so not gonna happen 3

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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/august2009.jpg

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:14 (seventeen years ago)

are you saying he's not gonna fuck the guitar

That mong guy that's shit, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:14 (seventeen years ago)

What the hell toy guitars?

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:25 (seventeen years ago)

I thought Geir played keyboards?

Tom D., Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:27 (seventeen years ago)

Why is he posed on 0.5 of a bunkbed? He wouldn't fit on it.

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:31 (seventeen years ago)

august2009.jpg

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:35 (seventeen years ago)

Is that Chaki?

hyggeligt, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:40 (seventeen years ago)

What the fuck's up with his belly button? Was he grown in an petri dish?

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 11:42 (seventeen years ago)

$20 says he's in IT.

libcrypt, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:49 (seventeen years ago)

If he had a few NiN discs on the bed, that would seal the deal.

libcrypt, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:51 (seventeen years ago)

Russell Brand's let himself go...

snoball, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:52 (seventeen years ago)

i think something is very much going to happen here

gff, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:53 (seventeen years ago)

btw what is the black thing with the blue and orange panels on it? a printer cartridge or something?

gff, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:53 (seventeen years ago)

yeah i think something is totally gonna happen. chaki's gonna play guitar hero and then shoot the TV

xpost: magazine clips?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:54 (seventeen years ago)

Batman utility belt.

libcrypt, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:58 (seventeen years ago)

Obv. it's missing a few sections.

libcrypt, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:58 (seventeen years ago)

I just realized that those are guitar hero guitars and not the real thing.

I've just lost my lady boner.

Tricksey Spinster, Thursday, 3 April 2008 14:59 (seventeen years ago)

http://i29.tinypic.com/xf6efa.jpg

jhøshea, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:08 (seventeen years ago)

Genius.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:09 (seventeen years ago)

What do you think is in the cardboard box underneath the bed?

snoball, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:09 (seventeen years ago)

gundam pron

Mr. Que, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:10 (seventeen years ago)

Gimp gear.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:10 (seventeen years ago)

chimp pron

Mr. Que, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:10 (seventeen years ago)

Don't you mean who is in the cardboard box underneath the bed

Tom D., Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:10 (seventeen years ago)

Hundreds of photos of the Olsen twins with the eyes cut out.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:11 (seventeen years ago)

Maybe Hooters guy is Brand's gimp, and he's kept in the cardboard box. That's the least creepy explaination I can come up with.

snoball, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:12 (seventeen years ago)

Or perhaps it's a leaked picture of Brand when he was at that sex addiction clinic. Rules: no booze, no drugs, no wank mags, just all the Guitar Hero and guns you can handle.

OR it might be a tabloid newspapers' attempt to link violence with video games.

snoball, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:16 (seventeen years ago)

dude's gonna shoot off his cock?

Snorkels, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:22 (seventeen years ago)

at least some of them are pellet guns

jhøshea, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:24 (seventeen years ago)

"Don't move or my cock gets it"

Tom D., Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:25 (seventeen years ago)

Can't imagine he's putting it to much productive use anyway.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:26 (seventeen years ago)

Much unproductive use though, I'd warrant

Tom D., Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:27 (seventeen years ago)

Anyway, I imagine he is "producing" stuff with it, on a regular basis

Tom D., Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:29 (seventeen years ago)

I think that guy overdid his OKCupid profile pic, there are too many phallic symbols in one photo.

Tuomas, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:39 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/iherdsomething2.jpg

adam, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:52 (seventeen years ago)

i dont think i can look at this thread no more

jhøshea, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:53 (seventeen years ago)

I feel sorry for whoever he conned into taking those.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

His guns look like toy guns.

Tuomas, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:56 (seventeen years ago)

I hope they are toy guns

Tom D., Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:57 (seventeen years ago)

Rick Rubin, survivalist.

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:57 (seventeen years ago)

There's a 1 & 3 there too but I don't dare see if there's more after that

http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/iherdsomething1.jpg
http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/iherdsomething3.jpg

StanM, Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:58 (seventeen years ago)

#3 is something special.

Eric H., Thursday, 3 April 2008 15:59 (seventeen years ago)

I just remembered why I turn off images at work.

Hurting 2, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:00 (seventeen years ago)

awesome.

forksclovetofu, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:02 (seventeen years ago)

I love that everything in that room not directly linked to gaming or weaponry was swiped from curbside. Dude can't even afford clothes.

Eric H., Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:05 (seventeen years ago)

Is Demis Roussos trying to tell us something?

StanM, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:08 (seventeen years ago)

Of course, "everything in that room" constitutes the kids' bed, the plastic shelves for his ammo, the old grade school teacher's desk and the rusty folding chair and the crumpled, gummy socks at the foot of that chair.

