Things you've done exactly once in your life

Be given birth to

posted on a Reverend thread

Been to a funeral. Sadly breaking that record today by attending my second.

also, fired a 12 gauge shotgun

Cheated on a test.
Cheated.

Posted to this thread on ILX.

^^^funny

been snarky to someone named 'fred nerk'

Had the top of my finger bitten off (i won't say what by, it's pathetic) and then sewed back on.
Lost my virginity.
Got a hole in one.
Cried because a girl kicked me in the nuts so hard.
Got arrested.
Hidden beetween sleepers and let a train go over me (was a dare others did it too).
Fell asleep on the job.

Got married

OMG not goodwin was the train thing scary? Were you tempted to move?

I couldn't have moved even if I'd had wanted to, I was frozen with fear, it was so loud and windy, hence the only doing it once. Please don't try this at home etc...

Been pulled over by a cop

Fallen headfirst down a flight of stairs.

Been arrested. Vomited over my desk at work. Broken my wrist. Bought a Smashing Pumpkins record. Been punched in the face.

These were all totally unrelated incidents.

you say that

been arrested

purchased ecstacy from a Vietnamese girl who got double 800s on the SAT

acid

received an award from the Daughters of the American Revolution

Did a handstand on a gym balance beam.

Gave me the fear, I quit gymnastics about a week later.

gone under general anaesthetic
vomited under a table at a bar
eaten a quart of ice cream in one sitting
gone to Worldcon

Lost my virginity.
Got a hole in one.
Cried because a girl kicked me in the nuts so hard.
Got arrested.
Hidden beetween sleepers and let a train go over me (was a dare others did it too).
Fell asleep on the job.

i'm imagining all of these happening chronologically in the same hour.

won a potato sack race
took second in a spelling bee
been arrested
peed my pants during a test
had my tubes tied

scored a touchdown playing organized football
gotten knocked the fuck out playing unorganized soccer

watched pr0n with other dudes in the room

Helicopter Ride!

Travelled from San Diego to the San Francisco Bay Area by submarine.

awesome^

MEDICAL SPECIAL
- Knocked myself unconscious running into a wall
- Cut bits of my hand off with a meat slicer (and I'm a vegetarian)*
- Had my appendix removed (without having appendicitis)
- Been told by a doctor: "FUCK, THAT will never heal!"
- Accidentally swallowed insecticide
- Set fire to own hair
- Fallen off a roof

*I had to specify the meat slicer, sadly, because it's not the only time I've cut bits of my hands off in general

I've knocked myself unconcious running into things more than once, ridiculously :/

rode my bike across Iowa
ecstasy

swam with sharks

interviewed donny osmond
had a hip replacement

caught a shark, fishing

(it was a baby shark)

talked about a bbq festival on Memphis local news

caught a shark, fisting

how exactly does a shark fist?

x-post -- once, when you were five

worn a tuxedo

caught a touchdown pass from JFK jr, r.i.p.

Eaten a meal that cost the same as my rent.

Been arrested...Bought a Smashing Pumpkins record

The one time I got arrested it was right before the Smashing Pumpkins started playing.

Breakfast with Marion Ross; lunch with Martha Plimpton; dinner with Christopher Durang.

wau

And late-night poker with Kim Deal.

was the durang dinner absurd?

Very, very un-zany. Quiet, friendly guy.

almost hit Quentin Tarantino with my car

Climbed the World Trade Center.

Dinner with Hugo Weaving
Holidayed in the Tatra Mountains in Slovakia
Crossed the Channel in a hovercraft

Fucked an Asian girl

stood up on a surfboard.
cried because of a girl.
buried a parent.
bled a boiler.
won a raffle.
punched a non-relative.
crashed a car.
eaten sushi.

travelled by hovercraft

stood up on a non-relative.
cried because of sushi.
buried a surfboard.
bled a girl.
won a boiler.
punched a car.
crashed a parent.
eaten a raffle.

bled a girl?

Carried a coffin.

