Joey Barton accepts arrest as an occupational hazard and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner: 2008 football off-season thread

was just coming here to laugh at this

barton to wormwood scrubs XI

BBC Sport website's report situated just above a slightly garish LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! stream of Tommy Burns' funeral

Bristol City/Hull make no summer signings as they've "got a solid squad of players ready, willing and able to fight to cement our place in the premiership" = skint, going straight back down again, what's the point eh?

= and sacking manager, including their current hero, or two on the way

big thumbs up for thread title. you should be commissioned to write titles for the Chicago threads.

Rory Delap has eaten my poppyseed bagel: Chicago thread part 219

Football has an off-season now? What is this, 1947?

Kevin Keegan to sign fancy Romanian midfielder who is inspirational for three games in Euro 2008 and then useless from September until Newcastle can get rid of him in three years time.

Harry Redknapp accepts arrest as an occupational hazard and presumably will accept imprisonment, next season, in the same casual manner

Can we get some excitement here for the LAST EVER Intertoto Cup? We've got...well...er, Aston Villa and Hibernian? OK, sure.

Villa to really push the boat out and make two whole signings this summer, pushing their first team squad to an astounding ten members.

Man City to sell everyone, fail to sign Ronaldinho, Deco and every other underachieving Barca player and then buy Steve Sidwell and Kevin Prince-Boateng in a fit of blind panic.

Sidwell for a fee of about £5m.

Apparently a firesale at Man City is pretty much a foregone conclusion this summer. I wonder whether it'll be Venables or McClaren overseeing it?

Chelsea are talking about £7 million for Sidwell. Not that English footballs are overvalued, you understand.

Will McFadden avoid signing for Celtic for another season?

I was going to have a punt on El Tel managing in the Premiership again next season, funnily enough. I'd had him down for Newcastle though.

I'm really looking forward to the big match this week. You know the one. If Adelaide United don't lose in China, they'll make it to the knockout stages of the Asian Champions League. Four months after the group stages finish! You don't get that kind of excitement in Europe!

Still, it might keep me distracted from Thaksin's wacky schemes at bringing down City and the inevitable fire sale for a week or two.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/l/leicester_city/7418121.stm

A moral victory for any fans of overachieving small teams whose manager fucks off to the moneyboys at the first opportunity. Just waiting for Calderwood to befall the same problems now.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article4009538.ece

I am not able to convincingly articulate quite how funny I find this.

The fact that Peacock hit the bar rather than scored in the 94 Cup final was for me the final proof that God did not exist.

I quite like how he doesn't appear to have made his mind up which church to join yet, he just fancies being a bit godly.

Top thread title, that man. (leaves thread for ever)

Looking forward to Peacock adding to the stock of harmless public amusement in the same way that previous footie god-botherers Icke and Hoddle managed to.

http://www.football-england.com/peter_knowles.html

Billy Bragg wrote a song about Peter Knowles. To my recollection he never publically abused disabled people or claimed to be Jebus tho.

I see John Terry has been named England captain.

Unleash moral fury!

against the bar

A moral victory for any fans of overachieving small teams whose manager fucks off to the moneyboys at the first opportunity.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2007/aug/05/newsstory.leicestercity

Manchester United assistant manager Carlos Queiroz has launched an extraordinary attack on the Spanish nation and Real Madrid in particular over what he believes are attempts to "naturalise" Cristiano Ronaldo.

Queiroz feels Madrid's outspoken courting of his Portuguese compatriot is about more than their wish to snap up the gifted winger, claiming it is part of the long history and rivalry between Portugal and Spain.

"Cristiano Ronaldo will never be Spanish! As they will never take Olivenca again," he told Portuguese newspaper Jornal do Noticias, referring to the small town on the disputed border between the two countries.

Queiroz also delved further into the historic rivalry, alluding to explorer Christopher Columbus - who both countries claim as theirs - and the 60-year Philippine Dynasty when Portugal was ruled by three Spanish kings until the bloodless revolution of 1640.

"They already did the same with Christopher Columbus, and it now seems they want to naturalise Cristiano Ronaldo," added the United number two. "Have they already forgotten what we did to them in the past? We will never lose our patience."

With Portugal preparing for Euro 2008, Queiroz knows the furore surrounding Ronaldo's future could not have come at a worse time.

"It's being done in a manner to distract the Portugal team, at the height of their preparations for the European Championships," he said.

"But I am convinced that despite pressure from the Spanish sporting press he will not accept to change his nationality.

"However, it is an attack with a well-defined strategy and Portugal should be worried about that."

Large fleet sighted in English channel.

nice of the wembley dudes to give the US national anthem singer a totally fcuked mic.

kelly rowland stand up

shes like 100000x more popular there than she is here

oh, was that kelly rowland? i wasn't really paying attention, just lolling at the terrible PA system

i think it was...

Yeah it was. She sounded okay on the radio?

beckham should be wearing his gold cap!!

btw total lol n00b question, but why do they call an intl appearance a cap

btw total lol n00b question, but why do they call an intl appearance a cap

-- J0rdan S., Wednesday, 28 May 2008 20:15 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

In the early days of association football, international teams didn't have a set colour for their shirts, and thus players from the same team would often take to the field in different colours. The use of a "cap" was an easy way of identifying who played for which country.

thx

I'd love to see Arsenal sign Barry. He's a fucking awesome player, much better than Lampard - he may not get as many goals, but he gets a decent amount, and his passing and movement is second-to-none. None of this hoofing 50-yard diagonal balls in hope like Lampard does so often. Swift, tight, short, accurate. Awesome player.

We were OK tonight. We ticked over well after he first goal. Would have liked to see Walcott rather than Crouch go on, but Crouch did OK. Just would've liked to see someone run at the Yanks.

Bentley is an arrogant tosser. I'd not have him in my squad.

Freddy Adu looked like the worst player in the world for the first five minutes he was on.

http://www.hwdyk.com/q/quizimage/princessbride.jpg

Bentley and Beckham post-match.

http://img.skysports.com/07/12/218x298/David_Bentley_609205.jpg

That dude from The Princess Bride directed by Rob Reiner.

I'd rather have Ashley Young come on instead of Bentley. Didn't he get 20 or so assists last season from free-kicks and corners? Scored a few too but maybe a bit lightweight physically at the moment.

Despite the assist for goal tonight was further proof that Beckham should never get near the pitch in a England shirt again.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/graphics/2008/05/29/sfnpre129cbig.gif

its all so clear.

Haha we are such tight bastards.

Well until we started paying Darren Bent I suppose.

Am I reading this right? So Spurs, proportionately, spend the least - and Derby spend the most. This while Jol was signing every journeyman known to man, and before Derby broke the bank for Robert Earnshaw? Do Derby let the fans in free or something?

It's a measure of the amount clubs spend on wages measured against their turnover, right? So it's not surprising to see Man U or Arsenal up the top end - huge turnovers - or Derby at the bottom. Newly promoted clubs are all but forced to spend over the odds if they're going to persuade anybody to sign for them at all.

Result being, of course, that unless you stay up for a while and hopefully find it easier to recruit, you end up doing a Leicester/Leeds. Too many small to medium clubs - hi dere the Tigers - with insane ideas about how much revenue they can hope to generate or how well they'll be able to complete in the Premiership with Championship players.

Hadn't Derby already spent projected earnings from the Premiership plus their first parachute payment before they'd even kicked a ball last season? Paul Jewell Dat Ho ain't coming up next year, if that's true.

Dunno Sheffield United, Watford and Reading seemed to be doing alright. Especially Reading what with pretty small attendances (ditto Watford?)

Watford are managed on a pretty tight budget though, if I remember. Which is why they still have fans calling for Aidy's head despite some absolutely amazing achievements.

Also in football news today: Ten Cate fired at Chelsea, and Gretna relegated to the Scottish third.

Sunderland seem ridiculously placed there consider the size of their stadium and the loyalty of their fans. They must be paying insane wages.

How apt that Gretna get a mention

From the BBC report: Gretna will play in Scottish Division Three next season, if they still exist then

As opening lines go, that's a pretty bleak one.

Reading I thought spent pretty wisely first season up. Watford, as I recall, had the sense to realise they were coming straight back down. Obviously this shit has been talked about a lot in my adopted home city the last week or so, and most people fall into the "haven't got a clue how pitiful Hull's resources are and how vast the gulf in quality of football is going to be, oh boy you poor saps are you gonna learn the hard way." But I think it's possible to stay up - not necessarily possible for City, but possible for a Champ club - if you have a damn good plan. Look at the places where you expect to/need to win points, concentrate your efforts there and don't risk half-fit players on Charge of the Light Brigade matches away at Old Trafford and stuff. Get a damn good scouting network together, look in the obscurer corners of Europe/the British Isles. Don't pay through the nose for players who couldn't cut it at another Premier League club. Try to work with younger players who want to prove something. Be organised as fuck and prepared to grind out results. Maybe, with a slice of luck too, you can establish yrselves in the Premiership without being bottom of Division 1 with a 15 point handicap in 5 years time.

Hull and Stoke look like they're going for the Bolton approach, lots of old dudes on one-year contracts. Campo is apparently a target for both teams.

Those Sunderland figures are for a point when they were near bankrupt, maybe?

read the table title: 2006/2007 NOT 2007/2008

2006/2007 was when derby were going for promotion !

You think those are acceptable figures for Pompey, djm?

And even getting gates of 25,000 plus week in week out seems like not a great revenue stream. How many of the Top 10 clubs even cover player wages on gate receipts alone?

Ahh fuck those bigoted KKK supporting wankers from Airdrie are promoted.

Martian's right tho of course, that table shows that Derby's spending was fucked-up before they even got into the Premier League.

Portsmouth figures are within budget, Milan madANDrich sold out to Sasha G who has more financial resources to invest in the club.

This is a as long term investment project by Sasha, investment in better players = top half success for two seasons, the new academy under Paul Hart is very impressive - Pompey are already attracting some of the best youngsters, a new start of the art training complex being built in Gosport, and plans for a new stadium possibly upto 40,000 capacity. In say 5 years time when all these pieces are in place, Pompey will be one of the best run clubs in the UK.

historically over the past 5 years I would say Pompey haven't been in the top 10 when it comes to spending on transfers, however since Sasha has arrived there has been a far bigger budget for wages.

The pre-season 2005-2006 season - Zajec / Perrin Portsmouth assembled on the cheap one of the worst squads the premier league has seen this decade. It took Harry to mastermind the great escape in 2006 ! 8 new players in the January transfer window and a superb run in March / April / May.

Derby were on the precipice of administration under Burley, weren't they? Hence having to rush Huddlestone and Barnes etc. into the first team.

Reading only bought four or five players during their time in the Prem, and I dunno if they paid actual money for any of them.

Oh, and Hull's chairman is already talking stadium expansion. Their ground currently holds 25,000.

Also, The Peter Taylor Show has rolled up in Wycombe.

if you know you're about to get dumped, be the one to make it happen and retain some shreds of self-respect: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/7426549.stm

So what's Rupert Lowe's first act of new-brooming at Saints?

Getting a new manager in, of course!

Though further reading suggests this might not be a complete disaster, with the possible exception of this sentence:

The 52-year-old Poortvliet [...] has a proven track record of doing extremely well with no money

Interesting that our wage bill went up 30% last season, and that the combined salaries of the two new fellers will still be less than Pearson's. Hmm.

No such problems for Forest, oh dearie me no

Forest have got to be banking on some random US conglomerate putting 200 million into them, right?

Anyway, all that Soton stuff just reminds me of this dude: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramon_Diaz

That year's edition of Football Manager was pretty hype on Oxford, if I remember right. Or on Diaz himself. Both tended to wind up in the upper echelons pretty swiftly, in any case.

regarding Diaz and Oxford, silk purses and sow's ears come to mind.
will 2008-9 be the year Oxford Utd finally regain their place in League Two? I think it might be. We will still have 3/4 of a stadium tho.

'One of England's most popular footballers owes a staggering £1million in unpaid gambling debts.

'The talented star earns around £100,000 a week playing for a major Premier League club, and has represented his country in international matches at home and abroad.

'At least one English bookie is pressing him to pay up, but he is not responding.'

Now, our lawyers say we can't speculate on who this is, but the presence of the word 'popular' means we can rule out a fair few candidates.

I'm gonna go with SWP.

is ten weeks wages a 'staggering' amount when you comfortably live for a year on one of those pay packets?

im sure it has to be owen since the press still think Newcastle is a major club

Who's he popular with these days?

