Big Brother Celebrity Hijack

Watched a bit of it through my fingers. It got too much. Is this a full-on months long BB?

no word on the length of the series but there are a full complement of contestants so i guess a few weeks at least?

The celebrities involved are all listed here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Brother:_Celebrity_Hijack_(UK)

i won't copypaste so as not to be spoilering, but there are some v. interesting choices!

Google says 4 weeks

Hoorah, I forgot about it. I give it approx. two days before I am completely suckered in against my better judgment though.

because it's shorter they have gone out of their way to find "exceptional housemates" who were invited to interview rather than picked out from auditions. I guess this means people who are instantly "entertaining" instead of slow burners. Or maybe they had to vet them for crazy racism post-shilpa

The fact that some if not all of these people have genuinely successful careers ahead of them and could completely blow it as a result of appearing in this does add something to proceedings.

I felt a bit ill looking at the brother and sister circus act.

are you saying that being ordered to crawl, molest people and dance a jig by a cheeky comedy gay is a bad career move for the leader of the scottish youth political party

yeah the brother and sister act are extreme. a trick that makes your eyeballs bleed and your torso (permanently) lobsided??

Him and the singer songwriter girl who was all "I write classical scores, funky house, grime..." and for a second I thought she'd read the Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong thread and was just taking the piss.

(xpost)

There was a lot of "I started my business when I was 8/joined Mensa when I was 4/started playing violin when I was 3", it could get fun if they all start feeling threatened by each other's talent and exaggerate even more. I like crazy square cleaning lady though.

God that was a drag.

So if it's just "celebrities ask scottish bloke to do daft things" for 3 weeks, forget it.

no that was just lucas' idea, he's only controlling for one day

Oh right. I dunno, there may well be a lot of "keep me posted" about this. Somehow, I don't anticipate a lot of "watercooler moments" to use the old vernac.

Daily Star Front Page: Jade Back in Celeb Big Bro

Smaller print at bottom: Endemol faced calls to bring Jade Goody back after the show started last night etc...

(i.e. Jade not back in celeb big bro)

Dull so far. Liam is some type of alien.

Quote of the series: 'I can put my arse on my head'

sweet how matt lucas chose the scottish guy because he's the most likeable and the one he could see himself working with. imagine if it was that racing driver tosser doing all that, sneering his way through it.

businessman kid looks like a broken doll that's been left too close to an open fire.

wow this is some dull telly

http://media.canada.com/1785a528-bef3-4f04-af39-9312146bfd98/eddiekaythomas.jpg http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/media/images/Channel4/bb_celeb_hijack/housemates/jeremy_profile_445.jpg

Yesterdays was better.

Ian Wright was the celeb. Cue lots of "man, dude, you're an inspiration" type asskissing, to Ian's obv discomfort.

Who's up next?

Alan Cumming. Oh joy.

lan Cumming
You've probably seen Scottish actor Alan on the silver screen in films such as X-Men and Goldeneye. He has also appeared in Eyes Wide Shut and Spice World.

My mistake. It's Lan Cumming.

Might skip this one tonight.

tonight it's Sharon Osbourne.

Interest unpiqued

<i>to Ian's obv discomfort</i>

huh? he LOVED it. cue tons of turgid wright-style inspirational/tough-love daddyfied "u can do it dont let no 1 say u cant" speeches.

I refuse to watch anything with Sharon Osbourne in it, so that's another one I'll be missing. I've only seen the Matt Lucas one so far, which was quite funny, admittedly.

DAMN!

Sorry guys, my bad typing: It's Kelly Osbourne. Me dubm. (I even saw her in the room, so it's not like I misread it)

I refuse to watch anything with SharonKelly Osbourne in it, so that's another one I'll be missing. I've only seen the Matt Lucas one so far, which was quite funny, admittedly.

fair enough.

I thought Russell Brand was taking over after Alan Cumming.

I suppose they had to explain to the housemates who Alan Cumming was?

But where to start?

Victor and Barry of course!

... did you get them in England?

