Help guide boorish Abbott to successful summer wedding

Where the hell do I get one?

I'm too dumb to go on!

Aren't registries awfully rude? I find the whole idea embarrassing but sometimes, OTOH, I am too modest for my own good.

Congratulations?

Haha thanks!

do you have to wear a traditional dress? if it's a summer wedding, you could just wear a pretty summer dress. i think registries are a great idea - that way you get stuff you actually want/need and it makes it easier for your guests who may be confounded.

I have always hated weddings and I have no idea how to wrangle a totally chillaxed and fun one without offending my family.

Congratulations Abbott! You should wear what you want - it's your wedding. You can rent fancy dresses, or check CL, etc. if it comes to that. And! Miss Manners has probably got a whole book on wedding stuff!

Wooo, get a klezmer band to play. Congrats and stuff, too.

I read hell of Miss Manners but she's far more traditional than I want out of a wedding. What is CL?

Sorry if it was unknown I was gettin' hitched. I tell four people something and assume it's all covered bcz I hate repeating myself.

MARRIED TO THE GAME

We're getting married in a library auditorium! Totally badass! And only $80.

Don't wear a wedding dress! Just wear a dress you like. My wife wore this fab dark-red dress at our wedding and it ruled. No tuxes in sight, too!

CL = craigslist?

Pay a friend in beer to DJ the event, and/or get a Wii to entertain folks at the reception.

Dresses! Wedding dresses scared the crap out of me. I tried on one traditional poofy type thing and just lauged. I ended up figure out a good trick - bridesmaid dresses!! Many of them are formal enough to look appropriate just not as bride-y etc. Most are also available in ivory or white. Mine was less than $3oo including extra length and alterations. Mine was from Dessy. There are pics on facebook if you want to see!

Also, I agree with LC that colored dresses can be amazing. I always thought I'd wear one but ended up ordering the bm dress in ivory anyway. www.indiebride.com has some really good info/advice on the "Kvetch" forums. Whatever you do, stay away from www.theknot.com. Good luck.

Eloping totally rules. A+++ would do again.

Library wedding sounds fun :) CL does = craigslist, sorry. When Mr. Jaq and I got married 4 years ago, we kept it very casual, but we both wanted to dress up. I found an emerald green ball gown; he wore a tux with a purple brocade vest - guests were in jeans/shorts/dresses/whatever - a small group and held on the roof of our apartment building overlooking Puget Sound (free!). Family members into drama weren't invited (sorry Mom! sorry Dad!).

you didn't invite your mom & dad to your wedding?

I think I'd rather have a little potential drama during the weeding from the 'rents than not inviting them (was a serious consideration) and getting ragged about it for the rest of my goddamn life.

This was just me.

yay! Just remember: this day is actually (not) about you. :-)

yeah, don't forget... that. um.

Congrats! What are you doing re after-wedding bash/food/sochali-zing? Or will you just take off in a swish of non-ivory skirts?

Congratulations!

(Was I the only one who knew she was already getting married?)

(you know everything!)

See, ljubljana, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing after the wedding. But I suppose it is dumb to come to ILX and be like "make all my decisions guys"!

(we knew she was getting married just not when)

It took us a year to figure out "when," why the hell did I think six months would be enough to figure out "how"?

my engagement time was five months. you'll be fine--you think up quirky shit all the time, just aim it towards the wedding

Congrats!

The obvious way to shut up everyone is to have a star trek wedding:

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/en/images/d/d4/Jadziaworfwedding.jpg

They will object at first, but insist that your backup plan is even worse. No one will call this bluff.

Congratulations!!! Wedding dress shopping suxors. Registering feels greedy and weird, but it is worth doing because it really DOES help your guests and also because it cuts down on people giving you seriously wtf gifts.

As others have pointed out, it is YOUR wedding, so do it the way you want to!

I suppose the problem is I have no idea how I want to do it. I'm pretty much only excited about designing the invites.

you should wear a retro seventies tux and your boyf should wear a tutu. awesome. and make the whole thing dress-up - all the guests.

Abbott i will totally deejay your wedding.

have Laibach play your wedding!

that's my ultimate dream anyway.

It took us a year to figure out "when," why the hell did I think six months would be enough to figure out "how"?

We were engaged in January and married in July - planning in six months is totally possible. In fact, it forces you to make quick decisions which can be a good thing in the end.

Ned - I knew she was engaged too. Maybe we're just the observant ones. ;-)

congrats abbott!

my advice: you're too young to get married! love

-grady

Bring in strippers for the reception.

Theme suggestion!

Abbott I totes knew u were engaged of course.

btw abbott you have revealed yrself as the secret identity of ilx legend cankles

i hope dis nigga twirls HELL OF moustaches in this shit

-- cankles, Sunday, December 30, 2007 5:23 AM

I read hell of Miss Manners but she's far more traditional than I want out of a wedding.

