when you see someone REALLY CUTE on the street/some random place and don't know what to do about it

Is that a fisheye in your pocket or are you just pleased to meet me?

and then sometimes you make that prolonged eye contact in passing -- the odd, why-are-you-looking-at-me moment. do you break out into a big grin? wave? stop them and give them your business card?

also i feel it's a different ball game for same-sex-flirtations. is it OK to risk humiliating your homosexual self?

I have no idea for same-sex stuff, but as a general rule, a straightforward approach seems best. "Hi. So you're out taking pictures today. Is it a hobby of yours? What kind of camera is that?" and so on. It's probably going to go nowhere, but that's the nature of random flirtations. Better to have an awkward conversation and walk away then obsess about it for the rest of the day. Who really cares, right? And who knows, maybe you'll actually hit it off.

BTW, I used to suck at this, but I'm now married and don't do it anymore.

then=than

yah i'm thinking you're right

(easier said than done)

Oh and the camera thing is a much better opening than most. If you've got no obvious topic to broach, then it's harder. Bottom line is that you want to express interest in the person and start a conversation without being creepy. That's hard to do sometimes, but you just have to go for it.

Haha, I totally sucked at this and almost never did it.

xpost

"Hope you've saved some of that turkey for me."

i know, the camera was my opening. blast it.

Yeah, that's the the thing. It's not that you'll probably ever actually pick someone up this way, it's more about not kicking yourself for the rest of the day.

truth

my friend advises a casual "hey there" if in passing. this never occurred to me. all this time i've been trying to communicate with the oh-so-subtle smile.

(which i'm not sure if it ends up looking like i have a sinus cold or something)

If the "hey there" is deliverd with breezy confidence and is uttered from a chilsed countenance, the maybe. Otherwise probably not.

so many things to consider

chiseled countenance, I meant.

got it

this is e.g., springtime

ugh i know. it's the time.

season of the hey-there-u-r-cute smile but not nec any follow thru

but follow thru and man oh man

this thread OTM

i had this friend in junior high who once decided to challenge herself to do things like this on a regular basis to boost her boldness

she would just start talking to random guys. it really worked for her but i think she became kind of a slut.

season of the hey-there-u-r-cute smile but not nec any follow thru

-- rrrobyn, Sunday, April 27, 2008 10:42 PM (46 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

but is that really so bad? xpost

i don't think so

surmounter you are a hottie so just go up and say hi - dude will stunned that such a babe is talking to him.

my only answer right now is something like 'nice bike/camera/dog/etc' + fingers crossed

rubes i need you like the little angel on my shoulder when i'm out and about

http://www.bargainfancydress.co.uk/media/images/product_category/21757.jpg

aaaahahaha

ask if he was the dude taking pics at the bar/club/party/opening you were at last month cause it was way fun and you wished you knew where you could get those pics cause you're a fun guy who's out and about all the time. oh that wasnt you? he kind of looked like you. so what kind of photog work do you do then? etc.

if a guy wearing lip gloss came up to me w/a new zealander perched on his shoulder and complimented me I would be extremely happy, though possibly not for "I wanna bang u" reasons

see i've thought about this too, the fabricate-a-white-lie thing. it really doesn't seem like a bad idea

yeah its not like there's only a handful of photographers in NYC

that suggestion sounds a bit :-)ish, grady

ask if he was the dude taking pics at the bar/club/party/opening you were at last month cause it was way fun and you wished you knew where you could get those pics cause you're a fun guy who's out and about all the time. oh that wasnt you? he kind of looked like you. so do you know my friend hopper? etc.

gr8080's idea is pretty awesome. that could totally work.

surmounter is he still out there, even??

sooo i was just discussing the best way to approach you with some friends on the internet and uh anyway plz vote in this online poll here yah just click vote there u go

HAHAHA YES

this is what the iphone wireless handset device was invented for

no he's totally gone. xcept now there's a concert happening so i'm sure there'll be like 20 more of these on my walk home. wish me luck

you'd better come back with all 20.

eww

the more the merrier

ok i said hi to 20 boys and no one came home with me

lol justine! gettin raunchy

i gotta live vicariously for the next two months :/

ah, see, i suspected as much

20 boys in a room is dirty

i mean sometimes dirty is good, i'm just sayin

uh huh... how would the bf feel about you bringing home 20? i'm sure he'd be cool with 2 or 3... but 20? could be pushing your luck.

i don't know he's naughtier than me, as a rule. he'd prolly break out the beer and dim the lights

general mills likes to marshal his forces...

ya he's good. right now he's watching Sleeping With The Enemy.

that movie is scary - julia roberts, right?

ya it is scary

justine i need to lose weight for slut swimsuit season

dude i haven't worn a swimsuit in something like 15 years

hahaha i hate them so much

i think i maybe wore a bikini top about 6 summers ago, when i was 10kg lighter

don't lose weight, just tone up a bit

ugh i hate sit-ups

don't tone up then, just take a marker and add some definition.