Oh, I thought you meant "Get Victor and Barry into the diary room, tell them Alan Cummings is the celeb and get them to explain to the other hm's who he is"

Naturally, that assumes that Victor and Barry are in the house, I'm not exactly up on who is in there right now.

But where to start?

http://www.cummingthefragrance.com/imagesAlan/image7.jpg

I saw some of Cummings Hijack and thought it was genuinely entertaining (ie not in a train wreck or humilliatory way) that he had them character acting. But then when i flicked back Russell Brand was doing it and i could give a shit.

I think i'll wait for the Chapman Brother's turn now

Jade, Jeremy and Victor are in the first eviction.

i caught a bit of BBBM last night. quite like cheery dude and dude-from-teachers-or-whatever-he-was-in as presenters; however, just felt old watching a) clips from the house; b) the audience response.

there's absolutely no thought or awareness going on, is there? it's just televised existence.

still, props to BBBM for getting that light-entertainment behemoth arthur "the policeman out of 'allo! 'allo!" bostrom on as a guest.

Was he just pissing in your cunt?

No, That was Garu G.

"i was sheeting in my noon's flonge ..." nah, doesn't work.

well, it made me laff!

... which is more than arthur bostrom ever did!

*rimshot*

nah, i actually caught a couple of repeats a few years back and was surprised by how genuinely sort of almost nearly vaguely amusing allo! allo! could potentially be.

John McCrirrick today.

god.

Jeremy is the new face of lazy zing culture.

Russell brand is great on this i think it was his destiny

Yeah, this being the first one I actually watched properly, Russell is at least an ideas bloke.

So, it seems everyone's going to vote out the girly that can do erotic body formations.

OK, so it's John McCrirrick tonight, Janet Street Porter tomorrow...

Are you the only one watching this Mark? In the whole of Britain, I mean...

No, I'm watching it, but mainly for the bendy girl.

You mean the weird circus act girl? Or the girl with the strange face?

Circus girl.

Sky Bet has rated Victor at 8/11 to be evicted, with Jade at 11/10, while Jeremy seems the most likely to remain in the house priced at 16/1.

I'm not watching it much, so I guess I don't count.

I went off looking for the usual "voting" page, but apart from a message "Hey, of course we will be covering it, check back" message, bigbrotheronline is the same as at the end of BB8.

I'm just keeping up the old place, wipin' tables, boilin the occasional kettle, you know.

I didn't realise you could vote online, I thought it was just by text or phone.

Oh the rap guy was all "Yeah, I have a record label interested, a manager, etc. I don't have a PA, but I'm gonna need one after this, you know, mad!"

Um, maybe you won't mate, sorry.

xpost no that was just some fanpage (heavily subscrbed to popup ads) that'd run an opinion poll about "who do you want evicted" etc.

He's not a rap guy, he's R&B... isn't he already quite famous?

I don't know, I only saw a brief bit of that show.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masterpiece_%28Nathan_album%29

And there's this: http://music.guardian.co.uk/newbands/story/0,,1997023,00.html

OK, so it's John McCrirrick tonight

#1 BB junkie, even without stupid hat and muttonchops

I lasted five minutes.

Trash Pussies now. Otherwise known as Peaches and Fifi.

Peaches Geldof is the daughter of Bob Geldof and a former Big Brother's Big Mouth presenter. Fifi Brown is Peache's friend and DJ partner. Together they are DJ collective 'Trash Pussies'.

Good use of apostrophe there.

One goes tonight.

Probably,um, him. Victor. I dunno.

why is there such a lack of interest in this bb in general? is it because it's not a "proper one", or have the public had enough full stop?

The housemates don't stand to gain much from the show, but they all have a lot to lose (their future careers). So they are going to be a lot more guarded which makes for boring TV. It's different to a usual BB with a house full of people who desparately want fame even if they have to act like a moron to do it. And it's different to the old CBB where many of the celebrities were trying to restart stalled careers and so were also prepared to say/do anything as long as it meant (more) fame.

