i dunno, that's actually pretty LOL. maybe it could become my new default EXCELSIORbation fantasy.

no no no no no no no no ew ew ew ew ew

THIS DOESN'T HELP AT ALL, JERKSTORE

THIS IS LIKE IF WE WERE IN A BAR AND SOMEONE POOPED ON THE FLOOR AND I WAS LIKE "LET'S GO TO A NEW BAR" SO YOU PICKED UP THE POOP AND BROUGHT IT WITH US AND SMEARED IT ALL OVER EVERYONE

ok wow this is what happens when you post something outrageous 10 minutes before the vortex in the knowledge that nobody will remember it :D

SO AWESOME A+++++++++ JOB CURT!S

xpost we agree to disagree then

xxpost LJ, you spelled :( wrong

IT'S EVERYWHERE

:D because i lolled
:D because i <3 crutis
:D because

POOP

you all suck!

i was hoping that the server move would have swallowed this thread

like an old friend

Great thread

Hey guys what did I miss? =)

this is funny because it makes people think of louis masturbating

Is that some obscure French king with an unfortunate nickname?

the third.

Louis Masturbating the Third?

ban

should we go back to the other bar now that the poop has been transferred to the new bar?

This is maybe the best start to an EXCELSIOR thread in years.

i went to target on xmas eve last year -- it was like lord of the flies

-- mookieproof, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:53 PM (Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:53 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yow that sounds terrible

-- jhøshea, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:54 PM (Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:54 PM) Bookmark Link

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fyi never wear a red shirt to the place

-- jhøshea, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:55 PM (Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:55 PM) Bookmark Link

THE DESTROYER

-- strongohulkington, Friday, November 30, 2007 7:27 AM (Friday, November 30, 2007 7:27 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that shit can still give your taint a chemcal peel at the right volume

-- strongohulkington, Friday, November 30, 2007 7:28 AM (Friday, November 30, 2007 7:28 AM) Bookmark Link

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you know what else can do that is a trip on an amtrak

-- El Tomboto, Friday, November 30, 2007 7:45 AM (Friday, November 30, 2007 7:45 AM) Bookmark Link

Is Tyler Perry the singer from Aerosmith?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 8:30 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

God I WISH

"Dude Looks like a Lady" would be so much awesomer that way

otm

Is Dan Perry the lead singer of Aerosmith? He's from Boston.

plz to rename UHF "Aerosmythe"

no, sorry

plz to call one of your songs "Aerosmythe"

plz to call another one of your songs "Hen Fap"

professor, why is there no emancipation of mimi thread?!?!?!?!

-- max, Monday, November 26, 2007 11:58 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

(actually, that whole thread is rofltastic)

Only the Ravens could've fallen into a barrel of titties like that and come out sucking their thumb.

-- Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 3:06 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

FUCKING YO MURPHY! YO MURPHY.

He is from my hometown of...IDAHO FALLS, IDAHO.

From "THIS WEEKEND ONLY - ALL WEEKEND - NUDE ILXOR PICTURES - IN THIS THREAD!":

It must have been really popular, because every time I tried to access ILX at the weekend, the browser timed out

-- snoball, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 8:28 PM

Hand in Glove was about the OJ Simpson trial

-- St3ve Go1db3rg, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 10:27 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I had a date with RealPlayer once but she got caught in net congestion and didn't make it

-- Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 6:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

it's crazy how much more obvious it is in this version that deckard is really a unicorn.

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:56 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Dear Abbott,

If you'd marry Tombot, could you take the joint name ATOMBOT?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 14:22 (Yesterday) Link

Or TOMABOT?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 14:23 (Yesterday) Link

If you married him, you could be Tuombot.

-- Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 15:28 (Yesterday) Link

I don't believe in marriage.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 15:34 (Yesterday) Link

swinburningforyou, shouldn't you get back to playing captain save-a-morrissey?

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 8:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

and Matt, you should get back to being some indie hipster douchebag that i'm sure you sneer at but actually are

-- swinburningforyou, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

and you should get back to sneering being the person sneering at a indie hipster douchebag sneering at a indie hipster douchebag that he actual is but you actually are

checkmate.

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:04 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

haha i don't even know what i just wrote

eat a dick

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, December 4, 2007 9:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

A+

don't think this was mentioned in the thread but: beware the whole stopping/starting while taking a leak; doing it too frequently can cause a bladder infection. wow, real sexy talk :/

-- Rubyredd, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 11:03 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want to be your bladder infection, baby!

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 11:17 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

o_O thread morelike

I'm scared of even going onto Rotten lest I see some man's third-degree burnt penis popping out of his bum or something. I fucking hate that site.
-- Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 4 January 2007 07:48

Thread needs some funny posts in.

He1ges0n...my hero.

I already said sorry to Rubyred about that post, did you need to excelsior it?

I already said sorry to Rubyred about that post, did you need to excelsior it?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 5 December 2007 15:53 (3 minutes ago) Link

I remember the Daily Mail outrage about scientists fiddling with fruitflies genes to make them bisexual.

-- blueski, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:42 PM (Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:42 PM) Bookmark Link

Previously known as straightflies.

-- Noodle Vague, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:46 PM (Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:46 PM) Bookmark Link

Besides which I heard that Rose McDowall was once on the same bill as Right Said Fred and one of them gets his windows washed by a guy whose brother once got on the same bus as Sal Solo, so that definitely makes her a goth, right?

-- aldo, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:48 AM (10 minutes ago)

Err, she also used to be in Current 93 and Death In June...

-- baaderonixx, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:49 AM

I know, I was riffing on Alex's assertion the Thompson Twins were goths.

-- aldo, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:52 AM (7 minutes ago)

You misread that. I never suggested that.

-- Alex in NYC, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:57 AM

So, you know, go put on a black waistcoat, paint some cobwebs on your pale, puffy pate, do a wavey arm dance and go blow yourself.

-- Alex in NYC, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:59 AM (15 seconds ago)

it just seems forced these days

Think of it as a last great flourish.

The thing that's funny about that one is the weary preamble!

true

"do a wavey arm dance"

[slight editing:]

Crazy Pizzas I have Made that People Actually Ordered in America:

Bologna/Jalapeno
Feta/Jalapeno/Bacon/Pineapple
Sauerkraut/other normal toppings
Mayo/Bacon/Cheese (cooked) + Lettuce/Tomato (cold) (this one was on the menu)

Crazy Pizzas I have Made Out of Sheer Boredom:

Sauerkraut/Swiss cheese/Corned Beef/1000 Island
Peanut butter/Strawberry jelly
too many more to recall

-- dan m, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:52 PM (Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:52 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dan m. worked at cpk?

-- bell_labs, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:54 PM (Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:54 PM) Bookmark Link

Louis you is a treat

I imagine you walking around farms looking at chickens and saying "aren't you a type of pizza"

And the chickens being like "LOL have you ever googled that guy"

-- nabisco, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

^^^spat plum over the monitor laughing at that

I'm actually surprised CPK doesn't have a pizza called "the whatnot pizza" topped with capers, belly-button lint, okra and puma claws.

-- HI DERE, Thursday, 6 December 2007 09:12 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

That one needs a cartoon version. (xpost)

Think of it as a last great flourish.
I think of it as the reunion tour after the tour after the Filthy Lucre tour.

^^^^

http://www.boxing-memorabilia.com/images/posaliberbick.jpg

sal solo was a goth?!?

"I bet we could go right round the world and you'd have a pat response ready."
"I've travelled man, I've seen a bit of the world now you know."
"What do you think of Koreans, for instance?"
"Not to be trusted. Cruel people. Much the same as all Orientals."
"That's a third of the world's population dismissed in a phrase. Russians?"
"Sinister."
"Egyptians?"
"Cowardly."
"Oh? I thought you might have saved that for Italians."
"No, no, they're greasy aren't they? Not as greasy as the French mind."
"Germans?"
"Arrogant."
"Spaniards?"
"Lazy."
"Danes?"
"Pornographic."
"Well that's just about everyone. Oh, Americans?"
"Well, they're flash aren't they?"
"So it's just down to the British is it?"
"Well, I haven't got much time for the Irish or the Welsh, and the Scots are worse than the Koreans."
"And you never could stand Southerners."
"To tell you the truth I don't like anybody much outside this town. And there's a lot of families in our street I can't stand either. Come to think of it I don't even like the people next door."
"I see, so from the distant blue Pacific through the barren wastes of Manchuria, to 127 Inkerman Terrace, you can't abide anyone."

-- Dom Passantino, Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:58 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

another NME exclusive

-- blueski, Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:58 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

If somebody doesn't use the headline "A MAN, A PLAN, A CANAL - PANAMA", I shall cry

-- Tom D., Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:54 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

You can safely add "genius" to your business card.

-- Øystein, Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:55 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

where is canoe?

-- Mark G, Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:55 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

A CANOE, PANAMA, surely

-- Just got offed, Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:56 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Yes, but we're getting a bit too clever here

-- Tom D., Thursday, 6 December 2007 14:57 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

A MAN, A PEON, A CANOE - PANAMA!!!!!!!!

-- Tom D., Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:00 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

YAY!

Get that man a Peon!

-- Mark G, Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:01 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

... this would work if there was kinda Mexican peasant involved in the story somewhere

-- Tom D., Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:01 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

By the time they've got Julie Walters on board, there will be.

-- Noodle Vague, Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:02 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

... or indeed a gorilla

A MAN, APE ON A CANOE, PANAMA!

-- Tom D., Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:02 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

I'm hearing gruff trailer voice man saying

A MAN, APE ON A CANOE, PANAMA!

-- Jarlrmai, Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:12 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ape played by Jimmy Nail

-- Noodle Vague, Thursday, 6 December 2007 15:13 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^^rounded it off nicely while you were away excelsioring it

that is some other-level genius that

What would make Starbuck's a social success?

-- HI DERE, Thursday, December 6, 2007 12:40 PM (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DOGTITS LATTE

-- Mr. Que, Thursday, December 6, 2007 12:41 PM (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Besides that.

-- HI DERE, Thursday, December 6, 2007 12:42 PM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this really has got me thinking about a thread dedicated to re-casting british sitcoms with ilx0rs ...

http://www.davidjason.info/images/open-all-hours-2.jpg

L-R: Louis, Dom

-- blueski, Thursday, 6 December 2007 20:44 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

np is exceedingly pretty in that picture, nipples notwithstanding. perhaps it is the company tho.

-- remy bean, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

i should have said 'in spite of' and not 'not withstanding' because 'withstanding' is exactly what said nipples are doing.

-- remy bean, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

wait so you're saying she's pretty in spite of the nipples

-- omar little, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

yeah wtf

-- dmr, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

man if only she had no tits, she'd be gorgeous

-- El Tomboto, Friday, December 7, 2007 12:01 AM (4 hours ago)

Greater than God,
More evil than the devil.
The poor have it,
The rich don't need it.
If you eat it, you'll die.
What is it?

I'm Paul Harvey............. . .. . . . . . .... . .... .. Good DAY.

-- Pleasant Plains, Thursday, December 6, 2007 12:22 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

dirty toes?

-- moonship journey to baja, Thursday, December 6, 2007 12:23 AM (Yesterday)

I think that is way better than the real answer.

Not sure if this is so much a LOl as it is a ZING at me but funny either way :D

What does annoy me, and I'm not even sure I could explain why, is when random persons provide the public service of letting me know that my shoelaces are untied.

Hahaha dell, I get this with what aussies call "tagdagging", when your shirt tag is poking out from the back of your shirt.

