they're so demonic when they don't.

ummm... yea i need more straight men in my life.

we give you permission to be narcissistic, Eric. It's the Fag-O-Tron thread.

I haven't consulted Webster, but I think lack of serious ends makes it faux flirting.

NOOOO! the very definition of flirting is casual!

You're right, mea culpa! What's the behavior called when you're serious, tho?

1: to move erratically : flit
2 a: to behave amorously without serious intent b: to show superficial or casual interest or liking <flirted with the idea>; also : experiment <a novelist flirting with poetry>

What's the behavior called when you're serious, tho?

Desperate.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha yuppers

okay so i thought i was like 150 lbs but i'm only 144! that's really exciting. i think i loook my best at 139ish, so. yah.

What are you, 5'4"?

you better be, or we are hating you over Christmas cookies.

I need to gain something like 15 pounds before I probably look my best.

i'm 5'11" duders! believe me i can't stop eating cookies and cheese either, i thought i was pushing 160!!

eric post a pic

This isn't going to help anyone's situation, but I hang out with straight guys all the time. I love it. I never for an instant mistake camaraderie for a spark of bi-curiosity on their part. This is a mistake you just don't need to make.

Most of my best friends are straight guys, and while none are bi-curious, they like to THINK they are, which creates a nice frisson.

I believe one can have a sexless relationship, but sex is always a factor (or the FEAR of sex), mitigating or otherwise.

i can't stop eating cookies and cheese either

OK, *now* you're vile!

Sur, haven't you witnessed the across-the-Kinsey-scale swooning when a certain gayLXor posts one of his calculatedly butch pics?

hahaha yes yes i know.

i feel like posting a pic soon, but i have to do my makeup first

Cheating! au naturel only

don't be ridiculous!

Me at Fort Sumter on Saturday, my gun sheathed.

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/Charleston013.jpg

Here's my least butch pic that found its way on a WDYLL thread past.

http://a629.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/14/l_a949c280711eda1d7ad3f34646ac085c.jpg

Alfred, you do look ...shifty.

gay people always have something to hide.

http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v150/143/88/8844225/n8844225_37431646_470.jpg

wearing a weird hat making a weird face in Chinese class.

it was a strawberry. It had a green stem at the top.

=P gay peeps are secretive huh?

all of a sudden now i can't upload pics. ALL OF A FUCKING SUDDEN.

stop listening to Kristen Hersh.

UGH i wish i had a kristin record with me. i was in such a rush packing.

this thread exploded while my boss and i killed a man by the name of sangiovese in his office. (=mmm)

sorry to hear about yr dude, stevie. but at least you did something, i've had lingering crushes for years that i haven't done anything about. which is maybe why i'm approaching morbius-levels of WHTVS re: gays in general. and why like alfred and eric i tend to mostly have straight male friends. hey we're coming full circle to the first gay thread aren't we.

hi joe!!

That's the problem with the gay ones, they always explode when you're not looking.

and wth do you mean u killed a man?????? a hot man?

omgosh stevie why is that so right

i just had a good dinner but am now kind of bored. BORED I tell you.

what should i see:

charlie wilson's war, or atonement??

i just wanna see julia roberts with that ridonculous dye-job

CWW is only 90 minutes and has James Mc-Hottie.

er, CWW is only 90 minutes vs 2-hours-plus of McHottie.

whoo? was it good? how's jules?

I'm judging the former solely on, heh, length.

well it's lookin like we're gonna do it.

but i mean rly, does this look very natural to you?

http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/photos/charliewilsonswar/charliewilsonswar3.jpg

it looks like the blond was painted on her head

as natural as a stag trophy.

well the times bloody loved it

that was good but honestly her hair didn't look any more real on the fucking screen.

Three pictures? That was a sorry roundelay of gay wdyll.

(Of course, mine was recycled, so what do I expect.)

sorry i tried to do mine. i liked urs but have seen it before!

i can put up an old pic

or a dirty pic? but no if i become a congressman that wouldn't be good

we want dicks.