-- Abbott, Saturday, January 5, 2008 9:22 PM

A HOOS RESTS HIS CASE

http://www.ohnorobot.com/index.pl?comic=636&s=%22hell+of%22&search=Find

j crew has some nice dresses that work great as wedding dresses that aren't hugely girly. ebay also has a million wedding/bridesmaid/ball dresses both new and used for a huge range of prices.

i'd say go get martha stewart weddings (or find one in a library and copy instead of tear) and tear out the "planning" section. hers is particularly clear and useful. panic a bit as it's like 10 pages of crap to do. sit down with your intended and cross everything you don't want. for us, that was a LOT (no limo, no venue flowers, no church, no bridesmaids, etc). that'll make you feel better. when you have a short list of what has to be done, figure out how much time you can and want to spend on it. i'm not a girly girl at all, but enjoyed researching food and venues, so spent a lot of time doing that (and eating free food samples! free cake samples are good as well).

the other practical tip is to sit down and make a budget, do some real research and then try to cut a bit out of every single category. we managed to save several thousand dollars by making a few changes, and i didn't miss anything we cut at all (like favors? who cares about favors?)

i agree that you should avoid the knot as people there can be petty and nasty, so unlike ILX. indiebride was invaluable to me. i really enjoyed our wedding and think our guests did as well-- several said it was much more personal/romantic than many they'd been to, and that's because we picked the traditions we liked and chucked the rest. have fun and don't beat yourself up if you get a bit stressed, it'll be over soon.

oh, and plan a honeymoon of some kind. we figured we'd wait a while since we moved just before the wedding and we SO needed it, ended up just packing the car and skipping town for a few weeks.

if you have a male dog, apply a miniature bow tie to his neck and allow him to roam free at the reception

also use a Microsoft Excel (.xls) spread sheet to organize the guest list and keep track of meal preferences, given gifts, and save-the-date/R.S.V.P./thank-you card status.

if you have a male dog, apply a miniature bow tie to his neck and allow him to roam free at the reception

OTFM

Oh, man, I love Abbott's dog so much that I MUST see that!

i have failed to woo abbott away from her her man

Wow, thx colette! iiiijjjj, my dog will look so adorably dapper thx to your suggestion.

I think THIS is the website I must avoid the most:

http://www.joshreads.com/images/0412/i041228cathy.gif

To think, they make you write everything you need to do on a giant sheet of product placement!

Okay, now I'm actually remembering questions I had:

What is a rehearsal dinner? Is it a dinner held after a rehearsal wedding (do they do those)? Is it where you practice eating dinner? Because I've done that for 24 years and I'm still not very good at it; this one extra won't tilt the scales I don' think. And who all gets invited? And WHY?

rehearsal dinner is a wedding rehearsal where you get all the nuts and bolts (you walk here at this time, you move here at this time, etc.) ironed out, then usually a dinner with just the wedding party/immediate family... a little more intimate gathering the night before the wedding.

also you can get everyone's fucking toasts out of the way at the rehearsal dinner so at your wedding reception its just your maid of honor and your dad no one has to listen to a million people talking about how long they've known you etc.

YES!

Oh jesus thank god. Good idea. I was the best man at my friend's wedding and I gave him a toast, as required:

Me: Logan's totally great and I wish the best for him and his wife. (Srsly all I said, shit had been going on three hours at this point.)

Then my mom-in-law, who had never met the groom, decides to give a 15 minute toast to him. "Abbie's said the most wonderful things about him blah blah blah"...Jesus F. So if it's her SON, who she spends 20 minutes in regular conversation explaining....yeah. No go diggy-dye. Good idea gr80.

Also you can totally come DJ if you want gray-dee, but you'd have to fly to Boise & back & I'm not sure that would be a feasible or worthwhile expense.

I have no idea who zees cankles eez.

ok abbott i'll think about it.

is a$hley going to be there?

also, decide what you want your reception to be without feeling like you HAVE to do anything. there doesn't HAVE TO be dancing. you can just barbeque or whatever. you don't even have to feed people a whole dinner, either. you can just stick with Hors D'Oeuvres.

make it a potluck dinner and BYO - totally save your $$$!!!

I doubt she will, gradez, I think it's kind of unfair to ask anyone who's like +400 miles from Boise to come (and expect them to, anyway). I haven't asked her yet, tho. Like srsly grady you prolly shouldn't since time + flight + we'd have nowhere for you to stay + you wouldn't know anyone would probably not be worth it for you I'll let you know if Ptis4 does decide to come along, tho.

The speech you gave sounds perfect, Abbott. Our best man's speech was hysterical but very English as in he pretty much roasted, L. I think a lot of the American guests were confused about why he was making fun of the groom. Short and sweet toasts are the best because really, nobody wants to listen to that, they just want to drink. Cocktail recetptions (ie. Hors D'Oeuvres only) are really popular these days and can be a lot of fun. Also, on the rehearsal dinner thing - it's traditionally paid for by the groom or his family but again, you don't have to follow those rules anymore really. My friends getting married this June are having a rehearsal bbq at the grooom's parents' house!

my sister's wedding was a bit insane and included a bbq two days before for out of town people, a rehearsal that included way too many of the groom's family, and then the actual wedding reception which had champagne toast immediately post ceremony, then hors d'oeuvres and dinner at another venue!

I'm not sure if I should have alcohol at the reception* bcz my family (my side) is Mormon and it would break their hearts, it would. OTOH, I'm not getting married in the temple, so their hearts are pretty damned broken as it stands. But it will probably be 85% drinkers of all nation, creed and color and 15% teetotally Mormons. So I don't know what to do about that.

*Definitely not at the wedding bcz I think there is a "no booze in the library" rule.

Oh, they're not contributing to the wedding at all, btw, so it wouldn't be on their dollar.

abbott, I have Muslim friends who got married with a similar demographic breakdown of guests and officially there was no alcohol, but unofficially there was a secret alcohol room. i know that sounds insane, but there was no major crisis.

also, congratulations!