-- Trayce, Friday, 7 December 2007 18:02 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

i think you made that up.

-- estela, Friday, 7 December 2007 18:07 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Not made up, but it only happens at goth clubs.

-- S-, Friday, 7 December 2007 18:11 (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

oh, an insult of the night.

-- estela, Friday, 7 December 2007 18:12 (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Those palindromes are killing me!

you should only take two an hour, otherwise you could damage your liver or something.

My physics teacher claimed that if a mouse fell from the top of the eiffel tower it would have a 50/50 chance of survival.

-- mei, Friday, 7 December 2007 12:37 (2 hours ago) Link

chances are it would land on a miniature version of the eiffel tower being sold from a stall at the bottom. so i would say less.

-- Upt0eleven, Friday, 7 December 2007 12:42 (2 hours ago) Link

haha dont worry there is nothing sexy about wearing 2 bras
unless you have FOUR BOOBS o_O

-- bell_labs, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

O_O_O_O

-- dmr, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:04 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

( o )( o )
( o )( o )

-- hstencil, Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:07 PM (Yesterday

someone make a .gif where instead of the eagle seeing the twin towers crash he sees potatoes being skinned and diced.

-- J0rdan S., Saturday, 8 December 2007 02:12 (8 hours ago) Link

I kissed a black metal girl on friday and now I am going to call her

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:30 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.auctiontecs.com/aberdeen/7-26-07/images/Art%20Deco%20Cast%20Iron%20Nude%20Statue.jpg

-- Heave Ho, Monday, 10 December 2007 00:39 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Bosnia. We had to go in because Canada sent indie rockers.

-- Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, May 10, 2006 7:56 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

I'm never going to watch that 2girls clip. No way.

-- Pleasant Plains, Monday, December 10, 2007 2:32 PM (Monday, December 10, 2007 2:32 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, it's just a matter of time before someone makes an animated gif out of it, and it surprises me on some future thread about barbecue.

-- Pleasant Plains, Monday, December 10, 2007 2:33 PM (Monday, December 10, 2007 2:33 PM) Bookmark Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh6luklZVGY

OTHER TACO MISTAKES
OTHER TACO MISTAKES
OTHER TACO MISTAKES
OTHER TACO MISTAKES
OTHER TACO MISTAKES
OTHER TACO MISTAKES

^story of my life

-- J0rdan S., Monday, December 10, 2007 8:29 PM

what the

hahaha

[insert your own "Bush for 2008" campaign slogan here]

-- Joe, Monday, December 10, 2007 9:26 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

"I would lose if I ran"

-- Eppy, Monday, December 10, 2007 9:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

"Also it is forbidden by an amendment to the Constitution"

-- Eppy, Monday, December 10, 2007 9:29 PM (1 hour ago)

My penis is fancy
-- Mike Hanle y, Friday, September 28, 2001 8:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

this faux-naive bad grammar shit half you chiefs spout is pretty inane.

-- pc user, Monday, December 10, 2007 11:07 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

THAT'S HOW CATS TALK

-- nabisco, Monday, December 10, 2007 11:08 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ha!

That dude out of the Strokes is heir to the Post-It billions.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, 10 December 2007 11:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Are you sure you're not confusing him with Michael Nesmith, who's mom invented the liquid paper?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Nesmith

-- Tuomas, Monday, 10 December 2007 11:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BARREL GUYZ

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, 10 December 2007 11:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

omg lol nabisco

Name Anderson Cooper

Dirt likes esctacy and freaky sex

!!!!!

-- roxymuzak, Wednesday, November 14, 2007 4:58 AM (3 weeks ago)

----

Anderson Cooper does NOT return email, btw.

-- roxymuzak, Monday, December 10, 2007 8:40 PM (19 seconds ago)

I promise you those are unrelated to one another!

surrrrrre ;-)

ok i fool no one

http://i7.tinypic.com/6jxs1vk.png

NO WAIT

um

i oiled her up like a shiny shoe

You can read it either way, but I'd imagine all the townsfolk know how KA-GAROO is completed. That they go for 'F' and 'L' I take to be a surefire sign that they're slowly, deliberately sending this man to his death.

-- Just got offed, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 18:56 (1 minute ago) Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how about the letters STFU? would they pick those??

-- Slumpman, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 18:57 (25 seconds ago) Link

that is just rude, not funny

ffs ANYTHING for a cheap shot eh? remy otm

What is that from?

Perry Fellowship Bible thread, almost turning into a Dan Perry Fellowship thread.

i like the baby/mild variety

-- bell_labs, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:22 PM (Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:22 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

of soap, not birth control

-- bell_labs, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:22 PM (Tuesday, December 11, 2007 5:22 PM) Bookmark Link

I can usually tell when HI DERE has posted the lol before I can see if he is in fact the LOL poster.

It's usually a safe bet since I post about 40% of them!

Here is a joke my brother made up when he was three?

Q. Why did the ice cream sit on top of the refrigerator?

A. Because it wanted to melt.

-- Abbott, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 11:31 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

sucide-cram?

-- Øystein, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 11:33 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

AUSTRALIA:
http://www.afp.gov.au/national/e-crime/online_child_sex_exploitation.html

NZ:
http://www.dia.govt.nz/diawebsite.nsf/wpg_URL/Services-Censorship-Compliance-Index?OpenDocument

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 16:14 (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Why are the Aus/NZ links longer than the others? Shouldn't they adopt a simple and memorisable link so people don't have to go fishing through Google?

I mean seriously, like beyondblue.com.au or something.

-- Autumn Almanac, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 17:13 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I would like to hear a jingle of them:

"Just report to
double-u-double-u-double-u
dot afp dot govt dot en zee!
slash diawebsite dot en ess eff
slash wpg underscore URL
...
okay...everyone not listening.
I am leaving the church mom.
I said it in public.
...
question mark then (all one word) open document
to keep a child safe today!"

-- Abbott, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 17:17 (5 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Ok, so in order to prove to certain people my massive video editing skillz, I've decided that I should re-edit a movie in a way that makes it better.

The question is, what movie should this be?? Should I do one that is good, but sags in some areas and is a little over-long, or a movie that is bad that could potentially be made good with a different cut??

Titles anyone? IMDB linkz??

Thank you for your help concerning this matter.

-- Viceroy, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:48 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Showgirls, obv.

-- Ned Raggett, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Wavelength

-- Eric H., Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:51 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

So I've just found a whole archive of child porn on google whilst search for pictures from David Cronenberg's "The Fly".:

Be my Townshend alibis, of course. Also reassure me that it DOESN'T exist and wouldn't be on the first couple of pages of a GIS and I'm way overreacting.

xposts

-- melton mowbray, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 8:24 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

ysi?

-- Noodle Vague, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 8:25 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

from the oldest youngest snog thread

A friend managed a 14 year old and 43 year old in the space of a month. Nice lad.
-- Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 23 May 2004 22:39 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Were they boxers?
-- Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Sunday, 23 May 2004 22:39 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

Dean Peer

-- Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 16:04 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

^^^best name for paedophile ever

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 16:05 (18 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

why do people think I wish everybody was dead

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 5:49 PM (Wednesday, December 12, 2007 5:49 PM) Bookmark Link

Gold!

My Glans. It is like the end of some long, bizarre cuteness odyssey.

-- Heave Ho, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 3:19 AM (Yesterday)

From the Matrix thread:

I wonder whether all that robot technology to extract a small wattage of power from each human being is worth the effort

also ^^^ this. if computers are so smart why are they fucking around with such an inefficient energy source when they could all just be nuclear-powered or whatever

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 13 December 2007 00:03 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think you can find the answers to these questions on numerous message board archives circa 1999

-- omar little

i think dom should post the lyrics to some song i've never heard

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 18:07 (Yesterday) Link

there is no way this child exists

-- max, Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:10 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

you sound like an evil emperor just informed of his prophesied downfall

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:43 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

There is NO WAY this CHILD ... EXISTS

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Your dark magic can't save you now max

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, December 13, 2007 11:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

tombot on fire

the highlight being this, the classiest lock I've seen in a while:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this thread died prematurely

-- gershy, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:07 (Yesterday) Link

not according to anybody who ever tried to argue with Momus

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:07 (Yesterday) Link

if you wanna troll, you gonna gotta troll with him

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:08 (Yesterday) Link

g'night

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 December 2007 08:08 (Yesterday) Link

This thread has been locked by an administrator

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/6659/holleroi7.jpg

Still, they took TJ Chepstoe sixth draft from Ulanda State this year, I think he's gonna fill the Brugster's shoes with little-to-no problem.

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, 14 December 2007 10:01 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

OTM, his second 24/%/*.8 pipecock in the pre-postseason exhibition game against the Atlanta Tapirs was a thing of rare beauty

-- That mong guy that's shit, Friday, 14 December 2007 10:10 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

lol I meant 24/%/^.8, obv

-- That mong guy that's shit, Friday, 14 December 2007 10:13 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

lol that one's gonna come back and haunt me - he's good, but he's not that good!

more like 'how high would I have to be before i handed in FREE CASH'.

-- blueski, Thursday, December 13, 2007 6:48 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/5339/hbni7.jpg

"My faith in quality discussion on ILX has plummeted"

still lolling

Put another way (and, admittedly, as the most patently obivous/obviously lazy example): would The Beatles have been as demonstrably influential had their career ended with "Help!"?

-- dblcheeksneek, Friday, December 14, 2007 9:37 AM (1 hour ago)

do not tempt me with such visions

-- Tracer Hand, Friday, December 14, 2007 9:40 AM (1 hour ago)

Roxy where is that from

Curt1s St3ph3ns: "Hot, Ready, and Legal!"

If that is what Curt1s looks like, then I look so scarily like Curt1s that I can't even tell it's not me

You look like he Merciful Release guy?

It's really hard not to pull at those things.

any male vocalist who sings like his nuts are in a vice gets compared to Plant

-- dally, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 2:01 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good times.

-- JN$OT, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 2:06 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bad times.

-- chaki, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 2:07 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hahaha

-- JN$OT, Tuesday, December 11, 2007 2:08 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

why do people report their opinion on a record during their first listening

what is the point of that

-- J0hn D., Wednesday, December 12, 2007 9:57 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

i apologize j0hn

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 10:04 PM

"Sir Duke" is nice, but I don't see why "I Wish" is supposed to be so great.

-- Geir Hongro, Saturday, December 15, 2007 3:43 PM (Saturday, December 15, 2007 3:43 PM) Bookmark Link

C'mon. Who doesn't get nostalgic about being spanked?

-- Eric H., Saturday, December 15, 2007 3:44 PM (Saturday, December 15, 2007 3:44 PM) Bookmark Link

Steve Wonder's parents didn't spank him when they wanted to punish him. They rearranged the furniture in his room.

-- Geir Hongro, Saturday, December 15, 2007 3:58 PM (Saturday, December 15, 2007 3:58 PM) Bookmark Link

roxy that is a photo of me at a weird angle back when my hair was really long. I forgot that it was still online.

you know how bad a time a year this is to move?

day before my move there's gonna be a massive snowstorm.

-- s1ocki, Saturday, December 15, 2007 1:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

it never ends

-- s1ocki, Sunday, December 16, 2007 1:03 AM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that's not really true, as a quick walk through your local cemetery might attest.

-- estela, Sunday, December 16, 2007 1:11 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

estela is a winner if there ever was one.

I'm an idiot.

