have you ever rubbed one out at work?

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I've talked to a couple of guys who nonchalantly told me that they have. I have not, and I thought it was weird.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Yes 35
No18


Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:52 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know what "rubbed one out" means, do I want to know?

Tuomas, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:53 (seventeen years ago)

Is it like masturbating?

Tuomas, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:53 (seventeen years ago)

yes, it's a term for masturbating.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:54 (seventeen years ago)

Oh, I thought everyone does this.

Tuomas, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:54 (seventeen years ago)

ban tuomas

Mr. Que, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

No, tuomas, it's a euphemism for having someone killed. Haven't you seen any American gangster movies?

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

it only sounds weird because we've been socially conditioned to think it is weird

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

Naw, it's a gangster term for killed. Have you ever killed someone at work? (ha, xpost)

Rock Hardy, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

how weird, i was just reading this thread yesterday:

wanking at work - is it good/bad/right/easy/nice/etc?

I have not but would not rule it out for the future. My office incredibly unarousing tho.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

tuomas works at a nursery, by the way

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

Oh, I thought everyone does this.

Oh ffs, I sincerely hope not.

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

God, I can actually hear the enormous clattering sound as millions of keyboards race to type their responses at once.

Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:56 (seventeen years ago)

God, I can actually hear the enormous clattering sound as millions of office workers race to rub one out.

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:56 (seventeen years ago)

i work @ home

jhøshea, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:57 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.historyofthebutton.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/delete_eraser.jpg

dan m, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:57 (seventeen years ago)

http://newd2event.net/img/fun/ban_.jpg

Mr. Que, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:58 (seventeen years ago)

and wank in the park

xpost

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:58 (seventeen years ago)

Best posters who could possibly answer 'yes' to this:

1. Ethan
2. Everyone else

Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:00 (seventeen years ago)

3. nabisco

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:01 (seventeen years ago)

I know for sure that a couple people (not my co-workers) have.

I would particularly like to know if any women have. Maybe should have started male and female versions of this poll.

Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:02 (seventeen years ago)

I remember some thread a while ago where some female ILXor complained that she was at work and had headache, but didn't have any painkillers. I suggested that she'd go the toilet to have a wank, because that'll release serotonin into her body, and she said she'll try it.

Tuomas, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:04 (seventeen years ago)

This is the poll where it is unveiled that the name of each voter is recorded along with each vote and displayed once the poll finishes, isn't it.

HI DERE, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:04 (seventeen years ago)

This is known as a "chimp wank" or "going for a chimpy" after the favoured pastime of bored-to-the-point-of-suicide chimpanzees in zoos.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:04 (seventeen years ago)

you should cut off their hands. it doesn't matter if you kill someone they still live on in your nightmares

mkcaine, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:04 (seventeen years ago)

I don't expect anyone to answer this in writing, but I want to say that I have not, and not b/c I think it's bad or gross, but b/c it never occurred to me as a real possibility.

Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:05 (seventeen years ago)

I'm meeting some female friends tonight, I could ask them to find out if this is common.

Tuomas, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:05 (seventeen years ago)

the female version of this poll

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:05 (seventeen years ago)

I suggested that she'd go the toilet to have a wank, because that'll release serotonin into her body, and she said she'll try it.

i'd rather release some seroboning into her body nudge nudge

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:06 (seventeen years ago)

you catch yourself having a wank during work hours = it's time to face it, tiger -- you are not in line for a promotion

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:06 (seventeen years ago)

That depends on where you work.

HI DERE, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:07 (seventeen years ago)

Dude, you're not obliged to whop it out during your annual appraisal.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:07 (seventeen years ago)

xpost ok, fair enough

"...unless your workplace has 'Pink' in its name somewhere."

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:08 (seventeen years ago)

the trick is to not catch yourself doing it

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:09 (seventeen years ago)

and not be named after a famous golfer

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:10 (seventeen years ago)

sometimes when kenan posts things that dont make sense i think he dost protest too much

then i want to go get drunk and erase brane

deej, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:10 (seventeen years ago)

good job.

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:11 (seventeen years ago)

Thought about it, never done it. My girlfriend works at the same uni now,and my office has inner offices where you can't possibly be seen, and can lock yourselves away, and she STILL wont have sex with me in the office.

