have you shagged ariane yet?

creepy uncanny valley shit...

She's not very fit.

I went too fast for her...

"Service Temporarily Unavailable"
So it's like real life - only with fewer timeouts...

I went for the kiss, she went "service temporarily unavailable" !

xpost SHE DID THE SAME THING TO ME!

Oh, and Dare you download the program and install it on your hard drive? Hmm?

I guess we exhausted her...

the "program" is just a bunch of webpages

"Sorry, but the bedroom is off limits!"

damn, i'm such a slut.

she keeps dismissing me because i pig out too much at dinner

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/slow.jpg
"I love jazz, I find it romantic."

Oh Arianebot...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/54/Ariane4.jpg/180px-Ariane4.jpg
sorry, this doesn't usually happen...

http://i9.tinypic.com/72rolt0.jpg

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"I love jazz, I find it romantic."

Oh really?! I like jazz, too. Have you heard of a guy named John Zorn?

It's amazingly realistic, I'm not getting anywhere here either.

:-)

I have a lot of "jazz mags" at home... (xpost)

no, that's "jizz"

"I love jizz, I find it romantic."

I got onto the steak dinner with wine haha

i made it to playing truth or dare in the hot tub! then it broke :(

ek she looks like how some alien wld think humans look like. actually sleep deprivation has rendered me asexual so iam not interested in droids thank god.

>kiss her

"let's try that with a little tongue this time"

>french kiss her

"you are moving to fast for me"

I got as far as the museum.

holy christ this is terrifying

yikes that kissy closeup makes it look like she is wearing a ton of makeup over bad skin

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/bottumsup.jpg
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

wau

HI DERE 2005

at least now the rest of us got to see what luna's got to offer

of course grady would be the first!

Done

Xpost 2 Jordan: Oh Snap CHAIN COMBO X3 MULTIPLIER

I like how the first screen implies that you've been leering through the window at her for some time.

INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY IN "ABSENCE OF SOCIALIST REALISM" SHOCKAH

SHE ALWAYS DUMPS ME FOR EATING TOO MUCH AT DINNER AND NOT TALKING ENOUGH

socialist?

anyway
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/pole3.jpg

louis really picked the wrong time to leave ilx

oh he would have just given her a note and run away

a note with archaic words

I keep getting stuck talking to her over steak - I assume there's somewhere to click and lead you out of the dining room, but I can't find it.

Me: clicks "say something funny"

A: "how about a kiss"

(only option available is "french kiss her")

I tried. I got dumped on the spot.

What a crap date.

lol @ her nipples getting hard after you complement her

hey wow, she invited her friend alexis over for me : )

how do you respond to her?

she asked me "how are you physically?" and the only response i could find was "caress her chest"

grady knows how to work it

xp ok omar little knows how to work it also

every time i complement her the only subsequent actions are all precursors to rape

I tried cheating using the "backspace" key, but then whenever I clicked on the steak I wound up walking in on her in the bathroom

I hugged her three times in a row and she kept complimenting me and telling me how great I am.

TOTAL fag hag.

ok so the trick is: hug her-> compliment her outfit -> read her a poem -> kiss on the cheek

at least to get to the part where she asks you if you are over 18 or not

we are dancing to soft rock

who the fuck walks in to a girl's house on a first date, picks up a book of poems and starts reading?

dudes who GET some milo

lol @ her nipples getting hard after you complement her

-- J0rdan S., Thursday, 17 January 2008 02:14 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Ha! I never noticed that. I did notice that she has weird-shaped hips.

1 compliment her outfit
2 say something smart
3 kiss her on the cheek

she then asks you if you are over or under 18!

by playing "rock-paper-scissors" (!) I got her to invite me out for a meal. (!??) I complimented her and she said:

"We should hang out downtown, that's where all the cool people are."

UGH, she is a HIPSTER! I packed her in on the spot.

oooh, follow her into the bathroom. Is she into water sports on a blind date?

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/dressed2.jpg

oh no we swam too soon she got a cramp :( :( :(

you have to get right out of the pool after you get in

also, if you play truth or dare, don't dare her to streak in the frnt yeard

front yard, too

how do you escape the Dinner of Death?

drink eat drink eat talk talk eat PIG
eat drink talk eat drink talk TALK TOO MUCH
eat drink talk drink drink LOL DRUNQ

eat once, drink once, pass the salt when she asks, talk once, compliment once, then get in the pool

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/frenchkiss1tub.jpg

HOT TUB BITCHES

this is worse than sudoku

Warik

Reged: 12/09/03
Posts: 2840

This chick is psycho.

We had a glass of wine, a steak dinner, went to a nightclub and had some drinks, came back home, then she said this: "You just got here and you already have to use the bathroom? Maybe you should be more prepared and go before you show up."

Next time I offended her by trying to get into the hot tub.... after she had modeled lingerie for me and told me I had to strip down to go in the pool because she didn't have any swimming trunks for me.

People who buy realdolls in 2015 will probably have to go through something like this tedious process before they get any action.

WTF at that kissy-kissy pic. Does she have a lightbulb inside her mouth or something?

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/fondle1tub.jpg

LOL

total amateur.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/tits.jpg

if she falls asleep you can like date rap her :/ :/ :/

See, I think a naked Marco Polo threesome + making out in the hot tub on the first night should count for more than 7/10.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/2girls.jpg

UUUUUMMM

i took her to the art museum and now they are quizzing me on art!!

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/diningtop1.jpg

Here is Medieval painting. Who painted it? Boticelli or Durer or Da Vinci?

lololol i meant:

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/museumpic7.jpg

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/swimduo10.jpg

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/blowjob.gif

waaaaaaaau

BLOWJOB.GIF

Dating Ariane FAQ

How did you come up with this?

I was involved in the AI Beast game, the first "virtual reality" game, and was thinking of creating something similar (but smaller), but did not have the time. Then I thought of doing a desktop avatar character like this one or this one or this one or this one or this one, only not as erotic and more useful, but did not have the money.

Then I was working on a project for someone else, a web "picture book" with text and pictures where you click next to turn a page, and came up with an idea: How about a web based "choose your own adventure picture book"? Then the little bit I did on the first two projects got merged together into something no where near as ambitious that I did have the time and money to do.

How big is this game?

There are over 580 pictures, and over 800 html pages.

I do not think I have seen that many pictures, have I missed something?

Probably, there are areas of this game no one ever goes to. Here is a list of locations: House (living room, kitchen/dining, bedroom, bathroom) Backyard (Pool, hot tub, stargazing bench, barbecue), Drive (gas/convenience store, cabaret, lookout point, lake, amusement park), Downtown (restaurant, museum, night club, lingerie shop, dress shop, home furnishings store)

Why do some of the pictures look so cheesy?

From the get go, I decided that trying to create great works of art for each picture would be way too time consuming. And unfortunately, anything bigger than 800x500 jpgs would take up way too much web space. So in creating the pictures, "fast" and "cheap" became the mantras.

I have taken shortcuts wherever possible. I could have ray trace renderings, and I have tools for more realistic hair and skin, but decided that if I use them in one picture, I would have to use them in all pictures. The "low rez" look means I can get away with using game screenshots as backgrounds (that and the fact that this is purely a non-commercial enterprise).

What did you use to make the pictures?

