That basically how I LOL it down to an EXCELSIOR

the other thread is pretty much done at this point

Agreed.

ahaha good title

Plunge a fork deep into its singed and roasted flesh.

pour one out

http://i35.tinypic.com/fc68h4.gif

^^^ LOL of the year

It's even better cos I'm listening to Squarepusher and the dog is kinda dancing in time.

http://i33.tinypic.com/900tab.gifhttp://i35.tinypic.com/fc68h4.gif

http://i36.tinypic.com/aet7xw.jpghttp://i33.tinypic.com/900tab.gifhttp://i35.tinypic.com/fc68h4.gif

awesome title

OCD+ADHD=ILX

― M.V., Friday, February 1, 2008 10:40 PM (10 months ago)

OCD + ADHD = DAD CHOD

― nabisco, Friday, February 1, 2008 10:41 PM (10 months ago)

URGENT ADVICE MANDEEEEEEEEEE

how do i hit on the girls in the coffee shop here, rght noW???

― Tanganyika laughter epidemic (gbx)

or "hey, don't i recognize you from my hot tub?"

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan)

he's a guy who hates rock
and he does feminine studies

― n/a is just more of a character....in a genre polluted by clones (n/a), Wednesday, December 10, 2008 10:29 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he comes from finland
he respects women and their bodies

― n/a is just more of a character....in a genre polluted by clones (n/a), Wednesday, December 10, 2008 10:29 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he's tuomas

― n/a is just more of a character....in a genre polluted by clones (n/a), Wednesday, December 10, 2008 10:29 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Is there something wrong with that?

― Tuomas, Wednesday, December 10, 2008 10:30 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(xxxx-post)

― Tuomas, Wednesday, December 10, 2008 10:30 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he's Tuomas, the driving cat

can ppl can it with calling every single thing "hipsters" do "ironic". like ppl are just dancing.

OMG i saw a hipster eating a cheese burger, it was dripping with yellow melted irony!!!!

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, December 10, 2008 7:22 PM (35 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ok i just tried for ten minutes to screenshot this off my tv and it just didn't work so y'all have to take my word for it that this is lol and it happened:

closed captioning got stuck on the tv for like 5 minutes and i look up and the image is regis philbin lying on a psychiatrist's chair and the captioning says

AUSCHWITZ
WHAT I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT

actual lol

^pls let someone find that screencap

I don't think it would be too hard to MAKE that screencap

Well, that was stupid. I was wayyyyyy overprepared. Conversely, I don't think I did all that well. :[] We'll see.

― burt_stanton, Thursday, December 11, 2008 12:56 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Probably only funny if you have attended law school and been reading the law school thread, but I LOL'd.

Uh, Johnny Depp is American.

Yeah, an American who often plays Britons.

― Tuomas, Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:28 PM (29 minutes ago)

he's playing a gay pirate, which is unsurprisingly often mistaken for playing british

― n/a is just more of a character....in a genre polluted by clones (n/a), Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:28 PM (29 minutes ago)

If Westlife were in a pub, sitting at a table, and one of their own songs came on the jukebox, would they stand up at the key change, Pavlov-style?

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 11 December 2008 16:55 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i walked out of 'wing commander' and then walked into 'the rage: carrie 2'

― omar little, Thursday, December 11, 2008 8:27 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wau hardcore

― Ca-hoot na na na oh oh (HI DERE), Thursday, December 11, 2008 8:27 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

when I was in high school the captain of the football team gave a speech for the homecoming rally in which he went into this total roid rage and was screaming that our rivals were a bunch of "milk drinking faggots!!!" he got pulled off stage by the headmaster.

not really related but i felt like sharing

― bnw, Thursday, December 11, 2008 3:39 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha, that last one is making me lose it in the library. I'm getting stares here.

MILK OUT MY FAGGOT NOSTRILS

i'm going to see the bass player from The Orb do stand-up comedy tonight!

― BLAP BLAP (Roberto Spiralli) (sic), Friday, 12 December 2008 12:54 (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Did you hear the one about the DJ who trainsmashed the mix one night? He went home in an ambience!"

― moley, Friday, 12 December 2008 12:57 (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahahhaa

― Minister for Compression Issues (electricsound), Friday, 12 December 2008 12:59 (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Before he formed The Orb, Alex Paterson used to roadie for Killing Joke you know. You know why they sacked him? He said he didn't like jazz!'

― moley, Friday, 12 December 2008 13:04 (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"But seriously, people sometimes get angry about me replacing Wobble on bass - it must be a bitter PIL to swallow! Eh? Eh? I just tell 'em to chillout!"

― moley, Friday, 12 December 2008 13:09 (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Seriously though, Thomas was very nervous about joining the band, cos Alex has a bit of a reputation for having a huge ever growing ego that pulsates from the centre of the universe, ya know what I mean?? He said to me, 'Do you think I'll be good enough?" I replied, 'You can't Fehlmann!'

― moley, Friday, 12 December 2008 13:13 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Thank you, you've been a marvellous audience, thank you very much and goodniiiiight!!!"

― moley, Friday, 12 December 2008 13:14 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Should be great.

― moley, Friday, 12 December 2008 13:14 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

clap clap clap clap clap cough clap clap

lol

going it alone huh

No no, you don't understand! 'Room (the full 40-minute version released in 1994)' is the name of my dog!

have 3 lloyd banks mixtapes but no living colour - what sort of monster have i become

― ice cr?m, Friday, December 12, 2008 11:40 AM (28 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol moley

No no, you don't understand! 'Room (the full 40-minute version released in 1994)' is the name of my dog!

― The Biggest Event In The History Of Ethnic Comedy (DJ Mencap), Friday, December 12, 2008 8:32 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ahahaha

I find that, for me, there is an inherent involuntary body movement evoked by songs with "groove"; sometimes it's a head nod, sometimes it's rhythmic swaying, sometimes it's full-on dancing. If a song doesn't elicit that reaction from me, I don't think it has a groove. Based on this involuntary (and, I might add, wholly personal) reaction, I find Justice to be grooveless. I could still dance to it, but it wouldn't be all that much fun for me.

― Ca-hoot na na na oh oh (HI DERE), Friday, December 12, 2008 2:04 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

plus, they are horrible.

― scott seward, Friday, December 12, 2008 2:05 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You need to start volunteering at a soup kitchen. You might find that it makes your "problem" seems pretty insignificant.

― Suggest Ban Permalink (contenderizer), Friday, December 12, 2008 2:27 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah, just wait till you find out how much you suck at making soup.

― sister s (ledge), Friday, December 12, 2008 2:29 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wau i'm more amazed by that chick's outfit than LT's. "On behalf of garish leather outfit wearers everywhere, I'd like to present you with this lifetime achievement award, LT."

― Granny Dainger

this is actually really difficult. from my experience, Bush were on the radio a lot for about three years, but more or less disappeared after that. Scott Weiland stuck around forever (and STP is still played heavily on local rock station). I can concede that "Big Bang Baby" and "Tripping on a Hole..." are far better than anything Bush ever did, the collection of "Everything Zen", "Comedown", "Machinehead", "Glycerine", and "Swallowed" are much less annoying than every other thing STP released.

Bush it is.

― Gukbe, Wednesday, December 10, 2008 8:41 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

[...]

zomg, just watched 2 bush videos. I WANT TO CHANGE MY VOTE! HOW COULD I 4GET???

― Gukbe, Wednesday, December 10, 2008 8:51 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Mom says to Drew "Who do you think you are, King Shit?" Drew retreats to his room and emerges in a shirt emblazoned with the words "King Shit."

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, December 12, 2008 12:55 PM (9 hours ago)

"Emily's E.T. Tata": An ordinary potato allegedly bearing a passing resemblance to Hollywood's E.T., it mouldered, sprouted and became disgusting while I resolutely clung to it. After Mom bought me a stuffed E.T. to replace the moldy "tata", I was thrilled to have "a Mommy ET and a baby ET."

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, December 12, 2008 11:10 PM (9 minutes ago)

that thread is absolute megagold all classic material and if anyone hasn't looked at it yet they are a fool.

totally

Yup.

sounds like Too $hort

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, December 12, 2008 5:32 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Too $hort if he only pimped out angels.

― a hoy hoy, Friday, December 12, 2008 5:33 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

from animal collective thread

what thread are the roxy quotes from btw

I hadn't thought about that latter possibility, but I did definitely calculate the age.

― total mormon cockblock extravaganza (jaymc), Friday, December 12, 2008 11:38 PM Bookmark

miniature family anecdotes

BEST SHIT EVER NO LIE

^^ great thread

perhaps your problem is where you live? do you live in your parent's basement? it's impossible to *really* get sun ra unless you live in your parent's basement.

― moonship journey to baja, Saturday, December 13, 2008 6:00 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark

t-bomb

nah that is some straight bullshit bomb. there is no secret to "getting" sun ra. anyone with a pair of fucking ears and half an attention span can do it.

came in the context of talking about how Atlantis is boring though. I like other Sun Ra recs.

Fun fact: Lisa Kudrow briefly dated Conan O'Brien

― Karl Malone, Saturday, December 13, 2008 5:03 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thanks, we know

― very very serious (gabbneb), Saturday, December 13, 2008 5:04 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahaha

is there something funny about that other than the username Karl Malone? I don't think I get it.

did i miss a 77 assignment about not getting jokes or something wtf boss

The Sun Ra joke is funny because it plays on the stereotype of free jazz longhairs living in their parents basements. I own 6 Sun Ra albums and don't live in my parents' basement! But it's funny u kno etc

yeah, that's the bottom line

is there something funny about that other than the username Karl Malone? I don't think I get it.

I didn't really get it either, but I was impressed by Gabbneb's handle on Lisa Kudrow trivia.

that's what's funny about it

i pictured him holding out his hand into karl's face

"please please, mr malone, take your 101-level kudrow knowledge elsewhere"

where did you learn that, remedial kudrow? please.

http://i35.tinypic.com/fc68h4.gif

OK, someone needs to point me in the direction of the original YouTube video on this one.

Come anticipate "Stick It" with me--gymnastics movie from "Bring It On" writer ft Jeff Bridges!!!!

trailer:
http://www.totaleclips.com/Player/Bounce.aspx?eclipid=e26484&bitrateid=253&vendorid=600

"it's not called "gym-NICE-stics!"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, February 1, 2006 2:49 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Why oh why couldn't it have been made about male gymnasts?

― Drew "obligatory gay comment" Daniel (Drew Daniel), Wednesday, February 1, 2006 2:57 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

jumpy dog needs to pee

it is conan knowledge as well as kudrow knowledge, btw

Kudrow was after Liz Lemon but before he got married, back when big red was runnin' through mad NBC hoes.

