m night shymalan's 'the happening'

Getcher twist ending guesses in now.

Anyway I selflessly nominate s1ocki to once again throw himself on a viewing of this movie to absorb the blast and spare all of us.

it turns out to be a good film after all?

xpost

it turns out to be a good film after all?

Truly the kind of trick only a master strategist like M. Night could pull off.

hahaha "there's some sort of...event...happening..."

Oy vey, that trailer.

calvin johnson ruins rock for another generation

http://thephoenix.com/secure/uploadedImages/The_Phoenix/Home_Entertainment/The_Ultimate/bloodening.jpg

mass suicides brought on by viewing of shitty M. Night Shamalamadingdong "film"

Given the title, I think Ebert's going to have a whole lotta fun with this one.

"This ISN'T my happening and it's GROSSING me out."

A film about spontaneous mass suicide OH BOY NOW THAT'S A THRILLER.

fuck this guy

Ned with the zing

Just getting it out of the way now.

As David walks away in disgust, Elijah reveals that he realized who he was "because of the kids", proclaiming that they "called me Mr. Glass". The final captions reveal that David informed the police about Elijah who was then arrested and sent to an institute for the criminally insane

I lolled Ned - besides, this bozo will never make a movie as great as BOTVOTD

One of those jumpers in the trailer is Mitt Romney.

What's Happening '08

"Rahj put down the knife AWWWWWW, shit, that's a lot of blood."

mass suicides brought on by viewing of shitty M. Night Shamalamadingdong "film"

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, February 5, 2008 5:46 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

This is literally the first, serious idea I had for what the plot twist might be. TURNS OUT THEY ALL WATCHED THE MOVIE THEY'RE IN, REALIZED THEY ARE ALL FICTIONAL... HARJGOHJWRH<H.

http://www.impawards.com/1993/posters/last_action_hero_ver2.jpg

In a bizarre twist on this performance art, the Improv Everywhere troup freezes the world in a state of shock with mass faked suicides.

The manner in which the "suicidal" person acts out their own "death" will be determined by the using something that begins with the first letter of the name of whatever they are looking at when they hear the word "happen" or any derivation thereof, and "maiming" a part of themselves "fatally" in a body part that coincides with the first letter of the next word they hear AFTER "happen" or any derivation thereof.

Example: Mark Walberg says to a member of the troupe "This type of shit happens every day." The person would then take a mango or a melon or a marker or something else that starts with the letter "M" and would then "maim" their own epiglottis or elbow or ear, to correspond with "every."

Morgan Freeman, playing the President of the United States, declares on national television that they need to go "tactical" with their solution and decides to "make sure this shit never happens again." The entire troupe then "maims" their ass.

ok that was too complicated

That's the twist! Nobody gets it!

AHA!

lolol @ daniel esq

i feel like he should be given a job making trailers for other people to make movies out of

why is this guy allowed to make movies

i thought the one with the grumpywumpus in the pool or whatever tanked bad

why is this guy allowed to make movies

The Sixth Sense

http://i2.ebayimg.com/01/i/000/d7/26/5714_1.JPG

he's allowed to make movies because he's only made one post-sixth sense movie that failed to make money. and even that (lady in the water) had an ok opening weekend and probably made back its money overseas & dvd.

the village would have been better as a smurfs origin tale as s1ocki fantasized

I think the Shyamalan is actually an apt director who's good at depicting ordinary human beings, but because of the success of 6th Sense or whatever his talent is kinda wasted on doing "smart" but ultimately shallow thrillers. I mean, movies like Signs or The Village might've actually been very good without his fixation on twist endings. For the most part, Signs is actually quite a moving depiction of what happens to everyday people in a time of a national crisis, but then Shyamalan has to ruin everything with his "I believe in miracles" ending. Similarly, The Village might have been an interesting film if it had actually presented its twist ending as its initial premise, and then focused on analyzing the internal politics of a close-knit conservative community.

allan_kaprow_the_courtyard.jpeg

Gotta love the IMDB synopsis for The Happening!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0949731/synopsis

Tuomas, otm. I also think he comes up with some original visual ideas, as well, which I really enjoy in movies.

After Signs, I pretty much stopped looking for the twist ending (although I totally called the ending of The Village) and just tried to enjoy the movies themselves.

I really liked Unbreakable. Samuel L. Jackson was a great comic style bad guy.

Yeah I'm in a smaaaaaaaaaaaaall minority of people who liked Unbreakable I think.

Unbreakable was as good an origin story for a superhero (he gets his powers, has to adjust to them, ponders upon the ethical implications of having such powers, meets his nemesis), but the problem is that no sequels ever followed, so as such the movie is sorta incomplete, like a pilot episode for a tv series that never materialized.

It was a good comic book, with Hollywood stars and dark shading. Whats not to like, right Hoos?

Tuomas - possibly, but Hollywood does not work like Marvel comics.

Yeah I know, that's why Shyamalan shouldn't have done a Marvel origin story as a Hollywood film.

I like the scene from The Village when Blind Opie is wandering around the forest being pursued by 'monsters.'

But after paying money to see Signs, I won't be making that mistake again.

I'm with teh HOOS on Unbreakable... until Act III, anyway. There are some really moving shots and very effective scenes. Tuomas OTM as well - dude's an excellent craftsman and observer of stillnesses and sadnesses and thwarted ambitions and emotions held in check and could have a fine movie in him yet if he didn't insist on a) writing them and b) being clever and c) let alone the New Hitchcock.

What amazing is how consistently each of his flix is worse than the last.

Yeah, I guess that's true, 6th Sense was the only one I thought was a good movie even despite the twist ending.

could have a fine movie in him yet if he didn't insist on a) writing them

Absolutely the truth. See also the Coen Brothers with "No Country for Old Men" Almost 20 years of their own stuff - cult following, critical acclaim. Adaptation of novel = Multiple Oscar Noms

Not that an Oscar nom is the end all and be all of film quality, but its a more complete film that a lot of their other stuff.

god please don't let m night make a bleak chamber drama

oh wait he's done that for like six movies in a row now, nm

also blam i think you're forgetting 'fargo'

ya and also they DID make good movies before no country so...

also blam i think you're forgetting 'fargo'

No, they wrote that one, too, and I would put "No Country" above that in my rankings of Coen Bros. movies. Absolutely.

ya and also they DID make good movies before no country so...

No argument there. I just think that No Country is a more focused, solid movie than their earlier stuff. Even Fargo, which is probably the next one on that scale. I think they outsmart themselves sometimes.

And ShamalamaBabyinmylamalamdingdongheyhey would probably greatly benefit from the collaborative elements of working with a writer.

"Hi, is Mr. Darabont available?"

no i mean fargo had multiple oscar noms

so their own stuff also = multiple oscar noms

True. But you see what I'm getting at here, right? They, like M. Night, are talented filmmakers who sometimes prevent their best work from coming out by trying to do too much.

If you have nearly 20 years of making movies, you are bound to get one of your own REALLY dead on, and Fargo is a great example.

So, either Shamashamashama goes for another 10 years or so without collaboration, or spontaneously pops out a classic, unless he's already blown his load with Sixth Sense.

i do agree that dudes who are as hermetic as the coens can get can always benefit from a little outside loosey-goosey. that's why empire strikes back is the best star wars movie.

that's why empire strikes back is the best only good star wars movie.

fixed

that's why empire strikes back is the best star wars movie.

See also: Lando, in his pimp lair.

It's making me lol just the fact that "M Night Shymalan's "The Happening"" is a real thing. I thought it was a joke all along, yknow, like someone's hilarious re-edit or something.

But you see what I'm getting at here, right? They, like M. Night, are talented filmmakers who sometimes prevent their best work from coming out by trying to do too much.

b-b-but...

http://www.jdmfilmreviews.com/userimages/user-5251743_1169692868.jpg

Everyone sing along with Diana Ross and The Supremes:

Hey life look at me, I can see the reality
Cause when you shook me, took me out of my world
I woke up, suddenly I just woke up to the happening.

When you find that you left the future behind
Cause when you got a tender love you don't
Take care of, then you better beware of the happening.

One day you're up, then you turn around
You find your world is tumbling down
It happened to me and it can happen to you.

I was sure, I felt secure, until love took a detour
Yeah, riding high on top of the world
It happened, suddenly it just happened.

I saw my dreams fall apart, when love walked away from my heart
And when you lose that precious love you need to guide you
Something happens inside you, the happening.

Now I see life for what it is
It's not all dreams, it's not all bliss
It happened to me and it can happen to you
Once!

Ooo, and then it happened
Ooo, and then it happened
Ooo, and then it happened
Ooo, and then it happened.

Is it real, is it fake, is this game of life a mistake
Cause when I lost the love I thought was mine
For certain, suddenly I started hurting.

I saw the light too late, when that fickle finger of fate
Yeah came and broke my pretty balloon
I woke up, suddenly I just walked up to the happening.

So sure, I felt secure, until love took a detour
Cause when you got a tender love you don-t
Take care of, then you better beware of the happening.

Every time I read this title I picture a movie about a bunch of Fluxus people hanging out on a farm.

I'd see this.

there's something remarkably un-scary about a bunch of people killing themselves at once

i know... i mean it's pretty fucked up but i wouldn't be like... running away and stuff

it's not really a quantifiable external threat.

I kinda actually totally want to see a thriller starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo. Directed by M. Night just means I might wait till DVD.

m night shymalan's 'land shark'

lol

m night shymalan's "the mysterious but persistent and widespread itching"

The ad makes it look like he won't let go of his desire to watch a rainbow coalition enter a world of incoherent magic and survive thanks to LOVE, even if mass suicide has replaced Bryce Dallas Howard as motivation.

