007: LICENCE TO POLL

Still torn.

But I can categorically state that my shortlist features no Roger Moore movies.

From Russia With Love - great Cold War atmospherics, twisty plot, ridiculously tense Orient Express showdown, gypsy women knife fighting over Bond, KILLER SHOE.

Also Daniela Bianchi = top 3 hottest Bond girls ever, Robert Shaw = awesome, Lotte Lenya = Lotte Lenya

be apprised: there will be hottest girl/baddest bad guy, etc., later.

I think we've done a Theme Song poll. I seem to recall getting mad arsey cos "You Only Live Twice" didn't win.

The only one i like all the way through is Goldfinger. Most of them are a bunch of action sequences without any effort put into connecting them.

http://i10.glitter-graphics.org/pub/1/1140r4teg1tiai.gif

Sorry chap, but the gypsy women are fighting over who gets to marry the chief's son, not over Bond. Excellent scene though, particularly as it's followed by the even more excellent-er gunfight/brawl/battle between the gypsies and the Bulgars.

"Never Say Never Again" beats the shite out of "Octopussy" - they were released the same year and it's amazing how they stack up against each other.

"Die Another Day" has to come somewhere near the bottom, it's really more like one of those "quiz" DVDs - "which Bond movie is referenced by this scene/prop/character name?"

i have a soft spot for 'octopussy', just from seeing it a lot as a kid, one of those things. it's kind of racist, iirc.

the bits in germany are deece though.

Sorry chap, but the gypsy women are fighting over who gets to marry the chief's son, not over Bond.

My mistake. The music in that scene is phenomenal.

we did this 3 or 4 months ago for sure

yeah, well.

pierce brosnan was so rubbish

You think his acting's bad? Just have a look at his painting skills!

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f223/joegood/main-painting-26.jpg

nice portrait of ron perlman there

This was hard - 'You Only Live Twice' for me...

goldeneye had everything... hot chicks with awesome accents, a corrupt russian general, high tech helicopters, sean bean, technobabble that ages terribly ('we need 25 computers with pentium processors and 14.4 modems!'), exploding trains, joe don baker, a gigantic satellite dish falling on top of a guy, etc etc

I'm torn between On Her Majesty's Secret Service, From Russia with Love, and the latest Casino Royale.

I just spent 5 minutes trying to find an image of Goldeneye N64 with the DK cheat turned on, so I could try to make a funny. I give up.

It's all about the song, people. Therefore: Shirley Bassey sings Goldfinger wins in a walk.

we will poll theme songs. we will poll soundtracks. all will be polled.

(xxpost) searching on YouTube for "goldeneye dk" brings up a couple of example videos - basically, everybody's head is big.

license to kill was an excellent spectrum game. a view to a kill however was terrible :(

http://www.worldofspectrum.org/showscreen.cgi?screen=screens/load/v/gif/ViewToAKillA.gif
http://ftp.worldofspectrum.org/pub/sinclair/screens/in-game/v/ViewToAKillA.gif

That last Moore one was really bad,

GOLDEN GUN GOLDEN GUN GOLDFINGER GOLDEN GUN GOLDEN GUN GOLDEN GUN FOR YOUR EYES ONLY GOLDEN GUN GOLDEN GUN GOLDEN GUN

from russia

so good.

Now I imagine you singing that as the theme song.

"From Ruuuusssssia, so goooooood..."

I'd probably have to vote for From Russia as well for having the best ensemble cast, easy. I don't think any other Bond film actually balances the unavoidable predominance of Bond himself with the others around him. Pedro Armendariz alone, what a performance -- especially since he knew he was dying of cancer, was in terrible pain throughout the film and killed himself after his work was completed. But you'd never know it at all from his work on the screen.

especially since he knew he was dying of cancer, was in terrible pain throughout the film and killed himself after his work was completed. But you'd never know it at all from his work on the screen.

!

It's really impossible for me to choose between From Russia With Love and On Her Majesty's Secret Service, but the goggles sealed it.

http://download.videoegg.com/gid344/cid1112/XT/58/1187443232xgzw5kCmBtUKPSX3ccQT_thumbnail.jpg

Gonna have to go with James Blonde, tho I hope You Only Live Twice and The Living Daylights get repped here. This poll might prompt an overhaul of my netflix queue.

The Living Daylights

An underrated fave of mine, along with For Your Eyes Only, both of which confirm that John Glen was a perfectly sufficient Bond director (pity the other three he handled were saddled with their own problems).

say Live and Let DIIIIIIE

but barbara bach's breasts at the end of The Spy Who Loved Me are vote-worthy in their own right.

From Russia with Love. Love Shaw's character, and the fight scene in the train cabin between him and Connery.

conventional wisdom says 'from russia' is best because it wasn't all about bloated set-pieces then. i may vote 'thunderball' in protest (plus the girl in that -- domino -- be like damn).

DIE ANOTHER DAY (CRAP)

If it didn't have a lair made of ice it even would have been worse.

Totally From Russia With Love. Robert Shaw might be my favorite Bond bad guy - its either him or Odd Job.

http://www.bondmovies.com/henchmen/oddjob.jpg

v.

http://www.bondmovies.com/henchmen/grant.jpg

Necros is pretty great what with listening to The Pretenders all the time and being Gary Numan

Goddamn, you're right about that last part.