Oh, they're not contributing to the wedding at all, btw, so it wouldn't be on their dollar.

So tell 'em they're getting what they're paying for.

kegger.

WOOT! I say "No to Sierra Nevada, yes to smiles!" June 21, 2008

flasks for everyone!

I'm a groomswoman in my best friend's wedding that day. Summer solstice - good choice! :-)

We had shitloads of alcohol at ours - they were passing champagne out to the guests before the ceremony even started. That said, I've been to dry weddings before and it was totally fine. You can always go to a bar with your friends as an after party!

Get married in a garden and you will hardly need to buy flowers.

Don't fret too much about it if you decide against alcohol - booze fundamentalists can be more annoying than religious fundamentalists imho, but both are going to be in the minority at your wedding. (er, wait, maybe I shouldn't be calling your family religious fundamentalists. No offense intended).

A much more minor issue, relatively, but we had to compromise between my conservative Jewish family and wife's TOTALLY atheist, anti-religious Israeli family. My dad, who officiated, crossed the line only slightly in the ceremony but was ultimately pretty cool about everything.

And either way, I favor limited alcohol consumption at a wedding. Avoid embarrassing confessions, fights and, god forbid, post-wedding accidents.

My overall attitude - go something like 60-40 or 70-30 what you and your fiancee want to what the families want. It's your wedding, but some concessions are warranted.

I was the best man at my friend's wedding and I gave him a toast

OMG Abbott, I was best man at my best mate's wedding too! It always briefly throws people when you tell them/. I didn't even plan my speech! I was tipsy enough to just make some stuff up.

And congrats on finally setting a date and good luck with allyr planning! Don't feel you have to do things in ANY kind of trad way - none of my friends have and I certainly won't be.

This is the only photo I have of just us two together from that day and I threw out my standard pose. o_O

http://b8.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01366/89/01/1366401098_l.jpg

Tried to dress all like Edwardian dandy as I could...maybe I should just wear that outfit as my wedding clothes (or w/a skirt) bcz it was TOTALLY BADASS.

we didn't have a wedding rehearsal (and only finished writing the ceremony and vows the day before, so it would have been hard to rehearse anything), but we had a "rehearsal dinner" because everyone there had flown in, basically, and it seemed stupid to only see them once. we went out for pizza. we also hosted brunch at our house the day after the wedding which sounds stressful but was really fun-- we bought bagels and coffee at einsteins, fruit platter and smoked salmon from grocery store, OJ, cheap sparkling wine and other drinks. it was one of the most relaxing parts of the weekend.

also, depending on your state's laws, you could have a friend "ordained" online by the ULC-- we had our "reverend rabbi" who was an excellent officiant.

if you're having a dry wedding, you could think about having the ceremony earlier in the day and having a breakfast/brunch/lunch reception, where people don't expect drinks as much. plus it's usually cheaper per person.

please note that i am not a wedding-obsessed person, it's just that after planning an international wedding long distance over two years, i picked up a lot of now useless knowledge, so it's nice to throw it out there if it seems at all useful.

xpost-- that picture is totally adorable!

OMG Trayceface are you getting married or is it the proverbial "when I get married someday"?

John's fams (mom & older sisters all totally Punch Drunk love family dynamics) like flipped in v mean/loud way when we told them we decided we're doing it for real this summer, and it turns out they thought we were having babies right away & would not be financially/emotionally ready for it. ??? They never asked me and I have no idea how they got this idea. So this is the Fun Stuff I get to anticipate/get prepared to not take personally & PLAY IT COOL, DADDY-O.

Yeah, we're getting our friend who has reverend's license from ULC/Church of Subgenius to officiate. RAD. I know my vows will be completely impossible to understand as I'll be sobbing up the storm of the century.

Hahah Ab thats way better than the PVC pants, white shirt and black braces combo I had to wear =)

Xpost: No plans to marry but lets just say I'm with someone I can very easily see being married to in the not too distant future :)

Other Tests in Idaho:

As required by Idaho Code 32-412A, you both need to read and sign a premarital AIDS educational pamphlet.

HAHAHAHAHa oh holy shit.

xp that is v sweet that you and yr new beau are getting on so great :D

Hey Abbott my friend got married to an American Mormon girl a couple of years ago, actually he's a Mormon too but British. They had booze at the wedding for friends and the non-Mormon half of his family and everyone concerned seemed cool with that.

Admittedly it was at the house of his ex-Mormon homosexual father so I suppose they couldn't really argue. Plus once all the Mormons went home he used the marquee as a big gay disco!

I did feel I should be maybe slightly more restrained with the booze than I otherwise would at a wedding, though...

Our budget wedding:

1. Married at the courthouse on Sat. morning.
2. Small party at a bar that evening with two hours of open bar and buffet food.
3. My parents paid for the food/booze as a wedding gift, and Fagotron Chilxor Jesse did the flowers.
4. I bought sale dresses at a department store so got TWO, one for the wedding, one for reception.

Here are pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennyandjeff/

I hate planning and arranging and human logistics so this was pretty minimal and thus pretty stress free. We had the wedding far away from where any of our family lives so only the hardcore relatives who actually like us came, which saved money and rage.

Oh, also I was the "best man" at a friend's wedding, too. I think those pictures have fallen into the black hole of my free flickr account, but I was the only person to stand up on the groom's side. The bride had like seven attendants. It was funny, but still worked out really well somehow.