The model is Victoria 3 from DAZ 3D, the renderer is Poser 5 from Curious Labs, the apartment is Poser Luxury Apartment I found at Renderosity, also the Hot Tub. Backyard and stores backgrounds are screenshots from Sims 2, and all the street scene backdrops are from Need for Speed Underground 2.

What has changed?

The original concept was to make a maze, with a lot of dead ends. Here is the original script, but don't try and follow it, it is completely wrong now. The "patio bench" make out location has been dropped (silly ending), the spaghetti dinner has been dropped (redundant) and the theater has been dropped (dumb idea).

Version 1 consisted only of the house and backyard. Version 2 added downtown and the restaurant. Version 3 added some locations you'll have to find yourself, but also includes major changes to the story flow. Hard endings have been dropped in some cases to be replaced with story loops. Finally, Version 4 simplified some of the rules of the game, making some parts harder and some parts easier. There are some new scenarios, and some locations that were bugged (home furnishings store) or tacky (the lingerie store) or unrealistic (the whiskey bottle) have radically changed.

Any hints for the new version?

In version 2, I added a tag that disables nudity if you do something wrong. In version 3, I reversed it, so now you have to do something right to enable nudity. In version 4, the biggest rule change is that she will only change clothes twice, this severely limits choices in any particular game, and leads to a faster ending. On the other hand, there are hard endings (getting kicked out) and soft endings (sleeping over) that may show up in similar scenarios depending on previous actions.

Will there be a version 5?

Probably not. I may sneak in a new scenario from time to time, and I will squash bugs as I find them, and may add a new ending here or there. But, for the most part I do not have anything new to add.

Are you back from the Vacation?

Yes, This website became too popular from mid January to mid March. In a span of two months, I had 2,860,785 dates. I have been kissed 1,107,743 times, and have drank 723,600 adult beverages.
I have had 1,727,474 meals. I have taken my top off 336,171 times and my boobs have been fondled 307,394 times. I have gotten naked 211,065 times, 26,516 times in public places, 5,445 with an audience watching. Had sex 63,398 times, been massaged to orgasm 22,776 times, and went down 6,711 times. Only 22,581 slept over night with me in my bed. They are the real special ones, the one in a million guys... or more accurately, the 7893.29 in a million guys.

This ate a lot of bandwidth and slowed down page loads to the point where the game grew unplayable. My strategy for resolving this is to make the game available to download and play offline, while making some changes to the game itself to reduce page requests.

Is the live version the same as the download version?

99% Yes, the differences: 1) no age check, 2) this page isn't on download version

NO SPOILERS PLZ

^^you find that when you "look what's on adriane's laptop"

holy shit @ blowjob.gif

umm how do you get the girls back to he house post-strip club?

lol

http://xs123.xs.to/xs123/08034/adrian415.png

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom1.jpg

I got her too drunk & walked in on her while she was pissing. It works IRL. :(

lol hoos took her down the log ride lol

for real though

er

fr$

i havent been able to get both girls back to the hosue

also every time she invites me to sleep over i am forced to strip and then she throws me to the couch

this is worse than sudoku

-- milo z, Thursday, 17 January 2008 02:30 (3 hours ago) Link

lol

this bitch is crazy

My supersecret rape tactics didn't work.

hump her in the jeep, hump her in the hottub, hump her on the couch, there you go

I haven't located her duct tape yet.

Congratulations, I am impressed. Lets spend the evening together.

That's the end of the game right?

I'm honestly a little disturbed that so many of you were able to play past like the first five turns. No harm, no fowl, but this shit is, uh, how do I say, terrifyingly fucked up.

first turn: what do you do?

1. nothing

2. break through the window of this hot bitch's apartment

second turn: what do you do?

1. grab tits

2. say something about her eyes

3. grab tits

I'm so drunk, I jumped in the pool fully clothed.

And that's my fault? I tried to warn her...

genocide, folks

"You have charm, a good kiss, and great moves, but I`m getting hungry."

Read some more poetry

This is exactly how I reacted aged 17.

You were.....LJ?

Yes, but even less successful with the ladiez.

That one famous LJ post (you know the one)

There's a pic for that exact scenario!

(ok, maybe there isn't)

I know thoreau is a reductionist simpleton in 2008 but seriously what in the fingersplit asshole of satan hath we wrought upon ourselves

bad enough pash (who *jaymc* owns like maybe two pages of porn) went and played this and STILL I had to be the guy that marks this thread for what is is and even then it continues to get WORSE and WORSE why the FUCK do the internet keep making me have to feel like some kind of republickan this shit is RONG 7000 allah HELP ME

imagine that last post said all in one breath with a big hopeless sad gasp at the end

you're doomed
we're all doomed

tombot mad at tig ol bitties

tombot not getting further than Are You Over 18?

your responses are even more frightening than the simulacra themselves

YOU'VE GOTTA TELL THEM! SOYLENT GREEN IS PERVERTS!

WHAT U BEDTIME?

Dude, get one sense of humor.

(directed at Tombot, not Ed)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2388/2198734599_6382621995.jpg

http://www.linternaute.com/sortir/cinema/diaporama/06/blondes-fatales/kristanna-loken.jpg

"Come on Tombot"

"what are you frightened of"

Your search - "tools of our own machines" - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

* Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
* Try different keywords.
* Try more general keywords.

"my name is legion for I am many" - ring a bell to you ghouls? Did you think the devil would come with horns a'glowering? It'll take more than internet jerkwaderry to bring the Tombot down. You'll have to come and find me. I'll be waiting. Garlic's in the fridge. Sons of jackals, yeah, you'd like to believe. I know better. Bring it, you sad passel of machine imps

*stuffs old t-shirt into handle of rum*

mikey stop posting as tombot

BLAMMO

"my name is legion for I am many"
http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/deck03/images/legion.jpg

Rain falls, I fix my eyes
Let go of the focus and I blur out all the lines
Just to remember, remember

Crying 'cause it's not my fault
Water through my lashes look just like Christmas lights
And I still remember, remember

Cold and shivering
Cold and shivering
Cold and shivering warm

Sing please, rock me to sleep
Quiet as a canyon up under heaven's eaves
I surrender, surrender

Downstairs the furnace swells
Safe from all the horrors in your stinging velvet arms
And I surrender, surrender

Cold and shivering
Cold and shivering
Cold and shivering warm

We have the image meme of the year already.

the hottest was the naked neck dance in her living room to 'soft rock' btw

all of you are fucking victims of a machine

Naked waterskiing ftw

what the fuck is this shit

Why the hell does your character's cock look like a n3rf missile?
NSFW

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/hottub.gif
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/lrsex.gif
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/carsex2.gif

That sofa looks like it's going to snap in half...

roffle @ grumpy tombot (though he is OTM as well). I was loaded last night! (again) sorry I shoud have marked this NSFW then, but was to busy lolling at it all to take it that seriously.

OMG@ "blowjob.gif", also There are over 580 pictures, and over 800 html pages. it must have taken the dude months. I was hoping it would pull a bait-and-switch and as soon as you were going to get somewhere, the girl would turn into something super-grim like a hyper-endowed hermaphrodite furry. FOR THE LULZ.

Yeah he is otm but then he didn't get to...

Ung Ung Ung Ung... uhuhuhuhuh... AHH AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

followed by...

