what the heck this thing on my neck

lymph node

goiter?

Adam's Apple?

chaki do you:

eat much fish?
eat salty stuff? (not sea salt/kosher salt, just like bags of chips and things)
have a sore throat or trouble swallowing?

ingrown hair?
lymph node is probably right tho, are you getting sick?

cause it's like impossible to get a goiter in America

not much fish no. salty stuff like chips yes. no sore throat or trouble swallowing!
if lymph node:
how do i get lymph node down?! i swear my lymph nodes have been swollen before but not this huge and hard!

i have a DATE this weekend ARRRRRGGGG!

also "hard and tender" do you mean it feels hard underneath the skin and sore to the touch?

mumps

yes tom!

oh god it just secreted something!! i hope its not an alien babby :(

if it's on the right or left side of yr neck it's probably a lymph node. man, you don't want a goiter. those suck.

xpost: HUH?

plus your lymph nodes are over to the side closer to the jawbone, the thyroid is in the center

xpost que

Infected ingrown beard hair. Squeeze the pus out, put some antibiotic ointment on.

People who aren't Chaki:

http://12.160.104.230/images/images/zeet.jpg

so it sounds like a lymph node right? its on my left side beneath my jaw.

xpost omg can a ingrown hair get this big?!

FUCKING HELL

ingrown hair is possible, but i've never heard of an ingrown getting so infected...?

xpost OH FUCK NO

1. it sounds like a lymph node, but lymph nodes don't ooze.

2. Ban PP/ICKKKKKKK

Beginning of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sialolithiasis ?

you first noticed today?

it's probably not what I just linked to, that's more under the chin (that's where mine was, at least)

yesterday! and if thats what it is Stan M then i need surgery ?!?!? oh noes!!! mines uner the chin yah!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/51/Illu_quiz_hn_02.jpg/250px-Illu_quiz_hn_02.jpg

i think its where number 2 is!

do you feel any other symptoms? achey/flu-like?

nope! im good i can even sing like a motherfucker still

its probably some weird dermo thing, but maybe you should hit an urgent care clinic this wkd just to be on the safe side bro

thanks, dooders.

Number 2? That could be it, yeah. And it would require surgery indeed, but I don't think these things just show up from one day to the next. 69 OTM: let someone look at it, just in case. If it IS one of those stones and it DOES suddenly cause swelling because it completely blocks the saliva duct (mine didn't, luckily), then it can become very very dangerous very fast.

oh shit :(

oh man, chaki. i hope you're okay

yeah dude take care and holla when u can

OK, dude, I google medical shit but I usually don't ask peeps on a message boards. Like wtf do we know, right? Esp based on your description. We need pics and shit. And even then, I repeat, wtf do we know?

I can tell you one thing, you ain't pregnant.

PP YOU SICK FUCK

Also this is likely to be an infected hair follicle.

Yeah, don't panic man, just have it looked at.

I HAVE NO MEDICAL AND THE FREE CLINIC IN SF IS LIKE 3 MONTH WAIT

ILL FIGURE OUT SOMETHING THOUGH BROS :-D

my boss has an infected ingrown hair under his chin, and the thing is HUGE... chaki, you still need to get it checked out, because even if it's an ingrown hair, those infections can be dangerous and you need antibiotics.

go see a doc!!! we're worried about you!!!

get some antibacterial shit from a pharmacy, and DON'T TOUCH IT WITHOUT WASHING YOUR HANDS METICULOUSLY FIRST

also, maybe put a hot damp cloth on it, to soften it up so you can squeeze the shit out of it.

IF I DIE I WANT THIS THREAD STICKIED ON TOP OF NEW ANSWERS FOREVER. MY FINAL WISH.

I squeeze infected follicles, then wash them, then clear out any pus that leaks and put antibacterial stuff on them. Never had a follow-on problem.

I still want to punch PP in the neck for that pic.

i'm confused about the 'it excreted something' part! was this an internal or external event?
i've had swollen lymph nodes under my chin when not even feeling sick but they're like a smaller tender ball and under the skin, not pimple-like or anything

((chaki))
you will be a-ok

i like how in that pic pp posted the guy is holding up his hair as if otherwise we wouldn't be able to see the giant pus scene going on on his neck

Yeah, as a beardo who's dealt with these things occasionally, I say don't panic. Wash hands, drain/squeeze, dab Neosporin or generic equivalent on it. Even that neck-tit that PP posted wouldn't need surgery.