-- Alex in NYC, Sunday, December 16, 2007 2:46 AM

if you smoke like i smoke
then youre high like every day

-- max, Sunday, 16 December 2007 17:48 (2 hours ago) Link

thats the extent of my similarity to nate dogg

-- max, Sunday, 16 December 2007 17:49 (2 hours ago) Link

estela ftw.

lol max

I'd just like to point out that I still have never posted to that clown porn thread.

-- HI DERE, Sunday, December 16, 2007 2:38 PM (3 minutes ago)

Rub your nipple.

-- The Reverend, Sunday, December 16, 2007 2:41 PM (39 seconds ago)

Now I'm kind of wishing I'd never posted to this thread.

-- HI DERE, Sunday, December 16, 2007 2:41 PM (10 seconds ago)

Queen Elizabeth - unclear about who this guy is
Harry Potter - a lot more entertaining when he's interacting with US posters than UK ones
God - probably owns "wacky" cufflinks
Father Christmas - generally seems to hate all the right people
Simon Cowell - him vs JW is the greatest ILx feud ever
Jesus - seemed like a nice dude 6 years ago, a victim of ilm cynicism
Jonny Wilkinson - gay
Spider-Man - met this dude in real life, he's a lot more bodrick than you'd imagine
Prince William - typical "lol americans can't speak english" 'tude
David Cameron - hate this guy but people have said i'm exactly like him

-- blueski, Monday, December 17, 2007 4:06 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

(Like, I'm not really sure why [Michael Cera's] second-billed.)
-- jaymc, Monday, 17 December 2007 20:23 (24 minutes ago) Link

Same reason Brando is second-billed in Apocalypse Now.
Because he's hugely fat, lazy, unprepared, and argumentative.
-- kenan, Monday, 17 December 2007 20:44 (3 minutes ago)

(marlon brando's name was above the title, wtf.)

(xpost They joke about it: "Sephardim? More like RETARDim, amirite??")

-- nabisco, Friday, 2 November 2007 20:25 (1 month ago) Link

(Needs the context of the James Watson thread.)

Haha. I was just talking about that New York Mag cover story with someone at a party the other night (the one about the Ashkenazim)

i am seriously trying to construct a believable situation in which the first picture would occur

-- remy bean, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 04:25 (1 hour ago) Link

chanukkah

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 04:33 (1 hour ago) Link

even naked pops in the background?

-- remy bean, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 04:34 (1 hour ago) Link

that's the chanukkah miracle!

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 04:36 (1 hour ago) Link

im so tired

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, 18 December 2007 04:36 (1 hour ago) Link

dude, you need to post the photo

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f111/EMILIALISH/l_2cb7576d9bfc49af265885fbcde62e9f.jpg

Jack Black, age 8

I love that photo.

Anyway:

---

I still haven't figured out what the hell "post-rock" means.

-- The Reverend, Monday, December 17, 2007 11:15 PM (Yesterday)

post-rock is the rock that's happened since older rockers stopped paying attention and don't like it anymore. The line varies. Post-rock probably started in 1968 when Richard Meltzer started getting antsy but usually is meant for post-Sex Pistols / Clash stuff, since they, too , were the only bands that mattered...and then it goes from there...I think.

It's rock that doesn't want to associate with other rock because other rock has been mean to it...or thinks it wiil be mean to it if it meets.

-- smurfherder, Monday, December 17, 2007 11:19 PM (Yesterday)

Ummm....thanks, I think...

-- The Reverend, Monday, December 17, 2007 11:21 PM (Yesterday

are these supposed to be representations of real posters

-- max, Monday, December 17, 2007 2:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

my guesses

unicorns - cutty
top 10 list - dj martian
rainbows - gay thread
cosmic schefter - duh
vodka thighs - ??
otm - nabisco
All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar - jon williams esq
fake morbs - real morbs
animated gif - heave
EXCELSIOR - trayce
racism - take your pick (popular today: dee the lurker)
Top Posters So Far This Month - kenan
ubl thumbs up - wtf is this
pegasuses - suck
iphone wireless handset - dan perry
what is twitter - tuomas
AMERICAN GANGSTER THE BET SHOW ABOUT AFRICAN AMERICAN CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS - jhø-gay-a
MAIL DAN POOP? - j. j. justen
everything - god
nothing - spider-man
somethings - IRE
the super-rich - suzy's friends
sparlkz - surmounter
bob (cat) - everyone (loves cats)
fakers - LUNA

-- max, Monday, December 17, 2007 2:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Jackson's lawsuit was for ~$100mn - I wonder what he got in the settlement?

-- milo z, Tuesday, December 18, 2007 10:57 AM (25 minutes ago)

the ring

-- Frogman Henry, Tuesday, December 18, 2007 11:22 AM (46 seconds ago)

from THE BROWSER POLL

internet explorer 2

lol

-- The Reverend, Wednesday, December 19, 2007 12:09 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

2 ppl that need to think hard about what they're really doing on the internet

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, December 19, 2007 12:18 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

listen to yourself

-- roxymuzak, Wednesday, December 19, 2007 1:36 AM

Dear Ann and Bob,

Let's start with the song of the year—which isn't to say the song of 2007. I'm talking about "Don't Stop Believin'," nee 1981, the soundtrack to the year's finest music video, and, for a week in June, the holder of the No. 1 spot on iTunes. My first thought when the screen went black at the end of the Sopranos finale was, "What a great song"—and my love deepened when I heard Petra Haden's barbershop version, which glories in the contrapuntal genius (I use the term advisedly) of Journey's arrangement. Meanwhile, guess what note-perfect cover song Kanye West has been playing as a requiem for his mother on his current tour?

...

12345678
from: Ann Powers
to: Robert Christgau and Jody Rosen
Why Patty Griffin Makes Me Cry
Posted Monday, Dec. 17, 2007, at 7:35 AM ET
Patty Griffin. Click image to expand.Patty Griffin

Who thought we'd start out our chat about the Year of Arcade Fire Kanye In Rainbows "No One" pondering a band that I once thought good for nothing but some killer air keyboard? But Journey is so relevant now. Thanks to my pals at the fresh blog Oh! Industry, I was already embroiled in the latest Journey journey, a saga that captures so much about pop music in 2007.

...

Ann and Jody,

Let's get this party started quickly. Journey sucks. They sucked in 1981, they'll suck in 2033, and they suck now. Who gives a fuck what Tony Soprano thinks? What I love about Tony Soprano when he's not killing people (and sometimes when he is) is that he prevails with his brain but isn't above bringing his body into the contest. That's very rock 'n' roll. But does it mean that I want to eat at Artie Bucco's (the diner, maybe, no onion rings please), or live in that McMansion (unless he installs a lot of bookcases)? Uh-uh. Of course he likes hyperemotional arena rock from his flaming youth. In 10 years, he'll be ordering up Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On."

http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/7305/dscn1127vs5.jpg I took a picture of me taking a picture of a silly sign I found across from Centre Pompidou. You might not get it, it's French...

I also think the top half of the old woman's head is a lovely touch, too.

i hate it when i forget to indent.

I don't get it.

It's French!

LOL Stevie :D

Homophobia sucks, but this was done in context, and I doubt that Kirsty MacColl was much of a homophobe either. Sadly she isn't around anymore to comment herself.

-- Geir Hongro, Wednesday, December 19, 2007 9:52 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark Link

she is calling to me from the spirit world. she say 'lol geir'

-- blueski, Wednesday, December 19, 2007 9:59 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Barack Christ Superstar, do you think you're what they say on NPR?

-- daria-g, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 03:00 (11 hours ago) Bookmark Link

OMG I want a whole album of that.

The amount of love that a mother cat provides to her kittens is highest as compared to all other animals.

I feel judged now.

-- Sara R-C, Wednesday, December 19, 2007 4:38 PM (Wednesday, December 19, 2007 4:38 PM) Bookmark Link

louis sometime you should tell the story of the time duncan mcrooningham scored five tries in the soccerball championship against wembertonshire

-- max, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:25 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i think he won the golden socks trophy

-- max, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:25 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

pip pip, he scored a Hunter's Trifle in that one, he did.

-- Mr. Que, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:26 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

McCrooningham was perhaps the finest linecocker never to represent Scotland. I think there's a youtube vid of the wonderful pipecock he scored against Rutland Memorable in 1973.

-- The blue-green world is drenched with horse gore, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:27 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

think they were using the famed, possibly illegal, 5-5-6 formation

-- max, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:28 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

those were the days, before the magna carta was signed

-- max, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:28 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

and they used a pubmasters head for a ball

-- Mr. Que, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:29 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

The formation was legal until 1978, when it was banned by the Soccerball World Council after Terry Guano's near-hernia in that year's Mother Teresa Cup final.

-- The blue-green world is drenched with horse gore, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 22:30 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

excelsior threads need a british humor filter

most of those funneys were from americans

the whole point of that joke is americans not getting british things /ljexplanations4u

i was trying to turn it around

Who is "The blue-green world is drenched with horse gore"?

Piss Artist formerly known as Noodle Vague

i have been contemplating an "AMERICANZ ONLY" LOL thread for a while but the noize board lolz kind of serves that purpose

Yes, god forbid someone doesn't share your taste.

-- Alex in NYC, Thursday, 20 December 2007 13:27 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i like ferg's soccerball comments

maybe they learn it at "high school"

lol

to be fair tho, the Excelsior thread is serious business and maybe we should take the football talk to I Love NFL

So if we get rid of the post of UK and US posters to the Excelsior thread, what do we do with the remaining 97% of posts left from Trayce?

An injury hit spell at Upton Park plus playing under three different managers and being forced to play out of position proved unsettling. His build and gait saw him nicknamed "the Mellorphant" and "Gerdy Man-Breasts" by the decidedly unimpressed West Ham fans.

I just spit coffee all over a potentially very valuable client.

i heard in arabia that's good manners

I can only pray for a future where cyborgs approach women in bars asking, "I hope you saved some turkey for me” in a vaguely threatening tone of voice.

-- HI DERE, Thursday, December 20, 2007 5:16 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ho boy that 'losing interest fast' thread is top 20 for the year, no questions asked

dell is also rapidly becoming an ILX hero

If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.

louis OTM, thread is genius. Slumpman also due praise.

I know that! I'm an American! I was explaining this to you! Why are you confusing me! Are you a magician!

-- The Reverend, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:38 (Yesterday) Link

Hahaha Dom your fucking bee in a bonnet about me is hilarious. There is no way I post to excelsior more than some other people do, and I'm not apologising for the simple shit that amuses me. You humourless dickface.

PS :)

travelling without drinking? I'd rather listen to jamiroquai

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, December 20, 2007 10:11 PM (4 minutes ago)

i just had 3 bloody mary's on the plane

still intrigued by how people who also speak english can have such a completely different concept of life on earth

-- El Tomboto, Friday, 21 December 2007 19:24 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

's all right, we know vag in sticks doesn't make babies

-- Autumn Almanac, Friday, 21 December 2007 19:41 (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

btw we think the same thing about you and your weird U-less words and polite society

-- Autumn Almanac, Friday, 21 December 2007 19:42 (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

zuing?

-- El Tomboto, Friday, 21 December 2007 20:04 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

what thread ws that from?

mongrels and sheep fuxors thread

lol my high school cd case is so alabama

orbital - green album
orbital - in sides
v/a - trance europe express vol. 1 through 4
v/a - trance atlantic
the orb - adventures beyond the ultraworld
the orb - orbus terrarum
the orb - u.f.orb
william orbit - strange cargo iii
fsol - isdn
lfo - lfo
v/a - techno trax vol 4 through 13
aphex twin - i care because you do
polygon window
v/a - tresor 2

god

-- El Tomboto, Friday, December 21, 2007 5:24 PM (3 minutes ago)

oh and three dog night's greatest hits

-- El Tomboto, Friday, December 21, 2007 5:25 PM (3 minutes ago)

yeah, that just screams alabama.