We really did not do a lot of sleeping did we?
On a scale of 1 to 10, you get a 10.

Now to try my hot moves out on Mrs Trifle.

haha, God. The people who coded daz3d and poser should be imprisoned, I think.

I admit this is a sadly addictive game in many respects, but interesting sociologically (i.e. a male designer makes a game for a male audience where "thinking like a woman" is a successful strategy, "this is as frustrating as real life", etc etc). My experience of the game doesn't mirror my personal dating experience very closely, but then again I've genuinely been interested in the women I've dated and have never treated a date as an experiment in "how far I could get" .

Having said that, simulations such as this one may have a use that non-interactive porn lacks in terms of people exploring their thoughts about sexual behavior. For instance, I reached the scene in the club where Ariane masturbates on stage and discovered that I was turned on, not by the images but by the idea of dating a woman with an exhibitionist streak. It's cheesy, but "regular" porn wouldn't do that for me.

give her a hug
"that was nice, are you the physical type?"
kive her a kiss
"that was nice"
read her a poem:
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b379/Vietgrove/su.png

:(

yeah i've heard that before

gr8080 banged in the car outside a convenience store? You dawg!

is that why it's called the quicky mart? robble robble

tombot's deep disgust is as classic as everything else on this thread.

gr8080 has just figured out how to access the scenes without completing the mission.

now, see, that's rape

jesus grady

only way this could be better would be to make ariane a cougar

"completing the mission"

"this message will self-destruct."

I spent way too long playing this last night. I REALLY want to know what series of choices leads to sex in the convenience store parking lot.

I want to get to the art quiz, perversely enough.

Tombot deeply otm here. Just knowing this exists gives my soul a toothache.

I spent way too long playing this last night. I REALLY want to know what series of choices leads to sex in the convenience store parking lot.

-- Johnny Fever, Thursday, January 17, 2008 12:18 PM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I REALLY want to know what series of choices leads to sex in the convenience store parking lot.

Offer her 20$ to buy beer naked.

I REALLY have to stop playing this game.

I REALLY want to know what series of choices leads to sex in the convenience store parking lot.

comme Ça:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/dfghjkl.jpg

he's wearing my shirt again in that pic, btw. Do shirt buddies get seconds?

lopsided nips are freaking me out

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/6021/nipsgb7.jpg

Everything about this picture freaks me out...
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/photo3.jpg

I admit this is a sadly addictive game in many respects, but interesting sociologically (i.e. a male designer makes a game for a male audience where "thinking like a woman" is a successful strategy, "this is as frustrating as real life", etc etc).

Haha, I think this might hold some water if a) any real life women went "hey how's about a kiss" within 30 seconds of meeting a guy and b) the options in the game weren't 'buy her a drink/go and slow dance/bend her over and try and fuck her in front of everyone in the room'.

I tried to bust out some tried-n-sleazy NLP traicks on her, but she's too dumb to respond to them. :(

tricks

Oh, I haven't made it up to lovers lane or whatever to look at the city yet. I guess I'll have to keep playing...dammit!

bitches be difficult amirite?

There's no option to tell her you're the richest motherfucker on ILX! 'Cause then I think her pants would literally VANISH NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.

i feel privileged to be watching a classic thread in the making; one that foil-suited internet archaeologists of the year 2525 will dig up and go "WHAT THE FUCK?" at.

i tried playing it but it freaks me out waaaay too much.

You couldn't get past the steak meal either?

dude, i gave up in the fuckin' living room. brrr.

I can't keep playing this game bcz it is SO TEDIOUS to stop over.

oops I mean start over.

http://www.nypl.org/branch/features/images/freud.jpg

You know i've seen plenty of screengrabs and reviews of japanese romance sims where the aim of the game is to rape sisters of descending ages or convince schoolgirls to shit on their crying mothers but somehow this game is creepier than all of those.

Maybe it's because her face and posture imply mild downs?

amirite?

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/6021/nipsgb7.jpg
http://www.jaapa.com/issues/j20050401/screen/downs0405_img_0.gif

Whatever it is I've had it. Twice.

I wonder which designer's girlfriend she resembles.

got her to show her stuff off for the camera up on makeout point. that was weird

Finally, your skills at point-and-click computer games can get you some action.

guys im about to go pickup ariane for our daet!!!

this time just have a salad

This sounds like some weird ass Sims thing (the bespoke choices etc).

Why is everyone assuming this was made by a man? According to the website, it was made by a 38 year old female from Arizona. Am I not being meta enough?

"Dude, you are not supposed to drink. You are my ride home. Now I got to call a cab. On a scale of 1 to 10 you get a 5."

;_x?

let's both call a cab, go back to your place, totally forever stain your prissy-ass white couch, and see how that affects my rating.

This is an actual tack you can take in the game! But you lose when Gear walks in and posts all about it to his internet buddies.

fucking whore

No, a whore would not care how much you drank.

lol dudes i got laid

yes, but in front of the convenience store? I think that has to be the ultimate prize now.

Nutz deep in the uncanny valley to be sure

U guise where the FUCK is the Sea of Tranquility

still haven't figured this game out

yes, but in front of the convenience store? I think that has to be the ultimate prize now.

-- kenan, Thursday, January 17, 2008 11:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

mission accomplished

you are a god among really bored men.

I just spent the last hour trying to have sex with Ariane. Jesus Christ.

But I have finally succeeded! My only question now is what would've happened if I asked to stay the night instead of leaving afterwards. I mean, I thought I was only being polite.

Did I mention my girlfriend's been out of town since Saturday?

i recently lost my job

All my classes this semester are at night, so I've been staying up late.

Is there a mirror anywhere in the game? I want to know if our character is wearing a trucker hat.

ok so ive hooked up while 'staying the night,' in the hot tub, in front of the convenience store and in that makeout point area w/ all the nudey photos but cant figure out the threesome, getting to hang out @ the strip club w/out her leaving, or getting her to waterski naked

do you think its better if i rock that dude in the jaw at the club, or just protect ariane?

your next mission: both of these shiny, shiny ladies at the same time.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/swimduo10.jpg

They really are quite shiny, aren't they?

do you think its better if i rock that dude in the jaw at the club, or just protect ariane?

-- deej, Friday, January 18, 2008 2:13 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

neither

you get kicked out of the club either way

the only way to get on the dance floor w/o her getting raped is to go to the lingerie store first and pick up the clerk and bring them both to the club and watch them dance (and then bring them home)

ok so ive hooked up while 'staying the night,' in the hot tub, in front of the convenience store and in that makeout point area w/ all the nudey photos but cant figure out the threesome, getting to hang out @ the strip club w/out her leaving, or getting her to waterski naked

-- deej, Friday, January 18, 2008 2:13 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

how do you do any of these??? anytime i get asked to stay the night i'm forced to strip and then kicked to the couch. connivence store only leads to us buying liquor and her passing out. i've taken her to the makeout point and then she wants to go home.

(pointers to only one would be cool, i'll figure the other ones out)

and there is no three-way.

the other girl goes home and your night continues, or ariane gets prudish and your night ends.

that's too bad, because i much prefer the blonde. She's a lot less downs-y. Perhaps ariane in her wisdom senses this and puts the kaibash on it.