"neck-tit"

THANKS FOR THAT

If it just sits there and does nothing, no pain, then it's not what I had/linked to/am talking about.

If you notice it temporarily swells or starts hurting during meals (especially when swallowing), if you suddenly notice there's a little tube under your tongue that swells up during meals, then it does start to look like a salivary gland stone is forming there. (= sialolithiasis)

Still no reason to panic, I had mine for about 8 years (it only hurt every once in a while) until a dentist said I had been quite lucky and really needed to do something about it just in case, because there's always a risk it suddenly completely blocks the passage. So I had the surgery.

(just describing how it was for me, your mileage may vary - and it probably isn't that anyway)

the location of the sialolithiasis I had as well: http://www.medeco.de/typo3temp/pics/9faa0fc17f.jpg

U R WELCOME DAN

IM DYING

It's funny how "sudden," "large," "tender," and "oozing" are really the best signs when it comes to lumps, since that basically suggests some kind of minor infection in skin / follicle / ingrown / mega-zit, whatever.

Versus "I've had this lump for a while / it's deep down and I can barely feel it / it might be growing slowly" -- scariness

ahhh, nabisco. you soothe me.

FYI that is far as I will go with soothing yr oozing lump

not to take away from chaki's imminent death (i bet it's nothing serious, dude!), but what to do about razor bumps? now when i shave my beard i have, like, scars from ingrown hairs, i think. it sucks.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/kid_nation/bios/jared/photos/photo_default.jpg
"HOLY BANANA BREAD!"

# what the heck this thing on my neck [Started by chaki, last updated 13 seconds ago] 57 new answers
# Tame! That! Nipple! [Started by Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), last updated 16 seconds ago] 8 new answers

That kid Jared is one of the most hysterical human beings on Earth.

yah he's my hero. did you see him say "holy banana bread!" ??

Hahahaha I must have but even though I can't remember the circumstances, I can visualize him saying that perfectly!

Jordan they make special shaving cream for that problem, I think. I don't know what exactly it's called anymore but they made like 75% of the black dudes in my basic training flight buy it, because you have to shave just like everybody else, and they don't want people showing up to formation covered in blood.

doesn't aftershave help w/ that?

he said "holy banana bread" at the end of this clip:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YL2r2XCLNiY

but at this point it's not from the act of shaving, it's like, permanent. stupid jew hair.

OMG THAT EPISODE

WHEN HE ROLLED OUT IN THAT NEW OUTFIT I THINK I GAVE MYSELF A LAUGH HERNIA

HE IS AWESOME

yah i have a thread dedicated to him

Jared

xpost #1 - I have only seen the part where that kid gets some money and very innocently buys a hat, cane, and long coat and starts walking around like a pimp

xpost Tom, it is that Aveeno oat-based supercream, or is there something even better? (The Aveeno is not a bad start.) Alternately, J, just get a beard trimmer with really close action -- you can get up in the morning and trim the hair down to where you might be by the end of the day anyway. (If you don't mind being a little behind, I guess; lets you avoid having to mess with yr skin at all, really)

yeah, i think that is otm nabisco, i just bought a beard trimmer with that in mind. also some "bio-oil" to try to heal the skin a little bit. anyway, back to Jared and goiters.

Don't let your bump just sit there without having it looked at, there is hope, make the call!

http://i4.tinypic.com/6jkh1q9.jpg

i like how in that pic pp posted the guy is holding up his hair as if otherwise we wouldn't be able to see the giant pus scene going on on his neck

I think he's showing that small titty zit which is located between his hairs. Look closely, you can see it.

Chaki did you try to do a brazilian wax? Those are dangerous.

what>! no!

who am i supposed to call?! serious question here!

your date. maybe she's a squeezer.

I still want to punch PP in the neck for that pic.

BETTER WEAR RUBBER GLOVES!

lol, is that a pic of the back of YOUR neck?

who am i supposed to call?

A doctor, but failing that: medical student? Dentist? (mine knew a heck of a lot about this kind of thing since it's saliva-related)

haha. I was thinking a meteorologist, Stan. ;-)

GHOSTBUSTERS

SF/Oakland doesn't have any nurse-on-call helpline?

wouldn't they just say "it could be anything from an ingrown hair follicle to a saliva stone you have to come in"??? and ill be like "i dont have any money!!!!" just like i am here.

http://www.cccssf.org/education/resources.html

thnx, buddy!