Eric H., Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:08 (seventeen years ago)

i think his computerdesk chair is the saddest thing of all

Mr. Que, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:08 (seventeen years ago)

There is something else underneath the bed, on the far right.

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

that looks to be an xbox360 box

Gukbe, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:31 (seventeen years ago)

Some people go for yetis.

Eazy, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:32 (seventeen years ago)

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:36 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.releaseinfo.net/ri/cover/new_velka/1189884912-xbox360box.gif

So it is. Not much of a surprise there.

xxp

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:38 (seventeen years ago)

Did you just look at the links chap?

kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:38 (seventeen years ago)

Yes I did.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:40 (seventeen years ago)

Brilliant! Especially when combined with the message at the root of that domain:

"Im out of business and stuff. Whatever."

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:40 (seventeen years ago)

I figured out what he's been reminding me of!

http://riotclitshave.com/random%20pix/434099640_52bfb17d94_o.jpg

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:43 (seventeen years ago)

riotclitshave.com, you say

gff, Thursday, 3 April 2008 16:43 (seventeen years ago)

This dude must have been drinking a mixture of rum, buttershots, and keyboard cleaner to get in the mood for the photo session.

dan m, Thursday, 3 April 2008 17:42 (seventeen years ago)

he's just high on life

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 April 2008 17:44 (seventeen years ago)

just in someone didn't click on the link:
http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/iherdsomething3.jpg

Lingbert, Thursday, 3 April 2008 17:55 (seventeen years ago)

just in CASE

Lingbert, Thursday, 3 April 2008 17:55 (seventeen years ago)

this so IS gonna happen.

s1ocki, Thursday, 3 April 2008 17:56 (seventeen years ago)

It's gonna to happen in a way that will be widely reported in the media.

chap, Thursday, 3 April 2008 17:57 (seventeen years ago)

It's going to happen because he is the last man on Earth.

Eazy, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:02 (seventeen years ago)

I think it is already happening

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:03 (seventeen years ago)

oh no

s1ocki, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:10 (seventeen years ago)

How do we get his gamertag?

czn, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:14 (seventeen years ago)

I just remembered why I turn off images at work.

rly wishing i'd done this!

tehresa, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:15 (seventeen years ago)

xp lol I bet he did prestige mode

dan m, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:17 (seventeen years ago)

Oh my god. I was just staring at the screen mouth wide open in horror when someone walked in and saw #3 over my shoulder. Awesome.

ENBB, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:30 (seventeen years ago)

"juggernaut"

czn, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:35 (seventeen years ago)

ok srsly who is this man and how did tracer hand come into contact with him.

gff, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:42 (seventeen years ago)

^this

get to it folx (and don't come back w.out his flickr and gamertag)

czn, Thursday, 3 April 2008 18:48 (seventeen years ago)

Oh my god. I was just staring at the screen mouth wide open in horror when someone walked in and saw #3 over my shoulder. Awesome.

For my money, #2 is the mouth-opening Medusa, but I think all have freeze potential.

libcrypt, Thursday, 3 April 2008 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

okay so why did I actually come back and look at the pictures here

HI DERE, Thursday, 3 April 2008 19:30 (seventeen years ago)

#3 made me have real, uncontrollable lolz at work

Jordan, Thursday, 3 April 2008 19:31 (seventeen years ago)

what DP said.

Dandy Don Weiner, Thursday, 3 April 2008 19:36 (seventeen years ago)

I can't stop looking at it. Why hasn't anyone uncovered the story on this guy yet? I would but I'm too busy although obv not busy enough to keep me coming back and staring in awe.

ENBB, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:30 (seventeen years ago)

jaymc is in peru.

Jordan, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

ACE computers has a "contact us" page. Someone could ask!

http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/contact_us.php?osCsid=08cccbc03e722cf7054d1957577a0c49

dan m, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:35 (seventeen years ago)

He's the real deal.

Bobbi Peru, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:44 (seventeen years ago)

please tell me it's a joke!

not_goodwin, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:47 (seventeen years ago)

People, a serious warning: just don't try to google for more information, he's not alone :-(((

http://i26.tinypic.com/2edquwx.jpg

StanM, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

Jesus Christ, these really are the end times. :-((((((

Rock Hardy, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:51 (seventeen years ago)

DNS info for that domain points to 81ak3 3ng315
Google search reveals
of Crazy 81ak3's Computers & Crazy 81ak3's Military Surplus Shop
also of the Franklin County Sheriff's Department
3ng✧✧✧@fcsher✧✧✧.o✧✧
Seems like just a good ol' southern deputy type.

Bnad, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:54 (seventeen years ago)

of Crazy 81ak3's Computers & Crazy 81ak3's Military Surplus Shop

"Zed's dead, baby...Zed's dead."