Apart from bookies

Pre-pubescent Japanese schoolgirls, fat Geordies, Sun journalists

venn diagram, please

Sven Diagram - tough tackling Swedish centre-back who is interesting Stoke City

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/mostpopular.var.2186124.mostviewed.david_bentley_speaks_about_100_bets_a_day_gambling_habit.php

Does SWP really earn £100,000 a week? My money's on Crybaby.

SWP not on 100k surely, not even at our dumbass club.

Terry isn't popular, or hadn't you noticed?

Googling "100,000 a week" brings up a list of names. Terry, Gerrard, Torres, but most intriguingly Sol Campbell.

Although everyone knows gay guys don't gamble, so who knows.

Rooney maybe.

If I owed 10 weeks wages that would a be decent but by no means unobtainable amount of money, not to mention players have other income sources.

i'm saying owen

Oh yeah, not neccessarily English.

Where's Eidur Gudjohnsen these days?

'Players have other income sources.'

Stevie G has his wife for instance.

On the game is she?

Hahaha.

They would say popular whoever it was maybe

Rooney is an obvious choice, but I put down 100 at 12-1 on it being Michael Carrick

oh..100k bah lost a hundred

This 100k a week figure may well have been pulled out of nowhere though, like Championship play-offs being worth 80 billion pounds to the winner, or Ricky Hatton being able to pay off the UK's national debt with the purse of his next fight.

Now, our lawyers say we can't speculate on who this is, but the presence of the word 'popular' means we can rule out a fair few candidates.

So, not Ashley Cole then, just in case he sues.

is david bentley writing an autobiography at the moment like prescott?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7427880.stm

Have you ever heard anyone say "total football" as much as this feller?

looking forward to our mundane-as-shit 1-1 draw at the valley next season

I wonder if this 12m GBP deal that tottenham has apparently locked down for dos santos is for real. getting modric and dos santos is kinda awesome (although we still need a CB and goalie, spending that money huh?)

and a defensive midfielder. please god someone at the club realises we need a defensive midfielder.

Didier has become a firm favourite amongst the Tottenham Hotspur fans, (especially after it was claimed that he had turned down a move to local rivals Arsenal to join Spurs, despite the fact Arsenal had bought Abou Diaby and had publicly stated that moving for another defensive midfielder would be unnecessary) in the short time he has been a player at the club most notably for his powerful attacking runs as well as his enthusiastic celebrations of goals and his interaction with the fans after games. The chant sung for Didier Zokora, is to the theme tune of "Lets all do the Conga" Do-do-do Didier Zokora

I really do not need to hear any Harry-Kewell-to-Celtic rumours, thanks very much.

Man I love the Didier Zokora song. It makes up for having him on the pitch.

There's definitely a defensive midfielder and central defender on the shopping list though. I keep thinking 'and a left back' and then I remember about Gareth Bale and it's like having a new signing again.

Celtic are after that left back Michal Kadlec who looked a bit useful for the Czech Republic last night. This is a Good Thing (unlike Lee Naylor who is Not A Good Thing)

<A HREF=http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_city/7430827.stm>;Sven out</A>, Blackburn give Hughes permission to talk to Citeh.

What the hell is Hughes doing going to that nuthouse, when there's a far more lucrative one on offer in SW6?

You think Chelsea would seriously take Mark Hughes?

Hard to see where else Sparky could go next really if he wants to take a step up from Blackburn. Wenger and Fergie aren't going anywhere for a while, can't see Liverpool fans quite taking to him, while Everton and Villa look to have pretty stable and secure managers in place. As far as stepping stones between Blackburn and a CL go, it seems like being City, Spurs, Newcastle or somewhere in Scotland and there aren't a huge number of vacancies knocking around.

I'd stick around at Blackburn if I was him. Maybe keep one eye on the QPR job in a season or two.

You'd have thought Hughes would be best off taking a two-or-three season job at a someone like Villarreal or Valencia and seeing if he could bag a UEFA cup or spit the Spanish big two, then come back and take Fergie's job when he steps down.

Haha, Matt added that QPR bit after his initial post! Mod privileges, eh

Matt likes his mod privileges...

Mourinho's gone to Inter, but, as Dom would doubtless tell you, today's big football news is obviously...

A-de-bay, YO. Always believe in your soul, you've got the power to know you're indestructable, always believe in A-de-bay, YO!

Gretna RIP. Heaven needed a complete lack of a business plan.

Think Hughes is a definite contender. He's a Chelsea man and would be given more time to get it right than most. Also, the pool of contenders is not impressive. We fucked up big time not getting Capello or Ramos in September.

I'm still holding out for Bilic, but Sven seems horribly inevitable.

how do ya stand when you been crushed xpost

Although the "first out of the traps" approach from around 90 sportswriters in the UK to be the first to write the DEFINITIVE RISE AND FALL book about Gretna should be fun.

plz not martin samuel PLZZZ

I hear Samuel has a lot more free time since MTV Urge closed down, although he'll probably go back to writing about The Fiery Furnaces on his "Fluxblog" site.

Wait, wrong guy.

You're thinking of Fred "Tugboat" Otman, it's an easy mistake to make

where does phill jupitus fit into all this

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/85/Shockmaster.jpg

Jupitus reacts badly to a "lol fattey" gag from Simon Amstell.

http://www.davidwelchmanagement.co.uk/img/lawton_award.jpg

Mercury Music awards committee 2009

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7433144.stm

"Ian Monk, spokesman for Wayne Rooney, said that all the costs and damages were being paid by the publishers HarperCollins"

Phew, for a second there I thought Rooney may have to pay them himself out of his miniscule pay packet.

i heard he got a site wide ban as well, but didn't catch the length.

Sven hired to manage El Tri:

http://www.soccerbyives.net/soccer_by_ives/2008/06/mexicans-hire-s.html

And lulz from Germany: http://www.topnews.in/sports/probe-follow-54-1-win-cologne-area-football-21777

Can we go back to Martin Samuel for a bit? Dude is effectively the Petridish of football writing, especially w/regards to that "here's my stand-up comedy routine for the first 100 words of the article, now DOWN TO SERIOUS BUSINESS" schtick.

I can't usually get beyond the smug headshot to actually read any of his articles. On the off-chance I do, his style comes across as lurid and his content mundane. He's not as bad as Lawton.

Who gives a shit about Martin Samuel, this is far more important:

Germania were 37 goals ahead of Rheinkassel before the final round. But Rheinkassel made up the deficit, with 41 of the 54 goals scored alone in the second half.

That's almost a goal a minute. How long does it take to pick the ball out of the back of the net, go back to the centre circle, run half the length of the pitch and put the ball in the net again? Can they fit that in with even minimal interference from the opposing team? That must have been roffles of the highest order.

I'm more interested in the one goal that DJK Loewe II scored. Did they forget to tell one player about the arrangements?

Hey, this season I was in a side that playing entirely honestly lost 31-1. The lone goal came from sticking our centre-back (and only physically imposing player) up front, somehow getting it to him, and watching with amusement as he shot one straight at the otherwise uninvolved keeper only for him to let it through his legs.

Please let it have been a Rheinkassel own-goal, possibly due to a player forgetting which direction they were supposed to be running in.

That's some consolation goal

Pride restored etc

"DJK Loewe II maybe now thinking of that magical night in Istanbul... maybe, just maybe"

Grobbelar playing in Germany now?

I hear Capello was in the crowd, running the rule over DJK Loewe II's keeper

maybe they played gary doherty, anthony gardner and michael dawson in a 3 man back line

jol out

get it together people

yesh, get et together guyyysssh.

Charlton's transfer business off to a flyer

Oh, and Mark Hughes is definitely the new boss of Citeh.

woo we got the new freddy eastwood

Speaking of corruption, blimey Porto, blimey Mourinho

I had read something before on a celtic blog which mentioned allegations from the previous season as well (i.e. the one where they dived their way to the UEFA Cup)

Jozy Altidore to Villareal:

http://www.soccerbyives.net/soccer_by_ives/2008/06/altidore-sold-t.html

Highest transfer fee in MLS history.

Altidore's the only current US player I rate. Decent move for both him and Villareal.

Here's hoping he gets loaned out and actually sees some playing time with a smaller club instead of rotting on the bench a la Adu at Benfica.

According to a survey of supporters of London clubs by the Evening Standard, more Arsenal fans consider Chelsea their most hated club (33%) than Spurs (28%). In fact, even Man Utd (26%) are nearly hated as much as Spurs. How odd. The rivalry's still alive in the opposite direction, though, with 78% of Spurs fans choosing Arsenal.

Meanwhile, Charlton hate Palace most (63%), but Palace hate Brighton most. Fulham (79%) and QPR (72%) despise Chelsea, but Chelsea hate Liverpool most (51%) with Arsenal a very distant second. Millwall hate West Ham most, but West Ham hate Spurs, and then Chelsea.

(cue theme from Jaws

"...The former Manchester United and AC Milan midfielder..."

SPURS HAVE SIGNED DOS SANTOS FOR £4.7 MILLION

I have no idea if he's good

Wasn't he a 90s energy drink?

I'll give you a clue: SPURS HAVE SIGNED DOS SANTOS FOR £4.7 MILLION

xp, obv

Huddlestone to Everton for £6million, apparently

Wait wait wait only £4.7m? I thought he was supposed to be a wonderkid?

Plus 10% of any sell-on fee. Why do I get the feeling Barca's medical staff have discovered he only has four months to live?

So the 'ditch the English players' ploy has started already?

maybe they can send A Lennon our way and we can take the Fast English Motherfuckers theme to ridiculous extremes

I can totally see that happening actually.

sorry, just daydreaming to distract myself from a summer of speculation over whether we'll manage a deadline day swoop for Sean Scannell

lennon to villa has the ring of inevitability to it- basically ramos shoving an infant lennon in a canvas bag to nursemaid o'neill -"here- you coach it".

Dear Bolton Fans,

I’m writing you this open letter because I never had the chance to say farewell to you all following my last match at the Reebok. I really want to say thank you for all the great years that you’ve given me: and believe me, I feel you gave them to me, rather than I to you. It’s been a marvellous experience and I am going to miss the build up to the games when my hands would get clammy at the prospect of putting in a good display and a great afternoon’s football for you all.

I always imagined another kind of farewell: in the stadium, together with you, wearing that white shirt and feeling the affection of all those voices that have cheered me on throughout the years at Bolton Wanderers. I’ve always felt that you guys had a special bond with me. I am, after all, just another foreigner in your land and I know that, when I first arrived here, many people thought that I’d come here from Madrid looking for an extended holiday. I think that, very quickly, you all saw that it was not like that for me: that I had come here to work hard and earn my crust. Maybe that was why many of you chose me as your favourite player so soon afterwards: something that I shall never, ever forget. I cherish with all my heart the times you chanted my name.

The time has come to say goodbye and I would like to bid farewell to every single one of you but, especially, I wish to convey my warmest and most affectionate wishes to Sam Allardyce. He came and found me in Madrid; he had faith in me and taught me how to be a better, more mature player. He played me in a position where I’d never played before in my life and that enabled me to see the game in a completely different light. I truly appreciate the faith he showed in me, in what was otherwise a tough time. I spoke with Sam recently, and who knows, maybe our paths will cross again before too long.

I have no desire to harm the image of Bolton Wanderers Football Club in any way, and I do not want this to end on a sour note. However, I must add that it is a bit sad that I had to find out from the coach, in a two minute phone call, four days after the final game of the season, that he no longer wanted me: thanks for everything but you’ll need to find something somewhere else.

I can fully understand that the coach wants to play a different style of football and that there is no room for a player like me. That’s fine, but I would have liked to have been given the chance to say goodbye to you all.

There is one more thing: one of the saddest things to have happened to me in my entirely unforgettable time at Bolton, and that is the fact nobody from the Football Club has been in contact with me to wish me good luck in my new adventure. At the very least I expected a phone call from the Chairman, Phil Gartside. I’m very upset that it has ended this way.

Nevertheless, there are so many other great memories that will always bring me joy. I remember when we lost the Carling Cup final – one of the toughest moments in my career in England – and a boy of about 12 years old came up to me and said something like this: ‘The thrill of watching you play, that’s what makes the fans happy.’ He told me that it was a real pity to have lost, but at least he knew that next season he’d be watching Campo again. That was like winning a trophy for me.

