Liverpool won't be on dis ting 2008/09

Sylvian Disting

Charity shield on Sunday, Him staying at Man U, Villa swoop for big-faced Boro fullback and craggy, Andy Rourke looking Reading fullback in time to mount charge for 8th, Man City probably don't actually have any £££, Joey Barton possibly not gracing yr screen anytime too soon -

FOOTBALL

Sylvan Distin was not on "Dis Ting" when he was told by a police officer that he would have to cancel his holiday to testify at Joey Barton's assault trial, and responded by bursting out laughing

Q: WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO SIGN FOR STOKE WHEN THERE WERE OTHER CLUBS INTERESTED IN YOU?

A: It was no secret that other clubs were in for me. But it would have been hugely disrespectful to Reading for me to leave there and then sit on the bench somewhere all next season. I've come to a team that have told me I will get 38 games of Premier League football.

Q: SO THE CHANCE OF REGULAR FIRST TEAM WAS A MAJOR FACTOR IN YOUR DECISION?

A: I came here to Stoke and Tony (Pulis) made it clear I was his number one target and he was going to do everything he could to get me. I want to play 38 games and I believe I can do that here at Stoke.

Q: HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU THAT YOU WILL SCORE GOALS AT CITY?

A: If I get the service I can score goals but I've never set myself targets in my life before a season. If you can get one in two (games) you are on the level and so far in my career it has been there or there abouts. Goalscoring is something I have and if you're lucky enough to have it, you revel in it. I love being a striker. There's nothing better than putting the ball in the net. Aside from the joy in the stands, it gives you an amazing buzz.

Q: WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE STOKE'S CHANCES OF STAYING UP?

A: It's going to be hard, very difficult, but as a newly-promoted team what you do have in your locker is the fact you're an unknown quantity and you have to utilise that and play to your strengths. We can't get near Manchester United in terms of spending, but how much do they know about us?

Q: WHAT WOULD YOUR ADVICE BE TO THOSE STOKE PLAYERS WHO HAVE NEVER PLAYED IN THE PREMIERSHIP BEFORE?

A: Don't be intimidated, there's nothing to be frightened of because you're just playing against 11 different people that you haven't played before. They're still just people. If you go out there and you are in awe, then you'll get turned over. We have to use being an unknown quantity to our advantage. It's there for the taking, we just have to grasp it.

Q: I SUPPOSE YOU WILL WANT STOKE TO MAKE A SIMILAR IMPACT TO THE ONE READING MADE IN THEIR FIRST SEASON IN THE TOP FLIGHT?

A: None of us at Reading had any experience when we went up and we finished eighth simply because nobody there had any money or reputation, so the only thing we could do was work hard for each other and do the best we could, which we did. It may have raised an eyebrow amongst some that I came to Stoke, who are a club like Reading when they came up, but I want to play in the Premier League.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7546968.stm

Everton FC's favourite Young Conservative lookalike referee suspended over debts

Tottenham run the risk of becoming a feeder club if they grant Dimitar Berbatov his dream move to Manchester United.

That is the verdict of Spurs legend Chris Waddle, who is appalled by the behaviour of the Bulgarian striker for wanting a transfer two years into a four-year contract.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article1525302.ece

This could be our last season without QPR, so let's make the best of it

What have you done!?!?!?!? Have you no sense of tradition? This thread has had the same name every season since 1908.

Ferg's the Leigh Genesis of ILX threads.

If a joke's worth making once, it's worth making a thousand times.

(xpost)

perhaps changing the other thread to "hartlepool won't win the premiership" or something will appease the old timers.

http://lighthousepatriotjournal.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/change-obama.jpg

I am the Richard Scudamore of ILX

can I just say it here then: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HULL

Lou1s Jagger, ladies and gentlemen

I'll be the Danny Baker of the 08/09 Premiership thread.

I'll be the Hylda Baker of the 08/09 Premiership thread.

http://bp1.blogger.com/_YvDCrB8xy-s/R_Ip4Q3MQ2I/AAAAAAAAAlc/hj9jQBDxm9I/s320/barack-obama-bw.png

the audacity of lolz: thoughts on reclaiming the ilx dream

I don't believe in this change. what is 'Dis Ting' supposed to signify? Do any of you pampered wired-up white boys actually talk like that? I think this thread should be boycotted.

lol at black people

Pinefox is the Graham Taylor of ILX

http://www.cwn.org.uk/skyblues/empics/managers/emp-ron-atkinson-458719-400x300.jpg

http://www.myperspectiva.com/login/wp-content/image-uploads/2006/09/DPsmall.jpg

"Siss-ocko hacking away like a savage there alongside the more cultured Gerrard and Alonso"

Pleat looks like a real boozebag there

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y148/Juror8/logobama.jpg

YES WE CAN

jimmybullardfistbump.jpg

I think Graham Taylor is OK, and that his reputation has somewhat recovered in some ways.

I don't think it makes you progressive on ethnic issues or race relations to think it's funny to write 'Dis Ting' on the internet, especially when you're a comfortable, technologically advantaged white man who spends his time coming up with snide things to say about the British media.

Most of us are boozebags, by this point.

pinefox i think you might need lessons in context

http://www4.ncsu.edu/~kacollin/images/HeadInHands.jpg

xp

OK, go ahead - what's the first lesson?

the first lesson is that you google "Ashley-Paul Robinson"

note that the quotation marks are necessary lest you wind up with an england match report circa 2004-2007

the second lesson is that the premiership thread-title is not attempting to make britain a better place

hi, pinefox

"Liverpool won't be on dis ting" was a humorous allusion by r/t/c to an intemperate Facebook status update made by the Crystal Palace player Ashley-Paul Robinson regarding a possible transfer to Fulham; this caught the football thread posters' imaginations for a while, and the thread title was felt to be a good way of giving a nod to that while providing a slightly more modern twist on the traditional Liverpool-baiting Premiership thread title. I don't think it's such a big issue really, and it was certainly not intended as any kind of badge of racial progressiveness.

All joking aside, Graham Taylor is a good man.

Most of us are boozebags, by this point.

Maybe, but I don't look like David Pleat... yet

http://www.thewe.cc/thewei/_/images11/us_terror_state/obama_clinton.jpe

yeah you may need to buy some regaine before that prospect becomes feasible xpost

Thanks for your helpfully informative post, MPx4A.

What does 'Liverpool won't be on Dis Ting' actually mean? Liverpool won't be in the Premiership? Liverpool won't be mentioned on the thread? It doesn't seem a very suggestive statement to me.

Personally I probably look worse than David Pleat, by this point.

http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=4670678808

number one google result for "on dis ting", which contains a disgracefully inflammatory anti-American image

S.V.M
CAW U BOIIS THINK YOUR LYKE TONI MONTANNA AND TING BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYY

I think in this context it implies that Liverpool will not be taking their opportunity to win the Premier League in 2008

Dom's gonna turn the "Street Disciplez" logo into an ILX meme, I can feel it comin'

pretty sure hating America is already a thing round here son

the link: I don't get it. And I don't like the look of that page or the culture that it seems to represent.

Why do you people find this kind of talk (as in the capitalized post above) so hilarious?

And I don't like the look of that page or the culture that it seems to represent.

THINGS GONNA TURN NASTY

Roger Adultrey RIP

i think why PWUWBs find this kind of pronunciation funny (enough to meme-up) is worth exploring

probably not on a thread intended for premier league banter tho

I blame these thread titles everyrime Liverpool finish the inevitable 4th.

That opening image is a real doozy.

it's not a meme it's a thread title talk about football

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7546968.stm
Clattenburg suspended, for being in deep financial trouble (and therefore, presumably, susceptible to bribes). It's a crying shame that this could happen to the man who set new standards for refereeing in last year's Everton v Liverpool match.

What do we all make of the FA's new "Respect" program? I think it'll be good if the referees are strong enough to implement it, but...

Bobby Robson...

: (

What? Kindly replace the emoticon with words.

He's gonna be confusing blacks with each other in heaven soon.

Aw.

"He calls me Carl Cort!"

:D

Five different types of cancer, that's a bitch.

Though considering The Sun have now removed the story from their website, is what they reported he said actually true?

http://www.goal.com/en/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=808278

this is like 15 hours old, seemed to have not been reported much elsewhere though?

Community Shield reportedly goalless and terrible, Mark Hughes reportedly in massive rage over Corluka/Ireland being sold from under him and threatening to leave if Corluka goes to Spurs, even though Spurs already claim to have his registration

Thaksin's wife sent dahhhn, pending appeal

It had one of the worst decisions ever when tevez had a rugby tackle on him in the box and the ref didn't give it.

what a bunch of shit penalties

http://davidworthington.wordpress.com/2008/08/10/premier-league-predictions-0809/

This guy's football opinions are as spot on as his political ones.

how it won't finish:

Man Utd
Liverpool
Arsenal
Chelsea
Tottenham
Portsmouth
Aston Villa
Everton
Newcastle
Man City
West Ham
Wigan
Sunderland
West Brom
Middlesbrough
Fulham
Hull
Blackburn
Bolton
Stoke

Yeah I'll do this too, why the eff not.

Man Utd
Arsenal
Liverpool
Chelsea
Everton
Tottenham
Portsmouth
Man City
Aston Villa
West Ham
Newcastle
Middlesbrough
Wigan
Blackburn
Sunderland
West Brom
Hull City
Bolton
Fulham
Stoke

Chelsea
Man United
Arsenal
Liverpool
Aston Villa
Everton
Tottenham
Man City
West Ham
Portsmouth
Newcastle
Sunderland
Blackburn
Fulham
Middlesborough
West Bromwich
Wigan
Bolton
Stoke
Hull

Mine.

Arsenal
Man Utd
Liverpool
Chelsea
Aston Villa
Tottenham
Portsmouth
Man City
Everton
Blackburn
West Ham
Newcastle
Middlesbrough
Sunderland
Bolton
West Brom
Wigan
Hull City
Fulham
Stoke

I'm ILX's token gooner alright?

Man United
Chelsea
Arsenal
Liverpool
Tottenham
Aston Villa
Everton
Portsmouth
Newcastle
Man City
Middlesborough
West Ham
Fulham
Wigan
Sunderland
West Bromwich
Blackburn
Hull
Bolton
Stoke

Chelsea
Arsenal
Man Utd
Liverpool
Everton
Tottenham
Portsmouth
Man City
Aston Villa
Wigan
Middlesbrough
Blackburn
Newcastle
West Ham
Fulham
Sunderland
West Brom
Stoke
Bolton
Hull

actually, actually, actually. fuck it. swap chelsea... for liverpool. I AM CALLING IT, RING A DING DING.

Liverpool will amaze all with their 4-1-5 formation

my top 3 will be split by just one point with Chelsea only a 3 or 4 below that

Fantasy football first XI breakdown:

3x Chelsea
2 x Everton
2 x West Ham
1 x Arsenal
1 x Bolton
1 x Middlesborough
1 x Liverpool

I'm sure we've all seen this alleged post from a Man City employee on whatever football boards we visit, but if not...

"I'm sorry to say this, as a life long fan and - for the last few (for me at least) unforgettable months - employee, MCFC as we know it is finished. Here are the FACTS, for those who really want to know. Thaksin is, as of midlnight 10th August, 2008, an international fugitive. He now has to be found guilty of corruption in Thailand in his absense, offering no defence. Extradition requests will surely follow. The PL will then have to find him short of the fit and proper ownership rules (and believe me, the pressure for that from fellow 'members' has been growing since June). Thaksin is trying to palm off City onto whoever will now take it, an insolvent mess of a business, completely incapable of sustaining itself. The truth is that the only interested party (until recently) - Wardle - is not now able to bail City out now , he cant come close on his own and no partners have been found. The wage bioll and committments due on the last 2 years' transfers have spiralled out of control. The Corluka affair is the last straw - I personally worked on the deal and can assure anyone interested that he has already been transferred to Spurs. Spurs have this evening started legal action, and he will be barred from playing for City following an injunction in the courts tomorrow. Personally I expect Hughes to then resign on principal (he has no choice now, he is on record as saying that he wilol have final say on all transfers). Many wont believe any of this, but a few will. I am very close to this situation (readers will never know who I am or how close - a few would know my name but it isnt appropriate to for me to come 'out') - trust me, I am close enough to know what has happeneded in the last fortnight, I am p*ssed off with it (as a fan, and as someone who has worked hard for the club durinig the ast 18 months or so) and it must be said, a little drunk. I am posting this message on a few sites - apologies for those that keep reading it, but I want City fans to know what is happening. The sad truth is we are finished, and that as a result, the PL will be facing its biggest challenge since inception within 2 weeks of now."

