Fat girls vs. skinny girls thread for ETHAN

Personally, I don't really care whether a girl is fat or skinny - I don't really look at that sort of thing.

this sounds like a safe and sensible answer, but if i were to go home tonight and declare this then i would probably get killed. the official line will always have to be: girlfriend shaped girls= classic, any other shape of girl=dud

Well, Kevan, I don't have to worry about the girlfriend thing, so I can be an Equal Opportunity Lover of the Female Form.

I would touch on the whole "people being insecure about another's feelings for them depsite plenty of proof of said feelings, you insecure schlub" thing, but I've been on both sides, and think it's an aspect of serious relationships that can't be avoided.

But what if you're not a cool person. That's even harder to change. People are very prejudiced about boring and stupid people.

N.B. I am a very cool person. I'm just really caring too.

Um, anyhow, I will follow the company line and not step on any toes. Be advised that I personally would like to be very, very skinny. That does not mean I want that in other people necessarily, people can be attractive in any size depending on many factors.

two points:

1) i'm sorry if me (jokingly) prompting the start of this thread has made anyone feel bad. i didn't think it would turn out so weird and awkward, really.

2) melissa, you look fine. not that you should give up on trying to be healthier, but you certainly shouldn't feel bad about yourself right now.

OK, that might not completely make sense, I can't even see any of the sentences I wrote all at once.

Anyway, if it's like a scale (it's not) then I would come down somewhere nearer the "fat girls" end of it. Not sure if as far down it as Tom seems to prefer ("prefer" in his "makes you more likely to be fancied by Tom" sense), but I'm not too clear on the sizes and really I do mean not too sure, as in unsure. And as for Emma's question, I would put very curvy (?) girls over in my "Josh approved" column along with various-curvy bigger ones.

Two things. 1) You can also find someone unattractive and then just all of the sudden BE ATTRACTED to them. And I mean for no reason to do with personality. For instance, I used to find Lucy Liu just hideous...I was watching her on Saturday Night Live and suddenly was thinking, "Hmm, she's quite pretty." Aside from maybe wearing different outfits or proving a competent sketch actress, she hadn't "changed" at all since I first saw her in Ally McBeal ads or wherever. 2) I like all kinds of girls. I think Kate Moss is hot, I've seen 500 pound women I thought were hot, so I have no "guilt" there. The only thing I feel bad about as a guy is generally finding young women hotter than older...but once again, I don't "set out" to, that is just my (and many others') reaction. Mind you, there are exceptions; I think the 50-yr-old-plus Helen Mirren is va-va-voom...

I enjoy food too, I just don't feel the need to eat it nonstop. Though I will put forth that I have a serious issue that needs treatment and I am not going to really put forth an opinion on the matter of weight/weight loss at this time.

1) i constantly annoy my boyfiend and all my friends by moaning about my weight whilst at the same time maintaining that being worried about weight is a patriarchal strategy to keep women down and silent. in one breath i will nearly cry about not looking like kate moss whilst refusing to join a gym, ever

and

melissa w you are BEAUTIFUL. what ally said about general health and that stands for everyone ever - god knows i have no real right to complain about my body when all i'm willing to feed it at the moment is curry and sherry - but from what you were saying i was expecting some stay-puft marshmallow man-type creature. the exclamation i let out was along the lines of "what's she talking about, she's gorgeous!" and this can be attested to by ricky t cos he's just on the sofa behind me. whatever cushing's disease is (and i shall do some research) you're goddam better looking than bloody jennifer anniston et al. and that's the truth. so please don't worry so much - that in itself will only have a detrimental effect on your wellbeing.