Did you know Conan was writer on Simpsons

toe bad, if insole foot laces maybe bush stiletto reebok crosstrainer heels like sole boots ha ha ha sandals

― negotiable, Sunday, December 14, 2008 7:13 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

everyone knows Conan and Azaria ran a train on Yeardley Smith

HO?

I am eagerly awaiting the "throw a shoe at President Bush and WIN A FREE IPOD" banner ads.

― ººººº‰ (dan m), Sunday, December 14, 2008 1:43 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

obama wouldve caught em

― negotiable, Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:26 PM Bookmark

"everyone knows Conan and Azaria ran a train on Yeardley Smith"

But only if she'd do the Lisa voice throughout.

Yeardley did win the "which simpsons voice actor would u blapp" poll on 77

someone offer me a password to 77, plz!

someone just webmailed me re: 77, but i can't find the link to ilxmail. can someone link that to me (not a rickroll) plz? apologies for web uselessness.

what!

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q102/adamsilver000/2uyod3k.gif
― Pfunkboy Formerly Known As... (Herman G. Neuname), Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Duck Smirk Duck

― nabisco, Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Wait, that's not fair: it was Duck Smirk BLOCK/Duck

― nabisco, Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

v, >> + X, < + ^O, v

― nabisco, Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

aloh

what?

audible laughter over here!

― very quotatious (tehresa), Sunday, December 14, 2008 11:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

aloh

― beyonc'e (max), Sunday, December 14, 2008 11:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

aloha

it's an "aloh ha"

aloHA!

Tuomas, one day there will be a university course on said matter and you will have that long desired climatic eureka experience akin to Ron Jeremy popping on Jenna Jameson.

Something like that.

― nathalie, Monday, 19 March 2007 13:55 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

taught my cat to say "chock full of nuts!" dude

My cat Skittles (since deceased, RIP) was very vocal and we trained him to "talk" in exchange for food and treats. I honestly think there was a rudimentary form of imitation involved (obviously reinforced by the food and treats), as he didn't meow in distinct syllables before we started "talking" back to him. One time I was in the kitchen with a friend and Skittles walked in, doing his usual "ma-ma" meow that we taught him. Glancing at a bag of Chock Full of Nuts coffee nearby I decided to throw him a curveball. I said "Skittles, say 'chock full of nuts!'"

And I'll be damned, he let out a multisyllabic meow that sounded EXACTLY like he was saying 'chock full of nuts!' We immediately rewarded him with some treats.

― Q: Why was the mushroom so popular? A: He was a fungi (latebloomer), Wednesday, 10 December 2008 18:22 (5 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

try to CGI that shit, Hollywood

― Q: Why was the mushroom so popular? A: He was a fungi (latebloomer), Wednesday, 10 December 2008 18:28 (5 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

OK, someone needs to point me in the direction of the original YouTube video on this one.

― Eric H., Sunday, December 14, 2008 2:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Nobody cares what you have to say. Somehow I'm not surprised.

― Matt DC, Monday, 15 December 2008 01:50 (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Nobody cares what you have to say. Somehow I'm not surprised.

― Matt DC"

except for the thousands of visitors to my blog and the people who pay me to write for them.

― pipecock, Monday, 15 December 2008 03:10 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

O PIPECOCK U R A TRAET

Which thread is he trolling now, apart from the Chymera one?

Frankendance

to be fair that thread has already trolled itself without pipecocks help 6-7 times

"thousands of visitors to my blog"

solid name opportunity there

Bands/artists who reveal their influences in their names

Went from zero to sixty in less than a second.

wtf is a challop anyway?

― Maria, Monday, December 15, 2008 7:13 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's a scallop that has a high concentration of omega 3's. i like to eat them with flax seeds.

― cutty, Monday, December 15, 2008 7:14 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh i thought it was some kind of weird internet joke.

― Maria, Monday, December 15, 2008 7:15 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

to be fair that thread has already trolled itself without pipecocks help 6-7 times

― beyonc'e (max), Monday, December 15, 2008 8:49 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

plz u wish -- u and ice craem combined are not 1/5th the trolls pipecock is

People are forgetting that Pixar is taking the easy route out by animating things that are either easy to realistically duplicate or easy to suspend belief on; notice that all of their humans look assier than anything in the original "Shrek".

Honestly, Shrek's shirt alone means Dreamworks > Pixar.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, May 20, 2004 1:08 PM (4 years ago)

That's the plot of Shrek 3 for you.

"When Shrek's shirt goes missing and ends up in a pool for people to marvel at its realistic water-retaining qualities..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, May 20, 2004 1:10 PM (4 years ago)

my dad went bush -> bush -> obama :-)

― gov. blapojevich (J0rdan S.), Monday, December 15, 2008 8:43 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

and you went bush > bush > dudes

― freek-a-luriqua (and what)

no offense jordan, but this was gold

from wikipedia.com: histology is the science of remembering to eat

― ice cr?m, Tuesday, 16 December 2008 00:40 (9 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

just ordered a pizza btw

― pretty impressive war skills (gbx), Tuesday, 16 December 2008 01:48 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

u get an A!

― ice cr?m, Tuesday, 16 December 2008 01:55 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'd have thought % of people with racist views would be about the same in all UK towns?

― tomofthenest, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:08 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

also, there is the argument that everybody is prejudiced to some extent.

― tomofthenest, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:10 PM (35 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

will vary by:

levels of poverty
% of ethnic population
% of brainless, shellsuit wearing cunts

― i'm sorry i mocked your dog. i didn't know about the accident (Roberto Spiralli), Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:11 PM (1 second ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I think the most 'Leppard' line is when Rourke sez "Let's all take a shower."

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:21 PM (44 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

to wash all the sugar off?

― ice cr?m, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:21 PM (7 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ooh well played by cr?m

You know, of all the cultural points I find myself repeatedly informing people of, "the mid-east / Muslims aren't huge on dogs" is #1 by a long, long way

― nabisco, Wednesday, November 5, 2008 4:22 PM (10 minutes ago)

Mine is "Germans are afraid of lightning." Except mine is made up.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, November 5, 2008 9:34 PM (1 month ago)

haha the "Canadians are afraid of the dark" bit on last night's How I Met Your Mother reminded me of that

i have 4 plants, all in my apartment - i like bristly cactus joints and aloe plants, shit like that. i got a yucca that i got drunk with one and poured vodka into the pot lol. not real big on flowers or leafy shit.

― Uncle Shavedpipecock (and what), Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:09 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you got drunk with a cactus?

― s1ocki, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:12 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah basically

i was like talkin to the plant and shit, it was real

― Uncle Shavedpipecock (and what), Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:13 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this was like 4-5 years ago after a big break-up - it was my deuce bigalow european gigalo in cactus form u feel me?

― Uncle Shavedpipecock (and what), Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:14 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fully

― s1ocki, Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:15 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You know when you buy say, a 40 tog duvet

no

― Bored American Aerospace Defense Command (BORAD) (contenderizer), Wednesday, December 17, 2008

okay has anyone already changed their handle to "the romantic tampon" or what

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, December 17, 2008 11:34 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No.

― Not me I'm the Emotional Type (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, December 17, 2008 11:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the lols have gotten so negative

when will 'keepin it positive' turn 1 yr old?

like april right?

You know, if you're not going to buy into the baseline conceit of a movie, you might be better off spending your time doing something else instead of watching it. It's not like it was a huge SURPRISE that a) the tone was going to be gritty-serious, and b) it would feature a dude in a cape.

― ^likes black girls (HI DERE), Thursday, 18 December 2008 17:09 (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

much like a king boy pato post

― uh oh I'm having a fanta girl (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2008 17:22 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lollllllll

http://www.northokanaganrealestate.ca/_media/Images/100percent2.jpg

the term "snitch" here is getting used wrong - just doesn't apply in this context. one can make an actual case, as I said above, for not ratting people out to police when the police have a history of gaming the system - planting evidence, circling wagons, etc. the classic mafia version of not snitching also involves in-family/system punishment meted out to people who are doing wrong (nb offing one's enemies doesn't count as wrong in this setup, so it's a different code). when there's a possibility that a person will get screwed by power structure to whom he's being handed over, there's an ethical case to be made for greater-good in not letting that system dictate the terms.

none of this shit applies in a classroom, unless the teacher is Pol Pot or something. it is not snitching to tell the teacher what's going on. apples and oranges.

― J0hn D., Thursday, December 18, 2008 2:50 PM (1 minute ago)

o btw the teacher is pol pot

― ice cr?m, Thursday, December 18, 2008 2:51 PM (1 minute ago)

respect to the organization

― J0hn D., Thursday, December 18, 2008 2:51 PM (41 seconds ago)

once again, yr problem with the source stems from conflicted feelings about identifying with the main character. Does identifying, even on a superficial level, with people that are evidently evil/assholes make you unduly uncomfortable or something? Isn't this what good art does?

― There was even a brief period when I preferred Sally Forth. (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 18 December 2008 21:26 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I mean isn't a sign of a good work of art that it raises and provokes uncomfortable questions and sparks self-examination?

― There was even a brief period when I preferred Sally Forth. (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 18 December 2008 21:28 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

To be fair, Shaeky, nabisco was a kid.

― La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l’on n’a pas (Michael White), Thursday, 18 December 2008 21:28 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whats that from

"This is the thread for Mary Poppins".

It would allow him to do the right thing and report it himself

or be shamed into writing his own shit

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Thursday, December 18, 2008 5:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And that's never going to happen – this isn't a Christian animated special for tots.

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Thursday, December 18, 2008 5:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whats that from

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, December 19, 2008 12:45 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"This is the thread for Mary Poppins".

― Tuomas, Friday, December 19, 2008 12:48 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

uh, it's from the Calvin & Hobbes/Far Side poll thread

I got a facial today too. I'm worth it!!!

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, December 19, 2008 6:30 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

A facial what?

― Tuomas, Friday, December 19, 2008 6:30 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this isn't even fun anymore

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, December 19, 2008 6:31 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― some duomas (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 19 December 2008 09:49 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that reads like a Peanuts strip

― Mo Money Mo Konjic (Roberto Spiralli), Friday, 19 December 2008 12:06 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha

HAHAHA

I got a facial today too. I'm worth it!!!

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 19 December 2008 07:30 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

A facial what?

― Tuomas, Friday, 19 December 2008 07:30 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this isn't even fun anymore

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 19 December 2008 07:31 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i'm only doing this because someone else (and possibly a google search!) will give you a very different answer, tuomas.

here is what a facial is: http://spas.about.com/od/massage/a/whatisafacial.htm

― rox qua rox (roxymuzak), Friday, 19 December 2008 07:32 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Sorry, I really don't know what that means.

