How do you rekindle your love affair with life?

usually when i feel down like this my mood is usually bettered pretty permanently by hanging out with bros, but if you don't have any good friends that won't really work. i would advise against like trying to force yourself into making friends, cuz then you realize that you don't like them (or as much as your old bros) and that just makes it worse

go to the beach

I've got it: windsurfing. http://www.northsoundings.com/nso_02_2_photographs/02_2_windsurfing_328.jpg

burt i knew you had it in you man

once there was a time when life felt like this:

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/BOOK1.jpg
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/zing.jpg
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/party-1.jpg

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/BAC2429.jpg
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/AreKids2.gif
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/0259905dac3a.jpg

now it feels like this

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/copsmusclingin.gif
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/1180581638331.jpg
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/AU4742.jpg

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j251/mzing12/zing.jpg
!!!!!!

Go see a Rush concert. Totally life affirming. Makes my divorce proceedings seem completely insignificant.

start hunting men for sport

Do more, think less, get some sunshine every day, and do some kind of exercise on a regular basis.

And also maximize contact with people who make you feel good after your interactions. If you feel icky after dealing with someone, your gut is right. There are so many awesome people out there. DOn't let the idiots clog up your race track?

What happened to law school? Half the incoming class feels like you do. It's a great place to make friends.

Exercise and take up a new hobby.

Burt Stanton aka the sustainable gardener?

That soul-sucking work week sounds like a problem, too.

Either cut back to a healthier schedule or do something you really like.

yeah a new hobbie works for me.

Exercising and eating well is probably the best thing a human being could ever do. I was always a mopey schlub until I started eating fruits, vegetables, and taking those Omega 3 fish oil pills everyday. It's like an entirely different world now.

how to start exercising before having the energy to do so though? serious chicken and egg of lethargy here.

just push through it homie - that discipline is whats so energizing abt excersize

having life feel exciting, eventful and meaningful is definitely a difficult thing to do on your own, unless you have a manic or schizotypal disorder; i think the lack of close friends or relations might be the crux of the problem here

or passions, one must have a passion. and intimacy. passion and intimacy.

and grass.

appreciating yr own basic vitality is good - better than grasping for the momentary pleasures of robot saxophone or whatever. just the ability to feel so horrible or care so much that yr life isnt what you want it to be - that human sensitivity that complaint - its all quite intimate and profound.

“I…wasn’t happy at all, whatever happy means, but of course I didn’t say this to anybody because it was such a cliché – ‘Tears of a Clown,’’Richard Cory,’ etc. – and the circle of people who seemed important to me seemed much more dry, oblique and contemptuous of clichés than that, and so of course I spent all my time trying to get them to think I was dry and jaded as well.”

Here are some of the various things I tried: EST, riding a ten-speed to Nova Scotia and back, hypnosis, cocaine, sacro-cervical chiropractic, joining a charismatic church, jogging, pro bono work for the Ad Council, meditation classes, the Masons, analysis, the Landmark Forum, the Course in Miracles, a right-brain drawing workshop, celibacy…Corvettes, and trying to sleep with a different girl every night for two straight months…”

whats that from?

^^^ david foster wallace is the biggest anhedonic depressive ever, maybe

It's been tough getting a new life going, I guess. For some reason guys think I'm going to steal their girlfriends, so they compete with me and act like dicks even though I'm about as innocuous and pleasant as it gets IRL. Girls I'm not into want to eat my skin, and girls I am into treat me like dirt. The close friendships ended in Melrose Place bullshit, and the old friendships just don't feel the same anymore.

It's like you hit a certain age and it just doesn't feel like you can get a normal life going again if it somehow gets off track.

When I feel like this, I usually start devising exotic solo road-trips, which I of course never do, which then makes me feel even more useless.

how old are you, burt?

25

join a book club.

I'm about as innocuous and pleasant as it gets IRL.

