The inevitable 'Twilight' thread

So there's these books and this movie coming out.

Guy who plays the vampire boyfriend speaks:

“It is bizarre,” he said. “People come from three states away and walk up to you trembling. I feel that I am at a disadvantage here because I can’t provide this mystical thing that they came for in the two seconds we have.”

A local radio D.J. fed him written questions from the audience, but his answers were buried by screaming.

“Do you guys care about the questions, or do you just want to talk about nothing?” Mr. Pattinson asked.

A young woman in a shirt emblazoned with the Cullen family crest spoke for many: “We just want to look at you.”

Forks, Washington, eh? I have been there. It would be hard to imagine a less romantic place. The town used to be full of loggers, who strip-mined the hills around town to feed the maw of the sawmill. Then they ran out of trees and started reaping a harvest of drunks and wife-beaters.

fuck this movie with knives

The books are Mormon teenage vampyre pr0n-irrific dreck (though okay for a flight) and I'm sure the theaters will be filled with shrieking hysterical girls, so will avoid this at all costs.

We spent a weekend over in Forks earlier this year and by chance rented the house Meyer stays in when she visits the area for "research".

most sinister scare quotes ever

I kind of like how Robert Pattinson openly hates this movie and has called out Stephanie Meyer for being a psycho:

When I read it, it seemed like (grimaces) I was convinced that ... Stephenie was ... convinced that she was Bella, and uh, and you, it wasn't, it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published, like reading her ... her sort of sexual fantasy about some -- especially when she says that it was based on a dream, and it's like, "Oh, then I had a dream about this really sexy guy" and she just writes this book about it, and there's some things about Edward that are just so specific that it's like, I was just convinced that, that this woman is mad, she's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation and I -- sometimes you, like, feel uncomfortable reading this thing

I like reading Fandom Wank, so I have been aware of the books/movie for a while because it seems like one big crazy magnet.

Sense the mystery with Paramore:

hahaha that is almost as good as Kelly Clarkson on the press junket for "From Justin To Kelly" openly begging people not to go see the movie but to just send their kids in and go do something fun

Yeah, Pattinson's already my hero in all this, between that and the NYT quotes.

I am convinced this movie is going to be hilarious though, so when it comes to the local dollar theater I'm definitely going to see it.

Weird soundtrack -- does Pattinson have a song on this or is that some dialogue snippet?

----

1. Supermassive Black Hole -- Muse
2. Decode -- Paramore
3. Full Moon -- The Black Ghosts
4. Leave Out All The Rest -- Linkin Park
5. Spotlight [Twilight Mix] -- Mutemath
6. Go All The Way [Into the Twilight] -- Perry Farrell
7. Tremble For My Beloved -- Collective Soul
8. I Caught Myself -- Paramore
9. Eyes On Fire -- Blue Foundation
10. Never Think -- Rob Pattinson
11. Flightless Bird, American Mouth -- Iron & Wine
12. Bella's Lullaby -- Carter Burwell

in the shadows, boy meets man

Mormon teenage vampyre pr0n-irrific dreck

wait, are these books actually Mormon somehow? i kind of wish ilx had never alerted me to their existence.

i was wondering the same thing -- what is mormon-y about them? i knew of their existence but only because the mister is a YA reviews editor and he has a NO MORE VAMPIRES policy in full effect.

in the shadows, boy meets man

now i have this song in my head. i never realized how creepy it is!

looool at these books

i wonder if robert pattinson and stephanie meyer ever have to interact. awkward.

what's the connection between this and katy perry? white girls are on some frilly clothes and pincurls sexual yearning business these days

i think girls are kind of perpetually on some frilly clothes and pincurls sexual yearning business, but grown women should probably know better.

not "perpetually" i guess, but inasmuch as meyer cites jane eyre + anne of green gables as her influences, i certainly recognize the kind of odious reading of those books that she's participating in from my young adulthood and i'm 28.

ugh now i am all thinking and wondering about this gross phenomenon.

Mormon-y in the same way Orson Scott Card's books are Mormon-y. Her bored Mormon housewife persona bleeds through constantly. The "don't become a vampyre until you're married" bit really wore me down. Also, I read Host, her first book for adults (not really, it's the same over-romanticized dreck, though had some good sci-fi moments) which drew heavily on the survivalist communitarianism that solidly founds the Mormon take on daily life.

Also, the very very squicky moments involving the older boy who is "bonded" with a very very young girl child, waiting for her, grooming her to become his when she is mature.

okay SERIOUSLY fuck this movie with knives

ew
that's pretty gross

That turns up in, like, the 3rd book - it's the werewolves who do that, not the "vegetarian" vampyres. I was also not happy with her treatment of native americans, but that might just be me.

was this thread really inevitable?

gah! in the second book (i think) bella starts hurting herself in order to hear edward's voice in her head after he leaves, and her dad is portrayed as a clueless heavy for trying to stop it. there is so much fucked-up stuff in these books!

(of course i had to skim most of them.)

I enjoyed these books immensely. I'm a huge fan of YA fiction in general and although this series can't compare to HP or (not by a long shot) His Dark Materials, it's a good read.

I'm looking forward to the movie. But since the film rendition of Golden Compass was horrendous I will walk in without expectations of a good interpretation.

Fuck with knives those who hate with no first-hand knowledge

I've read them and enjoyed the first one a lot. They do have their moments, but the subtext really started to get to me by the 3rd book.

not trying to mindlessly hate - i really did think that the writing was bad, and i don't like a lot of the undercurrents running through the book w/r/t desire, relationships, sex, self-esteem, etc.

You had at least read them Lauren so I wasn't including you. :)

the "vegetarian" vampyres

They're opening for London After Midnight, right?

i skimmed through these books cause weve got a project at my job that involves them and i can see why adolescent chicks (and grown women who never really grew out of adolescence) flip shit but they are so TERRIBLY written and the message they send about love, sex, self-worth, etc is totally BIZARRE

message they send about love, sex, self-worth, etc is totally BIZARRE

expand on this

and

grown women who never really grew out of adolescence

fuck yourself on this

i'm reading this now, it is rubbish but not particularly bad rubbish. If I were a teenager, and a girl, I would understandably be all over them. it's not very well written (this pales next to any early anne rice obv.) but who cares.

whoa nelly i wasnt including u since ur clearly not flipping shit -- referring to the 30+ yr olds/moms waiting in line to meet robert pattinson

Since I had just said I enjoyed them immensely, I assumed you were including me.

I could care less about the actor. He doesn't sound particularly bright in the comments I've read from him. Movies are a different animal from books they are based on. Come Monday I might harbor hatred for this film but I stand by the books.

Really, I would like to hear some elaboration on why some of you think the "messages" the books send are bizarre/twisted.

i was kind of mindlessly hating, sorry. in part Meyer's description of how she came up with the books kind of weirded me out: http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/twilight.html

the book reinforces over and over again that love/sex/desire/whatever means pain and sacrifice. she can't have sex with edward, because it will most likely kill her. even so, without any sex, she still gets hurt by or because of him all the time. she's pretty much a walking injury by the second book. and then there's the head werewolf's girlfriend (i can't believe i just typed that phrase)- she was mutilated by him, but it's treated as the price you pay for love. plus, there's the self-harm thing i mentioned already. and edward is just really controlling, mean, manipulative and creepy.

yeah lauren on-point--plus bella is a total wuss who cant seem to do anything without edward, tries to kill herself when hes gone, is constantly having to be rescued by him, etc. shes supposed to go to an ivy league college and ditches it all for this retarded boy; when he gets super controlling shes all "oh he does it cause he loves me"

and the birth scene is just fucking gross and horrible and hammers home the scared-of-sex bullshit that goes on the whole time

i realize that i'm not the target audience for this book, but i really do like YA fiction so i was kind of surprised by my negative reaction to this series. i mean, i read all of the anne rice novels and stuff, so it's not like i don't enjoy a good dose of goth-y escapism.

tbh a big reason i disliked these is cause theyre just not very much fun, not even in an escapist daydream-y what if i was a vampire way

shes supposed to go to an ivy league college and ditches it all for this retarded boy;

To be fair she was only going to go because Edward was bribing her way in. She was only able to get into the University of Alaska or something.

I see all of your points, Lauren, although they weren't overtones that beat me over the head when I was reading.

I did find them very fun in a read-the-whole-thing-in-a-day type way. I reread the first one but couldn't do so with the second. I would classify these more in the line of the romance genre rather than "goth" or Anne Rice-y. They're kind of like a bag of potato chips.

they have very effective and compelling cover art, I'll give them that.

No question on that point.

Stephanie Meyer says things:

Earlier at a press conference, though, you mentioned that you butted heads with Rob over how each of you saw Edward.

Oh yeah! That was a worry! He’d sit there arguing with me telling me I’m wrong about this character. He thinks Edward is a lot more depressed than I do. He thinks Edward is on the point of suicide. I’m like, ‘No! He’s got his family that he loves. He‘s got Carlisle.’ And Rob would go (putting on a British accent), ‘Well, why does he like Carlisle so much? This man changed him into a vampire! What are you thinking?’ (Laughs) There were very intense conversations. But it was hysterical after the fact. I was worried though. I was thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, he’s going to go in there and play Edward like Edward The Emo. Nooooooooo.’ But he didn’t! And it’s exactly what I wanted to see. It was crazy, but he got it. It’s on the screen and that’s all that matters.

Later:

What did you think of the movie’s ending? [Note to readers: It’s a bit different from the way the novel ends.]

It was fantastic. I thought, ‘Now I’ve got them. They have to go on [with more movies], don’t they.’ (Laughs)

I guess they got rid of the squid.

does Pattinson have a song on this or is that some dialogue snippet?

It's an actual song. My sister played it for me, he sounds vaguely like Damien Rice.

God I hate these books. The prose style grates, the characters are either cardboard or intensely aggravating, and it offers some really weird, fucked-up ideas about relationships. The 108 year old vampire marrying an 18 year old girl? Totally cool 'cause it's true love, and their feelings will never change for any reason. The 16 year old (looks 24) shapeshifting werewolf grooming a baby for eventual marriage? Totally cool 'cause it's, like, biological imperative, plus the baby's mentally sophisticated because of lol vampire genetics.

Not to mention that Edward is just a genteel stalker and the book romanticizes some pretty fucked up behaviors in the name of EPIC LOVE. He climbs through her window every night to sit in the corner of her room and watch her sleep, without her knowledge or consent, and more than once he disables her car so she can't do something he perceives to be dangerous, even though she explicitly says she understands the risks and wants to do it anyway. And aside from all that he is often patronizing, condescending, and dismissive toward her, but it's brushed aside as good-hearted because he loves her so much.

On the other hand, the movie looks like it's going to be hilarious. Robert Pattinson has been a treasure trove of questionable publicity. Here's my favorite quote:

"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't to that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus he's an 108 year old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."

Pattinson was in the film I worked on. He'd just been cast in Twilight when we shot around spring 2007. He was trying to explain to us what a big deal it was going to be, but the books were unknown in the U.K. at the time and none of us believed him. Regardless of this film, Pattinson is a good actor, but his career has obviously been changed for ever, and his casting has changed the distribution/marking for our tiny little indie totally.

Our film is on the festival circuit and is getting an awful lot of attention for an indie without a sales agent or a marketing budget. This is simply because of the Pattinson connection. I manage the mailing list, and the comments the girls who sign up leave are, uh, intense. We took the film to Austin last month. I wasn't there, but the director shot some terrifying footage: http://www.vimeo.com/2233650.

I bought the book after we shot, got five pages in and got bored. I have no opinion on it.

Also, I don't know him anywhere near well enough to say for sure, but I get the feeling him being incredibly uncomfortable around fans is not an act. He's been on a Palin-style leash for the past few months and doesn't seem entirely prepared.

I've never read the books but some of the excerpts online make them seem like they might be more EPIC LULZ than epic love.

I could feel his cool breath on my neck, feel his nose sliding along my jaw, inhaling.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," he whispered. "You have a very floral smell, like lavender. . . or freesia," he noted. "It's mouthwatering."

oh bugger bbcode

Ha ha caek I have heard of your movie! I read oh no they didn't, where the Twilight movie has been a daily topic for what seems like a million years, and I've seen How to Be brought up several times over the past few months.

yah, It got mentioned on Perez Hilton a couple of weeks back too: http://perezhilton.com/2008-10-19-completely-gratuitous-52

and Variety: http://weblogs.variety.com/thompsononhollywood/2008/11/twilight-whats.html (5:15 or so in the video)

Mental. Pattinson is a good guy though. Simultaneous publicist's nightmare and wet dream for something like Twilight.

The Twilight soundtrack is doing very well: http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117995713.html?categoryid=16&cs=1

Pattinson is on the soundtrack to ours too, so we should do okay. It's just audio from the film, but it has a lot of live music so it will probably be a few tracks. He's alongside Captain Beefheart and Beethoven, so I'm looking forward to a generation of twenty-something female Clear Spot/Evanescence fans in about ten years.

So is this thing on some kind of Buffy-style trip, then?

Why all the hysteria? Even Harry Potter doesnt quite get this level of insanity...though 30+ women squeeing their pants off over *any* of this stuff - Potter, Supernatural, Buffy, Twilight etc - and indulging in paedophilic, incestuous fanfic fantasies *obsessively* is really, really disturbing to me. I'm seeing it first hand with a friend older than me, and I honestly dont understand what's missing from someone's life to immerse themselves 120% into a bunch of fictional characters.

I dont know anything about Twilight specifically though, so *shrug*.

It's the sex/forbidden fruit stuff.

Well that explains why teens like this kind of thing, but not why middle aged women do .. maybe? I guess its like a mills and boon thing, I dunno. I shouldn't pass judgement on it all. It just seems really alien to me.