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/rrawn/suit.jpg

blurry and old but me

awww my old bag! i threw that out. i loved having a red bag. now it's all black.

curtis don't u think i know what everone wants? i left those pix at home.

i was taking that picture cuz some guy wanted to meet up with me, you know like from the internet. i had an event that day so i had to bail.

this was around teh same time, around the time i was having this awfully dramatic affair in my life. my skin looks good

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/rrawn/board.jpg

there ya go =P

ppl need to not have lives on friday nights when i don't, that's just wrong

devil wears prada was on today. i went to college with that anne hathaway. she had nice skin.

mm Surmounter call me.

i don't speak on the phone after 10pm for religious reasons.

Oh, this thread.

a cute guy muscled in on the darts game i had going with my friend tonight. we played until "100" and then ended with an awkward goodbye and that was it. good times!

shoulda gotten his number!

well, um, yeah. the "awkward goodbye" part ensured that that wasn't happening, is the thing

Did you let him win?

we were evenly matched in terms of awfulness, but he won regardless. i was just doing my thing, letting darts hit where they may

oh... i usually go with the awkwardness until it's really just sweet, and then i get what i want.

So... the awkwardness was when you darted him in the crotch?

wat do we think of william hurt

...and then poured his drink on his head, yeah.

he fucked sandrine bonnaire, so that has to count for something

i'd take it.

I'd take Mlle. Bonnaire.

lol

he's in some movie on TV with a GORGEOUS younger sigourney weaver.

so there's a guy i'm thinking of hooking up with

he's cute in that nerdy way, you know, kind of like, i don't know, a nerd. an artsy one. um, yeah, he's skinny. and his bulge seems big.

that's it i think.

aweyeah.jpg

he's in some movie on TV with a GORGEOUS younger sigourney weaver.

oh that's Eyewitness. I liked his earring in The Big Chill.

stevo

SHOPPING!!!

okay, was driving most of the day yesterday. news bits:

-- n!ck and i went out to brunch yesterday, then i drove him to the airport and after we kissed goodbye i got back in the car and almost had to pull off the motherfucking highway because arthur russell's 'a little lost' came on the ipod and i'm a goddamn baby and miss him sooooo much already. urgh.

-- stevie, that sucks. but it sort of sounds like he might be...a...well, a huge asshole. i would say yes to another in-person hangout where you clarify things a bit, just to make sure.

-- i watch Law & Order, Nip/Tuck and Project Runway every week. so yes, talk to me about television and how fucking insane this country is.

two photos. one more...well, naked than the other.

http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v160/23/91/4302681/n4302681_30814866_9653.jpg

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v160/23/91/4302681/n4302681_30814867_9894.jpg

and stevie, just in case you were too lazy to go to the old fag thread, this is nick, helping friend Tasha dj a party.

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v166/219/52/1380300316/n1380300316_30208791_3581.jpg

Surmounter, get a snapshot of the guy's bulge.

or a flavor profile

friend Tasha looks fab!!

I'd date Tasha.

i would if she had a mouth

lol at that one, elan.

Tasha is fab, i LOVE dancing with her. as does nick.

ur nick is SO CUTE! that treasure trail is too good. and look at how cuet u look in ur pics! we need a pic of y'all together soon.

i just got great haircut!

i can post a bulge pic in a bit... i mean not my bulge, obv.

yeah, i am actually JUST out of the frame in the pic of him there.

*sigh*

these next six weeks are going to be very very hard.

i bet u guyz have really good giggles together. you'll be fine! just keep in touch over the phone.

It's fine to post pics of your own bulge.

here's the rub:
it seems as though we're both ready to start a more exclusive relationship once he gets back from LA-- as in, though neither of us have been fooling around with anyone else since we started up, there was that whole conversation about not being exclusive for the time being.

but six weeks and no dick? i mean, i'd totally save it for him if i knew what was gonna happen, but since i don't, i feel sort of stuck.

we do have many giggles...hell, the first time we ever talked, we laughed about ABBA videos for a good twenty minutes. that's how i knew we'd get together at some point.

haha jess... maybe i SHOULD, and shock u all.

my aunt and i might go tanning tomorrow.

well look, it sounds like ur both into the relationship idea, whether or not u wanna tag it with exclusivity. if you need some play, just be careful and discreet -- i feel like, would he really care if you got off before he gets back?

ABBA videos must be a blast =P

also, post pics of haircut, sur. i am getting one next week at this silly hipster salon because i don't have clippers and all my friends who cut well are nowhere near me. anyway, instead of going for the look of the little boy in Jeux Interdits, which can be found here, i am going for the short in the back and sides, longer on the top look.