Respect to City - they were always going to take the bonkers billionaire overseas psycho owner thing the furthest. If only Newcastle had taken the same journey - then we'd have really seen something.

This Corluka thing is a real headache for my 'no-Spurs' Fantasy Football rule. Is he or isn't he?

1. Chelsea
2. Man Utd
3. Arsenal
4. Liverpool
5. Tottenham
6. Portsmouth
7. Aston Villa
8. Everton
9. Newcastle
10. Blackburn
11. Wigan
12. West Ham
13. Sunderland
14. Man City
15. Fulham
16. Middlesborough
17. WBA
18. Bolton
19. Hull
20. Stoke

Arsenal (securing title with an XI made up entirely of people younger than me, leading to me constructing a voodoo doll of Jack Wilshere and repeatedly yelling things that I learned in A-Level history at it in attempt to make myself feel better)
Chelsea
ManYoo
Liverpuddle
Villa
Spurs
Them
Everton
Citeh
West Brom
Newcastle
Sunnerlunn
Wigan
West Aaaam
Fulham
Blackburn
Dean Windass
Boro (top of the league at the start of October, then it is discovered that Alves is in fact a cyborg reproduction of the original player, who is somehow playing at right-back for AEK Athens and is completely unaware of the existence of a Middlesbrough. And then Brad Jones ships seven against Wigan)
Gary Megson's Disco Pants
Stoke

I do like that authentic Brooking 'West Aaaam', WBS.

I was going more for Kriss Akabusi, to be honest.

Cuellar vows to stay at Ibrox

"I want to stay here for many years. I like the feeling I have with the supporters and that's very important," Cuellar told the Daily Record.

"I'm very proud to have this support and it encourages me to go out and play for them.

"I've never experienced such warmth in my career before and it's very special.

'I'm very happy at Rangers and the supporters are one of the reasons. The club is fantastic and each year we have the chance to play in the Champions League.

"Last season was my best as a professional player but I hope this season will be even better."
-------------------------------
One Champions League exit later
-------------------------------
Villa agree £7.8m fee for Cuellar

£7.8m? Seriously?

That's £7.8m because, for some reason, the first report I read had the fee in euros. As in 10 million of them, the amount that it took to invoke a get-out clause when he signed. Presume Osasuna getting a kickback via a sell-on clause as well...

MON's spunking his reputation as a miser up the wall in the past week, next thing he'll be putting in a bid for Roque XIX that isn't an insult

I mean, presumably this hulking fellow from the Eurodisney league has no chance of displacing Zat Knight as our third choice centre back any time soon

Was going to post this on the SPL thread after I'd stopped laughing at them keeping him non-cup-tied, going out of Europe, having to sell him, then realising they could have played him and stayed in Europe since he's not going anywhere near Europe anyway.

Martin O'Neill still bringing the good times to Celtic anyway :-)

I wonder why the Rangers board insisted he wouldn't be sold when he had an escape clause in his contract meaning it was out of their control.

Osasuna will be getting a nice wee sell-on chunk of that fee.

Martin O'Neill still bringing the good times to Celtic

By giving Rangers an inflated fee for a defender and helping dig them out of a financial hole?

Ach, that's going to get spunked away on debt management and leave them a decent player short. Don't tell me you weren't pleased to see the back of Alan Mutton...

nb the Birmingham Astonvillas are a routine tonking of FH Hafnarfjordur away from being in the promised land of Euro Vase Proper

Oh, OK. Glamour beckons for Ugly Betty! I have been mostly ignoring the Intertoto (except forvHibs-related roffling) and had forgotted that Aston Villa were doing Europe the long way round this year.

Hutton was a threat and I was glad to see him leave - if only for Aiden's ankles. I've never rated Cuellar that highly. If you look at the arse end of last season when they threw away just about everything both he and Davie Weir were looking very suspect.

£7.8M is great money for a guy I don't think is much better than, say, Gary Caldwell.

I suppose we've all been ignoring the Intertoto, really

and now it is going away

rip

They sold Hutton and the extent of improvement was to sign David Weir and Christian Dailly on extended contracts (combined age approx 140) and borrow Amdy Faye in order to shove Broadfoot out wide right where he was rubbish. Once they've given off a chunk to Osasuna, there won't be enough to buy someone of the calibre of Gary Caldwell, it'll go in Murray's pocket before he fucks off, or on this year's equivalent of Ugo Ehiogu, and they'll still have a worse defence than they did last year.

Heaven needed FC 1907 Hebaraan beating Metallurgy Vostovoskivosk after extra time.

xp

Point is, the money's going into a black hole. They are losing players, and replacing them with worse ones. We're turning down higher bids for players, which is a better position than having to take the first bid that triggers a get-out clause because that's the only chance you have of getting money. If they spend that as effectively as the other signings of the summer, I won't be sweating it quite yet.

there won't be enough to buy someone of the calibre of Gary Caldwell

Note to casual viewers and those who don't read the Scottish football thread: I am not kidding on this. I heart Gary Caldwell.

Are you saying that Celtic are now effectively the Scottish Lyon?

heaven needed a bunch of dudes doing flute celebrations

I must say I quite welcome this thread's detour into Gestures Of Celtic's Might 2008/9, it can't be lol man city all the time

Rangers shooting selves in foot = funny on any thread, tbh. You can go back to discussing Cuellar's potential impact on the Villa bench now if you like.

Man City message boards are a treat at the moment, that's for sure.

is it actually true that they're finished then?

borrow Amdy Faye

this cannot be stressed enough

I hope that Man City don't prove the excellent blogger linked above wrong by failing to challenge the top four this year

Dom, links pls

I am a yank who has been following the team for 8 years now. I wear my kit every game day, and ill be dam^ed if i stop following no matter what the consequences. Go blues.

Has done everything he possibly can to wake the sleeping giant that is Man City. He brought the club, and produced a top half team. He's tried everything to get his money unfrozen, but in the end he was fighting a losing battle. If your country were dead against you, and your wife had just been sentenced to jail, what would u do?

I would have done exactly the same as he's done. Now he's in the UK, and when he seeks political asylum, he can fully concentrate on City. Thaksin Wouldnt sell the club, because keeping City will make sure that he's in the news, in Thailand. Im not saying that i want him as City Chairman, but iv read articles, that say "Thaksin leave our club alone". What more could he have done.

Even if he eventually sells the club, or gets thrown of because he is convicted in thailand, this man took the effort and the time to buy the club, and shared the same vision we do.

so anyone who is providing negitive views on him, i have one thing to say .. "Leave Our Thaksin Alone!" well atleast until he comes out with what the hell is going on!

At least Barton had the spine to take his punishment like a man...

I'm 100% behind Frank and I hope he can find some way out of his current difficulties, He was never going to find justice in Thailand, he has walked away from £800,000,000, some fine by any standards! Leave the guy in peace, let him pick up the pieces of his shattered dreams and hopefully continue his dream of making Man City a force in Europe and the premier league.

how do u feel about the spuds selling there best player in keane and now about to sell berbatov to manure. i though big clubs didnt sell there best players. top 4 this season. usual failed expectations?

sorry didn't know this was a grammer board.and know but your fans every season claim you will break the top four and you never do but to be fair to you lot the food poisoning was a joke. you probably would of broke the top four if it wasn't for that

^^^ reminds me of:

Vibe: “Plies is an interesting name for a rapper, how did you get that nickname?”

Plies: “Plies is a tool, You can use it to put the squeeze on things, like I’m doing to these niggas in the rap game. I got the squeeze on them real tight, they feeling the pressure, or you can use it to pull things out. I pull out all the bullshit and keep the real you feel me?

It also a word you can use in terms of things goin’ on in yo life, ya dig. You may hear something I say and say that it plies to me.”

Vibe: “I’ve heard of a tool called a Pliers and the term applies.”

Plies: “You know what I’m trying to say my nigga, just buy my album, I’m from the South my nigga, we don’t learn no grammer. My Album out August 7, 2007, cop three copies each, it’s Christmas in July fo’ real, ya dig?” —

Why couldn't they get a nice American tycoon owner?

I think Frank's done a good job. Without him we'd be watching Championship football now.

Let's cut him some slack, he's deep in the brown stuff right now.

abba are back in the charts and us city fan dont know whats going on at the club we love we have got a chairman making promise's he cant keep buying players the manager didnt want and trying to sell players behind his back this time last year i was wondering where we would be playing this year rome or paris this year im praying its not burnley blackpool so im asking dr T dont take us back to the dark days of the 80s please

all rags think football wasnt played b4 1992 coz all u get is we won the prem this we won the prem that some bad news all it is div 1 with a new name

Does anyone know how long and how many times George Best was in prison. Sorry for all the questions but I'm writing a book called 'A Rags Guide To Taking The Moral High Ground'. A Spuds version will be coming out later in the year.

^^^this is my favourite so far. Man City fan OTM, Shinawatra's crimes are nothing compared to pissed George Best falling over his car door.

crimes against the liver

best wanted in NI for slaughter of himself

Original Axis of Evil consisted of Cuba, Iran, and the Dog and Duck pun on Belfast's Gilvanney Road

alex higgins currently pending trial

Whether or not the mystery poster is talking shit, it seems obvious (and has done for a while) that things are gonna get worse at Man City before they get better, which makes me wonder what the fuck Mark Hughes ("the most exciting young manager in Britain" etc etc) thought he was doing. Did he just get overexcited at the mention of Ronaldinho or was it frustration at Blackburns lack of £££?

I don't think the current situation is quite as funny as last September with all their fans thinking Sven and Thaskin were guiding the most attractive team since Holland '74 towards a footballing utopia, but it's amusing nonetheless.

Sky blue turmoil aside, I quite fancy Arsenal for the league, Bolton and two of the promoted teams to go down, and Wigan to have a brilliant season, but then again my pre-season predictions always turn out to be shite.

I really wish I knew what Mark Hughes' reputation is built on, because as far as I can see it's one flukey win over Italy as a national team boss, and guiding a mid-table Premiership football team to, ummm, mid-table. Not exactly Helenio Herrera, is it?

Results 1 - 3 of 3 for Thaksout. (0.10 seconds)

Disappointing return.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7553775.stm

Footballer blackmailed over sex

A former Manchester City youth team goalkeeper has admitted blackmailing a top Premier League footballer over sexual images.

Goalkeeper Ashley Timms, 22, of Middleton, Greater Manchester, admitted a charge of making unwarranted demands with menaces.

He admitted blackmailing the player, who cannot be named for legal reasons, between March 1 and April 3 this year.

Ashley Cole, then.

What role do we think he'll play in Chelsea's defence this season?

Ashley Cole, then.

I read somewhere that it may well be a city player who isn't going bald any more and who doesn't have three dead grandmothers.

the traditional english h0mosexual fullback role, I'd imagine

Oh wait he is going bald again, isn't he?

xpost - man, he's had some fuckin year

Re: Mark Hughes. I think it may have something to do with the fact that the rest of Europe has started to churn out young (and dapper) managers like Klinsmann, Low, Bilic, Mancini, Van Basten etc and that, since Klinsmann did a decent job with Germany at the world cup (hardly a miracle since they had some excellent players and were at home), inexperience is not necessarily seen as a disadvantage, in fact quite the opposite.

As a result these young managers are landing some plum jobs (Inter, Barcelona, Ajax, several national teams). With the departure of Mourinho, the British media needed someone of 'their own' to build up, and having tried and failed to make Ramos exciting and sexy ('the special Juande') they looked around and realised the only guys who weren't demonstrably useless (see McLaren, Pearce) or dull as fuck (Curbishley) and didn't look like a Tesco Value potato (Bruce, Megson, Dowie), were Hughes and Southgate. It can't have been too tough a decision.