If history had been different and Timothy Dalton made A View to a Kill opposite Grace Jones and Christopher Walken...

stop it, Ned.

http://www.bondmovies.com/henchmen/nicknack.jpg

Nick Nack!

is die another day really even more awful than tomorrow never dies? because jesus christ

I always thought that Tomorrow Never Dies was the best of the Brosnan Bonds, next to GoldenEye, though I haven't seen either in several years.

Die Another Day is probably the nadir of the franchise.

DAD is the postmodern bond that had to happen eventually. I just watched it, I think they managed to make a scene quote from each of the previous 19 in it. Honestly though I'm not sure if it's the worst IMO.

After this poll is done we're taking everything that gets 0 votes and holding 007: DIE ANOTHER DUD.

oh and I finally made my vote and my vote was YOLT

the worst bond is the one with Denise Richards

Tomorrow Never Dies wasn't ALL bad - anything with a cackling megalomaniac Jonathan Pryce cannot even be in the running for being compared with Die Another Day which was just horrendous.

xpost - that's Denise Richards NUCLEAR PHYSICIST! Also called Christmas Jones just to set up excruciatingly bad pun.

those 3 brosnan flicks after Goldeneye were all pretty bad, the first two being additionally interchangeable. View To A Kill might be worse than any of them, despite Christopher Walken, San Francisco, and Duran Duran.

so I think we're going to have to break down the girl polls by the three archetypes 'cause otherwise it'll be huge

1. the ones that die that are evil
2. the ones that die that are not evil
3. the ones he bangs during the closing credits

except that's still tricky because about half the hench-girls turn sides by the time they die, so are they evil or not? God dammit.

Donald Pleasence to take the Blofeld poll in a walk, am I right?

also this is a dude who really knows how to do some fucking in a rubber raft at sea

Best Fuck poll

Can't wait for the Villain Sidekick poll, when I get to choose between Jaws, Oddjob, Tee Hee, and Nick Nack.

er, henchmen

I voted Casino Royale last night and now I want to change my mind.

View To A Kill might be worse than any of them, despite Christopher Walken, San Francisco, and Duran Duran

haha these are the exact reasons WHY view to a kill is the winner, maybe not san francisco all that much.

view to a kill is soooo sloooow. nonetheless i've seen it a whole shitload of times.

casino royale the new one? ah come on. terrible last half hour spoils it completely.

From Russia With Love is my favourite for all the reasons listed above, and mainly Robert Shaw.

i have a soft spot for goldeneye too, mainly because of the N64 game, and licence to kill was much more interesting pliotwise than most other bonds.

yes, i said pliotwise damn you.

I don't think the last half hour of Casino Royale is terrible, it's just a bit of a flawed attempt to film the plot of the book. As a fan of the book I can live with it, but I thought at the time it'd look clunky to people who hadn't read it. I'm more bothered with the dude explaining the rules of poker to the audience via Eva Green during the casino scenes.

that last half hour might have worked better as the opening of the next film than the closing of the last one. Either way, it's essential to his character and at the core of the (new) series. and it sets up the next one as a revenge piece.

Oh come on, the last half hour was absolutely vital to the plot! The film is the story of how Bond came to be quite so cold and jaded. Also, the last couple of minutes of the film are beyond amazing.

I hope the next one turns out to be better than the last Bond revenge film (I'm sure it will).

It's not that it isn't vital to the plot, it's just difficult to accomodate within the rhythm of yr conventional action movie.

possibly- i was really enjoying it as a crash-bang action film with lots of style- the melodrama just didn't fit what had come before.

i haven't read the book though.

it's just difficult to accomodate within the rhythm of yr conventional action movie.

That's what made it interesting. I liked the lovey-dovey lull before the denoument, it wrong-footed me.

I read CR when I was 13 or 14, and it that context it was mind-blowing.

The Living Daylights is my favorite Bond film, also possibly the one that had the largest drop in quality between it and the following film?

yeah speaking as someone who never read the book the last half hour's still fantastic.

xpost

i need to rescreen 'licence to kill'. i never much liked the stuff in mexico at the big secret base, but there's some pretty dece stuff earlier i think. it's pretty nasty, some of it.

was it Daylights or Licence to Kill in which Dalton played the Bond role waaay too seriously and over acted the whole thing?

Donald Pleasence to take the Blofeld poll in a walk, am I right?

Either him or Telly Savalas

Dalton played both too seriously, but the latter film even more so. Even "Daylights" has it's over serious moments - like during the sniper scene when Bond asks Sauders to "bring the chair", a simple request but you can almost hear Dalton grinding his teeth as he says it! This is topped for inappropriate over seriousness in LTK, when Bond resigns, M actually having the perfect put-down in "This isn't a gentlemen's club".

dalton's deathly serious psychopath bond is streets ahead of moore's fop.

i would agree that dalton is better than roger moore, but moore's bond films had better plots. dalton's bond v scaramanga would have been uhmazin'.

Agree with the last two posts. Right Bond, wrong era.

license to kill has sharks and explosive decompression and robert davi and wayne newton. it is the finest of the bond films.

it will be interesting to see whether the results will differ much from when I did the exact same poll a few months ago!

The one with Miryam D'abo in, and where Dalton says things are turning "Nasteh"

I'd disagree with Dalton being better than Moore. Dalton's grim faced Bond fits the grim faced events of his films. But there's a lot more to Moore's Bond than "left eyebrow raised" / "right eyebrow raised". Only Moore's Bond could kick the shite out of two KGB thugs [at the pyramids in "Spy"], then quip "hope you enjoyed the show". Arguably Connery's Bond could as well, but there would be a certain tension in the voice there - only Moore could say it as though he was calmly ordering a martini.

