Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

Anthea Turner is down to her last million or something.

'Those people who moan about you driving around in your nice big car are forgetting the guy who washes the car now hasn't got a job or who did the maintenance on it.'

Referring to herself in the third person, she added: 'There is no way Anthea Turner can complain about anything in her life.'

lol smacked off her tits

I really tried hard to feel some sympathy for her and not fall into the trap the DM sets which is - haha look at this oik who thought she was better than us - but it's soooooooooo difficult.

Referring to oneself in the third person - confirmation of encroaching insanity.

Should have stayed with Pidda Powell innit?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1107290/Revolt-Robbed-right-buy-traditional-light-bulbs-millions-clearing-shelves-supplies.html

Reporter BETH HALE on the great bulb hunt: 'Yes I found some... but it wasn't light work'

So when is print journalism finally going up the spout? I can't fuckin' wait.

Thanks for that, Ledge. FYTP.

sorry mate :(

Wtf is there to love about a lightbulb? Edison loyalists far more numerous than we were led to believe?

Ach, sorry for over-reacting, Ledge. It does piss me off massively that the last remnants of print journalism in the UK are probably going to be the fucking Mail and the Sun -- and I'd be the first to admit that we (ie print hacks in general) are paying a heavy price for decades upon decades of arrogance/overstaffing/intransigence etc.

But I'd also argue that the death of print journalism -- journalism led by "news", even if that news is invariably biased -- is simply going to lead to shit like this lightbulb nonsense becoming even more prevalent. It's not so much about the print media as it is about journalistic values; or, rather, having organisations with the resources to investigate stories properly and the desire to actually do so. Once that's gone, and all that's left are the rumps of former media empires, churning out shit like the above, and a few well-meaning bloggers wondering who to leech off now ... well, I really can't see who wins.

(Also: gah, driving up the Mail's hit count with our clickety-clicking ain't helping.)

How do we go about lobbying Brussels to ban the Daily Mail?

271 comments!

The Mail website is pretty awesome though. I spend more time on it than any other after The Guardian's. it's usually the site with the best pictures available online, scattered large through the story. The sections work well, and have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages.

You're getting such a doing next time I'm in work ;)

have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages

Also: what the fuck for? Free extra-energy-burning lightbulbs? The miserable woman's guide to a thinner, bitchier 2009? 10 things you never knew about house prices?

Have a look at the celebrity section. So much to read!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/index.html

Changing my display name to "beloved lightbulb".

xp
read

Actually, look at this sad Richard O'Sullivan story for an example. All those juicy Femail stories boxed down the right!

http://www.adozensteps.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/lightbulb.jpg

The Mail website is pretty awesome though. I spend more time on it than any other after The Guardian's. it's usually the site with the best pictures available online, scattered large through the story. The sections work well, and have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages.

― Alba, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:06 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism.

Oops - I linked to the wrong story.

Here's the Richard O'Sullivan one

Actor gets old. Let's take a close look at his wrinkly old face. Wot a loser!

But yeah, that was the first one I clicked on as well...

http://blogs.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/ianwylie/2007/04/emmerdale_paula_wilcox.html

balance.

All those juicy Femail stories boxed down the right!

Royal! Man has shave.
Nostalgia! Man grows older; looks different.
Diet! Ex-EastEnder has new publicist.
Tits! Also with Big Brother link (This is good, keep it up - Ed)
Stating the fucking obvious! Man with cancer "not exactly doing a song and dance about it"
Baby! Man and woman have child.
Beckhams! Man and woman still exist.
Rooneys! Man and woman who had more money than you still have more money than you.

You know, I don't think I've felt this depressed in my life. I'm off to devote my life to charity.

I'm off to devote my life to charity

Still working for the Herald then?

I'm off to devote my life to charity

And watching Celebrity Big Brother ...

Richard O'Sullivan is only 64! It's hardly that old.

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism

Uh...

in the print meeja

or just newspaper biz

the mail print a story about richard o'sullivan's decay every year, i am sure about it

I LIVE HERE IN THE UNITED STATES. I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT THE CLOSING CREDITS OF THREE'S COMPANY WHERE IT SAYS "BASED ON MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE". SO I DECIDED TO LOOK IT UP ON THE COMPUTOR NOT ONLY THAT I PURCHASED ALL THE EPISODES TO MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE. THE SHOW IS REALLY FUNNY AND EVEN WATCHING IT OVER AND OVER I NEVER STOP LAUGHING. FOR A FUNNY SHOW LIKE MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE, I THINK THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE RAN A COUPLE OF MORE YEARS BACK THEN. THE SHOW MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE ENDED TOO SOON FOR ME.

Posted by: CARLOS RIOS | July 13, 2008 06:45 PM

Quite right. I wonder if Mr Rios had Richard O'Sullivan Google Alerts set up.

"alert: Richard O'Sullivan looks five minutes older than he did five minutes ago"

I thought he was top class in "Dick Turpin" BTW...

<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1109722/Men-dont-curvy-women-attractive-father-children-autism.html";>Men who don't find curvy women attractive 'could father children with autism'</a>

o_0

or whatever the ht stupid ml is

Umm. As far as the reporting of such things goes, that ain't bad. No, it doesn't explain how the experiment was controlled, whether the findings were statistically significant, etc -- but when was the last time you saw a newspaper article that did? I fear your problems might well be with the nature of the research than with the Mail's reporting of it, Lex. Me: I'm going to reserve judgement until such time as I've read the article in the JADD (which I might actually do -- it's an area of vague interest to me, that. I could even try to work it into an essay I've written but not yet handed in, but ... no.)

i haven't read the story, it was the headline which caught my eye and made it go o_0

it seems like...not even the worst kind of health-related fearmongering, because it's too out-there for that

In the sidebar: "End of the hourglass: Career women usher in a straighter female form. The classic hourglass figure made famous by Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe appears to have had its day."

(I mean: as a hack by trade and psychology student by choice, I've just spent a whole day ploughing through research articles and the one thing I can say is that even a 20-page report can miss out salient facts. So although there are myriad holes in that Mail piece, in terms of crunching down a piece of research into a couple of hundred non-academic words, it's pretty fucking good. If it turns out to be misrepresenting the study completely, of course, I shall stand corrected.)

xpost

it seems like...not even the worst kind of health-related fearmongering, because it's too out-there for that

Dude, read the fucking article then. It is based on a piece of potentially valid research.

Researchers showed 100 men with autistic children pictures of curvy women, women with athletic frames and more rounded women and found that they do not have a preference on which figure they find more attractive.

The new research from the University of Bath suggests that fathers of autistic children do not share the preference of men across the world for the curvier woman.

this really does seem quite o_O tho

So headline should read:

Men who prefer non-curvy women might be fathers to autistic children.

"My son has autism, I'm afraid I cannot look at curves with pleasure anymore"

this really does seem quite o_O tho

Yes, welcome to experimental psychology.

Men who prefer non-curvy women might be fathers to autistic children

Hah, no: they showed no preference for any figure. "Men who don't conform to arguable global norm for what heterosexual males find attractive" is a bit unwieldy for a headline, though.

What's there isn't an elegant headline, either, I agree. I can see why they chose it, though.

AutiDads love Posh More.

there. Fixed.

Taking it further...

Dads of autistic children do not want more kids, so are attracted to females that look less childbearing types...?

Couldn't the headline have just as easily read "Men who don't find athletic women attractive could father children with autism?"

p.s. I have neither read the article nor the supporting materials.

I mean, why pick on curvy women when the men didn;t state a preference? That's typical DM o_O surely?

Couldn't the headline have just as easily read "Men who don't find athletic women attractive could father children with autism?"

It could, but the point is that there's cross-cultural support for the curvy stereotype, based on the "ideal" waist-hip ratio of 0.7 (Singh, 1993, I think), so there is a reason for mentioning curves. As you'd know if you'd read the piece (gah, I can't believe I'm sticking up for the Mail).

I mean, why pick on curvy women when the men didn;t state a preference? That's typical DM o_O surely?

Not really, no. For the love of all that is decent, read the piece before you start posting, dudes.

100 men seems like a very small sample size. I'm a bit more worried about the oestrogen/health stuff and this idea the writer seems to have about autism being similar to brain damage and something that crops up randomly when parents have bad health or put bad things into their kids bodies, it's the same logic they use when they reckon autism is caused by MMR and mercury, and that stuff was all bollocks.

xpost

Ok, read it now.

Dr Mark Brosnan and Dr Ian Walker from the university's Department of Psychology found that as a group the fathers of autistic children didn't all go for the same figure as their most attractive choice.

Hmmm. I really think we may to read the whole thing. It doesn't seem to be quite as clear cut as the DM is making it.

OH REALLY, you say.

http://i44.tinypic.com/jfev6u.jpg

100 men seems like a very small sample size

It's probably (sadly?) about average for such a study.

this idea the writer seems to have about autism being similar to brain damage

Plenty of studies link autism to brain "damage" of some kind; hellfire, one of the most convincing new theories on unipolar depression suggests that's actually linked in some way to a structurally abnormal brain. Plenty of studies link it to all sorts of things. That's the point: there isn't a pathology of autism yet. This is why research exists.

something that crops up randomly when parents have bad health or put bad things into their kids bodies

What evidence are you using for this, anyway? Can you quote the actual text that states this, or are you basing this reading on your own assumptions about how the Daily Mail often presents such stories? (Which, I'll admit, are usually fucking shocking.)