Yeah, I guess. The Twilight Moms thing (Google it) is baffling to me too.

I read the first two books, but quit mid-Eclipse. I wouldn't have ever read the books, but when there's a youth phenomenon I generally try to be vaguely aware of it so I don't feel so old. And I was finally compelled to read them after some random cashier looked at my friend's drivers license (which has a Forks address) and interrogated her about the city. Oh, and I also read ONTD and they are mad for it (or against it).

I think all the bad things about the series have been laid out, but the things that really stuck out to me were:

-Bella is not overly attractive (intentionally by the author so ugly girls across the world could hold out hope etc) and yet every single guy at school is in love with her...I think at least 3 guys ask her to prom?
-Bella wasn't very nice to people at school and yet everyone wanted to be her friend; one thing I remember is that whenever anyone at school said something to her, Bella "tuned them out" or "nodded along" or "listened distractedly" or whatever. Personality-wise there was nothing redeeming about her.
-The whole point of the series is that basically, there is nothing to live for besides the boy you're in love with. If he's out of your life you might as well risk your life and be miserable because there is absolutely nothing to live for.
-CHEESY ASS WRITING. Every description of Edward had to use the words dazzling, godlike, pale, beautiful, etc.
-The whole creepy abusive boyfriend thing...if a guy watched you while you slept, fucked with your car so you couldn't do something or just bossed you around in general, you would call the cops.
-The whole damsel-in-distress thing is laid on SO thick. I don't mind a Prince Charming saving the day but as a post-women's lib female this series was just embarrassing.

I read plot summaries of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn just to see what happened in the end and may I say HOLY FUCKING SHIT WTF @ Breaking Dawn.

hahaha yeah I read the recaps too - seems like if they were gonna do sequels, there is no way THAT SCENE from Breaking Dawn is film-able.

FWIW, a fair amount of the hardcore fans apparently reacted to that last one the same way you did.

I think the movie will be epic lulz. Just the pictures from the vampire baseball scene make me sad that mst3k isn't around anymore. I guess maybe it will get the rifftrax treatment someday though.

the vampire baseball scene

waht

I'm still surprised H.I.M. isn't on the soundtrack -- "Killing Loneliness" seems PERFECT for this thing:

Man now I'm wishing this thing had been set in Canada and there was a vampire hockey scene.

http://daemonsmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/twilight7.jpg

multiple xposts The thing is there is no sex until the fourth book, and even there it's this fade-to-black, coy winking stuff that's hardly titilating. Honestly I think the books function as emotional porn: Edward is the perfect marble Adonis who is so intensely in love with you that he spends four days staring into your eyes and quizzing you about everything you like and dislike, and he saves you from rapists when you accidentally wander into a bad part of town, because he's so terrified that you'll die that he spends every moment of the day following you around just in case. And, you know, he's also virtuous and pure and has been saving himself for you for over a century. I imagine that plays well with certain crowds.

All I know about Twilight, I got from cleoland.

I have heard him described as the perfect Mormon boy -- I guess he's like the Mitt Romney of vampires.

So did I, Roz!

I leave it to the skilled Photoshoppers to put Mitt's grinning visage into the poster art.

Okay, wait, that baseball scene's a daytime shot, why the hell is he not roasting to a crisp? Is he a day vampire?

Vampire baseball is pretty hilarious, but leave it to the movie to actually put them in uniforms.

i had never heard of this until this thread!

/the lex

Read the books, Ned. All will be revealed.

Am going to a screening on Thursday nite. Was only going b/c my niece was going to go with me (11 yo and majorly addicted) but she can't make it, and told me I should go see it anyway. Didn't have the heart to tell her I'd rather stab myself in the eye. So wooo! Exciting!

Haven't read the books. Lots of friends and family are raving...I dunno the vibe of these books just weirds me out. Too bodice-rippy and cheesy. But who knows, maybe I'll read them after the movie. Honestly though? I think Angel and Spike would eat emo Edward for breakfast.

Oh and Ned? Hahahahahaha! re this:

I guess they got rid of the squid.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 17 November 2008 22:42 (Yesterday)

Vampires don't burn in daylight in these books -- instead, their skin sparkles and glints like a thousand diamonds! That's why they live in Forks, the cloud cover conceals their dazzlement.

Jaq, I'll stick to this thread's marginalia on The Great Work.

And thank you VegGrrl!

instead, their skin sparkles and glints like a thousand diamonds!

Fuck that, these aren't vampires, they're Olivia Newton-John and her fellow Muses from Xanadu, then.

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

I jokingly asked my niece if she was going to vamp it up for the Twilight midnight screening. She eyerolled and said "Vampires are just like us, only paler. All that other stuff is just a MYTH." In my mind: BWAHAHAHAHAAH!

x-post -- A gender-reversed Pygmalion/Galatea story?

Veg, you were an eleven year old girl once who knew everything that stupid adults didn't get, don't lie.

I read that Obama is reading the first book to Malia and Sasha. I seriously hope he exercises his veto power because our First Girls are way too classy for this shit.

I would love to see them try to make a movie out of Breaking Dawn. To save money they can just insert a certain scene from "Alien". All this being said, I do want to see "Twilight" when it comes to the theaters.

eta: yeah my Forks friend said that the author just looked up what the rainiest city in the US was; as long as it's not sunny the vamps have no problems.

with baseball. xposts

xposts: re Edward in that excerpt...How come he's still flushed from the hunting trip the day before? Is he very unfit?

Field of Vampires

If you emo they will come

Doubtless.

xposts fuck knows. I've never read the books aside from key lols-worthy excerpts.

Is he very unfit?

Gorged on bear blood. These vampyres don't go for humans, only the larger mammals.

And why must innocent bears suffer.

Actually that sounds wrong.

i read the gawker post on it - http://gawker.com/5088454/anticipation-for-sex-that-never-comes-is-highlight-of-twilight - where someone makes that point about Edward as the perfect boy who just loves you too much to ever touch you even though he pretends to ignore you because his love is JUST TOO STRONG, and it's such an interesting point, i thought? Like, why bother to make up a reason for the more-attractive one to fancy the less-attractive one? just leave it opaque by being mystical or just not explaining!

i do totally want to read them now, though. perhaps in the name of 'research'.

xposts: Vampires, baseball and bears, oh my. Thursday night is going to be a HOOT!

I actually respect them less as vampires for killing innocent wildlife instead of frat boys or alaskan governors or other people like that.

Then again, they are the #1 threat...

Pale goofs playing baseball and hunting bears in damp forests -- this feels more River's Edge/Deliverance than anything else.

Or maybe To Die For, I dunno. A Simple Plan.

oh wow I swear I did not know about this gif before my last post, this is amazing:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v14/Svenstorm/Misc/000w0bkt.gif

Bad News Vampires

Eight Bears Dead

I have no problem with these books, except the writing is so poor. I've only read Twilight, but I don't get the impression the successors had any stylistic advances. I was very interested in the story of Edward and Bella, but every time I picked up Twilight, the prose made me wince. It really pained me to read it. So I would put it down, and then I would wonder what was gonna happen to those two, and then I would start all over again.

I get asked for Twilight about 20 times a day. I think our waitlist is around 500, and the movie hasn't even come out yet. I have read that Rob Pattison is not a fan of the shampoo or the hair wash, nor perhaps the bath or the bathing.

Hey VP, i may have asked you this before but don't remember--which library branch do you work at? the wife of a co-worker of mine is also a librarian.

xpost: Ah yeah, mr stinky hair. Yeah...not a turn on. I think hearing so much about the bad prose is ultimately what's kept me away. Not being a snob or anything, but I just can't set that aside for the sake of a 'good story'.

vampire baseball sheezus

I've found the perfect vacation for you, Latebloomer:

You’ll get a “backstage pass” to see book and film locations in Forks, St. Helens, Columbia Gorge, and Portland. You’ll also have the chance to have exclusive conversations with people involved in the filming of Twilight.

You’ll stay at the Quileute Tribal resort to experience Jacob and Billy’s world – sharing stories with elders and exploring the culture of the Quileute Nation.

Your friends and family will have a fabulous time walking through rain forests, exploring the Columbia River Gorge, and enjoying a favorite pastime of vampires and humans alike -baseball! The finale of this exciting journey is the opportunity to play Edward’s favorite pastime, Vampire baseball, at the professional baseball stadium, PGE Park in Portland. After your game, you’ll be treated to VIP seats and dinner while you watch the Portland Beavers play “human baseball.” Your evening concludes with an amazing 4th of July fireworks display at the ball park. It’s the perfect ending to this fabulous fan trip!

http://skreened.com/product-image/w250h350f2ss1ab35/kclquwpjppnscgkgvxia/twilight-t-shirts-cullen-17-vampire-baseball-t-shirt.png

I convinced a couple of my coworkers to read these by outlining the plot and awesome badness of it. After I told them what I thought was the plot of The Host (is it like a body snatchers thing where the girl falls in love with the alien trying to inhabit her body?) we spend our time pitching new S. Meyers plots.

All of mine tend to be about a murderous unicorn with nonfuncitonal horn who shapeshifts into a super hot guy.

You’ll also have the chance to have exclusive conversations with people involved in the filming of Twilight.

Surly teamsters who made the coffee.

x-post -- You should write that up for NaNoWriMo.

All of mine tend to be about a murderous unicorn with nonfuncitonal horn who shapeshifts into a super hot guy.

― Yerac, Tuesday, November 18, 2008 4:16 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is a true story based on my life, btw

I have read semi-serious rumors that her next book/series is going to be about time traveling mermaids. One person claimed it was "cannibalistic time traveling mermaids" but that's just ridiculous.

BUT THEY WILL BE RIDICULOUSLY HOT, SO IT IS OK IF THEY WANT TO EAT YOU.

maybe lycanthropic time traveling mermaids. Now THAT I would read.

so...looks like it's gonna be a Vampire Weekend at the ol' box office after this comes out, eh ?

I have to hurt you now.

as long as they have Cedric Diggory's hair.

I am honestly shocked that S. Meyer didn't use a pen names and is actually seen in public. I was telling my coworker if I wrote Twilight, I would be pulling some serious JT Leroy business.

his hair is the source of his sparkly power.

i fully intend to read these btw - i'm just waiting until after i graduate in a few months when i'll be perfectly willing to waste time on badly-written escapist junk.

true confession: i spent sunday afternoon in bookstores, ostensibly searching for raymond carver, willa cather, frederick exeley, but was actually looking for a cheap paperback of all this books.

i love the shit of corny badly-written goth emo love horror

*out of

i would have sex with all this books

take it to I Love TMI bro.

I've had Breaking Dawn on my library hold requests for ages, but um, if there's a birth scene like that I'm not so fussed about being #547 on the list.

Apparently, according to her facebook, my librarian friend just got four tickets to the thursday midnight screening of this.
I was totally unaware of these books until a few weeks ago!

I work at M@sp*th, out in Qns. I think your friend works for Brooklyn?

Mermaids yay! I love mermaids. My section will have to stick with Emily Windsnap though.

What happened to the whole rewriting the whole series from Edward's POV? I read that Meyer threw a fit bc some of it was leaked on the internet.

didn't realize that meyer was actually LDS herself

Inspiration

Meyer, an avid reader,[29] cites many novels as inspiration for the Twilight series, including Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery.[30] She also says that her writing is strongly influenced by music, and she posts "playlists" on her website of songs which specifically inspired her books. Bands included most often in her playlists are Muse, Blue October, My Chemical Romance, Coldplay, and Linkin Park.[31][32][33][34]

What happened to the whole rewriting the whole series from Edward's POV? I read that Meyer threw a fit bc some of it was leaked on the internet.

That was it, essentially. The Twilight rewrite was called "Midnight Sun" and she was about halfway through it when she gave copies to some people working on the movie. It leaked a little while after Breaking Dawn was released, and Meyer said she was upset and disappointed and couldn't see finishing it any time soon.

Popular consesus on ONTD is that Robert Pattinson traded his copy for some weed.

This guy is becoming even more of a hero.

everyone hearts rpattz

http://i29.tinypic.com/2pphvlj.gif

In which Robert Pattinson inflicts Twilight on unsuspecting friends:

After he replied to the text message, we found out that Rupert [Grint, from the Harry Potter films] recently lost a bet to actor Robert Pattinson, who was once part of the Harry Potter cast in a previous film, and insisted that Rupert read the bestselling book. Rupert is now "stuck reading 'Twilight' " and that Rob was just texting him to see how far along he was getting.

Rupert admitted he had only read the first five chapters of the bestselling book and we just informed him that there were three more books in the series. "No, really, are you serious? I thought there was just this one book?" Only now realizing he has to read three more, Rupert took his phone out and sent another message to Rob. By the looks of things, we can bet it wasn't a very pleasant message.

Apparently these books have been translated to Finnish too, but I've totally missed this whole phenomenon, reading this thread is the first time I've heard about it. Based on what people are saying about gender and sex in the books probably means their not my cup of tea at all, though.

Edward is a lot more depressed than I do. He thinks Edward is on the point of suicide.

Actually I agree with the actor here.

I don't even know why I even would bother reading a thread like this or trying to defend this book on ILx. Those of you talking about 30-yr-old women being pathetic, pedophilic, or whatever's being said, for enjoying these books are making sweeping generalizations that aren't only mis-informed but pissing me off.

Even if you think you know nobody else, this mid-30s woman loves book series like this merely b/c I love good stories. It doesn't have to be a pinnacle of literature to enjoy reading it. As far as the appropriateness for kids. . . I don't have kids and don't care in this case. Every parent should read something first and decide if it's appropriate for their own spawn.

As far as dissecting every single aspect of the story for the message it sends. . .ffs, it's a BOOK! Give teenage girls some credit for being intelligent enough to distinguish fiction from reality and don't think just become some vampire's an asshole in a book that they're going to go out and hook up with some asshole in real life.