It’s been an unusual year, and things haven’t been done the way that they were in previous seasons. The dressing room has had to really pull together and work hard to overcome a situation that none of us was used to. The key to our salvation has been the players themselves, side by side with the inestimable support of the Bolton fans. The club’s greatest asset is the unity of the players who have all pulled together to save the club.

After being knocked out of the UEFA Cup by Atlético, we hit a real low and went in to a downward spiral. That was until the win over Boro at their place. I wish you could have seen the inside the dressing room that day! Before we took to the field we were all looking at each other saying ‘we must win, we will win.’ And then, when we got back in, it was as if something had clicked and we were all hugging, singing and dancing: we suddenly rediscovered how to enjoy ourselves again and we felt like a team once more. Diouf was hugging everyone; Nolan, Davies as well. Right up to the Sunderland game at home we had to maintain that team spirit and keep hold of that belief that we would avoid going down: and we did.

Yet something strange also happened: we didn’t celebrate with the fans, there was no special dinner like there always is every year, and I would have loved that. It felt as if there was some kind of dis-connection between the club and the supporters: a real shame.

I’m going to really miss all of the players who have come and gone at the club over the last six years: guys like N’Gotty right up to the latest arrivals, Mikel Alonso and the rest. However, if one character stands out above all the others, it’s Djorkaeff: a wonderful guy and when he left it really upset me. I got on phenomenally well with him.

I’ve received a lot of messages in the last few days, not so many from team mates. They are on their holidays and while they may have found out, I’m sure they are all just thinking to themselves that that’s just the way football is. I’m not concerned. I know what I did and I what I achieved at Bolton, and I know that you all know as well. And that’s what I shall take home with me; that’s what I shall remember while I’m enjoying my break in Mallorca, waiting for the phone to ring with an offer from a club.

I’ve had offers but, for now, nothing all that interesting. Let’s hope that after the European Championships the transfer market will pick up and I can continue playing in England, Spain or even somewhere outside of Europe.

I know that I will always be welcome in Bolton, the place that I have called home for the last six years. I would have liked to have stayed for another year or two at the club and hung up my boots wearing the white shirt of Bolton Wanderers. I’ll definitely be back to watch Bolton at the Reebok and, who knows, maybe even return to work with the youth team one day. I love to watch those kids play football: so happy and innocent. They called me ‘The Legend’, but what they never realised was that when I watched them play they reminded me of my own beginnings on the football field, when the most important thing was that you enjoyed yourself. I could even work as a scout for Bolton, maybe bringing Spanish players back to the club.

I’ll always treasure two memories that are, in fact, the same moment: the Carling Cup final where I discovered the meaning of both sadness and greatness. It was a moment of real sadness in defeat, but also something truly great to be in that stadium, in a final, full of the supporters of my team: Bolton Wanderers.

I also have very pleasant memories of my debut at Old Trafford, even though I only played for a minute and the goal I scored against Liverpool in my second game. Ah! And I’ll never forget the blow to the face that Gary Speed gave me: never in all my life have I been hit that hard. They had to give me six stitches in my eyebrow along with twelve on the inside, and twelve on the outside, of my cheekbone. The club doctor stitched up my eyebrow, but I’d also like to thank his boss, a Chinese doctor, who put the rest of me back together, even sorting out a torn facial muscle.
In the end it was all part of the ups and downs of what had been one of the most special and happiest periods of my life.

My Bolton friends, you must know that you will always be with me and have a special place deep in my heart.

My warmest and most heartfelt regards to you all.

Ivan Campo

i thought it was gonna be anelka.

I had a fiver on Dioufy at the start :(

where did you see the gossip on hudd to everton? i'd rather keep him than most other youngsters at the club.

'According to a survey of supporters of London clubs by the Evening Standard, more Arsenal fans consider Chelsea their most hated club (33%) than Spurs (28%). In fact, even Man Utd (26%) are nearly hated as much as Spurs. How odd. The rivalry's still alive in the opposite direction, though, with 78% of Spurs fans choosing Arsenal.

Meanwhile, Charlton hate Palace most (63%), but Palace hate Brighton most. Fulham (79%) and QPR (72%) despise Chelsea, but Chelsea hate Liverpool most (51%) with Arsenal a very distant second. Millwall hate West Ham most, but West Ham hate Spurs, and then Chelsea.'

We're a very complicated city.

where did you see the gossip on hudd to everton? i'd rather keep him than most other youngsters at the club.

-- darraghmac, Friday, 6 June 2008 15:30 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/everton-fc/everton-fc-news/2008/06/06/everton-close-in-on-tottenham-s-tom-huddlestone-100252-21034000/

With anchorman Lee Carsley having moved to Birmingham City, Moyes’ top priority this summer is to find someone with the ability to retain possession as well as having presence to fill that void and 6ft 3ins Huddlestone fits the bill.

lol

i mean, i like the guy but

After being knocked out of the UEFA Cup by Atlético, we hit a real low and went in to a downward spiral.

I thought it was Sporting Lisbon that knocked them out?

Tom would fit in very well at Everton, I'd say that's perfectly credible.

oh, i'm sure he'd do a job for them. just not lee carsley's.

Dom, you rate Altidore and not Adu?

If Adu was any great shakes on a world stage, he would have signed for Inter or Juve or Milan aged 14, like seemingly 20% of all other pubescent African footballers do.

Haha take that, DC United!

how is signing for villarreal at age 18 for that much more epic than signing for benfica at age 18? i mean i'm not saying adu is a worldbeater, but what makes jozy one?

that said i'm a fan of both, but i don't need either of them to be zlatan pele zidanenko to appreciate them as footballers.

young US players to watch IMO:

Jozy Altidore
Freddy Adu
Michael Bradley
Maurice Edu
Jorge Flores (possibly)
Neven Subotic (if he doesn't pull a Giuseppe Rossi)

We've signed people! Two of them!

I thought of another one, though he's a GK so I don't know if that rates: Brad Guzan.

Also Dom is your rating of Altidore based on Football Manager? :) Just curious since the author of an article I read about the Villareal deal referenced his stats in the game since he apparently didn't know anything else about him.

Joey Barton has allegedly turned down the offer of a pay cut from Newcastle and will fight them in court if they try to sack him. Good job he's got such a high success rate in court, then.

you misunderstood his meaning of "fight them in court"

http://www.abovethelaw.com/images/entries/animated%20siren%20gif%20animated%20siren%20gif%20animated%20siren%20gif%20drudge%20report.GIF2106: Breaking news: Luiz Felipe Scolari has been named as the new manager of Chelsea.http://www.abovethelaw.com/images/entries/animated%20siren%20gif%20animated%20siren%20gif%20animated%20siren%20gif%20drudge%20report.GIF

Other breaking news: having tried to force Blackburn to putting him on the shortlist for the job, Shearer now says he doesn't want it after all nyah nyah nyah<nazi salute>

yeah, because "I have several other commitments, namely this one", he said at half-time, possibly being confused about the meaning of "several".

He comes round and does the garden for me once a week.

I get Lee Dixon to empty the bins.

...namely this one + some other stuff i haven't thought of yet/am embarrassed by/don't care to name because it's still better than managing Blackburn

Halifax up the junction

Bolton set the standard for modern football economics

"Celtic turn their attention to Spurs flop Bent"

scared

Slightly less scary than the Harry Kewell rumour that was doing the rounds a couple of weeks ago, but still scary.

Not impressed with the Times trying to suggest we could flog Boruc for 2/3 a Craig Gordon either.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/international/euro_2008/article4138359.ece

Artur Boruc (Poland)
Cost: £6m
Would suit: Tottenham, Arsenal, Aston Villa
Poland’s best player so far, strong against Germany in defeat, excellent in one-on-ones against Austria. Celtic fans won’t be surprised by this agility, nor would Martin O’Neill, who used to manage Celtic and is in search of a goalkeeper at Aston Villa. Boruc will not want a season without Champions League football, and may find someone who can offer him further progress in that competition than Scotland’s finest.

Um, if he wouldn't want a season without Champions League football, why would he leave Celtic who have qualified straight into the group stages for Spurs or Villa?

My dad was worryingly claiming we were after Paul Robinson to replace him yesterday, but googling confirms he was just being confused and it's actually West Brom left-back Paul Robinson we're linked with and not the comedy goalie.

I thought Boruc was linked with a move to AC Milan?

OK, he's "too expensive": http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/11062008/58/scottish-premier-league-milan-admit-boruc-defeat.html

I had read that Milan had realised that £10m wasn't going to be enough.

Spew Keevins on Clyde this morning said Celtic rejected a £10M bid from Sunderland for Aidenho McGeady. We're also allegedly chasing Pavlyuchenko, no idea what he'd cost.

This the same Keevins who exclusively revealed last season that Scott Brown was out the door, with absolutely no evidence to back it up whatsoever?

Basic gist: trailing his news report for an hour with "I have news that will shock Celtic fans", leads with "Scott Brown will have left Celtic by the time the transfer window closes tomorrow" (this was in January, Brown is still there) and then once he'd got everyone's attention attributed it to unconfirmed sources and slipped in a bit about how he couldn't get a comment from Brown, his agent, or Celtic. i.e. some bloke in a pub/taxi/blog made this shit up and Keevins ran it as fucking NEWS.

i.e. he just makes stuff up and I wouldn't believe a word he said, though I quite believe Roy Keane wants Aidenho and that Strachan doesn't want to sell.

F365, amazed by the amount Bolton have paid for a very average player, assembled this lot transferred last summer who cost an astonishing £60M between them (not including Richard Wright once having cost £6M, and because they'd made being English the criteria, thus not letting them pick the £9M Sunderland paid for Craig Gordon).

GOALKEEPER: Richard Wright (West Ham, free)
RIGHT-BACK: Greg Halford (Sunderland, £3m)
CENTRE-HALF: Zat Knight (Aston Villa, £3.5m)
CENTRE-HALF: Liam Ridgewell (Birmingham, £2m)
LEFT-BACK: Leighton Baines (Everton, £6m)
CENTRAL MIDFIELD: Joey Barton (Newcastle, £5.8m)
CENTRAL MIDFIELD: Alan Smith (Newcastle, £6m)
CENTRAL MIDFIELD: Scott Parker (West Ham, £7m)
STRIKER: David Nugent (Portsmouth, £6m)
STRIKER: Michael Chopra (Sunderland, £5m)
STRIKER: Darren Bent (Tottenham, £16.5m)

You can pencil in Steve Sidwell (Aston Villa, £5.5m) for next year's team.

and anthony gardner is captain, mascot and possibly life peer of that team whenever he moves to one of the newly promoted sides.

now that's multitasking

well he won't be overly encumbered by defensive duties, going on previous

that was actually an xpost regarding MON's punditry duties but yeah, that still scans

an xpost to the euro 2008 thread

Complete list of Gretna's debts:

3663 £3,510.15
A Crossan Electrical £237.92
Alba Printers £1,307.38
Amenity 1 Ltd £2,738.94
Annandale & Eskdale Leisure Trust £350.00
Aquaid (North) £105.74
Architects Plus (UK) Ltd £9,550.7
Arngrove Construction Services Ltd £8,753.72
Arngrove Group Holdings Ltd £22,215.74
Arnott Corporate Insurance Solution £9,145.12
AT Reece £340.00
Barnsley Football Club £1,192.86
Beattie Podiatry £20.00
Birmingham City Football Club Plc £2,788.09
Blackburn Rovers Football & Athletic Plc £2,840.17
Blounts Pharmacy £4,189.05
BOC £63.10
Borderloos £1,175.00
Brake Bros Ltd £2,359.51
Brechin Tindale Oatts (Lawyers) £10,144.07
Brian Frew £5,471.55
British Telecom £789.95
Brooks Mileson/Heartshape - Loan Acc £1,871,427.82
Bytebak £421.53
Carlisle City Council £2,469.51
Celtic FC Ltd £7,262.00
Central Cleaning Company £180.00
Chef Fresh Catering Ltd £174.78
Colophon Press Printers Ltd £2,422.28
Creative Edge Video & Photography £1,950.00
Creditsafe Ltd £446.50
Crime Stoppers Scotland £450.00
Crossflags Dumfries £157.91
D & G Fire Protection Ltd £155.28
Disclosure Scotland £170.00
DNG Media (Annandale Observer) £35.25
Dr Johnstone £221.97
Dr Nitin Desai £750.00
Dr P G Jennings £1,133.00
Dr Richard Ishmael £750.00
Dr R L Cox £90.00
Dr William Lowry £500.00
Dumfries & Galloway Council £934.25
Dumfries & Galloway Council £137.75
Elite One Hospitality Ltd £1,490.22
Eventcover Productions Ltd £2,113.07
Fire Protection Ltd £155.28
Frank Gilroy £80.00
G4S Cash Services (UK) Ltd £126.59
Gallovidian Fresh Foods Ltd £336.26
Gems £323.00
Glasgow City Council £1,388.50
Glasgow Nuffield Hospital £1,176.00
Global Screening (UK) Ltd £16,156.25
HM Customs & Excise £136,292.46
H & E Trotter £211.50
Health Centre £293.75
Helen Dutch/Daffy Dill £585.00
Hot Borders Sauna Club £875.98
Inland Revenue £439,762.22
ITW Graphics £537.51
James Grady £20,000.00
J F Armstrong £488.60
John Branthwaite £452.46
John Cook Signs £70.50
Key to the Clans Ltd £320.32
Knox Sports £80.50
Leaseguard Ltd £182.14
Lindley Catering Ltd £2,134.79
Lloyds TSB Bank Plc £22,631.26
Mark Parr Promotions £4,056.49
Mark Parr Promotions £3,176.21
Martin Canning £9,000.00
Mr Dominique Byrne £996.25
Mr M J Dawson Consultant Orthopaedics £90.00
Newcastleton Polysport £500.00
North Cumbria Acute Hospitals NHS £2,198.00
Office Technology Corporation Ltd £210.33
Para-Med 1 £380.00
Parker Hose & Fittings Ltd £176.25
Parr4 (Irrigation) Ltd £286.49
PHS Group Plc £287.72
Pineapple Aroundshot Ltd £441.11
Positive Response Communication £95.18
Premier Inn Ltd £430.77
Premium Credit £10,917.31
Prozone Ltd £117.50
Ravenstock MSG Ltd £4,770.70
Redundancy Payments Service £18,913.82
Redundancy Payments Service - Pref £24,932.24
Rhythm of Life £507.60
Rickerby Ltd £2,758.40
Rock Steady Sports Event Services Ltd £1,084.31
Ross Hall Hospital £1,993.00
Rowan Alexander £800,000.00
Sam Gibson £90.00
Scottish and Universal Newspapers £71.91
Scottish Gas Business £4,939.69
Scottish Water £933.08
Sheffield United FC Ltd £13,130.91
Shortridge Launderers & Dry Cleaners £227.75
Sky Business £83.78
Smiths at Gretna Green £1,130.45
SNS Group £1,057.50
Solway Physiotherapy Clinic £4,500.00
St John’s Ambulance £141.00
St Johnstone Football Club Ltd £61.10
Stacey’s Coaches Ltd £5,590.00
Stella Football Ltd £5,850.00
Strathclyde Police £12,627.43
Strathclyde Skip Hire £176.25
Swallow Hotels £4,084.65
Telford’s Coaches £220.00
The Barron Wright Partnership £23,500.00
The Everton Football Company Ltd £3,667.79
The Gables Hotel £685.90
The Motherwell Football & Athletic Club £44,445.00
The Newcastle upon Tyne Hospitals £576.00
The Paper House Ltd £258.50
The Scottish Football Association £250.00
Thurnams £1,205.92
TNT UK Ltd £187.33
TV Licensing £23.22
University of Cumbria £73,985.87
University of Lancashire £10,672.13
Watson Burton £713.70
Well Connected Scotland Ltd £51.18
West Skelston Services Ltd £98.70
West Skelston Services Ltd £251.20
Wm Armstrong (Longtown) Ltd £2,087.06

TOTALLING £3,734,811.53

Poll?

ban

http://www.sportbox.tv/football/competitions/competition.php?div=scdiv3

lol at "Club X"

Ince gets the Blackburn job, then? Doesn't say a lot for Fat Sam or McLareng in the interview stakes.

First black Premiership manager? There must be someone I'm forgetting.

The fact that he's English is unusual enough

Tigana? (xp)

pretty sure Christian Gross was mixed race

First black Premiership manager? There must be someone I'm forgetting.

-- Matt DC, Thursday, 19 June 2008 12:42 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

First black English. Tigana and Gullit pre-empt him.

So how long till he's sacked? Will he last the season?

He'll be gone after Megson but before Ramos.

I hope he doesn't get sacked but I fear a Stuart Pearce scenario

Bookies have reacted to this news by cutting Blackburn to 12s from 14s to be relegated.

Curbishley 7/1
Megson 7/1
Hodgson 8/1
Keegan 8/1
Brown 12/1
Southgate 12/1
Pullis 16/1
Benitez 20/1
Bruce 20/1
Mowbray 20/1
Redknapp 20/1
Hughes 22/1
Keane 33/1
Scolari 33/1
Ramos 50/1
Moyes 50/1
O'Neill 50/1
Wenger 66/1
Ferguson 100/1

Ferguson 100/1

Weren't there stories last week he was off if they sold Ronaldo without his permission?

Aberdeen have released some kid called Strachan who can't cut the mustard and Celtic have "swooped" in for him.

Better get down the bookies then.

Biggest lol, Scolari shorter than Ramos.

Ha ha, 10 of the 11 most likely to be sacked are English. None of the 8 least likely to be sacked are English. Who's missing? Ince!

Hodgson at 8s seems remarkably short odds. The job he did keeping them up last season was far better than the one Sanchez did the season before. Get a good replacement for McBride and Fulham should be OK.

Curbishley makes sense - apparently West Ham are looking to retrench financially this year, the promise of cash to spend on players left right and centre appears to have vanished. He'll be under pressure to cut the wage bill and improve performances and he's got a squad of comedy overpaid underachievers. Bad start to the season and he'll be gone in no time.

22/1 on Mark Hughes is certainly worth a punt though.

I think West Ham had been linked with Nathan Dyer. If that comes true, look for Curbs to go odds-on.

Steve McClaren's off to FC Twente

It was clear to me from the first meeting with President Joop Munsterman and people of the club that they were very focused but I didn't let that stop me pursuing the Blackburn job.

Steve McClaren. Champions League. Gift that keeps on giving.

i'm negotiating a deal with mclaren to write a book on his job interview techniques.

u kunt zich onder mijn paraplu bevinden

you can find me under my umbrella? :)

It was a babelfishing of "you can stand under my umbrella" into alleged Dutch.

I'm hoping McLaren will be using the magic of babelfish to improve his Dutch for post-defeat interviews.

he'd be better off putting his midfield tactics through babelfish to see if they come out making any sense.

@Onimo, I am Dutch and translated your babeldutch wrongly into English, I see now. McLaren should do that too, babelfish English->Dutch->English->Dutch.

The last (good) English coach in the Dutch league I remember was sr. Bobby Robson, with PSV (my side). A true gentleman. McClaren, I reckon, not so much...

Oddest signing of the post-season thus far?

no redknapp signing will ever qualify for that title, i think.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7467056.stm

RIP big man, up there coaching Estonians on a part-time basis in heaven

Beeb ticker's confirmed Ince to Blackburn.

My dad told me about that last night. I'd been saying if Steve Morgan had any balls Wolves would've tried to poach Incey at the end of April.

Trying to find odds on Holloway replacing him at Franchise...

It's a Franchise, but then again so's Giraffe, and everyone loves those don't they? Except that bloke who tried to blow one up. Mind you, we should get our scout to look at him, we could do with some explosive talent up front! Is that 500 words yet, BBC editor?

That Tim Carter story made me sad last night. Goalies are the drummers of the football world: totally essential to the success of the team, most likely to off themselves 6 months after everybody's forgotten who they are.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/jun/27/children

Earlier this year, junior showjumping events at Hickstead were axed because of "unpleasantness" by pushy parents of the young competitors.

I bet these people are Interesting Characters

Kitson out!

Spurs just bought Heurelho Gomes from PSV. With Buffon and Van der Sar amongst the absolute world best of keepers. I'm very sad to see him go, but Spurs will thoroughly enjoy him next season.

Good, that's one more off the list of people who might buy Artur Boruc.

Still looking forward to seeing how Spurs fuck up this season.

Still looking forward to seeing how much and how often Spurs fuck up this season.
Fixed

I don't know ... what's going on with this eternal David Bentley rumour. It's "95% done" I hear. "He wouldn't go to a London club other than Spurs" I hear. He's a pretty good player, I guess, but still goes absolutely nowhere to finding a good passing midfielder (the Carrick replacement we never actually got) and another centre back (this is necessary, I'm sorry).

well modric would be your man there, presumably. but if spurs plan to play a toddler dwarf midfield of him, dos santos and maybe even lennon as well then the need for a defensive midfielder is stronger than ever.

i wonder if ramos is thinking of playing the vogueish 5 in midfield to protect him. keano dropping back? dunno though.

bentley strikes me as very much a tottenham kinda player however. (tiresome pretensions of being something he'll never be as good as, wahey)

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_3757352,00.html

Lassana Diarra: He Is A Nice Young Man

GARETH BARRY GARETH BARRY BLEGGHHHH GARETH BARRY

yeah barry has gone way down in my estimation. he's being a right little prick.

Tom Huddlestone signs a new five year deal- he won't be going to Everton then. so that's a squad of midfielders including modric, jenas, thudd, o'hara, geovanni, lennon, malbranque, tainio, boateng, taraabt, zokora.

no room for culling there, then.

5 year deal, goodness me.

Everton fans must be gnashing their teeth and tearing up their season tickets at this revelation.

yeah, that's their 2009 season a total write off.

Deco in

Just noticed those odds for sacking. 12/1 for Southgate seems a bit low, unless he has a mare at the start of the season I'd have rated him 25/1 to 33/1.

Keane requests transfer

Having no strikers and six mid-fielders is the modern way.

we still have darren bent. i have full faith in him showing torres how a lone striker *really* struts his stuff in 08/09.

In a further twist, the Mail claims that Ramos is 'exploring ways of offloading Bent' - with Sunderland said to be interested.

dos santos as lone striker then. THIS YEAR IS OUR YEAR

[Liverpool's attempt to sign Tottenham striker Robbie Keane may be hit by a possible £20m price tag.

YES PLEASE

Ravens, towers, etc.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/7485171.stm

Can't think of anything in his character that suggests this is possible

q: how long did it take Le Tallec to sign for Le Mans?
a: about a day (Le Mans 24 hours!)

http://theoffsiderules.blogspot.com/2008/07/video-jim-rome-is-ignorant-even-when.html

This dickhead in the video is a good example of what fans in the US have to put up with.

"He categorically denies the allegation which centres around consensual sexual touching. The allegation is totally without foundation.

"hey babe, say, hows about we have a little consensual sexual touching huh?"

FIFA RANKINGS (previous position in brackets):

1. (4) Spain
2. (3) Italy
3. (5) Germany
4. (2) Brazil
5. (10) Netherlands
6. (1) Argentina
7. (15) Croatia
8. (6) Czech Republic
9. (11) Portugal
10. (7) France
11. (24) Russia
12. (12) Romania
13. (13) Cameroon
14. (20) Turkey
15. (9) England
16. (17) Scotland
17. (18) Bulgaria
18. (8) Greece
19. (14) Mexico
20. (16) Ghana
33. (32) Northern Ireland
41. (42) Republic of Ireland
54. (53) Wales

lowest i've seen England since i can remember - could Scotland overtake?

Man City complete record Jol deal

Jo out

Good thing I didn't have a punt on Olly after all, eh?

So we've gone from the first black English manager in the Premiership to the league's first (deleted on legal advice) manager? Great times for equal rights.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44796000/jpg/_44796696_-4.jpghttp://www.stfrancisgilmer.org/images/nmfrax.jpeg

Sol Campbell shock transfer to MK Dons imminent?

The Suzying on football discussion on ILx

Former Oldham, Rochdale, Boston and Grays midfielder Ernie Cooksey has died of skin cancer aged 28.

Today's news:

LBZC's editor at large, Dave Kitson, linked with move to Fulham
New York finance company to buy Newcastle, more soccerball gags needed

i'm disappointed that the expected Kazim Kazim to middling Premiership club rumours haven't really take off. though not as disappointed as him, i imagine.

I signed this dude for Redditch on FM08. He's slow, lazy and temperamental, but he scores a decent amount at Conference level.

Also, Saints sign walking pun.