As David walks away in disgust, Elijah reveals that he realized who he was "because of the kids", proclaiming that they "called me Mr. Glass". The final captions reveal that David informed the police about Elijah who was then arrested and sent to an institute for the criminally insane.

To be fair, that caption was forced on by Disney. Not that it isn't the most lol closing caption ever.

so apparently there's already spoilers out for this one

http://phillyist.com/2007/08/24/psst_we_know_a.php

if true, much less interesting than my 1st reaction which was like "oh it's just the lemming response to overcrowding"

this movie is really setting itself up for jokes about audiences following the film's example

lots of detail in these spoilers here

http://www.filmbuffonline.com/ReadingRoom/TheHappening.htm

what if "children of men" was a twist movie and the directors were just trying to keep everyone from finding out the secret of the future. i predict the movie would have been really lame.

stuff doesn't have to be surprising to be scary. they don't make you put on blindfolds while you stand in line for rollercoasters.

gasp! love doesn't save the day? if that's true he really must have been hurt by the reaction to Lady In The Water.

i know... i mean it's pretty fucked up but i wouldn't be like... running away and stuff

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, February 6, 2008 12:34 AM (22 minutes ago)

i think this would fuck me up something severe

actually they cover that angle in this review:

http://goneelsewhere.wordpress.com/2007/08/12/m-night-shyamalans-the-happening-script-review/

xpost

yeah of course if it actually happened it would be scary, I just mean the images in the trailer are oddly unscary.

it might actually be a cool plot if everyone was just really depressed

The Sorta Happening Maybe

Plant life reacts to negative and positive energy accordingly. If you are a negative person, a tree is more likely to kill you. No, I’m not joking.

Watch out, Bob Balaban!

Maybe there will be a scene where a critic on TV gives a movie a thumbs up and the other gives it a thumbs down, looks at a nearby fern and then slits his own throat.

now that is a really bad review

In sum, viewers that want bang-for-their-buck horror would be better served seeking out...AAAAAARRRRGHHH

Do you like characters outrunning fireballs? How about characters outrunning WIND?

The lethal fart of an endangered tree

"Outrun the Wind," isn't a Michael Bolton song or something?

This summer...don't inhale.

"Outrun the wind
Reach out and be free
Because it's a fart
From a pissed-off tree."

m night's shamaylan's the one who smelt it ... died

lol after lol

Silent But Deadly

DOORKNOB

As David walks away in disgust, Elijah reveals that he realized who he was "because of the kids", proclaiming that they "called me Mr. Glass". The final captions reveal that David informed the police about Elijah who was then arrested and sent to an institute for the criminally insane.

To be fair, that caption was forced on by Disney. Not that it isn't the most lol closing caption ever.

Wtf, I totally don't remember the film ending with such captions. Maybe it wasn't in all versions of it?

yeah the captions were completely wtf.

in spite of it being really really stupid i genuinely like Signs.

i like the birthday party. and the basement scenes. and the cornfield. and the tinfoil hats. there's a ton of rad shit in signs! and in unbreakable too.

alien invasions are just cool though, and redeem lots of could-have-been-shitty movies. like, for example, independence day.

Unbreakable is his best film, as one of the most singular superhero films ever made. Otherwise yeah, it's been all downhill since the beginning. If this one is on the Signs/Village level of mediocrity I'll still probably watch it for the camera work and the twist.

and rogermexico otm as always about miller's crossing upthread.

I have never watched an M. Night Shyamalan film, but I am excited about The Happening.

So let me get this straight, apart from Shymalan himself, I'm the only person on the planet who liked "Lady in the Water"

I've never felt so alone...

Silent But Deadly

ok this really should have been the title

M Night threads are so annoying. This guy just makes silly but fun little ghost stories so I'm cool.

I thought Lady In The Water was OK, still kind of a fiasco, but not an unwatchable one. But then, I liked The Village and Unbreakable, too (and Tuomas's whole "that movie only would've been good with a generic action movie sequel" argument is totally missing the point, like saying Cloverfield should've been more like Godzilla '98).

I opened this thread thinking "hmmm, how many posts until some douchebag starts making jokes about the guy's ethnic surname and calls him something 'hilarious' like Shamalamadingdong?" Shakey didn't disappoint, but B.L.A.M. really upped the ante.

shymalan happens

I haven't seen anything by him since Unbreakable -- which I liked til the last scene.

I think that's the last movie his I saw too -- I watched about 5 minutes of the Village on tv but that doesn't really count.

Signs starts out great but gets egregiously stupid by the end. Lady In The Water is kind of fascinating - I used to think it was the only director-faulted flop that could never have its own cult, but I wonder if there are enough brain-damaged Amblin-heads to prove me wrong.

Never saw the Village cuz it sounds horrible AND boring, Lady In The Water sounded pretty funny so I rented it.

Signs starts out great but gets egregiously stupid by the end.

OTM. I really, really liked the first half of that movie despite Gibson. I liked the idea that the movie was focusing on this rather isolated, single family in the midst of something as huge as an alien invasion. I loved that the only glimpses of the alien were what they caught on TV, very brief at that. But the ending was so fucking stupid that it destroyed the whole thing.

Yeah I think all his endings are flawed in some way but that's the only one that kind of dampened how I felt about the whole movie.

"I'm driving to the lake, they don't seem to like the water" HOW DO THEY LIKE THE ATMOSPHERE, BASIL EXPOSITION?

"there's some sort of event happening"

vs.

"less and less information is emerging from the area"

vs.

"could this be happening?" THE HAPPENING.

=

this fucking guy.

happen. what's happening? happen. happening. happening. could this be happening? shit happens. there's some sort of happening. happen it up.

A movie about Beat Happening would be scarier.

fred_willard.jpeg

m night shymalan's Evil Weed

M Night threads are so annoying. This guy just makes silly but fun little ghost stories so I'm cool.

-- blueski, Wednesday, February 6, 2008 2:49 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

raise your standards dude.

If you go back to the ILX threads from around 1910, O. Henry took a lot of shit too.

he actually posted to the noise board for a while as bro henry.

are you comparing them on the basis that both use an initial for a first name? because that is the only way in which they must be similiar

if i raised my standards in film taste i'd be like those guys whose bitching/praising ratio on msg boards is 99-1

The "O. Henry Twist" has nothing to do with what we're discussing. I stand corrected.

hopefully some wag will alter the poster to say The Happy Haps

maybe it will inspire a rap album called the rappening the same way another bad movie inspired jay-z's american gangster.

The Crappening more like

Ja, I can't understand how anyone can defend this guy. Even 6th Sense, which is apparently 'the good one' is pitiful, the twist ending signposted from a million miles away, the acting not great, the atmosphere non-existent. The Village was, to be fair, hilariously awful, and I quite enjoyed watching it from between my fingers, in paroxysms of pained giggling. Signs on the other hand was the dullest thing I've ever witnessed, until the aliens show up and then it's both boring and stupid. (These were all on TV, by the way, I didn't waste my time and money by proactively seeking them out.)

However, I've now been informed that there appears to be an event happening. OMG!

The Crappening:

Little Thomas has ... the runs!

I can't understand how anyone can defend this guy

This guy just makes silly but fun little ghost stories

B-b-but they're not fun. They're boring and stupid and terrible and made badly. Okay, sometimes they're made so badly that they are amusing, but from what I've seen that's not even the majority case, and he's certainly no Ed Wood.

you forgot 'preachy' and 'oprah-esque'

I mean, I suppose the defence could be that he makes good ILx threads. The one ages ago which was basically a 'make your own M. Night film concept' was pretty damn awesoem.

I Am Legend was like a good M Night movie.

Oh my GOD this is the best thing I've heard in a long time.

I hope this has the same plot and pace as Dr. Who "Seeds of Doom."

B-b-but they're not fun. They're boring and stupid and terrible and made badly.

This pretty much sums up all criticism of the guy I've seen...

But then if someone actually reasoned why he's bad, I probably wouldn't think their examples that relevant or meaningful. The working behind the Signs climax is obviously stupid but I chose not to let that spoil the rest of the film for me where not a foot is put wrong.

With The Village it was also so obvious (and boring) why people would hate but I don't feel that way thankfully. Not a case of standards but perception/attitude. I would feel stupid for not hating these films except I don't see what is to gain from getting to a point where I'd be watching them and groaning every 5 minutes.

I Am Legend felt quite flat to me.

if M Night was a band, who would it be?

who is the American Sigur Ros?

he'd be a bad band that sucks and nobody likes.

except you.

Daughtry?

where not a foot is put wrong - I do not get this at all. It seemed badly acted and not very interesting. The family weren't believable and their backstory was tedious and exposition-ridden. But let's agree to disagree, you do realise that there's an event happening?

M Night's movies generally LOOK really good and he's a good visual storyteller, the problem is the stories he comes up with are terrible.

His next movie after this is going to be a live-action remake of Avatar: The Last Airbender (incredibly well-written anime-esque Nickelodeon cartoon)...actually he's contracted to do a trilogy of Avatar movies. I'm sort of hopeful for it as an Avatar fan since the show's creators are participating in the writing process, and that Shyamalan apparently is a huge fan of the story and is trying to make it as accurate a re-telling as he can.

This I learned watching Avatar s2 DVD extras.

You know actually Shyamalan's best movie might actually be Stuart Little.

actually

he'd be a bad band that sucks and nobody likes.
except you.

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, 6 February 2008 17:14 (6 minutes ago)

fingers crossed this makes a zing/lol thread dude

the problem is the stories he comes up with are terrible.

they're pretty good...except for the all important resolution...some of the time. i mean not everyone guesses the twist after the first 5 mins. it's like what beth said on another m night thread re the lights dimming in your mind.

is that Avatar thing gong to clash with Cameron's (unrelated) Avatar thing?

THE HAPPENING.