Eaten lobster
Had lunch with Gary Wilmot

Stood within 20 feet of Alvaro Recoba

Been to a European final
Won more than £10 on the lottery
Hit someone with my car
Been hitch-hiking
Gone to Glastonbury

Ketamine
Met the Queen

Not at the same time, unfortunately

Been arrested. Vomited over my desk at work. Broken my wrist. Bought a Smashing Pumpkins record. Been punched in the face.

Worst. day. ever.

Bought a Smashing Pumpkins record. Been punched in the face.

The latter as a direct result of the former, yes?

I think it all works best if read backwards

punched someone in the face
taken a stool sample
vandalised a car (qv that other thread)
taken mushrooms (surprising but true)
been sick while zooming down a water slide (sorry, dude behind me at center parcs circa 1989/1990)

there seem to be a worrying number of things i'd like to think i've only done once but palpably haven't.

smoked a cigar
put out a 7" single

and a few of the things upthread

be happy

Drunk weasel-regurgitated coffee.

Watched a 22-inning baseball game.

Watched a baseball game.

Watched a baseball game
Been (indoor) rock climbing
Thrown up in the Indian Ocean
Grown a beard

Drunk weasel-regurgitated coffee.

Is this like, that coffee made out of beans pooped out by some jungle meerkat?

Yes, poop nuggets from a civet. Although a great deal of the £50 it costs for a cup of poopspresso at Peter Jones goes to a charity.

Read a book by Paolo Coelho. Never again.

Punched a girl
Climbed an electrical tower
Acted as a lookout for car stereo thieves
Attended a baseball game
Attended a monster truck rally
Made out with a guy who I thought was a girl
Cooked a lobster
Planted a tree

Most of these are things that I've only done once and would avoid doing again. I'm having trouble thinking of things I've only done once and would like to do again.

Milo, what was your D.A.R. award for?

Visited Chernobyl

the hard stuff

voluntarily gone to the dentist, echoing other thread.

been to Wales
performed 'Crank Dat' at karaoke
been on the radio
phoned an ambulance
drank a beer in the sea
walked over williamsburg bridge
designed a cd cover for money
had a wisdom tooth out
been to Ireland
seen the home team win in a professional football match (having been to maybe 20 ever - not including England games)

Until Wednesday, Filed a Tax Return

Yes, poop nuggets from a civet. Although a great deal of the £50 it costs for a cup of poopspresso at Peter Jones goes to a charity.

No, it's not civet-pooped, it's weasel-regurgitated. I didn't choose those words at random you know!

I did wonder!

got married
got divorced

Oh that leads me to add:

got engaged.

(never got married tho)

Proposed marriage : (

:(

Hey I proposed teh marriage, got accepted, told ppl and then got dumped by email. :/

jesus!

Played the saxophone

Tommy G more like

Won a prize for sport (for "sportmanship", dammit)

a hen fap

rode a rollercoaster (Coney Island Cyclone; never again)

threw a grenade

Been interviewed on radio while on drugs

butchered a cow
took a painting class
got divorced
saw Barry Manilow in concert

rollercoaster
watched a midget on crutches OD in L.A. club
been to New Mexico
been to Portugal
puked in cab
had sex in public park

watched a midget on crutches OD in L.A. club

Who hasn't, really.

Taken MDMA on Christmas Eve (a very bad idea, for anyone who might be thinking of doing the same thing).

puked in cab
had sex in public park

i suppose i could add both of these to mine, too.

although i'd rather not, in either case.

Played cricket

Puked in a cathedral

i once puked on the top deck of a night bus. i might have done that more than once, but i only *remember* doing it once.

xpost. ok. you win.

Had sex during a performance of 'The Seagull' in one of the top loges in the Comédie-Française.