We didn't have a rehearsal dinner, but we ordered pizza at our apartment the night before the wedding and Jeff's mom and grandma made pie for wedding desert. (We also had cupcakes.) What else... oh after we got married we went out for breakfast because we were starving!

One more thing then I won't talk about it anymore because I'm boring myself and it was my wedding - we put all of the expenses leading up to the event on a credit card and then paid off the card with the money that we got as gifts. Then we went to Dodgeville, WI for a weekend for our honeymoon: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeff/sets/570756/.

abbs fwiw i had a very mormon brother get married in august and the reception was wet (for brides' side of the family) and my fam didn't seem to mind. if the alcohol is low-key and the mormon/non-mormon ratio is correct i think it's perfectly fair and i doubt they'd get too miffed about it.

x-post matt dc otm

Your wedding and honeymoon pics rock, Jenny. Also: ilxors at the reception = win!

please note that i am not a wedding-obsessed person, it's just that after planning an international wedding long distance over two years, i picked up a lot of now useless knowledge, so it's nice to throw it out there if it seems at all useful.

Same here only I only had six months to do the planning. Now I have all this knowledge I'll never need again so it only seems right to pass it along!

BTW Colette, did you post your wedding pics in Weddings we Loved on Kvetch? I know I saw someone from here in there.

no, i never got around to doing a recap (and should remember that when i've got 2 months bored and alone in the office coming up), but sarah from chicago was also on there, and she might have done one?

Yes, it was definitely Sarah because now that I think about she posted one of the wedding pics on a WDYLL thread and that's when I put two and two together. Small internet world. I didn't do one until two or three months later and it was just pictures. I was so glad all the planning etc. was over I just didn't have it in me to do a play by play.

also, because i'm enjoying looking at jenny's wedding photos, here's a link to mine in case anyone is interested:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/colettes/sets/72157602045974569/

we got a pro photographer at a really great price. we advertised on craigslist for what we wanted (6 hours and high-res images on disc, no albums or anything) and had over 100 responses within our budget. it's so the way forward, and our photographer was great.

what a gorgeous wedding (and couple)!!

abbott, just so you know, i am ordained.

if that's for us, thanks! if it's for jenny and jeff, i agree-- i especially like the city hall pics.

All your pics (jenny and colette) and inspired me to throw some of mine into a flickr set too:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/enbb/sets/72157603651344040/with/2173190257/

Our photographer absolutely sucked :-( so the few professional ones in that batch are scanned from actual pics. There's a mixture of one's from the wedding, some from the afterparty, and one from our second city hall wedding (long story).

Abbott - I think the most valuable piece of advice I can give is get a good photographer even if you have to splurge a little. It will totally be worth it.

when my my mum and stepdad got married more than 20yrs ago they were absolutely dirt poor and had a total cheap-ass wedding, but mum insisting on splurging on a really really good photographer.

ENBB is right - those photos still look beautiful and classy and (almost) timeless. well, except that a week before, i fell off my bike and split my chin wide open, which apparently 'ruined' the wedding party photos (i was flowergirl). lots of pics of me holding my posy up like i'm sniffing it.

Our reception was in this really bare bones, run down covered area with a cement floor and a simple roof. It was amazing how nice it looked once we just added some linens on the tables, white chairs, cheap white string lights, paper lanterns, and a bunch of warm, happy-looking people.

you can save a lot of money by just being willing to put in some extra work and find things yourselves instead of hiring "experts" to do stuff for you. this might be hard with your limited time frame but it could still be worth it

things that are incredibly expensive scams:

a. hiring a florist instead of just going out and buying some flowers and vases
b. hiring a DJ instead of just using an ipod or asking a friend to DJ
c. fancy wedding favors instead of something simple or nothing at all
d. most wedding invitation packages
e. wedding dresses (just buy a nice white dress that isn't necessarily a wedding dress)
f. wedding rings (it's not that hard to find bargains if you shop around and are open-minded)

things worth spending some money on:
a. a venue that you like and are excited about
b. catering (though this can also be an expensive scam, it's worth paying some money for a caterer you trust because they can end up handling a lot of the logistics and decor, not just food)

(note: it's easy for me to say this stuff because sarah did like 80% of the work for our wedding)

though some people would probably put rings in the second category because you have to wear them all the time and see them all the time.

Here is the indiebride recap I made of our wedding.

I second alot of this advice!

A budget is super important. It's amazing how things add up, even when you're DIYing it as much as possible. And yes, don't forget about budgeting it in the honeymoon! We ended up making a honeymoon registry instead of a regular one so we could go somewhere fun, but then my coworkers peer pressured me into making a couple 'normal' registries for the work party. I figured if they REALLY wanted to buy me presents...

I know people can get all sappy about their wedding days, but I seriously loved everything about ours. I was a bit of a stressball beforehand, worried especially about how my super conservative and religious right relatives would react, but in the end my only regret was that I didn't hire a photographer. Oh, well.

Registries aren't rude, in fact they're save everyone involved stress, hassle, and disappointment.

-- Jesse, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:26 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

jesse maybe you should post that on the wedding thread instead of here. just a helpful suggestion

-- n/a, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:34 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

The thread is two days old and I don't feel like reading it to see if there has already been discussion on this point.

-- Jesse, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:35 AM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

no dude I was wondering about registeries

-- dan m, Monday, January 7, 2008 9:36 AM (28 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Now you know where Jesse stands on registries.