I would not be shocked. Unless shock is what you're going for, in which case, OMG I'd be sooo shocked!

If someone I was into at that level did something w/ someone else while we were apart for 6 months it would at the very least be something to...have to deal with. It might not lead to the end of the relationship, but it would certainly not make things any easier. Also it would be really cool to know that we both held off.

Would you volunteer the information? Would you/he ask?

I can't even imagine remembering a time where six weeks without sex seemed like, you know, remotely a problem. Or, where six weeks seemed like a particularly long period of time.

if we were talking six months, i'd be dying right now.

but since it's six weeks, i just feel heartsick but a little conflicted.

i think unless something great comes along or i do something stupid, i'll hold off.

Maybe talk openly about it!

I am wasting my 20s.

You are wasting yours and everyone else's 20s.

and cas, you're right. it's just that i'm 23 years old...and for lack of a better term, full of cum. i mean, n!ck and i have had sex many times in one night. so..yeah.

so...holding off is my decision, pretty much.

Gahhhh. It's Saturday night and all my friends are either out of town or at Christmas events. And I'm broke. WOE IS ME.

And I'm filled with appetites of the flesh.

I have to go to a Xmas dinner hosted by friends. I'd like to stay home and watch Jezebel. Wanna trade?

how about acting out jezebel on the dinner table?

jezebel of the ball

i rly wanna see that fucking movie.

i don't know, when my bf and i were at that stage in college, we still hooked up with other people. and talked about it. i think you guys should have that conversation.

be back later DINNER WITH THE RENTS

OK: sex. i love it, i mean it's rly nice & all. the thing is, i'm BUSY. i'm always working on music, and the thought of going out, spending $ on drinx and batting my eyelashes at strange boyz is just too much for me most weekends.

PLUS, my best girlfriend just got diagnosed with herpes, and she's not even THAT sexually active. that really made me stop and think. i would be devestated. i know it's silly, i mean it's not like it's life threatening, but my physical self is important to me.

um, yeah. but the thing IS, i'm 24 -- this is like, the time. so i'm stacking my options. oh yeah, the bulge -- i have to find that and crop it. i wouldn't want to reveal him 2 much.

GUYZ i'm trying to quit all my unhealthy crap at once: smoking, drinking too much, eating the wrong things. i'm not 12 anymore ; ( but it's SO HARDDDDDD!

and BTW wtf is w/ the arthur russell thing lately? never heard of this guy and all of a sudden his name is left and right. do i need to seek this out?

in a word or three: yes yes yes. seek him out this instant.

my other favorite russell choker is "tell you today," but for much different reasons

OK, fairly tipsy tonight in the same room with a bunch of not hetero guys. Baby steps.

Hi. My appetite is not sated but my thirst is. Co-worker from the restaurant bought me beers.

I still advise refraining from extraneous dingdong.

That is all.

Chicago is horrendously windy tonight.

I actually have an enormous fetish for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwtCsg-NfRM (though it's not Arthur Russell)

Oh come on lads, you can do without sex for a shortish, finite amount of time if the prize is worth it, and a happy successful relationship is pretty much the number one prize in life.

(see if you can spot the non-fag imposing his norms on you)

I dare ya to go w/o poker for a shortish, finite amount of time. ;-

jeez, r u guys gonna post this much all holidays-long?!? I will hv limited access. :(

omg, Sandrine Bonnaire was my fave '80s French actress. That would be a great had-sex-with-by-proxy name to throw out.

Sur, I would link to my 2-star review of Charlie Wilson's War if I were more of a hoe. Roberts is particularly underwhelming -- she destroys one surefire laugh line.

I sorta 'wasted' most of my 20s but don't especially regret it.

she WAS kinda underwhelming, right??

altho she looked good in that bikini

(see if you can spot the non-fag imposing his norms on you)

whtvs, i haven't had sex in six months

new year's resolution

I've decided that this gay dude at work is my official first gay friend. We've been basically talking since he started working there (March/April-ish), but it finally hit me today. He's a cool dude.

isn't that such a great feeling? that happened to me last year and i knew it when it hit me too. first one. and he's still one of my best friends. dear benny.

It's pretty swell.

yeah i can go without it. seeing as how he's all i can think about while 'pulling it' sort of seems an indicator that i should refrain from other temptations.

and Surmounter, check out Arthur Russell this instant. read the wiki on him, too.