I don't get the shiny. Why so shiny? Is the program sophisticated enough to render fairly realistic curves and body shapes, but not sophisticated enough to turn off the Turtle Wax? I don't know how these programs work. Maybe I'm just a big dummy.

Cause they just came out of the pool, obv.

Excuse me while I go vomit.

You can go to the strip club and get her to dance if you go with rebecca. But first, you should get kicked out of the club (protect A.) and then go to the lingerie store. This leaves no other option but Rebecca's "surprise." To win the amateur night competition is kind of elaborate, but sensible enough. Once she wins...naked hot tub (without the friend).

ok i've got naked hot tub but then she says "i'm ok for naked hot tub but not naked fondling"....

drink more?

"i think i've drank too much. i need to lie down"

(i thought that would work cuz usually post-drink she says "go down further" or w/e)

They were bathing in a pool of melted clear plastic.

sarges be mackin

jordan sargent u should post as 'sarges' to avoid confusion w/ jordan #1

http://arianeb.com/comics/comic1.jpg

anyway the trick to hot tub sex is to play truth or dare in the hot tub

http://arianeb.com/comics/comic3.jpg

http://arianeb.com/comics/comic5.jpg

sarges be mackin

-- deej, Friday, January 18, 2008 2:52 AM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

i always knew art history classes would come in helpful

http://arianeb.com/comics/comic2.jpg

http://arianeb.com/comics/comic2.jpg

lol ariane otm
http://arianeb.com/comics/comic8.jpg

WTfuckingF

U GUYS SHE HAS A MYSPACE:

http://www.myspace.com/arianeb

anyway the trick to hot tub sex is to play truth or dare in the hot tub

they had this plan on "Undeclared" iirc

"Cyberspace Wench"

Female
38 years old

who was it said they wished she was a cougar?

Wow, it didn't take you long to really do an incredible job with your profile girly! You're so freakin smart! 'smacks gbcue, you took my spot :P It's been really great getting to know you Ari, I admire your analytical mind and you have fun games, I will score with you yet dangit!

^^this is from "chantal" btw

monkeyfritters
01-29-2007, 12:57 AM
i caught my first virtual std from ariane.... carpal tunnel syndrome.

I got her pants off, then: Hey this was fun, but I am losing the mood. There is more to me than just my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, you get a 8.

xpost not nearly as ST as other Ds.

NERDCORE.JPG
http://arianeb.com/images/nerdcore.jpg

anyway the trick to hot tub sex is to play truth or dare in the hot tub

Untrue! I played this twice, with the following results:

(1) Drank too much wine and she passed out

(2) Quickly got her in the hot tub and made out a bunch. Three options: drink wine, make out again, or play truth or dare. I'm bored with making out and I don't want to ply her with too much wine again, so I go with truth or dare. She says: "Romance is in the air and all you want to do is play games?" And apparently that is a date-killer.

Because you know how it is on first dates, when girls are like "look, if you don't want to do me right this second, you need to get the hell out of my house"

guys i can't beat this game

probably cuz i cant find the "would you like to listen to the plies version of snoop dogg and akon's smash single 'i wanna fuck you'?" option

michael jackson???
http://arianeb.com/images/ariane26.jpg

yeah hot tub truth or dar led to me touching her "breasts" (pretty lol that they use "breasts" but also "pussy") and then her saying "what happened to foreplay?"

See, long long time ago (fifteen years at least), I remember in Loaded magazine a review of a "date Jo Guest" game which sounded very similar to some of these scenarios.

probably cuz i cant find the "would you like to listen to the plies version of snoop dogg and akon's smash single 'i wanna fuck you'?" option

LOL i was looking for futuresex lovesound

before you go for the puss, you have to rub her shoulders, back and butt first. also if you click directly on the nips you can lick them.

you can do this jordan, i know you can!

;_;

gr8080 is this game's Hitch

also maybe leave her a cute myspace comment before you reload the game again?? couldnt hurt.

ARIANE NATION

I am addicted to this and I hate myself, in the same way I hate myself when I come home at 1am and eat nothing but a huge bag of crisps washed down with beer.

This may be something to do with the fact that I got the two girls in the pool on my first go and haven't successfully progressed beyond this in 25 subsequent attempts.

Also I would never date such a lightweight.

sadly otm

I AM SO TIRED OF THE FIRST 10 OR 15 MOVES IN THIS GAME. CAN WE JUST START IN THE BACK YARD ALREADY?!

otm

Also I would never date such a lightweight.

-- Matt DC, Friday, January 18, 2008 3:21 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

sadly otm

-- gr8080, Friday, January 18, 2008 3:22 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

QFfuckingT

figuring out the stripper routine is annoying

sexy dance/chair dance/take off skirt/pole dance/take off top/pole dance/rub body

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/goodbye.jpg
Thank you for your honesty, but it is my policy not to date teenagers. I'm a little too old for you.
Glad to have met you, thanks for stopping by.

she's still nipping while she says that, though

she's also really bad at math, if you're 18 or 19

Adriane (ft. [ban me] & Paul Wall)- Still Nippin'

I HAVE SUCKED THE NIPS

I kind of want to go in there while she's not home and redecorate her house. Is this 1981?

how?!!!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO ME IN THE HOT TUP POST DARING HER TO MAKE OUT:

kiss->make out'>massage->"fondle breasts"->take off top->"hey i'm not into nude fondling"

WTF

am i not scrolling over the right thing?

makeout > take off shirt > rub tittays > suck the nips

it is kind of funny how you've been at this 24 hours and still cant score.

xpost

What's the pic for nip sucking? It's got to be awful.

bcuz even after we go skinny dipping w/ other chick we go into the hot tub alone and she has her top back on >_<

hm ok

my problem is that i'm really impatient

it is kind of funny how you've been at this 24 hours and still cant score.

-- gr8080, Friday, January 18, 2008 3:46 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

i've gathered this

The best I've done so far is sex twice (with the lights off), a sloshed-on-liquor nude feel up on her table right before she passes out and a game of Marco Polo in the pool with Ariane and her friend (once nude, twice splitting the bikini).

I think I went something like kiss > wine > french kiss > shoulders > tits > wine > take off shirt > french kiss > tits > suck the nips > back > take off pants > tits > fail

This was on the couch, btw.

"i'm not into nude fondling"

lolz, like it's this whole other scene. "I've heard of people doing that, saw it on Real Sex on HBO. I won't judge, but I'm not into it."

oh wait, it started with hair and there was another hair in there somewhere

hotub > wine > kiss > truth or dare > do her dare > she does her truth > dare her to take off her top > do her dare > dare her to take off her bottoms > do her dare > kiss > rub shoulders > grab tits > lick nips > rub back > rub butt > rub thighs > rub puss >
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/hottub.gif

lolllllllll @ gr80 explaining birds & bees to jordan sargent

THINGS I AM REALLY GOOD AT:

-making her pass out
-feeding her steak
-taking pictures of her overlooking the city
-not fondling her bare breasts

fuck this game

i need more cougar experience

No offence, but I hope for your sakes none of you meet any hot girls this weekend.

ok problem was that i've dared her to make out (leads to nothing) and to "play with her pussy" (no)

I want some option where you click on her boobs and "smooth gradients"

i think jordans problem is that he has no game

-taking pictures of her overlooking the city

I have not done this.

