Who on ILX would you like to fist fight?

not me i hope

I am so insanely bad at fist fighting.

Ned and I could have a funny pretend slap fight.

Happy birthday, Abbott. Your vaginas are awesome.

no one! i've never been in a fight and would either back out or get my ass handed to me.

i wholly endorse funny pretend slap fights though

I have never thrown a punch in my life, and only been punched once, in a weird act of random middle school violence. That hurt. I vowed right then to avoid that for the rest of my life, at most any cost.

sasha to thread

I intercepted a punch from 3-yr-old Cyrus to 5-yr-old Rufus and it got me on the arm and there was wallop in it. It hurt.

I'll take all of you on, who wants some?

j/k

i'll fight you

let's go!

I have been thinking lately that it's kind of awesome that it's sort of normal-ish for boys to get in fights and realize they aren't fragile and can be punched. Apparently in boxing the first reflex to get over is the flinching and closing of the eyes as a punch approaches? I think that would be a useful sort of thing to know you can handle.

Also I'm going on a trip Saturday to an away soccer game at which the away fans have been known to get lynched in the parking lot. Probably nothing will happen but y'know, what if? I don't want to have to be protected unduly.

easy there, durden.

I just had to google that to get it. Movies, feh.

dom passantino
and what

nothing personal, just want to see what those toughies got

uh, lynched?

xxpost I'm flattered you cared enough to google. :)

Sorry okay I should say "jumped".

are you going to dc or boston?

F the DC scum

Hee. DC.

i know one of the united crew guys -- do you need a safe word?

I have been punched once by an evil ex. I have never punched anyone and honestly don't think there's anyone on ILX I'd want to fight!

One of my older brothers tried to teach me to fistfight way back when. I was always getting into fights - big girl, crazy house, kids being all mean and stuff. I was FORCED to fight.

So I might still be a contender.
Therefore, Deeznuts, I think we will have to meet in the ring.

xpost I might seriously consider punching the guy who punched you. Gut reaction. I'd be pathetic at it, though. :(

I have been thinking lately that it's kind of awesome that it's sort of normal-ish for boys to get in fights and realize they aren't fragile and can be punched.

Yeah. I kind of miss just being able to have throwdowns with my siblings when we were mad, rather than beat around the bush about things. Of course, getting hit by a grown-up, even when you too are a grown-up, is another story. Esp. considering both of my brothers are practically chiseled from stone.

ENBB that's terrible. I will perform random act of clothesline on him.

wtf aim i thought we were on the same team

rather than beat around the bush about things

You have sisters, I take it.

Yeah, the unevenness of the physical body-mass advantage is kind of the problem. We didn't have throw-downs, it was severely discouraged.

Awwwwwwww. Thanks guys - he'd deserve it!

Silly kenan, girls don't have family jewels!

Pfft. The value of the so-called "jewels" is just culturally normative baloney. You know, diamonds aren't rare.

let's get back to fighting ilx0rs plz!

Oh deezie it's a compliment! Who would you LIKE to fist fight!

I only fistfight people I like now that I'm a grown up.

also hey has anyone become unreasonably physically protective of yr pregnant bros? this has happened to me and it's kind of weird

OK between abbie punching her brothers in the bush and mookie having pregnant brothers, this thread is really starting to make me feel strange.

I would not mind, if pregnant, everyone was extra protective of me, to the point where they decided it would be best if I just ate watermelons by a pool all day every day.

Actually I would not mind that in my current no-babby state.

I think I would get in a fist fight w/Tape Store bcz...why not.

mmmm watermelon

Tape Store would win! Tho it would not make up for the Jordin jiltage.

my kids like to try out "moves" - karate things seen on TV

btw Maria I love your sons' names.

Silly kenan, girls don't have family jewels!

The Indiscreet Jewels (French: Les bijoux indiscrets) is the first novel by Denis Diderot, published anonymously in 1748. It is an allegory that portrays Louis XV as the sultan Mangogul of the Congo who owns a magic ring that makes women's genitals ("jewels") talk.