-- burt_stanton, Monday, June 2, 2008 10:32 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

im guessing you could benefit from a little more sophistication in yr introspection burt

eat some grits.

humans have to work to make money, which puts you in a rut. you have to have good people around you, and things you're interested in doing. easier said than done.

wtf there is absolutely nothing wrong with work - in fact if approached with the proper attitude it is absolutely an antidote to depression

burt i'm 25, too, and i really don't think it's uncommon to take inventory of your life, your values, and your priorities at this age. i want to say that this is all Part of Growing Up but i wouldn't want to trivialize the quarter-life crisis, as they call it, because it sucks. but at least you're being conscious about what you're going through, which is not a claim everyone can make.

For some reason guys think I'm going to steal their girlfriends, so they compete with me and act like dicks even though I'm about as innocuous and pleasant as it gets IRL.

Maybe you are being a little too pleasant to the girlfriends? Or somehow they are vibing your combined singleness + ability to have superficial physical relationships?

Not cool.

That is not the kind of new friend many folks like to have hanging around. Would you?

ill swap you some of my infinite life satisfaction for a few hours of that job.

wtf there is absolutely nothing wrong with work - in fact if approached with the proper attitude it is absolutely an antidote to depression

-- jhøshea, Monday, June 2, 2008 2:43 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i have a lot of things i'd rather be doing than sitting in this office right now.

congratulations

thanks!

yeah, i don't exactly love my job, which is arguably really trivial, but at least i get some sense of accomplishment when i complete a major project and satisfaction when i do my job well

i do too but i'd rather feel accomplished getting things done that actually matter to me.

Maybe you are being a little too pleasant to the girlfriends? Or somehow they are vibing your combined singleness + ability to have superficial physical relationships?

haha, no, it's not even when they're around. I remember I started my first real job and there were only a few other people my age. I sat with them at lunch and the three main dudes were were absolute dickheads to me for about 2 years straight (the rest were girls or married, and were fine) . I asked one of the girls what the hell was wrong with them and she said, "they're jealous of you." and I'm like "why?"

Then a few weeks ago at some hometown party an old friend's girlfriend I guess was checking me out and the two got in a huge fight; I haven't been invited back. It's always been like that. It was the same way with my two older brothers ... guys competed like hell with them, but they rated somewhere between a 9 and 10 on the looks and popularity scale. I'm not quite there, but they made the most of it.

What frustrates me is I don't want any of that shit, I just want a peaceful life with some good friends, fulfilling career, etc.

i'd rather feel accomplished and satisfied in my own choice of work but a surfeit of leisure never did anyone good, it leads to dissolution and lethargy

First try listening to the Albert Ayler album New Grass (or really most anything by AC/DC) really really loud and in your underwear and jump a lot. Then use this newfound energy to think of something to invent or build, then invent or build it. If you lack the knowledge and knowhow to execute this make it your new mission to gain said knowledge and knowhow. Somewhere in all this you should eat way too much and then take naps. Also play Twirlystick, a game you play by spinning in circles for one minute and then throwing a stick and chasing after it while your friend try to tackle you; this is preferably done in public view. Yell things. Start a change jar. Don't be afraid to cry. Draw pictures of boobies. Try a new food. Make life happen. Do all this and more and you will feel wonderful.

[they rated somewhere between a 9 and 10 on the looks and popularity scale. I'm not quite there]

but nearly?

Listen to Vampire Weekend

i agree elmo. i guess it's just the kind of work. we're not all privileged enough to be able to do what we want to do.

I have no idea what you should do Burt, I'm in a similar spot actually. But I'm moving to New Zealand in six months or so, so I'm hoping that remedies things a bit.

Maybe not an option for everyone, of course.

yeah, i don't exactly love my job, which is arguably really trivial, but at least i get some sense of accomplishment when i complete a major project and satisfaction when i do my job well

-- elmo argonaut, Monday, June 2, 2008 10:50 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i do too but i'd rather feel accomplished getting things done that actually matter to me.

-- Surmounter, Monday, June 2, 2008 10:51 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

lol feeding yrself doesnt matter to you? is it trivial? am i just being foolish in thinking there mustve been a time and place where paying your own way was in itself considered virtuous even if it didnt omg fulfill all my myriad important needs!