Hughes is also a reasonable spotter of value - in terms of transfer fee outlays, Blackburn must be one of the lowest spenders in the Prem, but in terms of the value they've got out of his signings... it's difficult to see that there's many Premiership sides that have done better. Ryan Nelsen and Chris Samba are one of the most solid central defensive partnerships in the league, and cost a combined £400k. Roque Santa Cruz was £3.5m. Benni McCarthy was £2.5m. Stephen Warnock was £1.5m. For a similar amount of money, Boro signed Massimo Maccarone.

And Souness-era Blackburn signed Barry Ferguson.

Blackburn were great to watch over the past two or three years.

I think Santa Cruz may have got all of his goals out of the way last season and may now suffer a Benni McCarthy-esque slump, particularly with Bentley and his lovely crosses having fucked off to spurs.

Having said that, even if he never scores for them again he will still have been worth the money paid for him, and I'm a huge fan of Nelsen and Samba.

Being an AFC Wimbledon fan, now that Paul Ince is in charge I only hope they get fucking steamrollered by all comers, excellent value defence or no.

he was signed by Blackburn Rovers for a record fee of £6.75 million in July 2001, but due to injuries and sheer lack of talent he failed to repeat this progress, scoring just once in fourteen games. Grabbi's move to Blackburn is widely regarded as one of the worst transfers in the history of the English Premier League.[1][2][3]

Bentley with an awe-inspiring brace against Roma last weekend.

I don't understand many Spurs fans' anxiety over the apparent need to sign a £10 million–£20 million "top-rated" striker to replace Keane (sold for £20 million at age 28 and it may have turned out his best season at Spurs was already behind him anyway, so good deal I say) or Berbatov (who, frankly, looks out of place in the current Spurs team).

Just get someone with lots of surface area to stand up in there and wait for the Bentley crosses and free kicks (and there's young Gareth Bale too, who can score from a free kick and is +1 against Orcs). I honestly think some big, low-priced dude kinda' like Peter Crouch or John Carew would be fine. Seriously Spurs ...

... Let's get another CB, shall we? As it stands we might see a lot of Huddlestone or Zokora playing out-of-position in CB. Not good. Corluka deal looks to have stalled, but it is pretty clear that he has had a medical and is widely-regarded as a CB who was played out of position by Sven anyway ... It could be announced tomorrow. Hell of a signing, if it works out.

I honestly think some big, low-priced dude kinda' like Peter Crouch or John Carew would be fine. Seriously Spurs ...

7ft josh hartnett lookie-likey nikola zigic = roque santa cruz 2009 if anyone can get round to handing over 20p to valencia for him, so yeah.

In a case of "So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?", Stoke have already been linked with Zigic. And, er, Claudio Pizarro.

What have you done!?!?!?!? Have you no sense of tradition? This thread has had the same name every season since 1908.

I've been away, and I know the thread title dispute upthread is hopefully dead and buried, but for the sake of The Truth I should point out this isn't strictly speaking the case.

Liverpool will win the premiership 2006/07

And Liverpool still didn't win the Premiership.

The spirit of the title lives on in the SPL thread for this season: Hearts won't win the SPL 2008/09

it'd be good if this was called "liverpool won't be on dis ting 2009/00" implying that they will have been relegated by then

1. Chelsea
2. Man Utd throw away lead after Ronaldo breaks leg in six places
3. Arsenal
4. Liverpool, not sure I can see Rafa lasting the season
5. Harry Redknapp guides Portsmouth to their highest ever finish, in the top four at Christmas, then gets arrested and new manager Alan Pardew takes them down in 2010
6. Spurs. Maybe lower if we don't sign another centre back.
7. Aston Villa
8. Everton, they're due one of their 'in the bottom half until December' seasons that happen every two or three years under Moyes
9. Sunderland
10. Newcastle
11. West Ham
12. Blackburn (complete unknown quantity actually, they could go down)
13. West Brom
14. Man City (maybe lower, this cannot end well)
15. Fulham
16. Middlesbrough
17. Wigan
18. Stoke
19. Bolton
20. Hull

Your search - "english homosexual fullback" - did not match any documents.

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http://www.trailer-spotting.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/abison.gif

City's next owner, I'm calling it

Being an AFC Wimbledon fan

spaghetti, are you Dave, Joe or a newcomer/lurker? Any chance I know you in real life?

City's next owner, I'm calling it

-- MPx4A, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 11:41 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.paulwein.com/pictures/Wrestlemania/Vince_McMahon2.jpg

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/8470/8470.jpg

Zat Knight's kayfabe daddy

6. Spurs. Maybe lower if we don't sign another centre back.

Not a centre-back, but at least that Tommy Forecast-shaped hole in your squad has now been filled.

1. Arsenal
2. Man Utd
3. Chelsea
4. Liverpool
5. Spurs
6. Portsmouth
7. Aston Villa
8. Man City
9. West Ham
10. Everton
11. Blackburn
12. Boro
13. Newcastle
14. Sunderland
15. Fulham
16. Wigan
17. West Brom
18. Bolton
19. Hull
20. Stoke - I hope they end the season with no points

Stoke - I hope they end the season with no points

cosign

Get your subscriptions in now

Phil Babb!

Lovejoy! Now On Paper!

Looks like Berbatov might be going to Man Utd after all.

Nice Hughes pic from the BBC accompanying the "I'm here to stay" story.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44917000/jpg/_44917352_hughes1_b226.jpg

1. Chelsea
2. Man Utd
3. Liverpool
4. Arsenal
5. Spurs
6. Newcastle
7. Man City
8. Aston Villa
9. Portsmouth
10. Sunderland
11. Everton
12. Fulham
13. Blackburn
14. Middlesbrough
15. West Ham
16. Wigan
17. Bolton
18. West Brom
19. Hull
20. Stoke

no idea why i think newcastle will do well

I was about to ask, I really think Newcastle have one of the worst squads in the league, 13th or 14th would be my guess. Outside Given, N'Zogbia, Milner and Martins I don't rate any of them.

Mark C, don't think we know each other, and I've only been reading these boards for a couple of months or so...

sonotgonnahappen

We've all seen where we want to go and stop surrounding referees

What the fuck does this even mean? I'm quite tired and everything but this sentence just doesn't make any sense to me.

^Seconded

I think we all hold our hands up to that

"and try to knock the red card out of the ref's," he added.

Yawn.

I know it's Pompey and we're supposed to laugh at them and everything but people seem to be putting them rather low. That's a pretty strong team across the park now, isn't it?

otm^

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_3975032,00.html

C-Cuell was clearly only able to tear himself away from Rangers because he got an offer from a club that could offer him European footb-

I know it's Pompey and we're supposed to laugh at them and everything but people seem to be putting them rather low. That's a pretty strong team across the park now, isn't it?

-- Matt DC, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 10:32 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I'll be honest, between his continual arrests, dodgy health, and offers from Russia, I'd be very surprised if 'arry was still their manager at the end of the season

ferg, surely carlos' nickname should be "sarah michelle"

WHINE CUELLAR: Villa's Latino hotshot in ref complain shock

His nickname up here is Ugly Betty, but you lot are way better at this.

He seems to be some sort of unholy three-way union of Ugly Betty, Martin Keown and Julian Barrett

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=s4yKBZPGxr0

his career's already peaked, anyway

^ in my top three moments of last season, easy

Haha that's almost as good as the Kolo Toure one where he's LYING ON THE PITCH and manages to leap left and push the ball away.

please give that commentator a job stat

Still makes me smile!

(Celtic missed the resultant penalty, btw)

Don't have the sound on, is that the "Get. To. Fuck" "commentator's eye" chap?

hah ayeah

no complaints, a big red card stuck up his arse, but he's the best player rangers have had for years. FUCK OFF

i can't stop listening to this. it's so soothing.

(how is that cheating if he got sent off and they got a penalty?)

(i mean it's not like he's defied the game of football itself by handling the ball on the line, just that the appropriate response has been taken. it's not cheating, he's free to make that choice!)

fouls are cheating.

people are free to make the choice of cheating

it's only cheating if it goes unpunished (or insufficiently punished)

actually ignore that last posts i mean

people are free to make the choice of being a cheating hun bastard

reason into football won't go

cheat: to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud

Celtic were deprived of a goal due to Cuellar's actions. QED.

lj's wife (god forbid): "omg i can't believe you cheated on me"
lj: "no i didn't"
lj's wife: "dude i caught you engaging in poppage with that girl"
lj: "exactly therefore it's not cheating"

failed cheating: http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=vl3HnU0HOhk

Celtic were deprived of a goal because Nakamura couldn't beat the opposition. They were advantaged a penalty and a red card because of the manner in which Rangers remained unbreached.

If Cuellar had made some attempt to conceal the fact he'd handled it, that would have been attempted cheating. Like Mr. Taylor up there.

this is like so profound

Roy Carroll: cheat.

Jagger: I, like at least two other dudes who post to the football threads, work as a sub-editor. You're wrong.

No, Celtic were deprived of a goal because Cuellar broke the rules. (And because Scott McDonald takes a shite penalty) Nakamura beat everyone he was meant to and allowed to, Cuellar broke the rule which should have allowed Naka's shot to sail over his head into the goal as intended.

xpost to LJ

jagger: i work at a hospital, you're wrong

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1550415.ece

Great comments box under this one.

LJ you know what rules are, right? You know people often refer to breaking rules as cheating? Being an outfield player and using your hands to stop the ball is breaking the rules and therefore cheating. Betty denied Celtic a goal and gained his team the opportunity of saving another shot, the penalty.

Pointless discussion really though, 'cause 3 in a row giruy etc :)

a big red card stuck up his arse
^that bit cracked me up.

The definition of "cheat" is subjective, not set in Chambers' stone. When Phil Neville did this in the last minute of the Merseyside Derby, the general opinion was that he'd done the right thing and sacrificed himself for a possiblly saved penalty. Not that he'd cheated. But I guess I'm wrong as usual.

BBC called, they want to know when you can start.

If people want too prey do it before or after the game!

Lee Dixon had better start singing or he's on his way out.

definitions by definition cannot be subjective

whether one should condone cheating or not is up to themselves.

didn't Stephen Taylor get away with that exact move on a subsequent occasion?

Louis, you are insane

xpost so get tae fuck.

now that that matter's settled.. i think "player of the year, now he's a dick" is going to be my first album title

Louis, he got sent off FOR CHEATING. This is idiotic.

it's only cheating if it goes unpunished (or insufficiently punished)

Other people who were caught, punished and therefore didn't cheat: Dwain Chambers, Marion Jones, Floyd Landis.

When Phil Neville did this in the last minute of the Merseyside Derby, the general opinion was that he'd done the right thing and sacrificed himself for a possiblly saved penalty. Not that he'd cheated. But I guess I'm wrong as usual.

No, no, no, no, no. The general consensus was that he had *cheated* (because he broke the rules), but that in a cynical way it was right for him to sacrifice himself for the sake of his team.

Re: that nonsensical John Terry quote from the BBC website ("We've all seen where we want to go and stop surrounding referees"), when you read the article you see that there's actually another bit to it:
"We've all seen where we want to go and stop surrounding referees - the respect is definitely there," he said.
Now that makes much more sense.

Louis get a red card up yer arse and get tae fuck ;)

"We're not negotiating, and we're not falling out with Arsenal if they don't accept the bid."

Chelsea are making a 'major announcement' at 5pm. Must be Robinho or Kaka.

they've re-signed Sidwell. it was all a terrible misunderstanding.

roman abramovich has pulled out of chelsea

he's being loaned to Citeh for the season

Windass finally playing for a big team.

Trumped United's bid for Berbatov.

Actually I would roffle hugely at that.

http://www.thefootie.com/wp-content/uploads/frank-lampard-shock.jpg

#1 GIS result for "frank lampard"

Lampard signs a 5 year contract

:-0

thanks for this, Chelsea

so basically he's going to real madrid next year then?

