This place just ain't for me. Adios, amigos.

what

r.i.p murderdogger

heaven needed a quiet trucker

Are you actually a person leaving or are you parodying threads of people leaving?

I can never tell anymore.

In any case, if it's the former: good luck to you.

The latter: adios, homes.

I'm the real deal Holyfield, Hoos. Big fan by the by ;)

-Jim Swells

Are you actually a person leaving or are you parodying threads of people leaving?

As two ends of the same stick, they both heft the same. Makes no difference, does it?

True indeed.

I hate the lolz parody threads. :-(

you hate everything

i did not mean to call yr son a retarded tiger - mesmerizing tiger jpg made me not see anything written around tiger jpg
that tiger just makes me sad, pos b/c i am a tiger purist but actually b/c i think about if tiger were in the wild and how quickly it wld be dead

signing yr name to yr posts makes what you write look like a quote/excelsior post

truck rules

i don't really care if this is a parody/trolling/etc thread
we are all characters some more real than others etc etc

i did not mean to call yr son a retarded tiger

woah

haha i didn't actually say that! i don't even say 'retarded' except in context of that tiger b/c it's called that on the itnernets

o_O

i didn't even see what he'd written before i posted that tiger is sad to me, is what i mean
i mean geez if one did ilx research one wld see me v low on zing stats; i am not so good at the mean

Consider this: Only 1 in 4 tiger cubs from a white tiger bred to an orange tiger carrying the white gene are born white, and 80% of those die from birth defects associated with the inbreeding necessary to cause a white coat. Of those surviving, most have such profound birth defects, such as immune deficiency, scoliosis of the spine (distorted spine), cleft palates, mental impairments and grotesquely crossed eyes that bulge from their skull that only a small percentage are suitable for display. Due to these birth defects the white tigers often die an early death. According to some tiger trainers, only 1 in 30 of those white cats will consistently perform. The number of tigers that have to be produced and disposed of in order to fill the public’s desire to see white tigers on display is staggering.

so jim swells had a tiger baby?

he seems interesting maybe he should come back.

my heart will go on

for what it's worth, jim swells, i think you belong here perfectly.

Rrrobyn, thanks I was pretty upset by that. I thought you were callin my boy tarded which he is slow. Hey like I said i think y'alls cool but one guy is really gettin on my last nerve.

<<<<signing yr name to yr posts makes what you write look like a quote/excelsior post>>>

I ain't got an elk's foot a trap to know what this even means.

-Jim Swells

have a good time jim.

Thanks, hon.

My daughter just sent me a picture:

http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v143/189/64/5900079/n5900079_31048789_3657.jpg

-Jim Swells

i call shenanigans the date on that pic is '94!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BMovie just came out, pal.

-Jim Swells

you bigger you better

;_; We hardly knew ye, Jim Swells.

Goodbye, Jim Swells :( Oh what the heck, I'm leaving too.

Belldog? am not familiar with your posts. But 10-4.

-J. Swells

you hate everything

hahaha.

no.

Yr daughter has good taste in music, Jim!

i am so confused

get used to it, jim swells is outta here!

So farewell then
Some dude I've never heard of.
ILX won't be the same without
Whatever it was you brought to the table.

N.V. Thribb, aged 15¾

hey swells, that's a fine heifer you got there. why don't you buy her a shirt that fits?

Hey, seriously, man: FUCK YOU. I was wondering why everyone here hates you. and now I know. Please do not mess with my baby girl.

-Big Jim Swells

Catch you on the flipside, dudemeister.

As if my day wasn't FUCKED UP ENOUGH

jesus christ vahid

vahid hates le tigre

http://shop.abc.net.au/multimediaitems/images/product_images/2/237442.jpg

wtf vahid

great book btw xpost

Hey, seriously, man: FUCK YOU. I was wondering why everyone here hates you. and now I know.

Win.

Jim, please don't go.

Don't Die Jim

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000IWOB.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg

come back Jim Swells!

this is almost the best introduction thread imaginable

i guess you're excepting your own.

hence 'almost' :D

"gosh ur gonna be a treat"

i knew you was fam

good thing for you that as 2007 draws to a close, it seems that PARTYMAN has voted himself off the island!

If this is like J-Go's intro thread, though, then who will play the Ned-as-hardman role in this case??

vahid, obv.

he seems interesting maybe he should come back.

(sp?)