Player of the Year candidate #1: Ashley-Paul Robinson

Ashley-Paul Robinson has taken football into the internet age by revealing he is set to move to Fulham via the Facebook website.

The 18-year-old Crystal Palace winger posted details of his hitherto unknown plans to have a trial with the Premiership club on the social network site over the weekend. While Robinson boasts a modest 194 Facebook friends, the 2.7m members of the site who have joined its London section were able to read the disclosure.

According to The Guardian, Robinson posted a message on Saturday which read: "Ashley-Paul is goin fulham on monday. If i pull dis off im on dis ting."

On Sunday he added: "Ashley-Paul is travling 2 Bath With Fulham Fingers Crossed."

Palace were less than impressed about the news being public - although it's not thought that they first learnt about Robinson's dalliance with Fulham on the internet.

"It's pretty embarrassing for the club that this guy is telling the world he's looking to leave the club," a 'Palace source' told the The Guardian. "Perhaps someone should tell him to be a bit more private about what he's putting on the internet."

By yesterday, with news of his disclosure spreading, even Robinson had apparently realised the errors of his third-person ways. "Ashley-Paul has been very naughty lol!" he posted

Ashley-Paul Is Travling 2 Bath With Fulham Fingers Crossed. (Im lukin 2 Get Sum Tips Of Jimmy Bullard He's ON DIS TING NO HYPE LOL !
11:42pm

Im lukin 2 Get Sum Tips Of Jimmy Bullard He's ON DIS TING NO HYPE LOL !

This is the funniest sentence ever written in the English language.

Ashley-Paul is kickin bk. still 2 find a club need 2 get on dis ting quick.
10:08am

Someone needs to get the poor kid on dis ting and put his mind at rest

give him the award now

I Facebook 'gratted our youth keeper Rob Elliot after he found himself given a professional debut four minutes into an away game at Home Park, courtesy of Nicky Weaver's grotesque outside-the-box handball...a game we eventually won! To his credit, he replied with thanks. :)

Was Rob Elliott not the feller in goal when Exeter held Man U at Old Trafford in the FA Cup a few years back?

No, no he wasn't, that was Paul Jones (formerly of Leyton Orient, now permanently at Exeter).

Sarah Robinson (Blackheath High School) wrote
at 6:14pm
i tek dat back we all mek mistakes luuvvss ya 9 i aint being sarcastic)xx

Former QPR, Leicester and Plymouth manager Ian Holloway is in the running to take over the vacant coaching post at Scottish Premier League side Hearts. (Scottish Daily Express)

facebook365.com

Former Liverpool and Blackburn Rovers defender Stig Inge Bjornebye is looking forward to the weekend!!!

Sky Sports News leading massively with Fat Frank's fury after Scolari suggested he wants to stay at Chelsea. Why o why must our Francis suffer so?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452219/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/crystal_palace/7499205.stm

Orange Twat Largely Correct

I hope we get Palace in the Carling Cup which is the only time he's going to get anywhere near the team.

Swiss twat has another twattish opinion

"I'm always in favour of protecting the player and if the player wants to leave let him leave," he told Sky News... "I think in football there's too much modern slavery"

FUCK

OFF

I know one of the key causes of the US Civil War was slaves trying to break their $100,000 a week contracts.

yeah i just came here to post that link.

if a player wants to leave there's nothing to club can do (i mean, he can just threaten to play shit for the whole of the next season if he wanted to)

Meanwhile the departures of the Premier League's Only Aliaksandr and Future Portsmouth Star Emmanuel Adebayor draw ever nearer

On the long train journey back from Villa vs Spurs on Boxing Day I was sitting next to a kid from Watford who'd managed to get Adebayor's number in order to repeatedly prank call him during the journey. He then phoned a friend and described the situation as "pure bants" at least ten times.

is the total proposed figure for adebayor/hleb really in the £35-40 million mark?

that's astonishing.

bare jokes

spurs seem to have signed luis garcia, in other news.

This is a different Luis Garcia from the one who played for Liverpool, right?

yep, you got this guy

http://www.laprensatoledo.com/Stories/2006/February%203,%202006/p.%20luis%20garcia%20grito%2005.jpg

Claudio Ranieri? Cool!

Charlie Krulak getting on some Glen The Gorgeous Golden Sandy-Coloured Labrador foot-in-mouth shit by accidentally disclosing details of Villa's bid for David Bentley on every Villa forum under the sun and then having to backtrack

For the start of the 2008-09 season, Luton have been deducted 30 points for insolvency and fined £50,000 for paying agents via a third party.

Fucking ridiculous. Although at I've always held an irrational hatred of Richard Langley, so mabye it's OK

how on earth are Chelsea gonna cope without their greatest midfield asset?

That Luton thing is a shocker

Yeah, how does "you've suffered financial troubles in the past, we're going to make sure you don't actually get promoted in case you make more money to rectify your situation" help anyone?

Robbie...Fowwwwwler...to....Blackburnnnnn

Yeah, how does "you've suffered financial troubles in the past, we're going to make sure you don't actually get promoted in case you make get relegated so you definitely don't make more money to rectify your situation" help anyone?

Fixed.

I feel the pain for Luton fans, but it seems to me reasonable that there should be some penalty attached to clubs running themselves irresponsibly. Shouldn't there?

"The gravity of the sentence reflected the fact that the League Two club have suffered three insolvencies in the past 10 years, each time wiping away debts only to go on to live beyond their means" says the Guardian. It is extremely frustrating (as a fan of a club which is - these days - trying to run itself responsibly) to have our chances of success in the league damaged by clubs who are gambling on success, in the knowledge that there are penalties if that gamble doesn't pay off.

The 10 points deduction for transfer irregularities is ridiculous though.

Haha that should read "there are no penalties", not "there are penalties".

Does anyone else want Cristiano Ronaldo to get hit by a bus now?

I would quite like Fergie to lay down the law completely and just refuse to let him leave at any price. And possibly let him sit in the reserves for a bit. But it won't happen.

Hey but on the plus side Sepp Blatter might be forced to resign.

Surely going bust in itself is a fair punishment, removing (or severely inhibiting) the means to try and rectify that situation is just kicking a man when he's lying on the ground screaming, is it not?

It's not even like it's always an appropriate punishment. Take Gretna. If they hadn't got to the wayside totally, they were going down anyway. And due to irresponsible management, they weren't even going down one division, they were going down from the SPL to the third (didn't fulfil the stadium criteria for the higher divisions, which the SPL let them solve by forcing them to fork out money they didn't have to share a swampy unfit-for-purpose stadium in a town that meant a 150-mile round trip for their fans, thereby decreasing potential revenue from casual local supporters). What good does docking 10 points off them do there?

xpost, yes, re. Ronaldo. Bored now. Hope he goes somewhere and is shite.

"three insolvencies in the past 10 years, each time wiping away debts only to go on to live beyond their means"

So no, apparently going bust is not punishment enough.

What's more, clubs living beyond their means then going bust has a number of other nengaitve effects, not least amongst which is inflating player wages, which is bad for those of us who support anything other than the largest clubs in any given league.

The problem is that going bust isn't a fair punishment if the club can continue to function as a football club with seemingly no consequences for anybody other than the debtors. The points deduction was introduced to stop clubs from financially running themselves into the ground in order to gain promotion, for example, only to declare insolvency the following season, wipe their debts, and end up sitting pretty a division higher up with a new board and a string of bad debts in their wake.

Yes, but force them down, they are going to try and get back up AGAIN. They are only one Wayne-Rooney-in-their-youth-setup away from making lots of money, and that's the hope that keeps a club going. I agree *something* should be done, whether the League or whoever steps in and appoints someone to oversee finances, whether wages/transfers/spending is capped. But docking points doesn't seem to be making a blind bit of difference.

I think clubs going into the Premier League have generally thought a bit more carefully about their spending since Leeds (and to a lesser extent Leicester) crashed and burned. (Altho I've got a real sense that Derby might manage to go tits up before next season's out.) Maybe if Luton manage to cheat their way out of the Football League altogether it will serve as an equally stark reminder to chairmen not to be dicks.

It's incredibly frustrating when you're a fan of a tightwad club that won't throw money about to watch teams gaining what amounts to an unfair advantage by throwing about money they don't have. And like Tim said, it inflates wages for everybody.

And I did used to support a small club that disappeared, albeit into a successful template for not mucking up your rise to a higher level (Inverness Thistle, later subsumed into Inverness Caledonian Thistle), so I'm not looking at this just from my current view atop the SPL and in the Champions League with squillions of TV and merchandising license-to-print-money deals.

x-post I don't think automatic points-docking has been going long enough for anyone to know whether it will work or not in getting clubs to behave responsibly. Have you noticed any teams who have had points docked spending irresponsibly in the season of their deduction?

Leeds United may have done so, I suppose? I'm not sure.

The other thing is that clubs have to stop talking about relegation from the league equalling "oblivion" - only one club relegated from the league in recent years has gone into anything like oblivion, and that's Halifax, whose demise was more of a slow drift and wasn't an immediate result of relegation from the Football League. It is horrible but it's not oblivion.

Nobody likes to see fans suffer because of the actions of directors, I know. Unless it's Leeds. In an ideal world football clubs would be treated as community assets and subject to all sorts of external financial management, but given the current political climate I don't think that's going to happen any time soon i.e. never probably. Given the situation as it is, harsh punishments for financial cheating might be the best solution available.

Aye, I suppose, the infrastructure and fan base and coverage in England is way different from in Scotland. Clubs disappear in Scotland and they actually do all but disappear - the league is a closed shop unless you go bust and get kicked out and someone comes in to replace you, and the coverage and hence sponsorship money is woefully inadequate the further down the league system you go. Basically clubs cross their fingers and hope for Celtic or Rangers in one of the cups.

xpost

only one club relegated from the league in recent years has gone into anything like oblivion, and that's Halifax

Would you not count Scarborough as recent years?

Oh yes! Forgot about them! Good shout, though again it's another slow drift as opposed to a spectacular collapse.

The point I'm trying to make is that we assume that when our clubs are relegated from the Football League in financial disarray, that'll be the end of them (I know I did). The chances are that's not going to be the case.

I kinda want Ronaldo to go to Real, then Real to be done for financial corruption (fanciful, that they'd ever be done, but hey), and Blatter to be found complicit.

I would like Ronaldo to go to Real, then Celtic to get Real in the Champions League, and then him be to made to look not as good as Aiden McGeady and spend the entire match in Lee Naylor's pocket. I seem to recall him being awfully quiet against us the last time we played Man Utd.

Gretna have been admitted to the East of Scotland League for next season. Guess where they're going to be playing their home matches?

How many American goaltenders can fit in a Premier league?

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-guzan12-2008jul12,0,1717536.story

(it has been confirmed it's Aston Villa)

Villa need to take this a step further by signing Friedel and having Brad Jr understudy to Brad Snr

My Two Brads, if you will

^^^ still got it

IT IS TRUE THAT A MAN CAN NOT LIVE ON BRAD ALONE - IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT HE CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT BRAD

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/thingummy99/cast.jpg

l-r: Zat Knight, Friedel, Randy Lerner, O'Neill, Guzan, Doug Ellis

Not-Greg-Evigan dad actually looks a little like Notts Forest-era O'Neill.

Don't really understand this Man City being able to afford Ronaldinho thing, it's almost as if somebody needs to take them to one side and tell them not to try it

Personally, I'm more confused by the idea of Scott Carson going to Stoke...

Yeah, £4 million suggests O'Neill wasn't sending him back because he was too expensive, but maybe Rafa's hobby is just trying to make MON explode

I hope Scotty comes good though, maybe a season of uninterrupted no-pressure goalkeeping practice on a Championship-bound death ship will revitalise him, his stock seemed to rise as a result of the Charlton loan

Damn it, the pool of clubs who might conceivably buy Paul Robinson is getting smaller and smaller.

liverpool were quoting spurs and villa 10m for carson according to early summer reports, but then benitez' valuations of his players seems to vary wildly from week to week anyway.

xpost- swap deal with bentley, where we still pay 14m for bentley- ie throwing in fat robbo on a free. pathetic.

Robbo----->Blackburn as part of Bentley deal, Brad USA Snr ----> Nerdish Genius Woody Allen's Aston Villa

sorry I'm just trying to get poached by the Guardian

Hang on, do Boro have a keeper at present? Fantasy Prem is listing Ross Turnbull and Brad Jones, neither of whom seem especially likely.