The DailyStar has it that they're packing allthe 'celeb' driven Big Brother stuff after this one, and "concentrating" alltheir ideas into bb9. damnspacebar!

Still, it'll be interesting to see the first eviction being greeted by a crowd 15 strong!

I saw that DS headline as I was passing through a shopping centre early this afternoon. I think it's a shame, as last year's CBB was shaping up to be interesting as most of the housemates weren't there to resuscitate their careers, so there was less of the strained "wackiness" acting-up-for-the-cameras. But then Jade and family rolled up...

Victor survives. The girls n' gays vote strikes again.

Well, being called "Jade" wasn't going to help her!

She being the sunny/funny one they all enjoyed for her positive attitude, so why did they nominate her?

I can imagine that daft "woh I want to go to bed but they all are in the bedroom, and I don't want to ak them in case they all nominate me woh!" bit probably did for her, ironically.

Boy, is no-one watching this.

Some of it is actually quite funny!

The i-pod incident would make a classic comedy sketch in any sitcom, for sure.

Will enlarge later, if anyone cares (post here if you do)

what was the ipod incident?

I thought the main reason no one's watching this is because it's on E4? If even Channel 4 can't be bothered anymore why should the GBP?

shame that jade went, she's a bit dippy and annoying and the whole "yeth i am in mentha from when i was 3 yrs old and my superspecial skill is entering beauty pageants" thing is wearing but she's ultimately sweet and loveable - criminal that whey-voiced rapist-in-training victor escaped it this time.

i was suprised at just how vile peaches geldof is. i always imagined the whole hatred against her was just your bogstandard bitter old folks hating on youth and that she'd actually be quite humble and sweet, but fuck was i wrong. just a nasty sneering brat, zero trace of humility or talent, her and her cocky mate barking orders at the housemates, loving the idea of being able to boss people about, lord of the flies-style. their one main idea was to dress up in animal costumes and run round the house dicking about while the housemates sat back, as unimpressed as the viewing public. interesting that peaches & friend (collectively known as 'trash pussies'... ugh) were the first set of bb guests to be openly disliked by the housemates. no wonder ch4 only gave them a cpl of minutes on the show itself.

one of the nicer things ive noticed from this series so far is that how the majority of these kids are getting on really well, unlike the normal (talent-free, + older folks) version there's no obvious signs of nastiness and one-upmanship at this stage.

possibly because these kids are close to school/college age so are used to coping with very different people in close quarters, or because they're confident in their own talent/goals and so aren't intimidated by others on base things like looks/age, aren't trying to resuscitate a dying career in celebdomb, aren't in the house with the intention of becoming a celebrity based on nothing, etc.

from the opening night show i thought the exact opposite would happen as they all (bar john) seemed horrible in their intro vids, so it's a pleasant surprise to see they're mostly likeable kids. HUGE contrast to peaches.

my current faves: boxer kid (anthony?), john (he'll prob win solely because of being a good sport with the whole opening night matt lucas task) and the artsy girl (amy?).

I like the roller skating girl, she is flexible.

Normal bb contestants aspire to be famous. omgcelebrity bb contestants aspire to be famous once more. These ones are doing all right in their respective careers and generally just want some exposure.

watched about five minutes today. Crazy circus girl is fit. That's about the extent of my opinions on this run.

andy McNabb?

Well, at least it was less expected than the John McCrirrick/StreetPorter ones.

And some of it is quite entertaining, honest!

Ooh, I've seen about 4 complete progs now, boy is Victor not going for the sympathy vote anymore!

Oh, and you are sooo going to love Chris Moyles as the next celeb!

Honestly, I never expected to see the phrase 'you are sooo going to love Chris Moyles' on ilx.

(tongue in cheek, natch! But the bit they showed was quite funny.Let's see..)

OK, The i-pod incident.

The house mates were divided into two teams for the challenge. What it was, I don't know. The winning team got i-pods with their favourite music to listen to on headphones, the losing team did not.