I took pictures of her posing in a fountain once, but now I can't remember at all how I got there.

-taking pictures of her overlooking the city

You're really close to getting blown or doing the dirty right there.

HI DERE
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/pet3.jpg
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/hottub.gif

now i will go for gas station bang

i took pictures of her overlooking the city, then posing topless, then posing naked, then posing on top of the car, then giving me a bj

then we went back and she was jealous that i got off and she didn't, so she ... asked me to go home???

HI DERE
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/pet3.jpg
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/hottub.gif

-- J0rdan S., Friday, January 18, 2008 4:00 AM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

when she catches the cliffs notes gr80 gave you written on yr hand costanza-style yr in trouble

i think we all need a boys night out together.

time to take a break from ariane.

xpost wtg sargent

i took pictures of her overlooking the city, then posing topless, then posing naked, then posing on top of the car, then giving me a bj

then we went back and she was jealous that i got off and she didn't, so she ... asked me to go home???

-- deej, Friday, January 18, 2008 4:00 AM (28 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

mine went pics->pics->sexy pose->sexier pose->let's go home

The worst effect this game has, I am finding, is that when you go from this to other internet porn, even though that allegedly consists of real photographs of actual women that verifiably exist, all the girls still look plastic and gross and I can't take them seriously as objects of lust. Maybe there's a tiny bit of justice in that, somehow. :(

no kenan u just creepy

oh, on this thread? It's me?

its too late for you to play El Tomboto in this thread now

I took pictures of her posing in a fountain once, but now I can't remember at all how I got there.

-- Johnny Fever, Friday, January 18, 2008 3:59 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

spin the bottle over desert. nothing comes of this

J0rdan's gotten further along than I have now. I R MAD

no one has pointed this out yet.. COMIC SANS.

Oh yeah, that's right...it's the only time I have seen spin the bottle.

http://www.cineol.net/images/noticias/Cameos/Waterboy_2.jpg

ok, this is EXACTLY what I remember sex in a car being like

http://fluxion23.com/images/carsex.gif

but i think just because of where i was looking, not anything about the actual lighting.

apparently naked water skiing is "too much work"

still havent figured out how to get her naked @ the statue or how to get her to water ski but im moving on, this chick is kind of lame anyway

I managed both. I am not proud of this.

its too late for you to play El Tomboto in this thread now

yeah, except that I know my girlfriend has read and will continue to read this thread. What I said was true! But maybe I should not admit I'm trying to look at other naked women at all... yeah, ok, that post was a bad idea from every angle. Ill-conceived. Full retraction.

tila tequilla got a reality show out of this type of fame

rev big pimpin

Is it just me or is the amusement park an automatic game over?

yes

you must take her on the log ride then she gets wet and kicks you out of her house

are going to the other place downtown that aren't lingerie/club worth anything?

how to avoid "Whoa, check out that girl's titties!"???

Is it being a killjoy to delete the spoiler?

Xpost - just received a text from someone who will remain nameless going 'Ariane loves you! You're going to have cyber-babies!'

Yes!

Only because that's only one way to.

It gives at least a pointer to work out how to use it.

Damn!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/radio.jpg

Nice work Ken

The Chuckle Brothers = threadkillers

I've had much more luck by not even leaving the house. Dance, dinner, dance, wine, swim, sex.

The Chuckle Brothers finally score:
http://www.barracoodas.co.uk/images/PicB043.jpg
"To me, to you"
"Oh dear, oh dear"

"A green poster in a red room, are you CRAZY?! Pink and purple?!?"

This game is retarded.

uh well duh

In every dream home a heartache... And every step I take...
Takes me further from heaven... Is there a heaven?
I`d like to think so.
Standards of living... They're rising daily...
But home oh sweet home... It's only a saying.
From bell push to faucet... In smart town apartment...
The cottage is pretty... The main house a palace...
Penthouse perfection.
But what goes on... What to do there?
Better pray there.
Open plan living... Bungalow ranch style...
All of its comforts... Seem so essential.
I bought you mail order... My plain wrapper baby...
Your skin is like vinyl... The perfect companion.
You float my new pool... De luxe and delightful.
Inflatable doll... My role is to serve you.
Disposable darling... Can't throw you away now.
Immortal and life size... My breath is inside you.
I'll dress you up daily... And keep you till death sighs.
Inflatable doll... Lover ungrateful...
I blew up your body...
But you blew my mind

U guise where the FUCK is the Sea of Tranquility

It is a crater on the moon.

This thread is revolting.

amazing, I do just as bad on this game as in real life...its as if it knows I'm playing....

You got kicked out of the club by the flamboyant bouncer?

she wouldn't let me get acquainted with her breasteses...

altho I did get to skinny dip with her and her anorexic friend....

breasteses...

are you the kind of guy who says this in real life?

actually no. That probably marks the second time I've used the phrase in my life.

.......

I've decided I don't care anymore.

When you're in love with a beautiful woman, it's hard...
http://virtualunderworld.net/arianeb/dateariane/images/photopenis1.jpg

In what sort of bizarre universe do you

-Take a girl to an art museum
-Take her dancing
-Wind up dancing with her AND another hot woman
-Go home with both of them
-Go nude skinny dipping
-Wind up naked in a hot tub drunk fondling breasts

and STILL not get laid???

dude that is me age 19-21

ha i know right???

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom1.jpg

This is way too awkward! Some gentleman you turned out to be.

LOL!!!

She doesn't have any mirrors! RUN AWAY!

lol
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/photo16.jpg

success
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/pic71x3.htm#
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/carsex.gif

We really did not do a lot of sleeping did we?
On a scale of 1 to 10, you get a 10.

ok so wait. are you guys actually jerking it to this or is it just that the game is really engrossing? or both

im not gonna speak for anyone else but the game is funny, not partic. sexy

Yeah, it's not particularly sexy in any way. If anything, it's frustrating. And that's why I've never really played games with any regularity since I owned an Atari as a kid.

wait a minute, Atari got you hard?

Johnny Fever, Patient Zero

No, Atari was easy so I enjoyed it. The games and game systems that followed were more difficult and I lost any interest in sitting around for hours at a time trying to beat them. The only reason I've played this one is because it's free and I've got insomnia.

....

Insomnia of the COCK.

What deej said

If my main concern was getting off, I'd just click over to Xtube.

jk

Somehow I never seem to get through dinner without getting her mad

just click different things

or just alternate what you click rather

Don't click anything more than once during dinner.

One compliment, one sip of wine, one talk and one eat.

click her wine glass
click her plate
click her wine glass
click her face to talk to her
click her chest to compliment her
click anywhere to go somewhere else

U CAN DO IT JON

we're rootin 4 u buddy

WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

<i>we're rootin 4 u buddy</i>

There's your problem, it's not a multiuser game.

you should all be blown to smithereens

i can't believe ive wasted more than an hour on this game...
this thread is much more fun from the game itself..

"blown"

click anywhere to go somewhere else

^ aha!

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/reb6a.jpg

Is Ariane going celebrity style? I'm sure the caption would tell me, but it says Service Temporarily Unavailable as usual.

I've been playing this one game for ages. I was about to score, but fucked it up and tried to refresh. It took me back a bit, but things turned out slightly different. Now it's glitchy as fuck, but I'm still going. We've been out to dinner three times.

