poll of really over the top, ludicrous, violent, "offensive" action films of the 21st century

You're missing Raindeer Games.

I voted Sin City. Prettiest of the bunch.

I heard Domino's pretty good.

domino is not actually "pretty good," but it's definitely the best of what i've seen off this list.

Man On Fire for taking itself so seriously

- a husband-and-wife pedo team kidnaps a kid in 'running scared' and he's rescued just in the nick of time by vera farmiga

^^^ omg i remember this

in that new yorker article about the lionsgate marketing guy they talk about the crank dudes' new movie called like game or something... it looks like it hilariously makes no sense at all... jason statham plays a guy who is like, someone's avatar in a video game, and he has to rescue his wife, who's like a hooker in another video game??

man on fire and shoot em up are dope - im a denzel stan tho

Also there's that Clive Owen film Shoot 'Em Up, and Jeremy Piven's Smokin' Aces. One thing you can say for a bunch of these films is that they're really cinematic -- in that they do what only a film and no other medium can do. Sure they're ludicrous and "offensive," but a lot of times they're totally visually arresting too.

man on fire is the stupidest

i love that he puts a bomb up that dude's ass

shit is ice cold

if you will

WHY SO SERIOUS

Maybe Dark Knight belongs on this list too

i mean, i've seen it like three times, i think, but it's srsly just a live action super juvenile revenge-fantasy anime. THE WORDS ON THE SCREEN

nah, dark knight doesn't have enough violence porn

"serious" fans of Man On Fire = the dudes rubbing their chins thoughtfully while they discus this deep and meaningful picture
http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/8194/1208986694233ct6.jpg

i think csi: miami is rocking this style in a police procedural mode except without the gleeful amorality because everything in the end has to be set right and anything transgressive gets punished

anything transgressive gets punished

When my wife and I were dating, I'd often hang out in her dorm lobby and wait for her to come down. And often all these religious, Orthodox college girls would be so excited because L&O: SVU was on. Not L&O, or Criminal Intent or anything else. They specifically wanted to watch the show about the girls who got raped. I found it utterly bizarre, but maybe you're on to something - maybe they were attracted to the catharsis of transgressive actions being punished?

the cops are so saintly and protective selfless in that show, maybe there's something to that.

the insane hypocritical moralism of the csi shows is hilarious imo

wtf anyone voting for something other than crank in this poll i welcome death by suggest ban

o my crank or bad boys 2 ??????

I liked the kind of ludicrously extreme ones like Crank and especially Shoot 'Em Up the best, because they drop all pretense of being some kind of post-Tarantino clever reference-happy shit and just try to be as over-the-top as possible, like an action movie version of Dead Alive, or maybe a less overtly satirical Hot Fuzz. I mean, Shoot 'Em Up isn't just a retread of a bunch of gun stunts and badass one-liners from old '80s blockbusters -- it's a whole bunch of crazy new gun stunts and badass one-liners, and it feels more like a no-frills '80s action movie than some kind of stylized '90s "bullet time" bullshit.

yeah its like choosing between two tpyes of ice cream one of which is chocolate flavor and one of which is poison

xpost

Maybe I'm just an old git but pretty much any action film these days is over the top, ludicrous, violent, and offensive to me. Any time a street stall is smashed in a car chase or a bar is trashed in a fight, I feel for the owners and their families. And I'm fed up of ammo clips that can hold a thousand rounds, and supposedly regular (ie not superhero) dudes who can take a dozen bare-knuckle hits to the face, fall two stories, and bounce straight up ready for more.

dude u dont like bad boys 2 bad boys 2 is amazing

i have not seen, ok i will get it, and maybe crank too, and try to suspend my delicate sensibilities.

Any time a street stall is smashed in a car chase or a bar is trashed in a fight, I feel for the owners and their families.

yah its true in the heartwrenching documentary crank i felt v. badly for the small business owners of los angeles their small businesses always getting trashed in motorcycle chases and defiled with high-octane public sex u cant help BUT feel for theses innocent by-standers

oh i.c. idk bad boys 2 is too cheesy and 90s imo but maybe i will rescrn

This is my favorite genre of movie. The more ludicrous, the better!