Another Thought and Calling Out of Context are my favorite albums of his.

"A Little Lost," "This is How We Walk on the Moon," "Arm Around You" and "That's Us/Wild Combination" are my favorite songs of the moment...but that kinda changes rather often. i'm going through a huge Russell period right now. happens every couple of months.

oh and i know two books i'm getting for x-mas:

- Crush by Richard Siken (which everyone should read, it is quite riveting)
- The Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson (which is sort of required reading for all gays, or should be...)

Tell me ALL about that autobio in a very abbreviated form.

Geryon, a young boy who is also a red, winged monster, reveals the volcanic terrain of his fragile, tormented soul in an autobiography he begins at the age of five. As he grows older, Geryon escapes his abusive brother and affectionate but ineffectual mother, finding solace behind the lens of his camera and in the arms of a young man named Herakles, a cavalier drifter who leaves him at the peak of infatuation. When Herakles reappears years later, Geryon again confronts the pain of his desire and embarks on a journey with Herakles and Herakles' new lover, Ancash, which will unleash his creative imagination to its fullest extent.

Partly based on myth, partly on contemporary living.

Touching, daring, erudite, funny. It's the only book that made me laugh AND cry in the past year.

There's even a scene with a handjob in an airplane!

wtf. it's like everyone was hiding this knowledge of Arthur Russell from me. i'm gonna check him out. table what else do you listen to?

oh and describe russell in 3 words.

i mean, it's not like i live under a rock. i've like heard of talented musicians.

i'm watching The Waitress -- have you guys seen it? I fucking love Keri Russell and that Cheryl David actress. she's hilarious.

Cheryl Hines.

OK so he's back online for the first time since the thing, but he hasn't been online because he's been traveling from NJ to DC and has been w/ his mom, and earlier today he txt'd me out of the blue like nothing'd happened, blah blah blah.

Now the whole thing's really bugging me and I feel the need to talk to him and receive closure about the whole thing, but am nervous. What if he gets silent like before? Etc etc. What shall I do?

1st things 1st. what did he text

it was completely "business as usual", he was just like "oh man i went to the bathroom and got locked out of the theater!", the sort of thing we usually text about. And then we exchanged maybe a dozen or two about similar nothingness.

closure is for books, not people. if he is uncomfortable and wants a redux, what is against him having it?

well u have 2 options. talk to him again, clear it up and be a little vulnerable. or fuck him, play hard to get/forget about him and see what the fuck he does

because I'm the type that kind of needs closure. I feel like it's awkwardly hanging and nagging me unless it's resolved. And we're talking totally fine right now like it hadn't happened before.

rite ur not comfy just letting it hang so just fucking broach it again

oh and describe russell in 3 words.

Muppet, cello, disco.

oh and describe russell in 3 words.

anal, oral, anal

MUPPET CELLO DISCO??? whaaat

Ha, I think he kind of sounds like a Muppet. A Muppet playing a cello over really spare, spacious, echoey disco-inflected arrangements.

you are one weird cat, cnninghm

wow that sounds fucking hot?

this movie is amazing

stevie i recommend not doing it through text or aim or email because that is too easy for him to ignore or change the subject. i think you should do it with voice.

that's like the motto of my life -- do it with voice.

oh m gosh, keri russell is inspirational. honestly The Waitress? wow!! get thee to blockbuster. also did u guys hear about this director woman? she wrote the movie, directed it, acted in it, wrote the theme song.

THEN, right befoer it was released, she hired a painter to paint her NYC home? and he killed her. wtf

oh jeez, i'd be much much too nervous to tell him in person. Unless I had some booze in me, but then again it'd be dismissed as the whole "you've had too much to drink" stuff.

Now that I'm talking to him i really don't want to bring it up. But it keeps nagging me, even though I KNOW he doesn't like me back, I don't know for sure; I'm only inferring this through gaps in an instant-messaging session.

The problem is I invested waaay too much time/energy/hope in the belief that he liked me back, because every fucking sign pointed to "YES", so now that I sort of know the real deal it's just not clicking. And it's quite frustrating.

he KIND OF likes you otherwise he wouldn't be in touch with you.

just figure out how much he's worth. prolly not that much, in the long run? unless you have that feeling like HE'S IT HE'S THE ONE. then bag him, anyway you can. ::shrugs::

Tell him. Call him, say 'I am mega crushed on you.' Otherwise you'll be all confused about it again. Put him in a position in which any response other than 'yes' is definitely no.