Scik Mouthy, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:11 (seventeen years ago)

shh, ken c is going to tell us about his "Fuzzy Zoeller"

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:11 (seventeen years ago)

Are you Aaron Zanders in disguise?

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:13 (seventeen years ago)

Best posters who could possibly answer 'yes' to this:

1. Ethan
2. Everyone else

-- Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:00 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

3. ithappens

Dom Passantino, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:14 (seventeen years ago)

4. Alex in NYC

Noodle Vague, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:16 (seventeen years ago)

What if you worked at a sperm bank? I bet there'd be a lot less guilt involved if you knew you were helping some anonymous couple by filling up that bucket.

StanM, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:17 (seventeen years ago)

5. Any dudes who own a restaurant

Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:18 (seventeen years ago)

A BUCKET!!??!/?

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:23 (seventeen years ago)

Everything about this poll is TMI.

Pashmina, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:24 (seventeen years ago)

so, does a guy at a sperm bank have to fill up the bucket himelf, or do all the donors use the same bucket until it's full?

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.soundtrackcollector.com/images/movie/large/Daddy_day_care_1.jpg

Billy Dods, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

i've decided i don't want to do anywork today. instead am going to just hit refresh on this thread every 30 seconds.

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

It's more of a vat than a bucket, and there are up to 50 of them wanking at any one time.

Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

not even going to take my 3:45 spank break.

xpost jesus christ

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

a trough would be efficient.

Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:27 (seventeen years ago)

matt has bucket!

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:28 (seventeen years ago)

ILX has a bucket...it's called ILX.

Rock Hardy, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)

a vat of cum.

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)

powerful mental image.

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:30 (seventeen years ago)

It's a cardinal sin.

Matt DC, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:30 (seventeen years ago)

every bucket is sacred

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:33 (seventeen years ago)

Thanks for ruining a previously-entertaining sea lion picture, Matt.

HI DERE, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:37 (seventeen years ago)

I have not, but a friend of mine told me that he did. He also rubs one out approximately 5 times per day.

libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:39 (seventeen years ago)

He should consider better underwear.

HI DERE, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:39 (seventeen years ago)

"Silk was a bad choice!"

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:41 (seventeen years ago)

i think i am maybe one of the people who admitted this to jesse in conversation. so there, you have my answer.

elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:45 (seventeen years ago)

I was mentioning no names. Hi Andrew!

Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:46 (seventeen years ago)

i've decided i don't want to do anywork today. instead am going to just rub one out every 30 seconds.

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:26 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:47 (seventeen years ago)

sex in work is better.

not_goodwin, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:50 (seventeen years ago)

sometimes you need to dispatch a restless chubby so you can get some goddamn work done. for the sake of productivity. you know.

elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:52 (seventeen years ago)

Yes well we can't all live up to your amazing feats of all anal, all the time shagfrenzy, can we. xpost

Mark C, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:53 (seventeen years ago)

dispatch a restless chubby

Huh.

Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:55 (seventeen years ago)

sometimes you need to dispatch a restless chubby

now i have an image of a chubby as a bike messenger. "Get these documents to our corporate office, stat!"

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:56 (seventeen years ago)

i voted

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:57 (seventeen years ago)

Tell us. TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU MASTURBATE AT WORK.

Jesse, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:57 (seventeen years ago)

My chubby is restful.

libcrypt, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:59 (seventeen years ago)

yeah, HOOS, did you ever drive a steen while you were on the clock?

Alex in Baltimore, Friday, 11 April 2008 16:59 (seventeen years ago)

http://thurston.halfcat.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/voted_touchscreen.gif

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:09 (seventeen years ago)

http://graphics.samsclub.com/images/products/0008621653119_L4.jpg

kenan, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:11 (seventeen years ago)

Isn't this why you keep an electric pencil sharpener at your desk?