Even if there's no direct correlation between a certain book and people's behaviour, popular culture as a whole helps to reproduce gender norms in various subtle ways. I don't see no reason why a message in a book can't be criticized even if the message is not a straightforward "DO THIS!". That's not how these sort of messages tend to work anyway.

I do understand that many people can get enjoyment from politically incorrect fiction without necessarily swallowing the incorrect messages, but I don't think this should exclude the need to criticize such works, because otherwise you couldn't criticize any book (except maybe Mein Kampf).

Also, this isn't livejournal.

I don't disagree with you Tuomas. My reaction is largely personal as I feel some posts have coated those criticisms with negative judgments on those who like the books.

Also I'm a life-long hip-hop fan with no apologies for it. Make what you will of that.

no one used the words "pathetic" or "pedophilic"

Give teenage girls some credit for being intelligent enough to distinguish fiction from reality and don't think just become some vampire's an asshole in a book that they're going to go out and hook up with some asshole in real life.

i agree with this. when i was a teenager i went through a phase of reading hardboiled mystery books. my mom sat me down and had a talk about how the way the men in the books treated women was unrealistic and inappropriate in the real world, and i was like uh no shit mom.

though 30+ women squeeing their pants off over *any* of this stuff - Potter, Supernatural, Buffy, Twilight etc - and indulging in paedophilic, incestuous fanfic fantasies *obsessively* is really, really disturbing to me.

Perhaps this post was *just* referring to the fanfic writers. I know naught of this and am afraid to know actually.

There is a draft of Twilight from Edward's POV on her site I haven't read it yet. Dislike reading books online and it's too long to print.

I'm not very excited about Pattinson. While I was reading I always pictured Edward as the actor from Six Feet Under and Dexter. Ridiculous as not only does he not look 17 but he doesn't even match the character's description. But you know how it is once your vision of a character gets lodged in your brain. . .

Also I'm a life-long hip-hop fan with no apologies for it. Make what you will of that.

And what has a new handle?

One portrayal of an unrealistic/unhealthy relationship isn't going to damage a young girl, but being exposed to many of them over a course of one's life could certainly do some harm. Plus, from what I have heard, many of the readers are younger than teenaged. The books have no obligation to be great literature or a story of morals everyone can agree on, but we are still entitled to criticize the books without having some indignant fan complain about it.

So, what, I'm entitled to speak my piece as well?

no you're not
xpost

Yes, you are, but replying to critical posts with "but it's just a book!" is missing the point of a discussion thread. It's also the telltale sign of someone lacking a riposte to valid criticism.

More like lacking the interest.

My initial response was a visceral one based on what I felt were unqualified criticisms (b/c the poster had no knowledge of the series past movie trailers and press clips) and seemingly elitist judgments. My desire to put forth much effort in discussions here died years ago.

My only true contribution to this thread: many sane, intelligent people enjoy these books so don't dismiss them out of hand.

im sorry that we all bored you so much with our multi-paragraph posts explaining specifically what we disliked about the books

many sane, intelligent people enjoy these bookship-hop so don't dismiss them it out of hand.

xpost

I was happy to read them. I just don't care to wade too deep into discussions/debates here myself.

I'm back! And I still hate these books and I have read all four of them and I love sci-fi and fantasy and SOME other vampire tales and I still hate them!

I will say...Bella is exactly as vacant-minded and personality-less as you can imagine, which is a huge part of the books' commercial success. Every. Single. Reader. Believes that SHE is Bella, she is just like our lucky heroine, and since Bella has approximately ZERO characteristics to dissuade them, they're able to pretend completely. It's like porn with disembodied male organs and no view of the men to spoil the fantasy.

Also OH MY GOD SHUT UP Bella mentally "talks" an INCESSANT amount and really every book could be only half as long if she were only allowed to cover the same mental ground once or twice instead of AD NAUSEUM.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_of_view_pornography, xp

The fourth book DOES finally pay off, but here's why, in my opinion: Bella finally becomes something strong, capable, confident, and talented. Which she has not been for the entire series. She's not even a normally functional human being when she's a human being! By the time she gets a fucking clue, you've already waited approx two thousand PAGES for the payoff. And unfortunately she's only awesome for about 50 pages and then it all goes monkey-sided again.

birth scene still creeps me the fuck out

i agree with this. when i was a teenager i went through a phase of reading hardboiled mystery books. my mom sat me down and had a talk about how the way the men in the books treated women was unrealistic and inappropriate in the real world, and i was like uh no shit mom. and then i backhanded the dame, see. nobody's old lady gives me the jaw-jaw without getting back in spades!

Did your roscoe sneeze "Kachow?"

"monkey-sided"!

Monkey-sided, syn. "pear-shaped". First used on ILX, possibly by Chicago Kevin?

laurel, escape from the twilight series is futile. as we discovered, not even joe's shanghai is safe.

In Susan's defense, aside from the prose (and the birthing scene which should probably come with a warning label of some sort), most of the excerpts I've read don't seem that offensive to me. besides, Twilight is hardly the only preteen/teen-oriented pop culture example out there with a Mary Sue x 11 protagonist or with questionable ideas about relationships, especially teen relationships. Even one where the male lead is actually 108 years old and probably shouldn't still be in high school. i dunno, at worst it just seems like entertaining fluff.

i find the obsessive fandom pretty disturbing/hilarious though, particularly the way it revolves mostly around said male lead, who even the actor who plays him finds hard to defend. and boy does he try. i've watched Harry Potter fans bring the crazy before but Twilighters seem to have taken that to new, terrifying levels.

How Paramount botched handling the movie rights when they had them.

xxxp Neither is the MTA.

I think one of the reasons the furor and obsession are just so immense for this series is that the books glorify everything obsessive about teenage-hood, particularly teenaged girlhood. The story doesn't promote the main character's agency or free will, she isn't rewarded for courage or inventiveness...she's really so extremely passive that VERY LITTLE HAPPENS, despite the books all being 600 pages each -- she spends probably 250 of those pages just THINKING ABOUT HERSELF. Which is basically par for the course for 15 or so, when the books start, but by the end she's supposed to be 19 or so and she hasn't become one bit more complex.

I only began reading these after the most recent, and final, installment came out. I've been wholly unaware of the extreme hype surrounding the film. Like I said above while I think the books are good they're nowhere close to HP so I'm kind of surprised reading recent reports about the madness.

A handful of, grown, women I know IRL are fans as well and although we are the dorks who go to the midnight showing of a new HP movie, there are no group outings planned for this. I'm going with a friend who's in a screenwriting MFA program and recently met the woman who wrote this one. I'm most interested in how well they pull off the adaptation. Usually my favorite books are butchered on screen.

I would also like the point out that the author's one book aimed at an adult audience is guilty of the exact same flaws, which suggests that it wasn't so much particularly aimed at teenagers as much as it is either the only way the author sees the world, or at least the only way she can write about it.

The jacket and cover design though is totally beautiful, though, and all props to the design staff who have been basically killing themselves to come up with them for years now.

btw, i was just looking for info on the new ysl black lip gloss and came across an la times blog article in which the writer connected the product with the release of twilight. there are a TON of comments from offended twilight fans saying things like, "twilight is the opposite of goth!" and "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!"

isnt there a twilight-branded lipstick out too though?

"edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!" "edward wouldn't approve of makeup!"

i don't know, but another comment mentioned twilight lip balm or something that makes your lips "cold, like edward's."

hahahahahahah oh man

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04_02/GroupHugAP_468x495.jpg

This is what Edward considers hottt.

WWED?

xpost lollllll nicole

Considering it's winter, I think hot like Jacob's would be preferable.

Edward wouldn't approve of makeup but she wears it to premieres anyway.

i'm not trying to make fun of teen/preteen girls, i swear, but some of this just cracks me up.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081010202709AAfpWuM

"twilight is the opposite of goth!"

There's actually something cosmic about this. Kinda.

I need stevem to dig up that remix he did of the one almanac selection.

the problem is that you don't have to try to make fun of teen/preteen girls.

I didn't realize Catherine Hardwicke directed this, that means it might actually be good

Did she also re-write it?

and by "good" I mean "decent diverting entertainment for 2 hours" not "citizen kane" (xpost)

no but meyer didn't write the screenplay.

the problem is that you don't have to try to make fun of teen/preteen girls anyone.

fixed!

it was written by one of the producers of Dexter, apparently

so maybe the inadvertent "ugh creepy" stuff was made a lot more explicit...?

screenwriter: Melissa Rosenberg

oh if it's written by someone from Dexter then it'll be very good at making something that should be ugh creepy seem almost comforting. the fans would probably love it.

I think everything people have complained about as "creepy" on here is taken from the book -- has anyone seen the movie yet? I think there was a screening last night but I skipped.

And what's creepy about it are things that are more consistent with the extremely conservative, backward worldview of the Mormon Church, and others like it. Not creepy like zombies or atmospheric suspense or The Ring or whatever. Just creepy like...abusive relationships and encouraged female helplessness; anti-abortion, anti-birth control screeds written into the "story"; betrothing a newborn girl to a teenager...should I go on?

I believe all of that has already been covered on this thread, so no.

We could just talk about vampire baseball some more.

mormon teenage girls deserve to have their share of goth-romance novels, too!

xxp I know, but I missed it yesterday and I wanted to rant. And I think Dan was maybe asking if those aspects were "creeped up" for the movie more than the book, and the answer is: I'm not even sure how that would be possible.

next: goth-romance epic series aimed at somalian teenage female refugees

xxxpost

In one of the few stills I've seen, they're all wearing cute little throw-back baseball costumes. Which seemed a bit much.

xp Hopefully it won't challenge their worldview in any way, so they won't have learn anything from it.

http://www.reluctant-twilighter.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/team_baseball.jpg

oh Melissa Rosenberg wrote "Step up", pls pls pls plspls pls let there be a vampire danceoff

If that woman who runs Reluctant Twilighter designed those team slogans and badges, we should have hired her.

(xpost) Well, they do go to prom at one point.

"YOU GOT VAMPIRE SERVED"

I do have to thank this thread for indirectly introducing the word "fursplode" into my vocabulary, I have been laughing about that all day.

i guess i shouldnt repost the youtube video i posted on 77

Blues fursplosion

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081119/REVIEWS/811199997

Love the Ebert review.

It's about a teenage boy trying to practice abstinence, and how, in the heat of the moment, it's really, really hard.

*instant rimshot of the gods*

I lol'ed at that.

fang job

haha

At high school, she quickly notices the preternaturally pale Cullen clan, who in some shots seem to be wearing as much Max Factor Pancake White as Harry Langdon. Edward is 114 years old. He must be really tired of taking biology class. Darwin came in during his watch, and proved vampires can't exist.

PURITY RING WEREWOLF

He rescues Bella twice that I remember, maybe because he truly loves her, maybe because he's saving her for later.

Just the other day, Robert Pattinson, who plays sexy vampire Edward, realized, "there were some girls who had scratched ... the side of their necks so [they were] freshly bleeding when they came up to get a signature.

!!!

yeah see, no

Perhaps this post was *just* referring to the fanfic writers. I know naught of this and am afraid to know actually.

It was. These people are obsessive, they quite literally spend all day in forums swapping brain-spit over slash fantasties rewritten from this stuff (Happry-Snape, the 2 brothers from Supernatural, etc etc) to the point of neglecting families and jobs, and acting like 15 year olds at a Duran Duran concert.

I'm all for passionate and emotional involvement in literature, but there's got to be a limit surely.

"Happry"? I meant Harry. Its too early.

I've bought tix to this for Friday night and am now way more curious about the crowd than the movie. I was seriously clueless about the rabid fandom until Robert Pattison was cast and started popping up on TMZ. I knew the books had a big following but didn't realize little girls were making themselves bleed. . .

I'm going to a late showing at an un-kid friendly theater. Will count how many adults show up in costume.

When I was an obsessive teenager, I wanted to live in the Anne McCaffrey dragon-verse about as desperately as these girls want to live inside Twilight. But at the time, equally obsessive religious beliefs put me in huge conflict with the imaginary world I lusted after. And yes, lust is the correct word here.

How bad could it have been if my imaginary world challenged my religious beliefs NOT AT ALL?

I didn't know the author was a mormon until this thread which is a little, hmm. But I don't really think the lack of pre-marital sex is a big deal.

I'm not sure what world I wanted to live in when I was a teenager. I was mostly obsessed with Public Enemy and Paul's Boutique. Not sure if I would have dug these books or HP then.

Thoughts from the moneymen:

When it comes to brand, the film industry almost universally agrees that people outside the Hollywood bubble do not make movie-going decisions based on what studio makes the picture, with the notable exception of the Walt Disney Company. But Mr. Friedman said he believed “Twilight” would make the name Summit mean something with consumers. “We will probably create a brand with this,” he said.

What exactly is that brand? The two men were silent. Finally, Mr. Friedman said, “I would call it commercial.”

Catherine Hardwicke on it all.

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/images/column/103108/pattinsonhair.jpg

No comments yet on South Park's take on teen vampires last night?

I wish the "Burn down the Hot Topic" song was available for download.

and acting like 15 year olds at a Duran Duran concert.

Dee the Lurker zing?

Ha no, self at 15 zing actually ;P

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v647/153/104/19900005/n19900005_32228795_6393.jpg

the lack of sex seems like nowhere near the worst thing about this movie, judging from this thread alone without touching the books. and yet i kind of want to see it just to laugh now. the ebert review was brilliant.

The best thing about this series is the crazy macro community that has sprung up around it, I mean where does stuff like this even come from (warning 5MB picture):

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b265/ktk_bhgl/FOR%20KATE/princedazzles.gif

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/akadaver/n504308784_1114871_3497.jpg

Yup.