I don't think "taking a break" from a life you can't enjoy can rekindle your love for it any more than "the weekend" rekindles your love for Mondays.

Unless you owe money to the mafia, or your 60 hour workweek is a well-defined stage in a career you know is right for you, or it's really the only thing you're capable of, why are you doing it?

That seems to be one of the options people take when they're in this situation: they move to a new country or go back to school.

i'm not sure what's so hard to understand jhos. feeding myself matters, of course. i'd just rather be able to feed myself doing what i really love to do, instead of raising money for other people to be able to do what they love to do. but it's not possible, which makes me sad. does that make sense?

Feeding yourself costs like $10 a day. Yes, it's trivial.

i feel like i get home every day, and i have like 2 hours to do what i really care about. that's very sad to me.

Not so much a "break from life" for me as a complete derailing of it.

i feel like i get home every day, and i have like 2 hours to do what i really care about. that's very sad to me.

-- Surmounter, Monday, June 2, 2008 10:02 AM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

YEP

jhoshea, of course being able to provide for myself is important! but even beyond a basic level of survival and having basic creature comforts, i would eventually like to work at something more aptly suited to my own interests. make work more like play, etc.

sur, when i'm feeling generous of myself, i try to focus on the professional skills i'm developing, like how to effectively deal with people on the phone, how to manage my task-load, and especially the ability to manage my time. it's not glamorous but it's definitely important.

ya

theres just v little hope for any sort of sense of well being if you only find meaning in "the things you love"

and with that, i'm back to doing my actual workaday work. later!

the things you love = life.

no one said only, did they?

WHAT HAPPENED TO LAW SCHOOL?

You're obviously very smart and interesting. A lot of people could use your help.

No job is trivial, even in the Department of Water and Power.

i do find meaning in what i do for a living, otherwise i wouldn't be doing it. but i'd also like to do the things i love. it would be great if i could do those things to make a living, because at this point, i don't have much time for them. what's wrong with that?

no, no one said ONLY. it's just that the things i love do mean the most to me, which i don't think is very odd. i'd like to be able to devote more of myself to them.

How about finding meaning in the things you do? Yeah, you can't just take any person at random and ask them "what do you love?" and tell them to survive off their answers. People's answers are going to be the escapist bullshit they rely on to cope with the mindless jobs they hate.

Oh yeah, I'm still going to C4rd0z0. Being unemployed and having no money makes for a ridiculously boring life right now.

(Not that everyone hates their job, but "I hate my job" is a cliche for a reason.)

i think it's a very well-established concept that the need to work/make money can get in the way of happiness, even though keeping busy with work can alleviate depression. i'm certainly not the first to think about this.

See #52 and #58.

People's answers are going to be the escapist bullshit they rely on to cope with the mindless jobs they hate.

-- Kerm, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:09 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^^

And good for Cardoza. There will be tons of new people there, many of whom are even newer to New York than you are.

You are sooo lucky to be in Brooklyn. There is not enough time in the day to see all the cool free art galleries in Williamsburg.

i have to say Kerm i'm not sure what that means...

you're saying people can't survive off what they love, which i get. but what about this escapist bullshit? outside activites aren't always escapist bullshit, that's for sure.

no one in the world LOVES the job that they have all the time 24/7.

Yeah, people who say they do are douchebags.

Nah, I'm not in Brooklyn now... stuck in the hometown in the suburbs. I have to find an apartment soon, though.

i think it's a very well-established concept that the need to work/make money can get in the way of happiness, even though keeping busy with work can alleviate depression. i'm certainly not the first to think about this.

-- Surmounter, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:12 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

yr not the first to think abt this but it is on a very fundamental level bullshit. which isnt to say you shouldnt take the opportunity to experience things that delight you.

haha why is it bullshit??

please explain!!

true fact: being able to do what you love requires far more effort than work you don't really care about; it's a hard-won privilege

i tend to agree.

Surmounter, I'm saying that the answers you get from people these days as to what they "love" are likely to be some retarded materialistic bullshit.