It doesn't seem to be quite as clear cut as the DM is making it

Well, of course it isn't -- this is a very short newspaper article, while (I'd hope!) that what Brosnan and Walker are doing is a tightly controlled experiment. My point, though, is that going "TUT DAILY MAIL HEADLINES WHATEVER NEXT" without actually reading the piece isn't constructive.

Although why I'm wasting time defending the Daily Mail, I really don't know.

one of the most convincing new theories on unipolar depression suggests that's actually linked in some way to a structurally abnormal brain

Actually, I wish I'd not written that because it'll be misconstrued, and I'm falling into my own trap of trying to explain something staggeringly complex using very few words. My fundamental point still stands, though: autism could well be linked (NB: correlation, not causality!) to structural "defects" in the brain.

My. I went off and made some soup there (very nice, since you ask: fennel and potato with lemon, and a gremolata topping) and expected to come back to a minor clusterfuck. Anyway, I should be toiling over an essay, but because I am the KING OF PROCRASTINATION ...

Autism could well be linked (NB: correlation, not causality!) to structural "defects" in the brain

... a little light reading on that subject for anyone who's interested, in no particular order.

Carper, R A Carper and Courchesne, E (2000). Inverse correlation between frontal lobe and cerebellum sizes in children with autism. Brain, 123 (4), 836-844. (Various other Courchesne papers consider a similar hypothesis.)

Dawson G, Webb SJ, Wijsman E, Schellenberg G, Estes A, Munson J, Faja S (2005). Neurocognitive and electrophysiological evidence of altered face processing in parents of children with autism: implications for a model of abnormal development of social brain circuitry in autism. Dev Psychopathol, 17, 679–697.

Wicker, B (2008). New Insights from Neuroimaging into the Emotional Brain in Autism. In E McGregor, M Núñez, K Cebula and J Carlos Gómez (Eds). Autism: An Integrated View from Neurocognitive, Clinical and Intervention Research. Malden, Mass; Oxford: Blackwell. (Actually: if you want to criticise the Brosnan and Walker study for being "quite o_O", I'd suggest you read that entire book first.)

Sparks, B F, and a fucking shitload of others (2002). Brain structural abnormalities in young children with autism spectrum disorder. Neurology, 59, 184-192.

Haas, R, and, again, more others than I can be arsed rearranging into author/initial format (1996). Neurologic abnormalities in infantile autism. Journal of Child Neurology, 11 (2), 84-92.

Now, shall we look at some studies considering autism and genetic predisposition/hormonal influences? Is that a resounding "no, shut the fuck up, Grimly?" Suits me fine.

Has he gone?

OK, back to the Mail and it's crazy URLs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1109882/Man-created-Barbie-Ken-dolls-kinky-swinger-manic-need-sexual-gratification.html

‘When Jack talked about creating Barbie it was like listening to somebody talk about a sexual episode, almost like listening to a sexual pervert,’ Ryan’s friend, Stephen Gnass told the author.

Almost.

Quite, em, compulsive level of detail there, grimly. I prefer my scaremongering lower on facts, higher on sheer panic, please. Here's Warning over 'third-hand smoke'. Not from the Mail, but it might as well be

Has he gone?

I AM BACK. Actually, no, I'm still looking for innovative new ways to not start writing. Drinking BEER has helped. Shit.

As always, the URL is WAY more interesting than the story, which is desperately dull. Filling in the blanks myself, I was hoping for something like: "Man created Barbie and Ken dolls to amuse friends at kinky swinger parties for manic depressives in need of plastic toys to achieve sexual gratification". Which would have been so much better.

I really want to know if those are being generated automatically or not. I shall endeavour to find out.

Quite, em, compulsive level of detail there, grimly

Heheheh. I think it's served its purpose.

Back on the light bulb tip, it's quite funny being reminded in the Guardian that twelve months ago, the Daily Mail were giving away free energy-saving bulbs and encouraging people to change.

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism

A bitter, disillusioned sub writes: while knocking a story into shape last night, I needed to check when a particular dude was knighted, and chanced upon a relevant article from the Mail. Said article spelled said dude's name two different ways in the space of 100 words ...

... neither of which was actually correct.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1129978/How-faceless-amoral-world-cyberspace-created-deeply-disturbing--generation-SEX.html

I would srsly buy a drink - maybe two - for whoever came up w/ the idea of having the URLs read like this

that mother & daughter pic is quite something

How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

Marcello?

It's 1954 in my house!

- mrs B, cleveland, usa, 28/1/2009 3:15 Click to rate Rating 27

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/01/28/article-1130015-0337DB90000005DC-374_468x532.jpg
England coach Fabio Capello checks out a new kind of strip on Italian TV

who's that being Obamafied in the background?

Looks like Gianlucca Vialli to me.

Remember that Hilaire Belloc cautionary tale - Matilda told such dreadful lies, it made one gasp and stretch one’s eyes? I used to love it as a child when telling lies was one of the naughtiest things you could do: Matilda ended up getting burned to death.

Good of the Daily Mail to include a clip from Skins, despite it not being mentioned anywhere in the article, for anyone wondering what 'teenage promiscuity' might look like, without having to search for it online themselves.

12-year-olds today have seen raunchier stuff on the internet today than most 40-year-olds have seen in their entire lives.

Chew on that for awhile. Your 12-year-old has seen "Two Girls, One Cup" - and that ain't getting erased.

Chew on 2G1C for a while

Pretty sure our boy hasn't seen 2 Girls, 1 Cup. He thought the posters for Sex Drive were too rude to be on the side of a bus.

Prudle Vague Jr. more like

Shameful Lawless Internet is full of raunchy XXX rated child-endangering pictures like these: (pic) (pic) (pic) (pic) (pic) (pic)

First 12 comments all from the US there.

If morality is subjective then why not live it up? If God is dead all things are lawful. If there is no God why not let sex be your god and use as many other humans as possible to fulfill ones personal pleasures. Darwin taught us the survival of the fittest right?

Workplace harrassment: 12 women's sizzling hot tales!

too shit; didn't read

You were right not to do so.
DM comments always full of Americans and ex-pats.

It turns out that it was the Walkman that has broken Britain, according to not-at-all-crazy AN Wilson.

Exposing your ear drums to badly mixed rock music

Scik Mouthy?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1183011/AMANDA-PLATELL-Insults-betray-bigotry-gay-zealots.html

I really don't want to look at the comments section there, but it's so tempting. Can someone confirm that it's as bad as you'd imagine? (Poor little girl, staring wistfully into the distance, wishing for a real mummy and daddy.)

The gay rights lobby should remember that not everyone who opposes gay adoption is a narrow-minded redneck

Pictures or it didn't happen

adam and eve not adam and steve

The plugs that go into the ears are a wonderful source of bacteria so unless they are sterilised before each use they are a germ playground.

I really don't want to look at the comments section there, but it's so tempting. Can someone confirm that it's as bad as you'd imagine? (

First comment.

don't know the research and I am not homophobic but it is only common sense that tells me children must surely have a better chance in life with a married heterosexual couple and that is who they should be put with.

- Expat Andi, Dubai UAE,

http://blogs.theage.com.au/lifestyle/trashtalk//archives/_peter_andre_jordan_wedding.jpg

A heterosexual couple yesterday.

Hang on, this bunch would have been a better example...
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/shanfamilyDM1403_468x325.jpg

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_02/MccannsPA_468x293.jpg

don't know the research and I am not homophobic but it is only common sense that tells me children must surely have a better chance in life with a married heterosexual couple and that is who they should be put with.

- Expat Andi, Dubai UAE,

That's got to be a full house on DM reader bingo.

Nah, doesn't mention house prices or Gordon Brown. Still, not far off.

BTW, this line in the Wislon piece cracked me up:

By the time they are 35, this generation will have experienced serious hearing loss. Of that, medical research is in no doubt whatsoever

Such meaningless nonsense, on so many levels. You've almost got to admire it.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/shanfamilyDM1403_468x325.jpg

wow the Manics really let themselves go

"libraries bring us power"

Much as AN Wilson lurches inevitably into egregious excess and shrieking hysteria, the following, early, and crucially understated, paragraph is OTM:

For those of us who liked getting on a bus or a train and overhearing, or even taking part in, conversations, there is something a bit bleak about the dozens of private solitudes which nowadays clamber aboard.

...so much so, that my entry into the ILX poetry competition is basically about this very trend.

every time i'm on public transport and have to talk to a stranger it's inevitably a drug addict or someone just out of jail who wants me to give them a pound and has some sob story about having to go somewhere to beat up their father/girlfriend/big brother or whatever so i say bring on more people minding their own fucking business.

*lazy scotland zing*

One of my friends once overheard a murder being planned on a bus and phoned the police when he got off. The guys were going up to an acquaintances flat to stab him and rob his house.

he told them where they were getting off and what they looked like, but he never found out what happened.

Yikes. And who is that stupid to say what they're doing out loud on a bus!?

Scottish drug addicts.

i think danny boyle should turn that scenario into a movie, what fun we could all have

Prince Philip climbs over a short fence.

Prince Philip re-inacting a scene from Animal House
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/05/15/article-1182971-04F54F02000005DC-637_468x356.jpg

reEnacting - d'oh...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1200037/Benefits-cheat-claimed-3-500-look-like-DEVIL.html

Words fail me.