For real. These are the demographics of our film's Facebook group. Robert Pattinson controls minds.

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f325/caek/Picture1-10.png

Guess I shouldn't be surprised that there are so many votes before the film's even out (up to about 2200 right now) - but I am surprised that more female 18-29ers vs under 18s voted. Though I doubt these statistics are super accurate.

By the way, I'm sure Twilight is a sucky and probably dangerous movie, but their are plenty of equally pernicious ones aimed at teenage boys that don't get the kind of mock-baffled/worried treatment this film is getting in the press. There are reasons other than sexism for this, but I can't help but feel like that's a big part of it.

The obsessions of girls and woman are almost as painted as frivolous. *reaches for smelling salts*

True, both of you! But even more so: the story brings the drama, the characters bring the drama, it all caters to the natural and appropriate tendency of girls of a certain age to be overwhelmingly dramatic and basically brings it all to a giant crescendo of scratching through the skin of your own neck before going to a movie premiere.

"Do these jeans make my butt look ginormous?" "No, I totally swear. Can you see the blood? Am I bleeding enough?" "OMG that is so perfect. Here, give me the razor."

Paternalism is kinda amazing because it can manage to be sexist toward both sexes at the same time!

I love all the sexes equally.

By the way, I'm sure Twilight is a sucky and probably dangerous movie, but their are plenty of equally pernicious ones aimed at teenage boys that don't get the kind of mock-baffled/worried treatment this film is getting in the press. There are reasons other than sexism for this, but I can't help but feel like that's a big part of it.

yeah, I really wish someone would write an article about how violence in entertainment can be destructive. that subject has really been overlooked.

i thought he was talking bout superbad.

Umm I'm not 100% confident about the following points, but let me suggest a few things:

- the behavioral oddities of teenage boys can be just as pronounced as those of teenage girls, but they're somehow more wrapped into our culture in a way where we don't bother being surprised or mystified about them

- one possible reason for this is that we always get alarmed at teenage-girl manias that have a sexual component, which is obviously paternalistic, and there's a certain double-standard there insofar as (a) plenty of our culture is already about sexualizing them, and (b) we do not get worried or paternal about the sexual behavior of teenage boys (partly on the incorrect logic that no one will have them anyway)

- when we get concerned about teenage-boy behavior it's usually because of destructiveness or violence, but our bar is somehow set to be fairly unsurprised by and tolerant of those things in young boys (either due to low expectations or a sense that it's "natural" in some magical way that teenage-girl sexuality is not), and so the alarm is more free-floating and unspecific

- one possible reason for this is that we always get alarmed at teenage-girl manias that have a sexual component, which is obviously paternalistic, and there's a certain double-standard there insofar as (a) plenty of our culture is already about sexualizing them, and (b) we do not get worried or paternal about the sexual behavior of teenage boys (partly on the incorrect logic that no one will have them anyway)

this is true, but what's interesting to me is that much of the alarm being raised here (on ilx) is working *against* this. that is, most ppl are o_O precisely because Twilight is weirdly paternalistic at its very core; the story itself anticipates all this weirdo behavior. so it's not omg wtf r these sexed-up girls going crazy for, i hope they don't get knocked up! it's oh man isn't it weird that some of these girls are still buying this paternalistic bullshit

It's still paternalistic to worry that young women are getting the "wrong message" about sexuality, no matter which message you think is wrong!

I mean, I'm not using the word "paternalism" as a strictly negative thing, which is part of why I said it can cut at both sexes -- it can mean we're unnecessarily policing the behavior of women/girls, but by the same token it can mean we're exhibiting concern about the protection of women/girls that we don't exhibit about men/boys, or are attempting to have higher standards for the well-being of one sex than another.

(e.g. it's "paternalistic" to think women should be "protected" from things like military combat, but the flip side of that coin is having a few arenas where we think of men's lives as being more disposable than women's)

yeah, I really wish someone would write an article about how violence in entertainment can be destructive. that subject has really been overlooked.

― miss precious perfect (musically), Thursday, November 20, 2008 11:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

haha lol zing. Way to miss the point. I'm not suggesting we write equally idiotic articles about guy films too. I'm suggesting we not write them about the few girl films that exist because it's patronising and paternalistic.

It's still paternalistic to worry that young women are getting the "wrong message" about sexuality, no matter which message you think is wrong!

Totally otm.

The other interesting dynamic, in terms of the "wrong message" about sexuality, is that when it's directed at girls we worry-worry-worry that they'll make bad decisions that harm them, and when it's directed at boys we get incensed that they'll make bad decisions that victimize girls -- which is, sadly, VERY realistic, in terms of how things work out and who winds up victimized ... but there's very little concern or attention put into how boys think of things and how that impacts their well-being.

^^ I don't mean this to sound like one of those "b-b-but what about the poor boys" articles, just pointing out that we police one sex's behavior and get very "concerned" about the other's decision-making and well-being. (Which I suspect generally benefits boys, actually, but I'm more curious what it says about our thinking in general.)

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/twilight/news/1781209/five_favorite_films_with_twilights_robert_pattinson

Corky Romano?

I'm not sure I'm tracking the paternalism argument as it specifically relates to people's reactions to Twilight.

I'm suggesting we not write them about the few girl films that exist because it's patronising and paternalistic.

As a chick, and having read a fair amount of female-penned criticism of Twilight's perceived anti-feminism, I'm concerned that the book/movie glorifies a type of relationship that is agency-depriving and leads to the sublimation of personal ambition. Is the argument "leave it alone, we have so few girl movies anyway, why you gotta criticize"? Or, "we examine the motives of teen girl movies more stringently than teen boy movies, so we should really focus on the sexism inherent in that"?

I mean, I don't have a burning fear that girls are going to see Twilight and immediately hook up with domineering goth boys, but I do think the audience for the books and movie is widespread enough that pointing out and discussing its underlying values is meaningful. Literally every female in my acquaintance under, say, 27 has read the books. The story and its values are part of our common dialogue. I don't know, does having this concern mean there a paternalist mote I need to cast out of my eye?

haha lol zing. Way to miss the point. I'm not suggesting we write equally idiotic articles about guy films too. I'm suggesting we not write them about the few girl films that exist because it's patronising and paternalistic.

here's something else that's patronizing and paternalistic: holding "girl films" to a double standard and handling them with kid gloves while holding up "guy films" to the same scrutiny that just about everything in the media receives.

SEEING IS FORGETTING THE NAME OF THE THING THAT ONE SEES

reddening: I'm certainly not saying we should cut this film a break because it's the first girl film since Titanic. I think what I'm saying is: subtle, pernicious bullshit in teen movies is nothing new. The media is, rightly, happy to ignore it in guy films because it has been gone over so many times and the discussion goes nowhere, as musically wittily noted.

The reason that people are even bothering to criticize this film is interesting to me. As nabisco said, the fact that the book's effect on girls' self-images is being discussed is something you can talk about without reading the book. The content of the criticisms, which I'm sure are valid, are not so, probably because I haven't read the book, but feel free to discuss them!

musically: I have no idea what you are saying.

The content of the criticisms, which I'm sure are valid, are not so interesting to me, probably because I haven't read the book...

Violence and sexism, the two hallmarks of manly man movies, have been analyzed to death and continue to be. You say above that we should avoid overanalyzing young female-oriented films because it's sexist. I'm saying that we should analyze them just as much, and to treat the genre gently is, as you say, patronizing and paternalistic.

The reason that people are even bothering to criticize this film is interesting to me. As nabisco said, the fact that the book's effect on girls' self-images is being discussed is something you can talk about without reading the book. The content of the criticisms, which I'm sure are valid, are not so, probably because I haven't read the book, but feel free to discuss them!

musically: I have no idea what you are saying.

right back atcha...seriously though, I cannot parse that paragraph, even with your correction.

On the train tonight, both the man across from me and woman next to me were reading Twilight. Do people have no shame? I was embarrassed to be seen reading Dreams From My Father post-election.

PW claims that the vampire market is now saturated, next up zombies and various other undeads:

http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6615438.html?nid=2788

Violence and sexism, the two hallmarks of manly man movies, have been analyzed to death and continue to be. You say above that we should avoid overanalyzing young female-oriented films because it's sexist. I'm saying that we should analyze them just as much, and to treat the genre gently is, as you say, patronizing and paternalistic.

My point is that the manly man movie discussion is essentially over. Nobody gives a shit any more, including both you and me, and I can't remember the last time I read a serious article about it. And the same discussion is going to be boring about this movie, but serious people are wading into it despite this, which is due to paternalism (and novelty).

My point is that the manly man movie discussion is essentially over. Nobody gives a shit any more

Except, of course, anyone coming along who has never been involved in that kind of discussion.

I don't have a burning fear that girls are going to see Twilight and immediately hook up with domineering goth boys

There's no need - they already do. I know of 3 or 4 specific cases of loosely goth-scene men in their 30s and 40s who explicitly prey on 16-21 year old girls in precisely this manner. One of them finally ended up in court for some kind of sexual assault charge related to this kind of shit.

But for some reason, young girls drawn to this kind of scene seem drawn to overpowering, domineering older men, to the point of allowing a level of... well, abuse is too strong a word, but I'm not sure how to put it.

xp, true.

So after this book seemed to infect every woman, from 17 to 40 at my workplace, and has captured the affections of tweens to soccer moms across the nation I thought I would read them for purely selfish reasons in the hopes I might learn something about women I didn't know before. I only made it halfway through the first one before stopping. I wasn't "sickened" I just didn't get it and it didn't hold my interest. The only impressions I got, and I know I'm not saying anything useful here, was that Bella was really REALLY boring, and that Edward Cullen has had more prose spilled about how insanely hot, talented, charming, sculpted, athletic, mesmerizing & sexy he is than any mortal or immortal, fictional or non in history. Despite these voyeuristic passages, nothing especially hot & heavy or anything that made the pulse race a little faster was memorable.

So...what is it? I think discussions about whether YA fiction like this has merit or is fun is beside the point. Why is this particular series sooooo overwhelmingly popular, with young & adult women? Why is the core fanbase seemingly 95% female? Does this series have a devoted queer fanbase? I find the snobbishness expressed by the lead actor towards the books & the fanbase off putting and yet I have the same sentiments. Am I being purely reactionary?

And as a side note, is there a comparable phenomenon with young & adult men?

And as a side note, is there a comparable phenomenon with young & adult men?

Porn.

My point is that the manly man movie discussion is essentially over.

I'm not really in the loop when it comes to the current state of film criticism, but when you say "manly man movie discussion," does that mean...general discussion of how film reflects, reinforces, or shapes gender roles/identity? Because when you brought up teen guy movies, I immediately thought of Superbad, just like Roz. There was some critical discussion of how females are portrayed in the Apatow movies that I remember finding interesting at the time, but I don't have a sense for whether it was taken seriously or if everyone just went YAWN OLD MEME.

Anyway, we're talking about big-M Media when everyone knows full well that the real battleground for the STOP TWILIGHT TAKE BACK THE NIGHT movement will be in comments to Facebook status updates.

I just saw this for my radio show. Hoo boy.

I simply enjoyed the book and have been looking forward to the movie and now Ilx has muddled it all up for me. Thanks ILx!

I will provide you with a 35-year-old woman's review by the morrow.

I spent a while trying to think of a comparable "worrisome" young-boy culture-item mania, couldn't put my finger on a perfect example, and then turned on the TV and saw an ad for Jackass. That's probably not a bad one.

As a chick, and having read a fair amount of female-penned criticism of Twilight's perceived anti-feminism, I'm concerned that the book/movie glorifies a type of relationship that is agency-depriving and leads to the sublimation of personal ambition. ... I do think the audience for the books and movie is widespread enough that pointing out and discussing its underlying values is meaningful.

I'm probably just belaboring the same point I was making above, but yeah, here's the thing: at this point our culture is more comfortable/experienced scrutinizing the values pointed at girls than those pointed at boys. I mean, of course we see lots of female-penned scrutiny of this stuff, because we live in a time where women (and men) are conscious of how we construct feminine roles and the ways lots of us want to change them for the better. We are not conscious in the same way of the construction of masculine roles -- we worry about boys' behavior in a results-based "don't hurt people" way, but we don't much scrutinize messages about their roles and ways of being.

IOW, it's completely okay in our society for a guy to be completely fucked up in the head as long as he doesn't rape someone with a chainsaw, is the point I think nabisco is trying to get across.

Ha, yeah, that's part of it.

Maybe a good example would be this. You'll sometimes hear people say that one reason porn is bad is that it gives men unrealistic expectations about the female body, and that this mentality diminishes the esteem and well-being of the women those men interact with. That's how we're used to analyzing things, and that's good and fair and important: we're finally sensitive now to how culture affects the lives of women. But what you probably won't hear anyone say is that porn is bad because it gives men unrealistic expectations about the female body, and that diminishes the happiness and relationships of those men themselves. We have no corresponding ability to be paternalistic about the well-being of men, because we often think of men as having complete agency, and figure that so long as we keep them from hurting anyone, they have total control over everything else, and aren't impacted by culture in any way.

Hahaha the ultimate point being that even if some Twilight analogue for boys came around, so long as no one thought it would encourage them to victimize anyone, cause any property damage, or wind up in the hospital, we'd have way less concern that they were being warped by weird subtexts -- we'd just say it was juvenile boy stuff and ignore it.

Well, I'm not sure how well it worked out, on the grand scale, to teach boys to be upright, morally uncompromising heroes who would use their powers to protect those physically weaker and less courageous than themselves. Somewhere between popular literature of the '30s and '40s and real life in, say, 2008, it raised a generation or two of self-righteous bullies who got us into the shitfest of the last 8 years or so, and spawned a host of religious programming about focusing on other people's families.