So, after a while, PGeldof and Fifi decided to call two girls into the diary room, and they took their place dressed as funny animals and masks, dancing around the house while music played. Eventually, the housemates clicked that neither of them could have been Jade, and pulled a mask off. At which point, they all raced into the diary room.

All except Liam, who came in from the garden, not noticing that he was in the house on his own, singing "I never will forget... the way you looook tonight" tunelessly (i.e. "Lady in Red" on his "Favourites" list)

I'm getting into it now.

It actually is quite good. One of the better years' 'Real' ones, BB1 or 2 or thereabouts.

Really? Agh.

Last year's proper one failed to get good until, what, the last two weeks? By which time we'd given up.

To be honest, it seems this is like a dry run for the next "real" one, a lot of things being tried out. The whole "celeb" thing is a red herring as such, and I've never known any BB house get so 'invaded' by other people (Brian Belo, Moyles, Andy Mcnabb's mates, bloke scattering rose petals, 'mad cameraman', etc..)

I truly hope so.

The Aus one is being turned on its head this year, but in a bad way. Being hosted by two muppets that between them possess less intelligence, sex appeal and personality than my arse. Presumably they're targeting the 18-35 month olds.

The upshot of that being that we'll be all over the British one, which goes out around the same time.

I admire Mark's commitment to the cause here... entirely misplaced I fear. From bits that I've seen, I'd say no-one's done as much harm for the image of Italian men than Victor since Dom Passantino Benito Mussolini.

Oh sure, all that too!

Brian Sewell tonight, "oh god" Joan Rivers tomorrow!

. Being hosted by two muppets that between them possess less intelligence, sex appeal and personality than my arse.

You've got Ant and Dec?

Brian Sewell made them make a four course meal, and was nice to them by the end.

Joan Rivers promised one of them a fuck.

Why do I bother?

Victor, Emilia, Jeremy and Liam up for eviction.

You've got Ant and Dec?

-- Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 00:40 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Bahahahaha.

When I can find two seconds to scratch my arse I'll post a link to them. One's a shock-jock-type wanker who likes to make trouble (think Nick Ferrari sans intelligence), the other's dumber than Paris Hilton on valium.

And you may not believe this but Ant and Dec are Morecambe and Wise compared to these two.

Ant and Dec are Morecambe and Wise compared to most people.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1359/1462465657_495b25ec43.jpg

^ Works in radio. Judged on Australian Idol. Is shit. Is not funny. Is not clever. Has no brane. Abuses people to boost his profile because he can't do anything else.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/05/09/kyle_narrowweb__300x352,0.jpg

^ Dumb. Thick. Dense. Has MINUS brane. Follows famous people like a homeless puppy. No personality. No appeal, sex or otherwise. No talent what. so. ever. Nikki Grahame without the screaming, is what I think I'm trying to say.

The fact that these two even have jobs in the media is mystifying. That they've been given one of the network's two biggest properties is unconscionable.

Just complete vomit.

What we wouldn't GIVE for Dermot, or Davina, or even Brand. Honestly. If anyone has a bomb and can direct it toward these two vapid numbnuts, please do so with all speed.

er, Big Brother Thread Hijack. Sorry.

So you're saying that Australia has even worse C list celebs than the UK?
Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Thread Hijack Double Hijack Hijack...

http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mo/rsmgjacknicholson50.jpg
Hi yourself!

Keith Lemon, i.e. Leigh Francis, today (i.e. tomorrow for TV coverage)

Things are now going back to predictable on the celeb side. THEY PROMISED US MALCOLM MCLAREN! WHEN? AY?

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1359/1462465657_495b25ec43.jpg

^^^why is the "metrosexual rapist" look so popular amongst Ozzies right now?

The upshot of that being that we'll be all over the British one, which goes out around the same time.

Does UK BB get shown on Aussie telly? When I was in Oz I noticed a large number of US reality imports cluttering up the schedules, but no British ones.

We have to be resourceful.

Aus did Celebrity BB once. It was awful. One old guy kept getting out his knob for a laugh and got kicked out. Yours last year was supremely entertaining by the standards of what we're used to.