Rock Hardy, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:55 (seventeen years ago)

Are those bottles of Captain Morgan's and Kahlua on his desk?

milo z, Thursday, 3 April 2008 20:57 (seventeen years ago)

People, a serious warning: just don't try to google for more information, he's not alone :-(((

http://i26.tinypic.com/2edquwx.jpg

latebloomer?

gff, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

The unibrow, ohhh the unibrow.

Laurel, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

On pic 2.

Laurel, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

Okay, that reads like it's turning you on.

HI DERE, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:02 (seventeen years ago)

latebloomer?

-- gff, Thursday, April 3, 2008 9:01 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i knew someone would say that, lol

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:05 (seventeen years ago)

As resident awful liquor expert, I can confirm that the rum is in fact Sailor Jerry's brand spiced rum, not captain morgans

John Justen, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:05 (seventeen years ago)

x-post

when i took those photos

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:05 (seventeen years ago)

J/K, dude is in way better shape than i am

latebloomer, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:06 (seventeen years ago)

Dear god, it just gets worse.

keep 'em comin...

not_goodwin, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:30 (seventeen years ago)

guys just imagine what that room smells like. don't imagine too hard though.

elmo argonaut, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:35 (seventeen years ago)

...all this thigh hair is scaring me.

Michael Servetus, Thursday, 3 April 2008 21:37 (seventeen years ago)

wow!

gbx, Thursday, 3 April 2008 22:11 (seventeen years ago)

If I posed like that second guy, I'd have to use a DS Phat...

snoball, Thursday, 3 April 2008 22:21 (seventeen years ago)

it really does look like Russel Brand

Ronan, Thursday, 3 April 2008 22:35 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/iherdsomething3.jpg

Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.

gbx, Thursday, 3 April 2008 22:44 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.achewood.com/rsrc/img/lyle_blog.gif

Rock Hardy, Thursday, 3 April 2008 23:02 (seventeen years ago)

x-post - I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Thank you, gbx.

ENBB, Friday, 4 April 2008 01:15 (seventeen years ago)

For some reason I can see Nick Cave being this guy had he grown up in the American South.

joygoat, Friday, 4 April 2008 03:16 (seventeen years ago)

Was it the Guitar Hero controller, or the Xbox?

David R., Friday, 4 April 2008 04:51 (seventeen years ago)

Oh wait - it's the Flannery O'Connor anthology he shoved in his speedo.

David R., Friday, 4 April 2008 04:52 (seventeen years ago)

http://i27.tinypic.com/15eisep.jpg

StanM, Friday, 4 April 2008 04:59 (seventeen years ago)

oh shi--

gff, Friday, 4 April 2008 05:11 (seventeen years ago)

Tracer when did Vice hire you to start threads?

Mackro Mackro, Friday, 4 April 2008 05:46 (seventeen years ago)

If you look at the bigger version of the "August 2009" pic, the boxes on the bed read "Winchester", "Magitech", and "Remington", so I guess they are real bullets. Though the information about the military surplus shop already confirmed that, I guess.

Would you say that only in America can someone be a gamer nerd and a survivalist gun nut at the same time?

Tuomas, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:14 (seventeen years ago)

I dunno, you could probably do some bitchin' gamer-nerd-gun-nuttery in parts of Central and South America.

en i see kay, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:16 (seventeen years ago)

pretty much anywhere there are guns and games

remy bean, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:17 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, but in Finland for example, the gamer nerds and gun enthusiasts are two groups that don't really overlap at all.

Tuomas, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:20 (seventeen years ago)

right

John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:20 (seventeen years ago)

Well, okay, I guess this is possible in any country where gun culture is more in the mainstream. I didn't meant to disparage USA.

Tuomas, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:22 (seventeen years ago)

The USA: We're not alone in being turned on by guns, we swear! IT'S A COMMON KINK. GET OVER IT. JEEZ.

en i see kay, Friday, 4 April 2008 06:24 (seventeen years ago)

Concessions are made in many countries in lieu of any possible sexual contact with women.

Eric H., Friday, 4 April 2008 06:35 (seventeen years ago)

That first pose on the bed looks like it could have been influenced by someone's sundae picture.

StanM, Friday, 4 April 2008 09:31 (seventeen years ago)

Why's he got some kind of pink dildo in place of the magazine on that uzi thing?

Mark C, Friday, 4 April 2008 09:39 (seventeen years ago)

I think of this dude as some kind of unfrozen noble savage who just happened to get dug up and revived in the wrong backyard.

El Tomboto, Friday, 4 April 2008 09:41 (seventeen years ago)

Nu-Eegah

Tom D., Friday, 4 April 2008 09:42 (seventeen years ago)

Insano Man

latebloomer, Friday, 4 April 2008 12:51 (seventeen years ago)

Nu-Eegah

Hahah.