The divorced father-of-two

it's one of the strengths of the mail that they *always* get all these details. should really have asked what his kids think of the changes though.

the mail's gallery of "abbey road"-inspired record covers includes "split with methadone abortion clinic" by screaming afterbirth. wonder if paul dacre is a fan.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1203117/The-Abbey-Habit-How-Beatles-famous-album-cover-inspired-dozens-imitations.html

Too bad that guy can't go out at night, cos there's no way you'd want to leave the house in daylight looking like that.

what a shoddy piece of work... mispellings abound, and several sleeves are repeated.

Oops, my comment was directed at Matt's story, didn't see it was 2 weeks old.

The Independent ran an identical Abbey Road feature 4 days ago: Abbey Road: 40 Years - 40 Imitations

Haven't checked properly, but I think they are basically all the same albums, but just in a different order.

Still agawp at the lucifer bloke though.

I'm happy for people to embezzle welfare money if they are going to use it for crazy shit like that.

Marc Riley's lost his mind!

Is he standing as a Labour candidate at the next election?

- Gary, Marbella, 16/7/2009 12:03

BAM

Their record label said it wouldn't sell because it did not feature the names of the band or the LP.

Yes, I can imagine EMI thinking that the new Beatles album might not sell...

"It doesn't say Ringo Starr on it, it won't sell"

It's true though that there's no way anyone would have recognised a photo of them in the 60s. They were quite low profile I think.

Also 'Gary, Marbella' is too perfect for a DM reader.

To be fair, it was John Kosh who said about "EMI said it won't sell", as stated in the Telegraph.

To be blunt, clearly the Daily Mail nicked the whole article, photos and all.

I didn't know Dacre was so into recycling!

In what universe is this a front page story, even in batshit Paul Dacreland?

eh who doesn't separate that stuff anyway?

Loads of people?

food waste? tbh once i take out the recyclable stuff that's all i have left.

I don't understand why they're getting quite so 'URRGHH SLOP BUCKETS' about this. Food waste is currently collected with the rest of your rubbish once a week. Under the proposed system, food waste will still be collected once a week, but just separated out from the rest of your waste. What's the difference?

Not sure which is funniest - the picture of the Victorian slop bucket or the nightmare vision of maggots and rats overrunning the nation's kitchens.

euroc-rats, surely

Yeah, that Victorian illustration is just someone emptying the laundry bucket, isn't it? Can't see it being appropriate unless they used to use rotting meat instead of fabric conditioner.

I can imagine Dacre having to be forcibly restrained from including an image of a 1665 plague-cart.

Well, I guess the slop bucket is what you have to put the food in during the week? Presumably this will be covered, perhaps with some kind of "lid", to keep the insects and rodents out.

I have one in my kitchen with just such an ingenious "lid" contraption. No maggots, flies or rats in evidence yet.

As long as it has an airtight lid it shouldn't be a problem.

gonna take millennia for this type of technology to become available cheaply enough to have in every home

Maybe when it does become inexpensive we could all throw parties...

...parties where we can discuss and maybe even purchase this awesome future tech.

jeez what planet you even on? that's crazy talk.

Is the Not In My Back Yard or Not Under My Kitchen Sink?

Mr Dacre and the Rats of Nimby

In what universe is this a front page story, even in batshit Paul Dacreland?

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 12:13 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

600+ comments, though. anyone who's worked on a local newspaper knows bin collection is the only public service people really care about.

The same rotten entity that tries to enforce these unworkable bully boy policies are the same ones who know all about polluting our skies and air with CHEMTRAILS. Just look above your head every morning on the way to work.

I wonder whether this comment will get published!!

- Terry, London, UK, 15/9/2009 13:03

"They DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH GUNS to rule us. End of."

Steady on, Robert from Worcester. It's just a food recycling bin.

Hahahaha

Robert from Worcester gonna be all holed up in his cabin Charles Bronson-style executing hundreds of plastic bin-wielding council employees.

"I wonder if the Daily Mail will publish my comment against the government, based as it is on ignorance and mistrust" - Terry from Laahndon...

xp "I don't like bin-days"

Robert from Worcester: "Hey, Johnson. Recycle this."
Robert from Worcester: [detonates bin]

Robert from Worcester, walking away as backdrop explodes with huge loss of bureaucrat life:

"Takin out the trash"

Hillary Benn has just waded into the comments section, good luck there feller.

darraghmac just made me cry with laughter

It's a point your paper has made on several occasions and I agree with you on this. Every year Britain sends 6.7 million tons of food to landfill, where it contributes to dangerous methane emissions.

says Hil.

just to clarify something- when this food waste goes into a special bin, where does it go to from there if not landfill? pigfood?

Hmm, I pressed the green arrow on Hillary Benn's comment, now I see it's back to zero.

Anyone want to press some green arrows there? Just for the hell of it?

Actually, just realised I pressed the wrong one, about the dogs who woof down food.

As opposed to chickens, who just cluck it down, right?

cats' cheeeow down

just to clarify something- when this food waste goes into a special bin, where does it go to from there if not landfill? pigfood?

It basically gets composted. Both the end product and the heat the process generates can be re-used, along with any waste gas.

well that's highly commendable.

lol waste gas pfft

it's from all the baked beans...

My sister looked out of her window a couple of weeks ago, and there marching across the lawn was a sea of maggots from her and her neighbours dustbins.
My sister, niece and the neighbours were up until midnight putting salt down and bleaching the bins in the half-light from various front rooms.
Benn & co will have us slopping out out potty's next rather than use a flush toilet.

- Eileen, Herts England, 15/9/2009 14:45

bleaching the bins in the half-light

wb yeats on dis ting

sir,

may i, bleaching my bins by candlelight, express my full support for the government?

lol
- harry fredericks, bromley, England., 15/9/2009 14:31

green arrowed this guy

From last night's Wigan Evening Post:

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/5820/5530394.png

Nearly 800 comments now - it's like lightbulbs all over again.

Our local council, Cotswold, introduced exactly this awful scheme a year ago.

That would be a tory council then. Bloody Cameron and his eco-crazy goons.

Wheelie bins first deployed twenty years ago by a Conservative government.

wheelie?

Fantastic front page headline to-day (and url to go with it)

Dementia may have been caused by the Second World War, says scientist

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1213703/Dementia-caused-Second-World-War-claims-scientist.html

(xpost) Chorlton in Cheshire. They even made a stop motion animated cartoon about it...

stress was invented by the nazis. hmm.

French citizens forcibly expelled from Algeria in the 1950s

Bloody immigrants, leaving their own country in search of benefits.

'go back to where you came from' with a twist.

This is cracking me up. It's like they take it as a personal challenge to get hysterically angry about absolutely anything.

I have no idea what the big deal with wheelie bins is, we've had them for as long as I can remember (probably, hey, 20 years) and don't know what better thing everyone is so angry about the loss of. Am I too working class to have experienced the wonders of amazing pneumatic tube systems or something.

Before wheelie bins we kept rubbish in black plastic bags piled up in the bin cupboard outside, which was far more likely to atract maggots/flies/rats. So I too have no idea WTF these people are complaining about.

These people had steel dustbins with steel lids that rats didn't chew through. It was a golden age of refuse collection, you could leave your bin open and no-one stole your identity.

fouryourkshiremen.jpg

yourkshire jesus christ

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/4654/31200272.jpg

c'mon, that's actually a fair question

'mothers paid to have children they barely even know'

i mean, it's the only reason i ever get laid, but on the other hand, does it infere with the market?

"mothers paid by the state to have babies with men they barely know" ... wait what?

mothers paid to have children they barely even know'

eh, that's not what i meant to type, but it is a very daily mail sentiment so i stand by it.

i think it refers to lone parent allowance merdeyeux

You know, that office with barely known men in it, that want to father kids.

And that other office full of women that want some money?

It's all filmed for Virgin1 docs, innit?

omg <3 greatest headline ever. i even got my own machete the other day!

i tellya, as a public worker that's the gig we're all going for. i've passed over three promotions just to keep on the list for the fathering office.

Machete by the door must be a bit off-putting tbh

hardly notice after taking all the drugs on the table

cutting lines with a machete is no picnic

especially with govt sponsored backache

Wow, Harriet really HAS some ANGER. Other genius articles by her include:

Why does the NHS hate the elderly so much?

Why HAS the state got it in for foster parents?

I've seen how our education system betrays children - it's enough to make you weep

and...er...

Ladies, thank heaven for younger men

freudian typo in this mail piece about paedos: "As a father, I know it's important not to oversex-state the danger our girls are in."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215189/How-safe-daughter-Paedophiles-using-web-trap-girls-middle-class-married-And-police-struggling-cope-.html

Many will have been raped and, in a few tragic cases, the victim may even have been killed. That's the reality of modern paedophilia.

Not like paedophilia in the good old days eh?

I was going to start quoting from the comments but I wouldn't know where to start/stop.

oh fuck's sake

Overtly gay Tory blogger Iain Dale has reached the final stage of parliamentary selection for Bracknell, telling PinkNews: 'I hope any PinkNews readers who live in Bracknell will come to the open primary on October 17 to select their new candidate.

You don't even have to be a Conservative to attend.'

Isn't it charming how homosexuals rally like-minded chaps to their cause?

Isn't it charming how Tories rally like-minded chaps to their cause?

Isn't it charming how the anti-nazi league / the BNP / the Womens Institute / Geir rally like-minded chaps to their cause?

Isn't it charming how ILXors rally like-minded challops to their cause?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/10/04/article-0-06A4D656000005DC-508_468x581.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1218166/LIZ-JONES-FASHION-THERAPY-Does-trend-Birds-nest-hair-work-real-woman.html

gyaaaaaaa-

i definitely saw her in goodfellas

I definitely saw her in Birds of a Feather.