Whether he likes you isn't even the issue now. It's all about whether he wants to be with you. Force it.

omg why was that such a good point

He doesn't.

I know this now.

stevo u need to like meet some guyz online. u need to just meet them and travel and have fun.

OK let's drop this whole thing and talk about tv or something.

If he knows you like him but (evidently) doesn't like you back, why is he sending you 600 texts? There's something dissonant about this.

xp sorry

okay let's talk abouttttttttttttt girls

who's prettier: natalie portman or kiera knightly

kiera ca. 2005, natalie ca. 2008

SO FUCKING TRUE, astute. omg kiera circa love actually = hard to beat

okay: julia roberts or kiera sedgwick

sedgwick any day. roberts seems like too much of a ballbuster.

mary louise parker or mary lou henner?

henner for realness. parker looks like china doll with too many stitches, on valium.

scarlet jo or christina aguilera

to sum everything up, concerning the txts and stuff--it's because we're friends (and I don't think he has a great deal), and at the end of the day, he saw me simply as a friend and i saw him as more and it just now struck me as such and now i'll have to attempt to readjust and that is that.

okay. well u know, which is good. he's not even that cute. i mean he's like doable, but he's no baldwin. yes i did just type that DEAL.

james baldwin or alec baldwin?

(either SJ or CA with dark hair.)

olivia de havilland or joan fontaine?

james when you're feeling naughty, alec when you're feeling rich.

ummmm (good call with dark haired christina) -- i'd say olivia except i would want joan in the long run. that's a toughie.

rose mcgowan or lindsay lohan

WHY did my uncle just put this ridiculous sex show on when he knows 'm right behind him

because he's trying to turn you straight.

omg there's some guy whipping his wife you know? and they're both naked

i really don't know if i can do this i might have to go to the bedroom

okay okay PRE HAIRCUT, fresh faced and all:

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/rrawn/pre-haircut.jpg

there's a four-plus-year-long ILX thread about olivia vs. joan and i believe that question still has yet to be resolved

(i have no idea myself but letter from an unknown woman was the best thing i saw all year)

and THIS is the haircut which i know looks completely NOTHING, but it's actually really hard to cut my hair cuz it's so thick. i look a little scary here with more scruff or whatever

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g192/rrawn/post-haircut.jpg

It looks great!

thganks! i know i ws really happy, u'd be surprised how bad they can mess up my hair...

so... the boyfriend and i exchanged gifts... and he was disappointed.

he had mentioned that he wasn't exchanging christmas gifts with his family or friends this year, and that his finances were a little short, so I thought the long-underwear thing would be a nice, thoughtful, modest gift that he would get a lot of use out of.

but then i opened his gift for me -- a beautiful necktie from brooks brothers, and a clothing / textile reference book -- i was embarrassed by how much more thought he put into his gift... and apparently, he thought i was giving him a tweed vest we had seen at j. crew, so was let down by frumpy, comical red underwear.

and now i feel like a inconsiderate boyfriend, and a disappointment.

i hope everyone has a merry christmas, even though i've apparently ruined it.

(i am being a bit melodramatic, but still, i do feel like a bit of a chump.)

lol ELMO!! just go get him the fucking vest. my bf is SO MUCH better at gifts than i am, it's embarrassing. i'm sure he has like a new home waiting for me when i get back. i got him 2 CD's so far. but i'm DETERMINED to find something great.

yeah, a second swap isn't at all gauche

yeah.

guyz i'm getting glasses today!!!!!!! clear frames, charcoal-black stems (what they fuck are those called? stems?)

Arms? I don't know.

haha right.

jesse don't i kind of look like you in my pre-haircut picture?

Hmm. Maybe a little.

You are pretty handsome.

hahaha well so are you! it's something about the shape of the face.

You are -- please post pic of hawt Surmounter with charcoal-black legs, please.

hahaha oh plz it's all angles!! but rest assured i will definitely show off my new glasses

We are both so fucking hot.

and humble!

Haha. Kidding.

=P

yeah, elmo, you should just go get him the vest! on the condition that he wears the union suit tonight.