(note to Boro: Kelvin Davis has Premiership experience and is probably available if you ask nicely)

Brad Jones is going to villa anyway

Surely this is the moment for Southgate to let his closest friend, Andy Woodman, finally get some premiership experience?

xp

Christ, has it really been a decade since Woody was Cobblers keeper?

I'd assumed Boro's new keeper would be either some dude whose dad owns a car business in Middlesbrough and has been going all his life, or the guy who was third choice goalkeeper in Turkey's Euro 2008 squad.

OI NOODLE VAGUE

ENJOY LUMPING UP LONG BALLS TO BIG CHRIS IWELUMO

YRS

:D

lol as chance would have it I was just reading the Express and Star report.

Don't think it will be an issue tho as he'll only be there to complement Sylvan Jebus-Blake on his way to 30+ goals this season.

Also, clearly it would be churlish of me to remind you that we done you home and away last season.

Dear Man City

Thank you for giving us Giorgios Samaras at way less than you paid for him and apparently way less than you'd suggested we could have him for when we borrowed him last season. He was never worth that, but he's better than Chris Killen

love
Celtic

Ha, I await a long-term injury to Blakey and subsequent alteration in tactics. Also last season is already forgotten. Looking forward to Luke Varney's division top-scorer trophy!

28m up front for berbatov and 2m in add-ons. is that ratio a little silly? why not settle on 29m?

Marcus Stewart, now there's a name from the old days. Player of the year at Yeovil last year, apparently. Who knew? I imagine he'll look pretty good in Div 4.

He was never worth that, but he's better than Chris Killen

I remain to be convinced (this is in no way an endorsement of Chris Killen).

28m up front for berbatov and 2m in add-ons.

he comes with a car charger and 4Gb flash card?

fully furnished

Fulham have signed Bobby Zamora and John Pantsil for £6.3m the pair. Also, Darren Byfield has joined Doncaster on a free, which isn't that interesting except the Beeb story revealed that:

1) he was Brizzle Ciddy's lead scorer last season
2) he scored a grand total of eight goals last season

Gary Johnson is saying BC are going for automatic promotion this season. Does he know something everyone else doesn't?

Fulham have signed Bobby Zamora

This is possibly the most grindingly inevitable signing of the year.

I am not Samaras' biggest fan by any means, but if we were going to sign him, I'm glad we did it for £1m rather than £3m. His presence scares Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink into being a better player, so that's OK. I just hope someone now teaches him how much more effective he would be if he could control a ball with his first touch, the big clown.

think City will regret selling Samaras now that their move for Ronaldinho has inexplicably somehow fallen through against all odds

Because Samaras has struck such terror into defences across the country during his last couple of seasons in Manchester?

absolutely, when you only score 12 goals in two years they're kind of spaced out so that you never really know when you'll be hit by the next one and you go insane with fear, he's kind of like the Viet Cong of football

Didn't Samaras usually decide to score when City were either 3-0 up and coasting or 3-0 down and dead in the water? Now Massimo Maccarone on the other hand, BAM! he made those two goals a season count.

Has there been any comment on the AFC Liverpool franchise?

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/07/16/liverpools_little_brother_prep.html

Now Massimo Maccarone on the other hand, BAM! he made those two goals a season count.

also he would always pasta ball

http://homepage.mac.com/kparlato/.Pictures/Fark/Cliches/waisis.gif

italians aren't a different race. they're just corrupt, sexist white folks.

don't get the animated gif - is that dude's last name "waisis"?

waisis 'en? eh?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/nowaysis.gif

Simon Jordan slings his hook (apparently)

New branch of Next opens in Hull

haha Newcastle fucked up signing Aimar at the last minute

haha "Manchester City manager Mark Hughes insists the £25m the club planned to spend on Ronaldinho will not go to waste", yes, that money that was just lying around

haha Robbie Savage is getting sold after six months

George Boateng, 32, my arse.

nice job, Ken!

where can one get the wee film of the wee boy saying 'that's waisis'?

Dear Man City

Thank you for giving us Giorgios Samaras at way less than you paid for him and apparently way less than you'd suggested we could have him for when we borrowed him last season. He was never worth that, but he's better than Chris Killen

love
Celtic

Celtic FC
Glasgow
Scotland

Dear Celtic

Further to your post of a couple of days ago, Samaras is still young and may yet prove to be a diamond, but the lad got a chance - Pearce had to give him a run in the side having paid that much for him - and simply never got going.

All the best for the coming season

City

Dear Man City and Celtic,

I believe the phrase is 'haha you got merked',

Yours,

Giorgios Samaras's agent

NO HYPE LOL

but the lad got a chance - Pearce had to give him a run in the side having paid that much for him - and simply never got going.

i don't think throwing a centre forward on to the left wing constitutes 'giving him a chance'.

also, i feel the same applies to young younes kaboul being played in front of paul robinson and alongside michael dawson. beckenbaur couldn't have done much with those odds.

Pearce had an eccentric approach to tactics sometimes, it's true, but I think Samaras was used as a centre forward far more than the left-wing experiment (sounds interesting!) that you're referring to.

Great hair, though.

oh, fabulous.

Ronaldo goes to Villa:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/topstories/2008/07/17/manchester-united-injured-star-cristiano-ronaldo-s-10k-night-of-booze-and-dancing-at-club-89520-20651635/

I heard he was off to Palace (Caesar's Palace!)

I heard he was off to Yates' (Yate Town FC)!

Fulham have signed Bobby Zamora

This is possibly the most grindingly inevitable signing of the year.

Until Crouchy finally signs for 'Awwy anwyay

Yeah but Crouchy to Portsmouth is presumably quite exciting for both Pompey fans and Crouch himself. Well, maybe Crouch himself. I can't imagine anyone's pulse quickening at the thought of Bobby Zamora playing at Craven Cottage. Maybe they'll sign Robbie Savage as well.

i reckon Wigan will be this season's surprising strong starter but the big 4 will settle in much earlier this time (maybe a few hiccups for Chelsea giving Spurs and Everton a leg up). City to be bottom 3 until early October, with or without Lolnaldinho.

mind still not quite ready to accept Stoke vs Hull as a PL fixture

Dean Windass! Nicky Barmby! Dean Windass! Nicky Barmby!

Weren't Wigan last year's surprising strong starter too?

mind still not quite ready to accept Stoke vs Hull as a PL fixture

Best League In the World etc

doing that is now officially more annoying than people saying it and meaning it

Not yet

http://paper.standartnews.com/images/articles/orig_24527_en.jpg

Lol nonchalant.

He's Dave Kitson, he costs over £5m from Reading and he's going to be running things in Stoke

He must really enjoy relegation or something.

He should, it's 33 points and a bingo on a triple word score.

or playing in the premier league?

Not convinced Stoke will be doing much playing this season.

The BBC squad profile page for Stoke is like a Rosetta Stone of journeymen - Salif Diao, Dominic Matteo, Rory Delap, Shola Ameobi, Andy Griffin, cor blimey.

It's the most sensible approach though: get all of them on one season contracts, if you stay up next season keep half of them and bring some 12-year-old Sierra Leone and Moldovans in, it's the classic small club into the Prem survival tactic.

It's a more impressive line-up than I realised, are they nearly all close season signings? NB "impressive" is relative, right?

Needs Frank Sinclair and Paul Dickov.

Hang on, when did Stoke get Ameobi?

Also, PA is reporting Sunderland are apparently in for Tainio, Malbranque, Kaboul and Chimbonda. All at once. Oh, and maybe Darren Bent as well.

Nothing says emerging Premiership force like spunking £28m on fringe players from the Spurs squad that was such a solid and consistent force in the league last season.

Still, they can all go up in the car together I suppose. That'll be nice.

Keane is more and more looking like the second coming of David O'Leary with every step. Must be something in the water over there.

It's the Roy Keane scouting network in full effect, again.

Also, no-one's been linked with Welsh midfield maestro Jason Koumas yet. This needs to happen. It's not a proper post-season unless it does.

Actually that's a little harsh on Steed Malbranque, he's a very good player. Too good for Sunderland at least.

Keane is more and more looking like the second coming of David O'Leary with every step. Must be something in the water over there.

:D

This is pre-season you big silly Swygart.

Pretty sure it says "off-season" in the title.

Incidentally, just found out yesterday that the Telegraph are doing Fantasy Football competitions for The Championship, League One and League Two...

Pre-season doesn't start till Saints have been run worryingly close by Eastleigh. Everything up to that point is just conjecture.

a Rosetta Stone of journeymen

Speaking of which, Jon Harley's gone to Watford, and professional second-choice keeper Graham Stack will be plying his trade at Plymouth next season.

Remember when Jon Harley was Stuart Pearce's spiritual heir to the England team?

Tainio, Malbranque, Kaboul and Chimbonda. All at once. Oh, and maybe Darren Bent as well

but all of those players would improve sunderland. i'm not even sure i'd be letting any of the first three go before zokora/lennon/rocha

Zokora looks like he's not going anywhere, think the other two will be sold. I don't want Lennon to go, I want him to learn how to cross. At this rate our formation next season will be a flat back four, six midget midfielders bombing all over the place and no one upfront.

pity, because zokora is a big part of the problem, especially if the rest of our midfield is going to consist of dos santos, modric and AN other/s from lennon, jenas, bentley or huddlestone. we really need a disciplined DM.

i don't think lennon's feet are big enough to cross the ball properly- does this make any sense at all?

Rocha's definitely been linked with someone, I think it was Hull.

Malbranque should NOT be sold.

Bent MUST be sold.
I think probably Kaboul should be offloaded also.

Chimbonda, I mean, CHIMBOMBA, actually usually plays well; it's odd that things seem to have gone so wrong around him.

Gardner can go.

Lennon should not be sold except for a big fee - he's a fairly top player! - and if we are sure we don't need him.

Tainio can go but actually he played OK when used last season.

I just remembered Steffen Iversen and how after leaving us he became the most feared striker in Europe.

You sure you've not confused that with Jon Dahl Tomasson leaving Newcastle?

agree about malbranque and shimbomba.

bent shouldn't be sold until we know exactly who we're likely to be left with at the end of this transfer window.

kaboul i'd definitely give another year alongside woodgate/king.

gardner joins zokora and lee young pyo in list of players i'd release on a free if necessary.

lennon isn't really much use, unless we're converting to wing backs.

i like tainio, he's better than zokora by miles.

i can't remember steffen iversen ever gaining that rep, though.

You're right, it was Tomasson. But something like this DID happen to Iversen too, didn't it? Didn't he at least score winners for some Scandinavian team vs Milan in the CL?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steffen_Iversen

He's still only 31!!!

"Iversen is known for his finishing abilities and astonishing heading skills. He is a constant threat to the opponents' defence and goalkeeper. Many consider Iversen the best header in Norway, which means beating, among others, former team-mate Vidar Riseth, Hannes Sigurdsson and Olivier Occean."

But I think I was quite wrong about this basically. He doesn't really seem to have fulfilled himself in Europe after all.

Chimbonda is okay going forward but his positional sense defensively is AWFUL, he gets away with it a lot but he's one of the players who should be shipped out if we're going to progress. Also, shit attitude, doesn't want to be playing for the club etc etc. Hutton looks better already I think.

I'd keep Steed but if balancing the books is an issue then he's one we'd probably get a decent price for. If we're going to have Dos Santos, Bentley, Lennon and maybe Modric who can play out wide he's likely to be surplus to requirements. Plus I like him and I want him to do well somewhere and that doesn't look like happening at Spurs.

Incidentally all indications are that Ramos wants to play a 4-3-3 with a lone striker supported by Dos Santos and Bentley maybe on either flank, and Modric in support. This is probably good news for a deep lying playmaker like Two Ton Tom but I'm not sure where it leaves Zokora or Jenas.

Or Keane !!

It leaves Keane sat next to Andrei Voronin on the Anfield bench :(

Too much Spurs.

OK, alternative items for discussion:

STROP GREEN
DERBY'S FINGER ON THE HULSE
Shrewsbury midfielder Ben Davies admits to having goal targets for next term but won't say what they are

OTM xpost AND not-xpost

that third headline needs some work

TEN BEN, SON
Shrewd Davies aims for double figures

Actually, Bournemouth getting new owners is probably a pretty big story for them.

Also, tonight is the night of Claus Lundekvam's testimonial, featuring the last-ever reunion of his mighty central defensive partnership with Michael Svensson, as well as Jan "Total Football" Poortvliet's first home game in charge of Saints.