On an individual scale people care TONS about boys' behavior and what roles are being offered them, I've got a sluagh of books on the subject myself. And lots of boys turn into men who are awesome and good-of-heart, so obv lots of people are doing something right. We just haven't had another cultural dialog about it on the same scale as the ones about girls, and after girls got NOTHING but pap for a hundred years, I'm not really thinking an apology is warranted? Which I know isn't what you're saying, but I'm just throwing it out there.

By the way, I have no background in history, sociology, gender studies, or anything else interesting, I just make this shit up from things I read about on the internet.

i remember having a very similar conversation, geared specifically toward college graduation rates of men/women (the line of thought being, sort of, "why do we care so much about the underrepresentation of some groups and not others")

my memory is that the women participating in the conversation, not that theyre representative (or right), mostly felt like its a power issue; i.e., its important to care about under-representation (or this case, negative, uh, messaging, or whatever) when it concerns groups who, broadly speaking, aren't "in power," but when groups "in power" aren't going to college at the rates they should, or are being taught dumb and emotionally unhealthy things by "the media," well, like, tough titty for them, 'cause theyre in power and should change it themselves.

Hahaha the ultimate point being that even if some Twilight analogue for boys came around, so long as no one thought it would encourage them to victimize anyone, cause any property damage, or wind up in the hospital, we'd have way less concern that they were being warped by weird subtexts -- we'd just say it was juvenile boy stuff and ignore it.

― nabisco, Friday, November 21, 2008 1:50 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

ok now i get what youve been saying

Yeah, Laurel, part of why I keep talking around the issue is that I'm very much trying to avoid suggesting there's anything unnatural or bad about not scrutinizing masculinity in that way -- I think our priorities are well-placed to be spotlighting the opposite side. And yes, when you take it down to an individual level, there are loads of spaces where people's concern is unfairly directed at encouraging boys.

But I do wonder, when we're analyzing pop culture and such, whether we sometimes get an incomplete picture by focusing on male behavior and female well-being.

Max, I think there's an element of that response that really really confuses aggregate power with individual power, and this is something that sometimes grates on me in these situations -- it's really dangerous to pretend those aggregate power dynamics must also describe every individual interaction. (This is partly what I mean about imagining individual men as having unchecked agency and somehow being outside of cultural influence!)

nabisco, I would be willing to debate that a lot of the dearth of conversation about values & goals for boys is that we can't AGREE on the curriculum in a unified, monolithic way anymore? I think that's probably not a bad thing, it could mean that boys have such a variety of options now, depending on the examples set for them and the values they're raised around, that it's less plausible to talk about a kind of cultural consensus about how they should be.

lol well i probably dont have to reveal that the conversation im talking abt took place in a 'critical theory & social justice 101' class in college, which is an environment ripe for oversimplifying complicated dynamics of power

could mean that boys have such a variety of options now, depending on the examples set for them and the values they're raised around, that it's less plausible to talk about a kind of cultural consensus about how they should be

Oh geez, I think this is totally untrue, actually. I think we're just very inured to the many many ways that masculine roles are constantly drilled into boys; we take them totally for granted. We also make the assumption that men have agency and have naturally chosen those things, as if they haven't been drilled in and socially pressured every bit as much as lots of feminine roles. Possibly one reason they're invisible is that one major masculine role is not to point them out or complain about them.

^^^^ truth

btw I feel sorry for any sons I have because I know how I was raised and how that will translate to how I raise my sons ;_; man life is going to SUCK for them if they get bullied

so many middle-aged ex-Trekkie gay men will go to this movie this weekend (not me).

Hm okay, I think we're looking at different angles, but I think you're right in the direction that you're going.

I guess...I'm just brainstorming but what if the "traditional" masculinity of let's say 50 years ago, since that's the imaginary time when people who like that kind of thing always want to return to, what if the thing about the masculine role was that it only suited you to grow up into the world the way it was then? To be a good "man".

And now that the specifically "man-shaped" role is...in serious decline in an age of graphic designers who make beautiful books and call a plumber for the sink, and men who choose to be SAH dads, and so on, that all we can do is try to raise boys to be good PEOPLE. And that's like the side of a barn, really, but if you didn't have really specific ideas about how to do that, the "new" way doesn't give you a lot of guidance?

I'm actually thinking about boys as kids who will reflect what they're exposed to and expected to take on, more than as people with mature agency who will "choose" or "not choose" certain qualities.

My friends who saw this last night said it was horrible fwiw.

I'm thinking in particular of this book, which I read probably 6 years ago so it's a little fuzzy but I remember being very affected, in tears repeatedly, and wishing that more people I cared about would realize their shit and be healed of it or whatever.

http://www.williampollack.com/images/real_boys_pb.jpg

Hey somebody go ahead and spoil for me the crazy thing that happens in the 4th book that there's no way they can film.

its been spoild like six times

she gets pregnant and the baby like breaks all of her bones so her vampire boyfriend has to eat it out of her

I don't think my sister's read that far yet and I'm looking forward to another "SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE".

haha oh snap!

Bon appetit.

Finke sez:

Summit Entertainment tells me Twilight midnight shows made "north of $7 million" Thursday. That's a big number. Here are some other updates on the Twilight zone phenomenon: major online ticket-seller Fandango has been selling 5 Twilight tickets per second as of early this morning. According to an online poll, 34% of moviegoers said they will take off a few hours from school or the office today to see the pic. It’s Fandango's fastest-selling film since The Dark Knight in July of this year. It now occupies the #3 spot on Fandango’s list of Top Advance Ticket-Sellers, surpassing the Harry Potter, Pirates Of The Caribbean, and Lord of the Rings movies. (Only Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and The Dark Knight remain in the #1 and #2 spots, respectively.) Twilight also finished in the No. 5 slot on MovieTickets.com's Top-5 Presellers of All-Time, one spot ahead of Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert and one behind Dark Knight.

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Want to know a spoiler that'll make you want to not read the book?

Bella dear gets pregnant with Edward's baby with I find stupid. Because in order for Bella to get pregnant Edward needs to have blood flowing with in him, which in turn cause's erections because the blood flows to his penis making it hard. Yes, I'm going into detail but it doesn't make sense!
How can he even have sperm? HE NEEDS TO BE LIVING TO HAVE THAT TOO!

Oh, Bella gives birth to a baby girl with Jacob imprints on.

Exciting, isn't it? ^o)
3 months ago

yeah the other unfilmable thing is that the werewolf falls in love with a 2 month old girl and everyone is cool with it, but its not unfilmable cause its graphic its unfilmable cause its some weird supernatural rulon jeffs shit

Okay, I know I have made that joke in Buffy-related contexts before, but seriously, in stories where resurrected undead bloodless monsters are walking around talking to people and going to high school for hundreds of years, it's a bit silly to suddenly become a cardiovascular stickler when it comes to erections

Guys you are forgetting the cornerstone of any physiological discussion of the Twilight vampires: VENOM. According to the author, "most" bodily fluids are changed to venom once a person becomes a vampire (what she really means is "all bodily fluids except, for plot purposes, sperm"). So venom boners are totally canon and accounted for.

Got a preview screening Thursday night. My review, in a word is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! [wipes tears]. First, there's Cedric/Edward scowling about the place like he's got a massive eye headache or just smelled a fart; EVERYONE has the most blindingly white teeth you've ever seen; Edward reveals his sparkliness but instead he looks like he has some kind of awful sparkly excema; his feats of superhuman speed just look like superfastforwarding, like someone accidentally sat on the remote control ; then, ohmygod the baseball. Seriously, even if you've never played or never even watched baseball, you will KNOW that they're terrible. But the movie tries so hard to make them look superhumanly talented. Watch for Alice the Pitcher.
Seriously, I laughed til I cried so many times...and a lot of people, admittedly not all of them fans, were laughing equally. I swear, I'm going to see it again just so I can laugh like that all over again. Preferably with many beers.

meyers is totally grossed out by a common question regarding vampires, young women and blood, and will not answer it.
What happens when Bella has her period?

Quite obviously she cannot play baseball.

Cue: Nadja....

Okay, I know I have made that joke in Buffy-related contexts before, but seriously, in stories where resurrected undead bloodless monsters are walking around talking to people and going to high school for hundreds of years, it's a bit silly to suddenly become a cardiovascular stickler when it comes to erections

― nabisco, Friday, November 21, 2008 11:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

lol watched a buffy with vampire sex tonight and found myself thinking "but how...?"

Why did I read three of these books? NOW it's a festival of discussions -before I was dropping Twilight" into the conversation and met with blank stares, and then outright disdain when I tried to splain it.

It's a book about these vampires, and the young female protagonist... yeah, whatever.However, the movie looks pretty good.

In my analysis of why I was strangely compelled to read three books of the Twilight
series I recalled being quite the fan of Victoria Holt - true bodice rippers.
I also took a look at the AHA video, "Take On Me", which I have decided is better than the entire Twilight series.
Or it is AS good, but it's three plus minutes to sum up all those romantic notions teenage girls have. Without any crummy subtexts about losing virginity or not. Everyone knows they're totally going to sleep with the hot lead singer of A-Ha who appears out of a comic book. Newspaper. A comic in a newspaper? Whatever, DREAMY!!

I have been giving this a lot of thought.

your name is Gary????

When we left the theater last night my friend said "You didn't tell me it was going to be so funny!" It wasn't supposed to be THAT funny.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. So bad though that it was pretty hilarious. Dialogue, which was mostly lifted straight from the book, sounded horrible on the big screen. The soundtrack was incredibly distracting. I felt like we were watching the Hills or something. Acting, wooden. And I wasn't sure if Rob Pattison A. was trying to sound old-fashioned like 1901 Edward might have been, B. couldn't quite get the American accent down or C. was a bit special.

We got to the theater an hour early and had to spend that time in a line that went into the parking lot. I've seen several Harry Potter movies on opening night there and have never had to wait in such a long line. And we still had to sit on the second row.

Crowd was all adult, pretty equal mix of male/female and the theater served sangria in blood bags.

good times.

the theater served sangria in blood bags

There needs to be more of this.

And not for just Twilight! I can think of several movies I have sat through where sangria in blood bags would have really helped out.

i saw a group of 6-7 teenage goth kids walk a lap around a dick's sporting goods store at 11 am this morning. it seemed, uh, highly probable that they were just killing time before the first showing of twilight at the theater next door.

Upon leaving the theater today from seeing the new Bond, confronted with two huge lines for Twilight showings later that afternoon.

My college-aged sister saw this today with her friends. She said that it was good because it was so hilarious, but that anyone watching who hadn't read the book would probably be mystified.

She also said that months of seeing Robert Pattinson in interviews and paparazzi candids made her feel like she was just watching Robert Pattinson make acting choices, and not watching "Edward." Her friends thought so too and apparently this increased their collective enjoyment.

I think I'm going to see this again this week. Need a non-crick-in-the-neck viewing.

I saw it on a whim tonight. At 7:15 my friend decided she wanted to get tickets for a 7:50 showing, and I thought there was no way that would happen, but Slumdog Millionaire was sold out with Twilight still available. The theater ended up being less than 1/3 full--I guess that Upper East Side isn't a hot bed of vampirism. I loved it! In the so bad it's awesome sense. Pattinson seemed to be channeling Dean and Brando--his accent sounded very 50s Americana. The horrible thing is that I read the first book and thought I was done with the series, but this movie is now making me want to go on to the second.

The first book was the best, it all goes pretty downhill from there.

Doubtless there are millions of other examples out there but the comments here between pro- and anti-viewers reach some crazy levels. An example:

Well, I’m 58 and a Dad that was forced to drive six sweet teens to the midnight show. I planned on a great nap. I hadn’t read the book and didn’t expect much. This film was stunning...and I am totally straight.

six sweet teens

creepy

six sweet teens

do not gis

jesus

Meantime, made $70 million over the weekend.

http://uktop40.republika.pl/sp/the_sweet-the_six_teens_s.jpg

By the way, that Pollack book is totally bananas-- I read it as a young teenager, and was like, "Oh fuck, so that's it." The chapter on gender roles and homosexuality is quite well-written, as I remember.

Also, this Twilight hysteria is so weird. I do not understand-- wasn't this trope dated by the time I finished middle school? (Ten years ago?)

When they're young they get Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus.

When they're a bit older they get a bunch of vampires who look like they're addicted to heroin?

Perhaps indicative of an entre into darker times.

I saw this today. It was hysterical. I can't tell if it was supposed to be hysterical, but it was. Surely Edward catching Bella's scent and nearly horfing up his stomach was meant to be funny? Or at the end when Jacob is talking to Bella, and Edward cuts in and gives Jacob this hilariously indignant look, like "YOU CRETINOUS ASSHOLE HOW DARE YOU"? There's no way they were shooting for actual earnest melodrama in some of those scenes, surely.

Fuck some motherfuckers for putting Radiohead's "15 Step" over the end credits, though.

i finally read this last week and was extremely disappointed. after all the shit-talking on this thread, i was convinced my low expectations meant i would get out a kick out of it... but it really isn't very good. nothing very exciting happens till right at the end. the endless commenting on ed's good looks - so tiresome!

the thing that really confounded me: bella's enjoyment of ed's 'icy touch'. i mean, seriously?? i love my boyfriend enough to let him warm his cold feet between my legs, but that's on a pretty goddamn rare occasion.

There's more action in the later novels, less Edward-gazing.

bunch of vampires who look like they're addicted to heroin?

Isn't this all vampires?

Pattison was chewing the scenery a lot. That first time he smells her, hilarious. Later when there's the flashback to Carlise turning him and when he's sucking the venom out of Bella. Oh god.

http://www.riskybusinessblog.com/2008/11/twilight-the-co.html

At about 1:00 am Friday morning in Union Square in New York, veteran Twilight fans watched as Edward Cullen looked deep into Bella Swan's eyes and uttered the trademark line, “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.” A titter was heard among the crowd.