Yes, there's some kind of dispute over the title...I think both deals were closed on the same day.

xpost to stevem

blueski the horror stories he make are neither SILLY nor FUN nor LITTLE. he takes himself and his big dumb movies incredibly serious, and essentially sucks all fun and silliness out of them with overbearing atmospherics and wooden performances.

like there are ways to defend him--he gets terrific work from his photographers--but "silly little fun horror movies"?? youve got to be kidding me. he's not 1980s wes craven. he thinks he's the next spielberg. what on earth was SILLY about signs? what was "fun" about the sixth sense?? which one of his movies was "little"? three out of four have starred huge stars and grossed a zillion dollars.

dunno where you got 'horror movies' from max

what on earth was SILLY about signs?
there were some cute/funny scenes with the kids and Joaquin, tho granted underpinning them all was an evident and genuine sense of fear

which one of his movies was "little"?
fine. silly but fun MEGA-ENORMOUS ghost stories if you prefer.

but you're taking my terminology literally here when i didn't mean his films are especially (intentionally) zany/humourous whatever.

Scorsese makes silly but fun little gangster movies yo

...

thus i win

sorry "ghost stories"--i just think terms like "silly and fun" are bizarre when applied to shyamalan, especially since the things most of the ppl on this thread hate about him (myself included) are specifically related to his total inability to be fun or silly or lighthearted! i dont think ive seen a director take his movies as seriously as mns takes his!!

and, uh, if you dont want me to take your terminology literally, dont use words you dont mean?

shyamalan's sense of humour is the fucking WORST.

omg is this movie seriously called "the happening"

is it set in the 1950's? does some shit go down with some beatniks?

"The guy lifts weights with just one arm!!! His physiology is clearly unbalanced!"

...

"Get it???"

Classic Shymalan laffs

like, you cant defend him on the same terms that nabisco was defending vampire weekend (theyre just a fun lighthearted indie pop band/director) because he isnt fun or lighthearted and his movies are anything but just little silly ghost stories. nothing with him is ever easy or light, its always as heavy-handed and brooding as possible.

my bad, max, my bad

taking your work seriously is good, i don't know if he goes too far with this (probably in terms of how they usually end poorly sure) but i still think the humour is weighted really well in Signs generally.

the way the far right body falls off the building in the trailer is hilaaaaarious. why are we having SERIOUS M. NIGHT DISCUSSION instead of laughing at how dumb this movie looks?

The Village has a few funnyish bits at the start but they're not so hot and it's probably a mistake that you don't get any further on.

"Outrun the Wind," isn't a Michael Bolton song or something?

-- Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 6 February 2008 07:09 (10 hours ago) Link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/eb/ShesLiketheWind.jpg

landofnod2 (1 hour ago) 0
Reply | Spam
This film is a faggot.

I think blueski's point, that you can enjoy his movies if you don't take them as seriously as they're meant to be taken but aren't outraged by the GALL of the director's intentions, isn't really such a hard one to understand, guys.

I love his GALL sooooooooooo much!

Is it true he is a crazy hardcore Catholic?

I think blueski's point, that you can enjoy his movies if you don't take them as seriously as they're meant to be taken but aren't outraged by the GALL of the director's intentions, isn't really such a hard one to understand, guys.

-- Alex in Baltimore, Wednesday, February 6, 2008 6:00 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

it's just hard to understand anybody liking his recent movies, period.

and i say this as a guy who liked sixth sense when i saw it (opening day, had no idea there was even a twist at all so i was pretty much the ideal audience), and who has defended signs too. well some aspects of it.

you're like the Alex In NYC of film, bless you

you're like the guy who falls for crappy movies of film.

unbreakable is terrible and all his movies look like made for tv movies of the week.

I've been convinced, by arguments for it above, to give Lady In The Water a go now. i never even saw all of The Sixth Sense because HJO and the hype surrounding it at the time put me off so much. I totally expected to hate Signs when I first saw the trailer and only ended up going to see it as a chance to visit the specific cinema it was playing in (this was in Amsterdam) so found it a pleasant surprise after that which then improved with a couple more viewings. The Happening doesn't look that great to me yet tho if only just because it's his new 'monsters off' one (he only does them every other movie it seems).

(this was in Amsterdam)

aha!

i think m night mistakes slow and quiet for serious and meaningful.

he's not slow and quiet enough or not serious and meaningful enough?

this is like when i defend Bono, i've realised

M Night films > 00s U2

i think he mistakes boring pomposity for entertainment

i liked sixth sense and most of unbreakable but someone should just give him a job as a cinematographer and stop letting him write movies

the middle hour of sixth sense was genuinely creepy.

i kind of forget what happened in unbreakable, except people talked really quietly about Seriously Dour Shit.

I HATE the movie trend of characters whispering really loudly. (See: that one crappy Julianne Moore film.)

i look forward to him directing something written by someone that knows how to write a story.

See: that one crappy Julianne Moore film.

You might need to limit that a bit more.

this guy wants to be spielberg but spielberg has made serious, deep genre films which also happen to be really entertaining. m night shymalan just ends up making movies more in line with 'the mist'.

paul t anderson also does the annoying whisper thing.

I agree with Max that he's a technically proficient (even 'good'?) filmmaker, but his story sense is crappy & underserved by bad scripts & silly talky bits of metaphysical pretensions.

I would love to see him direct Poe or Hawthorne, though.

as much as everyone says he should just use his strengths as a stylist to focus on adaptations and remakes, I think it'd be pretty boring if his career totally went the way of recent Tim Burton.

hell yeah

(have defended POTA on ILE too tho argh)

the burton remake??

m. night shamaylan's a light in august

m. night shamaylan's One Day

m. night shamaylan's One Fine Day

actually he's contracted to do a trilogy of Avatar movies.

I thought he was making Aquaman II with Jake Gyllenhaal.

reviving a dormant thread just to make a stale Entourage reference?

http://i17.tinypic.com/6ptj2ua.gif

http://i28.tinypic.com/256sewy.gif

this is gonna be hilarious

honestly it looks amazing - befuddled marky mark is one of the greatest joys in all moviedom

ttyih

why was i so mad on this thread?

You saw The Village?

supposedly terrible shockah:

http://www.collider.com/entertainment/reviews/article.asp/aid/7903/tcid/1

extended clip with intro from from shyamalan ("i hope you enjoy this clip of the movie and i hope you don't get too scared"):

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809921595/video/7827805

"i hope you enjoy this clip of the movie and i hope you don't get too scared"

'For a moment, Night was congenial.'

Okay, from that review:

The closest comparison I can draw is to Neil LaBute's "Wicker Man"

Bees vs. trees

good god i had no idea that wicker man was labute!! holy fuck.

I'm sure LaBute would have appreciated you never finding that out.

omg the spoiler, roffle roffle roffle roffle roffle roffle roffle roffle roffle

SPOILER ALERT

http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~njk26/link62.htm

dan speaks the truth, the spoiler is megarofflez

It is! But it was spoiled already (read upthread re: farting trees).

heh, it's not just that, there's an extra detail in the spoiler section of the review

The last bit? Yes, that was amazing. Give Wahlberg's costar an Oscar.

lol

i feel really bad for all the actors in this

I don't! They knew they were going to be dealing with M. Night going in!

"Mark, baby, we've got your latest project lined up."

"Great, who with?"

"It's a wonderful story, smash box office, put you on the top for summer."

"Yeah, but who's directing?"

"Won't take too long, they've got this one bit where you react to the least expected thing ever, it'll be comedy gold."

"Wait, what IS this?"

"Shooting starts next Monday, see ya there!"

Next Monday...

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Sorry, Mark, contract says you're committed to the whole thing! You know the drill!"

The closest comparison I can draw is to Neil LaBute's "Wicker Man" and, like that film, the only consolation I can offer potential theater-goers is that you might want to see it just to be in on the ground floor when the film gets its ass handed back to it.

oof

if it has anything half as funny as nic cage in a bear suit i'm there

I am looking forward to this!

It is a new genre called trainwreck cinema.

OMG the spoiler!!! I want to see this just for the roffles now.

SPOILER:

Man, I hope there's a revenge-on-hippies scene.

Rifftrax gold here!

i think this is the same plot as Troll 2?

this is sorely lacking in ghostly grandpas

They got a branch they call number 51.

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/The-Day-of-the-Triffids-Poster-C10126147.jpeg

FITE!

Oh man, that clip

"They think it started in Rittenhouse Square Park!"
"...another park?"

Seriously.

I think I feel most bad for Leguizamo. That man is one great actor, and I hope this doesn't do any damage to his career.

I know, from the heights of Spawn and The Pest to THIS. *shakes head*

TEXT ME I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

"She's going to the town of Princeton!"

^^serious LOLs

red band trailer

The Gorening.

always down for a horror film that will make the likely simpsons 'treehouse of horror' homage seem redundant

Umm, I'm almost afraid to admit it, but i think the basic idea (the "spoiler") is kinda cool. Not saying that shrubs = TEH SCARY! will work as a horror hook, but I like the concept of a planetary trigger mechanism that responds to biological/environmental threats. Sci-fi nerd in me approves, though it doesn't make a lick of actual scientific sense (how would such a mechanism evolve in the 1st place?).

red-band trailer makes me want to see it!

http://www.substance001.net/the_happening_trailer3/the_happening_trailer3_1500k.mov

sorry, didn't spot latebloomer had already posted it.

wahlberg is going to so bad in this.

test post

lol wahlbergs "there are forces at work beyond our understanding" total i heart huckabees outtake

i think this looks awesome

OK I saw the red band trailer and nothing else and thought this good but mega-lolz at the cause, esp that reviewer's pointing out, how does one make trees memacing anyway hahaha oh man now I want to see this for all the wrong reasons (and I *liked* Unbreakable)

This looks like the worst movie ever. I do, however, love the snippet in the trailer with the lion tearing off a hapless victim's bloody arm.

lol shoulda been telling that *SPOILER?* the orig script was called 'the green effect'

it sorta looks like the beginning would have been great and scary if you saw it w/ no warning.

but what's up w/ the second half? looks like the last 45 minutes will be wahlberg struggling to fend off ... an old lady w/ a shotgun?

god i hope so

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809921595/video/7827805

Jesus Christ that's fucking embarrassing. I've defended this guy in the past, but...