Hohoho... I am proud to show everyone my lovestick which is as big as the baseball bat.

i mean, what do you do? there's this really cute guy on the steps outside work, taking pictures.

-- Surmounter, Sunday, 27 April 2008 23:03 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

I was out and about with my camera and a girl came over and just asked what I was taking pics off and whether it was a job or a hobby. I was completely fine with it and didn’t for one moment think it was weird. Actually I was quite pleased as she was very nice looking.

this brings me faith

see i've thought about this too, the fabricate-a-white-lie thing. it really doesn't seem like a bad idea

I don't know about this. Some dude, as a lead-in to asking for my number, pulled this on me at the gym recently: "Don't I know you from somewhere?" I walked right into it. As I was suggesting that maybe he had seen me where I work or something, I realized that he was completely full of it!

I would think it's a much safer bet to approach someone and just be friendly, or if they have a camera or are walking a dog or something, use that to spark a conversation. But I've always been way too shy to try anything like this!

Oops! First line should be italicized:

see i've thought about this too, the fabricate-a-white-lie thing. it really doesn't seem like a bad idea

Surmounter, hothouse flirt

The safe thing to do, of course, is nothing.

Surmounter, it's not females that have to deal with the harsh rejections, it's only males.

The safe thing to do, of course, is nothing.

Yeah, that'll get you everywhere in life!

So how about a customer at work? How do I approach that one? At my grocery store job the conversations never really get past "chili beans are in isle 4 just past the canned mushrooms and pizza sauce". And somehow I think amending that with "p.s. boi-oi-oi-oi-oing" wouldn't really work.

After that I'm outta ideas.

not_goodwin, surmounter is a boy - that's why he was nervous in the first place!

Ahhhhhh, well guys reactions will always be the same, i've been chatted up by guys and i'm always been polite and said i'm flattered but i'm straight.

not_goodwin, it's worked for me so far.

ok this is still happening

i think i'm gonna start just running people down and introducing myself

like sprinting.

People like to make new friends.

Although they'll think you're weird for doing this; I know, because they think I'm weird for doing this.

imagine us together! frightening.

it's true ppl do like to make new friends... good point

I wd think anyone was weird for doing this. But that is a post v much in character.

what CAN one do? especially if you're old, like me.

I got caught staring by a hot male couple near Dupont Circle in DC a couple years ago, and once busted, we all just shrugged and laughed at each other. It wd've been too mortifying to ask if they did threeways.

omgosh i know. there's the most BEAUTIFUL couple who live 2 doors down from us. i swear, these boys, it's like they're both models. and they both seem really fucking cool too. and they have an adorable little puppy! i just wanna go over there with a bottle of wine and be like HI can i be your friend??

and every time i see either one of them i'm like loitering on the corner for too long craning my neck. one of them jogs -- he looks great in his little white tee. ugh.

honestly what's my in gonna be? i should do some performance art on the sidewalk or something

guy at cafe with hitler mustache was eyeing me up and down. so of course my response is to nervously look away and then check out the beverage cooler. wtf.

also it's not like i'm looking for a boyfriend, so what am i gonna do just give him my number and hope he's easy? terrible

http://www.johnnymercer.com/FAQ/Long%20Goodbye%20Lyrics.htm

just be all like "hey guy, i like your tactless facial hair"

Obviously the answer to the original question is whine about it at length.

There's a cafe if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody with Hitler's moustache
So you go and get eyed up and down
And you look at the drinks
And you go home and you cry and you want to whine

TS: whining vs. making your move and getting shot down

Guys are pretty easy to pick up, most are delighted when random girls start talking to them.

xp, i have to tell you, i experienced the latter recently and i wanted to stay in bed for days

Welcome to the world of guys. Most of the outgoing ladies men out there have been shot down thousands of times.

Or mens' men.

yeah, you would hate being straight, surmounter.

xp

um, i can't even imagine

One time my gay friend came to a party and whispered he'd had sex with a girl. I was quite drunk and therefore quite loud and started shouting like, "WHOA, WHAT WAS PUSSY LIKE? YOU FUCKED A GIRL?" I feel like a jackass still.

Hey, I'm straight and it's still a worthy question.

it's beautiful, man.

Abbott, I only know you from your posts here, but I don't think you have a lot to worry about.

feel a bit depressed because they are way out of my league and pretend i didn't even notice them.

that's one of my least favorite feelings ever

well, i'm used to it now...

standard operating procedure once you reach over 40 (or about 29 in gay years)

i'm 27 and have always felt that way!

hitting on people while on public means of transport e.g. bus = the worst

the eye contact thing is funny, I find on the tube in London there is constantly that weird frisson of eye contact with people, it's sort of insane. y'day some girl like rolled her eyes at me in an almost chastising way but I hadn't actually been looking at her and then I was like "does she think I fancied her or is she doing this because she fancies me"...I didn't fancy her anyway so I was glad to get off the train.