My friend Courtney, who is from Long Island, said that she was very surprised when she moved to NC and saw that people gave gifts for a wedding. In her experience the appropriate gift is paper money.

And why do none of them cost less than $250 (min)? Jesus F.

damn my wedding dress cost $3500. i thought that was pretty average.

our gift registry was at target but noone got me the rollerskates i requested or pp the 16 pack of AA batteries he requested :(

Congrats, Abbott!

I just got my "wedding" dress. It's actually a bridesmaid's dress, and was insanely cheap.

damn my wedding dress cost $3500. i thought that was pretty average.

seriously? gahhhhh i can't imagine ever being able to afford a "wedding"

yeah sarah's "wedding dress" was less than $200 but was not technically a wedding dress. it looked good though

oh, abbo. You braek haert, shatter illusions. That man is no good for you, you are meant to be shared among all the sassy (and dare I say, attractive) young men of ilx.

I like the photo series of jenny trying on dresses.

we DIYed our invitations with a kit from target and graphic design skills from ILX's own ledge. i changed my mind about flowers so often and so much that 2 days before the wedding i went into my local grocery store, said "can you do flowers for my wedding in 2 days?" and she didn't bat an eye. and i had dahlias, which i'd wanted all along and all the fancy florists said couldn't be done! also, if you get involved with indiebride or similar, you might find someone in your city who you can swap services with-- i don't know what we would have done without sarah telling my clueless relatives how to work the polaroid, or directing the caterers in setup. thanks again, sarah!

our wedding clothes were the big splash out. i liked a designer (nonwedding) dress that i could never afford. i convinced toby that for the same price as a traditional wedding dress, we could fly to hong kong and buy a custom made knockoff, and get a holiday in the deal. it wasn't far off, actually! i loved my dress and it was a touch more than i should have spent, but if i were the kind of person that went to black-tie events, i could re-wear it. and toby's custom tux looks *amazing* on him, it was really worth buying. he just can't gain a single ounce in the next 20 years.

To add to Nick's point, almost anything with "wedding" in front of it is a scam, for that matter.

Unfortunately this can include catering. One solution, if you're the scheming type, is to just not tell the caterer it's a wedding - just say it's a party.

We wound up getting the food (very cheap) from a local Turkish eatery we loved that didn't usually do weddings. We contracted out one company to bring the linens and such, another to provide a couple of staffers to set up, serve drinks, etc., and then hired a *planner* just to manage everything on the wedding day so we didn't have to think about it. All this combined probably came out to about 20% less than the minimum we would have spent on the full-service catering, and it was much better food. But of course it was WAY more work and stress, so it depends how much time and effort you want to put in.

i feel bad that i find planning a wedding a complete pain in the ass. we have the big stuff done (date, venues, dj-ing friends, dress), but stuff like flowers makes me just want to run to whole food and buy a bunch of tulips. also, food: we were going to have pork bbq, but now we're having the reception at the jcc, therefore no pork. ;_;

We wound up getting the food (very cheap) from a local Turkish eatery we loved that didn't usually do weddings

This reminds me to contact my favorite Puerto Rican restaurant in town. Plantains for everyone!

MOLLY WHERE IS DRESS WHERE WHERE???

molly, totally just go with whole foods! i was so shocked at how good my flowers were, and all the people flowers, which had been quoted from $1000-$2000 (for a bouquet, some bouts and some corsages) were $150. i wanted to kiss the girl when she told me how much our total would be.

also, to anyone at the beginning stages of planning, the book "bridal bargains" is a really useful read, it covers a lot of what's been said on this thread in a lot of details. i know it's where i got a lot of my cost-saving ideas.

Srsly, you have Puerto Rican food at your wedding, it'll be cheap as water and delicious, and everyone will be impressed at your innovation and relieved that they don't have to eat another salmon fillet.

I used to feel weird about registries, since they're all, "I'm going to tell you what to buy me," which removes any kind of personal touch, but I think Jesse is right that they save everyone time and stress, and it's probably worse to get a whole pile of stuff you don't need. My problem is that I always procrastinate, so most of the registry has already been purchased by the time I look at it.

Also I used to grumble at how much I was expected to spend on wedding gifts until someone reminded me that it helps offset the cost of the wedding itself, where you're basically eating and drinking for free, and then I felt better about shelling out.

My only concern re: Puerto Rican food is their love of pork (no pork or meat and dairy policy at the Jewish Community Center).

Yeah, there might even be pork grease in the plantains for all you know

Registry gifts >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 50 different oddly shaped crystal and ceramic bowls (you'll get 10 even if you register)

It's very sad about the kosher thing but you won't be able to bring outside food into their facility, I imagine. We'll have to eat our plantains elsewhere -- maybe rehearsal dinner can be PR??

My friend Courtney, who is from Long Island, said that she was very surprised when she moved to NC and saw that people gave gifts for a wedding. In her experience the appropriate gift is paper money.

I'm from Long Island and that's where we got married and I can say that your friend's experience is common. We only got three gifts off the registry at the actual wedding. The other gifts were all check and or cash. On LI people seem to buy stuff off the registry for the bridal shower and give money at the wedding.

damn my wedding dress cost $3500.

I think that is pretty average I just couldn't justify spending it myself and didn't really like any of the real wedding dresses. I think my $300 plus L's awesome suit were under $1000 total. My dad, on the other hand, who bitched about money the whole time went out and bought himself a $2500 suit for the day. ha.