He comes across as incredibly self-impressed in an unselfconscious way that I associate with people under the age of 14.

i'm told the screenplay is on the internet somewhere. ducats and fame to anyone who will send it to me.

"I immediately threw out what I was writing and writing this new movie"

Well, at least we dodged *one*, eh?

Wow @ that bit in the red trailer with the sit-on lawnmower.

I fucking hate Shyamalan and hope this ends his useless career.

as I suggested in the thread I started regarding this commodity

Here in NYC, the TV ad, in its first seconds, shows people leaping from a tall building.

1. It's not subtext if you fist fuck us with it, Night.
2. Fuck *you*, douchbag one-trick-pony.

thanks.

1. It's not subtext if you fist fuck us with it, Night.

poetry

I am told Fox have pulled all press shows and interviews "in order to maintain the mystique of the film". This is going to be superb.

["surprising" moderator twist at the end]

The ModRequining

M. Night, a sensitive artist

>Mr. Shyamalan is also directing “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” a big tent-pole movie based on a Nickelodeon cartoon

God, headline writers have a great day coming

big night aka the airbender

why does shyamalan want to make a movie about big tent-poles

http://bp3.blogger.com/__XCWUd8FFjQ/SEVRsyuRNUI/AAAAAAAADaE/6krn2-IkrkM/s1600/thePenis.jpg

For those that can't see it...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/thePenis.jpg

a+

So s1ocki, you booked for this thing yet?

What I really don't get about the ad campaign for this is the whole 'HIS FIRST R RATED MOVIE!" hype. Nothing about anything I've seen from him has made me think 'ooh, he'll direct a great sex scene!"

tomorrow morning!

Nothing about anything I've seen from him has made me think 'ooh, he'll direct a great sex scene!"

Redefining 'twist ending.'

this =

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/funny-dog-pictures-cone-lol.jpg

:-D

DETAILS. Whatever you can share for now.

all i can say is it exactly what you are expecting.

Very good. One more thing -- is the Wahlberg/houseplant exchange the funniest thing in the film?

not by a long shot.

:-D :-D :-D

Pfc. Bellrichard recognized the threat to the lives of his 4 comrades and threw himself upon the grenade, shielding his companions from the blast that followed. Although severely wounded, Pfc. Bellrichard struggled into an upright position in the foxhole and fired his rifle at the enemy until he succumbed to his wounds. His selfless heroism contributed greatly to the successful defense of the position, and he was directly responsible for saving the lives of several of his comrades.

And the metaphor comes full circle.

http://www.37signals.com/svn/images/the_end_small_2.png

The MPAA Motion picture association of America rated The Happening (2008 film) R for violent and disturbing images. The red band trailer includes gruesome scenes taken from the movie. The Happening is Shyamalan's first R rated film; his other works, such as Lady in the Water, Signs, Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense, The Village, have been rated PG-13. Shyamalan has stated that The Happening will prove to be terrifying to audiences.

only 91 min~!

ok i just need to get this out. at one point, kind of the suspense highlight of the movie, our protags run for their life from... a light breeze.

What perfect timing for oppressively humid east coast heat.

i said goddamn!

lololol

Someone should really do a poll for those end credit titles Ned posted.

Nobody's stopping ya.

Yeah, but I'm lazy.

http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-06/39869885.jpg

"...oops."

http://www.avclub.com/content/newswire/funky_bunch_reunion_not_a

;_;

Part of me would love to run around and act like a freaking asshole again but I can’t do that.

Yes you can YOU'RE IN THIS MOVIE.

http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/happening

Ouch.

Also, in approx 7 years Mark Wahlberg is SO going to look like an old lesbian.

I was hoping for the exact opposite of that news: The Happening not being released and the Funky Bunch back together. Damn!

The event involves ordinary people -- more and more of them as the story grinds on -- doing terrible things to themselves because of some unspecified aberration of nature. According to one theory, plants are releasing a neurotoxin that is "basically flipping the self-preservation switch." Could be. "The Happening" makes you wonder whether Mr. Shyamalan's own switch may have been flipped.

lol zing

you shut up, marky mark will never age and his cK briefs will always be stretched taut xxpost

TNR weighs in

Elliot, Alma, and Jess flee from Philadelphia to a series of smaller towns and ultimately the rural countryside. This makes sense in the movie's nonsensical context-- the nation's trees are somehow "targeting" big cities first and then smaller and smaller populations. But it seems more than a little unhinged that our heroes' response to the revelation that the trees are trying to kill them is to head into the forest.

The twist?
Mark Marky finds Jesus.
Oh no wait....
I'm so mad that someone so fine is that into Jesus right now, its always 'Christ this or Christ that' in any interview I've seen him in lately,.
I'll still watch this tho, the adverts are working for me.I personally am ALWAYS shocked by any Manoj Night Shymalan movie twists (first time round), but Lady In The Water was unnecessary by fucking far.

City Releases Dogs Into National Forest

LOL:

10. Speaking of wind, there's a priceless meant-to-be-tragic scene in which a woman traveling with Elliot et al. is talking to her daughter on a cell phone and urging her to stay in her room. After we hear her kill herself, Elliot snatches the phone, listens, and reports somberly, "I hear wind from outside."

This movie sounds like The Mist if it had sucked. Somehow prehistoric creatures still sound more plausible than angry houseplants.

I wonder if it is Night of the Lepus bad though or just bad bad.

oh no it is happening

this makes me lol everytime i open this thread

http://www.montrealmirror.com/2008/061208/film6.html

that's my review. first sentence got screwed up though... has the opposite meaning.

I wonder if it is Night of the Lepus bad though or just bad bad.

Well nothing could top DeForest Kelley in a yellow turtleneck and a huge mustache, really.

The Mist remake was good???

that's my review.

I love that you just went for the obvious with the headline. I salute you.

Well nothing could top DeForest Kelley in a yellow turtleneck and a huge mustache, really.

i dunno, i wonder if george takei ever topped that

Thank you, I think.

you're SO welcome, ned

Hahaha

The Fog (2005) was a remake, The Mist (2007) was an adaptation. I only saw the latter, but it was definitely not very good.

it was good except for the last couple minutes.

ugh yeah that ending

marcia gay harden was pretty great in the mist: "if i ever need a friend like you, i'll just squat and shit one out"

i kept imagining that character as Angela from the Office.

haa

lol @ "the crappening"

another great title from the usual gang of idiots

http://frictionandfiction.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/russertc.jpg
FIDEL CASTRO DEAD

i may have posted that in the wrong thread

not quite as funny as when you randomly turned the Robocop/Total Recall thread on 77 into the Star Trek thread the other day.

i saw this today. basically, to repeat what slocki said:

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/funny-dog-pictures-cone-lol.jpg

it was very hard to keep from laughing uncontrollably at this during certain parts.

the tone and pacing and the writing and the acting an just about everything else are so awkward it's almost hallucinatory.

lovers of mark whalberg looking confused will definitely enjoy this.

i don't think there is a shot in the movie where his brow isn't furrowed

Crapola.

This is what I get for giving Shyamalan one more chance. I said that last time too - I'm a glutton for punishment

Unlike Lady In The Water though, there were a few 'eerie' scenes - the first third was promising, ie the hanged folk, the construction workers, etc

Also liked the tractor scene, but now I'm just so obviously trying to be the only person on this thread to say something positive about such an abysmal film, so I'll stop.

ILX environmentalists, help me out - what exactly was the "message" of this movie? That if we don't listen to Al Gore the err, foliage shall have the last laugh?

the message of the film is

<img src="http://i28.tinypic.com/256sewy.gif";>

http://i28.tinypic.com/256sewy.gif

the message of the film is we better make sure to cut down all the trees before they kill us.

The Happening II: The Ghost of Paul Bunyan

"... astonishing."

-- Mark S1utsky, Montreal Mirror

heh

the tone and pacing and the writing and the acting an just about everything else are so awkward it's almost hallucinatory.

-- latebloomer, Saturday, 14 June 2008 23:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

latebloomer, I just quoted this in an email I sent to all my friends trying to drum up some interest in getting drunk then going to see this movie.

Damn you caek, you've stolen both my idea and my rationale. You live around here? We could get drunk together.

No, I am in Oxford, UK :(

LA is in my top five places I want to end up after PhD though, so hold that thought!

the tone and pacing and the writing and the acting an just about everything else are so awkward it's almost hallucinatory.

But that's what makes it such a damn good movie (though not a great one like Unbreakable or The Village or my beloved The Lady in the Water and it's megatons better than his worst Signs and prolly even than the slightly overrated single-mother-hating The Sixth Sense).

I mean, who gives a fuck about awkward acting? "Good acting" hasn't been good at least since Brando learned The Method (or how to access the "treeness" of his tree roles or whatever). Zooey Deschanel's performance is a fucking tour de force! Esp. the first time we see her, all bug-eyed melodramatic pre-1927 style at the sight of....a phone! (Wha?) You want good acting? Then go watch Sophie's Choice or whatever.

And who gives a fuck about awkward tone or pacing? I WANT my movies to dislocate me every few minutes. I WANT my movies to be like the first side of the first Roxy Music album, all proggy hither-and-thither but with Pop Tarts for dinner instead of whatever curry Rick (Never A)Wakeman was wolfing down while bored on stage. You want your movies to go the gym and reduce their lumps or get buff? Then go watch, oh I don't know, You Can Count On Me or The Fabulous Baker Boys (both damn fine but both Manifesto to The Happening's Side 1 of the debut) or that Rambo flick where he detonated the 60-year-old bomb (and thank god too - the warranty was about to expire). Better yet, go take in the abysmal No Country for Old Men (aka Halloween for Hepcats).