^^^why is the "metrosexual rapist" look so popular amongst Ozzies right now?

-- Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 January 2008 00:40 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

1. tabloid culture
2. no fashion sense

What has crazy square cleaning lady been up to?

Hello.

I did not watch the Joan Rivers one at all.

Tonight it's Keith Lemon, which might be funny, but not as funny as Leigh Francis thinks it is.

Joan Rivers was pretty good. She told Emilia to stop taking shit from her brother, and called them all "fuckers" lots of times.

I did not watch the Joan Rivers one at all.

You've let us down but, more importantly, you've let yourself down

why is the "leigh francis as keith lemon" look so popular with aussies right now?

Good! (xpost)

I am not your leader! You need to take it up for youselves! Look within yourselves! You are individuals!

Anyroad up:

Following Leigh Francis as Keith Lemon, today is ... Leigh Francis as Craig David.

I hope he pisses someone's bed...

Denise Van Outen.

Last night's episode made me laugh a lot.

Probably a minority viewpoint, but I like BB best when they all get along - so this has been one of the better ones. Amy (artist) and Anthony (boxer) are both deeply adorable human beings, and it has sometimes been surprising to see which celebs work well (Chris Moyles being a notable surprise), and which don't (Joan Rivers disappointed). The one truly dire show was Peaches Geldof, yes (although I may have to skip both the Leigh Francis episodes). Favourite moment has probably been Nathan/Anthony ably defending themselves against Brian Sewell's sneering snobbery, exposing it as such but with utmost courtesy, and giving Sewell cause for re-consideration.

indeed.

you're almost otm mike - except with moyles. cf: victor said something, caught moyles off-guard, moyles stumbled a bit and came back with the killer retort "what was that? sorry i dont speak MORON". just the lamest weakest shit. real low-level bullying, he was as vile as expected. peaches geldof was the absolute pits but she can be defended on grounds of being young and a bit dim whereas moyles truly enjoys unleashing his fat-tongued spite on people.

russell brand was excellent. when he called jay into the diary room and pretended to be baring his soul about how he hated having to dress like a pirate but was forced to by his stylist (isn't this kinda true in part? i recall an observer interview with him saying how he got a stylist and that's where his current look came from).

that whole 'improv' thing last night was toe-curlingly bad - like they'd watched anthony do his prank with the hair clippers and thought 'right! we'll outdo that and go over the top like he did and people will LOVE US'. again not enough for them to become hated, can be dismissed as kids dicking about.

amy is poss one of the most pleasant and 'normal' (in that she's the most like people i hang out with) housemates that bb has ever had.

Possibly Amy's only weak moment came when she attempted to defend her art against Sewell's well thought-out anti-conceptualist viewpoint, and stumbled badly - possibly down to sheer intimidation, but I thought she'd have a cogent and practised defence to hand...

I also like the under-the-radar-ness it all, i.e. "everyone's written us off, so we'll quietly make a really good one, with decent intelligent interesting housemates, less naked desperation from the HMs/vicious manipulation from the producers, fewer rows, more and better tasks on a daily basis, higher calibre of celebs etc." With most of the mass media pressure taken off, and with expectations lowered all round (various HMs expressing surprise at the lack of out and out wankers, happily joking that no-one's watching etc) the quality has duly risen.

I wonder if TV Execs would agree that a Big Brother nobody watches is a success... all these celebs can't be cheap either

I like the way Big Brother has been part of the house - chatting with them while they're sitting on the couch - rather than just a voice in the diary room.

Yes it has. (xpost to Mike) In turn, I'm saving my best BB observations for BB9.

Ach, you know I'm kidding. I can't add much as I haven't watched it for a few days. The Brian Sewell episode worked, as did the Moyles' one (true about the MORON thing above, but hey he's not known for his speedy repartee, which Russell Brand is), and the RBrand too.

I figured I dislike Joan Rivers enough to not need to see hers, and the Keith LemDavid ones too predictable really, to bother with. Denise VO might be OK, we will see.