― Tuomas, Friday, 19 December 2008 07:32 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(x-post)

Ah, in Finnish we call that "facial treatment".

― Tuomas, Friday, 19 December 2008 07:33 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh for fucks sake

― rock loop twist down loop twist (tehresa), Friday, 19 December 2008 07:35 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahhaha

wasn't morbz making the point that nu-batman sux cause of all the fast-moving whatnots

― Edward III, Friday, December 19, 2008 12:17 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol you whippersnappers and your fast-cut action sequences in my day we just had claymation out-of-scale monkeys chasin girls and we were happy with it goddamnit

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, December 19, 2008 12:18 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

you never really get a sense of how big whoopi goldberg's boobs are

― M@tt He1ges0n, Friday, December 19, 2008 3:10 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whoopi cushions

gabbneb would you describe the queen of your dreams in words (preferably 2-3 sentences)

― homosexual II, Friday, December 19, 2008 11:34 AM (5 hours ago)

1) blended haircut

― beyonc'e (max), Friday, December 19, 2008 11:35 AM (5 hours ago)

2) not black

― beyonc'e (max), Friday, December 19, 2008 11:35 AM (5 hours ago)

its a little sad that my brain immediately went borat NOOOOT black on that

Invoking Borat now is kinda like being the guy who kept making Austin Powers jokes a couple years after the fact.

oh, behave!

ok i accidentally loled

HAHAHA

that is funny, I was just looking at the other thread and captions for it

imagine if Harris did buy someone a toaster for xmas !

― the pinefox, Tuesday, December 23, 2008 1:36 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i can't! it's too bizarre!

― Harvey Weewax (stevie), Tuesday, December 23, 2008 4:28 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

in that pic at the top of the thread, Bruce AKA "Violent J" (WTF?) looks like Principal R00ney from Ferri5 Bue11er's Day 0ff...

― snoball, Sunday, December 21, 2008 6:52 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

why are you googleproofing "ferris bueller's day off"??

― funk doctor nude spock (and what), Sunday, December 21, 2008 6:52 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol I did the same with Mick Jagger this one time

(xpost) In my defence, it's because I'm scared of Rooney 'cause he still hasn't given me that tardy slip and I'll have to retake a year if he catches me, and, er... oh I don't know... My knowledge of the American school system is based entirely on John Hughes movies, so I don't know what else to say.

good thread

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, December 23, 2008 11:56 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

in 2005

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, December 23, 2008 11:57 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not keepin' it positive

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Tuesday, December 23, 2008 11:58 AM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you guys i am soooooo bitchy omg!

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, December 23, 2008 12:01 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

A friend of ours who used to work high up for a major supplier of precious jewels and fine ceramics to the Vatican told an extraordinary story to us the other night of being invited on a tour of the Vatican about fifteen years ago. They took her under the crypt to rooms barred from public view. There, in rooms covered in panels depicting sexual congress, mostly between men, they offered her wine served in a diamond, ruby and sapphire encrusted goblet. After that, an official asked her, would she care for some cocaine?

― moley, Tuesday, December 23, 2008 4:18 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

moley are you lyndon larouche

― and what is to be done? (goole), Wednesday, December 24, 2008 4:16 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

hahaha holy shit

just plug your nose guys.. don't be a sissy. quit when you feel like it, and then use something other than your tongue duh.

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Monday, December 22, 2008 11:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And you were blaming your solo status on weight in the other thrad?

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Monday, December 22, 2008 11:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol how do you do it when you're plugging your nose wtf? or do you pull a nose plug out of your pocket like it's the pool

― ill c u n may Schwwwwwww (harbl), Monday, December 22, 2008 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he probably owns a pussy snorkel.

― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Monday, December 22, 2008 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

From ENBB? omg

I have never thought of ENBB as someone who is above talking about pussy snorkels, but maybe I'm just over-influenced by that story about the "douche jelly" translation error.

(Hahaha that reads a bit like I'm saying "when I think of ENBB, I think of plastic tubes and lady-genitals")

whoa dude

you havent seen her in chatz

chapz

That wasn't that "whoah dude," I don't think, I do not actually think what I just said it READ like I might think

... if you know what I think/mean

no dude

Melodic music will skyrocket in value once it reasserts its dominance in the critical and public spheres. Hold onto those Wings, Crowded House, and Eggstone CDs, and they'll be worth €100 apiece in another 30 years.

You'll be lucky to get even €1 for a whole pile of James Brown CDs, though I'm sure they'll make great body armor once the 3rd World War hits ;)

― arular (unregistered), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 00:17 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Surely a pussy snorkel should be called a 'porkel', right?
Also, just because I keep playing it over and over and not to self excelsior:

that makes me wish NSYNC had discovered autotune

at work i said, "hey, is it possible to turn off the lights in the nap room? i mean the supply room?"

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 07:02 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

merry yesterday, foreigners

― choom gang of four (sic), Friday, December 26, 2008 10:16 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

miniature family anecdotes: tragic pet edition

-I have told this on ilx before i think but when i was around 10, my mom put the hamster cage on top of the washing machine while it was running, so that she could clean the area where the cage was normally kept. The hamsters had a heart attack and died.

-My six-year-old cousin bathed her kittens and then hung them up by the tails to dry. They did not die but one of them had a permanently crooked tail while the other was just terrified of everything after that.

-Another cousin somehow convinced his parents to buy him a chick as a pet even though they lived in city suburbs and prob had no business raising one. But raise it they did until one day my cousin accidentally steps on the thing while it was walking around in their backyard. The chick, which was now almost a chicken, walks a few steps more, made a small clucking noise, tipped over and died.

― Disco/Very (Roz), Thursday, December 18, 2008 7:12 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

kill for me ??

sorry that was incomplet3e who is my bitch who would kill for me if they was my bitch are you fuckin around on me? a real bitch is all i want all i ever had. a real slick and then we lie together die together i hope to mutherfucking die together

NA WURIEZ

A friend of ours who used to work high up for a major supplier of precious jewels and fine ceramics to the Vatican told an extraordinary story to us the other night of being invited on a tour of the Vatican about fifteen years ago. They took her under the crypt to rooms barred from public view. There, in rooms covered in panels depicting sexual congress, mostly between men, they offered her wine served in a diamond, ruby and sapphire encrusted goblet. After that, an official asked her, would she care for some cocaine?

― moley, Tuesday, December 23, 2008 4:18 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

moley are you lyndon larouche

― and what is to be done? (goole), Wednesday, December 24, 2008 4:16 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

This has got extra mysterious-funny for me right now bcz i) moley's story is a bit omg & funny in itself and ii) the four-paragraph, full-page on my screen intro for the Lyndon LaRouche article on Wikipedia (which I have to consult to determine whether goole's retort is LOLly, me not American and all) doesn't mention a single thing about his political position. XD

Will proceed to scan the rest of WP article, though.

sounds like Alberto Rivera

Hold on, I thought salvia was used as a herb, not as a drug?!

― Tuomas, Monday, December 29, 2008 9:40 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This would explain a hell of a lot.

― I Was a Teenage Armchair Hongro Fan (Noodle Vague), Monday, December 29, 2008 10:36 AM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^IRL lol

xp, true. a friend of mine got into a fight with carlton palmer.

― caek, Monday, 29 December 2008 11:34 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

friend of mine punched a guy that looked a lot like Paul McShane once

― Glans Christian Christian christian Christian Andersen (MPx4A), Monday, 29 December 2008 11:38 (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Old school friend had to go to hospital with injuries sustained from tiling Marco Gabbiadini's bathroom.

― Roni Size Queen (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 29 December 2008 11:39 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^Brit zingers in tripartite crescendo, thread keeps on giving

― baby got bahn (country matters), Monday, 29 December 2008 11:46 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I also drunkenly killed Anders Limpar on new year's eve 2007

― Glans Christian Christian christian Christian Andersen (MPx4A), Monday, 29 December 2008 11:50 (4 minutes ago)

the thing with that is mine is actually true

palmer left the club to go to his car to change his shirt before fighting, because he didn't want to ruin his good one

looool awesome, first touch of a combine harvester but dignified in combat

(it was mostly excelsiored for ferg's finishing move tbh)

http://reubenmiller.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/10/28/dsc00495_sign.jpg

don't get an iPhone, if you have to have that stuff just get an ipod touch and save yourself hundreds and hundreds of dollars

the ipod touch is not a phone

― cutty, Tuesday, December 30, 2008 4:41 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

also an iphone is $199, so you mean hundred and hundred of dollars

― cutty, Tuesday, December 30, 2008 4:42 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

kinda ehhh since you also get charged buttload monthly

2k overall

i use voip on my iphone

on my ipod, sorry

do suits from sainsbury's turn you into a fat-lipped self important cunt?

― o_O (ken c), Tuesday, December 30, 2008 6:07 PM (58 minutes ago)

I think you've got cause and effect reversed there...

― snoball, Tuesday, December 30, 2008 6:09 PM (57 minutes ago)

fat-lipped self important cunts from sainsbury's turned you into a suit?

― o_O (ken c), Tuesday, December 30, 2008 6:10 PM (56 minutes ago)

i got lolled

xpost to Abbott: Oh, I don't mind the whole David Cronenberg aesthetic reality has runnin' right now. That's been slowly gaining over the past decade or longer.

― soyrizo headache (Mackro Mackro), Tuesday, December 30, 2008 11:55 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

well, the non-violent aspects of the aesthetic, obviously

― soyrizo headache (Mackro Mackro), Tuesday, December 30, 2008 11:55 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

OH SHIT MY BLOOTUETH HAS MERGED WITH MY EAR AND IS SHOOTING CANCERS EVERYWHERE

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Tuesday, December 30, 2008 11:57 AM (47 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

# I LIKE BOO_S!! [Started by Tuomas in December 2008, last updated 59 seconds ago by System on Curtis's borad] 54 new answers [POLL results]
# Chewbacca's voice is a combination of several animals, including [Started by Dr. Yakubius (and what) in December 2008, last updated 1 minute ago by System on Curtis's borad] 11 new answers [POLL results]
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# The Seven Seals are Revealed at the End of Time as Seven Bows: [Started by ciderpress in October 2008, last updated 1 minute ago by System on The Church] 1 new answer [POLL closes: January 01]
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# The Clean - Compilation [Started by Hipster Loser-Loser (Drugs A. Money) in December 2008, last updated 1 minute ago by System on I Love Music] 1 new answer [POLL closes: January 01]
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haw
happy new year

probably funniersadder that i thought tonight was nye.