-- scott seward, Friday, December 21, 2007 5:25 PM (2 minutes ago)

He means Patricia Arquette's character from True Romance.

-- Alex in SF, Friday, December 21, 2007 5:26 PM (1 minute ago)

something tells me audrey hepburn would have made a lousy looking guy. he would have been picked on by all the boys.

-- Surmounter, Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:28 AM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

looooool xp

No, YOU'RE selfish!
OBD

-- Ol Bertie Dastard, Sunday, December 23, 2007 3:58 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

omgosh i love how she signs her name at the end

-- Surmounter, Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:09 AM

during caroling last night i enforced the singing of all twelve verses of children go where i send thee

-- remy bean, Saturday, December 22, 2007 11:12 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

From ILX 2008: what will happen?

26. Ned goes on killing spree.

-- The blue-green world is drenched with horse gore, Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:48 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

27. ned joins polyphonic spree

-- grimly fiendish, Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:48 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Of course the numbers should be reversed!

Too true.

So I'm sure everyone's keeping track of ILX 2008: What will happen? anyway, but for posterity's sake:

86. Lurkers rise to power, led by new user Dave (king of the lurkers) and take iLX for themselves. Regular ILXors, ridiculed and banned into the dark corners of the internet, create a Rebel ILX called "I Love Everything-Apart-From-Some-Things-Which-Are-A-Bit-Shit-tbh".

The gang of plucky Rebels train heavily day and night, urged on by their valiant leader Ned. Flaming each other into the drunken early hours, a powerful army of Nu-ILX Knights are formed.

Finally the warriors are ready and the Knights battle the Lurkers and their king in a massive ILX throw down, which is held on a server in the Isle of Man.

After a sweaty (rather nerdy) battle, the Lurkers lose and the king is vanquished to a quiet Classic Cars forum ran by Tim in Leeds. The original ILX server explodes in a rather cheap special fx using cardboard. (Later it would turn out that Jon W, on a daring heroic solo mission, flooded their code with jpegs of old xmas greetings cards and Russian florists)

Dave turns out to be Ned's father etc.

-- Ste, Monday, 24 December 2007 10:37

it's been done.

who's ILX's Jar Jar Binks then?

you can't have a discussion on race, so stop trying.

who's ILX's Jar Jar Binks then?

-- StanM, Monday, December 24, 2007 5:11 AM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

pipecock

yousem ilxors gonna get banned?

there's your answer Stan

shakey had another 'dumber than a bag of hammers' moment today btw. i'm genuinely beginning to wonder if his dad didn't rape him with a bag of hammers or something when he was a kid.

-- j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, May 31, 2006 11:54 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Jar Jar = Ronaldinho bottle opener

pipecock in a walk.

POLL

the only one who could ever reach me
was a canadian rapist man

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 24 December 2007 22:49

my microwave is kind of a sarcastic prick

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:17 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I pushed the "POPCORN" button and when it was done it said "ENJOY YOUR MEAL"

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:18 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

lol

Brittanie Mountz

I categorically refuse to believe this name is real. It is too perfect.

-- Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:37 (10 months ago) Link

ruby should marry rodney allen rippey and become ruby rippey rippey.

-- bobby bedelia (van dover), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:15 (10 months ago) Link
And the real fun will commence when Ms. Mountz marries and hyphenates!

-- Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 1 February 2007 19:54 (10 months ago) Link

[She could marry] Jim Hightower!

-- Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 1 February 2007 20:22 (10 months ago) Link
Or Jim Throbbingcocks!

-- Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 1 February 2007 20:32

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GGCNsoWijwU

MY DAD

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:38 (58 minutes ago) Link

111. Servers become intelligent, start posting, and want to know when ILX started going downhill.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, December 24, 2007 10:17 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

UH

-- ILX System, Monday, December 24, 2007 10:52 PM (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

man, to be in the same room as dane cook, ryan seacrest, and ty pennington.

-- omar little, Monday, December 24, 2007 5:22 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

then to leave that room and let in a bagful of cobras.

-- omar little, Monday, December 24, 2007 5:23 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

my microwave is kind of a sarcastic prick

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:17 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I pushed the "POPCORN" button and when it was done it said "ENJOY YOUR MEAL"

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:18 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

-- Just got offed, Monday, December 24, 2007 9:20 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

successful stand up routine in more humane universe

Yep, using it tomorrow.

Not that I'm a standup or owt!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2210/2131840418_e5a53c1747.jpg?v=0

Woah, Freudian.

Let me unearth a particularly fine essay I wrote on the novel.

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 15:57 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i'm outta here.

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, 26 December 2007 16:01 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Hahahah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD8uPJeYzkk

omg mark c has been spamming the comments on that youtube

a disgusting comment in there. still i lolled at the vid

what's the best nickname a coach calls you while stroking your ass?

-- moonship journey to baja, Thursday, December 20, 2007 2:56 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

anything so long as it isn't the quarterback's name

hate that fucking guy

-- gbx, Thursday, December 20, 2007 2:59 PM

All evil emanates from a single source that I just can't quite reach from behind my Ikea computer desk.

-- Hurting 2, Friday, 28 December 2007 05:06 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Let me just ask a somewhat loaded question:

If all of the swords in Kill Bill were lightsabers instead - but nothing else were different - how would you feel?

-- Girolamo Savonarola, Friday, October 10, 2003 8:56 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

by all means, let's have a furious pecker-pulling argument over barry fucking goldwater

-- elmo argonaut, Friday, December 28, 2007 1:41 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

That's me right now. My 30th birthday is next month and what I really want is a complete mani/pedi/facial/massage package at a day spa. It just seems so awesome and indulgent. I've been dropping hints so hopefully come Dec 28th I'll be somewhere blissed out while listening to a crappy sounds of the rainforest cd while someone smears magical creams all over my face. Ahhhhhhh.

Well, they took the hint! Although b-day is today I spent 5.5 hours at an Aveda spa yesterday being massaged, smeared with potions, and painted. It was heavenly. Best of all, it was all a surprise. I thought I was going in for a manicure but at lunch my husband kept handing me envelopes that contained more gift certificates. It turns out that he's been organizing this for a month and got all of our friends to chip in and each person or couple bought me a different treatment. So sweet!

-- ENBB, Friday, December 28, 2007 2:57 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i'll give you a facial for free

-- and what, Friday, December 28, 2007 7:53 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ahhhhhhhhhhahah

he wants to ejaculate on her face lol

yes but for free

4-2-4

you see it's a pun

INSANE REFRIGERATOR

blastocyst what 90s rock am I missing out on? I really never clued into a lot of it

-- Curt1s Stephens, Saturday, 29 December 2007 12:12 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

you are missing out on the cherry poppin daddies

-- tipsy mothra, Saturday, 29 December 2007 12:53 (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

For $45 that fetuccini better suck my cock.

-- alfredo sauce, Monday, January 9, 2006 8:57 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

for srs

also ewlol @ and what

Your search - "sad-eyed lindsay of the lohans" - did not match any documents.

-- s1ocki, Friday, December 14, 2007 10:59 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

i'm sorry

no chance of that with so many Librans on ILX.
-- MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, September 28, 2004 4:33 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what does lending books have to do with it?
-- ken c (ken c), Tuesday, September 28, 2004 4:34 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

This Cioran dude sounds awful. I've never understood philosophies (like Buddhism) that basically say life ain't worth living. Stop breathing then! Me, I'd rather eat and fuck and dream and love as long as I have the chance.

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 15 January 2006 16:30 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

I'm with you Tuomas. A remedy to those morbid lamentations is hedonism, the art of despising death.

-- S. (Sébastien Chikara), Sunday, 15 January 2006 16:38 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Hedonism is a morbid lamentation.

-- That I Could Clamber to the Frozen Moon and Draw the Ladder (Freud Junior), Sunday, 15 January 2006 21:12 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Ha! worthy of the man himself.

-- ryan (ryan), Sunday, 15 January 2006 21:28 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

No man is worthy of anything.

-- That I Could Clamber to the Frozen Moon and Draw the Ladder (Freud Junior), Sunday, 15 January 2006 22:39 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

"Faust Arp"

did they get this from the stereolab song-title generator?

-- scott seward, Sunday, December 30, 2007 5:50 PM

haha

enbb's story abt aveda spa day is v sweet and undeserving of crassness but i can't not laugh at A+ harsh juxtaposition comedy omghaa

From: what stuff do you always have on you?

.45
hip flask

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, December 31, 2007 3:31 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

are skinny jeans so bad? some people like clothing that wraps tightly around their groinal area. its snug.

-- veryloggedout, Monday, December 31, 2007 7:44 AM (Monday, December 31, 2007 7:44 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have underwear for that. I suppose some might prefer to go commando.

-- The Reverend, Monday, December 31, 2007 7:44 AM (Monday, December 31, 2007 7:44 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i wouldn't presume to know what's good for everybody, but i'm not as comfortable with the nuthug as i once was.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, December 31, 2007 7:45 AM (Monday, December 31, 2007 7:45 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok i said nuthug time to go home

fuckin graveyard shift

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, December 31, 2007 7:45 AM (Monday, December 31, 2007 7:45 AM) Bookmark Link

nu-thug

BIG HOOS aka the nuthugger

Unwanted Google result

Good GOD, man, you even managed to make a list of banal pocket items go TMI

-- nabisco, Monday, December 31, 2007 1:19 PM (Monday, December 31, 2007 1:19 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a freaking GIFT, I'm telling you

-- nabisco, Monday, December 31, 2007 1:20 PM (Monday, December 31, 2007 1:20 PM) Bookmark Link

LJ's pecker may be small, but calling it "disposable" is really unwarranted. I'm sure he gets plenty of use out of it.

-- libcrypt, Tuesday, January 1, 2008 10:20 AM (45 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

so much thought went into that one.

I mean, it's surprising that such seasoned ILX posters don't understand the concept of "LOL or "EXCELSIOR".

suck it up

http://www.nataliedee.com/080106/hell-yes-it-is.jpg

Defensive? xxp

hahaha Dom

I don't care how well-endowed people say I am. I do care that people find such thuddingly predictable stuff funny. I should stop being so grouchy but I haven't slept in 24 hours, have only had one cup of coffee in that time, and have just seen the worst football match of all time ever.

Excelsior thread is never for discussion of what is funny and what is not.

also it's a particularly blatant conflict of interest in this case.

dick-measuring contest, innit?

Kevin Greening RIP

Up there in heaven, playing Scanty Sandwich

heaven needed a guy no one in north america has ever heard of

http://www.tvradiobits.co.uk/radiotimes/RT1998Feb.jpg

Up there in heaven, playing Scanty Sandwich

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 1 January 2008 18:50 (27 minutes ago) Link

lolled

I'd prefer to stick with the original. Who designed that, anyway?

-- Matt DC, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 11:47 AM (20 minutes ago)

apologies to whoever did it - but i'm not a fan.

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 11:55 AM (12 minutes ago)

Who designed the current one?

me

-- blueski, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 12:00 PM (6 minutes ago)

i love it!

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 12:01 PM (5 minutes ago)

haha

ugh son

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 6:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ugh

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 6:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

'ugh son' is kinda funny enough on it's own

was he OTMing something?