I am not v good at holding eye contact, it kind of freaks me out.

this is why i am protesting for (ugly) men's rights aganist the feminazis.

http://www.zazzle.com/mensrightsguy

>standard operating procedure once you reach over 40 (or about 29 in gay years)

ouch!- but must note this doesnt apply to everyone (remember there are youngins who find older men MORE attractive than stupid twinks) (also the hegemony of 18-25 Aberzombies is ex. boring)

i don't trust people who try to pull someone into a stare, dudes who are like "yeah that's right, i'm not looking away. am i not handsome?"

y'day some girl like rolled her eyes at me in an almost chastising way but I hadn't actually been looking at her and then I was like "does she think I fancied her or is she doing this because she fancies me"...I didn't fancy her anyway so I was glad to get off the train.

― Local Garda, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 23:42

this is why when i even see anything vaguely girl-shaped in the corner of my eye i look the other way.

why can't we just take it back to "my mate fancies you" 13 y/o style? easier for everyone involved.

x-post yeah tho there are those rare occasions where you stare at someone and it kind of becomes mutually obvious both people are staring and it's okay...

people who believe in the concept of "way out of my league" must not know any actual couples.

when this happens to me the question is more "uhhh so are they gay?" and as london has made my gaydar completely malfunction that's where it all ends.

hmmm... i would say generally most couples seem to be of roughly similar attractiveness, you tend to see tall, good looking athletic men with attractive women. there are exceptions i guess.

most hot girls i know aren't with hot guys, they're just with dudes who know how to dress and don't have the fear. as a dude who wasn't completely skilled at picking up women i'm pretty lucky that my gf of almost 3 yrs basically picked me up.

(x-post)

oops, sorry

Dr C's friend's rating theory of couples' attractiveness is quite interesting

i basically have this song in my head whenever i'm in public:

i can definitely understand!!!

dmx has mellowed, definitely

It's tons of fun being basically petrified by normal social interaction, you bet.

It's better to regret something that you HAVE done, than to regret something that you HAVEN'T done.

The pain of rejection ends quickly, compared to wondering what MIGHT have happened had you spoken to this person.

Grow a spine and introduce yourself and be real. You have NOTHING to lose!

I do it all the time, and if I get blown off, my crush dissipates rapidly.

yup.

that said, others usually initiate. attractive boys scare the fuck out of me.

you all need my help

i mean, i definitely initiate at times, but i am usually in the tipsy phase at the gay bar i frequent. has ended both well and not-so-well, but it made me feel much sexier when i initiated.

that seems to be a part of it, i think, for me. maybe for most people-- even if rejection occurs, it makes me feel sexy that i asked, and then it sort of makes me feel/look sexier. so.

why can't we just take it back to "my mate fancies you" 13 y/o style? easier for everyone involved.

this happened to me at a bar last week. i was flattered but otoh, i started wondering if i maybe seem unapproachable myself?

It's better to regret something that you HAVE done, than to regret something that you HAVEN'T done.

Yeah, in theory this sounds right, but then, which people are the ones who always say this? And the ones who don't believe it generally have lots of lingering painful experiences of rejection and failure to prove the opposite and a distinct lack of success as well. But, in principle you are correct, I can only assume.

(yeah yeah, in before "grow some balls, pussy")

and if you see yr mom this weekend be sure and tell her SATAN SATAN SATAN

i regret a lot of things that i haven't done, and it sucks

friend of mine seems absolutely fearless w/this. we were sitting at a cafe and he just suddenly turns to the girl sitting at the next table and asks her about her book. just blam. she seemed charmed, tho, and it works for him, so you know

me, tho, i'm crazy and farting all the time so no one ever wants to chat

dogg u srsly gotta do something about that name

:-/

i still giggle at your screen name

lol <3 xp

lol when Obama was wrapping up his speech today with this:

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

i totally wanted the next line to be:

"I like to fart and am Crazy."

"and if you see yr mom this weekend be sure and tell her SATAN SATAN SATAN"

I've learned all sorts of healthy dating habits from the Butthole Surfers.

did james blunt start this thread?

yeah, but he had a plan!

when you see someone REALLY CUTE on the street/some random place and don't know what to do about it?

just sigh and get on with your day...

friend of mine seems absolutely fearless w/this. we were sitting at a cafe and he just suddenly turns to the girl sitting at the next table and asks her about her book. just blam. she seemed charmed, tho, and it works for him, so you know

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Wednesday, 21 January 2009 05:25 (Yesterday) Permalink

oh man that's swell for him, this is the kind of thing i don't do yet

Surmounter, aren't you with someone?! Yeesh, some people . . .

j/k

word

Those promiscuous gays, man, I tell ya.

ah man i saw this really cute guy at the gap today (lol) and it was basically just me and him trying on sweaters near each other but i didn't say anything to him even though we were eyeing

http://www.buggsbooks.com/images/reynolds76.jpg

these elfin creatures can do it, so can you! just talk to him.

haaaappy summer!

honestly, you should've seen this guy at the visitors entrance at work this morning. i got so flustered looking for my ID.

