have you ever rubbed one out at work?

I don't know what "rubbed one out" means, do I want to know?

Is it like masturbating?

yes, it's a term for masturbating.

Oh, I thought everyone does this.

ban tuomas

No, tuomas, it's a euphemism for having someone killed. Haven't you seen any American gangster movies?

it only sounds weird because we've been socially conditioned to think it is weird

Naw, it's a gangster term for killed. Have you ever killed someone at work? (ha, xpost)

how weird, i was just reading this thread yesterday:

wanking at work - is it good/bad/right/easy/nice/etc?

I have not but would not rule it out for the future. My office incredibly unarousing tho.

tuomas works at a nursery, by the way

Oh, I thought everyone does this.

Oh ffs, I sincerely hope not.

God, I can actually hear the enormous clattering sound as millions of keyboards race to type their responses at once.

God, I can actually hear the enormous clattering sound as millions of office workers race to rub one out.

i work @ home

http://www.historyofthebutton.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/delete_eraser.jpg

http://newd2event.net/img/fun/ban_.jpg

and wank in the park

xpost

Best posters who could possibly answer 'yes' to this:

1. Ethan
2. Everyone else

3. nabisco

I know for sure that a couple people (not my co-workers) have.

I would particularly like to know if any women have. Maybe should have started male and female versions of this poll.

I remember some thread a while ago where some female ILXor complained that she was at work and had headache, but didn't have any painkillers. I suggested that she'd go the toilet to have a wank, because that'll release serotonin into her body, and she said she'll try it.

This is the poll where it is unveiled that the name of each voter is recorded along with each vote and displayed once the poll finishes, isn't it.

This is known as a "chimp wank" or "going for a chimpy" after the favoured pastime of bored-to-the-point-of-suicide chimpanzees in zoos.

you should cut off their hands. it doesn't matter if you kill someone they still live on in your nightmares

I don't expect anyone to answer this in writing, but I want to say that I have not, and not b/c I think it's bad or gross, but b/c it never occurred to me as a real possibility.

I'm meeting some female friends tonight, I could ask them to find out if this is common.

the female version of this poll

I suggested that she'd go the toilet to have a wank, because that'll release serotonin into her body, and she said she'll try it.

i'd rather release some seroboning into her body nudge nudge

you catch yourself having a wank during work hours = it's time to face it, tiger -- you are not in line for a promotion

That depends on where you work.

Dude, you're not obliged to whop it out during your annual appraisal.

xpost ok, fair enough

"...unless your workplace has 'Pink' in its name somewhere."

the trick is to not catch yourself doing it

and not be named after a famous golfer

sometimes when kenan posts things that dont make sense i think he dost protest too much

then i want to go get drunk and erase brane

good job.

Thought about it, never done it. My girlfriend works at the same uni now,and my office has inner offices where you can't possibly be seen, and can lock yourselves away, and she STILL wont have sex with me in the office.

shh, ken c is going to tell us about his "Fuzzy Zoeller"

Are you Aaron Zanders in disguise?

Best posters who could possibly answer 'yes' to this:

1. Ethan
2. Everyone else

-- Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:00 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

3. ithappens

4. Alex in NYC

What if you worked at a sperm bank? I bet there'd be a lot less guilt involved if you knew you were helping some anonymous couple by filling up that bucket.

5. Any dudes who own a restaurant

A BUCKET!!??!/?

Everything about this poll is TMI.

so, does a guy at a sperm bank have to fill up the bucket himelf, or do all the donors use the same bucket until it's full?

http://www.soundtrackcollector.com/images/movie/large/Daddy_day_care_1.jpg

i've decided i don't want to do anywork today. instead am going to just hit refresh on this thread every 30 seconds.

It's more of a vat than a bucket, and there are up to 50 of them wanking at any one time.

not even going to take my 3:45 spank break.

xpost jesus christ

a trough would be efficient.

matt has bucket!

ILX has a bucket...it's called ILX.

a vat of cum.

powerful mental image.

It's a cardinal sin.

every bucket is sacred

Thanks for ruining a previously-entertaining sea lion picture, Matt.

I have not, but a friend of mine told me that he did. He also rubs one out approximately 5 times per day.