So, Victor presumably out today, unless the GET THE GIRL OUT rule still applies. However, any vote where her brother (who slags her off, literally, when ever) is also a vote option has to be an easy choice.

Two out tonight.

I assume The Weirdo will be going to?

Moyles was better with two people in the diary room, and/or one person in the pub. Lusting after Amy wasn't a good look though.

Confronted with a crowd, he got very 'DJ meeting a crowd of people' fronting. Which was not particularly appropriate to the situation, and to be fair, he did pack it in after that one.

xpost Oh Two?

Thing is, it's vote who you want out. So, weird lad might well get through by exclusion. Bro+sis I can see happening. Which would be wrong. Who's the third guy up?

Is the Italian guy an absolute prick? In one of the few bits I watched he was saying how he was going to declare his love for some girl on national TV, which was supposed to come out jokey, I think, but just sounded fucking creepy.

He comes across as immature and f**ked up, hopeless at relating to others, and in the grip of a conflict between the need to behave according to notions of unreconstructed machismo, and a higher than average sensitivity which gets in the way of him being able to do so.

I keep mistaking his voice for Amy's.

Which is neither here nor there, really.

Totally immature, as is his sister, they're like 13 & 14 (xp)

That's Showbusiness!

Indeed, it would be amazing if they had turned out normal

I wonder if TV Execs would agree that a Big Brother nobody watches is a success... all these celebs can't be cheap either.

It could be a way of experimenting with the formula in order to save the main summer show, trying to get away from the Evil Freak Show aspect, but at the risk that it could have ended up as a BB4-style nicey-nice blando-snooze-fest.

That's no doubt what it is - if they're smart that is

Seriously, they need to give the format a rest for a year, maybe two.

Well, I'd sort of speculated that the days of the "painful showoff" had to be over before BB8, unfortunately they did not agree. however, they seem to, now.

They can, hopefully, sit back and say they created something interesting and entertaining, even though the viewing figures don't register greatly (even if they are the biggest for e4 ever).

They could also be hoping for a steadily building phoenix-from-the-ashes success by stealth, i.e. Wow, these figures for E4 are AMAZING, public demand means that we MUST bring the show back, why wasn't this on C4 ALL ALONG, etc.

gotta love how victor acts like a total macho cock yet he has this little squeaky girls voice. maybe he's overcompensating? he's the only nasty shit in the house, criminal that he didn't go last week.

what was with keith lemon's mate going into the house, hours passing but no footage, then it showed the housemates asking for him to go back? did he clam up once he got in the house? that whole stunt fell flat. found him vaguely amusing sat in the bb control room but he seemed to lose his nerve once he got inside. saying "im twelve years old.." vaguely embarrassed, like he'd be forced into doing this by his mate leigh francis.

Victor and Internet entepreneurlad went.

Then Gordon Ramsay did a cooking evening with the TV audience on Ch4, with Chris Moyles, and a live feed to the 'house'...

And then Anthony won the challenge to go into a 'snug' with three hollyoaks girls, came back, decided he was 'the man' and threw water over john for not being respectful enough, or something.

Scott Mills is the next celebrity.

Scott Mills was last night's hijacker. I didn't watch for that reason. Tonight's is the two guys who are doing BBBM, who I find pretty funny actually, but I suspect I might be alone there.

They were Friday, weren't they? They were on the highlights show shown on Saturday afternoon.

Were they? My mistake.

I could be wrong, I haven't been watching any of this and only saw the bit I did on Saturday while skimming through the channels.

^no that was the live feed, they will be on tonight probs.

Yeah, Ant-knee seemingly attempting to snatch defeat from the jaws of certain victory by bieng a vain, egotistical prick who can't take his drink, and also playing Calista for a fool into the bargain.

How come Jeremy gets to have two girls - Emilia and Amy - to fawn over him the whole time?

Mackenzie Crook
Mackenzie shot to fame as Gareth Keenan, the quirky geek with a funny haircut in the TV hit comedy 'The Office' in 2001. Since then his career has gone from strength to strength with Mackenzie joining the Hollywood elite. He's now perhaps best known for his character Ragetti in the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' trilogy.