CAN SOMEONE LINK TO THE COCK ALREADY

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 8:28 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

seriously. i've been sitting here with my dick in my hand for an hour

-- jergïns, Wednesday, January 2, 2008 8:37 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

anybody know when we'll start seeing results?

-- Tracer Hand, Thursday, January 3, 2008 10:49 AM (10 minutes ago)

when the SHEEP wake UP and our single party CIRCUS is SMASHED

-- gff, Thursday, January 3, 2008 5:02 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Ooh I have metal boys searching me! Are you pretty, Pal?

-- Kevin John Bozelka, Thursday, 3 January 2008 05:54 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I am not being your PAL, "Kevin John Bozelka!" >_<

-- Pål Útlendi, Thursday, 3 January 2008 19:22 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

george lucas insisting on something for years that everyone at first blush thought was crap... not filling me with confidence

-- gff, Thursday, January 3, 2008 5:54 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ah, hes just all butthurt over no one liking his precious prequels.

he's not writing or directing this so that's good.

-- latebloomer, Friday, 4 January 2008 05:06 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

ya but he has creative control and apparently deepsixed earlier versions of hte script everyone else liked. he'll find a way to ruin it.

-- s1ocki, Friday, 4 January 2008 05:42 (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

(...)

let's predict how!

-- latebloomer, Friday, 4 January 2008 06:18 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

CGI shortround cameo

-- latebloomer, Friday, 4 January 2008 06:19 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the big enemy will probably like... tariffs or something.

-- s1ocki, Friday, 4 January 2008 06:19 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

from curious. anagrams for 'Geir Hongro'.

if you look closely his name contains the n-word

-- Bo Jackson Overdrive, Friday, January 4, 2008 1:58 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

O NIGGER HO

-- wanko ergo sum, Friday, January 4, 2008 2:05 AM (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

re: son of a fuck thread -- why did it not get put on "hotlinking images nsfw"? :(

-- roxymuzak, Thursday, January 3, 2008 8:48 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

ok roxy i answered the phone @ work right as i read your post and i totally said "thank you for calling the doubletree fuck, this is BIG HOOS, how may i help you?"

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, January 3, 2008 10:25 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

OMG hahahah :D

Even at the best of times I'm not inclined to laugh about sexually transmitted diseases, and right now I'm all but comatose after an editorial death march through a couple of reports on HIV education and prevention for the Red Cross.

However, in light of Momus' spot-on comments about getting tested and treated for STDs, we all need to give him a round of applause *clap clap clap*

-- j.lu, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 10:00 (5 years ago) Bookmark Link
my ceiling light just went out.

-- Dare, Tuesday, 2 April 2002 10:00 (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

Guys, if someone is smart enough to run for (US) president, then they're smart enough to do a great job, that's what I say! Go people running for president yay!

-- HI DEAR, Friday, 4 January 2008 14:30 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Biden wrote the three greatest pieces of legislation in history - the Magna Carta, the authorization for the Louisiana purchase, and the RAVE act

-- gabbneb, Thursday, January 3, 2008 8:30 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Obama NEVER comes off as a narcissist.

See, now, that's exactly what I always thought he was. A movement narcissist. You're either with him or against him, and I've just never gotten it. I don't see any of the other Dem candidates that way.

-- daria-g, Friday, January 4, 2008 4:01 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Link

what's a "movement narcissist"?

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Friday, January 4, 2008 4:02 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Link

ever dated a dancer, alfred?

-- gff, Friday, January 4, 2008 4:03 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/goodfriends.jpg
-- Tracer Hand, Friday, 4 January 2008 18:53 (1 hour ago) Link

yeslol

OMG Hillary's expression

yes yes lol (yes lol)
who got the vibe it's the tribe lol (tribe lol)

ah sinbad, a refreshing new breed of comedian. finally.

-- s1ocki, Friday, January 4, 2008 5:53 PM (24 minutes ago)

lol xp

the entirety of the "no cougar jokes please" thread.

ned raggett is no donut, filled with sweet sweet jelly though he may be

-- elmo argonaut, Friday, January 4, 2008 8:54 PM

A vision.

Mild, but effective lols:

i have a lifetime supply of prevacid from my dr if you end up needing something like that, btw.

-- lauren, Friday, January 4, 2008 9:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Worst game show ever

-- nabisco, Friday, January 4, 2008 9:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Sogn og Fjordane / knows how to party
Lillehammer / knows how to party
In the city / the city of Tromso
Drammen, Skien / know how to party

-- nabisco, Friday, January 4, 2008 11:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Sandefjord always up to no good

-- J0rdan S., Friday, January 4, 2008 11:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Even Flekkefjord trying to get a piece, baby.

-- Dom Passantino, Friday, January 4, 2008 11:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

movement narcissist cracked me up, esp. since i plenty of dancers

um, since i KNOW plenty...

Coming Soon:
http://cover6.cduniverse.com/MuzeAudioArt/Large/34/1011634.jpg

-- Rockist Scientist, Monday, December 31, 2007 3:22 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Link

I was e-mailed that Putumayo pic. Oh brother.

-- curmudgeon, Friday, January 4, 2008 11:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Los trustafarianos.

-- Rockist Scientist, Saturday, January 5, 2008 6:06 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

lol @ "Norway Love"

movement narcissist cracked me up, esp. since i (knew) plenty of dancers

-- Surmounter, Saturday, January 5, 2008 2:13 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah, memories...

(from the Robin Williams thread):

Who did he play in "To Wong Foo"? I don't remember him in that.

-- Rock Hardy, Saturday, 5 January 2008 20:55 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

He was Wesley Snipes.

-- HI DERE, Saturday, 5 January 2008 22:05 (40 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2041/2170132902_16d22cb785_o.jpg

-- Kerm, Saturday, January 5, 2008 4:15 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

holy shit

best since cuttyhorse.jpg!

i think ned and dan in the car possibly still beats this, but it's close

guys where are those two so we can do a deathmatch faceoff poll

Go nuts:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1244/1138987814_c4d28863bf.jpg

haha

OMMFG

What thread did I recently see Nedlamb on? I have humphry_and_ned.jpg and nedstorch.jpg if anyone wants those. Do we need a full out Nedshop contest/poll?

i love nedstorch.jpg

plz post that here bcuz that was a late nite thread and def overlooked in the cannon of nedshop masterworks.

Didn't someone remark once that Ned would be great in the role of a guest appearance on the Simpsons? I couldn't agree more. Plus it would rescue that show from suckitude, even if only for one episode.

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/3724/nedstorchmc0.jpg

YES A+++

We need a thread to collect these

Who made the car one?

the nedlamb is from the "WDYLL if you GIS your name" thread. it was the fourth hit on a GIS of 'rubyredd'

also caek: OTM!!

I DIED did the me and Dan in the car one.

I'm trying to remember the first of these all that time back. Either Emined or me on the cover of Justin Timberlake's first album (new title -- 'Neducated')

melting-face ned blowing my mind

NEDSHOP

haha "Neducated"

My god, that Dan/Ned car pic is killing me.

Man this is confusing! I'm half listening to the radio, and they're saying something about the Georgia caucus, and then they say Saakashvili has won! Turns out, they said Georgia in the Caucasus. :-/

-- StanM, Sunday, 6 January 2008 09:13 (10 hours ago) Link

oh I forgot he's a kid. whatever. suck it up punks in my day owning a computer meant hauling 23 lbs of CRT back and forth every semester. now you got what, flatscreens? unix on the desktop? eat shit, whippersnappers

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 7 January 2008 05:48 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

eat shit and DIE

-- El Tomboto, Monday, 7 January 2008 05:48 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

hardman

oldman

you don't even know what CRT stands for, do you? You have to look it up. Punk ass yung'n

you probably think the guy who invented chicken nuggets is rich

hauling 23 lbs of CRT

strongman

will guess at: computer response terminal

colossal robot technology

CRT, yeah you know me
I got cathode ray tube-nology

crap reaction time

pardon?

weeeeeeeeeeey

COCK RING TIGHTENER

CHOAD RASH TALC

carefully rinsed toes

constipated raddish terrine

CUNTY RUBBER TITS

I'll crawl back into the shadows now, good riddance, "gabbneb."

-- amateurist, Sunday, January 6, 2008 4:59 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

he was serious, too!!

guys when i got my busted desktop i had to haul a CRT up 3 flights of stairs. it was some bullshit.

am i to understand that the weight of the monitor made made moving it an unpleasant experience?

i had to carry two of the fuckers when moving yesterday. not at once obv

23 lbs is killing you guys?

When did a fatto like me become Hercules?

lol

homie u have seen me, i am a weakling

Otmrags

small hoos

23 lbs is hardly heavy lifting.

it's more akwrd than heavy. if you have one of those guys the last thing you wnt to do is get hand prints all over the fucker.

Yeah, that makes sense.

yeah with CRTs the main problem is that you have this big heavy chunk of glass fucking up your center of gravity + the sheer bulk from front-to-back. the inconvenience of moving such a device comes from a combination of factors, the sum of which is greater than euclidean calculations would have you believe

tell us more

they're pretty strictly film school nowadays, aren't they? do design workers still use them for the better color fidelity or did LCDs catch up?

roxy how did you get such a crush on me

i don't know, probably impressed with your post count

lotsa design people still swearing by them, but calibration on LCDs is getting gooderer

excelsior!

They're heavier at the front too. Some have dumb handles which don't take this into account, and that is when you go backwards down the stairs and DIE.

xp oh shit this is the excel thread

I'm laughing.

me and a coworker caused a big stink because they wanted to give us flat screens when they were replacing all the comptuers. the main problem is you cannot detect colour hues so well in the black/dark ares as you can with crts - which, when you work in production, is kind of important.

roxy how did you get such a crush on me

-- El Tomboto, Sunday, January 6, 2008 11:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

i don't know, probably impressed with your post count

-- roxymuzak, Sunday, January 6, 2008 11:34 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

he is clearly confusing me with abbott

shut UP!

A lot of people confuse us. It's ok.

ladies, ladies - have you checked out my post count this month?

El Tomboto 288
jhøshea 284

fite

If you can manage to post four more times, then I will speak to you.

*tosses hair while spinning back around to Abbott, slamming locker*

i blame iowa (1)

No one was supposed to know about my feelings.

Then maybe next time don't post your wet dreams about him on ILDreams, dude!!

I have wet dreams about everyone, erotic or not. Is this uncommon?!>?!>!

Dude and yeah I knew it was pretty obv, sorry Tombot if this is weird.

these post stats are pretty hot. i'm glad this thread has gone back into imagibation material. it's a brilliant full circle

He can handle it.

lolmg link plz!

it's not like it's as awkward as a CRT monitor

explain

colonic rim torturer

sometimes it is, depending on pants/ambient temperature

it's a brilliant full circle

a circle jerk...

when you leave a picture of trayce's head photoshopped onto a naked body on your desktop on a CRT monitor to masturbate to it everyday eventually it'd get permanently burnt onto the screen due to phosphor burn-in which gets embarrassing when other people use your computer.

xxxxpost

xxxx post

OMG P.S. TRAYCE WAS JUST PICKED BY RANDOM AS AN EXAMPLE

Hey come on, whats wrong with my actual bod?

more embarassing, perhaps, than euclidean calculations led you to believe

YEAH SURE IT WAS KEN SURE IT WAS *glare*

i don't get to see it naked?

xxpost

The Original Rock Box Set: 54 Utterly Brilliant Guitar Classics!

I hate it when you can actually taste the swede in a cornish pasty. Does that make me a bad person?