You should get him the vest but add "oh well the tie is nice an' all but I thought you were getting me a HUGE YACHT" and then he'll have to go get you one.

Also I bet you can think up other ways to make it up to him.

you mean like sex?

I think ppl w/ BFs can handle gift dramas.

I mean like fancy sex.

^^^

the vest isn't even at the store anymore -- we had seen it in the store back in october, so no option of purchasing that. well -- i have both valentine's day and his birthday in february to make it up to him, i guess.

fancy sex?

Well, something you wouldn't normally do, perhaps, that he'd like.

black tie and cummerbund

staple gun and mayonnaise

EWWWWWWWWW

so i ordered teh glasses! i love them -- do you know that feeling, when you see that one that you just REALLY LOVE? that's how i felt about my LG phone, and that's how i felt about these glasses. of course, that's also how i felt about putting my vacuum on my wall as art, but that's another story =P no they're great. but they won't be ready for a few days so pix must wait.

i believe the 'stems' on the glasses are called the 'temples,' since that's where they fit onto the face.

stevie:
elan is right about talking in person or on the phone.

and surmounter, arthur russell in three words:
cello, disco, downtown

What else do I listen to? A lot of techno and house. Dub. Kate Bush. Steely Dan. Enya. (Yes I am serious).

oh, i rented 'Wild Tigers I Have Known.' very excited to stay up late watching it tonight.

meh, wish i had a movie to watch tonight. maybe i'll be lucky and meet me in st. louis will be on tv later or something

i just drank most of a bottle of zinfandel by myself with dinner, and now i'm listening to the blue nile and feeling rather sad for some inexplicable reason. and i don't want to wrap presents right now.

Aw. I am making dinner and then presumably making cookies to take to my friend's party. Which should be nice. But I am totally not in a holiday mood this year, alas.

Dinner's nearly ready. We've already been to church, and I was reading Norman Mailer's Armies of the Night to my 1-year-old niece.

Merry Fag-O-Tron Christmas etc.

(Gracie Allen ran on the Surprise Party line, right?)

SOOOO happy my parents didn't make me go to church. in fact, they're not going to church, either. it's like we went jew this year or something.

"Gracie Allen, the female half of the runaway comedy team of Burns and Allen, announced one March evening over the radio her intention to compete for the presidency at the head of a new third party, the "Surprise Party." Why the Surprise Party? As Gracie later explained, her mother was a Democrat, her father a Republican, and Gracie had been born a Surprise."

http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/hills/1836/4pres.jpg

Etc.

reading passages from armies of the night out loud = total classic, as we discovered at a bar one night

"I've gotta go to the shop to buy some condoms. And remember...NO SLAPPING!"

This is brilliant, hope most of you haven't seen it before.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ldFWvHa4Svg

ih, esp if you can do a convincing raspy Norman.

I think most of us have seen that before, actually. Although, "Director's Cut"? Is there another version floating about out there?

(Oops, that wasn't meant to be snarky.)

now i'm in a fucking bad mood.

btw i love enya. a lot. cheapest massage you can ever get.

guyzzzzz i'm bored. we're watching the painted veil and naomi watts is actually not terribl in it.

Watching Office Web extras. So this is Christmas.

Tomorrow Chinese dinner and Sweeney Todd.

hmmm. that's funny, all the other fags i've showed it to have been like "wha?"

anyway, "Wild Tigers I Have Known" is infuriating in the way that most reviewers said it was. but it is also sublime in its cinematography, and totally gets the alienation of junior high down to a t. or at least i pretty much felt the way 'Logan' feels when i was in junior high.

god damn.

bed.

and surmounter, i am just always so impressed with how she works those synths. so lush and dreamy... stupidly so, but lush and dreamy nonetheless.

yes. the synths tickle wonderfully.

It wasn't a fag thing, just a film buff thing -- I'm a huge Guy Maddin fan, and certainly Morbs, Stevie, Eric H, Joe, and probably someone I'm forgetting are likely to have seen it, I think.

For Morbs or anyone else who wants to know what we've been talking about, this should, if it worked right, be an episode early on in Gracie Allen's campaign. I was listening to it earlier today, and it's pretty great.

Umm - Surmounter is making me post here. This is the boyf.

Hi!

Aw, hey!

Ruh roh.

so those Lindt chocolate balls?

wow.