I feel pathetic now. The last thing I'll say is that Chambers, Landis et al did what they did in secret and supposed that they wouldn't get caught. There are, perhaps, different degrees of cheating. But I'll let sleeping horrors lie.

whatever tiny optimism I had is shattered by this fucking woeful display....bravely boring Standard Liege to death as they desperately try to play good football....what a joke

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=F8oN58cyp2c

Arthur Bostrom is alive and well and managing FC Twente.

FUCK IT YOU BASTARDS he's not cheating he's participating in an ETERNAL DISCOURSE by which the player OPENLY handles the ball and the referee RITUALISTICALLY raises his hand to signify a PENALTY KICK and a RED CARD, this is LORE

also that video had better be a cheeky overdub :D

The two highlights for me are "we are... how you say... underdogsh" and the "Arsenal... pffff" complete with gallic shrug.

(It's genuine, btw)

jesus fucking christ

whatever tiny optimism I had is shattered by this fucking woeful display....bravely boring Standard Liege to death as they desperately try to play good football....what a joke

I didn't see the game at all, but this sounds rather like taking a leaf out of Walter Smith's book on the way to last season's UEFA Cup Final. It worked for them, but sucked the life out of all who watched them. I tend to come down on the side of getting a result at the end of the tie, but find my argument faltring when it's so mind-numbingly dull that you'd rather be anywhere but in the stadium/in front of a telly.

Yes but Liverpool should really be swatting Standard Liege aside with minimum effort, it's not like they need to grind out a result.

I took great pleasure in texting my Liverpool-supporting mate that the Reina "save" off the post was more clearly over the line than that CL "goal" against Chelsea.

Also, Jamie Carragher clearly not backing John Terry's RESPECK campaign.

you'd think the same about Rangers v FBK Kaunas...oh, wait.

Is it time for "Liverpool won't win the Champions League 08/09" now?

whatever tiny optimism I had is shattered by this fucking woeful display

I was pissed off by this game for the opposite reasons. You should be as good as out! But Liverpool will sail through the 2nd leg and into the multi-millions again and this will be forgotten just like those stumbling August performances vs Graz, CSKA Sofia and that Israeli team I can't even be bothered Googling. Liverpool frequently struggle in the CL r3Q, just enough to offer the tantalising glimpse of all that TV cash being snatched away, but...nah.

Oh yeah, we're supposed to have a separate Euro thread, aren't we?

FC Twente won't be on dis ting 2008/09

dish ting, surely

Schtop, dish FC Twente side ish not ready for the CL 2008/09

^^^do it

^^winner xpost

cos i was born a Lieger, Standard

This Bulgarian Babelfished piece on Berbatov doesn't seem to have been done here yet so it is my gift to you

'Waiting exhausted itself this morning in continuing fable of promotion from Tottenham Hotspur, a collective at London, to again Manchester of his first asset, Dimitar Berbatov. Since two years, he went in same direction the North-traveling man Carrick, and even this empty season has extracted Robbie Keane, Irish son of that once of Manchester Keane now inspecting his saddle at Sunderland. Yet necessary rapid articulation of signatory przilsky has been circumcised by anger at Manchester from Daniel Levy, president of the Tottenham collective, which was smiling sporadically in the 1960’s.

All Bulgaria, including Manchester, lusts for prompt Berbatovian resettlement, for three causes. First, in Manchester are superior comrades, by example Ronald the Christian, who again is Annual Global Footballer, Wayne Rooney, the River Ferdinand, and Nemanja Vidic, metallic Serbian rapist. At most least, Dimitar will certainly cheer a lack of Michael Dawson.

Second, there is shame in heroic genius screaming pointlessly for the League of Champions. If Jermaine Pennant is running at Milan and Madrid, while Dimi at home eats squashed potato without pork, this is stupid.

Thirdly, in Manchester he can win suitcase over suitcase of pound sterling. In negotiations, an exact price of labour has not yet made it so that both sides hold each the other man’s hand and, smiling, jiggle. However, because Micha’s agent, Emil Dantchev, is friend of my uncle Lyubomir, who shoots horses with his father, I sometimes loosely push him with my telephone’s mouth. Emil poured onto the ground for me some approximate prices of labour of £75-85,000 per week. Queen Elizabeth will steal some of this from tax, but, Emil insists me, not much, because officially his client lives in the sea. And above money, Manchester will treat Michko with mercy: he is able to go away back in Bulgaria in summer, he will build a castle with garden on an island called Cheshire, and he is permitted to breed.

We will find after this season what flavour of honour our Mitichevsky inhales. In Manchester already they are anticipating parties. On the internet, slow people repeat the phrase “Time for removal of my penis!” This signifies that they are happy. But still supporters of Tottenham collective roar into a deaf night. Levy writes a poem from his wounds for FA, English football politburo. But by a proverb this is only throwing salt between steeples to make watery slujka. By now, Dmitichichka’s promotion is a gutted fish.

Berbatov is beautiful, with sly eyes like demon.

metallic Serbian rapist

ok at the words "metallic Serbian rapist" what had been manifested in ever-increasing chuckles turned into full-on uncontrollable mirth

xpost

probably the work of "mr sensible" aka david stubbs aka the guy who did those awesome liverpool parodies

Liverpool parodies weren't David Stubbs, they were Taylor Parkes

really?! i was led to believe otherwise. kudos to taylor, whoever you are

It was good that Liverpool got to experience er... big games, Champions League, Liége, at home, at la rue Gilles Magnée.. will be fantastic for the players not just for now, and for the future as well.

wow i've never seen this this is awesome
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=SkUWLT5g3WE&NR=1

At most least, Dimitar will certainly cheer a lack of Michael Dawson

this is revelatory. we all, in our own way, cheer a lack of michael dawson.

I was pissed off by this game for the opposite reasons. You should be as good as out! But Liverpool will sail through the 2nd leg and into the multi-millions again and this will be forgotten just like those stumbling August performances vs Graz, CSKA Sofia and that Israeli team I can't even be bothered Googling. Liverpool frequently struggle in the CL r3Q, just enough to offer the tantalising glimpse of all that TV cash being snatched away, but...nah.

Oh yeah, we're supposed to have a separate Euro thread, aren't we?

Fair point Mike but I meant optimism about the league! You can get away with duff performances and draws in the CL, that's prob why Rafa does well in it. Expect another 8 games like this in the Prem for Liverpool this year, and there's the 15-18 point gap they'll trail Man U and Chelsea by.

I mean, you just see these games and think "no truly good team should ever play this badly". That was approaching Marseille last year standard.

apparently the berbatov thing is by some bloke on the redcafe utd board. this is also his excellent work:

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/1966/lutherkingif7.jpg

that is simply brilliant

Fifa has ordered former Chelsea striker Adrian Mutu to pay the club £13.68m in damages for breach of contract after he tested positive for cocaine.

how does this even work? hard to believe players like Mutu actually have that much just lying around

It doesn't say how they came up with the amount. There's no mention of it on the FIFA website, naturally.

I'm guessing here, but the amount is so high (and can't be for repayment of wages as those were never paid) that FIFA must be saying that Chelsea were entitled to sack him and effectively sell him to himself - £13.68m being a rough estimate of his value at the time. I hope for his sake that he then sold himself to Juventus for a similar sum.

If I were Newcastle, I'd be having a good think about whether I really want Joey Barton after all

xpost Redcafe can be very funny. Have a look at this thread.

My Man U-supporting buddy has already linked me to that via MSN. There's only one good poster in the entire thing (samabachan), fortunately he/she makes most of 'em.

does anyone know how the Mutu decision would stand in a real court, as opposed to FIFA's fake court? Having to give up half a career's worth (if yr lucky) of wages sounds like something that would generally be deemed a bit unreasonable.

My Man U-supporting buddy has already linked me to that via MSN. There's only one good poster in the entire thing (samabachan), fortunately he/she makes most of 'em.

You know, I hadn't noticed that before; fair play to samabachan. Also, it's a no-brainer in one sense, as many of the pics are already funny even without captions (Fabregas, Gallas, etc).

I just love this ...

http://www.arsedup.com/images/Spurs_Favorite_Chef.jpg

Ugh, those message boards are horrible - thirteen pages for about three screens' worth of gags. Hats off to ILX

best zing on that daily mail one is

balague: "the essential point here is that i'm getting laid"

been waiting for someone to go in on that dude

at last pompey have signed a left winger

Jerome Thomas has joined Pompey on loan from Charlton until the end of the season.
http://www.portsmouthfc.co.uk/?cms_id=78&qs_articleid=1439&qs_media=html

meanwhile Pedro Mendes is apparently offski to Glasgow Rangers for 3 million

and
http://www.eatsleepsport.com/portsmouth/algerian-left-back-deal-on-772270.html
Pompey have reportedly won the race to sign Lens left-back Nadir Beldadj after agreeing a fee of £3million for the Algerian.

Not confirmed yet

dwain chambers was wearing his ON DIS TING t-shirt again on big bruv last night btw

lol waht jerome thomas? glen little was a sly one but harry's gone too far here.

top of the game like the english premier / coming now like a pitbull terrier, terrier

dammit harry why not spash the cash and make it permanent

jerome thomas has played in the premiership top half for a couple of seasons under Curbishley. Then Charlton got relegated in the disaster season of Dowie-Reed-Pardew, then Charlton under performed last season.

a winger needs pace and accurate passing - Jerome Thomas is still only 25, it's not like Pompey have signed 35 year old has been.

Jerome Thomas now has a chance once again to perform in the premier league.

via wikipedia: In October 2006, Thomas signed a new contract keeping him at the club until the summer of 2009.

a bosman next summer

You know what a winger also needs? The ability to beat his man and then not turn back and attempt to beat him a second or third time. Hope you're paying his wages!

I would expect that Jerome has had a pay rise, as players relegated to the championship often have their wages halved. Surely his agent would have agreed a premier league wage for him with pompey.

I also expect Charlton were paid a loan fee arrangement by Pompey.

I also expect Jerome will kick a ball or two in his next season at Pompey. And that he might play in some matches, and report for training a few times a week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPsoCRdJRc8

Newcastle sign haircut

pedro mendes will be IMMENSE for Rangers. goal of the month every month.

I love Pedro Mendes.

SPL goalkeepers still crap then?

darraghmac otm :(

SPL goalkeepers still crap then?

Most of them. Bear in mind we're talking about a £30k a week seasoned premiership player against a bunch of £500 a week journeymen, for the most part.

Pedro's "goal" for Spurs vs Man Ure

terrible passer, mind.

How's his flute playing?

bound to be more of a flamenco guitarist

Mendes is a decent passer of the ball, not in the Carrick or Huddlestone bracket but he did a decent job for us. Half expected him to end up at Sunderland or somewhere.

Oranges are big in Seville after all. Ball players sometimes flourish at Ibrox, other times they are buried under the sheer weight of 100+ years of hoof/lump/kick

Roy Keane Q&A from Sunderland Supporters' Lunch, ganked from elsewhere:

Players

On Danny Collins:
All credit to Danny but he isn't a left back... he was great last season which is a credit to danny.

On Chopra:
Chopra is the best finisher at the club by far but to play 90 minutes in a premiership game you need to have more than that in your locker like hold up play, winning headers etc etc....but also we need someone up there with him to get the best out of him and had no choice but to play him right wing last season as there was nobody else. Chops had no qualms about this as he was doing a job for the team and at the end of the day that is there job and one for which they get extremely well paid but 'no-one needs to tell me that Chops isn't a right winger'

On Leadbitter:
Leadbitter was good on the ball but didn't have the physical attributes to play 90 minutes consistently in the premiership and also that Whitehead had the pace, strength and physical attributes but lacked a bit of quality on the ball'

On the new players:
Malbranque and Diouf have been absolute quality in training and some of the 'important players' from last year are being left behind, but that's progress for you. Never spoke to Diouf once during negotiations, Diouf wanted to come to SAFC and the lad is a top professional.

When asked about El Hadji Dioufs dress sense and Bling Roy replied.....