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 7 January 2008 14:42 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

not THAT...

-- blueski, Monday, 7 January 2008 14:43 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

only 17,000 people bought tickets to see justice that night, but every one of them went out and started a blog

-- and what, Monday, January 7, 2008 5:11 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Morbs on a grumpy-rampage today

-- remy bean, Monday, January 7, 2008 4:20 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i call it a grumpage

-- Dr Morbius, Monday, January 7, 2008 4:20 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ha hahaha

i drink diet soda

-- latebloomer, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:19 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

prissy bitch

-- remy bean, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:20 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

dont even get me started on people that drink capri sun.

-- chaki, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:29 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

capri sun is pretty good frozen

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:29 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this lead to me microwaving a bag

oops

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:30 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Dan looks shorter than he is in the picture because he's sort of receding in the background. Also, I can't explain John's chin or any of the fashion choices.

-- Sara R-C, Monday, January 7, 2008 6:34 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

those eeePCs have like a 7 inch screen! my dick is bigger than that!

-- DG, Sunday, 6 January 2008 18:20 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

pix

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 6 January 2008 18:31 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

You are in I Love Music.

Ned Raggett is here.

> get raggett

Taken.

>

-- Autumn Almanac, Monday, January 7, 2008 7:19 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the thread police they come to me in my thread

-- tipsy mothra, Friday, January 4, 2008 8:40 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

It rhymes you see?

unperson goes home to his wife all "oh shit, i'm gonna exotify you so hard!!"

-- roxymuzak, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 02:41 (1 hour ago) Link

Okay that text adventure one.

wtf lol xp

hoos:

Yeah, well, I'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so the flowers of indie rock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to me, and always have. The indie world's concept of sexy is very closely related to its concept of "rock": limp, non-threatening, far more interested in talking than fucking.

-- unperson, Monday, January 7, 2008 7:51 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

ban sasha frere jones

IKR

what the fuck is this, all seinfeld dude noo yawka fun board & cafeteria table

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 07:56 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

larry craig blew this conversation into a facial tissue eight years ago

-- El Tomboto, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 07:57 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

As my father used to always say, 'the masses are asses'.

-- Barb e., Tuesday, January 1, 2008 5:17 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

hoos international OH MY GOD

ok just totally lost my shit at I Am Totally Against The Creation Of New Threads too

i envied the father of the house, who i knew was about to light a cigar, prop his feet up, watch the television with the sound turned down, and fall asleep.

-- Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 16:53 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whilst receiving a blow job

-- ken c, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 16:54 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

As my father used to always say, 'the masses are asses'.

-- Barb e., Tuesday, January 1, 2008 5:17 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

Barb's father was Pinochet??

grimly you must be one of those PC guys who're always keepin the diceman down

-- J0hn D., Tuesday, January 8, 2008 1:20 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you've never seen him?

no: i know the guy. i'd just forgotten all about him, thank fuck. ISTR he would occasionally crop up on "edgy" C4 programmes in the UK in the late eighties or early nineties, being an absolutely loathsome tool.

xpost: yeh, heh, that's me. actually, damn, if i can take any credit at all for "keeping him down" (and i don't think sitting in front of the telly with my dad some 20 years ago going: "fuck me, this guy's shit, isn't he?" really counts, but hey) then rack it up.

-- grimly fiendish, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 1:23 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

hoos international

now beyond all doubt, thread of the fucking year

could someone explain?

you know what - nevermind.

Ha, I had severe olecranon bursitis recently. If it swells up and you can feel fluid, then the best thing is to wait for it to go down. Maybe take some antiseptic just in case. Also, threaten your coworkers with puncture and release. They'll love you for it.

-- Just got offed, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 10:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

do you type a lot?

-- Jordan, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 10:32 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

i manage to fill up planners with some seriously mundane stuff mixed with a fair amount of wtf - i can't remember a lot of things without writing them down, and even then i have my doubts

-- rrrobyn, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 5:34 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

if all the important things in life that i needed to remember came in the form of a really fucked up visceral scene in a horror movie, well then i wouldn't need a planner

-- rrrobyn, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 5:37 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

'dentist appointment 10am!! raaahljkfdklsfj killer zombie chilren'

i guess you'd get desensitized eventually tho

-- rrrobyn, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 5:39 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

We need a thread for what the hell to put in 43 folders

-- Autumn Almanac, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 12:24 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

botw

-- El Tomboto, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 12:25 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

We need a thread for what the hell to put in the other 38 folders

-- Autumn Almanac, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 1:05 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

dear mr. rabin-- i renege that i tried to talk drama at u, & i respect ur writing most of the time & often reminisce abt that time you got deep into dave eggers' mindstate
-- luriqua, Saturday, February 24, 2007 2:53 PM (10 months ago) Bookmark Link

looooooooool

yeh, but i was intrigued by tubgirl. for a fraction of a second.

-- grimly fiendish, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 18:20

9.00 Grimly Fiendish
New ensemble comedy follows misadventures of internet addict. See Picks. (S) (AD) 6584

9.30 Tubgirl
Projectile diarrhea. See Picks. (S) (AD) 80381

-- M.V., Tuesday, 8 January 2008 19:08 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

lol

the 'hang out with' factor tips it for the food people -- IF they're like kitchen-bod foodie types and not restaurant habitues. every now and again you might get a pretty great meal. what do you get hanging with grammar pedants? a sore jaw from gritting your teeth every time you want to deck the sob

-- gff, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 3:43 PM

s.o.b. you mean

-- J0hn D., Wednesday, January 9, 2008 3:46 PM

automatic windows, power locks, tru-coat paint

-- and what, Monday, 7 January 2008 18:34 (2 days ago) Link

and a racing stripe to make america go faster

-- and what, Monday, 7 January 2008 18:34 (2 days ago) Link

the canadian comics hall of fame will give lynn their highest award next year at the wright awards

-- anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, September 27, 2006 5:37 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
...unless one man can stop them.

-- s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, September 27, 2006 12:48 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

I'm 24 now but will I live to be 24? The way things are going I don't know.

-- Abbott, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 18:56 (5 hours ago)

well doen

I thought Dom was like 19.

-- Abbott, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 11:39 PM

ILX CHALLENGE: Find the most messed-up Livejournal slash fiction community

not as bad as "journey to the center of the earth" by wakeman, but his solo career is just another world of suck, he's not even fucking human i swear.

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 10 January 2008 12:47 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I would like to see a Geir Hongro Back to Mine.

-- Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:43 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

I would like to see Geir Hongro's back to mine.

-- VIC MACKEY (nordicskilla), Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:45 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

I would like to see Geir Hongro's back stabbed 79 times with a carving knife.

-- Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, March 18, 2005 2:38 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

I can only watch the video with the sound off. The way she pronounces "intuitSHAWWWWWN" makes me too angry.
-- Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, July 15, 2003 3:09 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

alex cereal makes you too angry
-- Josh (Josh), Tuesday, July 15, 2003 3:12 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

"because nothing says FUN and COMFORT like the mental juxtaposition of SHOWERS and DEADLY GASES"

-- nabisco, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 18:56 (Yesterday) Link

"it's a literal holocaust ... on germs and body odors!"

-- nabisco, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 18:58 (Yesterday) Link

28

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 10 January 2008 19:02 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

tuomas wtf

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 10 January 2008 19:08 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

seriously

-- J0rdan S., Thursday, 10 January 2008 19:09 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

by all accounts you should be struggling in some urban area and acting demoralized about the time and money you spent on postgraduate study at that age. instead, you're tuomas. fucking finland. of all the countries to make brooklyn look bad. finland. tuomas. oh what do I care.

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, 10 January 2008 19:10 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

omg

how come 'the media' has become a singular noun?

-- braveclub, Thursday, 10 January 2008 12:46 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

It's a funny old game, son.

-- Madchen, Thursday, 10 January 2008 13:18 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

what's with this "legacy of smiles"

this looks awful, sub 9/11-footage-fear movie

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, January 9, 2008 9:11 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

"sub-9/11"??

-- s1ocki, Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:09 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

yes, "sub-9/11" as in a lame replica of the real thing

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:17 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

you think this is going to be worse than the original 9/11?

-- s1ocki, Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:17 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Okay actually pretty much everything after that in the cloverfield thread is fucking golden.

omg wau

The first thing MySpace needs to do with their millions is purge themselves of fake users. And delete friend whores.

-- Wrinklepaws

That would reduce my friend count to 0, Wrinklepaws.

-- moley, Thursday, 10 January 2008 21:04 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

what is "wtf tuomas" from

ILE holy shit u people old/young thread

I admire the way they are trying to innovate by launching a Soap starring heterosexual Jason Donovan and Martine McCutcheon.

-- Noodle Vague, Thursday, 10 January 2008 23:24 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Well, it's not been done before.

Is JD playing someone who does surfing and that?

-- Mark G, Thursday, 10 January 2008 23:27 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Jason Donovan does not do "that" and he has won the court case to prove it.

-- Noodle Vague, Thursday, 10 January 2008 23:28 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

my sweet chumpylumps

-- Just got offed, Thursday, 10 January 2008 21:46 (14 minutes ago) Link

That is the grossest pet name I've heard in a while of whiles.

-- Abbott, Thursday, 10 January 2008 21:47 (13 minutes ago) Link

I thought it was the name of the new Black Eyed Peas song.

-- Herman G. Neuname, Thursday, 10 January 2008 21:48 (12 minutes ago) Link

i can see that as an achewood strip, actually

-- Just got offed, Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:41 PM (Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:41 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i blew a friends' mind recently by pronouncing that comic's name like "ake-wood" because he always said "ash-wood" like jordache jeans

another friend thought it was "jord-ake" jeans because they made your jord ache

-- Will M., Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:43 PM (Thursday, January 10, 2008 5:43 PM) Bookmark Link

gOS is a variant of the Ubuntu Gutsy Gibbon distro, as far as I can tell. Xandros is a commercial variant of a broader Debian release (Edgy, maybe?). The latter uses hyperthreading multihoovering technology to cut down the user experience and Fitts fewer objects on the screen, with a cormalescent slidepro mechanism at the bottom of the screen to increase real estate potential. gOS relies heavily on Aqua-like appearance and functionality to meet the user halfway whilst including more robust package management and cron job/kernel psychosis processing with ultra flange mootability in the outer fringes of silicon jarring fackshnog I HOPE THIS IS HELPING TO PUTT YOU AT EASE ABBOTT.

-- Autumn Almanac, Thursday, January 10, 2008 11:44 PM

A man went into a pub with a box under his arm. He approached the bar and said to the landlord "I'm sorry, mate, I haven't got any money on me, but I've got something amazing in this box. If I show it to you, will you give me a pint?". "Well, it better be really amazing," the landlord replies. The bloke opens up the box to reveal a tiny man, exactly one foot high, sat playing some highly intricate music on a miniature grand piano. "That's fucking incredible," says the landlord, "let me buy you a drink."

So he gives him a pint and they get talking. The landlord asks him how he came by this miniature pianist and the man tells him that a genie granted his wish. He produces an old lamp from his pocket and says "rub this and whisper your wish into the lamp and you'll get what you desire, too." So the landlord takes the lamp, rubs it, whispers inside and suddenly the pub is filled with a million ducks. "Brilliant," says the landlord, "that's exactly what I wanted." "Yep, me too," replies the man, "I'm certainly delighted to have this one-foot-tall piano player."