I now feel guilty for killing the hotspur chat.

You should.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mP8uWWpkSFY

Will Downfall redubs ever stop being funny? Answer: no.

Marlon King set to become worst-ever Wigan Athletic signing

HAHAHAHHAA xpost

AND NOT XPOST HAHAHHAA

The Chelsea overdub is much funnier than the Man Utd one.

In tears at the 'unfriend Lampard from Facebook' bit.

hitler's on dis ting

downfall overdub top five anyone?

i wonder what jenas is worth at the moment?

Top five fantasy downfall overdubs:

1. Man City
2. Newcastle
3. West Ham
4. INTERRUPTING THIS POST TO BRING YOU BREAKING NEWS!

look you are not gonna be getting players better than lennon or jenas in as things are so settle down and prepare for 5th again xp

In tears at the 'unfriend Lampard from Facebook' bit.

same here. tremendous

5th again? if we see 7th this season it will be a miracle.

^^^ True like the Tractatus.

It's just occurred to me did Villa sign Steve Sidwell as a replacement for Barry and then decide not to sell Barry to Liverpool after all? Lol Sidwell.

ha, never occurred to me!

Scooty Carson eventually goes to West Brom for £3.5million. Given the moderate shoddiness of Brom's defence last season, that's a pretty fantastic signing by yer man Mowbray there.

r.i.p. dean kiely ;_;

in light of spurs making an official complaint, i suppose a ten point deduction each for liverpool and man utd is out of the question?

Hooray!!!

Let's take the fight to them!

Are the Spurs accusing clubs of tapping up related to the Spurs who tapped up Juande Ramos?

Haha or Wayne Routledge unless I'm mistaken. I suspect Simon Jordon is bashing away at a keyboard knocking out a opinion piece in clammy-handed rage as we speak.

http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/2126/297fullvi2.jpg

kaka to chelsea??

Steve Sidwell gets out of the traps early in the ILE Player of the Season race.

He's not a particularly bad footballer but for some reason I can tell I'm going to really enjoy having a laugh at his expense this season.

Newcastle are back.

--
Kevin Keegan wants "four quality signings" before the season begins and has warned Newcastle United's board that his current squad is ill equipped to withstand the rigours of Premier League combat. "Ideally I'd like about 20 new players," the manager joked after watching a renascent Damien Duff register a hat-trick during Saturday's deconstruction of Hartlepool. "Seriously, about four, about four quality players in the right positions."
--

KK's 'joke' then 'Seriously'; 'deconstruction'!

--
Even more encouragingly, the "real" Duff appeared to be strutting his stuff. Glenn Roeder, the Newcastle manager who brought him to Tyneside from Chelsea two years ago, constantly deflected questions about the poverty of the Ireland winger's performances by insisting: "Form is temporary but class is permanent."
--

Nice one.

--
Here that class finally began to reassert itself as Duff, alternating between the right and left, dusted down his repertoire of defence-confounding tricks before bewitching spectators and bewildering Hartlepool in equal measure. "I think we've got to draw a line under what's gone before with Damien," said Keegan. "The lad's never had a pre-season in three years but he's worked so hard this summer. After 80 minutes it looked like he had a turbo-charger in him. He's back to the weight he was at 18; I think you'll see a different Damien Duff this season."
--

Does KK know what DD weighed at 18?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/jul/21/newcastleunited

Ronaldo Thinks.

--
The Portuguese winger, currently on holiday in California and out of action until October after undergoing knee surgery this month, added that any decision made would not be based on money. "I've had hundreds of questions about Manchester United and Real Madrid," he told ESPN. "What do you want me to say? That I'm going or I'm staying? I don't know about the future, only God knows it. I can't say any more. Great players are always hounded by great clubs. It's a normal situation. I have always been hounded, not only this year."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/jul/21/manchesterunited.ronaldo
--

Hounded!!!

http://image.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/pictures/2008/07/19/sidwell460276.jpg

Man, Laursen pulls the best faces

http://im.sport.cz/939/19398-article-glerg.jpg

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/pictures/2007/11/11/SteveBennett1.jpg

LOL I remember that last one!

levy, levy, levy

damien duff has slimmed down, but judging by his 5 a side performance in the UCD courts a fortnight ago he won't be taking any premier league defences by storm any time soon.

First imaginary flute playing incident of the season

dimitar berbatov's wiki page no longer lists his favourite band as das efx :(

Yeah I heard he prefers Scouting For Girls these days.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080109104958AAFJaoR

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Bridge

Bridge has also wanted EFX for just under a year now

I have never heard of EFX.

It is odd how you people know about these strange web pages that no-one save the head of that player's fan club would think to look at.

In an issue of the official Chelsea Magazine, Bridge revealed his love for the Star Wars films and told of how his girlfriend bought him a Imperial Stormtrooper outfit.

haha, biggety-bridge. does it say who originally done the edit on wiki?

it's probly gonna be like dj yoda or someone

yoda & greenpeace probly being spurs fans judging by their old mixtape titles

And ethnicity.

well yeah i wasnt referring to 'unthugged'

Yid Control

yid-a

UK Hip-Hop has always been a little shy to nail its football colours to the mast. I just assume that they're all Arsenal fans.

This sucks, but it's a great cover:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/Youcantrap_single.JPG

yid pro stat quo

UK Hip-Hop has always been a little shy to nail its football colours to the mast.

About as common to hear a UK hip-hop artist talk about football as it is to see a black face in a crowd at Premiership match

Grime MCs are overwhelmingly Arsenal, seemingly.

That might just be an excuse for lots of Big Gunner lines though.

A collector's item, this album was produced by Arsenal fans - including some of the most experienced and respected contemporary musicians working in the UK - for Arsenal fans, We Love You Arsenal is truly an ambitious project. Boasting the talents of, amongst others, MOBO nominee Blak Twang, MC Neat and M People's Shovell, the album also features a track produced by the mighty Arthur Baker.

blak twang knew precisely fuck all about the arse when fat lace sports quizzed him, incidentally.

Not-actually-poor N London media/entertainment wideboy types are overwhemlingly Arsenal, actually.

Sway ought to be Spurs, but his post-mixtape career would have been a lot better if it had just been a load of Spurs diss tracks

Until they all switch allegiance to Iain Dowie's blue and white army. I shall enjoy watching you fail this season, rtc.

i'm not so sure matt!! wiley & slimzee are spurs, and we all know about riko dan.

is it time to repost roll deep vs towers of london 5-a-side yet.

I keep meaning to ask Gareth for a copy of the El Hadji Diouf tribute album.

Featuring MC Carolgees & Spit the Dog

Sway ought to be Spurs, but his post-mixtape career would have been a lot better if it had just been a load of Spurs diss tracks

-- MPx4A, Monday, 21 July 2008 11:30 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Pretty sure I've seen Pyrelli in a Spurs shirt.

(insert "No, that was Tom Huddlestone" gag here)

That was no shirt, that was a tent

Tom Huddlestone - up your speed!!!

^^ lol

rangers actually had a fully fledged grime mc on their books until recently (terminator aka shabazz baidoo) so i think we win by default

http://www.icons.com/baidoo/

^^essential reading

Actually, when your name is SHABAZZ BAIDOO, why on earth would you give yourself a stage name?

all icons pages are exactly like that though unless you're aki rihilahti or moritz volz or some other comedy twat

http://clippednews.files.wordpress.com/2006/06/shabaz.thumbnail.jpg

I wonder what Kevin-Prince Boateng's is like

^^^ slightly different connotations to 'Terminator'. (xpost)

dubbledge makin his case on ukhh.com:

"But I think one of the main reasons our artists aren’t reaching that level comes down to support from the media, which includes radio. It’s like the England football team, if the media backed them instead of slating them all the time they’d be going out on the pitch full of confidence and making more moves. It’s the same thing with UK artists, if the media was properly supporting the UK stuff then who knows where we’d get? So with ‘The Message’ I’m telling deejays that if they’re not playing my stuff then the record is about them."

no matt, wdyll is the other thread

r|t|c bringing the HEAT this morning

he hasn't responded to my dowiebaiting yet

UKHH: I understand that you’re something of an anglophile, have you picked up any English habits through your visits here? A taste for fish & chips perhaps, a football team, etc?..

CADENCE WEAPON: Most of the music I listen to is from the UK. I try to do the tourist things, but I don’t want to do the cheesy stuff, like coming here for a month and having a cockney accident. I want to find out the reasons behind stuff I listen to do with certain areas, why is it like that? I like the grime scene, so I want to get into that, I’ve met a few people. I hung out with Jammer yesterday; I want to get some grime rappers to jump on my beats. I like the old English music as well; The Fall, Joy Division and Happy Mondays. Actually I use to do a Joy Division cover of ‘Isolation’. I need to go to Fabric as well, I’d love to do a Fabriclive mix. When I have the time I want to go see a football game, my old roommate was an Arsenal nut. But generally I’m not too into the tourist scene…

Pretty sure CW was keen on the "Jay Jay Okocha of Stylus" comment I made about him once, maybe he's a Bolton fan on the DL

Or Hull. Or Qatar SC.

Jeezus fucking H, this thread has gone into A&E since I last looked at it.

Apparently Omar Sharif supports Hull City

cockney accident?

http://uktv.co.uk/images/standardItem/l1/567948_L1.jpg

http://www.trendfresh.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/dre.jpg

Back in 1988 I was in London on a promotional tour with NWA, and one night we were watching TV and these cool cats in red came on the box. They whupped some poor dudes four or five zip.

Rotherham United?

Why does Dre have a 1970s calculator on his mixing desk?

http://www.goal.com/resultsimg/5992.jpg

cadence kazim-kazim more like

I just want to say "the blues are gonna win, and they're gonna win early" again at this point

poor pinefox wants wall-to-wall SPURS SPURS SPURS

do they not have their own tv station by now?

Exciting footballing news-happenings on Monday:

Makelele's off to crisis club PSG, Kitson's urging his new mates at Stoke to follow his example of listing their transfer history at people in order to intimidate them, Roy Hodgson's still looking to make a couple more signings (my instinctive reaction to this news: "Clinton Morrison"), and apparently Doncaster are in for Shola Ameobi's brother.

actually, it may have been "the reds are gonna win", in reference to an Arsenal-Man U match

It was The Blues, referring to a Chelsea/Man Utd game.

Kitson's at Stoke? RIP. I refuse to acknowledge any further attempts by Passantino to uphold him as a virtuous, Scrabble-playing English football hero.

http://a123.g.akamai.net/f/123/12465/1d/media.canada.com/8c8b3290-2b08-4dc6-8e3e-2cc645fdfe05/030408_cadence-weapon.jpg

"fucking mark hughes hasnt called back"

Salif Diao:

AS Monaco
→ SAS Epinal (loan)
CS Sedan Ardennes
Liverpool reserves
→ Birmingham City (loan)
→ Portsmouth (loan)
→ Stoke City (loan)
Stoke City

QUAKING IN FEAR FROM STAMFORD BRIDGE ALL THE WAY TO OLD TRAFFORD.

it's a good name though, it's one of those names you'd say if you were too lazy to try and be funny so you just invoke a mildly obscure footballer name in a slightly unexpected context and hope for the best

Salifs On A Plane!

Stern John and the Jing Jang Jong.

A Boston United fanzine attempts to adjust to life in the Northern Premier League

Guardian Rumour Mill:

--
Liverpool's light fingers are wandering over 19-year-old Paris Saint-Germain striker David Ngog. They'll pay £1.5m for his services, which appears a paltry sum until you realise that he's Jean-Alain Boumsong's cousin. Ah.

After rolling Robbie Keane and Dimitar Berbatov up in a carpet and throwing them into the Mersey and Manchester Ship Canal respectively, Tottenham's Juande Ramos will have £57m in unmarked notes burning a hole in his swag bag. Real Zaragoza's Diego Milito, Spartak Moscow's Roman Pavlyuchenko, Blackburn's David Bentley and Sevilla's Diego Capel will all join him in his north London hideout.

Everton's David Moyes is also pulling a pair of tights over his head and preparing for a series of daring raids. He wants to snatch Milito from under Ramos's nose and take Darren Bent off his hands too.

--

It would be nice to think that if LFC buy this striker they won't need Keane. But I will not think that.