So "do something you love" is bad advice for someone who loves superficial bullshit. Find meaning and purpose in what you do, look hard for it, and if there ain't any do something else.

Yeah, it ain't about leisure.

it's not about leisure in the sense that even if you're doing something you love, if you're doing it well, it's still hard work.

haha why is it bullshit??

-- Surmounter, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:21 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

please explain!!

-- Surmounter, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:21 AM (51 seconds ago) Bookmark

because discomfort and suffering are an intrinsic aspect of life not something you can escape from. recognizing this is better at happiness than all the toys in the world. then maybe when you encounter one of the things you love you may just love it free from all the concepts of rescue from ickiness.

appologies if this all sounds a bit high minded - just consider it me talking to myself - im sure i could use this advice more than anyone. i dream relentlessly of conquest.

I think it's misleading to think of doing what you love as a momentary rather than long-term activity. There's nothing you can do, no matter how much you love it, that you will love every minute if you are working at it. That doesn't mean it won't make you much happier overall than some other job, though.

but i think everyone on the thread knows this, so sorry for stating the already-stated in a slightly different way....

There are a lot of people in academia studying the science of "happiness" nowadays.

A common theory is that happiness is better described as satisfaction in numerous ares of life, rather than pleasure.

hmmmm... i was eagerly anticipating your response j!! :) i see what you're saying, i suppose.

the bottom line is: i think there are things we have to do, and things we want. and sometimes it's hard fitting them together.

Happiness is easy

Meeting people is easy

ha surmounter you are an absolute sweetheart - in that you already have a huge leg up on most people in the happiness department

maybe you're right :)

wasn't there also some research that how happy you are is related to some base emotional state & fluctuations that vary person to person, like some people are always kind of calm, some bounce wildly from unhappy to ecstatic, and some are just always more or less happy or glum? or is that folk wisdom? (big xpost)

no there's definitely truth in that. temperment has been shown to be genetic, and fluctuation in emotional states is sooo different from one person to the next.

jhoshea OTM on surmounter's good chances for happiness :D :D

somewhat related, i find that making the cognitive shift from "jesus h. christ people are such miserable stupid assholes" to "lol humans sigh" is really good for mental health

wasn't there also some research that how happy you are is related to some base emotional state & fluctuations that vary person to person, like some people are always kind of calm, some bounce wildly from unhappy to ecstatic, and some are just always more or less happy or glum? or is that folk wisdom? (big xpost)

-- Maria, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:38 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

that sounds true to me - but it doesnt mean you cant work with yr basic emotional sate - its just one of those things that requires a little more than getting your favorite ice cream

Oh I think that's definitely true. And also highly affected by the presence of seratonin in the brain.

There was a recent study where subjects were given $10 or so. One gruop was told they had to spend the money on themselves and the other that they had to spend it on someone else. The second group reported feeling much happier.

Seriously, exercise and sunshine.

somewhat related, i find that making the cognitive shift from "jesus h. christ people are such miserable stupid assholes" to "lol humans sigh" is really good for mental health

^^^this

somewhat related, i find that making the cognitive shift from "jesus h. christ people are such miserable stupid assholes" to "lol humans sigh" is really good for mental health

-- elmo argonaut, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:41 AM (47 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

id imagine if you were to isolate one quality that most correlated to general well being itd be somewhere in the empathy/sympathy range

the most magically transformative solution to the initial question, though, has to be falling in love

but YMMV

50mg/day of lexapro

exercise * meditation * work * art * booze * people

all theorizing aside these are the things i try

I've hit the doldrums baby. real dullsville.

I think you should talk like this all the time, wear a black motorcyle jacket and a t-shirt, grease your hair back and roll into Brooklyn this fall on your Indian motorcycle, revving your throttle and looking to bring trouble into Dodge.

xp working in somebody's yard is always three of those. sometimes it's all 6.

xpost and then he can swing on a vine in the jungle with the CGI monkeys

i think 25 is a tough year.

ugh

Anybody says "quarter life crisis" gets a KNUCKLE SANDWICH!

so far 25 has been a blast

do need a new job tho

falling in love is great, but not so great if your beloved doesn't like you, or falls out of love with you, or leaves you -- etc. that will make you much, much worse than all the dullsville vibes referred to above.