And hello? When has hallucinatory ever been a bad thing in the cinemah?

And HELLO! Which current Hollywood director is better than Shyamalan? Michael Mann? Yeah ok. Peyton Reed? Most definitely. Luther Price? Hollywood, sweetz, Hollywood. Ok then.

Death to the well-proportioned film!

P.S. Hells yes I know what the "message" of the film is. But I ain't telling you meanies.

Which current Hollywood director is better than Shyamalan?

Uwe Boll?

No.

Kevin do you apply this logic to the music you love?

very much agree with slocki's review. If m. just had one decent editor who would call him out on his bullshit, this could have been a decent movie. disillusioning to see how much seemingly average actors are completely at the mercy of the script.

The only effective and tense part of the movie (the old lady) has almost nothing to do with the plot.

I think The Mist is an accidentally great film.

I will never watch a Night-mare again. The second unit director on buffing whips his trembling arse

er--Buffy

Really, it's amazing how quickly and robustly Night has gone from enjoyably disposable to despicably awful.

Well his career arc makes me think of how my friend Stripey described her once-beloved U2, who she followed pretty much from the start of their career -- as she put it, once Bono started believing his own press, he started playing up more of what he expected his audience most wanted.

Kevin do you apply this logic to the music you love?

Well, Eno-era Roxy. And I'm more a Rid of Me kind of guy than a Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea one. But I worship the ground The Go-Betweens walk(ed) on so...

I don't know. I still haven't heard a compelling argument against this film, something that goes beyond "the acting sucks" or "the tone is all off."

"I hear wind from outside"

also: I do not want to see someone jump off a building ever again, tht was bleak

I don't know. I still haven't heard a compelling argument against this film, something that goes beyond "the acting sucks" or "the tone is all off."

-- Kevin John Bozelka, Sunday, June 15, 2008 11:33 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

as a thriller, it fails to create or sustain suspense. it's structured so that there's no climax. the overall idea is poorly thought-out. the characters and their relationships are obviously supposed to be meaningful and to connect with the audience; they fall at that on every level.

shyamalan's premise is so half-baked he doesn't even include a scene where one of the protagonists starts to succumb to the "happening" and struggles with it--a no-brainer that would have at least created some sort of conflict to be resolved. (come to think of it, a way more interesting way to play this movie would be to have wahlberg's character be suicidal PRE-happening and have him ironically be the one fighting the suicide impulse over the course of the movie; it could have also played with the idea of whether his suicidal impulses were "genuine" or "happening"-based.)

as usual shyamalan's dialogue is stilted to the point where it calls attention to itself; it feels like a first draft or a character sketch. in this genre especially, it has a way of taking the audience out of the movie and dissolving what little suspense has been built up.

the movie's inconsistent logic also works against it. why aren't wahlberg et al affected when they're clearly not any different than the rest, not even travelling in a larger group? why are they travelling INTO the wilderness? without establishing, or even teasing out, clear "ground rules," the audience has no way to meaningfully connect with the narrative.

furthermore, that scene where the teenagers get shot is LOL.

or:

But that's what makes it such a damn good movie (though not a great one like Unbreakable or The Village or my beloved The Lady in the Water and it's megatons better than his worst Signs and prolly even than the slightly overrated single-mother-hating The Sixth Sense).

I mean, who gives a fuck about awkward acting? "Good acting" hasn't been good at least since Brando learned The Method (or how to access the "treeness" of his tree roles or whatever). Zooey Deschanel's performance is a fucking tour de force! Esp. the first time we see her, all bug-eyed melodramatic pre-1927 style at the sight of....a phone! (Wha?) You want good acting? Then go watch Sophie's Choice or whatever.

And who gives a fuck about awkward tone or pacing? I WANT my movies to dislocate me every few minutes. I WANT my movies to be like the first side of the first Roxy Music album, all proggy hither-and-thither but with Pop Tarts for dinner instead of whatever curry Rick (Never A)Wakeman was wolfing down while bored on stage. You want your movies to go the gym and reduce their lumps or get buff? Then go watch, oh I don't know, You Can Count On Me or The Fabulous Baker Boys (both damn fine but both Manifesto to The Happening's Side 1 of the debut) or that Rambo flick where he detonated the 60-year-old bomb (and thank god too - the warranty was about to expire). Better yet, go take in the abysmal No Country for Old Men (aka Halloween for Hepcats).

And hello? When has hallucinatory ever been a bad thing in the cinemah?

And HELLO! Which current Hollywood director is better than Shyamalan? Michael Mann? Yeah ok. Peyton Reed? Most definitely. Luther Price? Hollywood, sweetz, Hollywood. Ok then.

Death to the well-proportioned film!

P.S. Hells yes I know what the "message" of the film is. But I ain't telling you meanies.

-- Kevin John Bozelka, Sunday, June 15, 2008 12:48 AM (19 hours ago) Bookmark Link

^^^

I was glad when the teenagers got shot

Wow. Kevin may not have persuaded me to see this movie, but that's clearly the post of the year.

Bruce LaBruce's The Happening.

Will The Happening finally be the nail in the coffin of M. Night's name-above-title auteur status? He's still trading on The Sixth Sense for his critical legacy and his commercial-draw status has been negligable at best since Signs. That's a terrible batting average so far for "the next Spielberg/Hitchcock" (gag).

im going to write a movie wherein people start spontaneously committing suicide after they read a kevin john bozelka post

RIP.

i thought this was a fine thriller. the message was very good. leguizamino was a very good math teacher, and very plausdible to toboot.

why are you all so hard on a film with such virtues, that teaches humility.

uh oh

We don't take kindly to virtues and humility round these parts.

I knew M. Night would find us eventually.

i think the message of humilty before creatiion is good. but i am not mr. shyamalan, though i would be pleased to meet him someday!

sockpuppet

that is an odd thing to say

i thought this was a fine thriller. the message was very good. leguizamino was a very good math teacher, and very plausdible to toboot.

why are you all so hard on a film with such virtues, that teaches humility.

-- morgan bostwick, Sunday, June 15, 2008 8:03 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

so is this

this filmn is about man and his presumptions of control over what he proclaims to understand. i believe the humility of attacks from nature is self-evident!

oops hahaha

i think their is a wring of truth to this hypothesis.

-- morgan bostwick, Monday, 16 June 2008 11:07 (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Man the socks aren't even trying any more.

i think their is a wring of truth to this hypothesis.

-- morgan bostwick, Monday, 16 June 2008 11:07 (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

-- wilter, Sunday, June 15, 2008 8:37 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

TIME TRAVEL???

sock puppet equivalent of The Happening

you and me are a lot alike. we both have difficulty showing our feelings.

Us mongrels are from the future, gbx!

I know jhøshea is trying to be cute (well, he doesn't have try; he just IS; yowsah, boy!!!). But actually, his post (-is-my-post-too) cuts right to the heart of the matter. Where my defense reads like a compelling argument against the film to jhøshea, s1ocki's has me frantically searching for my student ID. But while I therefore think it would be a waste of time to respond to each point (oh what the hell: without establishing, or even teasing out, clear "ground rules," the audience has no way to meaningfully connect with the narrative. - I thought the POINT of the film was the jettisoning of ground rules), I only have one question for you, s1ocki: as you run screaming from the The Happening, what film do you then run to?

RIP.

LOL. Soto, take in a matinée. If you wind up hating it, I'll burn you a copy of the recently rereleased on DVD 1936 MGM Eleanor Powell vehicle Born to Dance which starts with a bunch of tightly framed sailor licking their lips and dancing with one another and ends up with a Powell setting off a canon with her tapping (even though some jackass cuts the climax into four sloppy shots).

truthfully everything i know abt this movie points to me seeing it asap - i was just trying to be cute

why is the POINT of the film the jetisonning of ground rules and what is the POINT of that and why does that make it a STRONGER movie.

try and actually say something dude. i'd like to know what you saw in this movie beyond the fact that it goes "hither and thither," which is the only praise you seem to be giving it. the rest of your posts being pretty much all "well who cares about THIS and who cares about THAT."

english is a mother fucker, innit

Which current Hollywood director is better than Shyamalan?

Steven Spielberg is a current Hollywood director.

The funny thing is, as I'm reading this, I'm aware that I'm watching two people I know, who used to live in the same city and were at the same parties at my place, and probably don't know it (maybe they do), and here they are getting it on while I'm on the arse end of the world (bless the 'Net). That's my voyeuristic kick, movie be damned. (Though I'll take one of them there DVDs, Kevin, if you're game to send things to Middle Earth. Sounds a tasty treat).

is there any better explanation of THE PLANTS DID IT than the fact that THE PLANTS DID IT

shymalan has no use for your puny human-based desire for "interesting" or "good" art

The funny thing is, as I'm reading this, I'm aware that I'm watching two people I know, who used to live in the same city and were at the same parties at my place, and probably don't know it (maybe they do), and here they are getting it on while I'm on the arse end of the world (bless the 'Net). That's my voyeuristic kick, movie be damned. (Though I'll take one of them there DVDs, Kevin, if you're game to send things to Middle Earth. Sounds a tasty treat).

-- tvdisko, Monday, June 16, 2008 6:59 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

ha!

some lulz from the o.g. screenplay.

To be fair, sort of, The Green Effect doesn't include The Happening's most guffaw-inducing misstep: a scene in which — honest — a man kills himself by allowing a lion to bite his arms off. He then he walks around bleeding to death, like he's in a slasher movie made by high-school students, while an onlooker shrieks, "What kind of terrorists ARE these?"

that scene made me lose my shit totally

the theater was dead quiet and i was trying hard to stifle the laughter

Everything I read about this film just makes me want to see it more.