Hollywood elite = bit part in a Johnny Depp movie

Emilia and Latoya are up for eviction. It's a 'she's a bitch, no she is' type scrap. Fodder for Harry Hill's TV Burp, I guess.

Next Celeb is Nicole Appleton.

.. along with Melanie Blatt.

And why not?

Latoya went

I guessed.

The only bit I saw was the two AllSaints in the room, chilling out with everyone.

Um, yeah.

Oh a comedy stand up. Basically,people insulting each other. Anthony can not do comedy, it just came over as vicious. Whereas leon? the gay guy anyway, was funny by being wayyyy extreme.

Right, since you asked:

Up for eviction (and two will go) be:
Calista
Nathan
Amy
Jeremy
Emilia
Jay

Anthony escaped as the noms were public, and I guess they knew he'd go off on one. John had a total bye to the final. So, I guess it's Jeremy and Jay to go.

Tonight's show Celeb is Jimmy Carr.

and tomorrow night it's:

http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/media/images/Channel4/bb_celeb_hijack/d23/day/bbch_d23_1430_booth_298.jpg
Malcolm.

"The first thing to know is that I'm not going to be your Big Brother, I'm certianly not God. I'm far from it," Malcolm told the House. " I'm your best friend as an anti-god. I want to transform this house."

And then the Hijacker had a stark message for the young housemates. "You might think you'll be successful. Well you're not." Ouch.

After telling them a story about success, Malcolm laid it on the line. "To fail is to abandon all rules. Failure isn't a bad thing. It strengthens your resolve. I'm going to try and embark on a journey that will make you forget all you've ever learnt. I'm going to be a kind of mentor, a shapeshifter." Blimey.

The housemates went silent, en masse, for the first time in three weeks, lapping up his unusual instructions. John sat open-mouthed, Calista chewed her hoody. This could be interesting...

it's like this... Malcolm's task lasts for two days, not a few hours. All the furniture has been stripped from the Living Area. Housemates will be given rolls of corrugated cardboard, which they must step inside and unravel, while blindfolded, bumping into one another (still with us? Good.)

After they have unravelled their cardboard, they will lay it on the floor. Each housemate will paint one another and roll on the cardboard creating their new walls to the House.

Later, Malcolm will enter the House to educate the housemates on the fine wines, giving them crates of information.

And finally, when he leaves the House, the housemates must audition for him by playing the game Guitar Hero. The housemates will play in pairs and be given 10 minutes to impress him but when the last four take to the stage, Malcolm will already have gone. And if that doesn't mess them up, it all begins again tomorrow...

So, I guess it's Jeremy and Jay to go

Really? I would have thought Calista + one other, prob. Jeremy but pref. Emilia.

Yeah, I'm predicting "insecure" Calista and "victim" Emilia.

...although it was, in fact, "OMG I'm Joint Third Ugliest" Calista and Fierce/Fierce/Fierce/Vulnerable Jay.

"OMG I'm least intellegent" Calista wasted most of her time and made a fool of herself over Anthony.
Still, fair enough, leave all the major players - and Normski - in there for the final.
John or Amy FTW, then, though no doubt it'll be petty-minded egotist Anthony, coz he iz so buff.

John or Amy seem to be the 'popular' choices.

Jeremy could be the outside bet.

Please, not Anthony.

Jeremy has consistently been my favourite, so him to win, please.

Here are odds.

It's been tough to call this as there has not been the usual "bigbrotheronline" poll to grab some statistics, unless they've relocated some place.

Amy 8 - 11
Anthony 5 - 2
John 5 - 1
Emilia 9 - 1
Jeremy 18 - 1
Nathan 25 - 1

I'm not sure why Nathan is so low in the ratings, and the Jeremy price seems generous. But usually there are only two or three clear favourites. This time, it seems there is only one.

Amy would be a good win, John also. Anthony would be verrbad. So, do we take that turn to wanting good people to win, or rather the badboy and more of that 'people scrapping on TV pleez' for the next BB? Is that what you want, cuz that's wot will 'appen!