Stanton needs to hang out with Nabisco.

Felicity's idea that sunshine is good is probably true, but also probably easier to act upon in LA than where some of us are.

Well, 25 was really tough for me, too. Had worked full time long enough after graduating from college that it felt like UM IS THIS ALL THERE IS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? I don't know if you just get used to it over time or what, but it doesn't bother me anymore.

Yeah, that's why I moved.

:-/ there are about 50 ex threads on the go atm, makin' me feel like my heartthrob is an ex as well in the manner that we were all dead before we were born

25 was way rough.

i like my thirties so far.

Currently going through a similar situation at the moment (and am also 25). Had put myself in a particular mindset after moving back to the US with regards to getting back to the UK and working a job I'll probably not enjoy at all, but enough culturally/friend-wise going on in the evenings and weekends that it was worthwhile. Now two of my friends are preparing to leave to do their PhDs, and I'm oh-so-envious. I don't think I had ever really contemplated doing what I love for a living, but it seems really great from where I'm sitting.

I think heading towards some kind of a goal is important. I'll bet proper exercise would be great tho, so I'm saving up for some running shoes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_return

How's about we start the mildly anhedonic 25-year-old Curiosity and Anti-Electoshock Universalist Extra-Jobular Bitch, Booze and High-Five Complaint Club. It will be useful and therapeutic, and perhaps a bit of mild fub. That is until we all turn 26 and it will start to feel less important.

When me and four of my friends were in that weird between-high-school-and-college-working-listlessly-feeling-pinball-pointless age of 19, we started 'The 19-Year-Olds with Jobs Club,' wherein we hung out in our friends basement and kind of all said, "Yep, we have jobs. And are kind of listless." It was basically nothing but there was a gratifying and amusing bit of helpless unity to the whole thing that provided a needed bit of levity in life. Needless to say I am no longer part of this club as my age has disqualified me.

(NB I am not 25 until 10 days from now but I hope you'll put me on the waiting list.)

someone was just telling me about the saturn stuff!

I wonder where I find the club for still aimless 27 year old college flunk outs...hmm...on second thought I'd probably rather not hang out with those guys...

As sort of an experiment I, by force of will, totally stopped caring about meaning and purpose and my life's direction or trying to enrich my life in any way, also did not let the passing of time make me anxious. It has worked so far.

the steendriver regimen:

Up @ 8

30 mins meditation
20 mins living room exercise (situps, push ups, stretching)
10 min shower

9-1: Write (or try to) from
1-3: Whatever whatever
3-11: Terrible day job that I try to approach mindfully (take great care in actions, thoughts)
11 etc: Go to midnight movie? Meet up w/bros for drinks? Hookah bar?

Do this life for 32 days and you will find yourself steendriven.

ha, i did that for like 7 years, basically. minus the hookah bar and exercising

i'm pretty convinced as this thread goes on that i go about life all wrong.

taking notes...

that is an impressive schedule. i can't even make myself get up for exercise after a full 8 hours' sleep, which would certainly make more sense than what i'm doing now (having "early dinner" around 5, running & showering, and having "late dinner" around 8 or 9). how did you make yourself get up?

I wonder where I find the club for still aimless 27 year old college flunk outs...hmm...on second thought I'd probably rather not hang out with those guys...

-- RabiesAngentleman, Monday, June 2, 2008 12:41 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Don't want to belong to any club that would have you as a member?

I read somewhere once that if you want to become smarter it may be helpful to surround yourself with those smarter than you. Same principal as applied to succeeding in life, I suppose.

how did you make yourself get up?

-- Maria, Monday, June 2, 2008 5:01 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Put the alarm (cell phone) across the room, and make sure I'm in day clothes and doing something (pouring cereal, feeding cats, just something) for the first ten minutes I'm awake. That shakes out the cobwebs pretty well.

i like that 1-3 afternoon time is obv ILX

lol "day clothes"

Put the alarm (cell phone) across the room, and make sure I'm in day clothes and doing something (pouring cereal, feeding cats, just something) for the first ten minutes I'm awake. That shakes out the cobwebs pretty well.