Tonight is nye.

Bill Nye, the tonight guy.

see why I don't date?

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:48 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Morbius, not-dating because breakups are awkward seems like some Hallmarky proverb about fear holding you back from life!

― nabisco, Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:49 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or "The Beast in the Jungle."

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, December 31, 2008 1:57 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.newsfromme.com/images4/louisnye2.jpg

I DID BAD. CAN I HAVE A LENIN ROLL?

― TIM, Saturday, August 3, 2002 12:00 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

hoos go start the new ringtone 09 thread! i wanna post about something!

rolling autogoon thread 2009

that's a response to matt not an excelsior btw

Do you have proof of yr state of non-ovulation?

― яσσʍ♭ⱥȵℹҁᔔ ᴗȵȴℹʍℹȶ∊∂ (libcrypt), Sunday, December 28, 2008 6:43 PM (4 days ago)

when i was a boy, i emptied a pickle jar, cleaned it out, and put a label on it that said, "EGGS."

to this day, the jar is still empty.

― #NAME? (ytth), Sunday, December 28, 2008 8:04 PM (4 days ago)

An idle thought: do florist shops have a problem with shoplifters?

― Aimless, Friday, January 2, 2009 5:39 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yes, bees are a HUGE florist revenue problem.

― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (libcrypt), Friday, January 2, 2009 5:40 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That is a pretty amazing picture. However: if it is the greatest thing I will ever see, I might as well go hang myself in the bathroom.

― nabisco, Friday, January 2, 2009 7:28 PM (11 seconds ago)

My father came to this country with a suitcase, a packet of cigarettes, and a dream.

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 5 January 2009 17:19 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That dream was to attend a pantomime.

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 5 January 2009 17:20 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

nothing in the suitcase?

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Monday, 5 January 2009 17:20 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Just hope.

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 5 January 2009 17:21 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And three kilos of cocaine.

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 5 January 2009 17:22 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh hey i bet this will turn out to be the longest thread i ever started

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Tuesday, January 6, 2009 12:07 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Which is why, presumably, we have consent laws in Western countries.

― Mordy, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 12:08 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

Do I want to sleep with all of my (many many) attractive female friends? No.

Do I imagine what it might be like? Yes, of course.

And I have also imagined what it might be like to sleep with unattractive ladies, male friends, goats, etc.

I also imagine what it would be like to drive off a cliff. But I've never done it.

― Nate Carson, Monday, January 5, 2009 7:50 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what about your mom?

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Monday, January 5, 2009 7:51 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ha, I was just about to post a link to the whole thread.

Earlier this evening, me & my wife went grocery shopping. When the cashier got to the 5 cans of tuna we bought (for our cats), she said,

This is a great thing to have in yr emergency kit!

When she got to the 10-lb bag of kitty litter, she said,

I have this in my emergency kit too.

Then she lowered her voice and said,

I don't have a cat.

It's for me.

― graty80 (libcrypt), Tuesday, January 6, 2009 3:18 AM (3 minutes ago)

lololololololol!

to be fair it took two Brits to begin the mainstreaming of Christianity in America too: James I and God.

― special guest stars mark bronson, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 16:29 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

was coming here to do that one

When he thought of her, he could call up a vivid picture of her to himself, especially the charm of that little fair head, so freely set on the shapely girlish shoulders, and so full of childish brightness and good-humor. The childishness of her expression, together with the delicate beauty of her figure, made up her special charm, and that he fully realized. But what always struck him in her as something unlooked for, was the expression of her eyes, soft, serene, and truthful, and above all, her smile, which always transported Levin to an enchanted world, where he felt himself softened and tender, as he remembered himself in some days of his early childhood.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 11:12 AM (5 hours ago)

Kitty Scherbatsky - 17 y.o.
Levin - 30ish

and this turns out to be the only really good relationship in all of Anna Karenina

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 11:13 AM (5 hours ago)

Blimey, which language is that a Babelfish translation of "Sweet Child of Mine" ?

xpost

― Mark G, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 11:13 AM (5 hours ago)

here's another tip - if you are ever given "the ethical slut" for christmas you got to tap that

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 12:16 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wait i don't get this, tap who? the person who gave you the book? why would a woman give a dude this book? my head is reeling here. tap the book?

― goole, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 1:56 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's not the amount of girls that counts - it's the amount of cunnilingus received by me that means anything

― ❤ⓛⓞⓥⓔ❤ (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, January 6, 2009 4:43 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahaha poor hoos

i would like to see a short film where david crosby creeps up on people singing in the shower and adds harmonies from the other side of the curtain and that's how they know their time is up.

― rent, Tuesday, January 6, 2009 12:54 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

haha omg that's brilliant

rent

negotiable

fuckin amazing

Woman at a previous job had Netscape problems. I asked her to go to netscape.com in order to upgrade.

This is what she did:

1. Opened Netscape
2. Entered yahoo.com in the address bar
3. Typed 'netscape.com' in the Yahoo search bar
4. Clicked the first result

SHE WAS A FUCKING TECHNICAL SPECIALIST.

Suggest Ban Permalink
― INVERTED 4 LIFE (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 12:18 AM Bookmark

i dont want to be a huge jerk or use hyperbole or anything but this is basically the worst series of books ever

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Tuesday, January 6, 2009 5:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dude max that is such common knowledge that a reference to it would not have to be cited in a work.

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Tuesday, January 6, 2009 5:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it answers this question that i've been pondering since i was 15: "what would happen if one of the chicks from bang bus str8 shot one of the dudes?"

― jordan s (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 3:13 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://i40.tinypic.com/r0ziau.jpg

― ice cr?m, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 9:34 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The woman in red is wondering how that white bitch with no ass got the job in the first place.

wtf is a run dmc blender

― ^likes black girls (HI DERE), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 12:02 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

its a blender with a run dmc sticker on it

― FUTURE HOOS: stronger better faster hooser (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 12:03 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'm not a fan of picture usernames, they look stupid on the new answers page.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 7 January, 2009 10:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://picasion.com/pic6/17e7cc34b03503b88f5791cfaa7679f8.gif

― DANCE MUSIC STUCK AT RECOMBINANT PLATEAU (special guest stars mark bronson), Wednesday, 7 January, 2009 10:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I bought like 4 or 5 from him a few months ago and I think they are fab, the disco one is really really good.

― sleeve, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:18 PM (4 minutes ago)

you spent $50 on calvin johnson mixtapes

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:18 PM

sleeve saving the economy, 5 mixtapes at a time

― all-seeing eye of horus (psychgawsple), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:19 PM (3 minutes ago)

http://www.ubergizmo.com/photos/2007/10/segway-mom.jpg

― antexit, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 5:56 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha jergins' co-worker took that picture!

is that ned

ned be careful w/that baby wtf

shit ain't safe ned

ned, WHYTE PANTS?

nice bag though

I had to do what needed to be done. Shoulda put the baby in the bag though.

hi haters

― lex pretend, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 8:36 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hi lex.

― ♪㋡♫㋡ (gr8080), Wednesday, January 7, 2009 8:36 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

lol at s1ocki

Do I want to sleep with all of my (many many) attractive female friends? No.

Do I imagine what it might be like? Yes, of course.

And I have also imagined what it might be like to sleep with unattractive ladies, male friends, goats, etc.

I also imagine what it would be like to drive off a cliff. But I've never done it.

― Nate Carson, Monday, January 5, 2009 7:50 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what about your mom?

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Monday, January 5, 2009 7:51 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― jihad¯\㋡/¯ (ice cr?m), 06 January 2009 00:58

Actual LOL!

Whether his mom imagines what it would be like to drive over a cliff?

That as well.

whether his mom has ever 'done it'

with goats

well, doing it with goats almost suggests 'over a cliff' in any case.

why not both?

Doing it with Cliff in a car while driving over a goat?

also... tailpipe.jpg

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_jqJX6pTADhA/R_0EBM0wrnI/AAAAAAAABH0/QWAoTZuKemk/DSC_128801pp.JPG

do not watch if you love baby mountain goats

While Cliff sings "What car" ?

I thought my screenname "bunniculingus" was like the funniest thing ever for about 3 seconds, unfortunately in that 3 seconds I told everyone about it

― bunniculingus (Curt1s Stephens), Friday, January 9, 2009 3:22 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

went to restaurant last week and had raw human flesh served on a live barramundi for a plate. true story.

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, January 9, 2009 1:36 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

no it's not.

― s1ocki, Friday, January 9, 2009 1:37 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.stop-obama.org/wp-content/uploads/farrakhan_3.jpg

You are making yourself the urban legend cunnilingus peanut butter woman!
and you are making your partner the urban legend dog!

― Eazy, Friday, January 9, 2009 1:40 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

partial credit to abbs

I like ('like') that the pic is from stop-obama.org

I used to work as a plasterer - it's exactly like a cheap knock off version of P0lyfi11a

― snoball, Friday, January 9, 2009 6:50 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

?! the plastering cartel is pretty paranoid huh

― goole, Friday, January 9, 2009 6:51 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fucking LOATHE R4w1p1ug5

― I have "boned" two lesbians. Anything can happen. (country matters), Friday, January 9, 2009 6:54 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This nasty girl in my high school was "bragging" about how the way-older dude she was dating worked at KFC

"The Colonel"

― Eazy, Friday, January 9, 2009 10:56 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

guys just easier to do this tbh: if it's possible for a condom to be thinner than normal and still be safe, why wouldn't all condoms be that thin?

^ Was just going to do the same. Eazy is mining a golden seam of comic fucking awesomeness on that thread.

no "like spinning plates", no "where i end and you begin", no "morning bell", there is too much whiny, gutless stuff on that best of. and not enough psyched out, explosive stuff. how can i judge which is the worst when i don't know all of the tracks. but there is loads of crap i know. can someone please flush "ok computer" down the toilette, please?

― alex in mainhattan, Friday, January 9, 2009 10:42 AM (54 minutes ago)

There are many words I can think of to describe "Like Spinning Plates" and "Morning Bell" but "explosive" is so far away from being one of them it isn't funny.

― ^likes black girls (HI DERE), Friday, January 9, 2009 10:44 AM (52 minutes ago)

explose like in head exploses, knowwhatimean?

― alex in mainhattan, Friday, January 9, 2009 10:49 AM (47 minutes ago)

ok i try again. explosion doesn't necessarily mean a big bang of some physical device. the kind of explosion i find much more fascinating is an inner explosion. when something inside your head which you have held back for a long time suddenly comes to the fore. "you can keep the furniture", if that isn't an explosion of a relation, i don't know what is. doyoufuckinggetit?