Right now I'm leaning heavily towards Domino

u cant help BUT feel for theses innocent by-standers

yeah basically i'm just a big stupid puppy who cares too much.

ahem hem BOONDOCK SAINTS

oh wait that was last century, nm

I'm with ledge and go one step further - add James Bond movies to the list.

i saw crank on the day my ex-gf was moving out of the apartment. thank u crank for being there for me when i needed u <3!

it must be bad boys II. any film that has both a 'everyone can see you on the tvs in an electronic store and ya'll sound lolgay' AND and invasion of cuba must win.

where's WANTED

omg the watch films

oh man which one had the vertical becoming the horizontal when he rides his motorcylce up a skyscraper!!!

btw "Smokin' Aces" totally should be on this list, that shit is crazy, like "Ocean's 11" for assassins

i love this shit, but i kind of hated smokin' aces

and wanted

BOOO

smokin' aces was pretty awful it was so talky and grainy and poorly edited but WANTED was dope imo even w/the borderline retarded fight club v/o

i will throw a huge no one will agree with me vote in here for the fact that "Death Race" is fucking fantastic as long as you do everything you can to ignore the fact that it is in any way associated with the original flick

Um, Kill Bill Pts. 1 and 2...

(I saw "Smokin' Aces" at the Brew 'n' View, which has $4 admission and cheap beer, and that was the right way to see it. Nice editing.)

I liked the kind of ludicrously extreme ones like Crank and especially Shoot 'Em Up the best, because they drop all pretense of being some kind of post-Tarantino clever reference-happy shit and just try to be as over-the-top as possible, like an action movie version of Dead Alive, or maybe a less overtly satirical Hot Fuzz. I mean, Shoot 'Em Up isn't just a retread of a bunch of gun stunts and badass one-liners from old '80s blockbusters -- it's a whole bunch of crazy new gun stunts and badass one-liners, and it feels more like a no-frills '80s action movie than some kind of stylized '90s "bullet time" bullshit.

I agree, I love both of those movies.

yah its true in the heartwrenching documentary crank i felt v. badly for the small business owners of los angeles their small businesses always getting trashed in motorcycle chases and defiled with high-octane public sex

throaty lolz

omg the watch films

these are totally awesomely over the top, but i don't think they're offensive enough, too much good v evil nonsense... excited for the third movie coming out this year tho.

has to be bad boys II.

i couldlnt sit thru smokin aces...that shit has to be down there with Gigli...

maybe thats what u mean by offensive tho? but mostly bcz it was hip/cartoony/great for a while and then all of a sudden picked up this unbearably shirll emo tone...where everyone was dying or something...i was like AAARGH!

btw Wanted does not belong here imo because it has ridiculous pretensions of meaning

And often all these religious, Orthodox college girls would be so excited because L&O: SVU was on. Not L&O, or Criminal Intent or anything else. They specifically wanted to watch the show about the girls who got raped...

― Mordy, Sunday, January 18, 2009 11:23 PM

You're missing the point here: HOLY SHIT CHRISTOPHER MELONI PUT ME IN HIS TOP FRIENDS ON MYSPACE

pretty much any action film these days is over the top, ludicrous, violent, and offensive to me.

Scratch "these days" and replace "offensive" with "tedious." Lots of people seem to find the visual assault in movies like this to be exciting, but for whatever reason my eyes glaze over and my mind wanders during big action-packed explosions or car chases or shoot-outs.