(ahem) i'm fat. i was born fat, am currently and will continue to be living fat, and will, most likely, die fat. i VERY RECENTLY came to terms with the word 'fat', disempowered it, blah blah blah, and can now say that i am comfortable with not only the word, but with the fact that the word describes ME, and that means it's whatever i make it mean. Then most important part of that whole process was differtentiating(sp?) being fat, and dating while fat. if you asked me five years ago what my least favorite part of being fat was, it would have been that, simply put, boys dont like fat girls. and the ones who do take a long time to admit it. around 30 years or so, according to my research. five years ago for me, was high school, by the way. and i was by FAR at my heaviest during those four years. since then, i've lost around fifty or so pounds, through no fault of my own, mind you.( i just moved off a bus line, and walked a little more often. baffling.) Yet, at my heaviest, i had SO FUCKING MANY FRIENDS. i had friends, and i was cool. i was popular at my high school, which was hard to be, let me tell you. i never went to class, because my social calendar was so full of teenage drama and boyfriends and getting drunk and parties and what have you, which caused me to drop out, move into my own place, and get a job, which only made me more "cool", in the eyes of the kids i hung out with. i realize this now, looking at pictures of myself and my friends back then. i WAS cool, i was funny, i painted pretty pictures and typed up my zine and had boyfriends who kissed me in public. the fact that i was fat wasn't a non-issue at all. it was a catalyst for everything i liked about myself. my sense of humor, my anger, my creativity. and those were the reasons why people, including boys, liked me. now, i'm a little older, a lot more well read, back in school, and, like i said, a bit smaller. a lot, if you ask my mom. i guess she would know. i'm closer in age to those elusive boys who've come to terms with the fact that they like fat girls, AND, like i mentioned, i can now SAY that i'm fat, and like what that means. so, you'd think i'd be dating. but FUCK no. for a number of reasons, of course, but cheif among them being: i'm nowhere NEAR as confident as i was five years ago. due to personal shit that has nothing to do with my weight, i'm not as outgoing, i dont paint as much, i stopped writing almost completley, and it affects my personality greatly. I've always fancied myself an observer. i think i have a few things figured out about the world that most people don't, simply becuase i sat back and just watched how things work, how people act, et cetera. the shittiest part about being that way, is when you have to turn it on YOUR life, and figure out why things happen to YOU. so, i can say with a tiny bit of experience, and authority( i guess), that it's personality that matters to guys. as trite as that is, it's how you act, if you can take a joke, if you can think of a better one, if you have something to say, if you make the guy think.

now i have to remember how to do all that.

This is true. Not 100% true, but true. The little-noted flipside of the idea that 'guys' are horny roving-eye dogs who will ogle and pant after girls even if they're with someone, is that a lot of guys also have a massive capacity to fancy almost anyone.

P.S.- Melissa rocks!

post your pic to the picture thread and we can all worship your beauty, (all I managed to do with my pic was shock stevo but its worth a try)

AND ITS MINE.

Where are all these "very young perfect irish girls".

I don't mean that in a Fred West way.

Much.

I just thought I'd try and make it seem like there was a reason to mention Irish.

I'm so proud of my fantastic country and all.

The thing I don't get is how Ireland is such a big island but has less people than even New Zealand. It's really strange. I mean, I know lots of them moved to Aus, NZ and America a century or two ago, but is a whole heap of the country inhabitable or something?

I have found out that I have not gained weight like I thought but rather have lost three pounds since I last went to the gyno, I am happy about this.

Em

Besides, we'll all be fat someday!!!

No, we won't.

no it's not.

and therefore we prove, once and for all, that physical beauty is a purely relative concept, huzzah!

(and it was a relief to finally have it done with, let me tell you buddy.)

But Jess, it's not physical beauty we're talking about. I didn't say that somebody at this height and weight couldn't be beautiful. All I said was that 5'4" 170 lbs indicates an overweight person. That's not subjective, simply fact.

ps i did not write this it was my friend

:) hehe REGINA!

Oi. I still like the girl who picked 126 as the limit for overweight. Why 126? Why not 125?

Quite frankly, I probably WOULD consider someone who is 5'9 (one inch taller than me) and 180 (almost 50 lbs heavier than me) quite large. Whether that makes them unattractive or attractive is not a relevant point to that statement. This is what I don't like about all these types of discussion: calling someone heavy/large is NOT a value judgement on their physical attractiveness necessarily, and I hate it that you can't say "Camryn Manheim is fat" without freaking out the Big Beautiful Women (TM) community. Camryn Manheim IS fat. Any doctor will tell you that. Being fat/thin and being attractive are two different not necessarily related things and the sooner people can reconcile that in their heads the sooner everyone will be much happier and stop getting bloody offended.

180 is considered large for a woman on average - this isn't a value judgement, go to the bloody doctor. Obviously the amount of muscle, bone, etc that your girlfriend has will change the judgement healthwise, and obviously it doesn't affect whether or not XY and Z person will find her attractive.

I just find it very fucking ironic that we are allowed to have a thread where it's been said - more than once - that thin women are unhappy, forcing themselves to be that way, "I wouldn't look at someone under X weight", etc - but pointing out that such and such weight IS considered overweight is like murdering the family dog. That's why I hate this sort of discussion. It's alright to call Lara Flynn Boyle Skeletor but it's insensitive to call Rosie O'Donnell cowface. I hate that - "fat is the last prejudice" - more like any body size is the last prejudice.

To sum up: stating that someone is factually overweight or underweight doesn't necessarily equate with saying someone is ugly. Facts are facts, and obviously in this case there are variables involved but not to the extent where one can just blow off the idea.

But people are doing this surely when they call Lara Flynn Boyle skeletor? They're also doing this when they list celebrities they fancy in the "who do you fancy" thread and they're all average weight or thin, of course.

It's surely not fair to say that just because all the celebs someone lists are thin, they are making a statement that they like thin people. I mean theres alot more to a person than their weight.

Like their face and their breasts for example, hur hur.