Favourite Moore moment (from LALD, in which he's actually quite suave): he's chilling with Domino, when two blaxploitation thugs turn up and are all like; "Take the honkey out and waste him". As they lead him out of the door at gunpoint, he turns to Domino and casually says "Shan't be a minute."

think u mean solitaire, not domino (would smash both obv).

license to kill has sharks and explosive decompression and robert davi and wayne newton. it is the finest of the bond films.

-- adam, Monday, 11 February 2008 16:41 (2 hours ago) Link

^^ my kind of post

where is the other bond poll people are complaining about?

it happened in may. i actually made the second post to it, but a lot happens in a year.

Only Moore's Bond could kick the shite out of two KGB thugs [at the pyramids in "Spy"], then quip "hope you enjoyed the show". Arguably Connery's Bond could as well, but there would be a certain tension in the voice there - only Moore could say it as though he was calmly ordering a martini.

-- snoball, Monday, 11 February 2008 18:14 (Yesterday) Link

the real problem with moore is that he is pathetically unconvincing while beating up those KGB agents (or anyone else). it doesn't matter how calm his voice is after, you just don't belive he's able to do it.

i'm convinced austin power's 'judo chop' is based on moore's fight scenes as bond.

Where is Quantum Of Solace band?

(xpost) Moore's fight scenes are a bit hit and miss [excuse the pun]. The rooftop fight with Shandor [sp?] in "Spy" is good. The glass factory fight with Chang in "Moonraker" is excellent, while the cable car fight with Jaws in the same movie is ridiculous.

Also the fight in the dancer's dressing room in "The Man With The Golden Gun" is pretty good as well.

regardless of individual fight scenes (i can't rememeber most of them, tbh) moore is the only bond i've ever watched and thought -"yeah, i could take him".

are you sure?

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/MG/201410.jpg

woody would cut me to pieces with muttered asides.

i'd let ursula andress beat me up.

(xpost) You forgot Daliah Lavi...

Also, you wouldn't have watched him, as it was on the radio, but could you take Bob Holness?

Pretty sure I could take him now.

Thank you, boys, but I'll bet you can't take me:

http://splinteredsunrise.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/winton_dale_pub.jpg

(xpost) Try Barry Nelson ["Jimmy Bond" in the American TV version from 1954] - he's been dead for a year.

Wasn't Winton's mother an extra in Dr. No or something?

take bob, dude

when this poll gets only 12 votes I'm going to be aggravated

I let myself be blinded by Casino Royale love in the end, mainly because it most reminds me of reading the books as a teenager. But I probly should have voted one of the Connery movies. You Only Live Twice wins Best Score, anyway.
-- Noodle Vague, Wednesday, May 2, 2007 8:18 AM (9 months ago) Bookmark Link

I voted Casino Royale last night and now I want to change my mind.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, February 11, 2008 1:43 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

lol consistency

Anyway thanks to the ILX Poll system I should be able to throw in a vote for From Russia or YOLT or OHMSS as well, if I could make my mind up.

if it makes you feel better I voted for Casino Royale yesterday and now that I'm in the middle of a James Bond marathon (thanx to you assholes) I kinda want to change my mind too.

I forgot how many things are awesome in TSWLM. just watched again for the first time in a long time. whoever said whatever it was they said about barbara bach's bosoms during the climax completely OTM. also I forgot about where jaws fights a shark and wins. man I love jaws.

they really raised their game after 'man with the golden gun'. i love that it's the same as 'you only live twice' also.

When someone's behind you on skis at forty miles an hour trying to put a bullet in your back, you don't always have time to remember a face.

'for your eyes only' might be the most overlooked bond.

fuck i need to get these on dvd. good thing i don't have a girlfriend.

yeah it's almost as if all the late seventies and early eighties bond villains found a trove of old moleskines previously belonging to an E.S. Blofeld in a bin somewhere and decided to try adapting the ideas contained therein to a series of new-school schemes. *scratches chin*

I already have the FYEO OST on CD, need to get all the tracks for YOLT, DAF and TSWLM - I love the bad synthy italo takes on barry's stuff. after TLD the soundtracks all went down the plumbing. very sad.

pretty sure the last poll used diebold machines. View to a Kill and DAD got more votes than FYEO. wtf was going on last may?

Some gazillionaire must have gotten control of a device that can manipulate our poll results! Is that possible?

Let's prepare for war with the communists just in case.

dude our fight is with donald pleasance not the commies.

I 'ad that Blofeld in the back of me cab once. Nice bloke. Lot of good ideas.

licence to kill is on tv.

it's pretty crazy that when m makes bondd hand over his badge and gun, bond fights his way out. he could have walked out, and, you know, bought a gun somwhere else. plus mi6 try to kill him! usually when bond has a personal vendetta m turns a blind eye. political correctness gone mad.

lol sanchez has a lizard, instead of a cat.

I think you're the only one actually watching this. I've seen most Bond movies over and over again but I've only seen LTK twice. I'm put off mainly by Dalton's performance - it's like watching a man clench his jaw for two hours.

it's not that bad, though for some reason it feels more racist-y than most bonds. i'm not even quite sure why sanchez decided to mortally wound but not kill felix and kill his wife. not good business.

it probably suffers from lack of variety with the locations -- no big contrasts between florida, 'isthmus city', mexico. plus the pre-credits isn't separate enough -- that's been a growing trend, but in this case it flows straight into the film.

i think dalton and the american woman are good though. he's a lot better than brosnan anyway, and they should have stuck with him. the six-year gap between this and 'goldeneye' was hella long -- they could have cranked out a couple more in that time.