'I never see any of the players in their clothes'

'Not bothered what they wear or who they sleep with, but as soon as they pull the training kit on with the Sunderland badge on their chests they are ready to train hard. If not they won't be in my team and they know that. I can only be fair to the players'

On the current Team:
We lack pace and power in the team. Certain players lack certain things, whitehead on the ball, leadbitter strength etc etc but attitude is first class in training every day and know's exactly what he is going to get.
We lacked the ability to get in behind teams last season and teams knew we didnt have the threat to do this but diouf / malbranque and richardson all players who can do this.

'On fridays we sometimes take the players to the pictures, have a card school or set them a quiz '

On the Youngsters:
'Very high hopes for our batch of youngsters.'

On Players we need:
Talking about coaching staff / scouting networks / financial backing / the required quality we need and are after. Alot of our forwards are much of a muchness, we need a top top class centre forward.
Some players arent capable of playing in front of 40k .... expectations too much but new players he knows will do it easily... may
not play well or do the business as no guarentee's but no problems mentally

On undisciplined Players:
Has told players they would be sold '10 seconds' after finding out they'd been up to mischief' but some were harder to get rid of than others as you then have to wait for other clubs to take them....

On Premier League Players:
'All top players must posses pace and look at Man Utd or Arsenals players'. He then said Scholes was not the quickest in the world but he is over 10 yards and spoke very highly of him. When he's talking about pace he wasn't suggesting about just the kind that are quick all over the pitch, he meant with their speed of thought as well as he then mentioned about Andy Reid not been like the typical kind of player but mentioned about his ability on the ball and said he would be perfect for opening teams up and getting players in behind opposition defences

On Transfer targets/dealings:
The next Striker to come in will be on a different level to anything we've goy as already enough strikers at club with similar ability....

We have had a very good offer turned down for Johnny Evans.

We need 3 more players as everyone knows a left back, centre half and centre forward.

We had a 16.5 million pound bid rejected for a player last week the clubs we've made 'big bids to' don't need the money so it ' s harder to get them to sell....

'I will only bring players into the club that are better than i already have. I made mistakes last year by bringing in players who were of similar ability to what was already at the club. However i still needed to swell the numbers of the squad not least for training purposes as you can't train everyday with a squad of 12-13 players'

'The trouble when trying to sign the top players is that if you want to sign someone from a big club, they will only take a step down if they are at least still playing in the UEFA cup'

On making poor signings:
'After signing certain players and watching them for 30 seconds in training iv'e seen that iv'e made a mistake but instead of trying to cover it up iv'e just started thinking how we can get rid of him'

Made loads of mistakes with signings last season, our club was far too big for certain players, others not good enough, others not better than what we already had.

On mercenary players:
Keano said he would talk to players after agreeing a fee with their clubs and they would say 'I don't really want to come to Sunderland but if you offer me a good financial package i'd consider it'

He would then basically tell them to '**** off'.... 'Players must want to come to Sunderland 1st and foremost and if they do then the financial side will look after itself.....

He also went onto say that if in such meetings he was getting 'bad vibes' from a player he would purposely offer them low financial packages knowing fine well they would turn us down!
Cant believe any footballer would choose club on shops and location... they have plenty of time to shop when retired.
'I don't lose any sleep when a player turns us down because after speaking with them more often than not i don't feel they are right for the club anyway'

'2 players turned us down in January and went to smaller clubs than Sunderland for more money, but the way their careers have gone since makes me think i'm ****ing glad i never signed them'

On the Area:
Also said a few ex players of our club Newcastle and Boro had been bad mouthing the area and with football being a small world news travels fast in certain cases this has made it harder to attract players

On Wages
'While we are willing to pay the big wages for the right players we have to be careful we aren't offering silly money to players who only want to come for financial reasons, there is a fine line and its my job to get the balance right because i can guarantee that if we are 2-0 down and up against it, the players that don't really want to play for the Shirt and only the money will be the ones that go missing'

On the Scouting system:
The Reason he brought players in from Utd / Celtic / Irish players as we had no scouting network set up so needed players he knew about. 'You can watch players / have scouting reports etc but can't judge until you see them in training, knew some were not good enough after 20 seconds'

Got scouting network setups in Germany / France / Italy etc. Fergie said it took him over 5 years to get his networks set up.

On Club relations:
Very happy here and has very good relationship with quinny and is well backed in all departments

On how he was brought here:
'Lovely story about when he was approached by us. Had told his agent that he wanted to take two years out from football. Turned down a couple of "smaller" management opportunities saying wanted a break. Out walking the dog when his agent rang to say someone wanted to talk to him-at first he sai d didn't want to know who it was but agent persuaded him to listen. Found out it was us and felt he could do something and make us a big club. Said Quinny and the board "did it right"-flew him to Dublin, private helicopter to pick him up etc

Team
On when he first took over:
When he took over last song in dressing room was dancing queen by Abba which the masseurs used to pick, no leaders in dressing room at the time and we lacked character.

Spoke about losing mentality in club / cancelling bus ride / in New Zealand with all blacks Spoke about how hard a league the championship is / was but said its poor quality and he knew if we could get on a run we would do ok.

On our aims:
Top four worlds apart from the rest at the minute but we should be challenging the Villa's, Everton's, Spurs etc. The gulf between top 4 and rest of Premiership he says it will take years to bridge the gap...

So far we have spent £16million in transfer fees whereas the top 4 can spend that on 1 player and not bat an eyelid.

'We must raise the bar at all levels within the club, our reserves lost 2-0 to Gateshead recently and that is totally unaccaptable, no matter what capacity you are representing the club, whether it be in training or a practice match you must set high standards'
Things at top clubs need to be right from the players to staff / to medics / cleaners etc,
Everyone at club plays there parts and everything must be right.

On the Fans:
Also praised the fans saying that we had a knowledgeable and understanding support

The games last season he mentioned in particular were Everton away, Man Utd home and Newcastle away..... saying that the fans could have turned on the team after these games and had a go but because the fans knew we lacked quality and that the players we had were giving their best we went easy on them.....
This stood us in good stead and kept confidence up. He could sense that in tight games we were going to get late goals with the crowd backing the team all the way'

Team

On Formations:

He played 4-4-2 all his career and that is his favourite formation but we have to be versatile and there is thinking behind every formation and selection we ever used.

On Last Season:

Spoke about scum away and said always open to criticism when get beat with that kind of performance etc Spoke about the Man City / Blackburn games last season and how we lost both but never should have 1 of the new lads has picked up a slight injury and is 50/50 for Saturdays game.......

On Team selection:

He picks the team on what the players have done in training Monday-Friday not on reputations or what they have done in the past....

Any player who puts his lot in Monday and Tuesday and then 'tiptoes' through training for the rest of the week will not be picked and the players know that in no uncertain terms.....

'We have paid the price at times with picking injuries up but i'd much rather have it that way than players taking their foot off the pedal'

On his approach:

Said he made a decision to keep calm on the touchlines but he does sometimes lose it big time in the dressing room

Playing days

On Haaland:
Didn't mean to break Haalands leg, 'just meant to hit him hard'

On Contracts:
Contracts mean nothing, when his contract ran out at Man Utd he was going to join Juve but decided to stay with Utd.

People mentioned to him about the city of Turin been industrial etc... his reply i play on grass, not bothered about surroundings etc

On Playing:
Said he was never the kind of player who could beat 3 players but he always gave his all. Was asked about his character and the Juve game when he single handily pulled them back into the game and put them in champions league final knowing he was banned.
He said it was and should always be about the team, it was his job in which he got paid fantastically well for to drive the team on. Said he couldn ' t understand how people went on about the game as they shouldn ' t have been 2-0 down anyway.

"I never seen any of the players in their clothes"

"I didn't recgonise you with your clothes on" etc

When he took over last song in dressing room was dancing queen by Abba which the masseurs used to pick, no leaders in dressing room at the time and we lacked character.

amdy faye: how does he keep doing it?

Special Envelopes

TAKE A FUCKING BOW PARDEW :D

to be honest, 16.5 mill for D.Bent will never be surpassed but this is some achievement

A sentiment I'm sure we can all get behind

Never seen the video before - that sheepskin coat!

He's wearing the same coat on the album cover:

http://images33.fotosik.pl/156/89d08e5168c4981a.jpg

"Come with your big issue/Get gunned like Phil Mitchell" = realest of talk

Weirdly, his new album came in the post today.

Arsenal 1, Fake Brazil 0:

http://img381.imageshack.us/img381/9025/nasri2ti7.jpg

Burnley/Ipswich delayed 30 minutes because a parachutist is stuck on the roof of a Turf Moor stand

"David Wheater will have spent the summer playing bingo, as he likes to do"

"Paul Robinson's had a nightmare".

No, really?

Anyone think this might be the season Dean Ashton actually justifies the hype?

Spurs are playing the sort of classic throw everyone forward game we all remember so well from the Ossie Ardiles era. Fuck all quality on the left side though, espeically with Bentley out there evidently taking the Steven Gerrard approach to positioning.

assou ekotto? oh lord. he's like a left sided gary doherty. or just pyo lee.

by some strange serendipity, "assou ekotto" contains the phrase "STOKE OUT"

great. i'd be interested to see what you can do with paul robinson. cos no cunt can make a goalie of him.

lol mido

^^^

david wheater is in one of my fantasy teams! :D

starting back four- zokora, dawson, woodgate, ekotto.

that's a team that can challenge for a top six place alright.

ramos yellow card.

Moyes out.

My fantasy team has Cahill and Ashton in, so a pretty great day. Zaki as well, but unfortunately he's on the bench. I chose BENT to start.

So did I :(

david wheater is in one of my fantasy teams! :D

Lol.

i can only see the text updates on BBC, is anybody catching this live? because it's startling to see how often Boro are getting shots on our goal within 25-30 seconds of having a defensive throw in according to the website.

and i thought modric and bentley would solve our DM crisis.... :p

headed own goal wheater. worse again, that means mido scored the WINNER

least successful ilx day ever. anyone get a result?

come on sunderland.

FKN OOIJER!!!

both my fantasy teams have a scoring defender :D :D :D

Shame one of them gets wiped out by an own-goal innit.

yeah shut up yeovil

Ah, whatever. BBC claims Robert Huth scored it anyway. Next you'll be telling me my side just got beaten by Watford!

least successful ilx day ever. anyone get a result?

-- r|t|c, Saturday, 16 August 2008 16:56 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Think Noodle was the only one whose boys won.

1 Bolton
2 Blackburn
3 Hull
4 Middlesbrough

Frumpiest top four ever?

Lol City

oh of course the bbc are using that verve song for round-up highlights.

Both teams in gold and black who hold a place in my heart won, woohoo.

1 Bolton
2 Blackburn
3 Hull
4 Middlesbrough

Frumpiest top four ever?

-- Matt DC, Saturday, 16 August 2008 17:04 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Tory think tanks, the fuck do they know?

Regeneration in London has done fuck all, Southern football fans should move North if they want to watch their side win.

Believe this strategy already very much in force at Old Trafford.

Sunderland appear to be fielding five men who regularly play on the left of midfield. Liverpool seem to have none. :D

Gus Poyet looks like a wooden statue of some pre-renaissance saint in a Spanish cathedral.

Another great performance from Liverpool

man, premiership comedy bollocks + bootleg MUNDO FUTBOL spanish commentary is the truth. gripped by this trash right now.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRREECHARDSON CON LA PELOTA

"lol sami hyppia" remains a universal language tho. are sktrel & agger both knacked? please tell me they are.

starting back four- zokora, dawson, woodgate, ekotto.

that's a team that can challenge for a top six place alright.

ramos yellow card.

-- darraghmac, Saturday, 16 August 2008 15:50 (3 hours ago) Link

No, that would yellows for Comolli and Levy.

Zokora was the best Spurs player on the pitch today, actually.

so good that downing was quiet as a mouse on the left.

fuck it, ramos out

http://itaprintonline.com/media/image/product/missyou_postcard.jpg

:D

Hwoaly shit Geovanni's goal was awesome.

I have a friend whose recently born son bears the middle name Geovanni.

"Don't forget, he's Brazilian"

southgate's pretty interesting really. like, he's in his faraway little garden shed with all these kids and random (but carefully chosen) foreigners - WHAT'S HE BUILDING IN THERE?? sometimes it looks clueless, sometimes there's a hint of... something wengerish i suppose. i mean ok yeah lol only spurs, but still.