The Malcolm bit was quite good after all.

He proposed the 'bodyart' thing, but immediately offered them 'get out' if they were uncomf with the idea. Amy and John opted out, John for the 'not going the George Galloway' ticket, Amy for the '50 reasons' unstated, the rest had fun with it, so much that John was tempted to join in anyway but kept Amy company.

The wine tasting was done in black and white. I didn't see the 'Guitar Hero' but it seemed odd as JRott and co had reconvened to make a re-recording for that game so I guess Malc prompted them in that direction.

Kate Lawler was up on last nights show, brought in a thai takeaway etc.

Next 'celebrity' was JJ, a Ch4 website competition winner. Conspicuous by absence from TV show and c4 website, apart from what I just mentioned.

Big finish = Sugababes, and the live conclusion tonight.

Well, I guess I'll be there.

Talcy Malcy was well crepy: "Hi I'm an aging shitbag, can all of you 19-21 yr olds please strip off in front of me and smear yourselves in paint, k thnx"
I'm surprised only two opted out.

Anthony ripping into Jeremy during the dress-up-as-each-other task was kinda the best thing he's done. he was harsh but otm. I mean, all that "dump Tom, gimmie a kiss / Amy's sister: phwoar" stuff was a bit rum.

Don't know who'll end up winning this, not all that bothered either, really, but Emilia is a strong dark horse candidate here.

John.

How did Emilia finish second? Who would vote for her? Or did John just hoover up so many votes, the rest were just left fighting for the scraps?

I think that's quite probable. Still, Emilia came out to general pandemonium and lots of girlies going "boooooo, noooooo you are too young, pretty, flexible and not humble enough boooo"

Emilia got about 46% of the final vote, John 54%.

I think it might have been like that until Amy went, then Emilia picked up the "not John ffs, what has he even done?" vote.

Eh? That means no-one else got any votes? How does the voting work?

Anybody else feel that John winning was pretty much a foregone conclusion? Voting was closer than I thought it might be, but the first night Matt Lucas was getting John to do stupid stuff - he was a sport about it and carried on being good natured throughout the series.

Oh god yes: The only factor holding him was the immunity from all nominations. The guy was sussed enough not to get into any "Galloway" moments, and managed to keep a cool head without making it look as if he was doing it on purpose.

Anyway, now what?

Emilia photoshoot for Nuts etc?

Victor on homicide charge by end of year?

How does it bode for BB9? I don't want it to be a freakshow, but neither do I want to sit through a zed-fest - which it might very well end up being if the producers decide.

What i would like is the best of both worlds. Take some normal (ie, normal to big brother, not partial celebs like in hijack) contestants but FFS give them something to do all day!!!

What was great about cleb hijack was that the contestants were given STIMULUS and we could watch the REACTING. If they could do the same with the regular gaggle of fame hungry freaks who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty or damage their future careers then we could have some entertainment again.

If bb9 is just another howevermany weeks of depriving people of everything but human contact and waiting for some of them to kick off just for something to do then i don't think i can watch it. It's too dull./

Amy Jackson, 21, from Leeds, a conceptual artist, came third with 21.9 per cent of the vote and Anthony Ogogo, 19, a boxer, from Lowestoft, was fourth with 21.6 per cent

I'm chuffed Amy got more than Anthony, it did seem like he was going to win.

All the percentages, if anyone's interested (as of the time when the housemate was evicted, so they don't add up to 100% of course)

6th.Nathan-5.4%
5th.Jeremy-15.6%
4th.Anthony-21.6%
3rd.Amy- 21.9%
2nd.Emilia-46.1%
1st. John- 53.9%.

Oh, and for anyone who didn't watch, Nathan and Jeremy were announced at the same time, as were Anthony and Amy. So if Nathan and Jeremy got 21% between them at the first vote count, that means 79% left for the other 4, which means less than 20% each on average (so it must have been pretty close if they all got above 15.6).