― alex in mainhattan, Friday, January 9, 2009 11:33 AM (3 minutes ago)

"you can keep the furniture", if that isn't an explosion of a relation, i don't know what is. doyoufuckinggetit?

... No?

― ^likes black girls (HI DERE), Friday, January 9, 2009 11:36 AM (48 seconds ago)

This nasty girl in my high school was "bragging" about how the way-older dude she was dating worked at KFC

"The Colonel"

― Eazy, Friday, January 9, 2009 10:56 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

For Unlawful Colonel Knowledge?

:D

1,385 of 1,406 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The Secret saved my life!, December 4, 2007
By Ari Brouillette
Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.
My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be [...] raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.
Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.
The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.
Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)

He was arrested three times for crapping in a mailbox? Sounds like he was set up by a stool pigeon...

Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic
Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic

I heard that rapeophobia means you are actually rapeosexual

This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system

bad comedy writing.

Dr. Watson: But Holmes, how did you know that this man was the Phantom Defecator that has been terrorising London Town these past months?
Holmes: Alimentary, Dr. Watson.

I love bad comedy writing!

I BET HE WAS PICKED UP BY THE STATE POOPERS

I love that post!

i wonder how much time he will have to "doo"

He certainly hit the skids...

plus got fucked in the ass

"ass", geddit?

Also, what kind of prison is it where homebrew wine is called "Pruno"? Presumably it's made from prunes? Sounds more like a boarding school to me...

Oh, this story's a load of shite.

prison is basically just boarding school with tattoos

sooo... boarding school

more tattoos and less anal

best line was "$15 street value" imo

i laffed anyhow

Aye, "shite" puns aside, the payoff to that story is pure gold.

OMFG Pruno is actually real
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pruno

Aye, "shite" puns aside, the payoff to that story is pure gold.

― ailsa

Yup. My problem was loading thred and seeing the payoff first. And I was so hoping the build-up was gonna be totally non-jokey self-help blather. But no. Pruno jokes. Yah well.

yeah those pruno jokes, so overdone

Not overdone, no, but you know you're in a jokey prison story scenario long before the hollow cavity containing shiv appears. Therefore less of a spanner in the reality of the situation than it might be otherwise. Love the whole thing though. My "problem" was more that I read the punchline first, expected a different intro, and thus wrecked the joke for myself.

it'd have been really horrible if he'd stayed quiet and uninvolved and then next election cycle people did horrible "where is Joe now" and "how has Obama's administration been for Joe" pieces.

who's to say that these scenarios STILL won't happen after joe's israel gig?!?

― Mad Vigorish (Eisbaer), Friday, January 9, 2009 3:28 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

well, we are assuming he will be shot

― ^likes black girls (HI DERE), Friday, January 9, 2009 3:31 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

why wont this go away

Signs you spend too much time in threads with darraghmac: originally read that as "where is Jol now"

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/

Weird insomniac ultra-Christian white-dreads South African girl I was at uni with was or is a global moderator of that site

That was a fast three strikes

So the first two were balls, huh

Weird = approaches plate
insomniac = beaned

ultra-Christian = strike
white-dreads = strike
South African = fouls off
girl = base hit

I was at uni with = strike
was or is a global moderator of that site = pop fly

real lols

lol @ beaned

Am I the only one who really likes Taste?

― ecuador_with_a_c, Friday, January 9, 2009 8:24 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

really lacks taste maybe

― roxymuzak, Friday, January 9, 2009 8:24 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

rescu

Nice parenting there, Charles.

You have to give him credit for taking the boy on.

― Francisco Javier Sánchez Brot (onimo), Monday, 12 January 2009 15:03 (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

casual bush = my fav bush

― and what, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:49 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thats gonna end up on "quoted out of context" isnt it

― and what, Monday, 12 January 2009 19:51 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_el_pr/obama_bye_bye_boomers/print

― velko, Monday, January 12, 2009 12:32 PM (3 minutes ago)

Some call late boomers like Obama Cuspers

...right before they find themselves on the receiving end of a savage beatdown

― J0hn D., Monday, January 12, 2009 12:35 PM (37 seconds ago)

More luck with their Roy Orbison stuff from Friday, though: Legends has him being eulogised about by Bono and Elvis Costello and various Travelling Wilburys, amongst others; A Black & White Night is a concert from shortly before he died (I think) featuring him playing his hits alongside Elvis Costello, Tom Waits and some other people. Both til Friday.

― William Bloody Swygart, Monday, January 12, 2009 10:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah, he was still alive then.

― Mark G, Monday, January 12, 2009 10:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

if there are legitimate concerns with the transparency of this process the parties concerned may apply for an evaluation of their claims in the appropriate venue i.e. my crotch

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, January 13, 2009 10:18 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

I voted to nominate Norah Jones for Best Actress, that's how sensational a year it was.

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, January 13, 2009 4:13 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

no, that's how much of a spaz you are.

― special guest stars mark bronson, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 15:33 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

enrique, ladies.

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 15:34 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yes?

― Enrique (Raw Patrick), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 15:41 (53 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

What have I done now?

― Enrique (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 13 January 2009 15:59 (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

who is s.g.s.m.b., then?

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 16:02 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

:p

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 16:03 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i'd say we should do some syngergistic team-up, but clearly none of the tubbos on that label have eaten anything with only 7 grams of fat in it ever

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 17:14 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ill bill has, there's only 2 grams in raekwon's semen

― and what, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 17:15 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol before you post shit from 77 on excelsior make sure no one has noted that the info was only posted on 77 cuz it cant be googled

and that right there is how the mod magic happens

hahahahahah now it looks like there was concern that raekwon and ill bill might be googling themselves and get pissed

valid concern

yeah, shit, sorry dudes. have been drilled as to my boo-boo, won't happen again.

thankful 4 the excelsior but yeah

never banh whiney mi whinegarten

― xhuxk d (deej), Tuesday, January 13, 2009 11:35 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

subway q olivegarden

― and what, Tuesday, January 13, 2009 11:38 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

does last.fm no longer scrobble the stuff you've listened to on their radio stations?

― R. L. Stinebeck (John Justen), Monday, January 12, 2009 7:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It did for me yesterday. But not for bimble (he was playing goth radio but it didnt show up)

― Pfunkboy Formerly Known As... (Herman G. Neuname), Monday, January 12, 2009 7:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It assumes the goths will have suicided by then.

― mark taylor, mark dickhead morelike (Autumn Almanac)

ho ho

Man sells daughter for cash, meat and beer

Robert Kennedy Jr. is also on the MMR vaccine causes autism bandwagon, I think.

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, January 13, 2009 8:30 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah, he wrote an article for rolling stone a few years back (which i have not read)

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Wednesday, 14 January 2009 02:35 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my dad is a pediatrician and this shit makes him foam at the mouth

― horseshoe, Wednesday, 14 January 2009 02:37 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he should get that looked at

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Wednesday, 14 January 2009 02:37

yeah, why do you play me so hard, e?

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 5:27 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ease up, homie, damn.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 5:28 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

dont point your foot-long at me dogg i only got on this thread after a dozen other ppl hardsonned you ahead of me - this is slocki seconds at best

― and what, Wednesday, January 14, 2009 5:28 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I dunno, it's almost custosish but I LOLed anyway.

these antivaccine people remind me of those who thought letterboxing was blocking out parts of films they had seen in the theater

― shook pwns (omar little), Wednesday, January 14, 2009 2:48 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahahaha

1. epona was shit
2. riding that bastard horse was like racing a fucking sherman tank
3. wind wanker was boring but at least one could pilot the frigging boat without it crashing into things every 4.2 seconds and taking 4 mins to reverse/rotate/reverse/rotate/etc/etc
4. epona was a tory
5. jumping that bastard fucking horse over logs almost always ended in tears and broken controllers
6. show me a horse that PIVOTS ON THE SPOT and I'll show you my actual testicles

― mark taylor, mark dickhead morelike (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, January 13, 2009 11:44 AM (2 days ago)

epona was a tory

how about "dog house"... that was only rolled out when dogs got domesticated

― s1ocki, Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:30 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that's not how it works

― and what, Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:34 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

maybe if in the future the word "house" goes from meaning a house to being a dog house and we need a new word to specify a people house like "human house"

― and what, Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:35 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ok but dog FOOD works

― s1ocki, Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:37 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

only if the generic word "food" used to mean dog food but now we have to clarify... what is your problem with this dude

― and what, Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:39 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sorry, i should clarify that both my examples are from the dog's point of view

― s1ocki, Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:42 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

love it when and what plays the straight man.

Looking to get right back into it after finishing college. Got the new updated bird guide and all.

― single-issue white nonhipster (country matters), Thursday, January 15, 2009 6:19 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Because they've changed the design of all the birds since the first one?

― snoball, Thursday, January 15, 2009 6:20 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

gotta find out what new birds are coming out in '09

― Tracy Michael Jordan Catalano (Jordan), Thursday, January 15, 2009 6:21 PM (42 seconds ago) Bookmark

l0uis 0ddie

http://www.gasolinealleyantiques.com/sports/baseball/images/memorabilia/77sportsquarterly.JPG

?

Contenderizer, we already recognize that culture exists; that battle has long been fought and won

― nabisco, Thursday, January 15, 2009 10:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ow my balls

― El Tomboto, Thursday, January 15, 2009 11:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The song was also covered by Cathy Dennis as a CD single and on the album 'Am I The Kinda Girl' (1996). It was released as a single and reached number 11 in the UK charts. The video featured Cathy in a black taxi cab driving through North London showing from time to time the back of the cab driver's head. At the end of the song, the driver turns round and turns out to be Ray Davies.

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Friday, 16 January 2009 10:29 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

He is masturbating furiously

― The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Friday, 16 January 2009 10:29 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Then she shoots him.

― "Two Ears" Laybelle (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 January 2009 10:30 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Fez - Being Born - this must be the Moroccan track

― djmartian, Friday, 16 January 2009 13:04 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

In re: Morbz

--

how you swing between being the world's most cynical man and its most naif is a thing of wonder

― Edward III, Friday, January 16, 2009 10:51 AM (2 minutes ago)

eat it

im back to hating morbz after he shitted on gremlins 2

"back to"

yeah I missed the tree with ethan luvz morbz carved in it too

but for the record I don't hate morbz I was just making an observation

it struck me as a kind of mean-spirited post I gotta say

well, I don't gotta, really, I just feel like it

it struck me as more truth bomb than LOL

the truth can be cruel xxp

the truth can be lol

he was showin mad morbzluv in the montalban thread

truth be lold

stuff white people like [Started by Tracer Hand in February 2008, last updated 42 seconds ago by ^likes black girls (HI DERE)] 236 new answers

I love this record and I'm super happy that everybody else loves it too.