Laurel, Mr. Pike's family are handling the rehearsal dinner, and they already have it catered (I have no idea by whom). Also, it's in the clubhouse of the old people's community. Hot times!

Someone else was telling me that at Catholic (I think, but it might have been some other religion or region or something) it is common practice to pass a box that gets stuffed with money. Apparently it can come to a substantial amount, exceeding 4 digits if you are lucky. I guess if a family member were getting married and I was expecting to put in money I would go shell out....$500? depending on how close we were. (Hell, I'd give my brother $2000 if he would dump his awful wife and re-marry.)

HENRY: What?
KAREN: Where's the money at? Is someone watching it?
HENRY: Don't worry about it. Nobody's gonna steal it here.

is it greek or italian wedding where they pin C notes to the brides dress. theres the happiest day of your life right there.

but was that money worth hearing "KAAARIN KAAAARIN"

xp

"it's in the clubhouse of the old people's community"

PREPAER FOR CREAM OF WHEAT WITH METAMUCIL CHASER

Mr Pike, I fully expect three-wheeled bicycles with giant baskets on the back as transpo around the facilities.

If we're lucky, we can get that old lady who made apricot squares that tasted like beef to help out with the desserts!

apricot squares that tasted like beef

Getting friends to help out is great, having been a friend doing stuff at weddings made me feel great and helped them loads. At one a group of us decorated the marquee, set up the bar and the sound system, collected the food that the brides mother had made, staffed the bar an DJed, at another some of us cooked the wedding feast. Your friends want to help you make a great day of it so make them work for their free booze and food. Think of stuff they can helpfully do.

helping out at a friend's wedding would be the coolest, but around here you just book a hotel, they handle pretty much everything (everything ends up crap and overpriced most of the time because of this)

sorry, totally congratulations too.

"apricot squares that tasted like beef"

This was totally true. Actually, to me they just SMELLED like beef, because I know better than to eat anything she prepares, but Molly didn't know who made them and ate a tiny bite of one and retched (visibly).

That poor old lady. She is a SURVIVOR.

That rules out her having used lard for the crust, then...?

So glad Roast Beef is going through all the fucking insaniacked shocks that I am, simultaneous to me.

Every day I feel like there are probably 9 million things I should have done/need to do and don't even know about them.

Wow, I think I had just returned to ILX when this thread was happening, so i really have to say Colette's dress is SO Beautiful! (As is she, and handsome groom, etc.)

Abbott, remind me again when the wedding is? Tomorrow? And is roast beef involved? Just remember jagermeister in the porta-potties.

i wonder what kind of wedding dress Alex in Baltimore wore

Woah is yr wedz tomorrow, Ab!? !!!

No, it's June 28. Wldn't be posting on ILX, the day before, I think! I'd be plying people to fill me with booze and hot wings and mad hugs.

can we start a paypal to buy abbott booze and hot wings? i would pledge $5

you should do a "trash the dress" photo where you just eat a bunch of hotwings and get buffalo sauce on the dress. i think i could actually not find a trash the dress photo morally repulsive if it involved hot wings.

You braek haert, shatter illusions. That man is no good for you, you are meant to be shared among all the sassy (and dare I say, attractive) young men of ilx.

BAHAHAHAHA how did I miss this before? Kenan, you scamp!

Dude NOTHING involving hot wings is morally repulsive!

i know!!!! 839473489574x less repulsive then jumping into a pool with your dress on.

see maybe if this pool was filled frank's red hot this pic could be awesome
http://www.dcnearlyweds.com/uploaded_images/Mark-Gardner-Photography-Spare-Pixles-net-725378.jpg

When I marry boi he better wear his Peter Gabriel stylee cloud suit dammit.

There are like 25 different pictures of me in HS with an entire orange in my mouth, juice running out, etc, looking distressed, which I thought was hilares. Not hilares for the growned-ups.

John knows there will be no cake-face-throttling allowed. That's my least favorite tradition.

Oh my gosh I would so not be sad if John dressed as Rael and threw Molotovs & shit.

Trayce u r genius.

We are gonna march to the altar to 'devo corporate anthem.'

Hahah awesome =)

My friends did theirs to the Star Wars theme or something.

My friends got married in a movie theatre and had the 'THX' sound play when they got there, before the officiant spoke. Can't hear it now without thinking of them. We threw popcorn instead of rice. One fun fucking wedding.

OK that is so much win.

omgosh i kept thinking this was about you going someone else's wedding! congratulations =P

'halp how does I shot mapquest wkjvsfd; ???'

OMG THIS IS NOT HAPPENING

Guys did you know the whole time I was talking about marrying DEEZNUTS, not some random man I have lived w/three years and who propsed to me IRL and on a WDYLL thread?

Where my hot wings, deez?

When i get married, I'm going to say, 'I do' and then quickly put on a mask of someone else at the ceremony and turn around to face the congregation whilst the creepy music they play at the end of each episode of LOST plays.

Then hold up a black piece of card with L O S T written on it.

o shit whoops this is totally happening

i luv hot wings i will make u hot wings

every night? for dinner?

ehhhhh once a week

if thats not good enough 4 u then im not either

You know I will eventually get to be 427 lbs at that rate, right? Eventually my only recourse will be to take up playing the double bass so some smug audience fuck can blow his bon mot load by shouting, "I've seen a double bass before, but never a double bassist!"