I definitely saw her in fuck-me shoes.

i think i saw her in tescos

Now she's a big success I want to meet her again.

Never mind the Faily Mail, I think I just saw her in the mirror...

Saw this ...How Kevin McGee's drug addiction and jealousy destroyed marriage to Matt Lucas and cost him his life...and dreaded reading the comments and sure there were loads of nasty crap but the well done DM trollers for getting the DM to change "husband" to ex-husband (i.e. without the scare quotes) and for well and truly trouncing the crazies in the Best Rated stakes.

Wait - they haven't changed it later on. Well, tiny steps.

It shows one good thing, throwing money at a problem is not always good policy. The shame is Loony-Labour thinks that's all it takes.

- mike, London, 7/10/2009 15:00

lol crowbar is hueg

?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218880/One-gay-man-lesbians-legged-cat-poisoned-curry-plot.html?ITO=1490

The headline was great, you couldn't make this up, LOL!!!!

All the "outraged" namby-pambies complaining about it ought to take some valium and return to their daytime TV programs.

- John, London, EUSSR, 08/10/2009 10:28

One-gay-man-lesbians-legged-cat-poisoned-curry-plot.html?

A gay man turns a cat's legs into lesbians using poisoned curry?

i read an article a while back in the mail by some female columnist about how women dont really have sex for enjoyment but for other reasons which i quite enjoyed.

her SO must have been delighted with that.

for other reasons which i quite enjoyed.

What were those reasons you enjoyed?

itchy fanjita

just the idea that my overwhelming wealth and inability to do chores is obv a surefire way to get laid.

http://www.somersetcountygazette.co.uk/news/4673716.Under_fire_columnist_inspires_carnival_entrants/

zing

“I had thought that if I employed enough local people, got enough local students jobs and internships, spent £350 on a cashmere blanket in a Dulverton gift shop for my sister’s Christmas present, bought all my beauty products and candles in there too, that people would like me and accept me.”

http://current.com/1uk1i4c

You have to stick with that video for the bonkers paintings of Paul Dacre.

Liz Jones is responsible for many of the MMR scare stories in the Mail in recent years, so the more often she is pursued by shotgun wielding locals across Exmoor the better as far as I'm concerned.

'Celebrity journalism is nonsense' – tabloids duped in fake stories hoax

The Daily Mail was the only newspaper that was approached by the filmmakers but did not print any of their fabrications.

Some of Fleet Street's top newsrooms ‑ including those of the Sun, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and Daily Express

Story falls down about here

Their next project is about bears. In woods.

Some of Fleet Street's top newsrooms ‑ including and also those of the Sun, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and Daily Express

fixed

(xpost) I bet those bears are illigal migrants...

xps
Somerset folk pissed off with portrayal as backward yokels fire shotgun at letterbox in revenge.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1220756/Why-natural-Stephen-Gatelys-death.html

what the hell is going on in the comments?!

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

:D

Maybe everyone's trolling constantly these days, which is why the BBC ends up clogged with righties, and the DM ends up with lots of egalitarians.

He dun a cannabis, and his partner went into another room with another man = he is a hedonistic gay man asking to die..

Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one reader comment:

What tv bigwigs fail to understand is that Countdown stood for a GB that is fast disappearing. 27 years ago, viewers were folk who still had memories of street parties and Silver Jubilees, yet to go through 2 recessions and thought that 4 channels was choice enough. The slightly guilty pleasure of an afternoon was cosy and comforting, it meant fireside, a good cup of tea and a few digestives. The need to replace original host Richard Whitely, was obvious, understood in the nation's collective psyche. But as a nation of traditionalists, woe betide the tv execs who try to mess with the format beyond that! Vorderman was the last connection viewers had with a programme that existed meritoriously as nation's brain workout, rather than a ubiquitous "big money" game show. Fans of this programme never asked for Countdown to be 'sexed up' or modernised. And while moving with the times can be seen as admirable, sometimes hanging onto the old values is the conundrum they should be working out.

- J Bee, NW England, 16/10/2009 4:16

Nice job tying it in with the death of Matt Lucas' partner too - doubling up the offensiveness. That's good even by Shakey standards.

Guys tomorrow I am buying the Daily Mail. I may never be able to look my lefty father in the eye again.

I might even be bothered to complain about that Moir piece (of crap). PCC code of practise...

5. Intrusion into grief or shock
i) In cases involving personal grief or shock, enquiries and approaches must be made with sympathy and discretion and publication handled sensitively. This should not restrict the right to report legal proceedings, such as inquests.

PCC won't listen unless you're a subject or related to a subject of the story.

Call up and tell them you're Stephen Gateley.

That Gateley piece is appalling, poisonous conjecture.

There's a facebook campaign to complain to all the advertisers that ran beside it, in print and online. That's a good idea.

PCC won't listen unless you're a subject or related to a subject of the story.

Oh yeah, the dead can't sue and all that...

http://notsowunderbar.blogspot.com/2009/10/why-there-is-nothing-natural-about-jan.html

"Some of my best friends are Jan Moir’s weird face"

PCC won't listen unless you're a subject or related to a subject of the story.

Yeah, I figured they would have thought of something like that. They've changed the headline of the article I notice.

I need to complain to someone.

http://twitter.com/stephenfry/status/4913531605

I gather a repulsive nobody writing in a paper no one of any decency would be seen dead with has written something loathesome and inhumane.

Stephen Fry otm

There's a facebook campaign to complain to all the advertisers that ran beside it, in print and online. That's a good idea.

― stet, Friday, 16 October 2009 13:41 (23 minutes ago) Bookmark

Looks like all the ads have gone!

http://www.dailyquail.org/2009/10/jan-moir-why-theres-nothing-natural.html

^^^^ AMAZING

THey just reprinted the article, haven't they?

Kevin McGee, the former husband "of" Little Britain star Matt Lucas

This has made me think about whether I really want The Graduate or not now. I mean fuck these guys, even if they are giving away great films I haven't seen yet.

"The Motorcycle Diaries" instead?

which is shown regularly on Film 4 ..

the graduate was on itv this very week

so they are cunts about that one dudes death huh?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/16/stephen-gately-jan-moir

Yep, nailed concisely there.

Mr Fry's twitter now has a reply condemning the Daily Mail from celebrated liberal right-thinker... Chris Moyles?!
http://twitter.com/CHRISDJMOYLES/status/4916617692

aka, game recognise game

Jan Moir responds - makes things worse.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/oct/16/jan-moir-stephen-gately-response

"In what is clearly a heavily orchestrated internet campaign I think it is mischievous in the extreme to suggest that my article has homophobic and bigoted undertones."

Undertones? No.

Also I just wanted to say that civil marriages can be problematic because people in them can DIE. Of being gay.

It's good to save articles like this to compare and contrast with the Daily Mail's upcoming "Evil Sick Bigots Who Celebrate the Death of Our Greatest Ever Prime Minister" piece.

Looking forward to a full scale "everyone's picking on me" whine in tomorrows Mail.

Fiver says it's "J'Accuse the Gay Mafia"

There'll be agendas and possibly even political correctness. Bonus marks if cancer and/or health and safety make appearances.

first time i've seen this:

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

IS THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT CHEATING MIDDLE BRITAIN?

ARE ASYLUM SEEKERS GIVING HOUSE PRICES CANCER?

COULD THE BBC SCROUNGE OFF YOUR DAUGHTERS?

ARE GYPSIES GIVING YOUR PENSION DIABETES?

HAVE GYPSIES KILLED YOU?

^^^ yuo can tell these are made up because they actually make some kind of sense, unlike real DM articles...

COULD ASYLUM SEEKERS GIVE COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY DIABETES?

COULD THE UNEMPLOYED HAVE SEX WITH DRIVERS?

HAVE THE POLES STOLEN FROM CLIFF RICHARD?

WILL RIP-OFF BRITAIN GIVE MIDDLE BRITAIN DIABETES?

So, if there's nothing homophobic about this, it's gonna be a bummer to turn up at work on Monday morning and find half of the under 30s we work with dead, innit?

WILL CHAVS INFECT THE CHURCH WITH AIDS?

ARE GAYS TURNING YOUR MORTGAGE GAY?

COULD YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL RUIN HARD WORKING FAMILIES?

was my best one!

IS THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH HAVING SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?

I love the comments in the JavaScript that generates the headlines:

new Noun("russell brand",3,1),     // FIXME: Delete when latest moral panic is over

haha the funniest results from this are ones that end in 'swans"

WILL JACQUI SMITH HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

FFS I hope not...

(Went w/ the Grauniad instead. Dustin Hoffman can wait.)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/if_god_had_wanted_me_to_be

HAS RUSSELL BRAND IMPREGNATED BRITAIN'S SWANS?

I believe the answer is 'probably'.

COULD ALISTAIR DARLING INFECT PENSIONERS WITH AIDS?

COULD THE GERMANS MAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS IMPOTENT?

COULD LESBIANS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR PETS?

HAVE HOODIES TURNED THE QUEEN GAY?

HAVE THE POLES DESTROYED CLIFF RICHARD?

That one can't be pinned on the Poles.

Depends what you mean by poles.

lol...poles

polls

Okay, assuming for a moment you've never seen a Daily Mail headline generator before - can't we talk about the succesful internet campaign that has resulted in a bunch of advertisers pulling their money? Or that the cops are apparently looking into it under hatred laws? Or that at the very least this might be the end of her career (hopefully)?

i think the #dailymail debate is covered in as much depth as is necessary on twitter. not that this wasn't a repulsive article, but you have to be pretty wet behind the ears to think this is the daily mail going "too far" for the first time.

but yes, "successful internet campaign". finally notice is taken of white males aged 18-45. i'd hate to be the next guy stephen fry retweets criticism of on a friday afternoon.