Shoulda grabbed a card and written your phone number on it, Surm. :-)

word, baby steps :)

haaaappy summer!

― I love rainbow cookies (surm), Friday, July 10, 2009 9:20 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

maybe for you

second day in a row leering at dude in cafe. sat in the exact same seats both times, too

Oh, Tehresa, this is the thread. You were right.

So how do you talk to a stranger you want to talk to? Whenever I do it it's always uncomfortably forward, I think.

And finding it I saw that Surmounter starts the coolest threads.

p.s.
So next time you're thinking of making a thread about how to rescue the princess from the castle, Mario, keep this in mind: there really aren't any shortcuts when it comes to socialization and women. If you're awkward you're making it hard on yourself, if you don't know a girl well enough to add her or message her on Facebook don't do it. So much of what relationship threads amount to is ignoring these basic social rules. This doesn't just go for this board, this also applies to all the other places where guys ask for online help in the realm of women.

I read some strong real talk on this subject not too long ago, and I think it would be useful here:

And while I'm dishing out the pro-tips: keep this in mind when meeting women on the street.

Most people, but especially women, do not know how to communicate on the street. They weren't raised on the road. They think winks, waves, and gallant tips of the hat are bigger deals than they are and there's a strong chance they won't know what or how to respond to you, even if you muttered something witty, friendly or approving as you did so. They just don't know how to do urban communication as well as most guys (yet).

So even if a girl likes you, she may not know how to respond to your witty and cute halloo if she doesn't know you well enough online first. So the lesson to be learned is not to force things with women you haven't obsessively facebook-stalked first. Be patient, IM them at least thrice an evening and let them get an idea of who you are and what your favourite music is before you go baring your whites at 2:45 in the afternoon.

If you friend-add a girl before you write her then your saunter or wall-lean has your personality in it, and not that of some random guy that's ogling. It makes things much easier for her. Keep that in mind: if you make the ordeal easy for the girl things will go easier for you.

...

The truth is that if you are unsure of talking to a girl or even crossing to be on the same side of the road as her it's because you have yet to reach the advanced stage in The Game where it's cool to do that. You have more work to do (either in social skills or road traffic awareness) and no amount of dental floss is going to change that. If you have to ask for help then you're already in over your head, and bound to make the Big Mistake, if not now, then when you look around and stare at her ass while she walks away.

So next time you're thinking of making a thread about how to rescue the princess from the castle, Mario, keep this in mind: there really aren't any excuses when it comes to socialization and women. If you're awkward you're making yourself a public laughing-stock, if you don't know a girl well enough, add her or message her on Facebook repeatedly until you do. So much of what relationship threads amount to is contradicting these basic social rules. This doesn't just go for this board, this also applies to all the other places where guys ask for face-to-face help in the realm of the senses.

xpost!!

I put it in italics, yo!

my retelling was all written by the time your enterprise came to light imo!

Ohhh. Yeah. I dunno. I emailed this girl from my class out of the blue and it was a weird-ish email, sure, but I'm not really about her anyway. I was all like, Wanna be my friend and introduce me to people because I'm new in town? She hasn't written back and I see her in class tomorrow, but I don't think that I'll be embarrassed, I guess because I don't like her enough? Or that I don't have a crush on her at all and I sort of meant what I said about being friends. But I DO wonder just what to say to stranger you want to talk to.

Also regarding the email girl: none of my classmates in my group are good at emailing back either, so it's sort of a broader cultural thing, possible.

That is really confusing advice if you don't know the 'person on the street''s name and also v. unlikely to be able to get away with running home to my pc to cyberstalk them and hope they are in the same place by the time i get back to say hey.

You mean that quoted advice? Man I'm really just talking about talking to someone, saying hi, what's your name, what is the book you're reading?

But this girl, I just had her email. Although the few times I've "cyberstalked" it's been, like, three clicks and I'm there at yr Myspace page and what are you gonna do about it?

(Twice the answer was go on a date.)

xp - I met my bf of 11 years on the street. He came up to me and wanted to read the back of my leather jacket, and we had a long conversation about various things, and he asked for my address so he could send me a copy of a video he made. Several months go by, and he invites me to his art opening, and I go, and then things developed from there.