Oh, now I post it I can see she clearly is. The bottom's cropped off in the game.

Yeah, I wanted to fuck Ariane too, just like everybody...

Awright, I brought her to the lookout point, where we took erotic pictures of each other and headed back to the jeep for some passionate necking -- but as soon as she took her shirt off, some asshole came along and yelled, "Nice tits!" I thought I smelled a threesome coming, but Ariane (the prude!) shooed me back into the driver's seat and forced me to take her home. How humiliating!

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom1.jpg
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom4.jpg
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom5.jpg

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom6.jpg
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom7.jpg

So no matter what state of undress she's in, she's not at all into you seeing her pee.

(note that her boobs are inexplicably fuller and perkier in the 2nd nude bathroom shot)

Her hair must be pulled back really tight.

ah

this thread is much more fun from the game itself..

Unarguably!

It's rare but once I did follow her into the bathroom without getting "Some gentleman you turned out to be".

WHAT HAPPENS

It's only one screen and you don't see her peeing. I can't remember but she comes out naked so its probably after the strip club.

It keeps only giving me one option. Pfft. Plus one minute she was fully clothed and then in the next picture she was naked for no apparent reason but saying she should put her clothes back on.

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/pic4.jpg reminds me of http://www.wildpixels.com/bunchies/Images/bunchies_clear1.gif, which is fairly unerotic, but not quite as unerotic as this game.

this chick drinks too much and her friends are sluts

This is probably the first video game that is more difficult and frustrating than whatever it's simulating. Either that or real life counterterrorism is way easier than I've always assumed.

Sometimes she tries to get you to keep kissing her or have more wine, but don't follow her suggestions all the time.

If you do she will either drink too much or lose interest.

Aw yeah, I totally just boned her. Didn't get any of that animation though - I think we did it in the dark.

Ariane is much nicer than real girls. They never rate me higher than a 5.

I am kind of amazed imagining this Poser software, I mean I knew you could get them naked and drag their limbs around, but some properties screen where you set the nipple pointiness?

Good grief it is nearly 4am and I'm staring at this shit. Thank god it just froze and wouldn't let me click on any links to remind me to go to bed.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/194/storefront9ddh0.jpg

Product placement!?

This program crashes like an unwelcome former flatmate. I can't get far, and it's not my technique.

She gave it up for me in the hottub, but only after some strategic coercing. I recommend pacing the drinks and answering questions boldly. I haven't felt this guilty about playing a game since GTA: San Andreas.

I noticed if you click back in your browser, sometimes it allows you to make new/better choices. I totally fucked her outside the convenience store :)

did she give you a waffles invite after?

Are none of you noobs actually aware of AIF then?

j0rdan dont be a dick

Oh, I see most of you already figured that out.

xpost

Yes J0rdan. Don't.

No matter how many glasses of merlot I ply this chick with, she will simply not stop being a prude at the strip club. I mean, it's the 90s already, give me a break!

nice we did it in front of the convenience store

this chick is still a lightweight, is there anyway to get her to do it on the table without getting so drunk she passes out?

"well, you got to see and play with my boobs but that's enough."

^^^
if i had a nickel

^^^ You'd go to a peepshow instead?

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8314818026

she is a bitch .she keeps leading me on!!

Everytime i get somewhere the page wont load.

yea reminds me of the time I was on a date with this chick and I tried to unhook her bra and when it slid off instead of her boobs there was a "404 Internal ERror" instead

………………..,-~*'`¯lllllll`*~,
…………..,-~*`lllllllllllllllllllllllllll¯`*-,
………,-~*llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll*-,
……,-*llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.\
….;*`lllllllllllllllllllllllllll,-~*~-,llllllllllllllllllll\
…..\lllllllllllllllllllllllllll/………\;;;;llllllllllll,-`~-,
…...\lllllllllllllllllllll,-*………..`~-~-,…(.(¯`*,`,
…….\llllllllllll,-~*…………………)_-\..*`*;..)
……..\,-*`¯,*`)…………,-~*`~.………….../
……...|/.../…/~,…...-~*,-~*`;……………./.\
……../.../…/…/..,-,..*~,.`*~*…………….*...\
…….|.../…/…/.*`...\...……………………)….)¯`~,
…….|./…/…./…….)……,.)`*~-,……….../….|..)…`~-,
……/./.../…,*`-,…..`-,…*`….,---…...\…./…../..|……...¯```*~-
…...(……….)`*~-,….`*`.,-~*.,-*……|…/.…/…/…………\
…….*-,…….`*-,...`~,..``.,,,-*……….|.,*...,*…|…...\
……….*,………`-,…)-,…………..,-*`...,-*….(`-,………

http://img239.imageshack.us/img239/8831/arianerebeccaij4.png

after rebecca left things fell apart. oy.

i think BJO is mixing up his experiences a bit, surely it was these

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/httpanties-addl-white.jpg

Am i the only one who's had "Carrie-Anne" by the Hollies stuck in my head ever since this thread apppeared?

Hey Ariane
What's your game now,
Can anybody play

Also Noodle, what the heck has the Association of Interchurch Families got to do with getting into these pixels' pants?

I have "When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman" by Dr Hook stuck in my head - the lyrics really fit the game. (xpost)

xpost

http://aifgames.com/

The Internet - Proudly Supporting Lonely Nerds Since 1991

there was some proto-collegehumor.com website i went to in 99-00 that had a series of games where you guided an ex-frat guy through various club-hopping adventures in the hopes of getting laid.

does anyone else remember this?

FINALLY she puts out. Now at last I can pay attention to my real girlfriend.

"WHY are you reading poetry? WHY are you playing smooth jazz?"

"Why are you building a Hot Tub?"

"well er.. darling, let me ask you. Have you had sex in a hottub before?"

"Oh OK... Can I look at you through the front window again, and take it from there?"

"No problem. You can just wear the bikini bottom and your friend can wear the top."

she finally let me fuck her! lights out, though :(

Yeah, I just scored a 10 too.

http://www.kuroneko-chan.com/echoes/images/au_erin.jpg

weren't we supposed to have virtual reality fuckin' by now?

I lack the patience for this game. Maybe that's why I had such a hard time getting laid when I was single.

lack of patience won't keep you from getting laid, you just have to hit on girls who are way beneath you.

patience is a virgin.

But this game is way harder than real life!

ferreal, real-life dumb girls don't make you do puzzles over and over again until you find the right combination. Not by a long shot.

That would be kind of rad if they did! "To get to base 3 you have to complete levels 1-15 of Adventures of Lolo."

patience is a virgin.

-- kenan, Thursday, January 24, 2008 5:00 AM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i thought she was a stripper

That would be kind of rad if they did! "To get to base 3 you have to complete levels 1-15 of Adventures of Lolo."

-- Abbott, Thursday, January 24, 2008 12:25 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Who'da thunk being good at Bubble Bobble could earn me a fingerbang?

fuck that noize, Bubble Bobble is a platformer.

wel i wuld buy dig dug if i culd afford it :(((((((

Humanity would takes an interesting evolutionary turn.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventures_of_Lolo

I always wondered why the local Minesweeper champion seemed to get his fair share of poon....

lack of patience won't keep you from getting laid, you just have to hit on girls who are way beneath you.