Oh man, I love hot wings.

hot wings arent fattening! i dont think they are anyway

not worried about u getting fat its just kind of a pain to make them

hahahahaha

Friday's Achewood:

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292008

Thursday's, that is.

Mikey I tht you were havening Achewood stylee wedding.

In what regard?

Didn't Cait post that strip about the invites or somethin'in that regard? Maybe I'm misremembering.

Ah, si, si.

Glah I am dyink.

Almost there! Exciting, isn't it?

Hells yeah! I am doing every aspie tic in the book to pass time/eat energy/calm down.

I'm flying out to Boise on Thursday and can't wait!

abbott is married now!! she must be on her honeymoon.

ABBOTT COME BACK AND POST PICS PLZ

congratulations, abbott!

Was Snitter your ringbearer?

totes congrats lady

i don't think enough has been made of this :D

is she alive

Abbs delayed her h'moon until next year, I b'leev. She's going to the Smifsonian.

Wes Anderson's doing a movie of the maid of honor, reverend & best man:

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/7262/wesandersonposterpx7.jpg

This is like one of two photos anyone's sent me so far, including the photographer:

http://photos-427.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v308/62/60/575791427/n575791427_994167_5661.jpg

your hair looks great.

is the maid of honor your sis?

you look A+ beautiful btw

Oh, so pretty!

:D yaay abbott!!!

So stylin. :-D

Heyyy rox, maid of honor is not my sis, but rather my best bud from age 15 on. (Former beloved surname was Irish, not Polish.) She totally sewed that suit all freehand w/no pattern.

I've found another pic or two on others' myspaces...it's so awesome that no one bothers sending them to me proper. I can't wait to get the official photos as there are some awesomes one of me busting out of the porta-potty in fits of glee.

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/6985/cuttingcakefh0.jpg

"How do I cuts low-res caek?"

Wait, I just noticed – John took his tie off an hour into the damn thing?

We're all like doctor-donna two headed white in that one.

MINDMELD

You look fantastic. And bit like the Clabber Girl! So classic.

k-lassic

bahaha kenan that rules. Clabber girl. I thought my mom was the lady on Blue Bonnet margarine when I was a kid.

Great pics - but they haven't answered the questions about the doggy's role in the wedding. On the other hand, I didn't know you had a squirrel tattoo before, so.

Squirrel Tattoo sounds like a band opening up for the Fleet Foxes

Squirrel? It's a cuscus!

The doggy had to stay in Las Cruces bcz I think a flight would have stressed the hell out of him. He practically gets a panic attack driving three miles in a car. I missed him so.

You cake looks like it's being attacked by an elder one. What's on top of it?

awesome squirrel_police tattoo!

You look fantastic in those photos - and congratulations!!!

slocki I cannot help that I carry the mark of the beast. It's what happens when you leave the Mormon church: your least favorite poster appears on your shoulder.

also mazel tov and all that jazz.

congratulations abbott!

Lots of congratulations, Abbott. You look beautiful.

More pictures, please. I'm having an absolutely shitty couple of days, and could use some happy wedding times cheer up photos.

Haha, srsly I would, but those are all I have! at the moment.

Awwww, congratulations, Abbott! You look fantastic!

thx y'all! It is way rad and lovely being married. I am a fan.

beautiful!!

loL, also, guy performing ceremony -rememsbles- what i imagine every male ilxor looking like!!

He was a Subgenius reverend!

We marched up aisle to Devo Corporate Anthem! We are some sub-brand of nyerd!

wow, that's awesome!

the victorious couple looks almost positively jazz age or some golden and eminently worthwhile approximation thereof

Then after the ceremony we played the part of "Final Countdown" that Gob uses and gave mad high fives! No joeks. :{

downright inspirational...

downright inspirational...

:D

Well, post them when you can, please. And congratulations again.

Be honest, open and forgiving with each other, and you will go far.

He was a Subgenius reverend!

-- Abbott, Sunday, July 13, 2008 11:26 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

We marched up aisle to Devo Corporate Anthem! We are some sub-brand of nyerd!

-- Abbott, Sunday, July 13, 2008 11:26 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ok this is the greatest wedding i have ever heard of

This is the BEST kind of nerd wedding. I love it.

what flavour is that green cake??

Bottom tier was white cake w/fresh raspberries & lemon curd instead of icing; second was mocha w/choco frosting, and top was banana w/peanut butter frosting! And it was all NOMS esp. the bottom, and about half was left over so I think I had cake every meal for two days.

Someone said the mocha level tasted like "meat" tho. !!!

ps I know all you sane people out there don't need this admonition, but I don't care how hip a dude you are, showing up (only half-invited) to a wedding in lol '70s shorty shorts is lame. Lame! That's right, Runs, you were lame.

such a faux-pas is deserving of an actual meat cake.

Abbott you look bootiful, and congrats and hurrays to you both :D <3 I *love* the deco style hairdo and dress you have, love it to bits.

Best of all, okay, amazing silk dress...only $180! This is what I get for shopping at Dillard's and not Quincieneras 'r' Us.

abbott!!!!!!!! you look gorgeous, love the dress and really great hair too!

congratulations abbott, wish u happiness

CONGRATS ABBOTT YOU LOOK REAL PURTY!!

We marched up aisle to Devo Corporate Anthem!

<3

that's perfect, it even sounds a bit like "Here Comes the Bride"

aw<3 my congratulations and wishes of greatest happiness and admiration.