Almost felt like a necessary pause for breath, really, that six-year gap. Admittedly with Brosnan as the replacement it might as well have been a sixteen year gap...

i think the series had trouble adjusting -- not just to glasnost but the new style of high concept action movie. 'licence to kill' looks pretty lame next to 'die hard'. to be honest, it looks pretty lame next to an episode of 'miami vice', and because dalton was trying to be the realest motherfucker out, there aren't many lolbond bits to compensate.

brosnan deteriorated real fast, but 'goldeneye' was pretty dece by 1995 standards of action movie. the opening jump still be like damn

Goldeneye was pretty good.

N64 game even better!

true fact: my apartment used to be jaws' house

damn, they showed the wavecrest guy explode in the pressure chamber, at 6pm. this film was rated 15 in the cinemas.

and bang go your bourgeois preconceptions

they didn't show sanchez on fire, at the end, or benicio del toro getting minced. so it's okay.

felix's bride was kinda young for him.

anti-cougar

well, it's been fun liveblogging this; i think i'll go and gas myself now.

Between LTK and Goldeneye there's Die Hard 2 and 3, and "True Lies", all three of which bring the lols that are seriously missing from LTK, while at the same time upping the action a few notches.

Save money on your gas bill - it's Thunderball next week.

For Your Eyes Only was the first I saw at the big screen (drive-in) so it holds a special place for me. It has always felt like the last in line before the quality took a marked drop.

Plus, there are great snow/battle scenes that predate the need for a snowboard or other extreme sports references.

A guy on skis beating a bunch of guys with spike-tired motorcycles is pretty rad.

And you know the Dove is a villain because of his horrible octagonal glasses...

watching Dalton in LTK tonight was almost as painful as watching Sean Bean in anything.

Why was Lewis Collins never cast as a Bond?

LOL at the wheelie-truck in LTK!

i'm gonna start a campaign to ban anyone who votes for Diamonds are Forever.

It's got exactly 4 things going for it:
1. the song
2. Jill St. John (i'm including her wardrobe here)
3. a secret underground passageway with phony desert entrance that looks cheap and kind of shitty but is something I've always dreamed of having.
4. shot of a laughing elephant (that's how much I'm reaching here)

These things are all tits, yes, but in the context of DAF (terrible Bond acronym) I can only assume they were purely accidental and helped foil the filmmakers' subversive plot to destroy the franchise.

Tonight I'm watching TSWLM (that's an acronym), so pumped!

in DAF, there's a blooper when he's driving the moon unit through the desert - one of the cars chasing him crashes and blows up, and a tire that's rather obviously just fallen off of bond's ridiculous vehicle rolls into the frame from the wrong direction. but anybody who doesn't count mr. wint and mr kidd among the top henchmen in the series is kidding themselves. and Willard Whyte!

also I just watched FRWL in its entirety FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER FINALLY and it is definitely beautiful but I don't think it's my number one.

The problem with Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd is that they talk.

cosmo otm, fuck that film.

fuck you.

also I just watched FRWL in its entirety FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER FINALLY

That took you long enough!

technical difficulties

TOMBOT OTM, Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd are pretty much the best.

TRIVIA! Mr. Wint is Crispin Glover's DAD!

haha I knew he looked like somebody

My rankning:

***** Goldfinger (1964)
Plusses: Connery Bond gets funny, best surprises and suspense, Pussy Galore, Oddjob and hat, "No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die,"'60s pop feel, gold painted woman, opening teaser ("shocking"), Aston Martin with guns, John Barry score and Shirley Bassey theme song. Minuses: Lags in middle.

***** From Russia With Love (1963)
Plusses: Connery Bond pre-funny, another great John Barry score, lots of suspense, great locations, Daniela Bianchi second sexiest Bond girl, Robert Shaw villain, Pedro Armendariz as Turkish agent, gypsy girl knife fight, classic wrong wine scene and everything on the train. Minuses: less humor than future Bonds.

****1/2 Casino Royale (2006)
Plusses: Daniel Craig Bond who need suit bought for him, stunning parkour opening, best card scenes, plausible love story, Eva Green Bond girl who procures the suit, Jeffrey Wright Felix, cool look and casting, ingenious and conscientious revisionism of book and series. Minuses: overlong, and Judi Dench's M still has nothing to do.

****1/2 The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Plusses: Classic opening sequence on slopes, Roger Moore looking good, beautiful production, Barbara Bach as first feminist-era Bond girl, "Jaws," underwater car driving up on beach. Minuses: Moore lacks Connery's menace.

**** Dr. No (1962)
Plusses: Young Connery low-key, Ursula Andress all-time great Bond girl, nice sharp look, Jamaican locations, Byron Lee in one scene, "Bond, James Bond," John Barry surf-guitar 007 theme, tarantula on the pillow. Minuses: I can't remember much else, let alone the title character.

***1/2 On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Plusses: Would have been the best Bond without George Lazenby playing him--great plot from one of the best books, signs of real emotion, Diana Rigg first Bond girl he marries, Telly Savalas Blofeld, intense ski chases. Minuses: George Lazenby.

***1/2 You Only Live Twice (1967)
Plusses: Connery having fun in '60s Japan, Wonka-esque sets, anti-Cold War plot, Donald Pleasance Blofeld, ninja army, Nancy Sinatra/Lee Hazelwood theme song. Minuses: More cheesy than funny or thrilling, paving way for Austin Powers.