Compared to other latter-day Animal Collective records, I don't love the mix. It's bright and compressed and lacking in subtlety and it makes my ears ring. This record reminds me of Jagged Little Pill, or Is This It... it'll sounds great on the radio but not on the headphones.

― Owen Pallett, Saturday, January 17, 2009 5:37 AM (3 hours ago)

so you're saying that this is basically our generation's "jagged little pill"?

― s1ocki, Saturday, January 17, 2009 8:24 AM (51 minutes ago)

IN CONCLUSION:

well, that was disappointing. I've had angrier burgers at church picnics. one good thing to come out of all this tho: I have decided to put texas pete on all my burgerz from now on because that shit is mad-tasty

― georgeous gorge (bernard snowy), Saturday, January 17, 2009 12:50 PM (1 hour ago)

urf

starting to regret this decision

― georgeous gorge (bernard snowy), Saturday, January 17, 2009 1:42 PM (14 minutes ago)

Duran Duran was always awful and saying otherwise is futile yearning for one's childhood

even the "good" DD songs are totally pukeful

― J0hn D., Sunday, January 18, 2009 4:24 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not that I don't love them

― J0hn D., Sunday, January 18, 2009 4:24 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Real-life lol. <3 j0hn

pukeful is a+

^^^ carlton banks

It feels a little bit too transparent, but then I always hate any ad that cycles through stereotypical visions of decades past to remind you that the product's been around forever. (Except when Tampax did it, because there is something riskier and cooler about being all "Tampax: soaking up the menstrual blood of your ancestors ever since your grandma's menarche.")

― nabisco, Monday, January 19, 2009 7:19 PM (1 minute ago)

xpost. The man's name is Alfonso Ribeiro, plus that video is older than God.

I understand that, as his name is displayed straight off, and is on the eback of his chair.

"Julie Dreyfus as Francesca Mondino: Joseph Goebbel's mistress.[36]"

Hahaha

― Alex in SF, Wednesday, January 21, 2009 12:05 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Oh wait Julie Dreyfus isn't the lady from Seinfeld. Nevermind. It's not funny now.

― Alex in SF, Wednesday, January 21, 2009 12:17 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Cute baby!

Oh wait it's a fence"

^ a man, earlier

― Bondzilla vs Mechaholmes (blueski), Thursday, 22 January 2009 04:56

you people are unbelievable. someone took a poo in ur eye, you'd be all on DID NOT SUCK SLOCK1 OTM THROUGHOUT

― Calling All Creeps! (contenderizer), Tuesday, January 20, 2009 7:00 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha what thread is that from

superman/bryan singer thread!

So when you get a boyrfriend you have to leave ILX?

― Tuomas, Thursday, January 22, 2009 6:53 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you can stay

― moonship journey to baja, Thursday, January 22, 2009 6:58 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lisa it's your birthday
happy birthday lisa

^ I sing this to my dog at least 4 times a week, except with the dog's name instead of "Lisa" and often with other stuff instead of "birthday," like stuff about pooping and chicken treats

― nabisco, Friday, January 23, 2009 11:18 AM (6 minutes ago)

nabisco jr you are pooping
happy pooping nabs jr

― Mr. Que, Friday, January 23, 2009 11:23 AM (2 minutes ago)

ok lol that the dog is somehow nabisco junior

"a puppy"

As you might imagine:

C/D - Cleaning your disgusting ass partner because you're having a rare guest over

did nabisco jr. inspire "a puppy" or vice versa?

i don't think either is true

he doesn't even have a dog? what a jerk

no no, he has a dog

oh youre just calling his dog nabisco jr, i thought you meant "nabisco jr" as a conceptual thing

In other news today, the President has chatted with the leaders of the PLA, Israel, Jordan, & Egypt.

― kingfish, Thursday, January 22, 2009 5:12 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

like in AIM chatz?

― s1ocki, Thursday, January 22, 2009 5:13 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pfunkboy your like a rock chick tease

http://www.scotweb.co.uk/club_images/largeitems/sr_hotch_bra_pants_suspenders.jpg

― djmartian, Friday, January 23, 2009 9:32 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That isn't a rawk chick

― Pfunkboy Formerly Known As... (Herman G. Neuname), Friday, January 23, 2009 9:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

well i couldn't find roxymuzak in suspenders on the interweb

― djmartian, Friday, January 23, 2009 9:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

o_O

Need emoticon for hands over eyes whilst smashing head up and down on the desk.

if there ever was proof that ilm needed to be shut down for the safety of us all

O_O

omfg

hey don't blame me

blame roxymuzak.

unsurprising dearth of lols from the last few posts

special guest stars mark bronson, Saturday, January 24, 2009 6:14 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

unsurprising dearth of lols from the last few posts

― TOMBOT, Saturday, January 24, 2009 6:16 PM (51 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ classic material, hardlolling

yeah that was almost as funny as that thread where 900 people got massive thrillz over someone saying pretending to accidentally say "ass partner"

1. INTERIOR - ZING CASTLE

"someone"

"to watch over me"

will the lolz never cease

whatever burt stanton is always funny

I love it when Martian gets smooth with the laydeez.

what does that djmartian post even mean

suspenders?!?!?!

this gave me a random mental image of roxy as a skinhead which is O_o

welcome to high school tbh

did u hav a chelsea

10th gis result for "roxy" and "suspenders"
http://www.eatonvillenews.net/images/Bob/FLAG%20DISPOSAL%20AM.%20LEGION%20RED%20SUSPENDERS%20BURNING%20FLAG%20RED%20SUSPENDERS%20(OP)%20JUNE%2013,%202006%20009.jpg

haha now this is more like it

no i did not have a chelsea, i had many pals with chelseas though

when a pal called me an ethnic perjorative for having curly hair and started what amounted to a "shank fight" at foothills mall thats kinda when i broke with that cru

it took me a minute to realize the difference between "punks" and "racist skinheads"

roxy, suspenders in the UK are something different from in the US (a garter belt).

well im sure that makes things much better

ugh

what the shit

rolling metal: dead to me

not that anyone actually reads each others posts there anyway

It is a bit creepy and weird, yes. (lol "a bit")

the rolling metal thread or DJ Martians post? ;)

Having just been told what suspenders mean in America double lol. Esp when you all found out what dj meant.

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

If Larry King were on the BBC, would all of this mean he'd be wearing a garter belt?

Braces, Stan. Braces. Same name as the shiny wire dental appliances.

Phew!

(xpost) Which Americans call a retainer.

i am tempted to suggest not retain djmartian.

no, the braces and the retainer are different.

retainers and braces are different

boo xpost

aka galluses (the Larry King thingies)

god WHAT

ok this is officially worst lol thread ever

do a GIS on "galluses", roxy

xp if you're american perhaps

NO

guide to uk->us english

a slut is a tramp and a tramp is a bum and a bum is a fanny and a fanny is a PUNANI

i feel like ive gone back in tme 4 years

i dunno im lolling pretty hard @ all of you

And the ending is almost... precious?!

So, too, is the subext. Not the 9/11 one but the one where Tom Cruise demonstrates the explosive productiveness of unleashing his load up the rectum of the tripods.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, July 8, 2005 11:51 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

'uk'

It was years before I realised that Americans call winos "winos" because they drink wine. In the UK winos drink strong lager.

another episode of british people not making sense.

don't tar us with snoball's brush.

more than fair

is snoball a chick?

No I'm not

hahahaha

'snoball' is the girliest user name.

i'm gay btw so it's ok with me sweetie

I always thought that "snoball" was gender neutral

and you also thought that 'wino' related more to 'strong lager' than 'wine.'

maybe you're like 16 in which case i'm sorry for 'badgering' u

he's a sock, btw

I'm not a woman, or gay, or 16, or a sockpuppet.
Now someone ask me if I'm larger than a breadbox... :)

Do you drive a boxcar?

I wish I'd been rickrolled. Brian Wilson is rolling in his grave.

― Owen Pallett, Monday, January 26, 2009 6:40 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

perhaps it should have more gratuitous string sections

― all-seeing eye of horus (psychgawsple), Monday, January 26, 2009 7:05 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

you laughed out loud at that

The "AC Song titles" thread is elsewhere.

I did Roxy, though the one who admitted to doing so was Plaxico on that thread, not me ;)

Hey, what R&B acts in particular does Wild Honey remind you of? I like it, but I've always felt like I missed this R&B connection everyone talks about.

― Mark, Sunday, January 25, 2009 12:31 PM (Yesterday)

The Spencer Davis Group, The Lovin' Spoonful, The Young Rascals, early pre-"Satisfaction" Stones

― Mr. Snrub, Sunday, January 25, 2009 1:33 PM (Yesterday)

...Ya know, white guys.

― The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, January 25, 2009 5:04 PM (Yesterday)

Why do I only ever get Excelsiored three years later?

so it doesnt go to your head.

Your comments are like wine?

ur ahead of yr time

xxxpost sez guy who gets excelsiorized for sneezing

Comments like whine, lolwtf amirite?

dont get cocky

I think I just killed any chance of it ever happening again.

sneezing?

sneezing?

― s1ocki, Monday, January 26, 2009 7:16 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

XD

slocki should get his own thread, imo

SLOKI U DA MANS !!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL

ERIC H U TOO (*) !!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!

(*) or at least, you were three years ago

sneezing?

― s1ocki, Monday, January 26, 2009 7:16 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

― Mr. Que, Monday, January 26, 2009 1:17 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

atchoo!!!!! ;)

lololololz

Eric, a lame swat at me will increase yr excelsiorability 73%

Morbs smells like poo

OTM

look on the bright side burt you just found 11 tacos

― ice cr?m, Monday, 26 January 2009 21:19 (55 minutes ago)

DG killin it on this thread.

― special guest stars mark bronson, Friday, 23 January 2009 13:38 (4 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a sad day for british justice

― yungblut, Friday, 23 January 2009 14:27 (4 days ago)

face buttons identified by weird symbols instead of letters

Yeah, why have jump as triangle when every fool knows it's 'A'?

― Andrew Farrell, Friday, January 23, 2009 4:30 AM (4 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Maybe John Boehner will be her running mate!

― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Tuesday, January 27, 2009 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

PALIN'S GOT A BOEHNER: THE 2012 REPUBLICAN PRIMARY THREAD

― mayor jingleberries, Tuesday, January 27, 2009 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Most overrated movies of 2008 that also make bad hypothetical rapper names:

The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E
Iron Man
Man On Wire
BENNY BUTTONZ
Gran Torino
Milk
Sin-ek Da KEY (New York)

― Joe Bob 1 Tooth (Hurting 2), Monday, January 26, 2009 1:15 AM (2 days ago)

How blind?

I mean, like, someone you have never met before or even seen a picture of, that was a friend of a friend that you got set up with? Or someone you'd looked at, scoped, checked out on the internets beforehand? There's whole new levels of "blind" WRT "blind dates" these days. Apparently.

― I've Got A MYSTERIOUS BOX And I'm Going To Open It (Masonic Boom), Wednesday, January 28, 2009 4:05 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

literally dating a person blinfolded

― cupcakes off the shoulder of orion (latebloomer)

Even though I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't like it, I can't see "This Is How We Do It" losing this.

― BAROQUE AS A JOKE! (PappaWheelie V), Wednesday, January 28, 2009 9:30 PM (1 hour ago)

Really? I would have predicted one of the TLC songs. (Also, I am killfiling you.)

― punk floyd (The Reverend), Wednesday, January 28, 2009 9:32 PM (1 hour ago)

srsly those solemn pictures of the duped mom w/ 6 kids had me going for a sec then i finished reading the article and was like http://i13.tinypic.com/4tgvcyd.jpg

― jordy (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:10 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

its ok to feel for retards tho

― ice cr?m, Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

tru - thx for guiding me thru this troubling article

― jordy (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

np

― ice cr?m, Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

who was even taking that picture of dude with pregnant wife

― MIRV Griffin (goole), Thursday, January 22, 2009 7:47 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

his other pregnant wife

― Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Thursday, January 22, 2009 7:48 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

:/

trying to think of something funny to say about the fact that there are THREE rednex singles

― max, Thursday, January 29, 2009 9:25 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

where did they come from, where did they go?

― some dude, Thursday, January 29, 2009 1:22 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

:D

haw

lol

Dinosaur Pile-Up

This is a good example of how to do the Google-friendly band name properly.

Two Minute Noodles

This really, really isn't.

― Matt DC, Friday, 30 January 2009 12:04 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That wasn't really meant to be funny.

That wasn't really meant to be funny.

― Matt DC, Friday, 30 January 2009 12:15 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

laughing with!

Aren't there two Enriques?

Just put Dom midway between the two of them, see which one he runs to first.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 14:47 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.teachwithmovies.org/guides/midway-DVDfiles.jpg

sorry i just quite like that word

http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ehhzu7.gif

What other Scottish things could you say, Omino? i am curious (tartan)

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Friday, January 30, 2009 6:52 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The girls have penises, the boys have vaginas.

― Deric W. Haircare

^^^ everything you need to know about young Skywalker. Not only does he have a vagina, he lives on a planet MADE OF SAND.

― mose def (kenan), Friday, January 30, 2009 2:55 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And there's a giant vagina in the sand!

― Tuomas, Friday, January 30, 2009 3:01 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark

knew i shoulda just started a fucking Carrie Fisher thread

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 30 January 2009 18:14 (2 hours ago) Permalink

How many people here have fucked her, though, Morbs?

― It is not enough to love mankind – you must be able to stand (Michael White), Friday, 30 January 2009 18:16 (2 hours ago) Permalink

Did she get into drugs thanks to hanging around with the blues brothers, or vice versa?

― kingfish, Friday, 30 January 2009 18:19 (1 hour ago) Permalink

she got belushi hooked on coke

― and what, Friday, 30 January 2009 18:41 (1 hour ago) Permalink

I bet that took a lot of effort

― Courtney Love's Jew Loan Officer (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 January 2009 18:44 (1 hour ago)

gold stars for all on that roundelay

Gold star for saying "roundelay," while we're at it.

Why do I sometimes feel I'm the only male here who can talk about menstruation in a reasonable manner?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, November 5, 2003 4:06 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i picture him saying that at a party gazing deeply in to his preys eyes over a swirling snifter of cognac

hahahaha omg srsly i luv u tuomas

and his prey retains a neutral facial expression but has a dramatic thought bubble. xp

If it's gonna be that kind of party I'm gonna bleed into the mashed potato

good 'tude t'ward 'struation

er enstruations

she got belushi hooked on coke

― and what, Friday, 30 January 2009 18:41 (1 hour ago) Permalink

I bet that took a lot of effort

― Courtney Love's Jew Loan Officer (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 30 January 2009 18:44 (1 hour ago)

lol'd v. hard at this

just saw this thread and i am takin it all in but let me be 500% real with this - tuomas - im inviting u to enjoy the flavour of my balls

― and what, Saturday, January 31, 2009 5:25 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

choking

ahem

ethans ballsac invitations

ballzac invites

http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb270/systime/Gifffs1234/fw2clujpg.gif

Me, ENBB and Estela: a female E-name troika of power?!

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 31 January 2009 23:35 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

estela isn't her real name ; )

― america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), Saturday, 31 January 2009 23:36 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

emily, enbb and er

― estela, Saturday, 31 January 2009 23:46 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

er indoors?

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 31 January 2009 23:48 (1 minute ago) Bookmark

can there be a ban on any and all rappers ever calling themselves "chi-town guevara" or "el che" or "chi guevara" or any of that bullshit cause it drives me nuts that the dudes don't even say dude's name right

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, January 30, 2009 8:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Che Smith, known by the stage name of Rhymefest, is an American hip hop artist (born July 6, 1977) from the South side of Chicago in the Jeffrey Manor neighborhood of South Deering whose first official album, Blue Collar, was released on July 11, 2006. The Grammy Award winning co-writer of Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" is signed to Mark Ronson's Allido Records.

― The Reverend, Friday, January 30, 2009 10:07 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh shit hush my mouth

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, January 30, 2009 10:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's kinda metaphorical tho. Like the camera is Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen's crotch is Bruce Springsteen's crotch.

― TACO BIZZLE (The Reverend), Monday, February 2, 2009 3:56 AM (7 hours ago)

Thread needs Marcello to defend Carol T

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Tom D.), 03 February 2009 13:14 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
A Good Tory

― america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), 03 February 2009 13:18 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

chai guevarra

He's gotten significantly less charming over the years.

― Alex in SF, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 19:54 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

He was charming at one point?

― i'm shy (Abbott), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:12 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

when he was almost dying from mcdonald's food

― as much dandelion as you can put in there (latebloomer), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:14 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

He was channeling the Grimace!

― i'm shy (Abbott), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 20:16 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

where's david duke going to go NOW, then?!? or has he already become affiliated with some other, non-republican party -- i'm not up on the doings of david duke.

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:33 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he is going to start a New Party, he says

― horseshoe, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:33 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

David Duke's Bayou Reich

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:34 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Sauerkraut 'n' jambalaya

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:35 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Weekend at Dukey's

― WmC, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:35 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

das dukey's Reich

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:36 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

can we start a party called "David Duke Is A Cunt"?

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, February 4, 2009 6:37 AM (14 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Really all the Internet's done is allowed thousands of people to read stories that back in the day would only have been seen by terrified kidnap victims.

― The Tracks of My Balls (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, February 4, 2009 7:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

looooooool

from 100 Actual Worst Writers Of All Time:

13. a baby

― max, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 1:55 AM

40. a illiterate man

― max, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 11:37 AM (Yesterday)

Well ok if we're talking that far back I'd like to have words with whoever wrote the King James bible, that thing is a bleedin mess.

― one art, please (Trayce), Thursday, February 5, 2009 4:57 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That would be God, miss.

― i'm shy (Abbott), Thursday, February 5, 2009 5:01 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the people who spend time writing about productivity on the internet are all the kind unproductive retards who buy dedicated hosting so they can post about brands of notepaper and juice bottle hacks.

(caek)

xpostable to truth bombs tht one

Billboard #1 Albums From 1997

Damn. This was the year I started working at Sam Goody. Damn.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, February 5, 2009 9:57 AM (42 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(shakes head. walks away.)

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, February 5, 2009 9:57 AM (30 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Really all the Internet's done is allowed thousands of people to read stories that back in the day would only have been seen by terrified kidnap victims.

― The Tracks of My Balls (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, February 4, 2009 7:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that's brilliant

"You guys know your president, right? You know the one with the big ears? Wait a minute, he ain't my president. He might be yours; he ain't my president. But I tell you that woman he had singing for him, singing my song — she's going to get her ass whipped. The great Beyoncé. Like I said, she ain't mine. ... I can't stand Beyoncé. She has no business up there, singing up there on a big ol' president day, gonna be singing my song that I've been singing forever." - Etta James

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, February 5, 2009 12:43 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

file under "statements made by people with a history of mental illness approaching the age of senility"

― Tina Fey's narrative bonsai (I DIED), Thursday, February 5, 2009 1:11 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

referring to Etta, just to clarify.

― Tina Fey's narrative bonsai (I DIED), Thursday, February 5, 2009 1:12 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I wish there was a holiday called Big Ol' President Day.

looool @ I DIED

rocketbutt lady looks like kate crossed w/ed

― cozwn, Thursday, February 5, 2009 4:31 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i have to stand next to and listen to gabbneb and tell you what his breath smells like

― cutty, Thursday, February 5, 2009 4:49 PM (39 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

does it smell like jurisprudence

― Mr. Que, Thursday, February 5, 2009 4:49 PM (20 seconds ago)

How the hell is it fair to say that R&B eschews emotional concerns in favor of more concreteness?

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Friday, February 6, 2009 5:23 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You do realise it doesn't matter because it isn't actually a serious argument?

― Holy Suffering Gobi Desert Clit Nun (Matt DC), Friday, February 6, 2009 5:24 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

well, yeah

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Friday, February 6, 2009 5:26 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Today a wise old lady at the grocery store told me that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Unfortunately i had already checked out and had only bought limes. Also she was crippled. FML

― Stanning the place where you whirr (John Justen), Saturday, 7 February 2009 21:59 (Yesterday) Bookmark

remember when you were a little kid and you thought "wow, grownups are so uptight!"

apparently it's because they were mightily suppressing the urge to kill us

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Monday, February 9, 2009 11:02 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Classic rockist example: the hands which played that piano refrain on the second part of "Layla" are the same hands the musician subsequently used to strangle his mother.

– Marcello Carlin on Tuesday, 20 March 2007 10:43 (2 hours ago)

But he was a schizophrenic (and I think he actually beat her to death with a hammer - not that that makes any differnce) which I think makes it a difficult comparison.