That is darn heartening. I guess. Maybe I'm pretending I care about this issue, to myself and ilx. But I have been thinking lately that I should try to channel my 9th grade self and talk to any old body for any old reason and see what comes of it.

i like waving to girls who look into the shop where i work.
two of them waved back today!

otoh last night i was out with a friend of mine, who i have a very mild crush on (largely whiskey induced imo) and there was no way to move from our conversation abt how awesome autumn is to like, you know, trying to make out or anything. so i just didn't do anything. it's easier with strangers i think, cuz if you fuck it up then it's not like you're risking a friendship.

xp - he was wearing a bat boy from the weekly world news t-shirt ... (why I still remember this, I dunno), until he mentioned a past girlfriend, I had assumed he was gay, because this was San Francisco.

i have met my last two girlfriends because of ilx btw o_o

to Ian:
Man! Man. I remember going to this favorite Mexican restaurant of mine with a friend and sort of flirting with this waitress, who said she had gone to school for AV, editing and production. She said I was a smart ass, and I thought, She is flirting with me, she likes me, because I'm not a smart ass and who would say that but someone who likes me. And she came into the store one day and I talked with her some more and invited her to a party I was throwing. Then a couple of weeks later she brought in her boyfriend (never came to the party) and didn't say anything. And I was thinking, You don't even live on this side of town, do you? Are you making a point to me?

Yeah, sheesh. At least, Ian, you live in a pretty populous region.

A different, enviable region.

But I bet that girl likes you.

that doesn't mean she wasn't flirting with you ...

Yeah, it doesn't. I was hopeful.

Bat boy. Because that's totally memorable, that's why you remembered it.

I have a feeling I'll meet a girl this semester, or a few girls, but will not necessarily like any of them and feel sort of bad about starting anything in the first place.

Hopeful because the alternative is to assume no one ever is.

did she know where you work? or was it a random occurence? xp 2 bryce

that's a lot of xposts, sorry, i got distracted by shirley collins.

also, most girls are awful imo. i am super picky :(

And I think I was just saying, OK, I get it, I get it, but really why are you on this side of town? It was really just one of those situations where you don't know, you'll never get to find out.

I had this girlfriend who was dating someone and we went on a fake date. She was just like, in her head, "Oh, I forgot I have a boyfriend." We dated a year later. I had another girlfriend who . . . I dunno, she sort of waited a year until her boyfriend, my formerly very close friend, had cheated on her and then she called me three thousand miles away and was like, "Blah." If I don't ever wonder in the optimistic direction I won't ever get anywhere.

Ian, I don't know if she knew? I forget. It was an issue with this one girl one time, who was like, "It's just perfect that you work here. It just fits." She broke my heart. Yeah, I think the waitress knew somehow.

It's not "most girls are awful," it's most people are awful. Which really means "boring," not awful. People are all right. But, yeah, I'm picky too. Possibly more now than ever before.

There's this half-Japanese girl, no kidding, who I sat next to for a summer semester but never learned her name. I've had a couple of daydreams lately about introducing myself and shooting the shit with her. She was sort of obnoxiously talkative, but in a way I have to admit would probably grow on me.

Plus she has a great voice.

If I had a single friend like you, Ian, and I had a crush on her, I think I totally would've written her a love letter by now.

I think you have to get pickier as you get older, you know. Learning from your mistakes and all that.

xp, oh god, voices.
One of the sales people I deal with at a certain unnamed music distributor has the CUTEST VOICE, and she called today to remind me of a pre-order we'd placed for some singles, and I just wanted to ask her to marry me. Even tho she's on the other side of the country.

I have never written a love letter in my life! Too shy.

oh god i just found that salesperson on facebook o_o

Yeah, voices. God damn, don't remind me of certain voices. Why did I even remind myself? That is a tiny bit, appealingly heartbreaking.

I have written too many love letters at this stage. They don't work, by the way. At all. Girls just get confused by them, and go through all these stages. Salinger used to write them for his friends, and himself. Apparently they didn't work for him or his friends, either.

IS SHE CUTE?

I think my new thing in romance will be to stop homewrecking.

she seems pretty cute!
and, despite that other thread about internetting and facebook, i sent her a friend request lol

actual lol

stalkerrific!

i am a high class fellow, doctor morbius.

place more orders ...

I just read this William Gass story called "The Master of Secret Revenges" and in it this guy can see these flags in people's chests, like these linen scarves flapping, and they're their, um, goodness, I guess? Their consciences or purity or something. And I was thinking How convenient it would be if we didn't have to all dick around wondering and doing complicated social dance steps figuring out Do you even like me, Do I even like you, Is this worth figuring out.

xpost lol

people are a lot of work :(

is this how the hanky code evolved?

Haha. Yellow in the back pocket means . . .

By the way, there was a lot of pee in the story.

I have got my ex-gf convinced I am a pee man because of a few recent comments.