***1/2 Thunderball (1965)
Plusses: Connery still cool in mid-'60s, with harpoon. Minuses: Overlong, underwater, cheesy FX, and I barely remember anything else.

*** For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Plusses: Moore Bond given more realistic espionage plot, kicks that car, another good ski chase, mountain location for the climax, Carole Bouquet Greek Bond girl with crossbow, great poster (legs and crossbow), Sheena Easton theme song. Minuses: Cheesy '80s look, dud of a skating champion Bond girl, Moore looking tired.

*** Never Say Never Again (1983)
Plusses: Connery back, cool look, non-series production. Minuses: Can't remember any standout action, and why remake Thunderball?

*** Octopussy (1983)
Plusses: Moore hits stride in transcendently silly Bond from title on down, shooting out the top of that railing post while sliding down. Minuses: so fluffy I've forgotten everything but having a good time.

**1/2 GoldenEye (1995)
Plusses: The first meta-Bond, "Cold War relic," Judi Dench as M, Pierce Brosnan's promising debut, better cinematography, a dynamite free-falling pre-credit sequence, Famke Janssen Bond girl. Minuses: cheesy Russian villain, lame jokes, and downhill after the opening.

**1/2 The Living Daylights (1987)
Plusses: Timothy Dalton "serious" Bond pretty compelling right out the gate, great airplane sequence. Minuses: Dalton doesn't have much else to replace the missing humor with, and rest is mostly forgettable.

**1/2 Moonraker (1979)
Plusses: Moore looking good, zero-gravity sex, Jaws again, plus I have a soft spot for this as my first Bond film. Minuses: Stupidity overload, and complete passage into parody.

**1/2 Live and Let Die (1973)
Plusses: Title song by Paul McCartney, Louisiana settings, Yaphet Kotto as straight villain, Jane Seymour Bond girl, some decent action. Minuses: Dreary look, by-the-numbers plot, forgettable overall.

**1/2 Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Plusses: Brosnan getting better, an ex-files backstory, Michelle Yeoh Bond girl. Minuses: Another lame villain, and pretty routine.

**1/2 The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Plusses: Handsome look and production, Brosnan at his most assured. Minuses: Lots of flat dialogue, Denise Richards as nuclear scientist in shorts.

** License to Kill (1989)
Plusses: Timothy Dalton still good, Robert Davi as memorable drug kingpin, Benicio Del Toro as bodyguard, Talisa Soto one of the sexier Bond girls. Minuses: Lameness abounds, with cheesy look, grim plot, lame humor, and bad acting.

*1/2 Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Plusses: Connery nominally present onscreen. Minuses: Everything else, from cheesy look to unfunny one-liners and homophobia.

* Die Another Day (2002)
Plusses: "London Calling" on soundtrack, North Korean sequence. Minuses: Everything else. Cheesiest Brosnan Bond, loud, lame, filled with embarrassing digital FX and wasted stars.

Haven't seen: The Man with the Golden Gun (1975), A View to a Kill (1985), or Casino Royale (1967)

Minuses: Lags in middle.

So OTM -- there's that whole stretch in Goldfinger that's nothing but cars slowly driving around to and from the garbage dump/car compacting bit. The music's hyperactive to disguise the fact that NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System sounds like a good 007 macguffin

http://www.bondmovies.com/qbranch/moviegadgets/atac.jpg

There needs to be a poll for lamest prop in a Bond movie:

Gogol: "So, I see you have the ATAC console with you, Mister Bond"
Bond: "No, HA HA HA!!! It's really an old cash register! Fooled you!"

ya ppl should pitch in with bond-related poll concepts to keep up mo.

which one are we doing next, anyway?

best kill; best locations; best gadget; best usage of Maud Adams

Best pre-credits set-piece.

i voted thunderball, although that's probably because it was the first connery one i saw (had already seen live and let die), and i was a kid and the whole thing seemed so cool.

(i have not even seen the new one. i know i should.)

Best pre-credits set-piece.

Gotta go with Goldeneye on that one.

We did best theme song? Best Bond girl?

Actually, I mean best opening credits on that.

Best pre-credits: tie between Goldfinger and Spy Who Loved Me

think tombot mentioned it upthread: the tricky thing is to categorize the girls. could just lump 'em all in together, but there's usually a good girl, and the bad guy's girl who he turns. but then some films have just one girl (the living daylights, where i suppose she's technically the bad guy's girl), and casino royale had three? so clarity is what we need here.

anyway, us bombs flyin' overhead: it's 'thunderball' this afternoon.

I always forget what a convincing thug Connery is until I see him leathering the shit out of some guy.

arguably the weakest pre-cred sequence ever there.

rik van nutter -- rly tho

Ah man the water-spraying car was straight lulz.

"mmm, yes, very practical."

Thunderball probably doesn't have the best pre-credits sequence, but it's still good, and in 1965 would have been a major kick in the arse.

The song is kinda overly histrionic maybe.

Big love for Adolfo Celi.

bahaha asylum seekers do-gooders used as cover for SPECTRE.

great train robbery -- contemporary reference, cheers.

lol sexual harrassment

Would smash tho.

lol perks of Bupa.

he kind of walked into that hardsonning.

I'm veeeerrry late to this, but I want to say a kind word about The Living Daylights, which I saw a few days ago and is by far the best of the series between TSWLM and Casino Royale; it rests comfortably in the second tier of Bond films. And Dalton the best Bond between Connery and Craig.