Lol.

-- Matt DC, Saturday, 16 August 2008 15:55 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Shame one of them gets wiped out by an own-goal innit.

-- Matt DC, Saturday, 16 August 2008 15:57 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Link

HUTH'S LAUGHING NOW???

also, GRETAR STEINSSON: I WANT TO BELIEVE

he's no ferguson, but he's no ramos either to be fair.

uh, xpost...

obv it's to do with knowing boro will give him as long as he wants as long as nothing gets drastic, but then half the managers in the premiership are sorta in that situation really. but it all just seems eerily calm with him, cos he's got a plan.

the youth system will be enough to keep them in the league for the next few years anyway.

Haha yeah I hadn't really paid any attention to Boro all summer and then looked at their squad and was like 'wtf you let all those players go?' Also Alves looks like he could be the new Yakubu (ie scores shedloads of goals without anyone really noticing).

To be fair to Spurs their defending wasn't even the worst in the Premiership this weekend. Lol Everton.

Also Gareth Southgate can always be relied upon to pull something ridiculous out of the hat and spank one of the top four 3 or 4 nil at some point in the season.

Chelsea look to be on dis ting early doors.

By all accounts swatting Pompey aside without really breaking a sweat.

Meanwhile:

1504: Manchester City's season goes from bad to worse. They win an early corner which is aimed towards Elano - who is tripped by the referee. THE REFEREE!

late goal for city keeps them off the bottom. Hat-trick in 7 minutes or so for Agbonlahor. We'll have Shaun Maloney back now please - obviously surplus to requirements for MO'N.

bojinov out for 6 months after achilles injury in warmup.

One of them perfect hat-tricks, no less. Looked like a headless chicken for much of the rest of the game. Unbelievable. Meanwhile, the gaping Dean Ashton shaped hole in the England squad is filled by Heskey.

"You're going down with your chairman" and inexplicable chant of "Sven Goran Erikkson" to the tune of Rigoletto were the best of the City-baiting among what was otherwise yer rote partisan chest-beating. Was hoping the optional final verse of "Paul McGrath, My Lord" would be changed to "human rights, my lord, human rights"

Maloney had a good pre-season and hasn't been on the bench for the last two games so I guess he could be off.

FANTASY FOOTBALL UPDATE WEEK 1:

Bow your head and kiss the motherfucking ring, because D*m P*ssantino's Jim Glass Heroes are your week #1 ILX Fantasy League leaders. Longtime ILX favourite Frank Lampard netting them 20 points as captain, with 10 points for Dean Ashton, 8 for Petr Cech, and sevens for Ashley Young and genius wildcard pick Gary Cahill.

In joint second, P*ter Br*wn's Mentalist FC make up for having Glen Johnson in defence with big midfield displays from Arteta and Deco, and Deco also making an impact, alongside Carvahlo and Gallas, for Al*n R*lph's Useful Fools.

Guys with Arabic names who we don't know who are for some reason in our league: 15, 19, 36.

Ailsa's The Muppets are your week 1 wooden spoon, which is what you get for putting your faith in the backbone of the Liverpool team + Dave Kitson. 17 points over all, Kitson wouldn't even bother shuffling his tiles for that.

why did i pick three fucking spurs players

why did i pick three fucking spurs players

-- Just got offed, Sunday, 17 August 2008 21:30 (51 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

The eternal cry of the fantasy football manager

Ok WHAT THE FUCK, my Guardian team doesn't seem to have registered ANY points, is there some sort of "confirm team" thing I've missed?

This is some fucking bullshit.

This deadline is always midday on the Saturday at the start of a game week.

OK YOU CUNTS I SUBMITTED MY TEAM HALF AN HOUR BEFORE ARSENAL-WBA KICKOFF THAT'S 12.15 PM OMG YOU ARE SUCH DEAD FUCKING CUNTS I HAD OOIJER AND WHEATER IN THAT SIDE JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE FUCKING DONE FOR A MINUTE THERE YOU MASSIVE, MASSIVE CUNTS CHRIST ALMIGHTY I WISH YOU WERE DEAD GUARDIAN FANTASY FOOTBALL PROGRAMMER PERSON DEAD YOU HEAR ME DEAD YOU SHITTY FUCKER

FUCK

HUTH'S LAUGHING NOW???

-- Just got offed, Saturday, 16 August 2008 22:54 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

FUCK YOU TOO

http://twoday.net/static/txt/images/falling_down.jpg

http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v296/103/125/36910239/n36910239_37753137_3399.jpg

this generation will be remembered for being the first to experience the phenomenon of being inconsolable over frustrating fantasy league mishaps

http://www.uweb.ucsb.edu/~rebozzo/wilfredowen.jpghttp://midtablemediocrity.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/david_wheater1_603160.jpg
So neck to neck and obstinate knee to knee
Wrestled those two; and peerless Heracles
Could not prevail nor catch at any vantage;
But those huge hands which small had strangled snakes
Let slip the writhing of Antaeas' wrists;
Those clubs of hands that wrenched the necks of bulls
Now fumbled round the slim Antaeas' limbs
Baffled. Then anger swelled in Heracles,
And terribly he grappled broader arms,
And yet more firmly fixed his grasping feet,
And up his back the muscles bulged and shone

Pompey and Man City both debuting atrocious away kits today

they hired a different guy to play Mido this season, right?

It's the second Ultimate Warrior, I think.

why don't i mind lee dixon? rationally speaking he's just as bad as the rest of em; that whole 10 minute long "deco makes a run - there's a bit of space - now joe cole pisses about - ooh look some more space" segment was hella stupid.

(is it cos carlton palmer used to call him "dicko" on final score?)

laughed at Hansen signing off with some woeful sub-Sky scripted shit about how we'd had some great performances on and off the pitch, some great strikes and "FOOTBALL IS BACK"

LOOK AT THE FOOTBALL, IT'S MOVING

Top of the Graun league - end the season now!

you wait til i actually start registering my teams in time

Man City message boards are a treat at the moment, that's for sure.

at times like these, chirpy racism is the only real solace

'Oh Sun Jihai, hes a chinky not a thai''

Always thought that one was quite good!

(Hope nobody takes offense by me using the word chinky)

short of a miraculous comeback with Stoke or some shit, this is the first ever Premier League season without Ian Pearce, btw

Seriously?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/aug/20/arsenal.manchesterunited

'Oh Sun Jihai, hes a chinky not a thai''

Always thought that one was quite good!

that one IS quite good though

Why would Wenger want Silvestre as a first choice centre back? Over Toure? Really?

Really strange.

Also, it leaves United with even less in the way of defensive cover. Injury to Vidic and Rio and who have they got.

Toure? I think you mean Clichy.

But yeah, don't want him fanks.

first choice? hardly. cover for gallas or toure.

though if he's going to be pushed out to right back so that eboue can play on the right of midfield again this season, toure might well get sick of people questioning his 'lack of form' and head elsewhere.

Ian Pearce could always be relied on to score the odd goal; I'm convinced this is what got him so many second chances at PL level.

I mourn the passing of another "I'm sure there's one more" pub quiz question.

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20080819/capt.1809290e103541a5be7c14209e37b1f6.beijing_olympics_soccer_men__oly296.jpg

l-r: Craig Bellamy, Jon-Arne Riise

Typical fun and games for Liverpool pre-season then. According to Lucas' wikipedia page it was an 'ironic' challenge, so that's alright.

is the England game not on any tv tonight ?

Setanta Sports 1

I saw Ian Pearce make his debut. This makes me an official old timer.

I think I've said that on every Liverpool Won't Win thread since 1657.

cheers onimo

maybe silvestre is covering that defensive midfield role that senderos has currently been doing a sterling job at

who cares if Lucas fouled Mascherano? be worse if they were going easy on each other or something...

wee shon gon

Wee shon arrived! Welcome back, wee man.

good luck to the kid, he is mah favourite introspective Malaysian-born winger and I predict he will score 15 free kicks this season

In a team with Nakamura and Barry Robson in it? Nae chance. We don't *GET* that many free kicks.

Ok I predict he will score about four goals where he cuts in from the wing and hoofs it in the top corner

Favouritest Maloney moment ever. Please to be doing this next week :-)

Shame he couldn't cut it in the Premier League, but given that Martin O'Neill never picked him at Celtic, I'm not sure what he was expecting.

sadly Maloney's puffball shot that Cech threw into the net isn't on Youtube

seem to recall loads of Celtic fans going "ah, he's found his level" when he joined Villa, and now a load of Villa fans are going "ah well, he wasn't good enough for this league anyway" even though his two best performances were probably against Chelsea and Arsenal

I wasn't too sad to see him go, but I think I'm fairly glad to have him back (will reserve judgement to see if he gets in the team, and who he replaces). It's not like we've spent a ton of money on getting him back, and he's got a wee bit more experience without us having to pay his wages in the intervening 18 months.

Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia has reiterated to Sky Sports News that he would consider representing England at international level.

The 31-year-old, who signed for the Gunners from Celta in 2004, was born in Spain but would qualify for UK citizenship next year.

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_4029825,00.html

Ok I predict he will score about four goals where he cuts in from the wing and hoofs it in the top corner

one will get saved by a handball from a cheating hun bastard.

BIG RID CERD RIGHT UP YER ARSE! GET TAE FUCK!

PLAYER OF THE YEAR, NOW HE'S A DICK!

That will never stop being funny ever.

it wont

it's the puffed-up righteousness of "COMMENTATOR'S EYE" that kills me tbh

tabloids rejoice as CiTEH complete signing of Vincent Kompany. hope he bags a brace on his debut.

Limited Kompany Fails To Impress On Debut

Shame they can't tempt Flo out of retirement to join him.

Bad Kompany

Dear Manchester City,

please to loan Kompany to Wolves for Kompany of Wolves headline, thanks.

Tim x

Please to sign Stephen Carr for Kompany Carr headlines?

Misery Loves Kompany
- Moyes expresses interest in Belgian as transfer deadline looms

FUCK OFF HALSEY

Spurs 0 - Sunderland 1

jol in

Phil Thompson just said that "on occasion, John Carew plays like Pele"

MIDO!

Jenas in

Liverpool are SHITE.

A BRILLIANT GOAL, WILL YE HAVE A FUCK OFF RAF

A

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

(RAFA OUT)

Never in doubt.

Last 3 games as bad as Souness era nadir.

lol football

wft Eboue is on the receiving end of a bad tackle and yet the free kick goes the other way?

Fàbregas starred in his own one-time only television programme, called "The Cesc Fàbregas Show: Nike Live", that aired on 19 May 2008. The programme was sponsored by Nike and was shown on Sky Sports. The show featured Fàbregas in several sketches with Arsenal teammates like Philippe Senderos and Nicklas Bendtner, as well as coach Arsène Wenger, Fàbregas' parents and Little Britain star Matt Lucas.

Why have I never seen this?

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/00PM0L7gy48Bi/610x.jpg

"Four candles"

I think I might have seen bits of that Fabregas thing, maybe on Soccer AM? It struck me as a very bad idea.

Anyway, here you go:

http://inside.nike.com/blogs/nikefootball-en_MY/2008/08/17/nike-live-the-cesc-fabregas-show-part-i

"When you see football all around the world, you see very few teams who play the way that we play.

So sick of Arsenal's organic David Cameron team. Just win a trophy ffs.

This is what happens when you have a manager under less pressure than any other football manager in the Western world.

Oh good god, Tony Pulis is genuinely the worst pundit in the rich history of bad punditry.

Lol @ Lee Dixon though. "I blame the captain, I blame Gallas".

Obviously it will never ever occur to anyone at Arsenal to possibly blame the manager.