-- kenan, Thursday, January 24, 2008 5:00 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

annoyingly, this is otm

it's annoying even while you do it.

bitches who be beneath you just rnt worth the trouble.

and yet you gotta crush it sometimes.

Can't you see: this is a LAND of CONFUSION?

lol haetfuk

ATTENTION PEOPLE WITH COCKS WHO AINT GAY
LIFE IS A TRIAL

ME OTM*

*SEE DARWIN

or kafka

there is no way fucking ariane could not be hatefuck after all she puts you through to finally get there!

"To get to base 3 you have to complete levels 1-15 of Adventures of Lolo."

This is exactly what happens in some Arab countries, where a woman's virtue is guarded to her detriment and the latest game system available is the NES. It's tragic, we should invade.

I can't work out how I managed to get to the naked waterskiing scene that one time.

Ung Ung Ung Ung... uhuhuhuhuh... AHH AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

this game was so addictive for like, 72 hrs and since then i havent had the inclination to play it once.

Same here. I even deleted my bookmark.

Yeah. It's way over between us.

well THANK FUCKING CHRIST FOR THAT.

everybody else keep slapping that chimp around on your own time just don't make it none of my business or anybody else's

you need to tell somebody else about it tell your mother

back by popular demand

You know it! People power! Yah!

freaks

tombot was e-cockblockin

less locking, more cocking

why did they give her such an unattractive face?

less locking, more cocking

A slogan we can all get behind.

this game was so addictive for like, 72 hrs and since then i havent had the inclination to play it once.

just like dating in real life.

since tombot went nuts, i've decided i'm back on

yeah i'll play it later too then

since tombot went nuts, i've decided i'm back on

ariane = surrogate tombot

bans people for no reason, heavy drinker

likes to remove clothes

ariane is basically tombot merged with andrew nf

national front?

"but the laundry attendant is such a prude..."

Everyone gave up then?

Hard to maintain interest once you've seen her naked.

Yes, I lost interest once I'd scored. Also, she hasn't accepted my Myspace friendship offer.

To be fair, her facebook status is "it's complicated"

I was going to write a script to parse the HTML files and figure out the sequence of actions that triggered each animation, but now I can't be bothered. That's how much this game turns me off, I can't even be bothered to cheat at it!

HORRIFYING

welcome back

"destined to be a classic"

Visiting the website (version 5.0 now) is like running into an ex you've forgotten about, but suddenly you realise that you never liked her anyway...

NYU Student Invents Virtual Girlfriend

how long has Burrows been single?

"Long enough to come up with this idea," he sighed.

from the same era the orgasm girl game:

http://www.thecureforboredom.com/index.php?params=game/511/Orgasm-Girl/

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese man was arrested for calling a food company's toll-free number 500 times in 16 months because he wanted to hear the woman's voice on the automated tape, police said on Monday.

The 38-year-old plumber, who was arrested on Sunday, made 3,100 hours worth of free calls to the company, costing it almost 4 million yen ($38,730) in phone bills, a police spokesman in Takasaki, northwest of Tokyo, said.

"He gets excited by the woman's voice on the guidance tape," the spokesman said, adding that the voice sounded normal to the detective who was involved in the investigation.

The food company asked for its name to be withheld. The spokesman said police are investigating if the man placed an excessive number of calls to any other firms.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080526/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_japan_phone

dude really needs to buy a tape recorder for his phone. that way he can be a perv in peace.
m.

3100 hours over 500 calls in 16 months is more than one a day, at over 6 hours per call. When did dude have time to plumb?

3100 hours over 500 calls in 16 months is more than one a day, at over 6 hours per call. When did dude have time to plumb?

-- Kerm, Thursday, 29 May 2008 04:19 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link
we now live in the future
see...
http://www.kk.org/streetuse/handsfree.jpg

I got to the point where I was chopping her body up with a shovel. And then she kicked me out of her apartment.

why is this thread still alive

ok well im super drunk right now after playing bass in an awesome metal show and i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed so ill say this:

fuck tom and his nu style of banning whatever he wants whenever he wants (sans admin log)

hey.. if i was a dude in his 30's, post failed marriage from an ilx chick, in a dead end job that never got laid, and had barely any irl friends i would love anonymously modding ilx too...

basically: this is the only thing dude has control of in his life.

even when he gets drunk he spends his time modding ilx. kinda sad.
fine.

you can say 6000 registered ilxors were good today but one of them that was actually totally cool, brought the lols and was a solid dude got banned for no reason was enough for me to say "fuck this shit"

tom millar obviously loves the "this is the thread where i say"
style of pussy ass bullshit posts that make ilx terrible. just see idiot thread board for that bullshit. its basically the same 4 ilxors talking about their bullshit lives that no one asked about plus tom telling us how wasted he is.

its like an episode of sex in the city with tom and ned adding in there 2 cents once in a while. wow what bunch of lols.

im not one to make a big post about leaving but fuck this shit. for reals. im leaving for gershy who is a real bro and "GOD FORBID!!!!" bumped threads that already existed....

this board is now just a bunch of rich college kids and dumb fat bitches (lets get real.... even the actual rock stars that post here are academic morons.) that wanna talk about the politics of messenger bags and facebook profiles. obviously tom wanted this. you can tell by his "dudes im totally wasted!" posts all over the dumb ass molify lingbert thread. so hay! you got what you wanted, tom!

i hope your life of never getting laid by anyone other than ally and being stuck in a dead end job is finally giving you what you wanted in life. everyone hates you btw. but hey as long as you rule who gives a fuck right?

i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed

RIP Big Man

so who shagged ariane?

and who just downloaded the .zip and peeped the blowjob gifs?

you dog you

There's a new version out where you get to play basketball...

Is that slang for a threeway with her friend?

boner-isms

a new version?

Thank you for your kind words.

I can't go through this again. That damn woman almost made me lose my mind last time. Cheat notes please.

The author should add a mini game where you use her computer, and play a dating simulator inside the Ariane dating simulator.

man this girl that i work with, i knew that she looked like somebody

now i realize its ARIANE

this game is so brilliant. Ariane is seriously the weirdest notion of what women are like!

xp your coworker has downs?

well

We can have sex, I think you earned it.

lolololololololololololololololololololol

Hah, I love how some guy just rips out her boob at the nightclub.

http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo305/lejospopo/silliness.jpg

http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo305/lejospopo/porno.jpg

I thought for a second that those icons on the left were some new part of the game, until I realised that you're using a Mac.

I also mis-read "The Unarchiver" as "The Underachiever"

seems the same version to me?

xpost SAME HERE

Maybe you would like to be alone with your porn tonight.

Underachiever: "B... But... I thought we could be Porn Buddies!"

http://a3.vox.com/6a00d414298a4e3c7f00e398df9f5b0004-320pi

Congratulations, I am impressed. Lets spend the evening together.

I`m feeling comfortable enough, I do not really need a shirt anymore.

Punch the guy at the club, take her home and get her drunk on the couch.

there was some proto-collegehumor.com website i went to in 99-00 that had a series of games where you guided an ex-frat guy through various club-hopping adventures in the hopes of getting laid.

does anyone else remember this?