Mon dieu!

Kevin, if you're game to send things to Middle Earth.

I read that as Middle EAST so I was scratching my head something bloody trying to figure out who the hell you are (there IS one person I know in the Middle East but...same parties? huh?). Anyway, hey babe! How's that accent comin' along?

s1ocki (nice to (re?)meet you), I could go on about the POINT(s) of the film 'cept

1. All the things you deem so shitworthy about The Happening (taking you out of the film, bad acting, no suspense, whatnot) are justification enough to praise it (at least for me), esp. seeing as how those very same things are the making of countless great movies, from The Old Dark House (1932) to L'année dernière à Marienbad to (yup) Southland Tales. Ride the waves of what's actually surrounding you in the theater and leave mathematics in John Leguizamo's classroom where a2 + b2 = c2 because he told you so. We've sacrificed far too much cinema at the altar of Robert McKee.

2. If I went into THE POINT, then all the bored meanies would swoop down and have this thread for dinner. Maybe via email if we must. But come on - no ground rules? no meaningful way of connecting? That doesn't sound (feel?) familiar to you? Maybe it's because you're not living down here. Oh and speaking of which, you have no right to get snippy about ANYTHING, Mister, seeing as how you live in the greatest city (I've ever lived in) and you have Cheskie's and St. Viateur Bagel and ESPECIALLY La Banquise (poutine trois viandes mon amour!) at your disposal.

3. Again, I don't want to defend it too fervently since it's only my fourth favorite MNS. I think Manohla Dargis' NYT review here really nails it (save for her take on Deschanel's remarkable, hall of mirrors performance). I mean, it IS a goofy thriller, is it not? (And the moviegoing public IS fickle, no?) (And hey! The movie WAS "marked for failure even before it had a chance to fail — or succeed," right?)

^^^ who the fuck is this guy

kevin john bozelka, ladies and gentlemen

John Leguizamo

kevin:

1. i dunno dude; this is not supposed to be a last year at marienbad movie. i can tell MNS is trying to produce a certain effect and he's failing at it. while this may turn it into an unintentional curiosity or LOL-spawner--and to a certain extent i can see why you'd be fascinated by it, or lady in the water, which has a sort of terrible momentum of awfulness that's thrilling in its own way--i can't judge it a success. i'm still not sure what your aesthetic index is here. do you think it's the same kind of movie as "the passenger", say? if so, how does it succeed at that? what pleasure is this movie giving you, is what i mean--i'm still not sure beyond the fact that it's kinda wacky.

2. i don't really care about the point of the movie, i don't really think good movies should have points! but you are correct about rugeleh, bagels, and poutine.

Sub-Tynan

xp

this is not supposed to be a last year at marienbad movie.

Ok scratch Marienbad (and definitely The Passenger) and even Southland Tales. But The Old Dark House (1932) is a perfect analogy, a thriller that doesn't thrill or is, at best, a "goofy thriller." And that's part of the pleasure, how Whale or MNS are constantly pulling the rug out from under you. So much so, in fact, that you're not sure there was ever a FLOOR to begin with. They're chaos theorems rather than, lord knows, tight (or even effective) narratives.

In the end, then, you have to wonder how much distance there is between Marienbad and The Old Dark House. I admit it's harder to link The Happening with the former. But it's definitely inching in that direction and that's the "aesthetic index" through which I'm experiencing it.

i'm just not seeing the joyous weirdness you seem to be getting from it!

Well, there you have it. At least we agree on poutine.

LOL at Leguizamo telling Marky Mark "there's only room for one - you have to take my daughter" when said daughter is like the size of a matchstick and could have easily fit on dude's lap. Way to be a creative deadbeat dad, assfuck.

There is no way on GOD's green EARTH I am paying any amount of money to see this movie.

Smart man.

maybe worth one of those dollar Redbox rentals, but that's it

i would see it on the cheap for the potential lols.

I am desperately hoping for a Rifftrax to go along with this when I get around to renting it. Although really, it sounds like I will have some laughs even without that...

it could make some good lulz, i kinda wish I had been hammered like when I saw the halloween remake

worth pirating!

I saw "Lady In The Water" in Hungary (in Hungarian: "Lany A Vízben") and swore I'd never see another of his movies again. Then I was coerced into "The Happening," which was possibly the stupidest A-budget film I've ever seen.

GREAT iphone product placement, i LOL'd

seriously

it's just -- the premise was so lazily expanded upon, it felt like a first draft of something that could have been actually compelling.

like even when **spoiler spoiler** at the end they show the tv interview of a scientist who basically says "we found some plants have traces of the neurotoxin in them" but "we have no idea why the event was concentrated in a certain area of the northeast" -- why couldn't shyamalan identify in the specific plant that gave of the toxin, and maybe found that the plant was indigenous to the northeastern US...?

or are we supposed to believe that it is all plants ever and forever and together in a great big vegetable conspiracy, amen?

"be scientific, douchebag" indeed

obviously i am giving this far more thought than it merits

"what type of tree is that?"
"i think it's a maple."

THE CRAFT OF DIALOGUE

ya man i love crazy ideas but i want to be intrigued by them, i want a movie or book or whatever to make me want to think & wonder about them. being off-the-wall is not enough really...

what sort of shitty newfangled science class was he teaching anyway, jesus

yeah he was all, hey pretty boy, maybe bees are dying not because of any rational reason but because nature is angry? lol dont worry pretty boy you're gonna be pretty forever.

to be fair he really wasn't any worse than some of the so-called science teachers i had in high school

don't think i had one who wasn't a creationist

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/film/2008/06/acting_is_the_easiest_of_all_arts.html

KJB goes public

pretty much true but so what?

http://image.guardian.co.uk/artsblog/authorpics/ronald_bergan.jpg

was this article written by a political prisoner or something?

the amazing thing about film (and television drama) acting is that there are usually no rehearsals

a good director & editor can usually force a good performance out of an unskilled actor and vice-versa but that really doesn't mean there's no such thing as acting. in many other circumstances the performance does matter.

yeah he's talking about acting that is photographed and edited specifically tho - even steven seagal can seem brooding and intense and intelligent in this format

ya, just saying that if the director/editor doesn't have the chops to do that effectively it CAN fall on the actor.

I am desperately hoping for a Rifftrax to go along with this when I get around to renting it.

There's already two separate, multi-page threads on it in the Rifftrax forums.

what is rifftrax

mst3k dudes doing mp3 commentaries of movies

http://rifftrax.com/

this format allows them to mock all the big-budget flicks they couldn't do on the show

the guardian article is pretty much horseshit: no-one said of mosjoukine in the kuleshov experiment that he had "given a good performance" for the love of god. listing good perfs in italian neorealist films is just ehhhhhhh: you could equally list good perfs by pros, starting with, let's say, 'viaggio in italia'.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v417/albaalba/ilx/omg.gif

i hope somewhere on the web someone has or will make a .gif out of the lion scene

ya

Fuck the lion scene. IT'S ALL A LION SCENE. This film is just ... inexplicable.

This is for the lover in you.

his commercial-draw status has been negligable at best since Signs.

Just wanted to say that this is incorrect. Hate it all you want but The Village made a huge profit occasioning Lady in the Water which didn't (and this isn't even counting the home market where Hollywood makes close to 75% of its profit anyway). And The Happening is already more successful than Lady in the Water.

I just got back from this.. it is SO GODDAMNED FUNNY.

Every single one of Mark Wahlberg's line readings is like a magical pop song. Yes, the highlights have already been discussed, but bear endless repeating: "She's taken the bus to New Jersey... to the town of Princeton." / "I hear wind outside" / "I think it's a maple." I was even cracking up at Wahlberg & Deschanel's prop wedding photo... the look on his face is hilarious. Betty Buckley slapping the kid... oh, jesus, it's just a gold mine.

I may have missed something here, so before I call bullshit I should clarify: In the scene where the train breaks down in Filbert and they all go to the diner, and the guy says "we need to get 90 miles away from here" (!), everyone runs out and jumps into cars. How were their cars there?

One complaint - it seems the UK may have had some edits - the (absolutely glorious) lion attack scene pulls away before you see the lion actually attack the dude. It cuts to a reverse shot of all the actors staring at the iPhone, making preposterous faces as the sounds of chomping break out.

But yeah, I can't wait for viewing #2, hopefully a few beers in on Sky Movies in a couple of months...

Oh yeah - I forgot Betty Buckley's "Why you eyein' my lemon drink?!"

I have been thinking about this movie for 10 hours straight now.

That's what it does to you! It's extraordinary.

Mark Wahlberg seemed to me to be trying to impersonate Owen Wilson, with that half-joking tone. Most obviously in the talking to plastic plant scene. Weird indeed. Also Zooey, very odd acting, and that interaction between her and the mathS teacher in the station? What was that meant to mean?
Bits I liked:
That the kid's mother didn't come back at the end
That Mark & Zooey weren't saved due to their True Love
That Mark & Zooey weren't saved due to having Hope in the form of A Child.

We should have seen little kids topping themselves, though (preferably in hilarious cute ways). Cos I was wondering if there was any 'clue' in the fact we didn't see this.

That Mark & Zooey weren't saved due to their True Love

except that they kinda totally... were?

Not totally, no. Maybe not even at all.

(SPOILERS...if anyone cares)

By ending with The Happening happening again in Gay (and gay) Paree, MNS leaves open the distinct possibility that trad True Love and A Child will NOT save the het couple (or really any couple).