-Jim Swells

Here's-your-hat-what's-your-hurry.

http://static.flickr.com/136/317295731_3d9dede373.jpg

Look. I'm have a two week load coming up this Monday so I cannot stay. I think this place is duper cool tho and I promise I will be back. Theres one guy that keeps gettin my gravy but I ain;t a slave to the net and can ignore him. Vahid is a piece of shit. Ilove you guys and will bump this thread when I'm back.

http://kc6yru.net:3823/images/jim.jpg
-Big Jim Swells

Big Swells

"Big Jim Swells"

i don't really understand. i mean if this place isn't for you, why don't you just make a clean break? why all the goodbyes and bumps and pictures? i mean, that seems like quitting cigarettes with packs still in the house, lighters in your bag and smoke all over your scarves.

RIP jim. this place just gets worse and worse.

U can use internet from most truck stops, I think! At least stop by and say "hey" once in a while! Anyways, Happy 2008! That suxx that you are leaving on New Year's Eve! How to party under those circumstances??

http://i18.tinypic.com/6pgb243.jpg

Is he back yet?

dell is right. i can tell you for certain that the flying j travel plaza in gaffney, s.c. is wifi enabled, along with many other flying js across this great nation of ours.

Yah I'll say hi for sure and will update you on my adventures.

-BJ Swells

All I can say is that maybe ILX would be a lot better if it had a few more guys like BJ Swells, and a few less guys like that people that forced him to leave.

Sorry if I'm overstepping my mark there, but still.

you suck at leaving, swells

i think it's been established that jim thinks we're all cool and he is going to come back. i duno call me capt save a trucker but i think thats what he said.

Looking forward to hearing from you, BJ. As you can tell from the swelling of responses here, you've got a lot of fans! Best of luck.

You know that it would be untrue if I were to deny that this thread has gotten me all misty-eyed.

let them truckers roll

http://www.impawards.com/1978/posters/convoy.jpg

I been warped by the rain, driven by the snow
I'm drunk and dirty, don't you know
But I'm still willin'

Out on the road late last night
I'd see my pretty Alice in every headlight
Alice, Dallas Alice

And I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari
Tehachapi to Tonopah
Driven every kind of rig that's ever been made
Driven the backroads so I wouldn't get weighed
And if you give me weed, whites and wine
And you show me a sign
And I'll be willin' to be movin'

And I've been kicked by the wind, robbed by the sleet
Had my head stove in but I'm still on my feet
And I'm still willin'

And I smuggled some smokes and folks from Mexico
Baked by the sun every time I go to Mexico
Ah but I'm still...

And I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari
Tehachapi to Tonopah
Driven every kind of rig that's ever been made
Driven the backroads so I wouldn't get weighed
And if you give me weed, whites and wine
And you show me a sign
And I'll be willin' to be movin'

Is that Little Feat, gershy?

Man I love that song.

-Jim S

correct, good buddy!

Maybe we can all meet up somewhere on the highway.

Uh, Breaker One-Nine, this here's the Rubber Duck
You got a copy on me Pig-Pen? C'mon

Uh, yeah 10-4 Pig Pen, fer sure, fer sure
By golly it's clean clear to Flag-Town, C'mon

Uh, yeah, that's a big 10-4 Pig-Pen,
Yeah, we definitely got us the front door good buddy,
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy

Was the dark of the moon, on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth, pullin' logs
Cabover Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin' hogs
We 'as headin' fer bear on I-One-Oh
'Bout a mile outta Shaky-Town
I sez Pig-Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck
An' I'm about to put the hammer on down

Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, rockin' through the night
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA
Convoy... Convoy...

Uh, breaker Pig-Pen, this here's The Duck
Uh, you wanna back off them hogs
10-4, 'bout five mile or so, 10-roger
Them hogs is gittin' in-tense up here

By the time we got into Tulsa-Town
We had eighty-five trucks in all
But they's a road block up on the clover leaf
An' them bears 'as wall to wall
Yeah them smokies 'as thick as bugs on a bumper
They even had a bear-in-the-air
I sez callin' all trucks, this here's The Duck
We about to go a huntin' bear

Cause we gotta great big convoy, rockin' through the night
Yeah we gotta great big convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA
Convoy... Convoy...