Well this sounds far more of a lark than 'The Magic Flute."

Wallobijouxindiscrets

What... oh I really cringe to ask this, but I have to... what do they say?

Thanks ENBB. The sounds are so close together that even I call them by the wrong name all the time.

I would throw down with Abbott, totally. But not on her birthday, and not before her wedding day.

it's that whole sibling vibe, where so much pent up stuff gets translated into tiny, furious brawls just out of sight of any authority figure. (parents, or passerby.)
One of my brothers used to punch my arm over and over again just to watch it bruise. And y'know what? I would beg to play wiffle ball with him the next day.

Three older brothers = tougher little sister.

I do not have siblings therefore I'm a wuss. You could probably all take me down pretty easily.

<3

i will throw against any of you. danm is a big motherfucker and if he decided not to take mercy on me he would tear me afuckingpart.

What... oh I really cringe to ask this, but I have to... what do they say?

Uh, well, they seem to have a will independent from the rest of the woman, so often whatever their asked (usually what have you been up to? was it any good) and sometimes just babbling or, during the opera, singing. It's a satire of police surveillance and royal power. It's partially based on this.

The punching brother has three kids and is an amazing dad! Someday I will tell those kids ALL about him.

ENBB - you are far from being a wuss. Getting hit by someone is bad, harsh, and a crime. I have been down that path too.

Howevah - I do like thinking about a sort of pro wrestling ilx smackdown.

I bet somebody would want to challenge Tombot to a scuffle.

But not now, going to sleep

tombot ain't that big but he's intense

and also a bro, frankly

I hope deezie has forgiven me! We have an entire t-shirt company to run and all.

I will take any of you on but first I will coat myself in my own feces.

That's kinda extreme, libcrypt. Winning isn't everything.

I'd imagine people who would severely beat your ass would do so doubly for your efforts to be clever. They were going to have to wash the blood off anyway -- a little feces doesn't wash off any different.

I mean, they might bitch about it, but they would not forget to beat your ass.

yeah, i'd put up with some shit to beat kenan's ass

uh huh.

so to speak

DOMINGO DOMINGO DOMINGO

CACA

sabado gigante?

libcrypt is no longer on my list.

I would throw down with all the Ask A Drunkers. That's an easy win, because they disdain fisticuffs.

(also I am banned from AAD.)

Hey, it seemed to work for GG Allin, and he was nobody's idea of a tough guy.

i heard he killed some people?

Yeah, he killed one GG Allin.

Mind you, in a really boring way. He went out like Charlie Ondras

OK now I wanna fist fight libcrypt.

Wait, fist fighting? I thought this was about pillow fighting. Count me out!

Hey, it seemed to work for GG Allin

this is pretty much the most piss-poor justification for anything you could ever think to do.

Besides, you seem kinda smart and normal and stuff. You covered in feces would seem smirky and over-defensive and not really aware of the situation at hand. GG Allin covered in feces isn't too far away from just plain ol' GG Allin.

New meaning to the phrase "he's not worth it"

Libcrypt:
it's a FAFF.
We'll end up bff's just after the smackdown!

Hm. Urban Dictionary ain't much help on that one. You don't own a Toyota Celica, do you?

Not at the moment.

Fancy A Fist Fight.

I don't REALLY want to fight anyone. But I would, if it was neccesary.

I had a couple fights when I was a young man. Got my ass kicked in both of 'em. The thing that I didn't really expect to happen is how everything went in super slow motion, and how it felt that I was trying to punch thru water. I.e., everything was super slow but I was even slower. I wised up about taunting drunk bullies after that.

That sounds like all time I've been in a car wreck, only I wasn't trying to punch anything.

It's weird that I can remember being forced to fight because I was the bigger/smarter/weirder girl in elementary school.
It just seemed to be normal - I have to fight Timmy Moran because everyone hates me because I read chapter books.

I got used to it! The day that I fought Billy Moran , Timmys big brother, was awesome. I fought like a girl.