-- Nasty, Brutish & Short, Friday, 11 January 2008 00:13 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

lol at "fackshnog"

^^^^

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:41 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

^this

-- omar little, Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

omar little otm

-- Dom Passantino, Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

so tru, dom

-- roxymuzak, Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

^^^well done

-- omar little, Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

omar totally on the mark

-- max, Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

max hangin' on the flippety flop

-- n/a, Thursday, January 10, 2008 7:43 PM

ZahiraBellydancer (1 day ago) +1
Reply | Spam
It's always great to get bellydancing into the mainstream, but this is a perfect example of what is NOT a bellydancer and the fight we always have to deal with when it comes to public misconceptions. We do NOT dance with our legs open, we do NOT dance with our back ends exposed, we do NOT "club-dance" when we bellydance. Don't get me wrong - the girls look beautiful. But, again, it's simply club-dance in belldance-like attire, not bellydance.

^^^^

(as education rather than for excels value)

there are three crushes in the greater metro are i wz pressing bt they all know mandarin chinese and think i'm ignorant-- it's not a good match :C
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:03 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

none of them are asian though
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:04 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

damn i need t shut the fuck up :C
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:04 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

i like asian girls though
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:05 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

there are a lot of them on youtube
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:05 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

washing themselves
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:05 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

with soap and water
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:05 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

some of them have breast implants
-- luriqua, Friday, May 18, 2007 2:05 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

My Mother in Law is so fat that we're actually desperately worried about her health. She finds even basic tasks incredibly difficult due to the stress placed upon her respiratory system. Yesterday she collapsed but due to the many layers of adipose tissue the paramedics were unable to manually stimulate her lungs. She may die.

-- Matt, Tuesday, June 11, 2002 1:00 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

(!)

i remember the first time I heard Nick Drake...not his music, just the words, "Nick" and "Drake" placed back-to-back. It was one of those moments one does not forget. I overheard the name "Nick Drake" murmured by a fellow passenger on the monorail, he spoke in the hushed tones of a wounded elk. Upon hearing the name, I immediately felt a wave of delicious sorry-for-myselfosity trickle down my spine. It reminded me of that sorry day, when I was 11 years old when my father gave me a blue bicycle for my birthday instead of the red one I had pined for. I knew someone with a name as sad as Nick Drake would feel that pain. I wrapped my long striped scarf a little tighter 'round my pencil-like neck that day, and hung my head a little lower. On the way home from the station, i bawled like a mewling infant so vociferously that the girls of the village felt compelled to break with tradition and ask me to marry them to which I could only reply, "Fat chance." from that day forward Nick Drake was my guiding light and inspiration and also helps me impress chicks. One of these days I shall listen to his records.

-- Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, October 3, 2003 1:51 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

brilliant!

what was that all-time yoga-flame utter-omg-wins-at-life fritz post that got bumped about 4-5 months ago?

The nuclear waste problem is bad news. Nuclear reactors make stuff that is comprehensively poisonous to just about every form of life and it stays poisonous for thousands of years. If you are responsible for making such shit, you are responsible for what happens to it.

You can't detoxify it. You can't safely dilute it. You can't store it anywhere it won't escape from eventually. And when it escapes, it's not only that some living things will die, but that a whole area on earth will die.

Massive dud.

-- Aimless, Friday, January 11, 2008 6:34 PM (Friday, January 11, 2008 6:34 PM) Bookmark Link

i nominate luton

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, January 11, 2008 6:36 PM (Friday, January 11, 2008 6:36 PM) Bookmark Link

No-one saw "What Dreams May Come" then? *That* was a stinker. A bit like watching an animated screen saver for two hours, interrupted occasionally by appearances of Robin Williams' crying face.

-- Pheeel, Friday, 11 January 2008 13:51 (5 hours ago) Link

Everyone Loves Hypnotoad reminded me too much of being at work

-- El Tomboto, Saturday, January 12, 2008 1:17 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Which bit, the noise or the toad? =)

-- Trayce, Saturday, January 12, 2008 1:18 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the entire experience. it was almost exactly like what I'm doing right now. if hypnotoad looked a little bit more like an insipid crystal reports pie chart and the millenium falcon takeoff loop sounded a little bit more like a gargantuan meat-packing-plant-grade air conditioning system it would be exactly like my job just without the keyboard in front of me.

-- El Tomboto, Saturday, January 12, 2008 1:21 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the best time to crazy glue is after a couple beers and when you are really really tired and decide you have to fix not things that really need fixing but some old thing you found in a box that is broken in its smallest part

-- rrrobyn, Saturday, January 12, 2008 5:11 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

its one way to obscure your fingerprints anyway

-- rrrobyn, Saturday, January 12, 2008 5:13 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

the crazy glue bandit

-- rrrobyn, Saturday, January 12, 2008 5:13 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Keanu IS Klaatu! THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL is the latest bullshit remake.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0970416/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Stood_Still_(2008_film)

Keanu is Klaatu! Jennifer Connelly is involved somehow!

-- kingfish, Saturday, January 12, 2008 6:07 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-- Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, January 12, 2008 6:08 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

OOOOOOOOOO0OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-- Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, January 12, 2008 6:08 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

My friend shit the bed. I broke my arm.

-- Nude Spock, Sunday, November 4, 2001 5:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link
Dude, that must have been some heavy shit!

-- Brian MacDonald, Sunday, November 4, 2001 5:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

I really hate it when I voice distaste at someone repellent like Mariah Carey and some male wit says 'oh but I bet you'd do her.'

-- Autumn Almanac, Monday, 14 January 2008 12:01 (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

because they got you there?

-- deej, Monday, 14 January 2008 12:08 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I think that if you are SO worried your man is cheating on you that you feel compelled to smell his nuts in order to prove his fidelity to yourself, your relationship is doomed (along with probably all of your future relationships).

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, November 13, 2007 10:45 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

[on Bjork attacking a photographer in NZ yesterday]:

That photographer attack thing she does is getting a little old.

-- moley, Monday, 14 January 2008 15:29 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I suspect it's linked to jetlag.

-- Autumn Almanac, Monday, 14 January 2008 15:30 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

also being crazy

-- electricsound, Monday, 14 January 2008 15:36 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I think I am over this show. Maybe they should have had CC do this season? Or did he have a reality show already?

-- gabbneb, Monday, January 14, 2008 10:53 AM (Monday, January 14, 2008 10:53 AM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"ROCK OF CRACK WITH CC DEVILLE"

-- hstencil, Monday, January 14, 2008 10:54 AM (Monday, January 14, 2008 10:54 AM) Bookmark Link

I HEARD THAT BEFORE THEY RAPED HER THEY USED A SWAN TO BREAK HER ARM AND THEN DISSOLVED IT IN COLA

-- That mong guy that's shit, Monday, 14 January 2008 11:15 (6 hours ago) Link

what

This shit has indeed already happened.

-- Pashmina, Friday, January 11, 2008 11:17 AM

i'm going to start using "that whore you like"

-- bell_labs, Monday, January 14, 2008 2:30 PM (Monday, January 14, 2008 2:30 PM) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

don't use her up

-- akm, Monday, January 14, 2008 2:31 PM (Monday, January 14, 2008 2:31 PM) Bookmark Link

nothing against the short girls themselves, i just try to avoid guys who fetishize them and their so-called "smaller vaginas"

-- bell_labs, Monday, January 14, 2008 6:08 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

let the record show that bell labs claimed that short girls have smaller vaginas, not any dude i have met.

-- Jordan, Monday, January 14, 2008 6:17 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

at least they never said it out loud.

-- Jordan, Monday, January 14, 2008 6:17 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"Lookit her, I bet sh'e packin' a thimble!"

-- HI DERE, Monday, January 14, 2008 6:18 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

wau

bell labs is the master at projecting.

oh that thimble line.

I had a waaaaay strange dream about Fred Durst. He was rigged up and suspended in some kind of (non-kinky) harness thing. I wasn't really 'there', but I observed him being lowered through some kind of wooden trap door in the floor which lead to near-Earth orbit. He was lowered and lowered and lowered until he was just a speck, and then he disappeared.

-- Michael Dudikoff presents Action Adventure Theatre, Monday, January 14, 2008 3:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I think most people have that Fred Durst dream.

-- Billy Dods, Monday, January 14, 2008 3:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i don't really see what you're getting at chaki

lol @ durst dream!!

When I was in high school my best friend was this girl, and all of her boyfriends were jealous of me. Once at a party one of them even ran to a room where I was having sex with a girl, because he thought I was there sexing with her! You'd think one would have enough trust in his girlfriend not to think she's cheating him with her bloody best friend?!

(x-post)

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, January 15, 2008 2:57 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Huh.

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, January 15, 2008 2:59 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

I went off Kirsten Dunst altogether when someone pointed out she looks like Billy Corgan with hair and breasts.

-- Matt DC, Tuesday, January 15, 2008 8:30 AM (Tuesday, January 15, 2008 8:30 AM) Bookmark Link

ILX TIME MACHINE

Really fucking embarassed at how much I'm lolling at this thread.

It works! There's no reason why it should.

seriously, i would give my third nut for a dockable macbook air/imac

-- ^@^, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 16:50 (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

deal

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 16:51 (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

39. Feeling really unwell and foggy brained when i need to be at my sharpest to apply for jobs cos me and my bf are both out of work and we just paid rent with the last of our main money so now have one month to get a job or ... fuck knows.

-- Trayce, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 14:36 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

wo that's awful

-- HI DERE, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 15:30 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Yikes, that sucks. So sorry to hear!

-- Sara R-C, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 15:33 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Yeah I'm not panicking... yet. I can always get the dole but its not much. Ugh ugh ugh.

-- Trayce, Tuesday, 15 January 2008 17:52 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

trayce needs to have triplets to score big AUS baby bonus

-- sunny successor, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 04:01 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

from MAN KILLS DUCK

No mention of the kind of duck it was.

-- Sparkle Motion, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:31 AM (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yes that will affect sentencing

-- gff, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:55 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

hate crime

-- J0rdan S., Wednesday, January 16, 2008 2:59 AM

There's a legendary instance of L. Ron H*bbard, the crazed psuedoguru himself, claiming that one could measure the pain plants felt. There's a photograph showing him looking gravely concerned at the fate of a tomato plant.

-- Ned Raggett, Saturday, 8 December 2001 12:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

I was arrested at 4am for public urination by the NYPD

Pissing on a tree is an arrestable offence in NY? Jesus, I didn't know that. I was pissing on a New York tree myself at 5am last night! Seems I've had a lucky escape!

-- JimD, Tuesday, January 15, 2008 9:18 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

That's what you think...

-- NYPD, Tuesday, January 15, 2008 9:20 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

lolol

I can't believe how many posthumous Britney albums there have been.

-- Eric H., Wednesday, 16 January 2008 17:34

la hipsters are the worst because they are from everywhere else but la.

that kind of shit is waaaay worse in nyc

-- gershy, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 10:30 AM (19 minutes ago)

why hello there

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 10:35 AM (14 minutes ago)

LOLZ @ that, and at the NYPD

Ghost World is even sadder now.

-- I know, right?, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 12:36 PM

but not actually any better

-- and what, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 12:40 PM (6 minutes ago)

hahaha OTM

What thread is that from?

r.i.p. brad renfro

Brad Renfro is dead?? Wait, I'll start a thread.

*obligatory Brad shoulda shared his stash with andwhat joke*

wishing someone had heroin = zing?

i was gonna say, no one was obliged to make that "joke"

Mr Nice by Howard Marks - if you can't sell weed properly your an idiot
Stoned by Andrew Loog Oldham - nice pants, twat

-- badg, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 22:22 (33 minutes ago) Link

your an idiot

Nobodys perfect.