Uh, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that Pig-Pen?
Uh, negatory Pig-Pen, yer still too close
Yeah, them hogs is startin' close up my sinuses
Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten

Well we rolled up interstate fourty-four
Like a rocket sled on rails
We tore up all a our swindle sheets
An' left 'em settin' on the scales
By the time we hit that Chi-Town
Them bears was a gittin' smart
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From the Illinois National Guard
There 'as armored cars, and tanks, and Jeeps
An' rigs of every size
Yeah them chicken coops 'as full a bears
An' choppers filled the skies
Well we shot the line, an' we went for broke
With a thousand screamin' trucks
And eleven long-haired friends of Jesus
In a chartreusse microbus

Hey Sod Buster, listen
You wanna put that microbus in behind the suicide jockey?
Yeah, he's haulin dynamite
He needs all the help he can git

Well we laid a strip fer the Jersey Shore
An' prepared to cross the line
I could see the bridge 'as lined with bears
But I didn't have a doggone dime
I sez Pig-Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck
We just ain't a gonna pay no toll
So we crashed the gate doin' ninety-eight
I sez, let them truckers roll, 10-4

Cause we gotta mighty convoy, rockin' through the night
Yeah we gotta mighty convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA
Convoy... Convoy...

Uh, 10-4 Pig-Pen, what's yer 20?
Omaha?!
Well they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer sure
Well mercy sakes alive good buddy
We gonna back on outta here
So keep the bugs off yer glass
An' the bears off yer... tail
We gonna catch ya on the flip-flop
This here's the Rubber Duck on the side
We gone
Bye, Bye...

Stay in touch, Jim.

Jim, being that it was the holidays and all, I was just talking to some family on the phone, and I happened to tell them some things about you and what you've shared with us here that have touched my heart...the long and short of it is, that my mom, dad, brother and sis (and gramma, too!) wanted me to pass on holiday and new year's wishes to you!

Isn't this a beautiful time of year?

Dell, are you even serious? Tell your fams that I send my love back. I love this time of year but am sad I have to leave tomorrow.

-Jim Swell

Everyone, I came on back. Not even the road keeps me away from y'all. Missed you guys.

- Jim Swells

Of course I was serious about my family sending holiday wishes to you, Jim! And damn, welcome back! It's great to hear from you again!

Much obliged, Dell. Hope you and yours had a fine New Year's celebration. I know I did.

- Jim Swells

Thanks, Jim, New Year's was just fine.

Hope you didn't get too crazy ringing in the new year, heh-heh!

jim, do you do speed on teh road?

Chaki, at first I reckoned you asked me "do you speed on the road" and I would have said "not when anyone's lookin, ha ha". But to answer the actual question you asked, nope, never did. Never carried nothin extra in my cigarette pack.

chaki that is a rude question

Nice catch there, Swells.

Jim, I gotta say, your daughter looks like a chip off of the ol' block! She's standing pretty much the same way you are in that picture of you, arms crossed same way and all (except you guys have opposite arms on top; maybe that means one of you is a lefty?)

If my daughter's a lefty I don't want to know about it! I'm just kiddin about, no. I love her however she votes. And sometimes I go that way myself. No, we're both righties, Dell my friend.

- Jim Swells

jim does a man make you swells or a woman

Ralph, only my wife makes me swells, and that's with pride. Otherwise I'm a humble man.

- Jim Swells

Jim what is your stance on the lot lizard epidemic?

can u gift me advice

wtf @ this thread. also, jim, you dont have to sign your posts.

Well, without gettin too much into it I suppose there's no harm in it as they as they're careful. The lot lizards themselves, I mean. But in this day and age even a man such as myself would have to be careful, not that I'd ever let one ride in the ol cab seeing as I'm spoken for.

- Jim Swells

has u ever drove your truck over those weighters that make you pat taxes like http://www.catscale.com/images/truck_scale_1.jpg and think about running it over

Every day, ralph. Every day.

-Jim Swells

jim: please leave again

it could be first way to smash the state

Jim,

Would you adopt me?

- Mandee W.

i think you'd have to live with his daughter, mandee.

Friends,

I ain't much one for criticism of music but the bossman asked me to put together a list of music from 2007. Hope y'all enjoy. Some of this is my own finds, some of it from my daughter. Continued peace and goodwill in 2008.

- Jim Swells

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj264/murderdogger/jimswells.jpg

o_O

great list, jim

cant read bro

how are you guys reading this?

maybe adjust the brightness on your monitor, chaks

Nice list, BJ! :)

Based on the list, I'm officially in love with Jim Swells.

Or something like that.

Aw, Ms. Laura, you make me blush. I am single right now. What do you look like?

-J

0_o!

oooo_OOOO!!