ARE THE UNIONS DEFRAUDING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

Umm, I don't think it will be the end of the paper. She should get fired though.

i still find richard littlejohn way way way more offensive than jan moir could ever hope to be, and his particular brand of homophobia much worse and more insidious. wish people would go after him on a similar scale.

I don't think cops apparently looking into this under hatred laws is something to be pleased about at all:
(1) the article might be stupid, but it shouldn't be a crime; and
(2) I'd quite like the police to just do their job, rather than responding to orchestrated pressure. It's not a good thing just because for once the mob is on 'our' side.

If the police go after Moir, do they also get to go after anyone printing supportive comments on the Mail website? The whole article, starting with the incredibly WTF statement that healthy 33-year-old men don't just climb into their beds and don't wake up, and then suggesting that only gay men commit suicide over the break-up of their relationships (if indeed Kevin McGee's suicide was anything whatsoever, even tangentially-related, to do with his sexuality) is screamingly wrong and offensive to everyone with depression, undetected heart conditions or teh gayness, but what's worse is that it seems to be speaking for a number of people and not just for her trying to sell papers.

And, yes, The Mob should go after Littlejohn next. Am surprised he's still in a job after than "prostitutes deserve to get murdered" piece.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8314577.stm

The Press Complaints Commission says it will ask the Daily Mail to respond to complaints about a column it ran on the death of Boyzone singer Stephen Gately.

The PCC said it had received more than 21,000 complaints since its publication on 16 October - the most ever made about a single newspaper article.

enjoying the irony of this being a classic DM style witch hunt, tbh. except totally and utterly deserved.

Marks & Spencer asked the newspaper to move an advertisement which appeared alongside the online version of the article, stating that it "does not tolerate any form of discrimination".

I always love when an organ like the Daily Mail prints an article no more offensive than usual and is suddenly buried in outrage.

I find the cynical responses to the Twitter campaign baffling. So because a paper is reliably vile, when it prints a particularly unpleasant piece people should just shrug and ignore it? No - even if she was just unlucky enough to be a lightning rod for general disgust with the Mail, she deserved it and there's nothing wrong with right-wing hatemongers getting a taste of their own medicine from time to time. It's not as if private tut-tutting will ever get the Mail's attention.

DV my theory as to why this one got traction is because it wasn't couched in the sober, reasoned manner that the real classics of DM psychopathy usually are, i.e. "if one sits down and thinks about it, deportation procedures really are the only answer to our pressing problem of the lack of resources within britain"

Is Jimmy Carr the new Jonathan Ross?

1. Jimmy is a key, credible and genuine supporter of the Armed Forces - as evident by his visits and shows without publicity - and takes their welfare very seriously.
2. Out of an audience of 2,500 people only two people complained, and this level of complaint is not worthy of front page news.
3. We are in talks with Jimmy to go further afield to boost the morale of the Armed Forces which is further evidence of his commitment to them and the work they do.
4. A disappointing aspect from the Charity’s perspective is those who have sort to quote on the story. In my position I would strongly advise anyone from leaping on the Armed Forces bandwagon and also over sensitising the issue of injured servicemen and women who, in the main, do not see themselves as victims or charity cases but look to the future which includes a real ambition to return to the frontline - and compete in the Paralympics.

"Say what you like about the servicemen amputees from Iraq and Afghanistan, but we are going to have a fucking good Paralympics team in 2012"

I have a pretty low tolerance for Jimmy Carr, but as his jokes go, this one actually isn't too terrible.

Let's play spot the difference. The top image is a set of instructions that members of the Question Time audience were given before filming last Thursday. And below that is a version of it that appeared in the Daily Mail and on its website on Saturday. Have you noticed what's changed? Funnily enough, the Mail used its version to support its claim that the BBC was "stage managing" an onslaught against BNP leader Nick Griffin during the programme.

Date-rape drugs are largely an urban myth used as an excuse by women who booze themselves into a stupor, it has been claimed.

That's Daniel "lol she was wearing a short skirt too, the bitch was begging for it amirite" Martin, who clearly has something to hide when it comes to date rape drugs.

Wayne and Coleen Rooney are celebrating the birth of their first child.

The Manchester United and England star, 24, was at his wife’s side as she gave birth at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital early this afternoon.

The sex was so far unconfirmed.

Bdum Tish.

The Express is just utter, utter bullshit, isn't it? How the fuck do the people who write this trash manage to live with themselves? It's not like they're highly-paid, or anything?

Supermarket giant Asda has risked sparking a racial backlash in the place where the BNP won its first ever council, by closing its traditional fresh meat counter and replacing it with a halal only section.

The chain has decided to make the move at its large store on the Isle of Dogs, east London.

Within weeks, anyone wanting fresh pork chops or ham off the bone will have to go to the pre-packed meat section, with Muslim customers having a wider choice from the halal counter.

Asda insisted it was “responding to customer demand” and had done a deal with a local halal butcher to reflect the ethnic make up of the area’s population.

Yet figures show that while the borough of Tower Hamlets is almost half Muslim, the Isle of Dogs is about 80 per cent non-Bangladeshi.

Workers at the store said furious non-Muslim customers would not meat derived from cutting the throats of animals and letting them bleed to death.

Politicians were concerned last night that the move could reignite racial tension on the Isle of Dogs, where Derek Beackon won the BNP’s first council seat in 1993.

Gotta love this:

http://cdn.images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/comments/nocomments.gif

I suspect that that Express story is light on facts, and isn't to be taken seriously. But the whole issue of halal (and kosher, for that matter) meat is one that I am amazed has such a low profile. We have some of the best standards of animal welfare in the UK, but religions are able to bypass them at a stroke. There's no need to invent (or otherwise) stories about such meat being made "compulsory" - its mere existence is a major cause for concern.

are halal and kosher techniques inherently cruel? i assumed they were painless for the animal

The animals aren't stunned before they are stabbed in the neck with a knife.

"The UK Farm Animal Welfare Council says that the method by which Kosher and Halal meat is produced causes severe suffering to animals and it should be banned immediately. According to FAWC it can take up to two minutes for cattle to bleed to death, thus amounting to animal abuse."

They don't look very painless from the film footage I've seen of them. Neither does conventional slaughter though tbf.

It doesn't look pleasant, certainly, but the animals should be unconscious for the process. I believe the thrashing around is an automatic reflex.

Getting away from the point that changes at an Asda meat counter isn't all that likely to "reignite racial tension on the Isle of Dogs".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1226464/The-First-Ladette-How-Germaine-Greers-legacy-entire-generation-loose-knickered-lady-louts.html

^this fucking guy

Some might question whether this really matters, but would you trust a dentist who had chosen to go bald? Would you want your children treated by a doctor who had shaved his head?

Each dentist to display a sign:

"I have not gone bald voluntarily"

Strange, strange article. I mean I assume this must be a joke:

and at weekends some think nothing of lying a-bed until noon

Mustn't it?

think nothing of lying a-bed until noon

Oh, those foul rapscallions!

wtf is an armpit vest?

The move, of late, has been to have no hair at all and the men of Bog-Standard Britain seem to have taken their lead from the Mitchell brothers who swaggered into EastEnders, the BBC's main primetime soap opera, in 1990.

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01460/William-Hague_1460616c.jpg

... though Alan Clark complained that Hague had copped his hairstyle from Bruce Willis, not the Mitchell Brothers

Bang bang. That was Germaine's tactic. Wham bam bang.

Whan. Bosh bang. Bam whang ban wang.

You have to admit there is a haphazard logic to this theory about bald men...
http://queen-of-outer-space.com/wrb9.jpg

Strange, strange article. I mean I assume this must be a joke:

Yes, it reads like a parody to me, but it isn't o_O

Paaaaargh for the coarse.

I have had the misfortune to do some research for Quentin Letts wife, one of the rudest and most unpleasant women I have ever dealt with, if she's an example of the fragrant 1950's womanhood he's expousing give me Germaine Greer any day.
- Lucy, London, 10/11/2009 11:11

The comments section generally is far from positive, plus a few mentalists. Is the Mail just trolling its readers now?

We are the Daily Mail website's readers. You could say the same of the Guardian site.

*room turns ice cold*

I have had the misfortune to do some research for Quentin Letts wife, one of the rudest and most unpleasant women I have ever dealt with, if she's an example of the fragrant 1950's womanhood he's expousing give me Germaine Greer any day.

Well give her a break, she is married to an ugly misogynist snob after all

never give a sucker an even break

When the RMS Titanic sank in 1912, a large proportion of the female passengers survived, but 80 per cent of the men on board went down with the ship, doomed by chivalry. They had observed the code of 'women and children first' to the lifeboats.

Would that happen today?

Not only that, but to-day the third class passengers would probably demand a palce on the lifeboats as well! Outrageous!

This man is deranged. He's written a book called "People who buggered up Britain" (or something) in which he lays into various people and then complains about swearing and rudeness. Stupid fucking prick.

The 50 People Who Wrecked Britain. We did a poll...

Would not be surprised at arriving at a time when Ryanair emergency-lands, tries to enact oxygen mask/yellow slide surcharge.

I see - I presume it's the same as this?
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51uXWWwU4NL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU02_.jpg

So his own books are getting dumbed down?