One indifferent and another terrible start doesn't really mean its time to blame anyone. Don't worry about us Matt, we won't be imploding anytime soon.

yeah, arsenal are hardly the joke team of the league so far.

they have one defender at least.

hey, ramos.......

get out

I wonder if the title naming precedent that's been broken here will be what leads to Liverpool finally winning the league?

no. sacking benitez will be the catalyst. ramos to win league for pool 2010. or maybe martin jol, a man we should never have gotten rid of, imo

He truly was the people's elphantitis skulled Dutchman

a man of honour, integrity and rare tactical genius. i miss him.

shteve mclaaarn will nevah tek yewer plaaaaish, big man

I don't think it's crisis time for Arsenal either, they'll finish third, people will admire their football, business as usual. Lee Dixon was practically foaming at the mouth yesterday though.

gallas was as impressive for the fulham goal as ledley king was for both of sunderland's, though.

I saw Tottenham the other day. They were appalling, possibly the worst Tottenham team I have ever seen. A year ago we had four strikers: two outstanding, one dangerous, one lame and ludicrously overpriced. Now we have just one - the lame and ludicrously overpriced one. This canNOT be the way to run a football club. Forget all that talk about pre-season Bent: he's as useless a cipher, as empty a vessel as ever. This team has been catastrophically dismantled and ruined and with its current personnel is going nowhere but down.

Thing is, I don't think there's anything we could realistically have done about two of them - once Man Utd and Liverpool had declared their interest they were never going to want to stay. On the other hand selling Defoe, who wanted to stay and play, is looking like more of a short-sighted decision than ever.

The board meanwhile has been endlessly posturing over Berbatov's fee to the utter tedium of everyone involved when we could have sold him weeks ago and used the money to buy a replacement.

I'm not panicking yet though, new signings take time to gel and they will come good. I wish we didn't have Chelsea next though.

Still 10/1 on Moyes being the first manager out of a job this season. S'gotta be worth £50, surely?

That's madness, Moyes has been supported through worse starts than this. I'm still wondering about West Ham - how has the money dried up to such an extent that they're reduced to selling Anton Ferdinand to Sunderland for £8m at a time when their entire defence is injured?

Moyes just looks massively fed up though. As opposed to angry. I mean, he quits Everton within the next month, then he can take six months off before he gets appointed Rangers manager next May.

Current best odds:

Curbishley, Hughes: 5/1
Ince: 9/2
Moyes, Megson: 10/1
Keegan: 12/1
Mowbray, Benitez, Hodgson, Pulis: 14/1
Redknapp: 16/1
Southgate, Bruce: 20/1
Ramos: 25/1

ramos 25/1? better get in on that before chelsea hammer us.

thing is, were spurs to continue this way (midtabley rather than actual relegation scare i mean) i still don't think the board would lose their nerve with ramos. there's enough excuses to go round for the moment.

i don't think moyes'll flounce without another job on the table. he is milking it a bit as well, though he might not realise it.

reckon redknapp might throw a wobbly if something like kranjcar being sold agaisnt his will happened? that money trouble there seems even more sudden than west ham's.

i don't see the attack being spurs' main problem though- it still seems to be a red herring for the lack of any defensive midfield and a CB to help woodgate out.

we've conceded two each to boro and sunderland- teams that will hardly average that strike ratio over the rest of the season.

west ham's money trouble probably has something to do with spunking huge amounts on a treatment room full of talent this time last year.

actually, redknapp's probly secretly happy he can give it the violins again. del boy and that. him ending up at spurs within the next 18 months is def worth a punt though.

spurs "only need" this and this every year. whatevs.

adel taraabt won't get a bloody game 08/09

spurs "only need" this and this every year. whatevs.

-- r|t|c, Monday, 25 August 2008 14:24 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Liverpool as well.

cor adel hasnt even been given a number this season! forza flavio's chequebook already.

Spaniard refuses to give Muslim work, story at 10.

Decent odds on Gary Megson though.

spurs "only need" this and this every year. whatevs.

-- r|t|c, 25 August 2008 13:24 (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

true, but it's the SAME FUC*IN POSITIONS every year. this doesn't mnake it any easier to stomach.

cry me a river, league cup champions

yeah true, good times at the lane really.

ramos out.

The Tottenham squad that won the League Cup was a lot better than the one now starting a new season. It had two great strikers, who played well together. This one has no strikers. Sure defence or anything could be improved, but no the attack's not a red herring. The attack is what has been destroyed, and the (very expensive) team is now like a turkey, or a cockerel, with its head cut off. It's no longer a team at all.

It is also absolutely true that Taraabt's exclusion is a scandal. He looked among our most talented players in the last two years.

btw losing your only two games to relatively meagre opposition is not mid-table form.

Spurs in totally underestimating competent opposition shocker.

Also, the attack was not "destroyed", they wanted to leave, you may remember reading one or two news stories about it over the course of the summer. It's not like Ramos is sitting there going "I know, I'll sell our two best strikers and then just not bother to sign any replacements, and yeah lets not bother with defending either". There's a week to go until the transfer deadline, I'm not going to get hysterical.

Adel Taarabt should be farmed off to West Brom or somewhere on loan, where hopefully he'll learn how to pass to someone after fannydangling up and down the wing for a bit.

It shouldn't be a question of over or underestimating opposition: you should go out and play 100% and try to beat all opposition.

But compared to the really tough teams in this league, what we have played so far ought to be a chance of points. How would Saturday's Spurs cope vs any of the big 4, or Villa? They are not a proper team at the moment; they're like a house without a roof or a car without wheels.

I also remember reading some news stories about some club wanting to sign a Portuguese winger off Manchester United, and he doesn't seem to have gone anywhere.

What players do you think Tottenham can sign in the next week that will adequately replace the ones who have gone?

stephen carr, sol campbell

I also remember reading some news stories about some club wanting to sign a Portuguese winger off Manchester United, and he doesn't seem to have gone anywhere.

To hazard a guess, perhaps Manchester United have slightly more cards in their hand when it comes to negotiating with players and agents, what with being one of the richest and most powerful clubs in the world and all. It remains to be seen how Ronaldo behaves when he comes back from injury but I'm guessing he'll be a diminished force.

I've been wanting us to sign Diego Milito all summer but that doesn't look like happening now. Don't particularly want Arshavin either as we don't really need any more creative attacking midfielders. Perhaps part of the problem is Spurs have been trying to replace like-for-like and sign absolute top-rated strikers when we'd have been better off trying to find a Yakubu or a Martins or some other big lad who can be relied upon to regularly lash them in. Comolli out.

Comolli out.

-- Matt DC, 25 August 2008 15:47 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

jesus christ but that's hasty. where's the dignity? give the man a fair crack.

Or maybe Spurs fans should look at the various teams who are in a considerably worse position than us, stop whining, and consider this a team that's half-built rather than half-destroyed.

Perhaps part of the problem is Spurs have been trying to replace like-for-like and sign absolute top-rated strikers when we'd have been better off trying to find a Yakubu or a Martins or some other big lad who can be relied upon to regularly lash them in. Comolli out.

-- Matt DC, Monday, 25 August 2008 16:47 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

DARREN BENT TICKED ALL THOSE BOXES ALREADY YOU IMPOSSIBLE FOOLS

What teams?

Where do you get off flinging this vitriol at fans of the same club as you, who have been following their defeats and debacles for decades and now pay a ton of cash to sit and watch probably the worst team to emerge in all that time?

Seeing as there is only a week of transfers to go, the other half of your building project doesn't seem likely to be completed in a hurry.

Yeah I sort of meant not Darren Bent.

(xpost)

I get off at Seven Sisters and get a bus up the road. But no, I am poking mild fun rather than flinging vitriol at people who lose all sense of perspective following a couple of defeats. When you consider that our Chairman isn't about to be arrested, we are not completely strapped for cash, laden with debt, or facing a long struggle just to stay in the Premiership, things are really not that bad.

It's possible this team could turn out to be worse than David Pleat's in 2003 or Gerry Francis's in 1997, but I doubt it, and I'm certainly not going to proclaim that after a couple of defeats.

(I'm also trying to pre-empt the inevitable ARGH STFU SPURS FANS post which should arrive any time now).

ARGH STFU SPURS FANS

-- Matt DC, Monday, 25 August 2008 17:12 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.diggersrealm.com/mt/archives/20060801/mel-gibson-mugshot.jpg

Ah, ffs:

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2007/10/16-22/mel_gibson_mug_shot_grandpa.jpg

It's possible this team could turn out to be worse than David Pleat's in 2003 or Gerry Francis's in 1997, but I doubt it

what about Ardiles' or Gross' or Hoddle's?

It's true, as a club (rather than team) we appear to be in a better position than Manchester City, though they didn't seem to do too badly on the pitch yesterday.

To compare us to Stoke / WBA / Hull City seems a red herring. If our consolation is that we're more likely to survive than them, then, given our ridiculous outlay, we have already failed.

I gather that Liverpool have some off-field problems. But they also seem almost certain to be top 4 again and have just acquired our best player. I don't think we can claim to be in a better position than them.

I have watched a lot of flawed and frustrating Tottenham teams over the years - and you might as well add Gross's (as Blueski now does), which might have been the weakest of all. But those teams always had strikers in them, and benefited from that very ordinary fact. The current team doesn't.

DC is right, though, that Ronaldo could come back diminished, which would be evidence against the idea of holding out and holding on to disaffected players.

Eriksson's City did OK with no strikers, and look what happened to them (um)

Glenn Hoddle's Tottenham had good spells and good performances. I can remember a 4-1 vs Fulham, a 6-0 vs Bolton in the cup, that kind of thing. They actually *passed* the ball, at times, as well as any Tottenham side I have ever seen.

Ardiles' was a different animal, almost as unbalanced as the current team - but actually not really: the current midfield is all attacking midfielders, really, which is almost as unbalanced as not having any strikers.

Blueski, you're right (if I understand you) - there is a tendency away from playing strikers at all, or towards playing as few as possible. I think Ramos might want to do this, and I think it is a mistake if he does.

For all this talk of "no strikers = the future", how many teams has this actually worked for? Man Utd for half a season, Roma when Totti gets crocked... that's it, right?

Agreed: it may work for them, but it won't work for us.

[They actually *passed* the ball, at times, as well as any Tottenham side I have ever seen.]
-- well, apart from the one with Glenn Hoddle in it. And perhaps the one that retained Waddle up to summer 1989 or so.

Doesn't "no strikers = the future" just mean "we are papering over the cracks as best we can"?

Speaking of papering over the cracks, if Tottenham don't sign another striker this week, I'm thinking a 4-5-1/4-3-3 with Jamie O'Hara sitting and doing a simple job in front of the back four would be the best way forward. Would let everyone else push forward a bit more and stop other teams just running through the midfield in the way Boro did last weekend.

Do we not have one single unknown striker outside the first team - some 18-year-old from Enfield or the like? It is hard to believe; we have always had a sad surplus of such people in the past. If we do, then that player should be picked ahead of Bent, who should be sold to anyone who'll take him.

I can never tell what O'Hara is primarily about, or for, but tend to agree that he could do a job - yes, stick him in as holding player.

Huddlestone did improve things the other day: his touch, time on the ball, passing raised the standard. But all forward passes went to Bent who is a hole in the air. Dos Santos doesn't like a full-blown striker either.

So maybe it could be:

Gomes

Zokora (was OK - though Chimbonda is a better rb of course)
Woodgate, Dawson, Bale (seemed redundant in midfield)

Bentley, Jenas, O'Hara (holding), Modric, Lennon

[unknown 6'5" 18-year-old from Colchester]

Dos Santos is a left-winger really and I'd prefer him in that position over Lennon. Put Hutton at RB as well when he gets back.

FANTASY FOOTBALL UPDATE

I can't remember him making a single ILX post, but Al*n R*lph is YOUR new Fantasy Football leader. His Useful Fools, rather than aiding Communism in 1930s America, have instead shot to a 14 point lead thanks to a 64 week haul, mainly aided by his captain Deco picking up 22 points, and a sturdy performance from sturdy faced midfielder Jimmy Bullard on 6.

D*vid M*lthouse's fantastically named "Dave" are second (12 points for Carew), and my Jim Glass Heroes endure a dreadful week in third (top scorer Cech with 7).

Team of the week are w*lliam H*sketh's "taj mahal travellers", 77 points in total thanks to another Deco captaincy, and Joleon Lescott's 8.

Your current wooden spoons are W*lliam Christ*nsen's "TIME FOR THE SEXING" who have 45 points over all, and had seven players this week score either 0 or 1 point.