Hair pulling and biting.

sabado gigante otm

that show always has the sweetest babes

god i can think of a few of you i'd like to knock the fuck out

oh oops, wrong *forum*

banriquit

but then, I already have

^^^?

pics or it didn't happen

wasn't really a fist fight

http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper410/stills/zif6v7g5.jpg

"tell my wife she's full of shit and she knows it"

I don't really wanna fight anyone but I DO wanna see Dr.C take on the best of the rest. Apparently he's the best at every other sporting discipline, and hey he's threatened violence before... :D

They'd have to say something nasty about Etron Fou Leloubian first.

Etron Fou LOLoubian more like... did ya hear that Dr C?

i've never been in a real fight either, so i'd probably prefer to fight one of my friends, like as an experiment, because then we could call it off if things got out of hand

My brother and I fought like vicious dogs on at least a daily basis growing up. I haven't been in a fight since I was 12 or 13 and in a way I miss it. Sort of in the same way I miss being in wrestling as a kid.

no one.

(Charity boxing matches -- that's another story)

Last time I was nearly in a fight was about a week after a riot in town here, and a few friends and I walked to the nearest gas station to get newspapers headlining the whole thing. On the way back passing a bar we were called "gay faggots" because we had long sleeves on in 70 degree weather (it was 40). I yelled something back at them (STUPID) and they immediately tailed us, hassling us and trying to provoke us the entire way. Our friend's older and more violent meth head brother lived half a block away and we ducked into his place. They followed, banged on the door, yelled "your brother's a gay" and so on. The older brother said "grab somethin!". I looked around and there were (WTF) lead pipes, crowbars and tire irons just strewn about the apartment. We chased 'em into the streets, heads and pets and car tires were being threatened when one of them walks up real casual like.
"What's goin on?", fake puzzled.
"Um, you threatened to kill my brother and my dog you fucking asshole!"
"What? No! No! That wasn't me, it was my brother. We're twins."
"Wearing the same hat and clothes."
"Yeah we do that when we go out, it's a twin thing!"

the only street fight i had was with a load of kids trying to nick my bike, luckily i held my own and gave the tallest kid a ruddy good punch in the face. I don't think any of them were ilxors though.

ilx gang - "Hey, are u Ste?"
me - "yeah...."
ilx gang - "GET HIM!!!!....."

I'm afraid to fight my brother now, he's got a bitchin cop neck these days. Once my dad dropped by his place while he happened to be having a party. (Witness) Some kid was starting fights and breaking things so my brother just picked him up, walked him through a glass sliding door (he was drunk and didn't know it was closed) and held him over the balcony shouting "Are you gonna leave! Are you gonna leave!" while the guy literally cried saying "yes yes, yes!". I heard this story and was like O_O!!!!!!

your brother sounds like a dick

And not the guy punching his friends?

I have a book by a woman who joined a boxing gym and won a title and then wrote about it. She said getting punched in the ring is a surprise, and yeah, it hurts, but after a couple of seconds you realize, "Hey, it's okay, I'm still here. And I have a wicked hook." and you get on with it. I'm interested in that watershed, primarily.

That is not the same as a drunken beat-down where people gang up and kick you, obviously.

I'm surprised it hasn't happend to me, I keep hearing stories about people I know personally getting mugged in my neighborhood. One guy wound up in the hospital after getting thoroughly womped with what the doctors said had to be something along the lines of a pipe. Scariest moment in my life was when a guy rolled up on me with an aluminum bat and asked if I had weed in my backpack. I nervously said no and he trotted off merrily o_O

Man, I'm in full-on Tell-ILE-A-Story mode.

So did he skip away with a song in his heart?

More like slinked off with his dirtstache glistening in the moonlight or some such thing. Which seems all bubblegum and snocones when moments before you were praying to a non-existent god that at least your spine makes it out okay.

his dirtstache glistening in the moonlight

I have a Thin Lizzy remake idea for you.