Seriously though you'd need to come up with multpile common traits in all the celebs someone named for it to seem like a statement of their actual taste.

At the risk of sounding smart arsed, isn't the problem, and the reason all these "weight" threads start arguments to do with the fact that we have never really defined the boundaries of attraction properly.

Er I'm not sure if that makes sense but it seems to do so to me.

Ally has a cogent point, here. Being diagnosed as overweight by a doctor is very different than being called overweight "culturally". I'm certainly overweight as far as my height is concerned, but no one has ever hinted that I'm overweight "on da streets".

Apologies for the Susan Powter-ness of this, but it's true. You can be happy and healthy. You can be overweight and happy. Eventually though, you can't be overweight and healthy. Further down, you can't be unhealthy and happy.

That said, someone who's slightly overweight all their lives will most likely be just fine. And while I'll never cast judgement over someone who's comfortable being short and 300 pounds and is a chain smoker, that becomes a health problem.. If I like that person enough, I'll definitely say something about it.

140 lbs. for a shorter woman may be technically overweight -- but still, as far as a local news report on "The lives of Obese women vs. Thin Women" go, I have little faith it will dwell on anything else other than forcing home the point that women should be constantly conscious of fitting into a culturally acceptable weight range.

men are not judged to be fat the same way women are - they tend to be given more leeway where they're interpreted as "big", not "fat" (ie given a more positive spin). which may have something to do with you not being considered overweight by yr friends or general public or whatever. also i think it should be acknowledged that doctors are/have been prejudiced against fatness. how could i trust doctors when they seem to prescribe shit like xenical much too widely (i'm dubious of it's benefits at all).

But anyway, Brian thank you for clearing up my point. I also don't think you look overweight, so there you go. And another good point is being slightly overweight is actually better for you than yo- yo dieting or starving yourself to lose the extra 10-15lbs, so the "scales" doctors use to measure are slideable, and doctors realize this. It's just that once you get over that 15lb, 20 if you're pushing it, limit that it becomes unhealthy. If someone's happy that way, that's great, but it doesn't make it unhealthy, just like I'm perfectly happy smoking but I'd never claim it was good for me.

i hope to never live on your planet.

B-but... what if they've got a terrible personality?

I love the way in Shallow Hal there is a direct less/more correlation between beauty and personality.

Damn! that makes me mediocre in every way!

(i love this thread)

Which is...?

fatter furry belly breasts fat heavy

tall skinny woman mad max

fox8.com

o.m.g nita pic

skinny w/ fat ass

Helen Mirren hips

for medium wieght photos of girls

fat girls once thin

fancy fat girls

fat girls fucking skinny guys

Kate waist fat shock

"super low rise pants"

(And loads of "skinny girls")

Actually, I would just settle for being fancy.

Life is very boring and without sensuality if you restrict yourself all the time, get over it and eat a cake.

-- Erik (diamonds2002@hotmail.com), June 25th, 2002.

In all seriousness, this was my favorite ILE exchange of all time.

Then stop eating cake.

I don't think your methodology works.

Really in the end what happens is this; Girl restricts weight gaining foods, girl ignores cravings, girl ignores her body, two weeks later girl finds out she has cancer, angry angry cancer.

& about this

what would you consider a girl that is 137 lbs and 5 foot 7.5 ?
-- krista v. (yhsprettykitt...), June 25th, 2002.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would call you a piece of ass.

-- Erik (diamonds200...), June 25th, 2002.

In all seriousness, this was my favorite ILE exchange of all time.

-- felicity (felicityredwel...) (webmail), January 22nd, 2003 12:52 PM. (felicity) (link)

Yeah, it's cute but it's also irritating because apart from height & weight he knows nothing about the girl & I know that he was just soothing petty neurosis, or attention seeking or whatever the hell it was, but what if she had no legs & no arms & was only a 5'7 jiggling abdomen with a brain attached by some twine. You never know. Maybe that is his thing, but how can he call that from those values?

ha ha, j/k - I agree.

But doesn't that make a great insult?

It reminds me for some reason of this Doonesbury cartoon where Lacey Davenport goes to like her 50th college reunion and says something kind of wistful to the bartender about how she wonders if a young man will ever look at her again like they did back when she was young. The bartender (who is Mark) stops polishing the glass he is polishing and gives her, you know, kind of a "look" like he is checking her out.

So I found erik's post quite poignant, in a way. It's so clearly contrived that it's almost sweet.

I just opened my blinds to see a fat girl chasing a skinny guy down the sidewalk past my window. Both had ear-to-ear grins and were running full-on, arms-pumping, knees-to-chest. I'd kinda like to see this in slo-mo and soundtracked with "What a Wonderful World."

gasps

for air

But a fat guy chasing a skinny girl, that would be hilarious

Especially sped up and to the tune of "Yakety Sax."