I wish I were more like other people a little more because this social stuff would be easier. If I only drank alcohol, it would simplify things so much.

i know a guy who has actually told people that he's a poo-smearer not a poo-eater ...

he also goes to AA and NA meetings to pick up chicks ...

sounds like a cool dude, got his number?

people are a lot of work :(

― ian, Friday, September 11, 2009 1:17 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

uh, no ... he used to live in my friend's garage and dated his mom's best friend

I generally neglect people for that reason. xp

did he smear her with poo? xp

Oh, I know a pee guy. At least, based on one incident - no, two, if you include one where I was present, but was explained differently - but I find the whole thing hilarious and endearing.

xp

leapfrog

lol

i don't know ... i don't even know whether he does the pooing or if he just smears his partner's poo ...

Neglect people, Morbs? Like your friends and family or what?

xpost lol again! scatology is funny

i also never asked if he's into diapers as well ...

I hadn't thought of that angle.

he was dating his mother's best friend ...who had known him since he was a little kid.

Well!

bam, I just mean I don't date regularly, by choice.

I should have a quota to make, a stranger talking quota. 50,000 students in my school, I can pull this off.

xpost, oh. Okay. Well, it's that not by choice thing that . . . actually, how's the not-by-choice dating working for you?

Morbs just flirts with dudes at bars and leaves them with blue balls. trust me i know. ;)

yes, talk to two new girls each week!

iltmi

xpost Okay, 2 new girls each week. It's a deal.

bam, it has its advantages. The big disadvantage is I may not find a job for a year and I need someone to support me.

Gosh I'm going to have a lot to think about at night when I think about what I should've said differently and what went wrong. And then all those palpitations when I'm on campus and I see someone, some near stranger who things I'm a crepe.

xpost you may not find a job because of involuntary dating? Or you mean that you are going to depend on someone you don't want to depend on . . .

dude, you can't worry about what people think about you. you'll never get the sweet ass that way.

no, I may not find a job cuz there aren't any.

xpost "sweet ass" - I am not that kind of person but I can try to be.

haha, i'm not either but i like to pretend.

just want someone to hold hands with while we watch alien: the directors cut ;_;

When we say that people need hugs and we want to give them, I think often we just want to order people around whom they'd fancy to hug those people who need the hugs.

lol at Aliens comment. I would probably not be so chaste in that situation.

xp ian: that is adorable ... me and my bf have done this - the entire quadrilogy actually.

I was thinking of Morbs, re hugs. I was thinking about that! Like, worldwide sexual/romantic fulfillment. I don't think of world peace. I think of everyone coming sufficiently and being held.

"coming sufficiently"

hmmm.

this means like once a year right??

Depends on the customer, I guess.

It's like when I was 20 and I used to feel like listening to all of my records all at the same time, and being able to enjoy them all. It's an unattainable wish.

I'm at a new stage relating to records, I just sort of hate them and can scarcely listen to pop music and wish everything were either Gershwin piano rolls or Erik Satie.

at this point i only really love fiddle music & robert ashley.

sorry for de-railing this thread with emo.

to get back on topic, my friend amy just told me that she had a beautiful, single english woman (28) staying with her BUT DID NOT INTRODUCE ME. damnit.

Alien (the first one) is a bore.

Have you heard that Abner Jay reissue on Mississippi? It's weird. Like, drumming Hasil Adkins one-man-band-style, but sounding like Moe Tucker, and then a hybrid of folk-blues-pop styles (with a country & western song or two, almost like Sons of the Pioneers, one of them) that doesn't really settle anywhere.

Well. It's been nice getting to know you Sarahel and Ian! I'm going to finish my homework. Now I know more about you both. And Morbs. And Country Matters. So uplifting, this message board tonight.

xpost Well. Yeah I had this friend and I was DJing her party and I said, "Is Jill Chr1stm4s single?" and she sort of sneered like it was inappropriate to ask. Have never ever been set up by a friend or anyone.

MORBS DAMN THAT'S HERESY

OK homework.

yeah dog, the abner jay reissue is great! okay i am gonna split too, get outta the house and enjoy this beautiful autumn weather we're having in nyc.

and yeah, alien rules dude.

just want someone to hold hands with while we watch alien: the directors cut ;_;

http://thumbnails.hulu.com/8/700/25211_512x288_manicured__hvnWtv68FUq-fLikbxyMZA.jpg

"So this is what it feels like...when doves cry"

Is there a 'people on ilx who are awesome' thread? because accidentally bookmarking this thread makes me want to nominate ian and bam.

uber-hot guy walks by me with his girlfriend(?) and i just feel it, he's gonna look at me. and he does. right in the eyes - a shard of a moment in the brooklyn night. he is probably drinking beer with his girl now, talking about funny things.