I got the first part right, though I tend to muck about half naked doing nothing and just waiting for the cobwebs to clear...good advice.

hey guys stay strong once u turn 26 life rules again!

26 was kinda shitty, too. 27 was awesome, though.. and so far 28 is great-ish!

my mid twenties were ok, but my late twenties have been pretty terrible. hopefully things will start to turn around at 30.

not gonna lie, 25 has been one of my best so far despite the looming uncertainty of my life's direction

yea actually 25 was awesome 2 imo

at 25 i didn't have a care in the world.

i dont remember

23-27 has been a pretty mixed bag for me, actually, with increased ants in the pants throughout the last couple of years.

It's the putting the alarm across the room that gets me...I do that, but it doesn't make any difference, because no matter where I put it I end up getting up, turning it off, and carrying it back into bed with me to fall asleep.

feeling-pinball-pointless

such a brilliant phrase!

24 isn't treating me at all well: I can't bear the thought that I'll get even more listlessly angry and goalless next year. I feel like all the leftover mood swings of my teenage years have suddenly boomeranged back and stuck to me.

Oh no! Why do they have to be rubber and you have to be glue?

Basically if I had people to hang out with who weren't girls I'm trying to bone life would be pretty much perfect. It's so friggin hard rebuilding your social life after school.

my only two pieces of advice are 1. make a friend of money (do what you have to do to get by, figure out how to get your billz paid, save a little, have some peace) and 2. get out of the house.

yeah, as my dude friends get married, have kids, and/or move away, it is a problem.

I was the witness at my first friend's wedding :[

one solution: hang out with lesbians, they are less likely to have kids and you generally won't try to bone them.

Every week at the beauty shop burt's momma hears
of another woman's made another man disappear.

chill with stoners, slackers and fuck ups, the kind of ppl who couldnt possibly get married in the next couple years. + free access to their xboxes

Basically if I had people to hang out with who weren't girls I'm trying to bone life would be pretty much perfect.

This is a tall order, but maybe you could try finding a girl you want to bone and bro down with? Do any of these women in your life have platonic guy friends they can introduce you to? Funny notion, using sex as a go-between for potential friends rather than using your friends as a go-between for potential lovers.

ilx is on some monkeys-at-the-start-of-2001 shit lately

omg guys actually say bone

who will be the first to kill a leopard

wait wait so i don't understand, all this ennui you're describing is really just you being too horny?? welcome to life

This is a tall order, but maybe you could try finding a girl you want to bone and bro down with?

BONE AND BRO DOWN WITH, wow

BRONE

actual lols at "brone"

bone down with

brown

http://m.assetbar.com/uua5MX23v.gif

hahahahaha

you could also attempt not actually trying to bone some of the girls. you know, have some for friends.

fuckfriends are for broning & tromboning

Life has my number and knows how to reach me.

now i just wanna know what burt looks like

burt follow these 4 steps

1. buy bass
2. play bass in an awesome metal show
3. have hot chick waiting for you in your bed
4. post on ilx

lols

haha, none of this is about sex. It's about finding meaning in a world you didn't make

oh

hence step 4 burt

make your own world and stuff it with a creamy filling of meaning

that's what i'm saying! make friends with the girls! you can discuss finding meaning in a world you didn't make instead of having sex!

..on ilx!

speaking for myself i am glad to know that you are human, burt, and not a robot

or a bonebot

some might mistake me for a lolbot mk 3 but that is not the case

that's what i'm saying! make friends with the girls! you can discuss finding meaning in a world you didn't make instead of having sex!

-- Maria, Monday, June 2, 2008 1:47 PM (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

LOL, that's what I was trying to say...my god what did I start...

I was going through this until recently - re-connecting with a few old friends I like waaaaay better than the people I've been spending time with since. We forgave each other for past transgressions (or ignored them completely) and it's been nice. I guess this wouldn't work if you don't care for the people from your past (where I liked them and didn't like me).