Aww man, Abbs, congratulations from the bottom of my heart. You seriously do look spectacular in those pictures, and the wedding sounds amazing.

oh and congrats!

Just spotted this thread... Looks like you had a fab wedding, may you two have a fabulous future together as well! Congratulations!

Yes, congratulations from me too! You look great but slightly annoyed on those pics :-)

Congrats, Abbott!

I thought my mom was the lady on Blue Bonnet margarine when I was a kid.

I think I thought the same about my mom and Sun Maid raisins.

Congrats, btw!

^^ not sure what joke to make about Jaymc's mom right now

I guess there's no joke, just that the Sun Maid was a real looker.

Congrats again, Abbott!

Sounds (and looks) like such a memorable and FUN day!

Congrachoolayshuns Abbott!

It was super fun! It was fun & chill & cheap, just like I wanted it to be. And I found out my fave cousin, who is 15 and a girl, is also obsessed w/Dr. Who. So I kind of shortchanged some relatives their talking time bcz, well, it's not like they are going to talk about Dr. Who.

what is on an abbott's gift registry

1) jerky, lots of jerky

2) dr who complete series dvd set

3) deeznuts killfile

Thank god we have all lived long enough to see Abbott safely married!

congrats ABBS!!!! You rock the Clara Bow-esque faraway gaze look v well.

Congrats Mr & Mrs Abbott!

bahaha Edward! I will now accost y'all with some pictures. I finally got the (800+!) files from my awesome photog volunteer bud, and I'm not posting any of the 100+ where I'm sobbing.

First: HOOSBAND!

http://a159.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/25/l_c07472f8ec1cc2b4d77df4024608505e.jpg

http://a398.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/103/l_3a16ae211668acf38a91708eb6efabdd.jpg

Him w/maid of honor.

http://a514.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/59/l_ba794ac567b03006b9433f05b470aa61.jpg

Hoosband you can believe in! Si se puede!

He looks like he's going to conduct the cake, not slice it.

I get progressively more intense w/each family member:

Mom:

http://a656.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/72/l_cfee0af010992d1dfb36788e07cb1ca7.jpg

Dad:

http://a304.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/8/l_a20ea99ec88cdce5461c5532055836e7.jpg

Older of two 'little brothers' (they are perhaps too old to be called that):

http://a996.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/26/l_2c6795f55aa287eb14766c13f09c2c73.jpg

Aw, so cute abbott!

:D so awesome

awwwwww

Surprises:

1. I had no idea the neighbors (who shared the yard) would be moving that weekend, so there was a U-Haul in the background:

http://a485.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/25/l_d0a20bf30a10fad7783d0cae783883cc.jpg

2. While neither of these are traditional attire for an afternoon wedding, my econ friend looks totally debonair nonetheless. Other dude who I didn't really invite: could you stop being SUCH a hipster for three fucking hours?

http://a488.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/31/l_6ae2f4dc3390e2b98640b941cb62d91f.jpg

Yes to all that. :-)

First time all the McCracks were in one place since four years ago:

http://a957.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/112/l_be06a1795886c284e233fa3132ce5e2c.jpg

Abbs you are a vision. Your little brother looks like an evil possessed thing, though. In an adorable Mormon way.

We always scream together as a greeting.

Unless you mean my bro who started experimenting w/red hair dye. He is the coolest person in the world.

you look gorgeous. great dress, great hair.

i love that uhaul pic so much

lol your little brother is yawning, they're all the same :D

HOOSBAND!

this isn't Mr. aka the steendriver, right?

i hate that short shorts douche so much

why?

because he thought a wedding was the appropriate situation to play dress up as owen wilson in the royal tenenbaums?

sounds like you hate hipsters

I have met Hoos and his gal and they do not resemble the happy couple pictured above. Also Abbott lives way way way over yonder, while Hoos is a local yokel.

because he thought a wedding was the appropriate situation to play dress up as owen wilson in the royal tenenbaums?

Ha, yes - totally. He looks esp bad compared to Abbot's dapper friend.

When I walked into the reception at our wedding I saw that my Maid of Honor's boyfriend had showed up wearing jeans. That was a little weird because while not really formal or anything it def wasn't a jeans type situation. I can't even tell you how many people asked me who the hell the dude in jeans was. lol.

because he thought a wedding was the appropriate situation to play dress up as owen wilson in the royal tenenbaums?

-- n/a

actually i just realized he looks exactly like the retarded kid in the royal tenenbaums (dudley i think)

i hate that short shorts douche so much

-- n/a, Tuesday, July 29, 2008 9:42 AM (Tuesday, July 29, 2008 9:42 AM) Bookmark Link

why?

-- webinar, Tuesday, July 29, 2008 9:47 AM (Tuesday, July 29, 2008 9:47 AM) Bookmark Link

anyone who needs to ask why a dude WEARING SHORT SHORTS is hated needs to assess some things in my mind. he's also wearing fucking flip flops.

http://paveldanton3.googlepages.com/TheRoyalTenenbaums20015.jpg

bahaha I totally feel like dudley all the time. "Do you want to do any tests on me or experiments or anything?"

BAHAHAHA he has DUDLEY embroidered on his HAT.

this isn't Mr. aka the steendriver, right?

-- StanM, Tuesday, July 29, 2008 2:39 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

lol while Mr. HOOSBAND is a v lucky dude he is not me

It is my written way of trying to say it like Hermes' wife.

HOOSBAND!
WIFE O' MINE!