That's all it took to send the audience howling into laughter.

This was only one of many instances in which lines that were tolerably romantic in the book were entirely too corny to be taken seriously on screen. "Twilight" may have received some not great reviews from critics, but no one would judge the film as harshly as the tweens and twenty-somethings who made the book such a sensation.

it really isn't very good. nothing very exciting happens till right at the end. the endless commenting on ed's good looks - so tiresome!

But I said this! Or well, almost. Just in case anyone missed it: the books are Not Very Good and could be only half as long if Bella would STFU about the same things over and over.

I read the draft of "Midnight Sun" which is on the author's Web site (first book told through Edward's pov - well first 12 chapters anyway). Much more enjoyable than the published one.

xpost
i know! but i don't always listen to ilx!

Laurel, my libary system is having a hard time getting extra copies of this book. Do you guys have an extra printing planned?

six sweet teens = goof on sweet sixteens?

Twilight in fifteen minutes

EDWARD: Wait, why is my not-dad there?

CARLISLE: Bella, I'm so sorry... your father's weird friend was killed by a feral plot point.

Hahahaha!

god i love her fifteen minute reviews.

or recaps, rather.

Mary, I order another million copies about every 3 days!!!! That's all I do! All my other reprints are going to hell!

lolling at IMDB Pro starmeter this week:

1 Robert Pattinson
2 Kristen Stewart
3 Nikki Reed
4 Peter Facinelli
5 Ashley Greene
6 Jackson Rathbone
7 Taylor Lautner
8 Kellan Lutz
9 Cam Gigandet
10 Billy Burke

Last couple of weeks have been crazy for our film to the extent that D1sney (D1sney!) started sniffing around distribution. We are apparently going to sign something with one of the interested parties next week. thank u twilight!

that's great news! the studios are like rabid dogs when it comes to 'drafting' off other movies. Maybe they'll start a bidding war :) I work for a DVD distribution company, I'm sure it'll sell like hotcakes, especially as a rental title.

for real. one day I will tell the full story on this thread. it was an adventure.

I work in a busy bookstore, and this Twilight bullshit is kind of annoying. We sell a LOT of these, they take up tons of space, and I'm tired of looking at the creepy, life-sized cardboard cutout of Bella and what's-his-face we've got.

I got through page 167 and just stopped reading this because, as someone said above, she never shuts up, and reading it made me feel like I was becoming more stupid with each page.

I hate writing this. So after seeing the movie, I caved and read the books. Am just finishing #3 now.

They are the worst kind of cheese, a total mormon cockblock extravaganza. They go against everything I love about books, reading, humans, etc. Totally maddening. And yet, despite all my best inclinations, I continue to read them. God help me, I've seen the movie 3 times.

(sobs) Don't ask me to explain it because I CAN'T. Except that Robert Pattinson somehow collapsed my synapses. I am losing brain cells as we speak.

the power of trash really is amazing

no kidding. It's the book version of a Twinkie. There's NO logical explanation for it.

Scandal!:

Summit Entertainment Co-Chairman/CEO Rob Friedman just phoned me to add: "Catherine and Summit have agreed to part ways on the sequel because our visions are different." The start-up studio's hastily prepared statement (below) notes: "Summit’s targeted end of 2009 or early 2010 release of the film, New Moon, does not work with Ms. Hardwicke’s required prep time to bring her vision of the film to the big screen."

oh my god that is the most transparent CEO statement I have ever seen

i'm sure she envisioned a lot more money than he did

I'm sure she didn't want to make another shitty movie in just a few months, so they can edit it and add the spec effects in time for a fall 2009 release.

LOL:

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302028384&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442193019&bmUID=1229042985652

BURN DOWN HOT TOPIC

advice for life

i will get hell for this but

a) i kind of liked this movie
b) i think that the teen vampire dude is kinda hot
c) i kinda like the paramore song on this soundtrack

total mormon cockblock extravaganza

Thank you for this.

i will get hell for this but

a) i kind of liked this movie
b) i think that the teen vampire dude is kinda hot
c) i kinda like the paramore song on this soundtrack

I went into this movie expecting Showgirls-levels lulz, but it actually was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. It was even pretty good if you consider the source material. I would agree with b and c except b makes me feel too To Catch A Predator-y.

no one will begrudge you for finding rpattz hot

When people sign up for our mailing list they can leave a comment. Here are some examples. I have literally 2,100 of these to go through since Twilight came out (no lie).

I was doing research on Mr. Pattinson and although I totally approve of the depth in which he portraied Edward Cullen in his latest flick. (which if you ask me Cullen's shoes are hard to fill being the most beautiful creature in the world in every sense) I truly believe he must have prodigious talent I'm awefully eager to experience from as far as the big screen or closer.

I'm certain that nothing but awesome performances will come from this man specially after viewing twilight. I felt a sense of addiction developing. Oddly, I felt a need for more but refused to believe it was just the perfect interpretation of Edward whom I've fallen in love with.
After doing so me research I've found I was right. I viewed his other work and I am sure now i'm a junkie for Mr. Pattinson's work indepedently from his recent 108 year old character performance.

I found an interview on youtube.com with Robert which looked like it took place in a hotel room maybe and the interviewer told Robert she had seen a trailer of some sort of the English movie "H0w To B3" and asked why it doesn't have a distributor yet. Of coarse this intrigued me, so I Googled it and saw the trailer myself and here I am. I liked it. I think it looks funny,sweet and honest and the best part, the struggling character is played by Robert Pattinson. I would really like to see this go to DVD so I can have it in my collection! He's naturally a funny man from interviews I've seen, and he has a way of pulling you in that seems to be just his being. He seems very likeable and normal. I think that's a quality of the English. I adore that. They have a way of being incredibley attracive because they are so honest. I think Americans can tend to put fronts on. He's juicey, seems quite intelligent. I'm not sure if he can dance, that woud make him a triple threat in Hollywood I guess ;o) But seriously, who cares. He's won me over. I hated the death seen in Harry Potter, Losing Cedric meant losing Robert on screen. After that, I was watching for things to come and I am so happy with Twilight. I never heard of the book before. It was because Robert was in it that intrigued me. What an awesome treat he plays Edward! Blew me away completely. I now understand the mania. I'm not a nut, but I saw Twilight 3 days in a row, the last time by myself and it was simply heaven. I found Edward absolutely captivating and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I wish I could thank Robert for bringing this character to me. Life is good.

I really can't wait to see the movie!
You guys might think that I only want to watch it because of Robert Pattinson but that is not the only reason why. I adore Indie films. I think Indie films are ONLY best kind of films out there. It gives you a moral and feel the emotions of the character throughout the film not like big Blockbusters. I thought you guys should know (: I'm very thankful for you Indie filmmakers out there!

Chris Weitz is the next director. His message to the fans makes saccharine seem like acidic bile.

First of all, like you, I'm sad that Catherine is not continuing on with us for New Moon.

this actually made the hair on my arms stand up

one of us one of us

This fucking movie.

didja take a hot date, dom?

i haven't read this yet, but it's supposed to have a pretty good go at explaining all this nonsense: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200812/twilight-vampires

A brilliant coup.

Just looking at that Atlantic article, and this seems like as good a thread as any to mention that I get really irked by stuff like this:

It introduces into a household the adult passions and jealousies that have long gone to ground in most middle-aged parents, a state of affairs that is particularly difficult for girls, who have a more complicated attitude toward their own emerging sexuality than do boys, and who are far more rooted in the domestic routines and traditions of their families, which constitute the vital link between the sweet cocooning of childhood and their impending departure from it.

It's not that I much doubt that this is true, but honestly, this is the sort of thing I'd be more comfortable hearing from a child psychologist or something, not breezily asserted as fact by a culture writer on grounds of ... what? Conventional wisdom? Anecdote? (If I read further, am I going to get the sense that she's done some background research in the literature regarding gender differences in teenage responses to divorce?)

Okay, checking on the author would seem to indicate that this sort of territory is her bailiwick in a culture-only way -- she studied art history and writes about culture but would appear to feel oddly confident writing things like this:

The salient fact of an adolescent girl’s existence is her need for a secret emotional life—one that she slips into during her sulks and silences, during her endless hours alone in her room, or even just when she’s gazing out the classroom window while all of Modern European History, or the niceties of the passé composé, sluice past her. This means that she is a creature designed for reading in a way no boy or man, or even grown woman, could ever be so exactly designed, because she is a creature whose most elemental psychological needs—to be undisturbed while she works out the big questions of her life, to be hidden from view while still in plain sight, to enter profoundly into the emotional lives of others—are met precisely by the act of reading.

^^ this claim is romantic-sounding and maybe tempting but also has a strong whiff of bullshit coming off of it, possibly the solipsistic bullshit of imagining that your own vivid experience of a particular moment cannot possibly be shared by anyone who is not like you ... all this language trying to make it sound romantic, but what exactly is the basis of this claim that only teenage girls need to "work out the big questions" or have "secret emotional lives?"

yeah, seriously, change a term or two in that, and you get the same pattern or effect for when (certain?) guys go in for sci-fi at a particular age.

I stopped reading the article at that point.

Ok I've seen this twice now and absolutely adore it. But boy do the haters here seem so threatened! And what do we have just a few posts up? The tyranny of evidence again? Hmmm.

Anyhoo, haters, instead of going back and forth on this one, what do you think are some good films for the tween set (besides Xanadu of course)?

the wizard of oz

serpico

francis ford coppola's dracula

maximum overdrive

what do you think are some good films for the tween set (besides Xanadu of course)?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

"The Apple"

The rifftrax for this movie is awesome.

xpost -- A good film for anyone, that.

<3 the Apple

Yeah The Apple is pretty jaw-dropping although that one porny number towards the end might make it a no-no for the tween set.

If I am remembering my tween years correctly, the porny number is precisely why I'd be watching "The Apple" in the first place.

Kind of like this movie was really all about the inexplicable porny interludes: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083959/

Ha for a moment I was thinking 'Forbidden Zone' and was like 'damn that would be some sad masturbation.'

i liked the film but im a sucker for teen melodrama

Meanwhile, back to the subject at hand:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0115707f8501970b-320wi

are his nipples in twilight?

CAN'T WAIT FOR NEW MOON

CAN'T WAIT FOR WUFFS!

Wait, what do we have just a few posts up? Haha people being weirded out per usual by Caitlin Flanagan in ways totally unrelated to Twilight

twilight dude is pretty dreamy tbh

btw what ned posted was fan made thank god

That poster needs shiny holographic ink on the torso.

I've noticed that a lot of old people think twilight is really cool. by old I mean like older than 25

I had a dream last night that there was this new really cool series of books. The covers looked a lot like the Twilight covers except they had purple accents instead of red. The name of the series was VAMPIRE.

this book and film has changed my life so i am totally cool with it.

Hahaha carefully phrased. (So wait, your movie's out now, right? Some sort of period piece thing?)

not so much carefully phrased as i still haven't read the books or seen the film!

ours is on ifc festival direct in the u.s. now. just got back from the screening tour, which was crazy. didn't have time to go on the whole tour because of work, but it's nice to get a free trip to new york from time to time. (this is what i mean when i say it's changed my life.) dvd is out in the uk next week. us dvd release is being timed to new moon release.

it's kind of a young adult comedy thing, i guess, present day london. you might be thinking of the one where he plays gay salvador dali, which came out a couple of weeks ago and is doing ok. i think the twilight fans are finding it quite heavy going, and because it got a cinema release it's getting proper reviews, which are not being kind.

Yeah it's screening at the local art theater across the street from campus -- and his name is rather prominently featured on the marquee.

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/film_review.asp?ID=4291

one of my close friends saw 'How To Be' in San Jose not long ago, and she really loved it (and that's aside from abiding rpattz love). What was your involvement, caek?

Also: Ned thank you for that poster. WEEE!!

Pattinson plays Dali in that other film? Good god. Talk about miscasting.

I've noticed that a lot of old people think twilight is really cool. by old I mean like older than 25

I was helping an older student today (maybe mid-50s), and her laptop had pictures of Robert Pattinson and quotes from Edward/Twilight books as the background.

Nice to know I'm old now }:\

The Rifftrax for this was great, my two sisters held Twilight Rifftrax parties for their college-age and middle-school friends respectively and both groups loved it.

Also I'm disappointed to learn that Little Ashes is actually a real film, and not just Rpattz making faces with a false moustache for two hours.

http://i44.tinypic.com/1iy4xf.jpg

Hahahah what the hell, is he trying to (very badly) channel Depp or something?

Is that from the film?

*slowly takes off glasses*

Heaven help us all...

Hahaha the ultimate point being that even if some Twilight analogue for boys came around, so long as no one thought it would encourage them to victimize anyone, cause any property damage, or wind up in the hospital, we'd have way less concern that they were being warped by weird subtexts -- we'd just say it was juvenile boy stuff and ignore it.

― nabisco, Friday, November 21, 2008 7:50 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark

HAHA

It's historically ironic Pattison becomes a sex symbol playing a vampire. The modern day vampire is, after all, based on Lord Byron.

http://www.praxxis.co.uk/credebyron/vampyre.htm

one of my close friends saw 'How To Be' in San Jose not long ago, and she really loved it (and that's aside from abiding rpattz love). What was your involvement, caek?

i am in it for nearly 15 seconds! (also ass. producer and graphic design stuff, title cards, shots of books, etc.)

I am desperately trying to finish book but it's so utterly boring. I d'led and watched the film TWICE. Well, half-watched twice so I guess that amounts to seeing it fully, right? It's so ridiculous but I guess it must be highly entertaining for 15 year old girls whose parents actually don't mind/sort of approve. Jaq, I love how you explained the mormony side to it although I do prefer the description "abstinence pron" better.