I got 2 boxes of turron for xmas, I am pretty positive it is better than those red lindt balls. I also got a case of tuborg gron for xmas, so I may not really know...

i don't really know but they were gooood

i'm all about these nougaty things called 'divinities' from italy that my moms got me.

My sister got me Jelly Bellies.

I like those sweets made from white chocolate, clotted cream and strawberries, but the only shop I knew where you could get them is gone.

white chocolate is vile, imho/

Great in small doses, bad idea to eat a bar of it or something.

yeah, not a fan either. i've been eating those dove christmas squares or whatever like there's no tomorrow, however

Well.. you can all shut up because you've never had these strawberry things! Right! ; )

oh no, white chocolate is my favvvvvv... anything white chocolate.

white chocolate chip cookies, hersheys white chocolate cookies n cream bars, white chocolate lindt balls (do they make those?)

mmm

too much lindt is your problem!

Is there white Milka?

wait what's milka?

I think it's German. It is soooo good. You can get it in Tesco.

It's owned by Kraft though

haha

who's tried Kinder i'm always intrigued

Mmm. Is Kinder not in america?

All we used to get as treats were Kinder eggs, they're like tiny easter eggs made of one layer of white and one of milk chocolate and in the middle is a crappy plastic toy you have to assemble. Genius but really expensive.

The little kinder chocolate bars are delish and I kinda like Pingui. Milk slice is gross though.

ya they have these kinder choc bars down the street i'm always eyeing, but they're not all over the place ya know?

So worth it.

Just sugary and creamy, not so chocolatey

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4e/Kinder_chocolate.jpeg/625px-Kinder_chocolate.jpeg

The milk/liquid imagery and the young boy are making me a little uncomfortable.

Don't grubby things that are pure.

K?

what's purer, his face or the sugary creaminess?

Ha! Oh it's all so lovely. I really want some now.

i just had a mint choc. biscotti bar. i didn't even know those happened. it was big and thick.

i didn't even know those happened.

I am so saying this all the time now.

http://69.13.97.211/t-shirt-designs/prodimages/smiley%20face.jpg

david beckham -- "I'm very honoured to have the tag of gay icon. I always liked to look good, even when I was a little kid. I was given the option when I was a page boy once of either wearing a suit or wearing knickerbockers and long socks and ballet shoes - and I chose the ballet shoes and knickerbockers."

aww

sur, they definitely make white chocolate lindt balls. my mom was really into them for a bit.

i mean, that might be a little too dangerous. that's like balls of heroin.

what's weird is that i kind of don't really like sweets all that much. i mean, i adore chocolate chip cookies, but for the most part, i'm kinda 'meh' on the sweets front.

unless it's Ritter Sport. give me Ritter Sport Chocolate filled with Marzipan and i will kiss you endlessly after stuffing the whole bar down my throat.

ritter sport is really yummy -- THEIR WHITE CHOCLATE BAR IS RIDICULOUS.

i'm def first and foremost a salty, as well.

I'm less about chocolate than jellies and licorice.

ooh we have some jellies here.

have you ever had anise tea? it's like licorice tea. mmm

boyf gave me delicious licorice for xmas.

Left if in stupid limerick, won't be back til saturday. >: (

oooh ; ( wait is limerick like a town?

Limerick

Dump.

lol thxx

I vote for licorice as well. Mm, salty spicy licorice.

licorice >>>>>>>> white chocolate

cool i didn't think that many ppl liked licorice!

jager?

allright table, either you are A. flavor-masochist B. missing your tongue since we last lived together or C. lying. you love sweets!

Salty licorice I am not such a big fan of. Sweet, thick molasses licorice is perfect thanks. Panda? Yes!

Shoestring licorice probably takes the cake. Surmounter is a fan of Twizzlers pull and peel, which to me tastes like a scratch and sniff sticker circa 1987.

mmmmm pull n peel

I got some Mallomars, and "urban chocolates" (!?) from Russell Stover.

Doing laundry now. Planning to go to the SPIT party at Uncle Ming's, assuming the peppermint soap I was forced to use at my sister's has worn off. :p

SPIT party?

http://www.suntimes.com/news/710956,crash122307.article

Mini van plows into Channel 7 studios.

Crap. Wrong thread.

Time Out sez "Relish a sleazy night of nasty boys, featuring a horny Santa Claus,... "

This is so Morbius.

Oh, Santa!