Yeah, I thought they were saved because they hid for a bit until it was 9.58am and the HAPPENING stopped happening at 9.27.

that was a twist I never saw coming, that the french weren't immune

I may have missed something here, so before I call bullshit I should clarify: In the scene where the train breaks down in Filbert and they all go to the diner, and the guy says "we need to get 90 miles away from here" (!), everyone runs out and jumps into cars. How were their cars there?

This is a good point - can anyone answer this?

I haven't seen the movie, but I believe the explanation is that MNS is lazy, sloppy and contemptuous of his audience.

Er, I thought it was the locals all diving into their cars, being joined (or not joined) by various stranded train passengers. Really, it only ranks around #47 in the list of most stupid scenes. I have a personal soft spot for the "Well, I fancy a pharmacist, so ner" relationship-crisis resolution moment between MW and ZD.

They'll be queueing round the block for fancy-dress midnight screenings of this in 15 years' time.

The first film I've seen in ages where audience participation felt required. It got me to shout "NOT IF IT'S FEBRUARY!" and "ANTARCTICA, GET TO ANTARCTICA!" as if we were all in this together.

Then came the scene with a billboard proclaiming "YOU DESERVE THIS", and I realized Night, despite his pathetic attempt with a plastic tree, doesn't remotely have a sense of humor. I was still entertained despite him.

JAAAAAAAREEEDDD

holy moly this movie's bad

omg 'meanwhile...across america'

at first i was like 'o this is just gonna be a boring piece of shit shyamalan movie' and it is but then it breaks thru. night of the lupus type shit. probably enjoying it more than incredible hulk or hancock. any ref to science be it the creationist bullshit or the 'must. remember. scientific. method.' scene in the field was some serious 'o FUCK you' stuff though.

Watching this now. 40 minutes in. This is a profoundly stupid movie.

Love the way people will identify an obvious threat, then just hang around looking at said threat until it kills them.

"It's attacking smaller and smaller groups of people!"
"Let's stay in a big group! Then we'll be safe!"

Run! Run from the breeze!

I am a scientist! See me scientise!

Man, Shymalan can't write, can he?

"Nobody's lived here for years. It's all boarded up!"
"Yes, let's break in and get some food!"

Bet that heavily telegraphed speaking tube will come in handy.

She's a mad old lady, but I bet she's full of hidden wisdom.

This can't have looked any less dumb on paper. Why did actors sign up for this.

Yep, speaking tube suddenly came in handy.

We need more insta-reviews like this.

The Rifftrax hordes are DEMANDING this.

I saw this last night. I feel like there must be a simple explanation for why every actor - EVERY ACTOR - was so goddamn terrible. The lead cast, the two women on the bench at the beginning, the sorrowful construction worker, the woman whose daughter killed herself over the phone - it's like they had a tone meeting and said "We're doing a parody of War of the Worlds, be sure to ham it up" and then Shymalan sat down in editing and said "no wait, this movie is deadly serious."

I saw this with a friend who loves Shymalan and hadn't heard how bad this one was, she was so depressed when we left. It didn't completely crush her spirit until they happened upon that ultra-convenient radio tied to a fencepost in the middle of the wilderness, like it's suddenly King's Quest and you're finding magic bowls of soup inside tree logs.

Well, that was crap sauce on a shit sandwich.

It's really hard to see how this got made. Has it bombed financially? Please, let it be so.

Trying to find out about it on IMDB, but that seems to be down. Or maybe they've firewalled it at my work. Hmm.

"All the critics are talking about it!"

Review highlights from Rotten Tomatoes:

"..incompetent and utterly gratuitous at times."
"It's hard to believe that at one time Shyamalan was being touted as the next Steven Spielberg by Newsweek magazine, but if things keep going the way they are now, Uwe Boll might end up being a better comparison. And boy is that depressing."
"This major studio release asks the question, how long can you survive on past glories? Shame on Shyamalan."
"Usually Shyamalan can hide his limitations as a screenwriter behind his skill as a director. Here, that skill fails him as well, and the whole movie falls apart."
"I'm shaking my head now like a caring teacher grading a poor assignment written by a bright student. "
"Holy Mother of God...this is awful."
"Other than its ripe possibility for mockery, I cannot think of anything that makes the film really worthwhile."
"It’s like an amusement park ride that has no reason for being -- and no meaning -- besides visceral excitation. Only difference is that The Happening isn’t fun."
"The slight premise, coupled with some very bad performances by the cast as well as a screenplay filled with ham-fisted dialogue makes for a film that's not scary and borders on being ridiculous at times."
"Maybe Shyamalan didn't mean for The Happening to be exciting and dramatic: perhaps the writer-director intended the film to be an exercise in sucking all the life and emotion out of fictional characters."

It's really hard to see how this got made. Has it bombed financially?

Sorta? "Broke even" state-side (I think the budget excludes some shit, like advertising), and made some $$$ elsewhere. But it did better than Lady in the Water, somehow.

Total cost incl. adverts are something like double, right, so yeah, looks like they made their money back.

Bizarre. The only good thing about this movie is that poster with the dead/empty cars, and that's only because I'm a sucker of apocalyptic images.

sucker FOR apocalyptic images!

I'm a sucker of apocalyptic images.

How well do you do with essences?

Should more directors take tone meetings?

Yes, it's a hit! Which means my man MNS will be back with more of his nutty genius. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Also, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Decaf.

This broke even and Children of Men didn't.

wtf

this is still in theaters somewhere?

Children of Men didn't? You're fucking kidding. That's awful.

Also, how did The Happening cost $60 million? A wind machine, Mark Wahlberg and some C-listers surely aren't that expensive.

i'm sure children of men has made money between video and international sales.

xpost

you wouldn't BELIEVE what's in zooey deschanel's rider.

$30 million in carbon offsets

$5 million gratuity to the plastic plant for its show-stopping cameo role

ok so i finally saw this movie and, um, wow? "think scientific douchebag!" was the highlight, to me.

despite reading pretty much this entire thread before seeing it, i was STILL disappointed. that's how bad it was.

yeah i mean it was bad, really bad! i could not imagine how bad, exactly. i mean, the giant dramatic climax when they all walk out into the wind, to die, but then they DON'T die because hey why not the trees have stopped murdering ppl...i mean what is that?

i know! i have such low standards for these kinds of movies, and am usually easily entertained, but this was just.... horrendous. even 'lady in the water' was more watchable.

just saw this the other day too and calm down it was fine. my highlights were 1. mark's "a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup" confession and 2. the scary old lady accusing mark of planning to murder her in her sleep and mark going "what?! nooo!" kind of like someone who WAS planning to murder her in the sleep but was a bad actor might do

oh good, "conrad" is here to tell me and the rest of ilx apparently that this laughable schlockfest was just fine, however did i survive life without your guidance previously?

sometimes i think that actors pick scripts not because they are convinced they are good, but because it is funniest to do a film like "the happening"

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hey chicken i just wanna talk to you

happy to help!

Bah. I ruined your revive. ;_;

Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals

Well, we knew it was coming:

http://download.rifftrax.com/files/imagecache/product/files/HappeningWebB.jpg

the dog in that sketch is SO. OLD.

is there a thread for SIGNS? I searched half-heartedly...

Well, we knew it was coming:

Guess what I'm watching!

"A human! Rustle your leaves at him!"
"But there is only one, stick to the protocol!"
"The ivy is right, cease the rustling!"

"If we stay here we die here."
"That's the town motto!"

saw this in blockbuster with a big sticker saying "UNCUT EDITION: SCENES TOO EXPLICIT FOR CINEMAS!!11"

wtf it's a film about plants killing people with pollen or something.... how explicit can things get?

best comedy, intentional or not, of the year. so much better / funnier / more watchable than that lady in the toilet crap

I _think_ the explicit bit is an extended scene of a man being ripped apart by a lion. Just what you wanted to see, right?

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3ic75447be81df667c73058dfa77eb4e92

M. Night Shyamalan (Getty images photo)
NEW YORK -- M. Night Shyamalan is making a deal with the "Devil."

The helmer's three-film financing/production partnership with Media Rights Capital, the Night Chronicles, is launching with the supernatural thriller "Devil."

John Erick Dowdle and Drew Dowdle will direct and executive produce a script by Brian Nelson ("30 Days of Night") based on an original Shyamalan story. The project will be the first feature Shyamalan has written or produced without directing.

No plot details were revealed, but Shyamalan will oversee all three films' development and production. TNC exec Ashwin Rajan will be responsible for identifying talent and will work closely with Shyamalan.

"Devil" heads into production next year, aiming for a PG-13 rating. The Night Chronicles features set to begin production in 2010 and 2011 will also be based on his original stories.

John Erick Dowdle recenty directed "Quarantine," an adaptation of the Spanish horror hit "Rec" he co-scripted with brother Drew.

"This is a dream for me. I wanted to find filmmakers that inspire me and I found them," said Shyamalan, who will co-own the films' copyrights with MRC and shop them for distribution.

The filmmaker, who recently experienced recent critical lambasting for his $64.5 million-grossing supernatural thriller "The Happening," is now directing the 2010 Paramount family fantasy "The Last Airbender."

pro tip: writing screenplays but not directing is the exact opposite of what he should be doing

WHAT KIND OF TERRORISTS ARE THESE?

"the helmer"

oh my god will someone just put a stop to him

pro tip: writing screenplays but not directing is the exact opposite of what he should be doing

― caek, Wednesday, October 29, 2008 3:31 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

truth bomb

haha somebody did a Wicker Man-style highlight reel of the lolsome moments:

hhahahahaa i heard about the lion scene but i had no idea it takes place on an iphone

thats... i mean.... really, what can you say

i am proud to announce that this film is officially topping my worst of 2008 list

whats the list?

highlight reel is missing I can hear wind from outside

Holy shit.

"i hear you whispering, planning on stealing something, plannign on murdering me in my sleep..."
"what? nooooooooooooooo...."

amazing

whats the list?