That said, I have to admit that I did like Bella and Edward in the film. Also I love the atmosphere of the film/city. The story's shite though. NO SUCKY TIME AT ALL. Blergh!

This movie is hilarious.

still haven't seen this or read the books. wkiw rpattz tho.

amazing how the quality is really on a normal mst3k movie level when watching with the rifftrax.

Am I actually going to have to give in and rent this thing for the Rifftrax, then?

No you're just going to have to forget this Rifftrax bull and just give in PERIOD. Let yourself go. Peel off those layers of irony and resistance and just freakin' give in. Unclench, y'all, unclench.

dude

unclench max

my mind is being blown by kevin john bozelkas authentic experience of movies

as a hater i am deeply threatened

and jealous

Peel off those layers of irony and resistance and just freakin' give in.

is "irony and resistance" code for "scarf and crucifix" here?

caitlin flanagan is srsly the worst btw

i wish i wasn't too ironic to enjoy twilight, even ironically

its ironic that the only thing keeping me from loving twilight is my many layers of irony

if only i could enjoy movies instead of merely "enjoy" them

u can bro - just unclench

i keep trying but i can only "unclench"

These books have changed my life. I still hate them.

i hear of ppl i know getting into these because they're so good!!! and it's like a zombie movie where you suddnely see an old friend shuffling around outside your boarded up house with her arms stretched forward

all unclenched

A friend of mine a couple of months back talked about reading them all in one huge fell swoop and loving them very much and how they reminded her of high school. (This made me wonder about her high school.)

yah most of the vampires @ my school were jewish

never change, KJB

never clench

lol laurel

Am I actually going to have to give in and rent this thing for the Rifftrax, then?

Yes, do it! Don't worry about clenching and get the rifftrax too.

Not thinking about clenching one way or the other is probably just good general life advice.

ST. LOUIS — A St. Louis beauty salon owner accidentally happened upon one of the hottest Hollywood scripts — the pages from an upcoming "Twilight" sequel — in a trash bin.

Casey Ray found two scripts, one for the vampire sequel "New Moon" and one for a different movie titled "Memoirs." She decided to return them to the studio making the films. In return, she was invited to attend the movies' premieres, her lawyer said.

Ray recently was waiting for her fiance to finish work when she spotted two scripts in a trash container. She was outside a hotel where actors were staying during a St. Louis shoot for the upcoming George Clooney movie, "Up in the Air."

It's not clear how the scripts wound up in the bin.

The Clooney movie includes actress Anna Kendrick, who is also in the "Twilight" vampire movie. A spokeswoman for Kendrick, Lisa Perkins, said the actress wouldn't have left scripts lying around.

When Ray found the scripts, she considered leaking them to a national tabloid but decided against it, said her lawyer, Al Watkins.

"My client didn't really want to get paid," he said, but she was interested in hanging onto the scripts as collector's items.

Watkins helped her return them to Los Angeles-based Summit Entertainment LLC, the studio making the movies. He said the studio invited Ray to premieres for the two films, and will certify the scripts as authentic after the movies are released.

"Summit doesn't comment on any of the deals it does," Summit spokesman Paul Pflug said. But he added, "We thank Ms. Ray for doing the right thing."

The "Twilight" movies are based on the novels of Stephenie Meyer, so many of the plot turns are well known to readers. But keeping the "New Moon" script written by Melissa Rosenberg out of the public eye preserves which elements of the book will be included in the films, Pflug noted.

Last year's original "Twilight" film grossed over $350 million worldwide.

Yes, do it! Don't worry about clenching and get the rifftrax too.

Trust me, I would be getting the Rifftrax first anyway!

Not thinking about clenching one way or the other is probably just good general life advice.

Do not listen to this person. This is very bad advice. Clenching leads to wars, poor digestion, general unpleasantness, and an inability to be completely ravished by Twilight.

Unclench, y'all, unclench (HI DERE)

I love it!

I fully support your desire to be ravished by Mormon vampires.

I think I can live with war if it means I will be Twilight-free.

Peel off those layers of irony and resistance and just freakin' give in.

It was either utter dislike or giggling endlessly. I mean, WTF is up with his sparkly skin if he's in the daylight? How the fuck do you come up with such a thing? Also, the kissing scene was just TANTALUS.

The next book is even better because Edward attempts SPARKLECIDE.

These books are lolarious and even though I feel guilty like I should be off reading something from the nytimes book review I do not regret the laughs they have provided me.

SPARKLECIDE

A tribute band name in ten years' time.

I doubt your commitment to sparklyskin motion!

Apparently this is the official poster for the next movie:

http://i43.tinypic.com/zjh2e9.jpg

Edward and Jacob look like they're jostling for elbow room on a crowded bus.

it captures the essence of the cheap, airbrushed, and bland quality of the enterprise. A-

hey guys i'm just popping in to say that my coworker (who has read the books 80797869 times) has been reading a leaked pdf of "midnight sun" or w/e the fuck its called that's the aborted companion novel from edward's perspective. she stepped away from the computer so thought i'd finally take a look at meyer's writing out of curiousity. my eyes fell on this line:

Can a cold, dead heart break? Mine did.

lol

can a cold, hard dick break? mine did

Priapus wept

WTF

Tip of the iceberg, surely.

Don't even mention tips in this context, gah.

okay, no

THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER

THIS IS THE SKIN VIBRATOR OF A KILLER

LOOK WHO'S SPARKLING NOW

http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/tor_andherstupidmouth/Robert%20Pattinson/0024s6rc.jpg
http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/tor_andherstupidmouth/Robert%20Pattinson/pattinson-shirtless-27may09-01.jpg
http://i462.photobucket.com/albums/qq342/tor_andherstupidmouth/Robert%20Pattinson/msg-124344284622-3.jpg

uh

Are those motion control dots, to add the proper sparkles?

YES

Then they switch him out with Gollum...

pfft, they could have saved some time by just giving the captured frames to blingee.com

Attempted sparklecide! I can't wait.

for those who havent read the lame books, in this moment edward is SPARKLING VIOLENTLY in a public square in VOLTERRA, ITALY in an attempt to get the more badass vampires to KILL HIM for revealing their sparkle powers.

...

these fucking books

also: what do you all think of

a) his airbrushed abs
b) his outfit

a) lol
b) eh

SPARKLING VIOLENTLY

Sounds like the title of Lady GaGa's next album.

Pattinson has a decentish body, the airbrushing was ridiculous and unnecessary -- but maybe they need it for the sparkly cgi?

yeah i guess i didn't realize that they airbrushed abs ~onto your body~

i think he's been working out pretty hard just for this sparkling scene

so i'm reading the first book now. so weird that edward's skin being cold as marble is presented as irresistible. also how the fact that he can't control his urge to KILL HER is presented as hot. :-/

Possibly the most annoying bit of this whole thing is how the author spells her name.

Next wave of official hype begins...:

Robert Pattinson is having an Obi-Wan Kenobi moment. Inside a soundstage where "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" is shooting, the lanky English heartthrob stands in front of a tall, wide green screen murmuring a tender admonition, "You promised me nothing reckless." Motion capture cameras hurtle toward him across a length of track affixed to the stage floor, while a team of technicians studies his stance and the tilt of his head.

The plan is to digitally insert Pattinson, who plays swoony good guy vampire Edward Cullen, into a scene that was filmed much earlier -- one in which he appears as a spectral vision to his costar, Kristen Stewart, cautioning her headstrong character, Bella Swan, against hanging out with some unsavory-looking biker types. For the effect to work, Pattinson's image will need to be dropped in at exactly the right position, so despite the cast and crew nearing the end of a very long early May day, perfectionism is still the standard.

The team working on this sequel to last year's Catherine Hardwicke-directed "Twilight," which brought in an unexpected $365 million worldwide for Summit Entertainment, is moving quickly to sustain the momentum of the sexy, youth-oriented franchise.

Between takes, Pattinson chats with the crew while director Chris Weitz stands several feet away, his arms folded behind his head. Visual effects, "that's not my thing," he concedes with a wry smile.

Many hours have been spent waiting for the sun to emerge from Vancouver's perpetual cloud bank. This week, Weitz and his team have been trying to film one of the few outdoor sequences that require bright natural light, but since the notoriously difficult British Columbian climate has refused to cooperate, the "New Moon" cast and crew are about to spend the better part of a 12-hour day inside the elaborate fiction of an Italianate marble hall complete with columns and engravings in Latin. Where else, after all, would the Volturi reside?

Today, that vampire ruling council is ruminating over the fate of Edward and Bella. Walking forward with his arms extended, Aro, played by British actor Michael Sheen, sporting blood-red contact lenses, offers a vaguely sinister greeting to his reluctant guests. The scene is replayed over and over, with Pattinson at one point leaving the set to consult with Weitz about a particular line of dialogue.

Standing by the monitors, the pair runs through a number of options while Stewart sits on the floor looking a little bored as she waits for the cameras to resume rolling. After several minutes, Pattinson, wearing a long, red robe and fake bruises painted beneath his eyes, returns to his mark and filming resumes.

cannot wait for their promo tour to go into full swing just for the sheer joy of robert pattinson quotes

this is odd btw that i'm actually more interested in the circus than the thing itself - still haven't read the books nor seen the first movie

Visual effects, "that's not my thing," he concedes with a wry smile.

Sounds a little funny coming from the dude who directed The Golden Compass. I never saw it, but if it was anything like the book it was 30% talking bears.

Maybe someone mentioned it upthread already, but I was amused to hear that the official script for New Moon contains the direction "we see him sparkle (but better than in Twilight)".

Robert Pattinson is having an Obi-Wan Kenobi moment.

Assumed this was going to be followed a quote along the lines of "Why am I in this piece of shit?"

Today, that vampire ruling council is ruminating over the fate of Edward and Bella. Walking forward with his arms extended, Aro, played by British actor Michael Sheen, sporting blood-red contact lenses, offers a vaguely sinister greeting to his reluctant guests.

This already sounds lolarious, poor Michael Sheen though.

Tony Blair...David Frost...ARO

Actually Frost/Nixon would have been great with Sheen in this getup and Langella recreating Dracula.

That sounds more like Bush/Cheney.

That would make for a good interview.

"Wait, why did I listen to you again?"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/howTwilightshouldhaveended.jpg

loooool

And of course, Comic-Con:

But first, a mini-review of the Comic-Con exclusive clips from the film (Note: This is a fan-centered write-up -- those not up on the "Twilight"-verse may be a little lost).

The first: A scene between Jacob and Bella just as she's learning to ride her motorcycle. In short, it's eye-candy central for "Twilight" fans. (This assessment is based purely on the number of ear-piercing screams that went off during two minutes of footage, of course.)

Bella is sunk and depressed but as she picks up speed, her visions of Edward admonishing her increase -- read: she whizzes by multiple hallucinations of Pattinson. Yessir, they've really managed to get around that whole Edward-being-gone-for-most-of-the-book thing. When she crashes, Jacob removes his shirt to stop the bleeding on her head. They have a charged moment.

Score one for Team Jacob.

Oh, but Team Edward comes back in full force for the second clip -- a surprising look at the climax of the film. Turns out Weitz really wanted to reward those who had camped out overnight for this because he brought never-before-seen footage of the moment when Bella rescues Edward from shirtless suicide in Italy.

It's a sea of red hoods in the middle of Venice's San Marco festival, with Bella pounding through the crowds toward the clock tower where she knows Edward is about to expose himself to the on-looking Volturi vampires. It's all slow-motion intensity, and Weitz should feel nothing but relieved that even a glimpse of Pattinson removing his shirt is enough to send these soon-to-be-ticket-holding moviegoers into a frenzy. Well played, sir, well played, indeed.

Plus Q&A stuff.

RPattz is back

Lautner is once again talking about acting with his shirt off. Oh come on, at this point he’s just doing it on purpose, Empire suspects there’s some kind of ‘scream bingo’ game going on amongst the cast. By our count Pattinson’s still in the lead. What scenes are they most excited about shooting in the next films?

Lautner: “The sleeping bag scene, the sleeping bag scene!” SCREAM!
Stewart: “I can’t wait to actually get pregnant.” SCREAM!
Pattinson: “I can’t wait to take part in the Caesarian.” Confused silence. Robert, that’s just weird. Perhaps he doesn’t undersand the rules.

<3 <3

fucking hilarious

What is the "sleeping bag scene"?

ha, the sleeping bag scene is quintessential Twilight: Bella, Edward, and Jacob are all camped out in the woods waiting for enemy vampires or something, and it's so cold that frail human Bella is totally going to freeze to death. The only way to keep her alive is for shirtless Jacob to climb into her sleeping bag and warm her with his body, while poor skin-like-an-icicle Edward has to sit there and angst about his inability to protect his girlfriend from hypothermia.

Also right after this Bella falls asleep, but somehow still manages to overhear a lengthy argument between the two guys about who loves her more.

oh dear. i'm guessing that's at the end of book 3 or in book 4? i stopped reading mid-book 3 so I guess I missed out on some important stuff.

http://newsroom.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/stewart_500.jpg

sigh

Hahaha I love it.

I wonder if now Twilight fans will start listening to Fugazi and shit, or if Minor Threat fans will start reading Twilight. There goes my promise to be less negative. Again: sigh

Get your own Kristen Stewart Minor Threat t-shirt!!!!
http://coolspotters.com/actresses/kristen-stewart/and/clothing/minor-threat-t-shirts-out-of-step

Scandal!:

Ron Howard's daughter, Bryce Dallas Howard ("Terminator: Salvation", "Spiderman 4", M. Night Shyamalan's "The Village" and "Lady in the Water") will step into the role of vampire Victoria in Summit's upcoming "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse."

Stepping down is actress Rachelle Lefevre, who portrayed Victoria in "Twilight" as well as the upcoming "New Moon."

The reason? "Scheduling conflicts."

I wonder if now Twilight fans will start listening to Fugazi and shit, or if Minor Threat fans will start reading Twilight. There goes my promise to be less negative. Again: sigh

― Unregistered Googler (stevienixed), Saturday, July 25, 2009 5:10 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

jeez that was SO negative

http://www.riskybusinessblog.com/2009/07/twilight-eclipse-rachelle-lefevre-victoria-replaced.html

(background on Ned's link)

Damn, this is more interesting than anything in Twilight.

I'm with that!

Twilight Hallmark cards:

http://uk.eonline.com/photos/gallery.jsp?galleryUUID=1388#40907

oh ffs

Far better:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v43/almostfun/icecreamcakejpg.jpg

honestly, based on what I know of the books, that would make more sense

well except for the part where she tries to give birth to a part human/part ice cream cake hybrid that breaks all of her insides, forcing the other ice cream cakes to chew the baby out of her, that wouldn't make as much sense

thanks for the spoilers dan!

Any time!

btw Dumbledore is gay

u broek my heart

Is he also made of ice cream?

Caligula! Oh wait...

Finally saw this! It was very funny! I was hoping that Corey Haim and Corey Feldman would come and kill Edward.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/iH0w68dP7qowww2s0XYs6Qh0o1_500.jpg

'Why get highlights, when you can have 'Twilights'?'

I thought this was going to be a parody of Highlights magazine, boo.

"Goofus lets other people know he's a vampire. Gallant always stays under cloud cover."

shouldn't one be Edward and the other one be whatever the name of the werewolf douchebag is

"The Werewolf Douchebag always lets other people know" etc.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_kpf2ipfjM21qa1ngio1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1253302736&Signature=QpXO2tKUSDcbk6iNoG%2FNikXV%2FeU%3D

Because she's spooky, see:

http://cms.myspacecdn.com/cms/Splash_Assets/FeaturedTab_US/1109/volturi-203.jpg

What huh? Oh did this happen yet?

Another couple of weeks.

Wow you can tell I'm plugged in, huh?

nice subtle use of MS Paint on Ms. Fanning up there

also, i think they saved money on the hair budget by giving Jasper one of Hayley Mills' old wigs from The Parent Trap:

http://i38.tinypic.com/a9feq.jpg

I love that picture so much. It enscapulates everything that is so gloriously cheesy and awful about the whole Twilight mess.

there was this, by the way: http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/features/2009/12/robert-pattinson-200912

Fanning is apparently a cheerleader in her highschool. It just seems so... weird. She doesn't strike me as one... at all.

omigod how did I miss this movie last year?

Is there actually any crossover between the hyperfan audience and the hyperlulz audience?

i think a lot of the time you can be hyperlulz as a way of being a hyperfan?

or be a hyperfan as a way of being hyperlulz.

If the movie had been set in South Florida instead of the Pacific Northwest, Kristen Stewart would never have opened her eyes for the intense, perpetual sparkle of Pattinson's skin.

like, i faintly internet-know people who are all
HAHA DUDES SPARKLEPIRES LOL WHUT let's all wear rpattz tshirts and massive amounts of glitter and queue for twelve hours so we can sit in the front row at the premiere it will be HILARIOUS.

earnest fannishness and lulziness have kind of melded into one.

There'll yet be a South Beach Vampires series.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/digital-short-firelight/1173548/

I heart Bill Hader.

HAHA DUDES SPARKLEPIRES LOL WHUT let's all wear rpattz tshirts and massive amounts of glitter and queue for twelve hours so we can sit in the front row at the premiere it will be HILARIOUS.

yeah, these people definitely exist. i think it's quite hard from someone with a college education to read the books with a straight face, tbh.

college

The Twilight tie-in energy drink.

I read the last book while sick with the flu 2 weeks ago - it was perfect for that.

Vomit inducing cleansing? I get it. ;-)

just thinking: if u spend all day living in the b&b italia catalog why do u need to scam on stringy-haired high school chicks i mean really

First 5 minutes of New Moon youtube exclusive

She's pretty easy:

Dakota Fanning talks about why she wanted to play the powerful Volturi vampire Jane in "New Moon."

"The highlight of playing Jane was getting to wear the costume and the red contact lenses and to play an evil character," she revealed at the recent "Moon" junket. "I think red eyes make everyone look very evil."

She didn't mention that she wanted to be part of such an iconic book/film series. Guess they had her at red contact lenses.

Twilight Barbie, anyone?

http://217.12.8.115/uk.f260.mail.yahoo.com/ya/securedownload?mid=1%5f3751271%5fANoKDNkAAUZFSvvv6wV1C328TME&pid=4&fid=Inbox&inline=1&cred=Mo3MXOv6Qppl6kIFdz1Q.ac.mekeH4P0NmYJk.jzTneXwcwbdL8jvA8Qb13mASPeJPJk.yj71K4NDOR704CRChKk0LU1lEZK0a3.8OM6p__ezQ--&ts=1258026444&partner=ymail&sig=juQhpKdoGNgmLAIWtBZotQ--

I HOPE WIND CHIMES STILL PLAY WHEN HE SPARKLES

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/11/16/older.twilight.fans/index.html

good luck USA

They don't call it "Twi Crack" for nothing.

Where to begin.

According to a recent Fandango survey of 2,000+ New Moon ticket-buyers:
-- 98% say the action in New Moon looks better than the action in Twilight
-- 72% plan to see the movie with a group of three friends/ or more.
-- 52% of survey respondents say they dream about vampires.
-- 22% are mothers and daughters planning to see New Moon together
-- 10% plan to show up at the theater dressed as the saga characters.

I think Fandango should collaborate with INS such that everyone who pre-orders a ticket to "New Moon" gets forcibly deported

I'd get behind that.

From an interview with the screenwriter:

In the first book, with "Twilight," I don’t think I even met (Meyer) until I was well into a draft and I was worried about meeting her because she was the 500-pound gorilla, she was the heavyweight. I was really protective of my process. I was afraid. I didn’t know her from Adam, and I was afraid of getting run over and of not being able to create what I wanted to create or in some way have my voice stifled. When I met her, I realized, "Oh, that’s not going to happen at all." But she was cautious too. She was looking at me going, "Are you going to butcher my child?"

"How do you butcher something that has already been chopped up and stuffed into cheap sausage casings?"

oh hey that's that guy from nurse jackie i think

Strangely enough, I just watched the Twilight movie last night. And it wasn't awful! I could see how one could hate it, but I enjoyed the absurdity and over-the-topness of it all. It was worth it just for the vampire baseball scene! I might even try to read the book.

oh no, we've lost another one

I heard about how Bella has some loco fucking Cronenburg pregnancy in the last one & now I kind of want to read that one, or at least that part of it.

I read that scene online, actually. It's really, amazingly stupid.

It is. I wasted one good month last summer reading these stupid stupid books. It was one of the more questionable things I have done in the quest for lols.

yeah im kind of skeptical at all the "lolfans" online who are as obsessed w/ the books as the "earnest" fans are but do it in some kind of "lol/ironic" way

saw the 1st 1 with an old friend of mine I was "reconnecting with" and 4got that he is incredibly obnoxious @ the cinema and talks really loudly laughing ironically and making fun of the movie he is watching (also, he goes like 3 times a week! we only went bcoz he had seen everything else) and he did his usual act even tho it was opening night of this and all the teenage girls who wanted 2 luk @ ropatt were not v happy iirc

Given how the ads are thrusting some 17-year-old shirtless studboy villain atcha, if I had $12.50 to waste on this I would attend a late-morning Chelsea screening, unshaven, in an old trench coat. (To fit right in.)

hes not a villain hes the male lead

no, not Pattinson, this boy whose entree to the film biz is that he's some karate champ?

BOok 4 has about 150 interesting pages in which Bella is NOT ANNOYING, FOR A CHANGE. Then there's the pregnancy scene, and then she's useless again for pretty much ever.

Hi, everybody. I'm back!

http://socialbutterflies.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/taylor-lautner-shirtless.jpg

oh yeah hes the second male lead

hes a werewolf so

Laurel OTM up there - I'd avoided the 4th book due to reverse C-section birth action rumors, then realized the heroine made me want to claw my eyes out regardless with her endless annoyingness so what was the diff - might as well read it. Then it was not bad for the first bit, immediately followed by a return to laughably bad badness plus extra madonna+childness.

reverse C-section birth action

That makes it sound like they slice her open to put the baby back in.

True. It's more an Alien-style birth.

talked about it upthread, actually:

Far better:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v43/almostfun/icecreamcakejpg.jpg

― Ned Raggett, Friday, July 31, 2009 5:52 PM

honestly, based on what I know of the books, that would make more sense

― Four-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! (HI DERE), Friday, July 31, 2009 5:59 PM

well except for the part where she tries to give birth to a part human/part ice cream cake hybrid that breaks all of her insides, forcing the other ice cream cakes to chew the baby out of her, that wouldn't make as much sense

― Four-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! (HI DERE), Friday, July 31, 2009 6:01 PM

I am pretty stoked that that particular piece of nonsense is the only part of the books I've read (or will ever read) because it was pretty hilariously gross

Ice cream cake births *would* be gross.

This is what you get when you confined Pattinson meat and ice cream:

http://www.cricketschirping.com/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/bacon-icecream.jpg

Also someone correct me if I'm wrong: doesn't the werewolf muscleboy instantly fall in love with the newborn humanpire baby?

Oh yes indeed.

...who ages at like 5 times human norm, so she'll be old enough for romanting in no time at all. Thank god there's no book 5.

hahaha wait

Wait, I'm confused – does she age into a sundae?

she ages into tuomas-sundae.jpg

mm yes

http://www.globalhermit.com/ilx/tuomas-sundae.jpg

Now imagine the lonely mothers of America obsessing over that.

pretty sure they already are, only with Robert Pattinson's head where the cherry is

oof!

Well, what can you add to that. (Except chocolate sprinkles.)

*96 tears*

Birth scene and werewolf babycrush are rivers of WTF. I had to hear all this shit on audiobook due to wife's ravenous need for things to listen to while working.

Unfortunately b/c it was an audiobook I have no idea how to spell the proper name 'Renesme' which, uttered with passionate conviction, was the biggest LOL of the series for me.

http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Renesmee_Cullen

oh, fuck these books

BTW Dan, Edward's face is perfect and so unbelievably beautiful it's almost painful to look at, just an FYI.

thx for the info!

Results 1 - 10 of about 2,280,000 for perfect unbelievably beautiful painful face. (1.04 seconds)

Logically the first post is about Jessica Simpson

Edward uses his teeth to bite through the amniotic sac

now that's entertainment.

I would seriously considering seeing Breaking Dawn just for that scene and the appalled reaction it will provoke once people see it on the screen.

I love what Roz posted upthread from a report on Comic-Con this year:

Lautner is once again talking about acting with his shirt off. Oh come on, at this point he’s just doing it on purpose, Empire suspects there’s some kind of ‘scream bingo’ game going on amongst the cast. By our count Pattinson’s still in the lead. What scenes are they most excited about shooting in the next films?

Lautner: “The sleeping bag scene, the sleeping bag scene!” SCREAM!
Stewart: “I can’t wait to actually get pregnant.” SCREAM!
Pattinson: “I can’t wait to take part in the Caesarian.” Confused silence. Robert, that’s just weird. Perhaps he doesn’t undersand the rules.

oh good lord

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_kt708fD3hn1qzyr9yo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1258615815&Signature=TRE0E%2Fs7gFZkdEqMAVCgGt8jvUk%3D

i hope those crazy kids are using protection, it's not going to be all pouncing and squee when he's chewing their offspring out of her stomach.

'Good, smart, literary women tried to resist the romantic-vampire phenomenon. And then, alas, they bit.'

Seriously, just kill the subheadliner.

However, a quote for the ages:

Recently, when Goodin's 10-year-old daughter wanted to lash out, she did so by yelling the words she knew would cut her mother to the core: "I don't even think Robert Pattinson's cute, anyway!"

good lord

I am so glad this is finally opening so they hype dies down a little until the next movie comes out.

lol at the first person interviewed being an ayn rand fan

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

holy lol at this, particularly "so that's the first 200+ pages"

i've had to hide so many people on facebook because of their lame new moon status updates over the last week. people that i thought were 18+ for some reason.

Oh good, I was just coming here to make sure somebody posted that LJ link.

Thank you so much for sharing that. Blingee Joseph Smith has made my day.

Bella "should have volunteered at the church cannery" – this person rly knows their (MOrmon) stuff!

She says early on that she's an ex-Mormon (and spends a good amount of words on pulling out the LDS influences/interpolations in the "Twilight" books).

Yeah it's the best reading in re: that I've ever encountered. I used to have a total morbid fascination for that kinda thing & wz thinking (when my mom first told me abt the Twilight books) of reading them for the weird Mormon undertones that had to be there. Then I figured I'd punished myself enough in life by reading the first half of this series.

"This article or section has multiple issues."

so I saw this movie so as to remain one with the zeitgeist (lies, I saw it cause my sisters wanted to).

it was kind of boringly competent for a Twilight movie. way fewer "WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING" moments than the first one. bella and edward still have hilarious non-chemistry and whenever they kiss it's like someone just told them their grandmothers died. bella and jacob on the other hand have some actual chemistry, and the best part of the movie is the two of them just hanging out, building motorcycles and being bros. there was also a great bit where they go to see a movie called FACE PUNCH, tagline: Let's Do This!.

also the last fifteen seconds of the movie are so WTF that the entire theater of fangirls roared with derisive laughter.

there was also a great bit where they go to see a movie called FACE PUNCH, tagline: Let's Do This!.

Why is this not real.

yeah, i might actually go see THAT.

(what happens in the last fifteen seconds?!)