J - I am horribly ugly and haven't shaved my legs in years. And I am decidedly not single right now. The not-single status and leg shaving issue can be remedied, though, with enough advance notice. I trust that this meets with your approval?

Ralph, only my wife makes me swells, and that's with pride. Otherwise I'm a humble man.

- Jim Swells

-- murderdogger, Friday, January 4, 2008 2:23 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

BIG JIM WHAT HAPPENED??????????????????????

The ardor has cooled?

and so quickly!

he's just joking around with laura maybe!

jim, you dirty dog

jim, you dirty dog

Oh, be easy on Jim.

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

-- Matthew 26:41 KJV

<<<<<<<<<J - I am horribly ugly and haven't shaved my legs in years.>>>>>>>>>>>>

K, nevermind.

-BJ

ouch!

Be of good cheer, you all. Jim Swells, he is one small-amusing fraud-fellow. This shaveleg joke no good? Wait a little bit try again.

a dirty dog AND shallow... boy am i disappointed in you jim

i hope you're not serious, rubes. how else was he supposed to respond to that?

jesus christ

mr swells didn't seem too happy with the comments made about his daughter's appearance...

i dont think jim said anything mean to to ms laura at all.

"im really ugly and have hairy legs!" "oh ok lets go out then!!"

(?!?!?!)

I was trying to be gracious and not say anything mean. Shoot, Rubyred can be disappointed in me all she wants. Prolly just projectin or somethin.

-BJS

captn-save-a-trucker

xpost

jim's gonna make me lonesome when he goes. jim, please leave your daughter here, many ilxors are secret fattay lovers and want to plant tiny kisses all over her pooch.

i speak for those who will not speak for themselves. I look out for the little guy. The little guy who likes fattays.

there was nothing said here about fatteys just ugliness and leghair.

i am predicting a stampede of little guys signing up for toastmasters.

Apparently I've stumbled into some touchy areas and since I'm in a live and let live, everyone be happy, peace is cool kind of gal, I'm just gonna back on out and look at critters.

what does big jim swells make of 'geezasthetics'?

capn save-a-self

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y147/bashabout/Secretary_.jpg

RIP big boy

hey

hey yourself

what does big jim swells make of 'geezasthetics'?

-- DG, Monday, January 21, 2008 9:49 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

hahahaha

http://www.simonsaysroses.com/S16-3164.jpg

flesh eating flowers

come back jim swells

come back Jim Swells!

-- Curt1s Stephens, Friday, December 28, 2007 9:16 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Link

If ilx has become friendlier more recently, I'm glad I wasn't here last year. I have never known it less friendly than now.

-- the pinefox, Thursday, 8 May 2008 15:29 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

u get props over here for that mtv list

this thread needs the cowboy from The Big Lebowski.

http://i55.tinypic.com/2my9jsx.jpg
http://i56.tinypic.com/296m8wg.jpg
http://i55.tinypic.com/357elud.jpg
http://i55.tinypic.com/5v29nt.jpg
http://i54.tinypic.com/m9q9u1.jpg

;_;

this thread needs the cowboy from The Big Lebowski.

no, Mulholland Dr.

looooooooooooool just noticed the "R.I.P." scribbled in under Nate Dogg's name

impressive attention to detail!

^ ty ty

Man, I was really hoping this would draw him out. I guess the big guy really is gone for good ;_;

this thread needs the cowboy from The Big Lebowski.

no, Mulholland Dr.

― Fuck bein' hard, Dr Morbz is complicated (Dr Morbius), Saturday, March 19, 2011 11:06 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark

Well, stop for a little second and
think about it.

Can you do that for me?

Okay, I'm thinking.

No. You're not thinkin'

You're too busy being a
smart aleck to be thinkin'.

Now I want ya to think
and stop bein' a smart aleck.

Can you try that for me?

This place just ain't for me. Adios, amigos.

-Big Kurt Schwitts

the lack of support you got from the rest of the thread (not to mention "sincere fuck you's" from other mods) really speaks to my feeling that ilx is becoming less and less a place for me

― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Friday, October 26, 2012 4:51 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the ralph/Big Jim exchange is my favorite part of this thread

and just in case you were wondering what my least favorite was:

jim's gonna make me lonesome when he goes. jim, please leave your daughter here, many ilxors are secret fattay lovers and want to plant tiny kisses all over her pooch.

― kenan, Monday, January 21, 2008 11:25 AM (4 years ago)

O_O

for the millionth time.

deja o_O