― Dr. Yakubius (and what), Friday, December 19, 2008 3:38 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whats the list?

― Dr. Yakubius (and what), Friday, December 19, 2008 3:38 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whats the list?

― Dr. Yakubius (and what), Friday, December 19, 2008 3:38 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whats the list?

― Dr. Yakubius (and what), Friday, December 19, 2008 3:38 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

other ones on my list... where in teh world is osama bin laden, jumper, semi-pro...

"and i'm talking abt a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup"
PEOPLE TALK LIKE THAT THX M NIGHT SHAMASTFU

oh and postal, despite being responsible for my best interview ever

i still wanna see postal

i might not have put it on the list except for the fact that watching it meant i have now seen dave foley's wang

http://www.montrealmirror.com/2008/052908/film1.html

omg lion scene

that youtube does leave a lot out, all the "there seems to be an event happening across various states" lols

yeah the movie really is completely wrongheaded in almost every conceivable way. it's easily one of the funniest flicks i've seen this year.

i started uncontrollably lolling at the scene where john leguizamo looks at the roof of the jeep and realizes OMG NO THERE'S A RIP IN THE FABRIC and how we're supposed to feel this DOOOM OH NO THE TREE WIND IS GETTING THEM, THRU THE JEEP and it's like oh what is this.

I knew this was bad but, whoa.

That's really a teaser trailer for the highlight reel.

I just netflixed postal! so excited.

Problem with worst-of lists is when you include both lulz like The Happening and mediocrities like semi-pro. Should either be all drab or all OMGWTFLOL.

Dave Foley has sunk to starring in Uwe Boll flicks? Oh, the shame.

i see you eye-in my lemon drink

Most of the lion scene was cut from the UK release. I had no idea.

watched this and The Mist over the same weekend. i went in thinking that The Mist would be the throwaway of the two but I could not have been more rong.

Problem with worst-of lists is when you include both lulz like The Happening and mediocrities like semi-pro. Should either be all drab or all OMGWTFLOL.

― da croupier, Friday, December 19, 2008 9:18 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

they were both really bad movies

if i had seen 5 movies as omgwtf as the happening this year, trust me—they'da gone on.

on the other hand, i'm sure there were five movies you saw that were less entertaining than the happening.

norbit was this year, right?

07. But Meet Dave was this year!

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/yearly/chart/?yr=2008&p=.htm

i haven't seen any of these except 21 (god, so bad), but just of the movies that made more money than the happening this year, I'll guess that The Incredible Hulk, Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor, Journey To The Center Of The Earth, You Don't Mess With The Zohan, 10,000 BC, Four Christmases, 21, What Happens In Vegas, 27 Dresses and Fool's Gold are all less watchable than The Happening. Don't reward mediocrity, slocki!

on the other hand, i'm sure there were five movies you saw that were less entertaining than the happening.

― da croupier, Friday, December 19, 2008 10:18 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's not the "least entertaining" list!

there are many flavours of bad. i tried to represent a few in my magical list. who wants to read about what happens in vegas again??

I'm also for awarding/rewarding fantastic-bad movies on worst lists rather than just forgettable, bad-bad movies.

But then again, I have no problem elevating trash in that sense.

i just put the trash in my best-of.

irrepressible!

x-post Yeah, that too. I am hopeful that Inside is as good as Nathan Lee says it is.

Inside of my refrigerator, the neglected, rotting corpses of vegetables have now rematerialized as evil ghosts, and are haunting my apartment.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29240611/

i got happened the other night

http://i28.tinypic.com/256sewy.gif

DO SCIENCE, DOUCHEBAG

that scene at the when people are jumping off buildings is probably the best scene in the film. hardly deserves to make the mix tape.

laurel, i believe it was THINK SCIENTIFIC, DOUCHEBAG!

omg

how come i never saw this tagline before

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/21/happening-poster-2.jpg

How come I never saw that terribly generic photoshop job before!

conspicuously avoiding mentioning "The Village" or "Lady in the Water"

I try to use the word "unbelievable" sparingly. This movie is unbelievable.

what kind of photoshop artists ARE THESE?

haha omar's opening post is all-time

had a lot of fun re-reading this thread.

Gear's first post = still perfect.

And from Ebert's review of MNS's news one: "The Last Airbender" is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that."

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/last_airbender/

lol

Can we finally move Shyamalan from the "Has Been" box to the "Never Was" one?

I would totally keep all of The Sixth Sense, select scenes from Unbreakable, and everything but the climax of Signs. The rest of of his career is pure garbage.

Yep. But oh man, I do hope he gets the opportunity to make garbage as sublimely ridiculous as The Happening

I still have a soft spot for Signs if only for the line "everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something"

also that shot of the alien at the birthday party

^^ only scary because of the loud BOOM in the soundtrack

that's one of the oldest, most reliable movie scare tricks in the book. can't really fault shyamalan for using it in that scene. also loved how the alien is posed liked the creature in famous patterson-gimlin bigfoot film.

it is pretty great

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czy4RjcrpFM

I'm not faulting him for it! that's just good moviemaking. It'd be like faulting Ringo Starr hitting the hi-hat right before the "na na na" part of "Hey Jude," when he is just making things 10 billion times more awesome by doing so.

" everything but the climax of Signs. "

I have a fondness for long, meandering jokes that are all setup and no payoff, but c'monnnn. Dude spends an hour setting up dominoes, let them fall.

MOVE CHILDREN! VAMANOS!

that was pretty good but I dunno why shamwow felt the need to have the TV rewind and show the alien again - that violates another rule of horror film making and that is never show the monster in detail til the end

the best part is that the tape he's used to tape over it is labeled "public access bikini sluts" or soemthing.

shymalan leans really heavily on that sudden loud noise trick, earlier in signs he pulled a "everything is quiet now DOG BARKING AT TEN TIMES THE NORMAL VOLUME ha ha."

he does it in lady in the water too, you're looking at a quiet lawn and wondering if those goddamn ridiculous scrundlefunk creatures or whatever are going to attack, and then SPRINKLERS TURN ON AT TEN TIMES THE NORMAL VOLUME ha ha.

pro tip: writing screenplays but not directing is the exact opposite of what he should be doing

― caek, Wednesday, October 29, 2008 3:31 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

truth bomb

― s1ocki, Wednesday, October 29, 2008 5:15 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

;_; http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/universal/devil/

ya.

why doesn't this guy do a movie where the twist is that it's ACTUALLY GOOD

oh man the predictable idiocy of a human vs. demon movie in the thrilling context of an elevator

who'm i kidding, totally gonna see that

me2

well, i'll netflix it at the very least

Ya think?

lol nice

he said it was horrible?

what?...no!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hksKLHt9Kzg

http://www.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/907264_o.gif

my sister and i say "what? noooooooo!" all the time now thanks to this movie.

yeah a friend and i have taken up that mantle also...

There appears to be an event happening on Channel 4 right now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8PxA6IVdYo

An attempt to claim the film as a boldly experimental success:

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/26050/looking-back-at-m-night-shyamalans-the-happening

This attempt fails.

dear god

In some senses, it's almost an anti-film

on this, we agree.....

The script here is so carefully constructed, so multi-layered and so rhythmic it's almost poetry. The fact that much of the dialogue was deemed simply ridiculous by audiences saddens me because every word feels so perfectly in place. The opening line of the film is "I forgot where I am". Anyone who's experienced depression need look no further than this beautifully crafted sentence to understand the nature of Shyamalan's vision here.

the second line of the film is "You're at the place where the killers meet to decide what to do with the crippled girl." not only is this a clumsily written line, but it's also badly delivered by the actress, and also if you're reading a book and you lose your place, how the fuck does the person sitting next to you know where you left off? two lines in and the movie is already dumb nonsense.

please say they were talking about the band The Killers

Brandon Flowers is...the Professional.

the article is so batshit that for once the comments aren't as golden, but there are some choice ones in there

i thought that article was a joke until about 3/4 of the way through.

on the plus side i'm watching the "what... nooo" clip again.

on the plus side i'm watching the "what... nooo" clip again.

― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Friday, June 21, 2013 10:40 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

lol

Was the tagline really "there appears to be an event happening"?

It pains me to this day that the tagline wasn't our own al leong's 'oh no it is happening' from the start of the thread.

oddly enough i think the article gets at some of the qualities that make it entertaining (only shyamalan i own! got it for 3 bucks-ish), but unfortunately does that stupid auteurist "AND HE MEANT TO DO THAT. ALL OF THAT." thing to an absurd degree.

I watched the clip of them watching the dude getting torn apart by lions and when the woman with the cellphone said "Mother of God, what kind of terrorists are these?" I almost hurt myself laughing so hard

This guy almost had me going that he was serious for a bit. But then that last word.

I watched the clip of them watching the dude getting torn apart by lions and when the woman with the cellphone said "Mother of God, what kind of terrorists are these?" I almost hurt myself laughing so hard

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rO8U6vh1Igo/T3NVuj21emI/AAAAAAAALuw/QvBncaiDwTY/s1600/Ohne%2BTitel-173.jpg

I haven't seen that film but the article makes me want to.

the stuff about it being an inversion of B-movie disaster tropes is pretty good "I *meant* to do that" slight of hand, but it breaks down the farther he goes with it

also you should totally see this kyle it is breathtaking

i just find those "this b-movie with some interesting qualities was made by THE GAMEMASTER" articles so absurd. Like yeah, Starship Troopers has some neat references to fascist iconography but don't tell me the director of The Hollow Man casting Denise Richards was part of a grand plan or whatever. Any take on this kind of movie that doesn't acknowledge how many non-auteurist elements factor into production is just idiotic fantasizing.

ya except you're wrong about starship troopers

you picked the like one example in history when this actually is true

Yeah, barking up the wrong tree there.