;_;

I usually talk to them, not being some aspie shut-in and all.

nice

really eloquently put

xxp

That would be rather presumptive and not really (alas) acceptable if you are attracted to members of your own sex.

this happens to me all the time so I usually find some aspect of their appearance to savagely misinterpret so as to kill further interest i.e. she was wearing aviators she must be a super trendy hipster type REJECT

oh god this thread ... *sigh*

there were three REALLY CUTE servers at this chinese buffet I went to today, and I convinced myself that they probably all had terrible english, when in fact they didn't, and it was really mean of me to think that, but what else could I do... thinking about them now adfjalfgkjafljga;

i do this too dyao

i'm like oh he looks like he has bad breath

waht!?

What?

i was waht-ing myself for being so inventive with regard to excuses

Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\

I'm glad to see Darwinism is going strong then.

What the fuck is your problem?

Excuse me?

yea there's a bit of douche to your textual tone bro

Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Not interested or b) Maybe interested but soon-to-be repulsed in the event of actual conversation.

I have very high self-esteem.

also i think the fact that i'm having this conversation on a saturday night in nyc pretty much says it all.

I tend to talk to 'hot girls' as a) their loss if they aren't interested and b) who cares, not like I'll ever see them again.

props, that's a good way of looking at it

Try it, confidence is attractive.

yea but it can get pretty ugly if it borders on self-contentment

Again you're giving a fuck what others think.

no i'm not, i just don't it attractive. confidence is one thing, attitudinal self-satisfaction is another.

also fyi, it's not strange to feel shy at times. it's like, a survival strategy. you're not an "aspie shut-in" bc you don't approach random strangers on your way to the market.

Pfft have fun with your issues then, I'll continue to plow through market hotties or something.

haha wow u really are a douche!

thx for the lecture, in any event. take care!

a v sat night thread.......

Thankfully the term douche (along with crystal meth) hasn't taken hold in the UK, yet...

the term "troll" should be somewhat familiar, however.

Well you probably hear it enough in real life.

srsly, nothing worse than people telling you to "try being confident, it's hot"

REALLY, arsehole, why didn't i think of that! u must get all the girls, with your winning brand of condescension and conceit.

darramouss if u gonna troll and least either be funny or post pix

Are you just sitting there with a dictionary open trying various words for dramatic effect?

...

is this guy for real?

Hey I gave you realistic advice, self harm isn't a turn on.

ignore it surm...not worth responding.

k <3

lol that Darramouss thinks people need to flip thru a dictionary to find the very elite words "condescension and conceit"

But it's got four syllables

FOUR

BAN DARRAMOUS
― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, March 6, 2007 4:27 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

darramouss, darramouss, will you do the fandango?

Pfft have fun with your issues then, I'll continue to plow through market hotties or something

should be on board description shortlist tbf

so, to get back on topic, i saw a cute girl (looked maybe 22) walking down the street with a star wars tattoo. i told her it was a wonderful tattoo and she gave me a look like "whatever creep." it was pretty awesome.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3327/3436180721_98cea17d84_o.jpg
under her left collarbone.

lol

btw after this thread happened last night i got laid

Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\
Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\
Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\
Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\
Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\
Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\
Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight, or b) Taken. :\

if u gonna troll and least either be funny
if u gonna troll and least either be funny
if u gonna troll and least either be funny
if u gonna troll and least either be funny
if u gonna troll and least either be funny
if u gonna troll and least either be funny

either

and at

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a82/bobbysixer/shakesheadfail.gif

fail notwithstanding, point stands. where have all the funny trolls gone?

Whenever I see a hot guy I assume he is: a) Straight Gay, or b) Taken. :\

Whenever I see a hot woman, I assume she's a lousy conversationalist with nothing to offer.

haha i think i do that too and i feel guilty about it kinda!

Whenever I see a hot woman, I assume I'm a lousy conversationalist with nothing to offer.

^^^

you guys are fine.

Whenever I see a lousy woman, I assume she's a hot conversationalist with nothing to offer.

with vermin to offer, surely?

sometimes you see a beautiful girl and it just ruins your day completely.
-- jess

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, December 13, 2003 7:06 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

when i see a hot woman...

...IM LOOKING AT MY GIRLFRIEND

OWNED

aw

max - you don't leave the house much?

whenever I see a hot woman...

...IM LOOKING AT MAXS MOM

sometimes you see a beautiful girl and it just ruins your day completely.
-- jess

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, December 13, 2003 7:06 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― i maybe does drugs (rip van wanko), Sunday, July 18, 2010 8:24 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark

well, girl guy

lol surm - yeah, the only way seeing a beautiful girl ruins my day completely is if she is obviously the gf/wife of totally hot guy

hahaha yes

or even a not totally hot guy - like the guy could be really cute in an idiosyncratic way that you feel you may be unique in appreciating & think "wait, this one might actually be in my league" - but he is obviously attached to this totally hot chick

yeah in-your-league guys pairin up with total hotties is like a slap in the face

makes you question what league you're actually in tbh

Whenever I see a hot guy I observe he is: a) with his girlfriend and b) pushing a stroller. :\

srsly h8 my nabe

lamp - i live right near a Whole foods - it's a hot guy w/gf pushing a stroller mecca

nothing like a hot dad tho tbf

these baby stroller pushers, when i picture them they do not seem cute like at all

not if you don't want kids, or feel like entertaining the thought that maybe the kid will be hot and maybe you'll still be single by the time said kid grows up ...

xp - they tend to be cute in a preppyish kinda way, and some are aging hipsters that are more cleaned up than when they were younger - if that's not what you're into, then ...

for whatever reasons, they almost all wear glasses

or pale blue shirts

business blue, weekend edition

where have all the funny trolls gone?