Date-rape drugs are largely an urban myth used as an excuse by women who booze themselves into a stupor, it has been claimed.

― DavidM, Tuesday, 27 October 2009 18:26 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

this set me off like nothing else fwiw

Unfortunately he couldn't find a publisher for the sequel, "The 50 People Who Bought The 50 People Who Buggered-Up Britain".

And what's with the hyphen?!??!

As if that were possible xp.

uh, xxp

lol

Hey, Louis is back! Where you been?

de-accumulating sbs

Buggering-up Britain

would be honoured to make the list of a Lettlet one day

xp - oh right. Well, welcome back!

i devoted a lot of facebook wallspace to things gleaned from this thread, so my ghostly presence was around

There are occasions when you have to legitimately, unironically love the DM, and the caption for the top photo in this article is one of them.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1230142/Pregnant-mother-13-says-I-having-babies-I-twins.html

Sara Foss and Stephen Smith have enjoyed conjuring up wild and wacky names for their 13 children.
We've listed them, from oldest to youngest, and given Sara's reasons for their names.
Patrick – named after Sara's grandmother's surname of Patrick
Stephen – after his doting dad, Stephen
Malachai – after a character in the horror film, Children of the Corn
Peppermint – after Sara started craving mints during her fourth pregnancy
Echo – after a group of eco-campaigners who Stephen met during a job at work
Eli – another character in the 1984 film Children of the Corn
Rogue – a character in the film X-Men
Frodo – hobbit in Lord of the Rings
Morpheus – a character in film, The Matrix, staring Keanu Reeves
Artemis – book character, Artemis Fowl, an obnoxious teenage criminal
Blackbird – named after a gathering of blackbirds which flew onto Sara's lawn
Baudelaire – named after the Baudelaire orphans which featured in Lemony Snicket's film A Series of Unfortunate Events
Voorhees – named after serial killer, Jason Voorhees in the horror movie, Friday The 13th

LOL xp

and not xp

However best rated comment reminds me why I should never never read the comments.

This is a form of child abuse as her other young children can't all be receiving dedicated care from her.

She should be sterilized immediately.

If she had the money to support her large brood then she could have as many babies as she wants to but whilst everyone else is paying for them she should be stopped NOW.

- jo jo, Swansea, 23/11/2009 9:47

i love the way they got 3 children in and were like 'fuck it let's scar the bastards'

I think poor little Rogue got the worst deal.

I met someone who was seriously considering 'Rogan' as a first name for their son, middle name 'Josh'.

Think they settled on Sam Osa or something instead though.

Dan Sak.

Dopey Aza

Jill Frezi

Chik En Tik Aaaaaaaaaaaaah Me Sailor

More like Jacob Screek

I think there's an ancient British bylaw that states if you name your kid Voorhees you are henceforth allowed to do whatever the fuck you like

By all accounts he's a jolly good fellow.

And Keyser Söze all of us

xp stealing that for the xword thread

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232413/Children-legally-sold-sexually-explicit-DVDs-loophole-law.html

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/01/article-1232413-076D2BF7000005DC-276_468x219.jpg

There's going to be some pretty cheerful people working in metal labels' press depts today

poor Gaahl

they all sound great, but none of them actually feature murder so wtf daily mail?

um, "Strangled" ?

TOENAIL PULLING

Also available to any child - the Bible, Shakespeare, Dickens...

I can't believe they've mentioned the Bulgar/Child's Play 3 "link". It was bad enough making that crap up back then but to reference your own made-up crap about it is really...er..crap.

there has not been any toenail pulling in shakespeare

I bet someone in Titus Andronicus wanted to pull someone's toenail off though.

poor Gaahl

― a. cole, u thic (acoleuthic), Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:12 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol @ fake Gaahl comment underneath article

'Out, out vile toejam'

Last week, they were cleared of insulting a Muslim guest when high-profile ‘hate crime’ allegations were thrown out by a judge to public applause. But, faced with £400,000 of debt and the wreckage of a business they say has been all but destroyed by the controversy, there has been little celebration for Ben and Sharon – just bewilderment at the way they have been treated.

The experience has left them questioning their faith in the police, in the Crown Prosecution Service and in a British establishment that seems bent on protecting all manner of rights and sensitivities. Unless, that is, you are a church-going Christian.

It has done little to improve their confidence in the way their case was handled to learn that Detective Constable Tracy O’Hara, the officer who played a leading role in the prosecution for the unusual crime of religiously aggravated harassment and took charge of their interrogation, is a leading light in the Merseyside Police Gay And Lesbian Support Network.

homosexuals and muslims are well known to be in cahoots

Yeah, look at that 'mohammed guy

a British establishment that seems bent

yup.

I really don't understand the 'Free Speech' campaign banners that their supporters used. Why have those if they didn't actually say any of the things they were accused of saying?

Pls explain how this guy coming to uk to better himself and still speaking with a strong native accent after 32 years doesn't make him a disgusting savage taking all our jobs. i bet he still supports Holland an'all.

NickB - that was exactly my thought on seeing the news reports on this. I guess they had more sense than to take the same line themselves.

Nah, it's about time somebody stood up for the British public's right to harrass and intimidate.

I really don't understand the 'Free Speech' campaign banners

You reminded me why I took against the 'defendants' ...

With supporters like those, and so on,,

Daily Mail comments box is likely to go into meltdown over this one:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1235782/Family-man-fought-armed-thugs-took-family-hostage-jailed.html

^ Outed as West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band fan

It's a good spot.

daily mail comments all come from guardian readers, just like guardian comments all come from daily mail readers.

hard to really argue with trying to brain someone that was holding your family hostage tbh.

The point being "at what point do you stop kicking the hostage taker's head in?" ...

hard to really argue with trying to brain someone that was holding your family hostage tbh.

Catching him in the street after he's fled your house and your family is safe then going and getting a cricket bat, a metal pole and a hockey stick and beating his brains out isn't exactly the same thing.

yeah i specifically said 'brain' i mean let's get the pavement messy here people

Liz Jones learns what it's like to be homeless

that got the full treatment on the DM hate thread. tbh this thread should be locked.

Oops - sorry.

That really isn't parody? It read exactly like an Onion article.

where is the DM hate thread?

Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

This Liz Jones column, however, is so hilariously head-in-clouds insular bubbleworld that it belongs in the Love thread.

tbh this thread should be locked.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b379/Vietgrove/missbossy.jpg

it wasn't meant literally! 'twas a statement of lovelessness

I just knew Liz Jones would have a macbook:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/26/article-1238565-05B7D005000005DC-526_468x352.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1269288/STEPHEN-HAWKING-How-build-time-machine.html

The URL says it all. No mention of whether a wormhole would help immigrants get in or stop them.

Shame they're no longer accepting comments for this article, I was just going to post that this disgraceful freak should be sent back to the robot universe he came from. And maybe a bible quote about how THE LORD said thou shalt not travel in thyme.

How about travelling in parsley?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1278757/LIZ-JONES-To-4-100-answered-heart--thank-you.html

I won’t go into why I found myself unable to afford food, heating, petrol...When you have no money, people assume it’s because you’re ...profligate

Read your own columns recently, hen?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1278583/Young-people-drinking-neat-vodka-EYE-quick-buzz.html

Peer pressure: Even respected, intelligent students from normal, sensible backgrounds are vodka eyeballing

While medical experts say it is still a relatively new phenomenon, a quick glance at the internet reveals how rife it has become among young drinkers in Britain.

Speaking of a quick glance at the internet...
http://gawker.com/5540166/vodka-eyeballing-the-dumbest-trend-piece-ever

What the Mail have done is find one woman who damaged her eye while pouring vodka in it as a student stunt and convinced their readers that this is a sweeping trend

It would be easy, of course, to dismiss Melissa as nothing more than a silly 'ladette'. But it is hard to reconcile that stereotype with the young woman she is today, fresh out of university in London with a first-class English degree, the privately-educated daughter of financiers, and an aspiring writer.

o rite then

Because students don't ever do stupid things while drinking, do they?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/05/15/article-1278583-098F1CEE000005DC-329_468x375.jpg

WS

er, yeah well you know how to click on a url

james murphy could not be reached for comment as of press time

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1278510/Depression-Its-just-new-trendy-illness.html

^think this is what they call a 'shot fired'

This relatively new ailment appeared on my radar a couple of years ago

Idiot

that is an hilarious genius at work, but i'm not sure she knows it.

I beg to differ, that's an irredemably vile harridan at work

irredeemably vile people can be amusing

starts like an actual glenda slagg piece:

There's a big black cloud hanging over parts of the UK, and it's not going away. No, not volcanic ash stoopid - depression I'm talking about.

nah when you get down as far as the publicising of her own empowerment books that it really takes the plunge into black hilarity

Cloud appeared about a fortnight ago iirc

tbh i can't be arsed to read it

missing out, seriously

TBF I bet Janet Street Porter meets a lot of people who have suddenly become depressed.

Maybe you have not had the pleasure of seeing Janet Street-Porter, darragh, in acrion, believe me, she is one of the least amusing people I've ever seen in my life

in acrion? In action, I mean.

To be double fair the Daily Mail is Britain's leading newspaper for endless coverage of imaginary illnesses developed by middle class people with too much time on their hands.

tbh i can't be arsed to read it

I didn't read the whole thing, obv.!

I mean, after communist social worker house price stories, everything you eat is going to kill you stories are their whole steez.

To be double fair the Daily Mail is Britain's leading newspaper for endless coverage of imaginary illnesses developed by middle class people with too much time on their hands.