Echoing Alfred, except it's 'best between For Your Eyes Only and Casino Royale,' thanks very much.

elaborate way to dispose of a body, that.

Why do SPECTRE persist in sending ineffectual trainees to sort out Bond?

In your Vulcan stealin your bombz

For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy, Never Say Never Again, A View to a Kill -- all blur together in a haze of comb-overs and repartee worthy of "Hart to Hart."

Why wasn't Grace Jones ever cast as Bond?

Why do SPECTRE persist in sending ineffectual trainees to sort out Bond?

-- Noodle Vague, Saturday, February 23, 2008 3:34 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

eject PLANK blofeld and his CAT.

There was really no need to cut that guy's air-hose, was there?

HANDLE LIKE EGGS

lol "handle like eggs"

^^^ ODB ripped that gag

It's murder camping underwater...

he wanted $150,000 more and would have got in the way.

Largo's crew is so gay.

momus be navigatin'

probably blasphemous to say this, but Celi looks like a v v serious Peter Kay

Time for GADGETZ

didn't see that coming!

woah SPECTRE eating its own.

SPECTRE bad-girl = quite hot

dude fucked up by picking a character from a Brotherhood of Man song - "we do not tolerate failure in this society", etc..

WTF is up with people mispronouncing chorizo, btw?

John Simms in unconvincing voice over action

i think this has maybe the hottest girls of all bond films.

think he just zinged roy jenkins?

Nah I am still all about Daniella Bianchi and Eva Green.

xpost

OK was trying to work out who was Home Sec in 65?

better idea for Duran Bond theme song (and title): "Vertigo (Do the Demolition)."

Hooray it's a big map - drink a shot

ew "watersports"

Moneypenny on the homoerotic tip there.

Damn I don't remember Lois Maxwell looking that mumsy so early on.

o hai, i was just stalking you.

(xxxxxxpost) Sir Frank Soskice - didn't look anything like the actor playing the HS in TB

frank's son's dog is my dog's mum.

/canine suzy

Dale Winton's mum there...

Largo more like Butthurto amirite?

"wheat ala bonk", "unfriendly shoe", etc.

Ouch, pwned at Baccarat.

weird "buying a drink" etiquette -- don't they have table service?

lol crowded dancefloor

I prefer the NSNA version of Largo - Celi is trying too hard to all sinister. NSNA Largo looks a bit like Graham Norton though...

does Bond not recognise Leiter following him around cos he looks different in every movie?

more tactical ineptness from the SPECTRE goon there

he's going to pay for that mistake

YES sharkage imminent

largo kisses his own ring.

Those were like Nurse sharks or something.

tactical ineptness from CIA ("lol I just used ur codename"), and firearm safety much James?

proto-90s midriffage from bond's assistant there.

Q moaning about getting sent on a company jolly to the Bahamas.

"I've brought exactly all the shit you're going to need to survive and complete yr mission." CHEER UP YOU MISERABLE CNUT

^^^ I thought Q liked fishing? He built himself that rocket boat in DAD.

"aqualung(tm) rebreather"

lol toupee

we should poll "best scene in which bond discovers his hotel room has been bugged/fucked with." happens in basically every single one.

Leiter played by Adam Faith.

lol at Bond's "inconspicuous" orange wetsuit and white tanks

"Best scene in which Bond gets shot at with a harpoon"

Isn't Largo's main henchman a baddie in tons of Bond movies?

"at least you won't have to swim ashore" -- nice comeback, not.

what's her gameplan here? drive really fast? weird.

Is Leiter's dialogue overdubbed or something? Either way this guy is probably the worst Leiter.

"I shall kill him. May have to bone him first, like."

xpost - Yeah, shit prettyboy. Also lol at CIA following Bond's orders. Actor's name is Rik van Nutter so maybe he is Dutch and dubbed or sump'n.

dayum. all i'm saying.

(xxpost) foreshadowing of the Ourumov/Xenia partnetship.

"what do you do Vargas?"
d/l pr0n by the gigabyte by the looks of it...

haha

After the News?!?!?

ITV PLANKS

And you can fuck off too moneyexpert.com smugster

Apparently Vargas was only in this Bond but that dude was a villain in the Avengers, Champions, Doctor Who etc etc etc is why he's so familiar

(xpost) they do this every week - like anyone watches ITV news anyway...

damn ed milliband is an ugly motherfucker.

some doncaster inbred just picked her nose WHILST BEING INTERVIEWED by local news

surreal moment - Antony Hopkins unveiling a statue of Tommy Cooper...

Yeah, his impression made me lol, just a little.

YES CHRIS EUBANK CAR INSURANCE AD

Best running commentary on a film in a bit. (That I know every frame helps.)

Polish nuclear physicist played by Alan Bennett.

I'm going to miss the end 'cause I have to go and cook some kippers...

More sharkage imminent.

Speaking of kippers.

Least imposing sharks evah.

Alotta Fagina moment.

black guys dressed as british colonial troops on parade or something?

ooh, meta

"I was faking it" was cold, but she came back pretty strong.

she is like him -- she had to bonk italian guy for the greater good.

I think Bond was kind of rattled by her jabbing at his vanity. Neat mirror of when he wound up Largo in the casino.

Carnival chase scene was dope, genuinely tense.

awk-warrrrrd

How the fuck did the bullet go between his fingers?

that was pretty fucked-up right there.

I love the casual wildlife doc moment with the Manta Ray.