I hope that Moyes buys Bent, for lots of ££; I expect he will be a Blue success. I wonder if Steady Mike agrees.

i still think that bent has the potential to be a spurs success- i assumed we had bought him with a view to taking over from berbatov in the long run anyway.

i figured Pavlyuchenko for Spurs - he's no Rebrov etc.

Stoke want Sunderland reserve keeper Marton Fulop for £3m. (Daily Mirror)

OK, these figures are getting silly now

Everton's David Moyes is also pulling a pair of tights over his head

they should do more of this

"Bolton's Gary Megson is taking the tights off his head at last"

Hm ... what will we see underneath?

I don't see how Bent can succeed at Spurs, on what he's shown. But somehow I can see him scoring goals for another club and saying he wants to put his WHITE HART PAIN behind him, with a manager who really understands him and wants to play him - *it was so frustrating, first under Martin Jol then Juande Ramos*, blah

Sunderland's transfer policy is, as people have pointed out, funny.

Beeb has now latched onto the Spurs foursome heading to Sunderland story, and it reckons Kaboul is going there, contrary to what him and his agent were saying.

Says Chimbonda:

Keane's honesty and openness really were fantastic

I don't see how Bent can succeed at Spurs, on what he's shown

that he can't score goals without being given a fair chance? i really think selling him at an 8m loss now makes no sense. especially that we now seem to have a few midfielders that can pass and move.

Also: Chelsea flog Boulahrouz to Stuttgart, Richard Wright has found his way back to Ipswich, Charlton are following up the capture of Stuart Fleetwood by getting someone from Team Bath, Port Vale have got Louis Dodds off Leicester, Rushden have signed Sagi Burton and Gareth Jelleyman, and Peter Lovenkrands has exclusively revealed that he'd like to go back to Rangers.

have signed Sagi Burton and Gareth Jelleyman,

CM99, never forget

Gareth Jelleyman becomes captain of Wales in some CM00/01 games I've played.

And the Team Bath player is Stuart Canham. Look out for him this season. Our non-league strikeforce is going places.

After all, that plan worked so well for Gillingham last season...

Hey - one of Gillingham's non-league strikers was actually OUR non-league striker, on loan. Scored something like half their goals, including the League One GOTS. I'll find it on Youtube so you can quake in fear.

At the end of this video.

Saints are also now making encouraging noises about keeping Nathan Dyer. Which must mean him and BWP have got quite the lawyer up their sleeves...

I think I saw Sean Canham, who JGO has so unkindly named Stuart, score his first competitive goal, for Exeter away at Dagenham and/or Redbridge.

I hope he can handle the big step up in class from Southern League Premier to Championship: if he can I think it'll take a little while, but he's still young and I understand he's been looking very good.

oops sorry sean if you're reading

someone who certainly isn't reading is dave kitson, now of stoke and thus a wanker

will sean usurp him in ilx's sympathies?

let's watch and see

rangers actually had a fully fledged grime mc on their books until recently (terminator aka shabazz baidoo) so i think we win by default

I loaned shabazz baidoo to leyton orient in fm 2008, the fans hated him from day one, and he only scored one goal, he was no adam boyd.

Ah yes, the reputed "Tottenham Four" to Sunderland.

If Chimbonda goes there he will FINALLY, FINALLY have to accept that Chelsea are not inspecting his asshole daily. He stresses me out and I want rid of him.

Kaboul, poor kid. He was a poor player on a defensively poor team. There are people on Spurs message boards who still salivate at the prospect of Benoit Assou-Ekotto,

Tainio has racked up big minutes in some of our most important matches in the last two seasons. He hasn't disappointed in those matches. He is a good man. He gets injured a lot. He will be like Sunderland's OTHER Andy Reid when they buy him. (Also not quite as fond of pies as Andy Reid.)

Malbranque's daring escape from Fulham to Tottenham was fucking legendary to begin with, let alone the fact that he outplayed his wing counterpart Aaron "98 Degrees" Lennon despite being fifty years older, etc. etc. Bon, je t'explique. MALBRANQUE SOUTENAIT TOUT SEUL L'ÉQUIPE de TOTTENHAM PENDANT LA SAISON 07-08.

If Roy Keane plays Tainio as a disciplined holding midfielder he will do well for them, I think. I like him as a player but he was always poorly utilised at Spurs.

I'm surprised we didn't do more to try and sell Kaboul to a French club or something. Potentially a very good defender thrown in at the deep end way too soon and I fear that's fucked his career.

I suspect Roy Keane's 'honesty' was more along the lines of "we know you're in here for the money, we desperately need a half-decent right-back, let's not piss about, how much do you want?"

Ta ta Maka. End of an era, only player signed in Roman's barmy first summer that suggested any thinking was taking place. True genius in the Zola mold of being both a brilliant player and professional.

Now back to the Spurs bring-and-buy sale. What to do with Anthony Gardner?

I'll really miss Makalele, one of my favourite Premiership players of the last few years. Still, maybe it means Michael Essien might get played in position a bit more often.

Gardner to Charlton, or Chelsea, or Celtic.

Fields of Salmon is correct about Tainio - he stepped up to the plate. He is also OTM about STEED, who should NOT be sold; this is a scandal. Chimbomba usually plays well, I still believe, but he seems to have become disruptive somehow. Kaboul I cannot really judge. He did score a few goals.

In what I saw of Bent live at WHL, he never convinced; didn't seem to be trying; didn't seem to have ability; seemed a phoney. He should never have been bought in the first place - we all knew this, and now we are told that the sale of our good players, who have worked for the team, is necessary to subsidize this error. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Makalele has certainly made a big impact in England. As far as I can tell he has even had a sandwich named after him, THE MAKALELE ROLL.

I want Chelsea players to be played out of position as often as possible.

now we are told that the sale of our good players, who have worked for the team, is necessary to subsidize this error

We are not being told this, we are being told they're being sold because, well, they want to go to bigger clubs and play in the Champions League. Or go elsewhere and make more money. But yes you're maybe right about Steed.

Bent's scoring record for Charlton was pretty phenomenal considering how unbelievably shit most of the team was, and how little service he got. I would prefer to see him stay, get a run in the team and play well than be sold and do it for someone else. I think we just destroyed his confidence, there were chances he would have taken easily for Charlton that for Spurs he bottled and passed to someone else. He'd have done brilliantly at West Ham.

Speaking of West Ham, have they signed anyone at all yet?

the treatment of Tainio and Malbranque is just one of those bewildering things where managers that see these players every day seem to have a completely different opinion of them than fans that watch them play every week.

i'd like to see kaboul kept as DM, and subbed in for zokora in that sunderland batch deal. imagine that phoney trying to convince keano he was a proper midfielder.

Matt OTM all over.

one of those bewildering things where managers that see these players every day seem to have a completely different opinion of them than fans that watch them play every week

Utterly bewildering that. I can't even begin to imagine how that could possibly be the case.

He want his own men in probably

Utterly bewildering that. I can't even begin to imagine how that could possibly be the case.

-- Matt DC, 22 July 2008 09:30 (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

well, go on.

Mafia fail in bid to buy Lazio

http://www.goal.com/en/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=786678

Apologies if this is old news.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-B6ucoSoIy4

A few Brazilians defy their European clubs in attempting to take part in the Olympics

http://theoriginalwinger.com/2008-07-22-getting-ugly-for-brazil

Pete, are you suggesting that Darren Huckerby is in some way not legendary?

"He is an English legend....He comes from..N...N..the Nor-fork team, the last five years starring in nor.. in north-east England"

He scored the second best goal ever you know. Respect to Huckerby for playing out in San Jose rather than for Hull or Stoke though.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/jul/23/chelsea.manchesterunited

TS: Pre-season mind games vs made-up summer transfer rumours.

Huckerby is big news over here. Well, in MLS circles at least. San Jose has the most pathetic offense in the league.

Speaking of pathetic Californian teams, Landon Donovan seems to want to leave the Gals for the premiership.

http://www.armchairgm.com/index.php?title=Rumor_Mill:_Donovan_to_Europe

(the possibility of Landycakes wanting out of LA coupled with recently-released Abel Xavier publically dissing their coach, Ruud Gullit, for being adversarial with everyone on the team but Beckham makes me giddy, because srsly fuck LA, the bunch of Galactico-wannabes)

Huckerby is big news over here. Well, in MLS circles at least. San Jose has the most pathetic offense in the league.

Norfolk Soccer Legend Darren Huckerby will easily bring bring 5-7 goals a season to the table. I'm just glad it seems the annual links with Celtic are finally over.

Fuck trophies, here's Will Ferrell in a Chelsea shirt.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZjxEA3Qz-QM

Better than winning the European Cup.

I hear West Ham have signed a player

or something, I dunno

Bahrami. He looked good in the Euro Championships.

OK, following on from Tainio, Sunderland's scouting network have swooped again to secure the signature of...

...

...

...

... Nick Colgan. Seriously.

didn't he play 52 minutes for man u or am i making that up

Nope, that was Nick Culkin.

:(

Dear Bolton fans and friends,

I would just like to say a very big thank you to everyone who has taken the time and trouble to contact me, via Guillem's website, with your messages of support over the last couple of months.

Nothing could have prepared me for the huge number of emails that Guillem has passed on to me, and when he told me that he had some messages from the fans for me to read, I had no idea that there would be so many. I hope you will all forgive me for responding in an open letter, I would love to reply to each and every one of you, but there are so many that it would be impossible.

It is because of all your kind words that I am writing this letter in much better spirits than the last time Guillem published a letter from me on the site. Back then I was still very upset at the way that I had left Bolton Wanderers without ever having been given the opportunity to say goodbye to the fans. It would have been wonderful to have pulled on that white shirt one more time in order to thank the fans for all of the terrific memories that you have given me and the wonderful times that we have shared.

As I said in my last letter, I always imagined that I would have the opportunity to say goodbye in person, in front of the supporters, in a packed stadium. I shall always cherish the many times that the Reebok chanted my name and it would have been beautiful to hear it for just one last time.

However, along with so many great memories of my time at Bolton, I now have your wonderful messages of support to take with me wherever I go.

I have to admit that one of the reasons it has taken me a while to respond is because it has taken me a very long time to read through them all. I've only been able to read a few at a time because, if I'm honest, reading them has been very emotional for me.

I always hoped that I could return to Bolton one day and be considered as one of your own, and now, thanks to all of your letters, I know that I will always be a part of the Bolton family. I now know that I will always be welcome and I feel so honoured that you all remember me with such warmth.

I would love to be able to reply to each and every one of you: to those of you who reminded me of so many wonderful moments - like my debut at Old Trafford, my first goal against Liverpool and the cup final; to those of you who remembered singing Happy Birthday to me; to the guys who told me about the photographs and autographs that they cherish; to all of you who have invited me around for a cup of tea; to all of you with your Ivan Campo wigs; to those who posted messages of support in the forums - The Wanderer and Bolton Banter . To all of you: Thank you!

It would have been perfect to have said goodbye in person - and who knows, Guillem says there may be something in the pipeline - but at least now I have all of your words to take with me on my journey forward. And now that is what we all must do: look forward. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that all of you can look forward to some wonderful times supporting the club. I shall be watching as well, cheering you on and dreaming of some great times ahead for Bolton. I was very upset at the way that I left the club, but I am not bitter, and I wish everyone associated with Bolton Wanderers football club all the very best of luck for the future.

Most importantly, I sincerely hope that you, the fans and people of Bolton - a place that I shall always think of as home - enjoy all of the success and happiness that you, some of the best fans in the world and such wonderful people, so very much deserve. I consider myself privileged to have had the opportunity to have represented you and - as I can see from your letters - to have helped bring as much joy to you as you have given to me.

As I said in my last letter, I am missing you all and I hope very much to return one day, but until we next meet again, thank you Bolton. Thank you.

Ivan Campo

Few things have genuinely touched me of late... *sniff*

I've decided to really start liking Bolton Wanderers this season, partly because they've just made the stupidest signing in living memory, but mostly because they're somehow still a Premiership club and I don't feel any ill-will towards their style of football now I've seen Stoke and Watford "play". They've actually strung some half-decent stuff together at times. Even Diouf is (sorta) forgiven.

Also, genuine hatefuls Birmingham City are no longer a Premiership side, meaning the vast majority of relegatable evil is purged. Stoke for 10 points next season, please. WBA to finish mid-table, Hull to subside with grace.

I really want F3rg to just completely lose it one day and rip into Sullivan'n'chums with protracted and unmerciful vigour. N.B. if he has already done this, please link.

Ferg's too chill for that.