The competition is fierce though

i've seen her plenty, can't believe she hasn't swallowed her own tongue by now tbh.

sometimes you have to laugh, that's all. it's obviously a disgusting piece by an awful person, but at the same time it's funy because of the depth of feckless stupidity involved.

It's the kind of story that makes you hope somebody dear to the author goes down with severe depression in the next month, but someone dear to JSP = JSP, er, that's it

Chucklesome, after a fashion, I suppose:

But let's take a moment to consider whether depression is common among the poor or the working class?

she's been talking to john gregory, right?

The whole notion of stress simply did not exist a few years ago - it's become a by-product of the ' megeneration' that grew up in the Sixties and wanted to try everything, from drink to drugs to sex.

Yeah remember pre-1960 when the suicide rate was zero?

and people didn't drink or have sex

miraculously, 90 per cent of us, don't get depressed about it, don't take special medication and don't whinge about 'black holes'. That's life in the real world.

Given that the incidence of mental health problems in adults is roughly 10 per cent, this is an absolute stunna of a closing argument.

xp ...and don't forget that they didn't do drugs either. All that stuff about Queen Victoria being a dope fiend WAS A MYTH.

Yeah remember pre-1960 when the suicide rate was zero?

"Trouble down t' pit"
"Give over lad, 'appen tha's nowt you can do about it, now 'and me that ukelele and let 'ave a bit 'o George Formby"

You wouldn't catch someone like Winston Churchill having depression oh wait...

Middle class twat, I'm sure his scullery maid never suffered from it

guys have some respect, she's had books published all over the world, from Slovenia to Sweden, Spain and the U.S.

guys, she's not talking about justifiable depression, like winston having to fight Hitler. be fair.

I'd have thought that it'd be a barrel of laughs having to fight an Austrian with a stupid moustache and one testicle...

There sure must be place for her, as some kind of Mental Health, errrr, Tsarina in the Cleggeron Coalition?

Special Minster for Don't End Up Like This

Assistant Advisor on Oscillatory Jaw Motion

"Ms Street-Porter, Ms Street-Porter, I feel like a pair of curtains" etc

Curtains are just so middle class.

let's take a moment to consider whether curtains are common among the poor or the working class?

The truth is, we've got fatter and flabbier. Obesity is a medical condition too many of us are suffering from - but you can't claim time off work because you're fat. You can, however, suddenly find you can't 'cope' - and stress has become, in our work-orientated society, almost a badge of honour.

Admiring sudden break in extended article about "lol u sadsacks" to go "lol u sadsacks FAT, inventing illnesses cz your boss doesn't think FAT = day off amirite" and then snap back to previous tirade

our work-orientated society

that's your work-orientated society tbh, love

that's the spirit that built broken britain

or that broke built britain, either way

Steven Poole does a good job on this: http://unspeak.net/take-a-moment-to-consider/

yep, good quick job that made the point without delving into detail that the article doesn't really merit

Tsarina

political correctness gone, uh, trendy.

DiS forum has a 114-post thread on this article

presumably J S-P hasn't come out of that one very well

actually people are mostly being rubbish about it and trying to discuss whether she has a point or not

well tbf i'd be willing to discuss the issue, but not really using her as a starting point or anything

well the issue is that she's written the article as part of an agenda, and that is the issue that needs dealing with the most. that depression is a serious and widespread issue is beyond doubt but this doesn't really seem to enter her head at any point

just because she doesn't care doesn't mean it didn't enter her head

JSP dirt: never trust a woman with no female friends, just sayin'. I am reliably informed by gay friend of hers that she is intent on being the only girl in the room.

yeah, basically.

Wasn't she mates with Magenta DeVine?

Yeah, there was a connection through Tony James and Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

Magenta DeVine, now that's a blast from the past. She's finally lost the shades according to GIS;

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44375000/jpg/_44375534_rem416.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1289965/Apple-iPhone-4-recalled-says-Steve-Jobs.html

Journalistic integrity at the Mail doesn't extend to checking if a twitter account is fake or real, even when it says it is a parody in it's profile.

Here is the twitter post

http://twitter.com/ceostevejobs

# Bio I don't care what you think of me. You care what I think of you. Of course this is a parody account.

smh but this is still pretty much on par for the DM

"Sorry...

The page you have requested does not exist or is no longer available."

( http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2010/06/mail-publishes-article-based-on-spoof.html )

Oh my:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jun/Week4/15655741.jpg

but at least we would have a decent footy team too

"football and beer much superior" - Littlejohn should be renamed "Maquis Cha-Cha".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1300120/Big-homes-nice-cars-luxury-holidays--friends-don-t-know-Britains-new-MIDDLE-CLASS-POOR.html

HUMDINGER.

For many articles I write, I earn no more than £250 and often struggle to make £500 a week — just over what my rent is.
But, superficially, my habits remain the same: I go to parties, eat at restaurants when my friends invite me, and pray they don’t ask me to go Dutch.

earning sympathy just because daughter is so adorable in pic, but i mean seriously stfu forever

Amazing. I did not know people had to live like this. Thank God we've got a government who is going to chuck thousands of people out of council housing so they have to rent from people like this.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1335550/Merry-Christmas-Along-millions-middle-class-families-I-afford-one.html

Five years ago, I earned £1,200 a week from my work as a TV and film producer and would have thought nothing of spending £45 on a pot of gold-lidded lusciously scented body cream as a Christmas present for a distant cousin... These days, I am lucky if I earn £500 a week as a writer.

...

My mother spent hours wrapping presents, turning even a mundane gift into an enticing, beribboned box worthy of one of the Three Kings.

Following in her footsteps, I used to buy ribbons from VV Rouleaux — now their price of £50 for velvet and silk ribbons seems truly shocking. Obscene, even. So I was thrilled to spot a six-pack of gold twine at Tesco for £2, and I’m hoping that will do the trick.

That article's been linked to on another thread. Fucking boils my piss.

the mail really knows how to get web-hits

Like the amazing photo credit on the photo accompanying this sad tale: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1336141/Rhiya-Malin-2-died-heart-attack-getting-head-stuck-window.html

you mean (c) internet? they're doing that a lot (at least as much as i can stand to look at their site, which is not much).

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/8971/lolqa.png

do i click y/n

today's front cover is a treat.

xp - oh, you should click...

As he slopes around the world from interview to press conference, vanity drips from him like grease from a ­fatted calf roasting on the great spit of hubris.

people who write for the daily mail are generally awful writers, as well as generally awful people y/n?

We both know one person who works showbiz shifts for them and she's 100 per cent awesome. Manages to do the job without badmouthing women or getting into politics of envy in her copy.

Oh, one of my old editors from the Times writes showbiz for 'em too and he's 100% good people - I mean the type who write the hateful political tripe, who manage to combine moral scummery with a truly immoral abuse of the english language.

Best name ever for a blackmailer!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1337568/Woman-blackmailed-billionaire-3m-threatening-tell-wife-pregnant.html

xp - oh, you should click...

As he slopes around the world from interview to press conference, vanity drips from him like grease from a ­fatted calf roasting on the great spit of hubris.

― specifically, the word talking (Ned Trifle II), Friday, 10 December 2010 10:27 (Yesterday)

lol

Mail invents Australian state

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351585/Stephen-Green-rails-immorality-voice-Christian-Britan-private-wife-beater-says-partner.html

kinda unexpected? mail goes IN rather effectively on that terrible cunt stephen green - exposing him as a domestic abuser...

As recently as the 14th January the D M was using quotes from Mr Green to support the Christian agenda. Has his number been removed from your speed dial list, in preference to somebody more credible?

- Anne, West Midlands, 29/1/2011 11:54

Oof. Burn, Daily Mail.

good grief, what a hateful individual, as well.

I hope that got 'liked' a lot.

ha

http://onethingwell.org/post/3483841300/churnalism

it's not very good: http://churnalism.com/rkkqs/#1ksp1

"Mr Spendley, an amateur rock musician, wowed pupils with the toy ‘lightsaber’ he kept in his classroom as a symbol of his contempt for authority."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367723/Teacher-Mark-Spendley-confronted-ex-pupils-claim-seduced-them.html

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/04/09/article-0-0B8EF1CB00000578-734_306x319.jpg

Even more amazing:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Apr/Week2/15969526.jpg

surely that is a shop???

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Nw4pZg3f-xs/SvFo8pPxU_I/AAAAAAAAB4o/LmzFzoya2Mw/s400/md.jpg

Reggie Moondogg. DM couldn't make it up, it's too good.

speculative thread for The official Royal Wedding guest list?

Ex lovers! Cue outrage about this, plus pictures, biographies and listings of them all (you couldn't make up a name like Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe )

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1375329/Royal-wedding-Official-guest-list-revealed-Kate-Middleton-asks-2-ex-loves.html

What this basically reveals, Waity Katey in pursuit of her dream has no friends. If in a guest list of 1900 odd, the bride can only scare up a handful of girls, it speaks volumes about her. It looks like most of 'their' friends are in fact William's, but then that is not knew since we all know she keeps quiet, at the ready for him and whatever /whomever he likes, she likes. Cannot trust this girl.

- Julie, London, 10/4/2011 9:30

I bet Julie made school fun.

what are the chances of sneaking through some kind of Early Day Motion making it legal to assassinate anyone who actually calls her 'Waity Katey'

if someone said that out loud, wouldn't everyone hear Weighty Katey?

Seriously, I know you don't like giving them clicks but this is too great to miss...