"Watch out for snakes...one kind in particular."

Ned Raggett, Friday, 4 April 2008 12:52 (seventeen years ago)

the So Not Gonna Happen series just keeps on giving...

baaderonixx, Friday, 4 April 2008 13:44 (seventeen years ago)

KLINGPRON

GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 4 April 2008 14:44 (seventeen years ago)

Last night I couldn't sleep for hours and hours. Finally, around 5:30am I got up, drank a glass of water and looked at this thread for the first time. Then I went back to bed, woke up my girlfriend with a sudden burst of laughter, and fell asleep like a baby.

Thanks SNGH3!

PS this guy looks a lot like my uncle

Z S, Friday, 4 April 2008 16:56 (seventeen years ago)

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t214/ZachRScott/iherdbearfight.gif

Z S, Friday, 4 April 2008 18:00 (seventeen years ago)

wow

Jordan, Friday, 4 April 2008 18:03 (seventeen years ago)

great!

carne asada, Friday, 4 April 2008 18:04 (seventeen years ago)

I knew there would be some Z_S magic to dry my tears at this thread.

libcrypt, Friday, 4 April 2008 18:05 (seventeen years ago)

I had an earlier one where his man bulge was whipping back and forth like a hyper pendulum on a grandfather clock, but that's harder to pull off than it sounds.

Z S, Friday, 4 April 2008 18:11 (seventeen years ago)

we're gonna need an update to santorum.jpg i think

gff, Friday, 4 April 2008 18:12 (seventeen years ago)

O_O O_O O_O

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RabiesAngentleman, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 12:28 (seventeen years ago)

WHO IS THIS GUY?

RabiesAngentleman, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 12:28 (seventeen years ago)

His choice of desktop wallpaper surprises me, in that it's a big old fish and not a gun or his crotch.

Slumpman, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

he probably had sex with that fish and then ate it.

s1ocki, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 22:05 (seventeen years ago)

http://giant%20gross%20guy

gbx, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 22:10 (seventeen years ago)

I would suggest ilx not try too hard to track this guy down, sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted...

31g, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 22:13 (seventeen years ago)

Z_S pic is missing this guy

http://englishrussia.com/images/bodybuilding_in_russia/7.jpg

first pics are like so not gonna happen 4

gbx, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 22:14 (seventeen years ago)

This guy makes the guy at the top of the thread look normal, almost...

snoball, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 22:18 (seventeen years ago)

can't access this at work, but from the description it sounds like our guy:

http://digg.com/people/Seriously_WTF_3

czn, Thursday, 10 April 2008 12:28 (seventeen years ago)

by TacticalPenguin 10 hours ago
Sadly I can identify almost everything in that picture except the fat guy and the revolvers.

gff, Thursday, 10 April 2008 12:43 (seventeen years ago)

was Tracer looking up the microsoft guy?

gabbneb, Saturday, 12 April 2008 05:28 (seventeen years ago)

(xxpost) it is the same guy

fat guy and the revolvers

This guy would make a great replacement for Weiland. Slash: "I know this one can't be a junkie, he's too fat."

snoball, Saturday, 12 April 2008 07:41 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

http://i.buttes.org/http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/glockass2.jpg

Slumpman, Monday, 26 May 2008 16:28 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.acecomputers-tn.com/awful/glockass2.jpg

gff, Monday, 26 May 2008 16:54 (seventeen years ago)

Gotta watch out for those dance belts.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 26 May 2008 17:06 (seventeen years ago)

D:

RabiesAngentleman, Monday, 26 May 2008 17:13 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

did this ever happen?

meanwhile, one that already happened.

czn, Sunday, 29 June 2008 18:11 (seventeen years ago)

Not only did it happen, it was also THIS big

http://i28.tinypic.com/dd2i39.jpg

StanM, Sunday, 29 June 2008 18:13 (seventeen years ago)

OMFG this thread

Eisbaer, Sunday, 29 June 2008 18:18 (seventeen years ago)

ten months pass...

http://images4cf.ravelry.com/uploads/HarleenQuinzel/4115020/knucks2_medium.jpg

test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees (Abbott), Saturday, 16 May 2009 23:26 (sixteen years ago)

hahahaha

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 16 May 2009 23:32 (sixteen years ago)

What are those things in the left hand corner - remotes?

Brandy Frotte and Reel De La St-Jean (Ned Trifle II), Sunday, 17 May 2009 08:25 (sixteen years ago)

Looks like me when I don't trim my beard tbh.

Brandy Frotte and Reel De La St-Jean (Ned Trifle II), Sunday, 17 May 2009 08:26 (sixteen years ago)

seven years pass...

http://i.imgur.com/JXTM61p.jpg

pplains, Monday, 24 October 2016 15:11 (nine years ago)


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