He should consider better underwear.

"Silk was a bad choice!"

i think i am maybe one of the people who admitted this to jesse in conversation. so there, you have my answer.

I was mentioning no names. Hi Andrew!

i've decided i don't want to do anywork today. instead am going to just rub one out every 30 seconds.

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:26 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

sex in work is better.

sometimes you need to dispatch a restless chubby so you can get some goddamn work done. for the sake of productivity. you know.

Yes well we can't all live up to your amazing feats of all anal, all the time shagfrenzy, can we. xpost

dispatch a restless chubby

Huh.

sometimes you need to dispatch a restless chubby

now i have an image of a chubby as a bike messenger. "Get these documents to our corporate office, stat!"

i voted

Tell us. TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU MASTURBATE AT WORK.

My chubby is restful.

yeah, HOOS, did you ever drive a steen while you were on the clock?

http://thurston.halfcat.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/voted_touchscreen.gif

http://graphics.samsclub.com/images/products/0008621653119_L4.jpg

Isn't this why you keep an electric pencil sharpener at your desk?

"tuomas works at a nursery, by the way"

my cousin told me one of her pupils snorted speed in the toilet of the childcare center she did her apprentice work at. hahaha can you imagine?

human and care service industries are so fulla drugs, for serious

dude, don't do this to me, i'm already having a hard time "dumping" my kid at a nursery.

well, i don't know a lot about daycare work, so i won't worry you about that... but everyone i know who works in mental health services tokes on the regular -- one case worker i heard of was actually reprimanded for smoking pot with her client?? but she was generally a bad person and defrauded many of her clients of their gov't moneys.

i like to think everyone uses, except idiots who don't.

how else will we get through the day?

just like everyone masturbates.

at work.

oh god no!! now i know why one of my employees goes upstairs for half an hour every day. NO WAY AM I CHECKING what she's doing.

webcam

dude, you obv do not know what she looks like. trust me, you do not wanna go there.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

a year or so ago in my last job i was minding my own business in the toilet stall and the dude in the stall next to me decided to have a very very noisy wank. i was out of there so quickly i think i nearly knocked out some other dude opening the door to the toilets trying to leave

I had a colleague at former job who used to masturbate loudly and without any effort to conceal it every single day immediately after eating his lunch. I'm sure I've written about it elsewhere but yeah, disturbing.

This reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn6Z9djh8eA

..not particularly funny.

EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WANKING, PLEASE AVOID MAKING RUBBING SOUNDS IN THE STALL TO AVOID CONFUSION.

THX

THE MGMT

pls to not shake peen more than 3 times

You never know, 3 shakes might be all some guy might need to get the job done.

I don't masturbate at work or smoke weed ever! Color me prudish.

COLOR ME.

I should make a "Tuomas Is Unreal" jpg for this thread.

you catch yourself having a wank during work hours = it's time to face it, tiger -- you are not in line for a promotion

well you can turn it around by saying or thinking 'this is how i really love this place. i rub one here, often'. it is interview GOLD.

"i work here SO much I rarely have affairs of the heart"

I find that the mock-ups for the new ad campaign are quite, er, stimulating.

next superbowl advert

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

We win!

lol pervs

I don't know what "rubbed one out" means, do I want to know?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 4:53 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

Is it like masturbating?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 4:53 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

the thought of 2 out of every 3 people i work with jerking it in the johns is fuckin gross. i'm not saying anything about doods who voted in this poll, i'm just talking about the folks i work with.

This is a victory for common sense.

the rapper?

tuomas works at a nursery, by the way
-- ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (2 weeks ago) Link

http://www.vanwild.com/UP0000000029.png

Fertilizer.

man for the days when i had an office door with a lock on it.

-- chicago kevin, Friday, May 2, 2008 2:07 PM (22 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

you should cut off their hands. it doesn't matter if you kill someone they still live on in your nightmares

-- mkcaine, Friday, April 11, 2008 12:04 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

I am trying my very best to erase idea of colleagues masturbating at work OUT OF MY BRANE. Ek. Ek. EEEK.

Didn't you used to work with your parents?

You are a very bad man, Dan.