"First time I've tasted women" O_o

lol harpwned

weak judo chop

miami is a pretty small target -- population under 1m in 1965 i would have thought.

Proximity to the Bahamas tho.

Largo looking a bit rapey there.

lol he looks like momus lol

Actually the Polish scientist looks like George off of Drop the Dead Donkey.

To be honest I don't know how anyone can diss Diamonds Are Forever but rate this one.

Underwater shootout = shootout in space in Moonraker

lol he looks like momus lol

-- DG, Saturday, February 23, 2008 5:34 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i did this already

To be honest I don't know how anyone can diss Diamonds Are Forever but rate this one.

-- Noodle Vague, Saturday, February 23, 2008 5:39 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

domino. that's about the size of it.

lol Felix is so gay for Bond.

xpost

She's cute but Bambi and Thumper be like GODDAMN

Bond's wetsuit over shorts thing looks like a Babygro.

underwater fite so boring

this music great though -- used better in 'YOLT'

Mrs V just said too much underwater shit in this movie.

lol harpoon bouncing off shark

hey there's that guy that looks like momus again

The mini-subs just remind me of the awesome level in Tomb Raider 3 where you have to use one.

If I was the US coastguard I wd NOT be sailing straight into the path of potential oncoming nuke.

are you watching thunderball?

that really slowly-paced underwater battle kinda kept it from being on my bond shortlist

lol the t-shirts on the henchmen look like they say "MY DISCO VOLANTE" lol. none more gay.

this is the part where momus goes bezerk

lol WWII ack-ack gun appearing

xpost yeah I noticed the t-shirts.

Polish guy: "He's gone mad!" DUDE HE STOLE TWO BIG FUCKING BOMBS AND AIMED THEM AT MIAMI

haha they've sped up the film to make the boat look faster.

Blofeld is gonna be mad pissed about this snafu.

NICE

pwn3d

dude seriously this is the hottest bond girl

lol at sped up back projection

haha they've sped up the film to make the boat look faster

Makers of Speed 2 would've been well advised to look at this strategy.

nice B17 there

that really slowly-paced underwater battle kinda kept it from being on my bond shortlist

-- ciderpress, Saturday, February 23, 2008 5:50 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"underwater fights are like the drum solos of movies."

xxxxpost

She's kinda squinty tho.

lol Connery crotch-shot

lol Mile High Club

Harry Hill I love you but stfu dude.

"If you enjoyed that Bond film, you'll hate Harry bloomin' Hill..."

In summary: not the best Bond ever but sweet location work and kinda enjoyably rugged and straight-faced.

"You Only Live Twice" is on next Saturday. "You can watch it all on TV. It's likely to be the last programme you'll ever see."

It's my wedding anniversary next Saturday, don't think we've got Bond flick scheduled in.

Well it's appropriate as Bond gets married in it. Oh, hang on though...
"Think again please, you gave false name to priest"

My absolute fave title tune, existential koan lyrics and stereotypical oriental music cops and all.

good job everyone

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

I voted 1st, 2nd and 5th.

Number 4 is the headscratcher for me.

First couple of Roger Moore's are pretty fun and garish. Po-faced teenage Noodle was appalled the first time I saw L&LD.

I just would have figured The Spy Who Loved Me to rank higher in comparison!

Comedy voodoo priests obviously popular on ILX.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1b/Baron_Samedi_by_Geoffrey_Holder.jpg/200px-Baron_Samedi_by_Geoffrey_Holder.jpg
Aisley Harriott's let himself go...

It's been a long time but am I right in thinking there's a helluva lot of o_O in that movie?

the movie is completely o_O!! like all but three black people living in america in 1973 were on the payroll of some made-up island country's counterintelligence bureau because Yaphet Kotto puts on an ashy Frank Lucas mask!

DID YOU KNOW: Jane Seymour was able to see into the future until 007 popped her butt cherry!

DID YOU KNOW: Shooting a compressed air cartridge into a human being will cause them to expand exactly like a rubber helium balloon and pop bloodlessly when they touch the ceiling!

Soul food restaurants are sinister places full of booby traps!

the original trailer really does make it look like the most poxy hacked-together load of old rubbish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JCQZTVoVyk

And of course, redneck sheriffs. (Who, in the next film, go shopping for cars in Thailand.)

Truth in advertising.

The book is pretty o_O but I guess that was a big part of Fleming's steez.

connery 40 /6 (or 7)
lazenby 10 /1
moore 22 /7
dalton 8 /2
brosnan 4 /4
craig 14 /1

To the 4 people who voted for "Moonraker": you just voted for a better sendup of Bond than (Casino Royale). congrats, i guess.
To the person who voted for "Spy": I owe you drinks, dude.
To the person who voted for "Diamonds": I'm sorry the poll wasn't explained more carefully oh and here come check out my shark tank for a minute.

octopussy should come top of the bottoms.

Unfortunately The Spy Who Loved Me doesn't hold up as well as it should; nothing HAPPENS for 15 minutes. I really can't stand Roger Moore and his habit of smirking a line to telegraph that he understands IT'S A DOUBLE ENTENDRE.

Still classic: Jaws vs Jaws. The most ludicrously awesome Bond moment?

most ludicrously awesome Bond moment

needs its own poll. more nominees plz!

Someone needs to remind me of what happens in FYEO. Worth renting?

crossbow babe. bond turns down a slutty bimbo ice skater because she's like 16 years old and gives her a line implying she is more of a whore than even he is. bond fights guys on motorbikes in the snow. bond skis down a bobsled track being chased by a motorcycle. excellent moogy italo disco score by bill conti - the first 007 score I ever bought

worth OWNING. if the villains weren't so mediocre it would probably be moore's best bar none IMO

i'd say it's a solid second tier bond flick, but IMO most bonds worth renting. FYEO includes adventures in the Alps and some Greek shenanigans. It culminates with a basket being lifted to a cliff-top monestary.

and The Dove, avid pistachio chomper

bond skis down a bobsled track being chased by a motorcycle

def the most ludicrously awesome scene from fyeo, but for my money doesn't compete with jaws on jaws.

yeah but jaws on jaws was not backed by conti's amazing "runaway" tune

but it WAS backed by disco strings playing a Morodor-esque theme!

there's a moment in Moonraker when Drax's space people exit the station and all of a sudden like 50 armed astronauts pop out of a shuttle and for one moment when the two armies are suspended in space you're like awwwshiiitttt this will be the most L.A. event EVER. it is not.

what happens in FYEO

and yellow citroen cv crashing downhill through orchard, and young ice skater chick harassing bond for sex whilst scary mentor woman scolds. This was the episode with the amazing Spectrograph!

The laser battle in Moonraker is probably the most ludicrously awful Bond moment. I guess it came out more or less the same time as Star Wars and they felt obliged to get a bit zappy.

(xpost) Ste, I think you mean Identograph, that computer based Fotofit thingy that Q has to load a Winchester HD into.

for one moment when the two armies are suspended in space

...then it looks like Star Wars remade using Star Wars figures.

"You Only Live Twice" is on ITV1 now.

lookin' at my gucci it's about that time

fylingdales = actually a top-secret conference room.

LOL at British guy telling Americans and Russias what to do...

that is a quality opening though.

DoP is freddie young -- not exactly a lightweight.

"take this officer aft"

lol he doesn't really mean buttsex.

damn, son.

those japanese walls are made for running through.

The actor who plays Tanaka usually played the "Bond" role in Japanese spy movies.

"you are three and a half minutes early"? is this kind of anality a japanese stereotype i'm unaware of?

I think it's supposed to imply Japanese efficiency.

Why is Marc Almond flying that helicopter?

compared with 'tunderball' it's way cool that you don't know what the big scheme is until so late on.

woah $100m is a hell of a lot more than blofeld was demanding only two years previously.

OK, that Snickers commercial featuring Mr. T in a tank is weird...

it's suckage how many ninjas die

I think Kissy Suzuki is my favourite Bond Girl name.

dd

LTK is much better than I remembered it. I think I may have last seen it over ten years ago - I either did not notice at the time or had just forgotten that flygirl is completely smoking hot. in my top three now anyway. apparently she's now married to richard gere.

"married"

FYEO is worse than I rememberd. Mooore acts like he's rolling a Mandrax around in his mouth. Tombot OTM about how dull the villains. Carole Bouquet thoroughly adequate.

OMIGOD I forgot about the Margaret Thatcher moment.

That's one of the best bits!

I stand by the 'climb up the cliffside to the headquarters' sequence. Not an easy stunt. And Bond kicking the car off the cliff obv.

and Julian Glover was equally boring in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

the Thatcher bit wasn't bad.

I'm watching the short documentary; they make a big deal out of the car scene and how Moore, Glenn, et al were concerned that it "would alter perceptions of James Bond for years to come." Guess I'm not as steeped in the 007 mythos.

YEAH YOU.

It's easily the closest Moore got to Fleming's Bond, but it did go against the style of how the film Bond had evolved. (There's a bit in The Spy Who Loved Me in the rooftop fight that comes close but the car scene here is far colder.)

but I remember Connery embracing the character's thuggishness.

I guess I don't understand the difference between "cold-bloodedly" dispatching the guy in the car and dropping Blofield in his wheelchair through a smokestack.

he's a sociopath first and the flair is optional. but so rarely is he allowed an opportunity to take his time and dispatch a significant villain in an extremely straighforward manner that we begin to imagine the flair is mandatory. then he kicks a car off a cliff. "oh, shit. I forgot I was rooting for a terrible person."

they fucked it all up in TMWTGG when he let nick nack survive.

he's a sociopath first and the flair is optional. but so rarely is he allowed an opportunity to take his time and dispatch a significant villain in an extremely straighforward manner that we begin to imagine the flair is mandatory. then he kicks a car off a cliff. "oh, shit. I forgot I was rooting for a terrible person."

I suppose there's some mixed messages going on, since earlier Bond is friendly enough to nod at one of the pursuit cars in the Citroen chase. Still, Bond racks up a pretty impressive body count in this. Have those lilies sent to the funeral indeed.

Moore does look tired, but it doesn't help when there's "OOFs" looped in whenever Bond takes a blow in the ski chase.

the ludicrous italoscore makes up for a lot. the hockey is either hilarious camp or awful heresy depending on which other entry you watched last.

the ludicrous italoscore makes up for a lot. the hockey is either hilarious camp or awful heresy depending on which other entry you watched last.

It's camp, but not in an irritating way. If you're on board for the indestructible Citroen 2CV and underwater chases through sunken Greek temples, then what the hell. Rock climbing action piece is pretty great too. Carole Bouquet way underrated: handy with a crossbow, owns a submarine, and apparently hasn't aged at all since 1981.

"That's detente comrade. You don't have it. I don't have it."

If I DJ'ed at all, I would totally use the insane italoscore ALL THE TIME