Does anyone have Manchester United's Top Scorer Darren Fletcher in their team?

too much spurs talk on this board. ramos out.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article4602718.ece?token=null&offset;=0&page;=1

'José Mourinho had a private theory on why Andriy Shevchenko flopped at Chelsea. He would not voice it publicly and, if you had heard it, you would know why. It will be interesting to see if the Ukraine striker now regains his form after his return to AC Milan.'

fookin fishwife samuel

In other news, Milan have finally secured their big summer signing, the one they've been trailing all summer. This can only harm the prospects of every team that has to play Arsenal this season.

http://d.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/ng/sp/empics/20080301/19/195629280-soccer-barclays-premier-league-arsenal-v-aston-villa-emirates-stadium.jpg

Farewell.

Milan are so fucked

In response to upthread, Al*n R*lph is me.

Loved you on The Apprentice.

Jeeeehms Milnoh has handed in a fookin transfer request

off to villa then?

probably, yeah

you never know when Liverpool are gonna pop up with a bid of £18.50 though

BARRY IS STAYING AT VILLA

THANK GOD WE CAN FINALLY TEMPORARILY DRAW A LINE UNDER THIS ONE

tell me again on sept 2nd.

jesus berbatov, will ye just away, please. i don't care if it's for a pair of man united socks and a used teabag at this stage.

8 million british pounds for Anton Ferdinand?

Quinn needs to show some more ambition and bring David O'Leary in to get this job done right.

Someone is bound to put in a beyond cheeky bid for the really-quite-overrated Dean Ashton any minute now.

8 million british pounds for Anton Ferdinand?

when keano said he'd be branching out from players that he'd actually trained with as a player, ijust kinda assumed he meant further than next-of-kin

dean ashton isn't over-rated, he really is very good for the 6-7 matches a season that he manages to complete.

BBC website now claiming Spurs are in both for Pavlyuchenko and Arshavin, with the former seeming almost certain. Both Russians competing for this year's coveted New Sergei Rebrov tag would be awesome.

Pavly most inevitable transfer ever. as soon as he scored against Greece it seemed a foregone conclusion.

So, SWP back at Citeh, then.

£12M net gain for Citeh, not a bad bit of business, that.

pavlyuchenko might just fit the bill though.

arshavin? seems a luxury for the type of money we're looking at, even with 4-5-1.

12m profit on SWP, and hardly any wear and tear on him either in the intervening period. good work citeh. xpost

I don't think you need Arshavin if you've already got Modric

Fucking stupid move for SWP mind. Was there really no one else who wanted to buy him?

The more I think about it the more I think buying Arsh and Pavyl together could be a masterstroke. It takes ages to build up that kind of understanding with strikers. Intrigued about these Veloso reports as well.

Only if they can play in the Premiership of course, there aren't really any players who have done well in both the Prem and the Russian league. Well except Vidic, which is quite a big exception.

Intrigued about these Veloso reports as well.

Read that as veloci raptors :)

Henrik's back on the market. One last go at Champions League football, Henrik? Please?

Um, with us. Not Liverpool/Chelsea/Man U/Arse. Cheers.

My guesses would be Arsenal, West Ham, Sunderland. Wenger's been talking about having another surprise signing up his sleeve since the Silvestre deal.

larsson to play where though? DM!!?

not bad for an old man
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zpJN-eiGA1o

I love him, please come back, I have revised my "people should never return to their old club" thing after an hour of watching the prodigal Shaun on Saturday, and Henrik doesn't count anyway because he's Henrik and I love him.

Louis Saha to Everton by the looks of things.

My guesses would be Arsenal, West Ham, Sunderland. Wenger's been talking about having another surprise signing up his sleeve since the Silvestre deal.

-- Matt DC, Thursday, 28 August 2008 15:32 (Yesterday) Link

the other surprise is quinton fortune, obv

Michael Clegg!

saha to everton looks good on paper, presumably the same paper that his legs are constructed from.

bilic to west ham gaining inevitable momentum.

West Ham owners presumably thinking that because he's from Eastern Europe, that means he will work for next to no money.

and is evil.

Saha is obviously a sympathy transfer. SAF must've been feeling sorry for his chum who was struggling to sign anyone. surprised Moyes didn't try to get him on season-long loan first tho.

anyone actually heard of Ecuadorian midfield powerhouse Segundo Castillo? has he got the superlative on-the-ball skills and uncanny eye for a pass needed to replace gifted playmaker Lee Carsley?

Think he went to Blackburn earlier in the summer thinking he was getting a three year contract (and his agent thought they were in the UEFA cup for some reason), was told he was only getting a trial and then the move broke down amidst suspicious accusations of an attitude problem

apparently he's good though

It must feel good to be signing for Everton just a few days after Moyes's "I tried and failed to get decent players in, now I'm just going to sign any old crud because all my current lovely boys are broken" outburst.

attitude problem isn't a problem. Moyes will ride him hard and break him. Apparently most of Everton's injuries are down to Moyes going Begbie on someone. That's the rumour i heard, anyway.

I heard a rumour that most of West Ham's injuries are down to the fact that their players are all old cripples

I heard a rumour that most of Man City's injuries were retribution from the Lord for them and their supporters' complicity in the spotty human rights records of their Thai owner

I heard a rumour that most of Newcastle's injuries were caused by Kevin Keegan's legendary motivational prowess making the players feel so tall that their legs were destroyed by the extra imaginary weight

we must go to the same hairdresser

I heard a rumour that popular eggs-for-cheekbones England under 21 mainstay Jems "James Milner" Mil-noh will have a medical at Aston Villa's Lourdes training ground this afternoon

you know it's time for an ambition infusion when you're years of campaigning to move sideways to Villa are finally paying off. you know he's going to be utter toilet now. it's a footballing inevitability.

Nonsense, his cross completion will undoubtedly spiral into double figures under John Robertson's expert tutelage

For his career, I mean

I remember a really promising young player at Leeds United callled James Milner. I wonder what happened to him?

Who was the last player to have transferred to Newcastle and improved? Andy Cole maybe?

Craig Bellamy improved from being a fucking useless lazy cunt who got us relegated to someone who didn't just stand near the sideline pouting for 90 minutes. did i mention he's a cunt?

Shay Given is the only possible answer to that question

Why is he still at Newcastle anyway?

Does Nobby Solano precede Shay Given?

Michael Owen certainly got better

AT BEING A FUCKING CRIPPLE

He was pretty good at that when he was at Real Madrid, to be fair.

He was pretty good at Liverpool as well.

I'd say Scott Parker had a better time of it there than he did at Chelsea.

Oh, and Stoke have decided today's a good day to sneak out the news that they've signed Ibrahima Sonko.

More activity!

Blackburn have signed Mark Bunn from Northampton.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit?

(surely 'cake'?)

Anyway, this and Keith Andrews in two days - is Ince attempting a larger-scale replication of Mark Stimson's transfer policy at Gillingham last season, bringing in players he knows from lower divisions? Cos that didn't really work for them...

i'm sure there is a Bunn from Northampton/Passantino is fat gag in there somewhere.

ricky cakes amirite

post here whenever you eat a footballer

OMG RORY DELAP SO TASTY

HAVE STOMACH CRAMPS AFTER EATING GRETAR STEINSSON :(

custos tribute month!

Surely with all the continued trouble surrounding the new stadium for Liverpool FC, it is time that the Government stepped in and not only ensured and provided funding, but swept away planning issues to make certain the club, the City, indeed, the English game has the stadium which it so clearly deserves?

No-one, not even the most cynical F365 correspondant, can argue against the fact that Anfield is the true Cathedral of world soccer, a place where Gods have been born, captivated crowds have been converted and any man not born a Scouser lives for the rest of his days wishing that he was one.

A redeveloped ground, an "Anfield II" if you will, would seal the nations love affair with the club, its legend, its characters, its place in the fabric of Britain. When we won our Champions League qualifier earlier this week, I could hear the collective sigh of relief around the nation loud and clear-the club and crowd doing their bit for England again, with Liverpool FC, matches are like a Royal Wedding, charm, excitement, anticipation-and, when televised, watched in awe by a rapt congregation.

So, for the club to be scratching around for funds and with worries about planning becoming a tiresome issue, I call upon the Government and authorities to sidestep the red tape for the real red army and build us a ground that will forever leave those not converted to the cause fighting each other to join, and a ground that will top any that has ever been built before.

Everyone knows it makes sense. When do we start?

Alan Waddle

F365 mailbox contribution this afternoon.

Perhaps they could groundshare with Kirby Tesco FC.

(Kirkby, even)

kirkby's dreamland

speaking of KTFC, the transfer wire is going crazy at Goodison after countless false starts. work permit wrangling going on regarding loan signing (naturally) of greased-lightning winger/striker Victor Obinna from feeder club Internazionale. kids on wikipedia getting carried away and already trying to report it as a done deal. some with more style than others:

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Victor_Nsofor_Obinna&diff=prev&oldid=234750362

lol was that u

no, honest injun. that's a class above my efforts.

anyone here think there's still a chance at all that we can get moutinho?

not in 18 million years

Newcastle are apparently poised to sign former Tottenham left back and big hulking loser Timothee 'Timmy' Atouba, who himself is set to become the player so shit, Martin Jol sold him twice. We need this man back in the Premiership.

I'm still getting over Paul Ince signing all his mates. But yeah, Newcastle still bringing the best funnies. According to the paper some 17 year-old called Nile Ranger might get a game today.

He's at Newcastle now? He's one of our old lads, apparently he was very good, quite pacy and such - I was wondering why he'd disappeared from our squad list...

He's the lesser-known John Bostock.

Well, according to Newcy fan forums, he was released by us and had just got out of a young offenders' institute. This is his MySpace.

Onz 26 Aug 2008 20:19

Big Movements. Sitting Beside Man Like Owen Tonight.

A quick glance at the scores suggests Spurs are bottom of the league and the only team with no points.

3-0 loss to Portsmouth at home?! What the fuck?

Arsenal 2 Newcastle 0.

Arsenal with 73% of the possession so far, according to Setanta.

Poor King Kev, poor NUFC.
And poor everyone who have to see Liverpool matches. This team is ridiculously below-par, Villa should have killed 'em today.

Man U couldn't score goals for toffos at the start of last season either. maybe they played a bit better tho i dunno.

can't even beat fuckin Liverpool, MON out

Man City sold to some fit and proper arms dealers from Abu Dhabi by the looks of things. Lolololol.

They're basically gonna be playing their home games underneath a volcano by Christmas.

gah I had £10 on M Bison

Dr Al-Fahim and Thaksin's adviser, Pairoj Piempongsant, were photographed posing with a City shirt and signing documents.

The ADUG statement claimed that the deal gave it "all management rights" over City, while Thaksin would become honorary president of the club "without any administrative responsibilities".

Dr Al-Fahim promised to "solve all the club problems" and "clear any pending payments" as well as "bringing the best football players in the world" to City.

The statement also said City would qualify for the Champions League in the 2009/10 season.

However, BBC Sport understands that ADUG has only signed a memorandum of understanding - essentially a gentleman's agreement - with City.

Remind me to bump this thread in 2009 when incoming City Chairman Robert Mugabe promises to bring Kaka to Eastlands.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1935000/images/_1935038_hoog300.jpg

"Mark Hughes is a fantastic manager and all my appointment of Terry Venables as Director of Football will do is free him more time up to work with the players themselves"

lol everything

Man City get Robinho for £32 million ha ha.

Bookies have stopped taking bets on KK being the winner of the league sack race.

I bet the odds on Mark Hughes have been slashed over the last 24hrs. I can't wait until Robinho goes missing against the likes of Sunderland and Wigan and gets dropped.

I heard a rumour that most of Man City's injuries were retribution from the Lord for them and their supporters' complicity in the spotty human rights records of their Thai owner

Great work, Jesus

Day after the transfer deadline, classic Newcastle timing. 16/1 for the drop as we speak, same as Everton and Man City

RIP Koogan

They're gonna give Bobby Robson a farewell gig, aren't they?

David Moyes could be an outside punt