But (for the most part) they're still waitresses/bartenders and don't have to wake up until noon on any given day, so now it's kind of a semi-constant reminder how much I hate starting work at 8am. But I'll survive.

my 20s sucked. the 20s were when i realized i had failed to make all my teenage dreams come true. that sucked. my 30s have been great so far. the 30s are when i made peace with not having any dreams.

i also learned how to focus on enjoyment of the small pleasures in life: a good meal, hanging out on the couch with the cat, the joy of tinkering around with music software instead of dreaming to be in a famous mega-platinum selling metal band... that sort of thing. how i learned to stop worrying about the future and love the present, or something like that. i also fell in love - which does help.

i have a good friend who is eternally miserable and i keep telling him to stop obsessing over his misery and using consumerism to try to put a band-aid on it, and get involved with helping other people out. just try it, i tell him. he probably thinks i'm a huge asshole, but i still think it's good advice.

i haven't given up my dreams, and never intend to, although they have become more modest in scope. e.g. "become world-renowned man of culture & mystery" has been replaced by "learn a sensible trade and run a profitable small business"

How do you rekindle your love affair with life?

meet one fascinating woman, become smitten, enjoy it for the brief period until you go back to hating everything again.

(xpost) Much the same for me, except that the scale of my dreams has stayed the same, it's the structure that's changed. They've gone from "nebulous wish fulfilment daydream revenge fantasies" to solid plans that I have at least half a chance of managing to carry out.

i bounce from extreme fun to extreme :(, its a rollercoaster but i like it way better than some sort of dulled medicated middle ground

me too! same exact

not to exaggerate or anything, im not prone to mood swings or manic depression, just kinda run of the mill cyclic lifestyle

good to know someone else is bouncin with me =)

u know tho, deej, u generally seem kinda perky to me. like up

oh you

Life has my number and knows how to reach me.

-- Dr Morbius, Monday, June 2, 2008 11:40 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

One of the best things every said by anyone, anywhere.

Wait, wait, wait...

I think I've never had a love affair with life. Sorry I am such a prude, life.

This definitely will not work for everyone, but I go to the mountains, put on a backpack and walk away from my car, as far away from roads and people as I can get. Then I keep walking.

Rocks, trees, sky, dirt, creeks, sun, silence and the smell of warm fir needles. They do me a world of good. I always come back invigorated and happy. Then I eat some bacon.

my affair with life has nothing to do with love

my 20s sucked. the 20s were when i realized i had failed to make all my teenage dreams come true. that sucked. my 30s have been great so far. the 30s are when i made peace with not having any dreams.

This, well sort of. As I approach 40 I'm getting less and less worried about all the things I coulda shoulda woulda done, and becoming more comfortable with the here and now, regardless of what I'm doing - as long as I have a roof over my head, a job, someone(s) who love me, and some idle things to keep me happy in my spare time.

My job's dull, I dont earn enough, I may never afford to buy a house, I want to be a songwriter or writer but I just dont got the goods - but I think I'd rather be cool with who I am than angst over what I'm not.

Sometimes I still hate on myself for being crap, but who doesnt.

Those around me who really have pursued awesome dreams - to go back to what Surmounter was saying about work - have only got there by working really fucking hard to get there. Games designer friend - programs his ass off for about 18 hours a day, no joke. Is bored with games industry, even though he makes and plays PS2s and Xboxes for a living. Partner is a musician. He works at it really really hard and just wont give up or second guess himself. I just wish I had that discipline!

I wish I had ANY discipline. Part of me thinks I could make crazy dollars with a little work ethic.

I console myself with the knowledge that most contemporary writers I really like didn't write their Major Books until they were in their early 30s.

I've got a decade to get more good at English.

i know it's like the clock is ticking. when will i prove myself? ::tick tock::

Heh, I had a crisis when I turned 30 in that regard. OMG I AM 30 AND SINGLE AND HAVE NO HOUSE AND MY JOB SUX AND I HAVNT DONE ANYTHING AWESOME AAAAAAA.

Somehow, the panic passes!