As for fear, you're not to be blamed. I promise not to bring a bat to Terrastock.

You can bring a bat, just don't come showing it to me in an alley at 2:00 am ;-)

TOMBOT punched me and it hurt quite a bit, so no, you don't wanna fight him. He is indeed a bro so you shouldn't want to anyway.

I would like to set Tombot on my enemies. Walk softly and carry a big Tombot, as they say.

I had a couple fights when I was a young man. Got my ass kicked in both of 'em. The thing that I didn't really expect to happen is how everything went in super slow motion, and how it felt that I was trying to punch thru water. I.e., everything was super slow but I was even slower. I wised up about taunting drunk bullies after that.

-- libcrypt,

i have become an absolute master of the misdirection because of situations like this

-hey buddy, you having a good time talking to my girlfriend?
-not as much fun as, uh, that person on tv! look!

then i run away

i wd like to see autumn almanac take on tombot

& am surprised jon and i never, at any point, threw down.

jon is such a rugged, manly man

You were too passive aggressive and ended up just complaining to your friends (sometimes for YEARS) if you have a problem with someone.

xpost, I think my high school fighting was limited to punching a gay who mocked me.

I hope deezie has forgiven me! We have an entire t-shirt company to run and all.

-- aimurchie

you are forgiven! money beats everything

I lied: gabbneb and I will be recreating the fight from Tom Brown's School Days behind the stage at the Isaac Hayes show tonight. No brass knuckles allowed.

Ned. I'd fite Ned Raggett.

it'll take more than that to get my SY tix, dude

I have wrastled Morbius.

"Women In Love" style?

that was the first thing that popped into my head as well.

And I wish it hadn't

yer all SICK. He wantonly attacked me.

I got SY tix too, 'nerd! How bout before the fireworks, then?

morbs, i do not share your interests in physical violence or purportedly funky scientologists

http://z.about.com/h/gp/sbinfocanada.gif

purportedly funky scientologists

Chick Corea?

fuck! forgot to get sonic youth tix

I broke fingers (one finger above the bottom knuckle, one below the knuckle) in a fist fight with my brother when we were about ten. I had my fist bandaged up so my left arm looked like a cotton bud. Kudos at school the next week. I haven't had a real fight since then, but based on my skills as a ten year old, I think I could take any of you mother fuckers.

xp: try it. they put up the res system 25 mins ago.

(or just mug gabbneb)

i'm more of a kicker than a fist fighter really

better that than a guerilla ass-biter

I tried to punch my brother in the gut once, he turned and I broke my finger punching his hip. He sucks. Having a "boxer's fracture" was kinda cool though.

j0n is a kicker too, rrobyn -- go for it

i'm more of a kicker than a fist fighter really

Like "The Zohan"! Don't mess with the Zohan.

kickfight!

how i would fight rrrobyn:

http://www.gameguru.in/images/joust-1.jpg

or

http://cache.kotaku.com/assets/resources/2007/06/motherfuckinballoonfight.jpg

Joust is so awesome.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GTeOgqK5iHw

i fight dirty and mean.

i used to play arcade joust when i was a teenager b/c a friend of the family had it in his house!

TOMBOT punched me and it hurt quite a bit, so no, you don't wanna fight him. He is indeed a bro so you shouldn't want to anyway.

I still feel terrible about this. And RJG. I don't do that sort of thing anymore.

Balloon Fight O.T.M.

"Fighting" as means of conflict resolution sucks. As a means of excercise and recreation it is excellent indeed. You need the right rules, protective gear, setting, and probably a ref for this to work properly, though.

Start with something easy and gentle, like taijiquan push-hands. If you want to work your way up, there are many baby steps before you reach UFC levels of headsmashing.

I got picked on for a month or three in junior high and then wigged out when some dude spat on me so I knocked him off the bleachers and whaled on his face for awhile then sat down. That led to constant fights up to sophomore year in high school. Long pause since then. But I'll fight if you wanna; I've gotten much less skinny.