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, March 20, 2007 12:55 PM (1 year ago)

Beat her to death with a hammer then stamped on her face... I think coffee was involved too

― Tom D., Tuesday, March 20, 2007 12:58 PM (1 year ago)

noooo!!!! and I liked coffee so much before I knew this :-(

― StanM, Tuesday, March 20, 2007 1:02 PM (1 year ago)

my sophomore year at college these kids studying allen kaprow were supposed to do a 'happening' and they made all these flyers saying zack braff was coming to talk at our school--and all these kids showed up to the place where it was supposed to be and it was this tiny little room that they crammed themselves in--and then all was revealed: zack braff wasnt coming and they had just been 'happened' or whatever.

― max, Monday, February 9, 2009 2:56 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ahahahahha

sonned by college kids in a po-mo braff beef

Look, there is no way Cheap Trick are not going to claim my Beatles soul.

"If You Want My Love"

― Gross Chapel British Grenadiers (Bimble), Monday, February 9, 2009 2:23 PM (2 hours ago)

It's all your fault, ilx. I blame all of you.

― Gross Chapel British Grenadiers (Bimble), Monday, February 9, 2009 2:24 PM (2 hours ago)

I know you guys want to fight me down the pub, I know, but I'm going to have to take you on.

― Gross Chapel British Grenadiers (Bimble), Monday, February 9, 2009 2:25 PM (2 hours ago)

i am going to walk behind you with a pipe, ominously whistling "he's a whore"

― Yah Trick Ya Kid K (M@tt He1ges0n), Monday, February 9, 2009 2:26 PM (2 hours ago)

ahahaha

my sophomore year at college these kids studying allen kaprow were supposed to do a 'happening' and they made all these flyers saying zack braff was coming to talk at our school--and all these kids showed up to the place where it was supposed to be and it was this tiny little room that they crammed themselves in--and then all was revealed: zack braff wasnt coming and they had just been 'happened' or whatever.

― max, Monday, February 9, 2009 2:56 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Monday, February 9, 2009 2:57 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

You got HAPPENED

Nigerian happening.

Actually, what someone DID do when I was in college was put out a bunch of fliers about how you could make $200 for participating in a research thing about condom sizing, and you should show up at 7am if your penis was longer than 9 inches, and 8am if it was fewer -- people who showed up at 8am found a sign saying the study had been canceled due to the school's lack of penis size. This got a lot of dudes out of bed at 7:30 in the morning, is the thing.

― nabisco, Monday, 9 February 2009 20:04 (Yesterday)

my sophomore year at college these kids studying allen kaprow were supposed to do a 'happening' and they made all these flyers saying zack braff was coming to talk at our school--and all these kids showed up to the place where it was supposed to be and it was this tiny little room that they crammed themselves in--and then all was revealed: zack braff wasnt coming and they had just been 'happened' or whatever.

― max, Monday, February 9, 2009 2:56 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

which is worse, that the kids got happened or that they got happened expecting to see zack braff?

I dunno, but it's not one that Yoko would have done.

ilx culture jamming would presumably involve marcello standing in a branch of clinton cards screaming at the staff for not stocking the new derek bailey lp

― admin log special guest star (DG), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 10:41 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

marcello doing anything is pretty funny imo

I would pay so much money to see Chris Brown attacked by robots.

― i and i overstand ilx bomboclaat formatting n ting (The Reverend), Tuesday, February 10, 2009 2:43 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

SBARRO. NOT PIZZA PROBLEM. CHANE STOREFRODS IN MALLS, IS DOUBLE WHAMY. TRAFFIC DOWN. CONSUBERS PUT AWAY WALITS. CAN'T BOOST REVANUE. CAN'T ADD BREKFESET OR LATE MENU. NOT LIKE OTHER CHANE. COMPEDIDORS LIKE DOMANO AND PIZZUT NO DEBT. STRONG CASH FLOW. INTENISY PRESSURE ON SBARRO AS KEY DET PAYMENTS COME DUE IN 2009.

― mumps (iiiijjjj), Tuesday, February 10, 2009 7:01 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

round of applause!

INTENISY PRESSURE ON SBARRO

You still don't want to be called a Yankee, though, but that has more to do with carpetbaggers and Illinois retirees who complain about there not being any salt trucks when the roads get iced over.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, February 9, 2009 5:05 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No salt on the roads? What the hell, do you use the crushed up bones of our valiant Union soldiers?

― mullah mangenius (brownie), Monday, February 9, 2009 5:08 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I-40, never forget

― mullah mangenius (brownie), Monday, February 9, 2009 5:10 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

fantastic dommage

― s1ocki, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 9:28 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

dogg... an el-p pun... did u just

― and what, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 9:40 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

dad jux

― max, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 9:41 AM (5 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Wait max, so if Lenny Kravits comes out of the closet what am I supposed to call him?

"untalented douchebag" will suffice.

― Ein kluges Äpfelchen (Eisbaer), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 15:46 (26 minutes ago) Permalink

What on earth is Marissa singing in the chorus of "Emu"? To me it sounds exactly like: "He'll get to know you/he likes a poo/he'll wrap around you/a wishypoo" That can't be right, but what else could it possibly be?

Hmm...

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Tuesday, November 9, 2004 9:22 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Oh no. Marissa's not back is she?

dope track btw

Emu is the only Marissa song I can remember

um, the actual lyric is on ILM (Current Threads) right now...

Yeah, that's what made me go back and look up that old post.

i would SO welcome a marissa marchant return right about now ... it even fits in w/ the zeitgeist, yo.

31. Puncture repair advice from Neil Young in The Needle and The Damage Done

― cat anatomy expert (ledge), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 9:49 AM

On the songs about bicycle safety thread.

Probably? I just suspect that deep down (or maybe not that deep) the cumulative white viewpoint is that they're more different from their white neighbors than black people are from other black people. Purely supposition.

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 4:18 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Partly based on my kind of recent realization that people mean black when they say "urban", for instance.

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 4:19 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

urban = saggin

― noticing the cloud come (contenderizer), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 4:20 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

am i supposed to read that backwards

― and what, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 4:21 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

efil4

2. Construct your life such that you're not handling food while standing above expanses of poo, and you will never have to formulate a position on whether you would eat something that had been dropped in poo.

maybe you get off your high horse, yeah?

― (I have the documentary) (rent), Thursday, 12 February 2009 08:05 (1 hour ago)

that whole thread is recursive loops of lol

THE 5 SECOND RULE

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v81/plechazunga/ilx/cowher-dawkins.gif

― AllyzayEisenschefterBDawkinsFlyingSquirrelRomoCrying.jpg (allyzay), Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:32 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ah priests, many too weird for this unholy world to ever understand.

― Local Garda, Thursday, February 12, 2009 2:21 PM (11 minutes ago)

if you're having a drink tonight...or at the weekend, perhaps take a moment and pour a small drop out for those priests who are no longer with us.

― Local Garda, Thursday, February 12, 2009 2:22 PM (10 minutes ago)

... and who are now in the nonce's wing in prison

― Vitbe Is Good Bread (Tom D.), Thursday, February 12, 2009 2:23 PM (9 minutes ago)

from 5 second rule thread, actual lols:

P.S. The more I think about this, I realize I have a mental map of the entire apartment and the areas of floor I would / wouldn't eat off of

― nabisco, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 12:48 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i like threads where nabisco slowly realizes how insane he is

― s1ocki, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 12:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No matter how many Internet dating threads you start Lorax you still smell like feet.

― also *free* online sex personals - got any links? (libcrypt), Thursday, 12 February 2009 19:05 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whole foods peanut butter has not killed me yet, despite prayers

― PappaWheelie V, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 6:57 AM (Yesterday)

at first I thought the black kids were vampires but then the porn music kicked in

― mullah mangenius (brownie), Thursday, February 12, 2009 4:03 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

They're all like "hey there, come on into my nad cabin"

― nabisco, Thursday, February 12, 2009 2:06 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark

http://i41.tinypic.com/xc520h.jpg

lol that guy subscribes to slate

haha my bad... fastin is not a boner drug.

google first, joke later. shit.

xp yeah, that guy.

I used to subscribe to Slate's daily newspaper summary, and stand by it as a good idea

sonned

sonned by a fastin in a limp-dick beef

You sure?

It's called "Fast In" for a kickoff..

summed.

cummed

I haven't heard Danity Kane but I'm assuming that he's better than MGMT

― Robin van Injury (country matters), Friday, February 13, 2009 12:20 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahaha i had not spotted the pronoun there. that is priceless.

oxbridge: where danity is a man.

Manity Kane is going to be the biggest drag show on the Vegas strip in 20 years

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=manity%20kane

oh shit

What's it all about, Alfie the 13-year-old father?

whole thread is roffles

especially jel, omg

Yeah, I guess I should've worded the title better. To me "brainless" can be good.

― Tuomas, Monday, February 16, 2009 11:42 AM (5 hours ago)

hmmmmmmmm

― From Rax to Rich's (jjjusten), Monday, February 16, 2009 4:57 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"upholsterers who regularly repair both expensive antiques and shitty sectionals"

― Tracer Hand, Monday, February 16, 2009 4:59 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Back in the day, Stylus used to get a lot of hits for people searching for stuff like "pissing dom texas" if I was reviewing some alt.country schmucks and used "pissing" as a adjective.

― Ringtone bisexual bible shower (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Monday, February 16, 2009 6:24 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

when they were really looking for erotic vacation snapshots of yours?

― s1ocki, Monday, 16 February 2009 18:28 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dom Pissinonyoo

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 16 February 2009 18:29 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I find it appropriate to make love the way Satan has taught us, reversing and defiling each Christian teaching. I do this, not for pleasure, but for spiritual cold necro hatefulness, you understand. It is a form of worship. This I tell Drusilla of course.

― Janne Karlsson, Thursday, November 4, 2004 6:19 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark

It took five years, but it finally got a laugh.

I think that entire thread got a fairly healthy titter tbqfh

old-time tragedy: guy becomes king, learns that queen is actually his own mother
modern-day tragedy: Travis the Celebrity Chimp tears off your face

― J0hn D., Tuesday, February 17, 2009 12:28 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Bad Girl" is a problematic song for Rihanna, it's good that they gave it to someone else. She sounds enough like a sheep without being given a chorus that goes "baa-ba-baaaaa."

― brainless popcorn (some dude), Tuesday, February 17, 2009 3:49 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

J0hn D is a regular lol-quote machine.

If this thread turns into a thread of people talking about what they were talking about on twitter I think I might just well go shoot myself.

― one art, please (Trayce), Tuesday, February 17, 2009 8:12 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Moka

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, 18 February 2009 05:34 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Hey Moka

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, 18 February 2009 05:34 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink