Sucide: The Poll

ALL PRETTY BAD IDEAS

EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WITH THE KATANA, THATS BAD ASS

SELF-IMMOLATION ISN'T AWESOME??? WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, YOU HATE TIBET.

A giant bummer. Not least because then your friends have a memorial service for you and someone twirls scarves around a lot and someone else does a tango on stilts, there is saw playing, and a bunch of total lamos get up in kilts and jump around. And on and on, for HOURS. Don't ever put your family through that.

Unless you hate them, I guess.

no one is doing a tango on stilts at my funeral, ok?

torn apart by wild animals

That's not a suicide, or even a sucide!

Or maenads, I hear they're a wild party.

ALAN VEGA & MARTIN REV

torn apart by wild animals

Feel my heart with your foot

Stabby to the chest, Elliot Smith stylee.

i think the drano option makes me recoil the most, i don't even want to think about the specifics of that process

ps tibet is ok but come on

Frank: It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.

That's how they dissolve animal corpses sometimes, putting them in a giant bath of lye (which works well bcz the alkaline neutralizes after doing its job and the bath can go safely down the drain). It corrodes their flesh into nothing. That's how drano & c. work, but inside out. It's not so likely you'll die but have important parts of your digestive system burned away.

this is hard. i'd be too pussy to jump, wouldn't want guns or blood (no muss no fuss), pills have a high possibility of not working. where is head in oven?

Jumping into a volcano

Head in toaster oven

how would throwing myself on the mercy of, say, hungry polar bears not be a suicide

they probably wouldn't eat you

God if you actually want to get it DONE you shoot yourself. Aim for the medulla oblongotta: gun in mouth to back of the skull, not the top. This advice came from an anatomy & physiology lecture on the importance of the medulla oblongotta.

That's like "suicide by cop," shakey, ie you don't take your own life, someone else does.

how many people shoot themselves directly in the front of the head and still live?

well Bushwick Bill for one

o come on, polar bears are sweethearts

I met a guy who shot himself twice and lived! And he had one fucked-up face.

You forgot "drink self to death over the winter".

why is everyone so down on winter?

Anyway most of those options are at odds with my goal of leaving a pretty corpse.

drowning/hypothermia:

http://static1.bareka.com/photos/medium/2765876.jpg

Bell: Not so much really just sad today.

passout in a glacier and be perfectly preserved for thousands of years

Go out in freezing mountains and drink until you fall asleep warm & drunk and freeze to death while unconscious.

why is everyone so down on winter?

TOO DARK AND COLD, DUH!

a coach at my highschool did this. he was not found until spring when the snow melted, and had been behind the general store the entire time!

Death by Northern Exposure plot

!!!

Seems like the way to go if yr gonna be dumb and drink the suicider.

it had been new year's eve, and it was snowing. he wandered off and fell asleep

po brecito. :(

spacewalk tetherless into unrecoverable orbit and re-enter

^^^

lol "the general store"

http://www.themainestore.com/FRAME%20MAINE%20LOON.gif

trying to kill yourself seems really fucking difficult

i DID forget the carbon monoxide option. when i was growing up, kid down the street pulled ye olde turn on the car & leave garage door closed, go to sleep kinda thang.

i hope you're not speaking from experience, ruby : (

where is "throw self in front of train" option (or does that not count as suicide, suicide-nazis!)

no that works

oh never mind option 1 duh

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

-- Dorothy Parker

MISADVENTURE.

http://www.unicahome.com/products/475.796F4F69.jpg

electrocution is probably pretty quick n painless

("radio in bathtub" option)

painful.

Didn't work for Bill Murray in Groundhog's Day!

("radio in bathtub" option)

but then you would be found naked!
LIKE YOU HAVENT CAUSED YOUR FAMILY ENOUGH SHAME!!!

i'd prefer the john entwistle "40 years of hookers and blow" means of suicide myself.

i hope you're not speaking from experience, ruby : (

-- omar little

noooo! but when you think about it, all things considered, it's pretty difficult - if you want to avoid something that's gonna hurt/leave a mess for others/have unreliable results/don't have a car.

I think if yr so mentally etc. far gone that you are going to kill yourself some of these things may not be a hindrance (leave a mess" most notably).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoerotic_asphyxiation

i was at a free christian rock concert when i was 13, and the singer started talking about how her best friend had suffered depression and had killed himself, and how she felt bad because she knew he was now burning in hell. that's when i realised christianity is kinda fucked.

christianity issome christians are

no, you were right the first time.

don't hate the player, hate the game?

something like that.

I've hardly ever understood what that means!

http://www.godvsthebible.com/images/evil2.jpg

http://cache.kotaku.com/assets/resources/2006/11/jesusgameboy.jpg

i just wanted to be careful about not lumping all xtians together. i worked with a girl for a long time who was a xtian, and she has a big heart and an open mind. her religion brings her comfort and she doesn't ever force it down the throats of others, or use it to justify stupid shit in the world. i respect that, even if it's not something that works for me personally.

respecting peoples religious beliefs will just encourage them.