Pissed on the kremlin.

shat on the empire state building

Oh I did this once too:
phoned an ambulance

Played cricket

-- Michael White, Friday, April 18, 2008 3:45 PM (4 minutes ago)

I refuse to believe this. Every day before elevenses you turn over a few trundlers in the nets, surely?

deterred a mugger with physical force

Aha, evidence!!

http://www.btinternet.com/~argee.h/ckt6.jpg

succumbed to a mugger who had physical force

separate incidents

Ken mine's true - I could also add "watched my mate get assaulted by a red army guard for pissing on the kremlin".

I suppose technically I've pissed on the empire state building.

How about puked on other people while in a cathedral? Beat that.

Had sex during a performance of 'The Seagull' in one of the top loges in the Comédie-Française.

It's an interesting approach to staging Chekhov, don't know that I entirely approve of it tho

Pissed on Nelson's Column
Been arrested

(the two were not connected)

mine was also true, mark

Things I wish I'd done exactly once in your life:
Been arrested

your? my, even

the fact that it was a designated shitting area didn't matter.

Been caught with a hash joint in Narita.

Wow, don't they usually lock you up forever for that?

They let me off with a fine which I didn't have the money for - it was a small joint - so my Japanese employer had to come all the way in from Tokyo and pay it. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life.

Making out on the beach in Monte Carlo with the most stunning girl from Mali under a full spring moon.

got arrested
got married
went duck hunting
ate dinner in North Dakota
walked the entire length of Markham Street
witnessed a birth
been baptized
fired a .38

you people sure puke a lot.

Ecstasy
Broke a bone (right arm)
Pierced a nipple
Made out with guy in Graham Coxon's entourage in Camden
Ate sushi purchased for me by Sean Lennon
Been humped on stage by a lame pseudo actor in a bad dinner theatre place in front of my Grandparents at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration
Rode the EL in Chicago
Slept overnight on the street in downtown Toronto at 16 for Smashing Pumpkins tickets, despite not liking SP, because I was a great best friend

Unfortunately I can't think of anywhere special I've puked.

Once and only once, I puked on an ATM machine in the lobby of a 50-storey skyscraper on the day I flew the red-eye home from Vegas and went straight to work.

Once I puked in a bathtub.

I'd like to say "went to work with my underwear on inside at out accidentally," but that's happened three times in the last 5 years.

However last week I did manage to completely forget to put on a bra.

NB I am not nearly as slutty/drunk/punkrock as I sound. These are all things I've only done once. I dabble in punkrock.

been to Milton Keynes.

OMG me too!

I don't wanna go back.

Yeah, I can see why. I went to a nightclub called Golden Flamingos.

The thing about forgetting various undergarments is that life is so much better and more comfortable without them that it's liable to become a habit.

Lady friend at work this week comes up to me on her way out of the restroom: "Holy shit! I've had my pants (trousers) on backwards ALL MORNING! Wtf?"

I sympathized but I really don't see how a guy would ever do that without the aid of tequila.

Got mugged and battered then followed the muggers asking for my phone and wallet back, told them to keep the money, it worked. Was very angry and wanted my things back.

x-post I once wore mismatched shoes to work one day. It was summer and they were sandals that looked very similar. It was pretty funny when I realized what I'd done about 1/2 way through the day. Trousers though - that's impressive!

Gave a man-on-the-street response to a movie for Al Arabiya

had sex in Mississippi

I sympathized but I really don't see how a guy would ever do that without the aid of tequila.

we're not including pyjama pants right?

DMT

No, I meant normal pants, jeans, trousers...

The girl in question had cigarette pants that zipped up the hip and she must not have noticed early in the morning that she was zipping on the other hip, or something, but apart from the difficulty of zipping up pants from behind, I think men's pants would feel a bit, uh, snug up front if worn backwards.

I think women's pants would feel incredibly, totally RONG-O MOOSE worn backwards! I don't I could physically even do that.

*don't think

omg how could I forget -- SPENT A NIGHT IN JAIL!

DMT

-- Drew Daniel, Friday, April 18, 2008 6:38 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

what was it like?

oh sorry, we were about to talk about butts... I totally interrupted the flow there. xpost

got robbed at gunpoint
jumped off a bridge on LSD
met Prince Charles
summited the Matterhorn
seduced a Hare Krishna guy

(not all in sequence, though that would be something)

DMT was disturbing and stationary. No elves for me, though.