What kind of Britain will William and Catherine rule? Dominic Sandbrook imagines the country they will inherit

Be sure to read the comments!

A small number read a newspaper called the Guardian, now long defunct.

already comedy gold.

Elections come and go. So do Prime Ministers, from Cooper and her husband Ed Balls to Britain’s first Asian premier, Sadiq Khan. But beneath the headlines and the tittle-tattle, little of substance ever changes.

lol yeah because no foreign trade, no cars and a wind turbine on every house is little of substance

ok damn china just happened.

"Britain’s first Asian premier, Sadiq Khan" - think this unlikely exaggeration made for the purposes of humour is the most telling.

Doubt that they will rule. Cameron is taking the first steps to change and eventually destroy the monarchy. Bliar and Brown handed over the ruling of the UK to the EU. And in such a corrupt and unelected institution there is no place for a UK monarchy . Just as the EU is destroying nations, monarchies will follow.
- norman hall, norwich england EUSSR ruled, 2/5/2011 8:28

Anyone know what these "first steps" are supposed to be?

Dealing with Liberals innit.

in such a corrupt and unelected institution there is no place for a UK monarchy

norwich is ruled by the EUSSR? what is delia playing at?

The Daily Mail has been forced to publish a series of amendments to articles claiming Scottish football manager Gordon Strachan was bisexual, had an affair with a male aide to the royal family and had a cocaine habit.

Strachan complained to the Press Complaints Commission that the articles – published in 2007 and 2008, and which remained available on the newspaper’s website – contained numerous inaccuracies.

Strachan said the newspaper was wrong to refer to him as bisexual and that he was “heterosexual and has never had anything other than platonic relationships with men”.

Strachan also said the paper was wrong to have suggested he had a regular cocaine habit and had pretended to be dead to avoid paying a woman – Laura Gosling, the source for the story – money she claimed he owed her.

first thought: haha wtf?

second: the mail or its source appears to have got confused between football manager and tv personality gordon strachan, who might struggle to fake his own death without attracting considerable attention, and royal blackmailer ian strachan. easy mistake to make!

That's hilarious. It's the Press Gazette at fault but the story has been up on their site for half an hour without anyone fixing it.

pretended to be dead to avoid paying a woman

this was just at the end of a meal, woman was a waitress btw

I love it when people scramble to deny claims that they had relations with someone of the same sex, like gayness is somehow a bad thing.

That's hilarious. It's the Press Gazette at fault but the story has been up on their site for half an hour without anyone fixing it.

― I LOVE BELARUS (ShariVari), Thursday, 12 May 2011 12:37 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol yeah: https://twitter.com/#!/pressgazette/status/68641788184899584

they've spelled "Strachan" wrong twice in that Tweet. quality work.

I love it when people scramble to deny claims that they had relations with someone of the same sex, like gayness is somehow a bad thing.

How about using it as an excuse to fiddle your expenses?

more like Gordon Strap-on amirite

That twitter link is gone.

OK, wow, that's just... wow.

So, hang on: the Mail HASN'T apologised to Gordon Strachan? Guess this means he's out. Nice work, Daily Mail. What Gordon Strachan gets up to with men in the privacy of his own house is his own business, if you ask me.

http://i42.tinypic.com/348n96v.gif

http://i53.tinypic.com/2n1ygki.jpg

For those who missed it.

Hahahaha oh god.

In other news, amusing SEO blog on how the Mail website actually works.

The Mail is in its sweet spot today, addressing the issues that matter most to Britain.

Compare and contrast with 18 months ago. Pretty sure the front page headlines are identical as well.

oh no! not slop buckets! oh no!

so fucking childish ;_;

You see, I put this in the Hate thread, but I think Matt is right, this is a 'love' one.
(really we should just have one thread - The Daily Mail "The paper you love to hate")

Nah, sometimes I just straight up hate it.

As if you can't all do a bit more for yourselves . Next you will be moaning that the council don't come round to wipe your bottoms . THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE .
- Barry, Scotland, 15/6/2011 0:58

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, June 15, 2011 8:14 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

^^^most red-flagged comment.

Most recommended comments.

Can't afford to empty our bins but got millions to give away to other countries. Cameron you stink as much as the bins.
- J Hopkins, confusedland, 14/6/2011 19:33

This island gets more like a prison every day!
- David, Manchester, 14/6/2011 19:33

I didn't really notice the Daily Mail enough when the Tories were last in power but really it is exactly the same shit that gets them angry in exactly the same way regardless of who's in power.

This island gets more like a prison every day!

hope he hasn't read about cameron's new "cigarette for extra state bread roll" initiative

compulsory radiator-fermented orange squash alcohol for children

course, it's shank or be shanked

Just don't drop that Wills & Kate commemorative plate in the shower.

it'd all be cool if the slop buckets had a picture of pippa middleton on 'em - daily mail would be happy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2009679/Diana-50-Botox-sessions-best-friends-Carole-Middleton--feeling-threatened-Kate.html

this is hilarious and basically identical to internet fanfic

She would have sued for sure, and collected record-breaking damages (which she would have donated to the children’s cancer ward at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children).

On the way to present the donation, she would have asked the driver to stop so an assistant could jump out and buy her a Toblerone.

To be fair, the Daily Mail is just reprinting this piece from Newsweek. I still can't believe they published it.

Double act: How Diana might have looked with the Duchess of Cambridge, had she lived until her 50th birthday

Hmm, exactly like a zombie?

"And then she'd have aditorf with Imran Khaaan!"

ha, like that "house that looks like Hitler" a whuile back, every comment (I've seen so far) on the "HYS" section is basically stfu.

although they figured it out a lot earlier it's the DM's equivalent of the worthless, insincere articles the Graun have been doing a lot of recently ('Amy Winehouse being too wrecked to play was awesome' / 'Villa fans who don't want Alex Mcleish are stupid' / others)

ie they know everyone who comments is going to shit on it but the pageviews will balance it out

having 107,000 Facebook friends must be right time-consuming.

today we have:

Girl, 13, crushed to death by a falling branch as she sat on park bench because her teachers were out on strike

Beautiful.

Come on Daily Mail have some respect -- RIP Sweatheart

- Sheeple, Essex, 01/7/2011 14:16

I actually thought someone had made that up...but it seems not
http://www.geeks.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Daily-Fail.png
Although it's gone now.

Should really be on the "hate" thread.

Actually it's not gone they've just changed the headline to the far more reasonable "Girl, 13, crushed to death by a falling branch as she sat on park bench on the day her teachers went out on strike".

tbf both the Telegraph and the Mirror have gone for similar lines.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2020705/LIZ-JONES-The-caring-professions-They-just-dont-care-all.html

blah blah liz jones entitled batshit whatevia, but in the middle of it...

I am catching a flight to the Horn of Africa tomorrow, to cover the famine in Somalia.

they're sending bloody liz jones to somalia. in a way i actually cannot wait.

Oh look, she's still bleating on about how much money she spends on shit, despite being skint.

I too cannot wait for Liz Jones tackles famine. It will be terrifyingly amazingly bad.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2098596/Photos-1970s-rock-stars-parents-reveal-humble-roots-childhood-homes.html
All of these pics are amazing, but the - if you will - punctum must surely be the Richie-esque bust in the Donovan shot.

Worlds apart: Grace Slick, lead singer of Jefferson Airplane, is a different woman from her mother Virginia Wing

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Feb/Week2/16168529.jpg

Delightful choice by the photo desk.

xp link for those not wanting to give the DM page views.
http://life.time.com/culture/rock-stars-and-their-parents/#1

Plant a tree to commemorate our frozen dead. Then chop it down and burn it for warmth.

If the Mail ceases production, how long until 100,000 trees are free for more useful purposes?

St George would be proud! England celebrate national day with three REAL lions

By Sportsmail Reporter

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/62705_522238435696_286500429_1188989_7850469_n.jpg

L-R: L. Jones, J.Bieber

I don't know how this story came about but everything about this picture is a treat

Dude needs to negotiate a better rider.

Does this one need to go onto the "So not going to happen" thread?

Bieber (thinks) "I thought I ordered unidentifiable nibbly things with all the yellow ones taken out, ffs. Oh, and NO right wing tabloid journalist. I swear, if that cardboard box doesn't contain a dwarf in bondage gear covered in mayonnaise, I'll trash this place."

I can't work out from this monitor if that bag of chips is sitting on a leopard skin or a huge pile of Cheerios. Or something else?

"That toaster's gonna go through this fucking mirror for a start."

xp looks like a padded red chair to me

rofl
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/09/article-2142088-1303179C000005DC-364_634x770.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2142088/And-thought-YOUR-mom-embarrassing-Hilarious-collection-photos-women-kids-forget.html

Yet more Pullitzer-worthy investigative journalism, there.

"mom"??

the daily mail gone done left blighty behind

good riddance imho

I had a flash of panic when it said "if you're planning on showering mom with flowers or giving her a card this Sunday" until i realised that i haven't bought my mother a card since 1992 it's actually Sunday the 18th in the UK.

Strange that they'd presumably pick up a US story and not bother changing anything that made it completely obvious they were just printing pre-packaged press releases.

Horror in 'Nappy Valley': Father comes home to find baby son and daughter 'smothered to death by wife' - just 10 days after they moved into £1.2m dream home

Neighbours saw the dark-haired mother being put into a police car by an officer who had an arm around her at around 10.30pm last night.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2142296/Wandsworth-deaths-Father-discovers-murdered-babies-killed-wife-slit-wrists.html#ixzz1uV5V9TDH