NO, TURN AROUND BRIGHT EYES
ANOTHER XTIANITY THREDD NO NECESSITO

water intoxication.

Sister Xtian oh your time has come

Your right to have religious beliefs ends where my right to think you're a dumbass begins.

saran wrap around the head

ALL PRETTY BAD IDEAS

Pills are a great idea, provided you have the right ones.

everyone forgot making cops shoot you

HEY COPPER I HAS A BOMB!!!!!!

sleeping pills+plastic bag+rubber band seems to be not the worst way to go.

with some nice new Nikes, natch

yelling "JIHAD!!!" on an el al flight while throwing open your coat to reveal red plastic tubes duct taped to your torso.

I VOTE GHOST RIDER

I never heard the term "jersey barriers" until I moved out of new jersey

Suicide by Impossible Mission. People who are ready to die should do something really awesome and dangerous instead of leaving everyone they know crying, "why?"

People, you have to CHOOSE to be lame, seriously.

Dorothy Parker OTM. She was the Nabisco of her era.

i DID forget the carbon monoxide option.

I would probably go for this.

jumping out of a plane without a chute would probably be my preferred flashy method

I wd have said Ms Parker was the estela of her era :)

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/2186/bstlr4.jpg

THIRD RAIL FTW

carjacking somebody on the Grand Prix ride at Walt Disney World while wearing a bomb strapped to my chest, and blowing myself and everyone on the ride into smithereens, while Mickey watches

NO EVERYONE LETS JUST DRINK A COUPLE BEERS TOGETHER AND JAM RECORDS - I SWEAR WE'LL BECOME HAPPY EVENTUALLY

y'all my dogs

:)

When I think about it, I think about either a leap off the overpass into traffic (a twofer!) or hanging. The old drop and stop.

"where is head in oven?"

uh, in the oven. duh.

;-)

We def. need a poll on how to kill other people, tho.

WITH GREAT SECRECY.

television

this thread should not bring lols. but it does.

defo toaster in the bath for drama. and i don't imagine you'd have to be naked for it to work.

Never try to change a light bulb while standing in a bath

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/9/9b/200px-Claudefrancois.jpg

... bath filled with water of course

ah, leaving a mess would send me into the unknown really annoyed. have to be pills.

i don't like heights, otherwise i'd go for a jump, off a building cos drowning is not an attractive death option.

(xp) "He continued to perform while overseeing his numerous business interests. In 1975, while in London, he narrowly escaped death when an IRA bomb exploded and two years later a fan tried to shoot him."

... poor old Claude, when God's got it in for you you're in serious trouble

I don't fear death, but I -do- fear great pain, so most of these options are right out. Fear of pain also results in a fear of surviving the attempt, which strikes out the bullet in the head option. So, some drug that makes you fall asleep and never wake up would most certainly be best. Most fun (of sorts) I imagine would be jumping from a plane without a parachute. But, having seen maybe two stories on the news about people who've survived their parachutes not opening, that fear of surviving kicks in again. Hmm, I don't fear death, but I fear survival. What a winner. As to the drugs, there are all those stories of people overmedicating etc to off themselves, who end up with fucked up stomaches and livers and whathaveyous.
Suicide sounds like too damn much stress; I'll stick to living instead.

I don't fear death

Aye, right

Well, perhaps it depends on the meaning of "death" we're thinking of here. I was thinking of death as the state after life. I've grown up an atheist, so I'm used to the idea that once I'm dead, there's nothing (or, rather, my consciousness will no longer exist, so there's not even "nothing") which doesn't seem like something to fear. I do flinch back from danger and would rather live a long life than a short one, mind.
Can anyone really have chosen to commit suicide by drinking Drano? I thought that was just something Vonnegut dreamed up. But I suppose the synapses may be misfiring quite a bit when someone's ready to commit suicide...

Harakiri
Hanging
Jumper (bridge/tall building)

, combined! like in hannibal.

We def. need a poll on how to kill other people, tho.

http://www.annetaintor.com/images/01189.jpg

NO EVERYONE LETS JUST DRINK A COUPLE BEERS TOGETHER AND JAM RECORDS - I SWEAR WE'LL BECOME HAPPY EVENTUALLY

-- 69, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 03:49 (11 hours ago) Link

HE SPEAKS TRUTH

death by t-rex

"You're gonna scare me to death with your horrible breath"

Schedule a parachute jump from a plane and then just don't pull the cord. Who would believe you didn't try to pull the cord?

....uh, the safety investigators, when they reviewed the state of your still-packed parachute?

A big tube of China White

slowly, by your choice of tobacco, alcohol or a sedentary lifestyle

Bill Magill OTM

RONG

but dead rong

how has nobody mentioned WALKING INTO THE OCEAN

Because drowning is one of my nightmare-level Great Fears.

One problem with death by skydiving is that I'd want to qualify for HALO first so I had a good 30k feet to ponder my imminent demise. And if I was good enough to qualify for that, I probably wouldn't want to kill myself anymore.

Because drowning is one of my nightmare-level Great Fears.

same, i'd much rather snort up a bunch of peruvian marching powder and have my last moments be the best i'd ever felt rather than my last moments being one giant "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" going through my brain.

I really don't think a heart attack qualifies as "the best" of anything, though, Kevin.

but walking into the sea is so much more dignified!

it would be really hard to kill yourself with cocaine, and if you did, you'd be going "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" too.

Drowning is supposed to be quite peaceful once, like freezing to death, you fall below some point of oxygen deprivation/brain function and basically "fall asleep". It's just the lungs-flooded-with-water part that I can't bear the thought of. And the impending panic as your last lungful of air runs out and out and out and your OWN REFLEXES damn you to a chest full of H2O....

I went walking
down
by
the river. . . .

laurel, the great thing would be i wouldn't even notice that my heart had just exploded like a hot dog in a microwave. i'd just be LIVINGLIVINGLIVING -dead.

Yeah, that's why I'm choosing (hypotetically of course) the tube of the junk, because it eliminates the pain factor.

xxpost

Junk gives me the creeps.

fuck the junk too, i wouldn't want to be rabid, foaming mouthed sack of shit who slides off into oblivian. i'd much rather go out supernova stylee.

better to burn out than to fade away, etc etc

i would like to face the pain of death

od'ing is a weird way to go. it is hard to grieve for, i feel like friends that have gone that way are in a weird liminal place instead of feeling closure or anger or any of the normal stuff.

IM DROWNING

kevin: ROCKIST!

I CAN'T BREATHE

D-R-O-W, I-N-G!!!

also, if there were some burrito-based method of doing oneself in i'd probably opt for that.

I just think with coke, which makes me acutely aware of everything around me, I would be totally keyed into the fact that I'm on my way out. If that's your thing, more power to you. Call me a wuss, but I'll take the poppy juice.

Burritos on the other hand...

speed ball

black capsule.

SOMEBODY PLEASE, SOMEBODY SAVE ME

See, isn't this better than posting all the lyrics in one place like some kind of supah-goth/emo/retarded poem?

GIRL I'M DROWNING!

Go out in freezing mountains and drink until you fall asleep warm & drunk and freeze to death while unconscious.

this happened to a guy i knew. it was more of an accident, though, and he lived for a few days after. don't know if it was painful or not..

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

<IMG SRC=http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lg86383-11+to-the-lighthouse-virginia-woolf-poster.jpg>;

what about suicide 4 lulz?

The punchline always hits the wrong note for real.

overdose while chatting on irc

told u i was hardcore

i'ma have to do a beat street flood

LAMPSHADE RIPPER

lampshade

ripper

i got a grip of drugs

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

okay, if this had been a year ago i would have gotten all sad and outraged. thanks to the pills and life just being generally better-- in fact, great-- i'm not going to do that.

so i give my vote for jumping. no matter what, there'll always be a wonderful thrill before you hit the ground/water/floor of NYU library/etc.

you guys know the whole thing about that floor, right? Escher designed it. from the top floor, it looks like you're looking at a floor of spikes.

http://gothamist.com/images/2003_10_nyubobst.jpg

Bobst Library was designed by Philip Johnson and Richard Foster. Escher, in fact, was dead a year before the building was completed and I find it doubtful he had anything to do with it.

They do look like spikes though. And I think the number of jumpers has significantly decreased since they put plexiglass barriers everywhere.

when i went on a tour of nyu before applying to colleges, the tourguide mentioned that the library floor was designed to look like spikes to deter jumpers. my mom was not impressed.

apparently bobst was huge for homosexual cruising. i heard lots of guys claim to have gotten blown under the desks in the avery fischer center.

hmm.. well then, i knew johnson designed it. guess tha bitch who gave me my tour back in the day (2002 holy jesus that was sooo long ago) lied through her teeth.

about Escher and the floor. sorry.

2002 - ha! mine was in 1998

okay, most sites i'm finding are saying that it was inspired by Escher's piece, "Depth."

well there you go.

and yes, bell labs, you're old, we get it.

waiting 'til i die of old age and sort of looking foward to it, that's a kind of suicide, right?

You got weird ideas about what constitutes 'old' Ian.

Or maybe I do.

oh, i was just teasing Ms. Labs! Old is Dr. Morbius.

it's ok, ian was born in 1992

too true ;_;

No AARP membership, no credibility.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.