No, that's not my neck.

I have been lacking in not posting photos of my colonoscopy though.

Ugh, "colon-tit"

:

(:) (:)

Where's that thread with the shitting anime tits.

BAN^

dan, i believe the search phrase you're looking for is "shitting dick nipples."

you're welcome.

boooooooooooooo!

http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=63&threadid=608

yeah, this is what I meant (still glad btw that there's a lag on loading that pic for me)

some idiot posted a fucking youtube video on my friend's facebook, of a guy with an enormous tit-zit on his jawline. he poked it and it started to practically spray shit everywhere.

seriously i almost gagged. i mean, i love squeezing my boyf's zits as much as the next girl, but that shit is just RONG.

CHAKI I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY, MY LITTLE PETAL <3

i would never let a gf pop anything on my body.

yeah that is grounds for breakup

THAT IS SO FUCKING NASTY ARGH

i have dated a couple of girls that really like to do this.WTF?

GROOMING EACH OTHER IS A SIGN OF CLOSENESS AND EMOTIONAL BOND, WELCOME TO ANIMAL KINGDOM

http://mediacommons.futureofthebook.org/videos/files/2007/03/gayorjustgayscreenshot.jpg

wana shave eachother's balls?

FORGET IT, CHAKI -- WE'RE THRU.

we were together before??! nooooooooooooooo!

WTF practically every single girl i know loves to squeeze her man's back zits. i would never ever in a million years wanna touch anyone else's but it's like some kind of primitive instinct with your partner

chaki you can't be backup-boyf is you don't let me squeeze your zits

WTF practically every single girl i know loves to squeeze her man's back zits.

wtf, is this a new zealand thing?

Nah I've done other people's before too. Not total strangers', obv, but friends'.

someone from the US back me up here!!

It's the same gene that makes them pick lint off your shirt

laurel NO - strictly boyfriends! my best friend was forced me to squeeze one on her back and it was traumatising for us both

Get yer zits out for the gals!

Squeeze my lemons till the juice runs down my spine.

first off, i dont have back zits.
second, THATS FINE. I AM NOT INTO LETTING GIRLS POP MY SHIT ANWAY THATS FUCKING GROSS.

no, i've known girls who do this in the US (but luckily haven't dated them). it's fucking gross. i knew one who picked up bfriends nose hairs while he was driving, stopped at a stop light

is it considered rude if you don’t return the favor?

excuse me PICKED

i like to do this :/

I love it, squeezings and tweezings pleasings.

http://www.loveriver.info/images/pics/macq.jpg

l-r: e.norms, b.lab

i need a gf to shave the little patch of hair on my back though plz :(

Que, I was imagining how much it would suck to constantly shed nose hairs up until yr clarification.

The macaque getting groomed there looks REALLY happy about it. Maybe that's actually some kind of macaque massage parlor

i once went out with a fellow who had a bit of a unibrow. it was a joyous day when i asked him to let me do a little work on it. then he took grooming to the extreme and bought more expensive products than i could ever fathmom purchasing.

yeah, we broke up.

is it considered rude if you don’t return the favor?

NO

NO BOYF IS TOUCHING MY ZITS.

In high school I was friends with these babely twin girls. One time I went to my friend Amy's house for a party a little early and caught one popping a zit on the other one's back.

I was actually kind of hot.

In a weird way.

(obviously)

no nabisco that's just the "is this over with I'm really trying to think about something else and not grimace horribly for fear of offending miss picky over here" face

I've made that face a lot

Man am I glad you are you telling that story and not LJ

xpost NEVER MIND

I have some back zittery plus like three eyebrow hairs that seem to think I'm a Mentat. party time.

The random long eyebrow hairs are great. I get a lot of those. My ex-girlfriend called them early wizard outcroppings.

when i was going through adolescence my dad used to pick my face, as his mother had done to him. it was pretty traumatizing and made me very self-conscious about my complexion for a long time. but i think this sort of thing gets passed through generations.

yeah I was on the metro and kept trying to brush my hair out of my eyes and thought maybe an eyelash got caught in my contact and it wouldn't come out so I go home and look in the mirror and AAAAARRRRRRRRAAARRRGHHH AAIIIIIGGGGH WTF

Yes, my mother used to squeeze my whiteheads, too. To be fair I think being the parent of a teenager is pretty gross, you're like "GOD you used to be CUTE and now I have Vesuvius-chin for a daughter??" and of course you want to get rid of that shit, it's basically a bacterial infection just hangin' around the house (then again so are teenagers?).

my parents wold never pop anything on my body because that is gross and not what parents are supposed to do. laurel: take me back.

oh shit elmo and laurel my mom did the same *shudder*

guys i'm glad i'm not the only one with a crazy moms

Chaki: let's be friends.

you got it, sista.

Hi-five, duder.

wash yr hands first, plz.

YOU GOT GOITERED!

HOLY BANANA BREAD

My mom picked at both me and my brother, but poor baby bro was way worse off than me in the dermatological department so he got the brunt of it.

I'll fess up too, I pop boyfriend's zits. I always thought it was an outgrowth of my obsession with my own skin.

lol outgrowth.

they sell ZIT POPPERS and BLACKHEAD REMOVERS at sephora now.

Also chaki it could be a boil caused by your sebaceous gland. I got one after I had jaw surgery.

THANK YOU JESSIE AND BELL_LABS

whats do i do with a boil?!!

make pasta

http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/a/images/Lance.Armstrong.7.23.05.jpg

go to the doctor and have them cut it open and drain it. if it's really sore you can put a warm washcloth on it and that'll help. It's only a boil if it has a head like a zit. because basically it's a giant zit.

also theoretically you could drain it yourself but it might not drain all the way and come back or get infected.

its not a boil! its inside of me!

This is the grossest thread on Today's ILX, and not because of that picture I posted either.

i think the boils are open when they first form. and then they harden later.

Bah, my brother had the worst acne out of all of us and my mom used to CHASE him around the house as he was running to try and prevent her from compusively squeezing his acne. She's hold him down on the bed or couch while he screamed so she could pop them. It was rly rly creepy.

Man am I glad you are you telling that story and not LJ

hehehe

noose

Chaki, it's likely a cyst. Ugly and painful, but easy as fuck for any doctor to remove. Check the free clinics, they can help.

xoxo

Yeah, I have a lot of'em. Benign. I let my doc remove one near my hairline cause I'd keep brushing against it and that hurt.

Oh yeah, it's definitely not a cold. I know, cause I watch House MD.

PP i wld like to see yr colonoscopy pics - did they give you just pics or a video? we should have a thread for people to post all hospital/doctor's office pics of their inner and outer bodies.
and then i will do part of my phd on it maybe.
no but really it wld be a great thread with a hair-splitting knife-edge balance of pleasurable/gross

I just have the pics. I was surprised to see how much my colon resembled a corrugated car-wash vacuum tube.

it's pretty crazy stuff - and it's INSIDE ALL OF US!
this is my favourite gastro site - http://www.gastrolab.info/ - partly b/c there is hilarious music with many of the videos

hey chaki it's probably a SEBACEOUS CYST. nothing to worry aboutt but it will start getting funky/gross once it's infected and oozing etc so eventually get it removed. sorry if this is redundant but my eyes glazed over.

I am writing down all these words, like sebaceous, it'll come in handy in scrabble.

Chaki is dying and all you can think of is scrabble?!

update: its A LOT smaller today!

Yeah sebaceous cyst seems likely: seems right under the skin, no zitty "head", leaks STINKY goo, and if it does, that can make it shrink. I had a huge one on my back for months that leaked goo and blood and was a royal pain and I was gonna get it cut out but then one day it emptied itself and was gone, like some kind of stinky vandal of the night.

no its not that. its a lymph node. this thread was a terrible waste.

chaki died for somebody's tiles but not mine.

sonds like a boil, i get them in winter or when i'm run down, usually where a hair root gets infected.

don't squeeze it, it'll only spread the infection. you don't want it to turn into a carbuncle with several heads. keep it clean, and try not to pick at it.

wash hands after touching it, and do housemates the favour of using separate towels for a while.

best way to get rid of quickly is to hold a very hot towel against it three or four times a day, drawing pus and infected matter out. when it starts to leak by itself, shove on a disinfectant and a plaster/bandage.

take zinc and vitamin c for a few days as well.

nice thread.

its not a boil its a lymph node! gawd!!!

i stand by it.

(but far enough away to be missed by any eruption)

NO! it's just your adam's apple you hypochondriac!!!

a leaking adam's apple?

Mmmmmm. Cider.

it didnt really leak i was exaggerating

yeah, me too. you're not really dying, you're immortal.

chaki's third eye is in his neck! it's WAKING UP