A sequel song to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnB3CHwPipU

So next time you're thinking of making a thread about how to rescue the princess from the castle, Mario, keep this in mind: there really aren't any shortcuts when it comes to socialization and women. If you're awkward you're making it hard on yourself, if you don't know a girl well enough to add her or message her on Facebook don't do it. So much of what relationship threads amount to is ignoring these basic social rules. This doesn't just go for this board, this also applies to all the other places where guys ask for online help in the realm of women.

I think the reason this hits so close to home is that if you're an introspective, shy, or intellectual type, the tendency is to think you can rationalize or (over)think your way past social difficulties.

A dim person will at least understand that there's no risk-free way to approach people and ask them out, but somebody who's a bit too smart for their own good (in this situation) will overthink things like breaking the ice, flirting, dating rules etc.

It's much like how great actors are, quite usually, dolts. An intelligent or bookish person is more likely to be self-conscious and over-analytical, while a simpleton just listens and takes direction.

sometimes you see a beautiful girl and it just ruins your day completely.
-- jess

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, December 13, 2003 7:06 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― i maybe does drugs (rip van wanko), Sunday, July 18, 2010 8:24 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark

― janice (surm), Sunday, July 18, 2010 8:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Whenever I see a hot woman, I assume I'm a lousy conversationalist with nothing to offer.

― goth (crüt), Sunday, July 18, 2010 7:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

etc

Whenever I see a hot woman I AM LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

oh come on someone had to.

o, this thread

not if you don't want kids, or feel like entertaining the thought that maybe the kid will be hot and maybe you'll still be single by the time said kid grows up ...

I loled

but trayce isn't it winter in oz?

still too hot for goths

Goths In Hot Weather to thread

Always too hot for goths.

Until they finally get their wish & the sun disappears.

guy and his dog on a bench outside the market. perfect guy, perfect dog, perfect london-weather-like day.

i came up with, "excuse me do u know what time it is by any chance?"

"12 30"

then i gave his dog, who could sense my fondness and nuzzled up against my arm, a quick pet and a smile, and walked away in the wistful august mist

damn. girl in the corner at big bear, i couldn't help but glance at her about 1000000x times, just left.

:-/ she's like the synthesis of every possible thing that really attracts me

i did everything in my disposal to try to get a glance back from her - i put my arms on top of my head, i put my jacket on, i took my jacket off, i walked by her to get water a few times, i got up to get napkins, i got up to put my plate away, i got up to get one more napkin, i tied my shoes in her direction. dammit.

stomp over after forty five minutes DID YOU THINK I WAS PUTTING MY LIPBALM ON FOR MYSELF what are you lady blind

just use the Kramer method, slap the table and start yelping

she is already gone. and of course she had to walk down the street looking all REALLY CUTE and stuff

sigh

sometimes you see someone that is so cute the it kinda hurts

That's how I've always felt about Rhett Miller.

sometimes? puh-lease girl, talk about every day

i felt like doing a logroll across her feet just to get a reaction

LOOK AT ME

dogs have the right idea dude

just walk up and start humping?

i have a ltd. understanding of dogs tbh

they do the logroll!

my grandpa's dog continued to hump my leg even after he was neutered. those are my main memories of the ideas that dogs have

I know this sounds crazy but I'm thinking of trying to maybe ... smile at people once in a while? I'll report back if I get the nerve.

smile/hi is a real winner of a combination

i tried to smile but i'm pretty sure it came out like this

http://rickscottsucks.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/480px-Rickscotthead.jpg

haaaay

Are you waiting for her to talk to you? Look at you? What are you waiting for?

any girl who doesnt notice ZS is a fool for def

at least it didn't come out like this

http://meltingbutter.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/lawyer3.jpg

she left a long time ago. there was also the problem that she had some sort of ring on but i couldn't tell which finger it was on because i can't see and i was already staring like a lunatic

:)

she left a long time ago. there was also the problem that she had some sort of ring on but i couldn't tell which finger it was on because i can't see and i was already staring like a lunatic

― do it, Rockapella! (Z S), Friday, 20 January 2012 17:27 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i sometime just make an unnecessary trip across the room, say to get napkins, but with an incredibly powerful magnet, see which finger raises