RONG-O MOOSE

Is this some obscure Canadian cameltoe reference?

I can't say anything further about the pants without getting into a comparison of relative ass sizes so I'm going to whistle off to lunch.

oh sorry, we were about to talk about butts...

No worries. I merely assumed the ass talk reminded you of jail. ;)

I don't know, my boss says it. I think it's Rocky & Bullwinkle-related?

crack
swam in the Pacific Ocean
got married
beaten up by muggers
ignored trent reznor

ignored trent reznor

another one for me: snubbed prince philip.

the twat.

cocaine

whose that boy who dressed like a nazi and went to fight a war from england??

My hero with th' thin blood

auditioned for a commercial
drank Wild Turkey
sweet-talked my way through Cuban customs

I don't know, my boss says it. I think it's Rocky & Bullwinkle-related?

Nah, not that moose.

Take it from me, the kind of solid marriage material that owns 111 episodes on DVD. :/

I have a box set of Rocky & Bullwinkle, too; birthday gift.

I puked off this bridge once:
http://www.michigan.gov/images/bridge_166545_7.jpg

That's taking forever loading but please tell me it's the Mackinac?

Ah phooey.

oh, puked in the mississippi river at 11 a.m. to the horror and/or delight of some sorority girl tourists nearby.

More puke stuff- I threw up in a trash can in a club once.

related to my last one: been to new orleans.

worked in a factory (when I was about 13)

auditioned as an extra (Fargo)
dated a married woman
been sick drunk
spent a week in the loony bin

been off of North America

posted to ILX!

That's taking forever loading but please tell me it's the Mackinac?

Sadly no indeed. But now I have a new goal for some upcoming Labor Day weekend.

Always glad to help out a Yooper.

i keep reading this as "things you've done exactly right in your life". that would be a much harder thread.

I have a box set of Rocky & Bullwinkle, too; birthday gift.

I have so much rocky and bullwinkle, there's no way i've watched it all. It's like 900,000 hours or something. Season 2 has 52 episodes, all by itself. It is possible, though, that I have watched every installment of Fractured Fairy Tales or whatever the WABAC machine was up to. But see, that's a goal to be achieved. I'm not yet done isolating myself from modern society with these dvds! Woohoo!

Had dinner with David Attenborough
Pissed in an alleyway
Paid good money to see 'Transformers'

swam a rapid

CRACK

Been in the same room with Hunter S. Thompson and Ken Kesey.

herion
skied (sp?)
puked from laughing too hard
threesome
eaten moose (also deer and dog)

oh - i can add dj'ing to my list too.

Stole my bf's fries while he was in the middle of eating them, and threw them box and all over the railing into a river.

I don't know why.

zuh?

Hey I was drunk.

gotten a lapdance
taken a survey
watched an entire superbowl
been hugged by jason forrest

Been caught wanking by my grandmother

i love throwing things into rivers

Buried a parent.
Been carried around a room by Evan Dando.
Been searched for drugs by police.
Critiqued the Sunday papers on BBC News 24.
Heckled the serving coach of the Minnesota Vikings.
Shared credit for lyrics on a song with Kim Gordon.
Dissed a Tory MP for her insufficient appreciation of feminism while on a discussion panel.

<3 jhos knows the score.

Been yelled at by a policeman for crossing train tracks by foot.

Been to Wyoming
Been to Colorado

marriage/procreation
surgery
handcuffs

Caught peeing in a hedge by police

asked 5-0 to show me id.

this was quite plucky for a drunk 17-y-o

Written and sent a love letter.

Been in hospital

Had my left lens removed from my eye.
Had my right lens removed from my eye.

Been caught wanking by my grandmother
i laughed so much at this, it made my hangover go!

Been stabbed, stabbed someone who stabbed me with their knife!

whoah!

that requires elaboration!