― gr8080, Monday, January 21, 2008 12:47 AM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol found it

http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/03/25/the-romp-booty-call-game-play-all-32-episodes-here/

oh my god this thing is amazing

srsly

Comin' from you, the number one dilznik slayer?

Episode 17 Rock Concert - Limp Dillznick!

Now that's satire.

http://www.orgasmicyogaformen.com/images/electric.jpg

^jett travolta btw

Jon Williams named this one of the web's Best of 2008.

haha these are great. lol @ national lampoon buying the rights

this is so much fun, i can't believe i have been ignoring this thread all year

i'm currently making out with ariane in the hot tub!!

so wrong, but so, so right

she looks a bit disturbingly like a girl I know

i think some kind of porn studio should buy the rights to the Ariane game and make it a live action movie :P

"want to get in my pants?"
*take off her pants*
"whoa! i'm not in the mood for that!"

^^^ Socialist Realism

Download is version 5.7 final as of 5/19/09, improved backyard activities, especially swimming

Er, "backyard activities"? o_O

Hedge-trimming, flower-picking and seed-planting, not to mention general whacking and plowing.
Best horticulture simulator since Super Mario Brothers 2 IMHO.

Every now and then I regret this forum's lack of a "delete post" button.

I was hoping for some "sweep dust up with a broom" action.

This should really have NSFW in the title. Also when is the Wii version coming out?

Oh I see that it does have a warning - sorry.

don't wii games all get vetted by nintendo for its suitability for children? although i can see ariane get on with italian plumbers

haha i didn't know there was an ilx thread on this

banged her by the lake and took pictures, as i remember

Version 6.2 out as of yesterday...

And this thread is two years old. Ariane has become ILX's regular FWB hookup...

What, who's going back in?

PT DIAGNOSED WITH SPRAINED WRIST AFTER PLAYING ARIANE GAME

http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/robotics/4343054.html

An oft-cited theory in robotics, the uncanny valley, refers to that point along the chart of robot–human likeness where a robot looks and acts nearly—but not exactly—like a human. This subtle imperfection, the theory states, causes people's feelings toward robots to veer from fondness to revulsion. Here, contributing editor Erik Sofge argues that the theory is so loosely backed it is nearly useless for roboticists.

Well, if you swap "Kraftwerk" for robot, you can see how wrong it is.

http://media.popularmechanics.com/images/uncanny_valley_470pg1_0110.jpg
"I love jazz, I find it romantic."

I had totally forgotten about this.

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/stop-fondling.jpg

Hey, I don't show up to where you work and slap the tits out of your hands, buddy. Leave me be.

want to go down her uncanny valley tbh

"my name is legion for I am many" - ring a bell to you ghouls? Did you think the devil would come with horns a'glowering? It'll take more than internet jerkwaderry to bring the Tombot down. You'll have to come and find me. I'll be waiting. Garlic's in the fridge. Sons of jackals, yeah, you'd like to believe. I know better. Bring it, you sad passel of machine imps

― El Tomboto, Thursday, January 17, 2008 2:36 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

*stuffs old t-shirt into handle of rum*

― El Tomboto, Thursday, January 17, 2008 2:37 AM Bookmark

eat once, drink once, pass the salt when she asks, talk once, compliment once, then get in the pool

― gr8080, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 9:30 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I have started using this strategy irl

It'd totally work on me fyi

lol at tombot *doing this*

is ken still there?

Looks like someone won the bonus round:

warning: totally nsfw/nsfeyes/nsfetc

is that one penis or two

Wow, it's two but it totally looks like one.

that would be two

lol I'm gonna have to start playing again

would disentangle

gr8 revive

this was the thread where grady taught me how to have sex

hi five

Don't want to dwell but the blonde doesn't have nuts, why?

because they would get in the way of the clit

Suddenly I feel like an idiot.

eat once, drink once, pass the salt when she asks, talk once, compliment once, then get in the pool

― gr8080, Wednesday, January 16, 2008 9:30 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I have started using this strategy irl

― Just Another Lyre (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, March 24, 2010 3:21 PM (2 years ago)

"my name is legion for I am many" - ring a bell to you ghouls?

lol tombot killed it on this thread

Ariane gets a visual update for the forthcoming sequel.
http://arianeb.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/finally-a-new-comic/

http://arianeb.com/sita/index.htm

the sequel's out, in beta

it seems a bit rubbishy

Fun times on this thread.

I like the tilty lady on the front page of the new one.

it seems to be a traditional Visual Novel and as such there's nowhere near the crazy complexity of the decision branching in the original. have finished one story line that was kinda funny tho.

http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/bathroom1.jpg

getting close

Wey, I was trying to remember the name of this game the other day.

from the FAQ

<i>I like the music, is there a soundtrack album?

Most of the music is by Marc Riedinger, and most of it can be purchased here. I would just retitle the tracks: 1) Paula's Lab, 2) Raptor Hunt, 3) Tower of Ion, 4) SITA Main Title, 6) Veronica's Ride, 7) Rock Golem, 8) The Maguffin Job, 9) Forest Trail, 10) The LARP, 11) Sci-Fi Convention, 12) Medusa, 13) Dance of the Vampire Stripper.</i>

http://videogamedad.tumblr.com/post/58544684684

HuffPost Politics ‏@HuffPostPol 3h
How good is your Arianna impression? http://huff.to/1jvH1YD

I misread that and almost clicked.

lol

i have no idea what this is but i tried to play it

did you fuck her

no! your walkthrough upthread needs to be more comprehensive

did she turn into Mr. Que

wow she looks way less ridiculous now in the new 2014 preview

Yeah, the stills that have been updated are pretty great. I haven't looked at it in a couple years, so I'm rusty. The game I just played ended with Parcheesi and a kiss goodnight.

hey i did it on my third try. don't think i ever managed it last time around. obviously in the intervening years i have improved my game significantly.

she gave me a 7/10, but no dice

OH SHIT

http://www.jokelibrary.net/people/d_files/ariane/1_start.html

well that didn't work right

What was it supposed to do?

these things are walkthroughs

i think you're supposed to sleep with her. this game sucks.

"supposed to" i'm not even sure that's the objective

true, we could just be trying to have a nice night with her, form a genuine connection, but this game makes PUAs of us all.

Give her a compliment -> "You look beautiful" -> Read a poem -> "IN XANADU DID KUBLA KHAN"

Hot date 4 sho

Also
"I love Jazz! I think it`s romantic. "
http://arianeb.com/dateariane/images/slow1.jpg

This guy needs to team up with ZS

http://sergioboyfriend.com/index-9.shtml

good luck markers

i'll need it

Yes! Finally!

The best I've done so far is sex twice (with the lights off), a sloshed-on-liquor nude feel up on her table right before she passes out and a game of Marco Polo in the pool with Ariane and her friend (once nude, twice splitting the bikini).

― Johnny Fever, Friday, January 18, 2008 4:48 AM (7 years ago)

Oh, apparently I've done it before...SEVEN YEARS AGO.

Lights on this time, though...and twice!

This fuckin thread

rofl JF

Lol this still exists

My philosophical goal is to write the “Great American Visual Novel”

My most regrettable fap

i'm no erotic visual novel historian but if you look in the visual novel section (nsfw obvs) on steam, it appears that the ariane series was hugely influential on the western developed titles. maybe the author did in fact write the Great American Visual Novel