Oilyrags, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:30 (seventeen years ago)

"tuomas works at a nursery, by the way"

my cousin told me one of her pupils snorted speed in the toilet of the childcare center she did her apprentice work at. hahaha can you imagine?

stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:33 (seventeen years ago)

human and care service industries are so fulla drugs, for serious

elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:38 (seventeen years ago)

dude, don't do this to me, i'm already having a hard time "dumping" my kid at a nursery.

stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:38 (seventeen years ago)

well, i don't know a lot about daycare work, so i won't worry you about that... but everyone i know who works in mental health services tokes on the regular -- one case worker i heard of was actually reprimanded for smoking pot with her client?? but she was generally a bad person and defrauded many of her clients of their gov't moneys.

elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:46 (seventeen years ago)

i like to think everyone uses, except idiots who don't.

stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:47 (seventeen years ago)

how else will we get through the day?

stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:47 (seventeen years ago)

just like everyone masturbates.

at work.

elmo argonaut, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:47 (seventeen years ago)

oh god no!! now i know why one of my employees goes upstairs for half an hour every day. NO WAY AM I CHECKING what she's doing.

stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:48 (seventeen years ago)

webcam

jhøshea, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:54 (seventeen years ago)

dude, you obv do not know what she looks like. trust me, you do not wanna go there.

stevienixed, Friday, 11 April 2008 17:54 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Tuesday, 15 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

a year or so ago in my last job i was minding my own business in the toilet stall and the dude in the stall next to me decided to have a very very noisy wank. i was out of there so quickly i think i nearly knocked out some other dude opening the door to the toilets trying to leave

electricsound, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:19 (seventeen years ago)

I had a colleague at former job who used to masturbate loudly and without any effort to conceal it every single day immediately after eating his lunch. I'm sure I've written about it elsewhere but yeah, disturbing.

ENBB, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:22 (seventeen years ago)

This reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn6Z9djh8eA

wilter, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:24 (seventeen years ago)

..not particularly funny.

wilter, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:25 (seventeen years ago)

EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WANKING, PLEASE AVOID MAKING RUBBING SOUNDS IN THE STALL TO AVOID CONFUSION.

THX

THE MGMT

fields of salmon, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:29 (seventeen years ago)

pls to not shake peen more than 3 times

electricsound, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:30 (seventeen years ago)

You never know, 3 shakes might be all some guy might need to get the job done.

fields of salmon, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 02:42 (seventeen years ago)

I don't masturbate at work or smoke weed ever! Color me prudish.

COLOR ME.

Abbott, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 03:03 (seventeen years ago)

I should make a "Tuomas Is Unreal" jpg for this thread.

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 03:08 (seventeen years ago)

you catch yourself having a wank during work hours = it's time to face it, tiger -- you are not in line for a promotion

well you can turn it around by saying or thinking 'this is how i really love this place. i rub one here, often'. it is interview GOLD.

csa, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 04:57 (seventeen years ago)

"i work here SO much I rarely have affairs of the heart"

csa, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 04:58 (seventeen years ago)

I find that the mock-ups for the new ad campaign are quite, er, stimulating.

libcrypt, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 05:12 (seventeen years ago)

next superbowl advert

csa, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 05:24 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

We win!

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:02 (seventeen years ago)

lol pervs

mookieproof, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:04 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know what "rubbed one out" means, do I want to know?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 4:53 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

Is it like masturbating?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 4:53 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

banriquit, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:05 (seventeen years ago)

the thought of 2 out of every 3 people i work with jerking it in the johns is fuckin gross. i'm not saying anything about doods who voted in this poll, i'm just talking about the folks i work with.

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:13 (seventeen years ago)

This is a victory for common sense.

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:15 (seventeen years ago)

the rapper?

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 16 April 2008 23:32 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

tuomas works at a nursery, by the way
-- ken c, Friday, 11 April 2008 15:55 (2 weeks ago) Link

http://www.vanwild.com/UP0000000029.png

rollerbeef, Thursday, 1 May 2008 18:19 (seventeen years ago)

Fertilizer.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 May 2008 18:26 (seventeen years ago)

man for the days when i had an office door with a lock on it.

-- chicago kevin, Friday, May 2, 2008 2:07 PM (22 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 2 May 2008 18:08 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

you should cut off their hands. it doesn't matter if you kill someone they still live on in your nightmares

-- mkcaine, Friday, April 11, 2008 12:04 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

max, Saturday, 19 July 2008 12:43 (seventeen years ago)

I am trying my very best to erase idea of colleagues masturbating at work OUT OF MY BRANE. Ek. Ek. EEEK.

stevienixed, Saturday, 19 July 2008 13:19 (seventeen years ago)

Didn't you used to work with your parents?

HI DERE, Saturday, 19 July 2008 13:53 (seventeen years ago)

You are a very bad man, Dan.

milo z, Saturday, 19 July 2008 19:30 (seventeen years ago)


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