-- jim, Thursday, 17 January 2008 09:25 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

who the fuck walks in to a girl's house on a first date, picks up a book of poems and starts reading?
-- milo z, Thursday, 17 January 2008 02:23 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dudes who GET some milo
-- gff, Thursday, 17 January 2008 02:24 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Cave diving is perceived as one of the more dangerous sports in the world. This perception is arguable because the vast majority of divers who have lost their lives in caves have either not undergone specialized training or have had inadequate equipment for the environment.

^^ what the hell with this logic

-- nabisco, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

"amateurs"

-- gbx, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

"Getting shot is perceived as dangerous. This perception is arguable, because the vast majority of people who had died from getting shot were not wearing bulletproof materials over the parts of their bodies they got shot in."

-- nabisco, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

wise words!

"my name is legion for I am many" - ring a bell to you ghouls? Did you think the devil would come with horns a'glowering? It'll take more than internet jerkwaderry to bring the Tombot down. You'll have to come and find me. I'll be waiting. Garlic's in the fridge. Sons of jackals, yeah, you'd like to believe. I know better. Bring it, you sad passel of machine imps

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, January 17, 2008 2:36 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

*stuffs old t-shirt into handle of rum*

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, January 17, 2008 2:37 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

The next line makes it even better:

mikey stop posting as tombot

-- electricsound, Thursday, 17 January 2008 21:44 (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

David Duchovny looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Eeiree.

-- chap, Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:31 AM (30 minutes ago)

Scully sure looked different in that Idi Amin thing.

-- Oilyrags, Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:50 AM (10 minutes ago)

that was forest whitaker.

-- s1ocki, Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:56 AM

http://www.prolifedave.com/images/ProLifeDave-logo1a.jpg
http://www.southend.ac.uk/dave/graphics/Dave_logo.jpg

oops wrong thread

no it not

if you spent your money on clothes, you would quite literally be rolling in it

-- n/a, Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:08 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you happened to be rolling around for some reason

-- n/a, Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:09 PM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

The richest-motherfucker thread is getting great.

i would make such a good rich person because i would spend my money on useful objects like a device that allows goth people to float around creepily

-- homosexual II, Thursday, January 17, 2008 4:49 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

---------------------

I use Michael Jackson's original nose to grind my bread.

-- Dimension 5ive, Thursday, January 17, 2008 4:51 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Just coming to post Mandee's!

Tim Burton is going to give her a grant.

So did that $1000/CD deal ever work out for Marissa?

-- nickalicious, Thursday, January 17, 2008 11:12 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Cuz if I charged that for every CD I've sold in the past year I would have like two grand!

-- nickalicious, Thursday, January 17, 2008 11:12 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I hear if you run a shitty poster through a brita filter four or five times they taste exactly like a top shelf poster

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, January 17, 2008 11:44 PM (6 minutes ago)

But that's not what this thread is about. This thread is about the fact that I pay William Safire to come to my house and read "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" transcripts to me while I take a bath.

-- Rock Hardy, Friday, January 18, 2008 12:14 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the fact that you thought of that, even as a joke, is alarming

-- nabisco, Friday, January 18, 2008 12:15 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

at the end when it cuts straight to black and the "IRAQ MUCH?" title card comes up... chills.

-- s1ocki, Thursday, January 17, 2008 9:07 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

lolol

If you want to know what it sounds like, Louis it's basically someone failing to do an impression of him out of Maximo Park over this shit shit shit shit shit shit piano-led pop-punk thing. The chorus goes "She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's so luv-a-ly/She's pretty/twitty/this song's so shitty/someone block my face up with a pillow full of sick" (I wish). And then surprise surprise, she's got some boyfriend or other. Then there's a line where the singer wonders what the object of his desire looked like ten years ago. Considering he's probably in his early 20s, this is grounds to have his cock and balls kicked off by Eric Cantona. Mind you, he's probably safe since the "girl" in the video looks like she ought to be on some kind of MILF site. Then there's another bit where he sings: "I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/I think that you are luv-lay/Somebody shove a rusty telescope up my waste gate NOOOOW".

-- the next grozart, Tuesday, 28 August 2007 16:25 (4 months ago) Bookmark Link

ha, what movie is that slocki quote about?

Notable things about The Chronic:

-Dre would go on to use the beat from "Fuck Wit Dre Day" approximately 3454343 more times

-"Let Me Ride" is the perfect 'cruising' tune

-They managed to put out a song involving the events of April 29, 1992, which really said little at all....yet you don't care because the beat is so cool.

-"Deez Nuts" features a great Daz guest, and a nice Nate Dogg moment

-The 20,000 Sack pyramid is hilarious but it's sad to hear what The D.O.C. sounds like after his vocal cords were crushed

-"Nothin but a G Thang" is played out

-Dre is a better producer than he is a rapper

-"Stranded on Death Row" is a great group joint

-The album is still enjoyable to this day

-- Bo Jackson Overdrive, Friday, January 18, 2008 6:22 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Notable things about The Sky:

-It is blue.

-There are clouds in it.

-Clouds feature some great animal shapes. One looks like a horse.

-"Precipitation" is played out

-It is pretty.

-The sky is still enjoyable to this day

-- Bo Jackson Overdrive, Saturday, January 19, 2008 2:22 AM

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, January 18, 2008 9:41 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

If it's not clear there, the second post is HOOS doing a parody of BJO's post.

noted

wau wau wau hoos

(ducks quack gently)

HOOS OTM, I'm still enjoying the sky.

In what sort of bizarre universe do you

-Take a girl to an art museum
-Take her dancing
-Wind up dancing with her AND another hot woman
-Go home with both of them
-Go nude skinny dipping
-Wind up naked in a hot tub drunk fondling breasts

and STILL not get laid???

-- Hurting 2, Saturday, 19 January 2008 20:49 (31 minutes ago) Link

dude that is me age 19-21

-- gr8080, Saturday, 19 January 2008 20:52

20. my secret name for sara is night nurse

-- estela, Saturday, 19 January 2008 10:18 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

That sounds incredibly sinister, and therefore I approve.

-- Sara R-C, Saturday, 19 January 2008 10:19 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

before you find out where it's from it's important that you know i like you.

-- estela, Saturday, 19 January 2008 10:26 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

10. there is a baby dainty green tree frog sitting on top of my gate, it is as small as a magic bean but has a bold facial expression, i think it doesn't know how very little it is <3<3

-- estela, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 10:14 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Link

more on the 'bold facial expression' please

-- Autumn Almanac

"if i have to, i can do anything
i am strong
i am invincible
i am phibian"

-- estela, Saturday, 19 January 2008 12:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

We are a small, crowded nation and only have room for small records in our little houses.

-- Alba, Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:25 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

same reason they have 6 episode series

-- cutty, Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:28 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

and 3 minute shags

-- Noodle Vague, Sunday, January 20, 2008 11:38 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Wilco

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 January 2008 13:25 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

blurrg soaaap bllarr toilet paper nnrrg dish detergent

-- rrrobyn, Sunday, January 20, 2008 8:58 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

xpost that was zombies talking

-- rrrobyn, Sunday, January 20, 2008 8:58 PM (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

That Jumble was...

-- James Redd and the Blecchs, Monday, January 21, 2008 2:06 AM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

THAW-SOME!

-- James Redd and the Blecchs, Monday, January 21, 2008 2:06 AM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Sorry. Maybe thread title should now have the words "Jumble Spoiler" added.

-- James Redd and the Blecchs, Monday, January 21, 2008 2:08 AM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Full disclosure: my wife is in charge of market research for Cialis in Germany.

So I can't add anything to this thread, although I'd like to.

-- Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, February 17, 2004 11:42 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

oh god I phe4ar what the germans will do with this horrible weapon.

-- teeny (teeny), Tuesday, February 17, 2004 11:45 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

Jim: Hold thumbs
Trayce: Hold thumbs

-- Autumn Almanac, Monday, 21 January 2008 14:05 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

Thumb up butt?

-- Trayce, Monday, 21 January 2008 14:17 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

..I'm sorry, I think not working is messing with my mind.

-- Trayce, Monday, 21 January 2008 14:17 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

thumb up butt, DIGITAL media, it's all making sense now

-- haitch, Monday, 21 January 2008 14:56 (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

heavens

-- S-, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:12 (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Ew.

-- Trayce, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:14 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I am going to start referring to my butt as my "media" now.

-- edwardo, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:15 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

well why not, I'm sure kylie does!

-- Trayce, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:19 (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i'm going to go perform a media exchange

-- electricsound, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:21 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Can you give us a media digest jim?

-- moley, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:22 (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

way ahead of you there

-- electricsound, Monday, 21 January 2008 15:26 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i barely know what urkel is
-- Poundstretcher (nordicskilla), Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:11 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Miryam totally looks like this ex-schoolmate of a friend I used to have a crush on. (That's a compliment.)

-- Tuomas, Monday, January 21, 2008 1:28 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Er, to make it more clear, I had a crush on the schoolmate, not the friend.

-- Tuomas, Monday, January 21, 2008 1:29 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Wait, actually I had a crush on the friend too, before we became friends.

-- Tuomas, Monday, January 21, 2008 1:30 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I'm hopeless.

-- Tuomas, Monday, January 21, 2008 1:30 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

dude needs to buy a TV instead of living in a TV show

i like the title, still has an air of mystery even after you've seen it.

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 21 January 2008 13:55 (21 minutes ago) Link

ya, like "why the fuck did they pick such a lame title??"

-- s1ocki, Monday, 21 January 2008 13:58 (18 minutes ago) Link

i didn't like the title.

-- s1ocki, Monday, 21 January 2008 13:58 (18 minutes ago) Link

forget it jake, it's cloverfield.

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 21 January 2008 14:00 (16 minutes ago) Link

remy on this thread:

in every 'new yorker' short story ever...

You know that's not a real baby in that second pic, right latebloomer?

-- Pleasant Plains, Monday, January 21, 2008 4:20 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

i have...limited experience with children

-- latebloomer, Monday, January 21, 2008 4:21 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

fake ones, real ones, it's all ok as long as don't drop 'em amirite?

-- latebloomer, Monday, January 21, 2008 4:22 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

if romney is doing "who let the dogs out" this year, then i guess we'll have to wait till 2016 for some candidate to make a lame reference to "crank dat {soulja boy)."

-- Eisbaer, Monday, 21 January 2008 21:38 (1 hour ago) Link

'senator mccain, let me ask you - how do we superman the hoe?'

-- and what, Monday, 21 January 2008 21:46 (1 hour ago) Link

Yeah, it's very Bauhaus in tone and delivery...except there's just something missing. Urgency? Sinisterness? Not sure.

-- Johnny Fever, Monday, January 21, 2008 2:12 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you

-- Mackro Mackro, Monday, January 21, 2008 3:40 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

From the "Act that everyone hates" on ILX

Did we do this? I know the opposite doesn't work, but I believe this has a better chance to work. It must be some adult contemporary act though, as they are the ones that "popists" and "rockists" unite on hating.
"Popists" always part with the kids, and have never had much interest in defending mainstream MOR acts with appeal mainly to housewives in their 50s.

-- Geir Hongro, Tuesday, 22 January 2008 10:28 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought the opposite did work, and he was James Brown? Cant find the thread to link to though

-- Thomas, Tuesday, 22 January 2008 10:40 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I HATE James Brown!

-- Geir Hongro, Tuesday, 22 January 2008 11:03 (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

....

(lightin' the very short blue touchpaper...)