(Of course, I've seen none of the movies in the poll, but I'm basing my opinion on things like The Dark Knight.)

i guess it's a good thing hollywood still churns out dumbed-down dreck like rachel getting married for u to watch then!!!!

i like some, not all of these movies. i think if they're made less with a sense of smug amorality and more with an over-the-top anything goes style, the better they are (cf. bad boys II on the former and shoot 'em up on the latter). i totally meant to put smokin' aces on this list, not sure how i forgot it.

i would still prefer it if action movies like ronin were the rule and not the exception.

throaty lolz

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, January 19, 2009 5:28 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this should be hoos' name on the neo-burlesque circuit

(Of course, I've seen none of the movies in the poll, but I'm basing my opinion on things like The Dark Knight.)

― Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Monday, January 19, 2009 12:48 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

posts which effortlessly sum up...

i guess it's a good thing hollywood still churns out dumbed-down dreck like rachel getting married for u to watch then!!!!

lol, this was probably my favorite movie of 2008

sin city

are we voting for the best or the most over the top?

running scared is underrated imo. haven't seen graceland.

best

Sin City
Running Scared
Man on Fire

none of these are worth seeing

Crank
Bad Boys II
Domino
Shoot 'em Up

most offensive has gotta be man on fire for its 'torture and violence can be spiritual and beautiful w/ overexposed film and nin remixes.' but it does it very well.

if its for most WTF domino definitely gets it for the 90210 shit

Love: Man on Fire, Domino, Crank - it's really hard to pick between 1 and 3 there, and 2 has Keira Knightley breaking a sorority girl's nose

Shoot 'Em Up and Sin City are giant steaming turds

shoot 'em up seems to be an ultraviolent take on a warner bros cartoon, running scared is the most batshit fairy tale ever, domino is like some weird alternate universe thing (i wish it didn't suck).

if its for most WTF domino definitely gets it for the 90210 shit

hahaha YES

also, Monique

domino is probably the least offensive of these films actually, it's just totally insane

This is reminding me that I'd intended to bump "Crank" and "Shoot-'Em-Up" to the top of my Netflix queue

^^^great double feature, + both films are under 90 minutes long

Anyone repping for Bad Boys II over Crank in this is nuts. Aside from the double act and the bumsex gag and the finale in the Cuban mansion, BBII is yaaaaaawwwwwnn.

fer fuck's sake, why isn't The Dark Knight on this list?

you mean the dark nought?

btw the wanted voiceover was not borderline retarded it was full on aspergers syndrome unable-to-socialize-with-others shit and i wish i had never heard it in a million years

btw the wanted voiceover was not borderline retarded it was full on aspergers syndrome unable-to-socialize-with-others shit and i wish i had never heard it in a million years

i luv both badboys2 and crank but tbh bb2 owns the genre more completely - crank is straight up satire - granted amzing satire involving public sex w/amy smart but satire none the less

Anyone voting Man On Fire is crazy. Hell Deja Vu is better than Man On Fire!

crank - public sex w/ amy smart a+++++++++
wanted - bony-ass angelina jolie b-

I think I'm going to vote 3000 Miles.

ok i finally made up my mind and voted bad boys 2 for the reason i just mentioned - sorry crank i still luv u boo

XXX should really be in this poll.

I can't believe that Vin Diesel was in a movie directed by Mathieu Kassovitz co-starring Charlotte Rampling (!!!?!?)

Move to ILF?

move nothing

there should be no pg-13 flicks in this poll hence i didn't put any

fer fuck's sake, why isn't The Dark Knight on this list?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Friday, January 23, 2009 5:54 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wtf are u talkin about, tdk is too relentlessly tasteful and boring to be considered amongst masterpieces like crank

xxx doesnt belong here either, it's pg-13 and is just an action movie with a lil bit of an XTREME touch

xp to omar

basically u dudes ~*dont get it*~

My memories of XXX are apparently more XTREME than the movie itself.

3000 Miles to Graceland might be a stretch to even put in the same category as the others (re: sheer enjoyability).

qualities of films that qualify for this list:

- archaic or misogynistic views of females
- children or babies in expoitative situations
- offensive and vulgar humor
- wall to wall violence, usually gory, oftentimes involving innocent bystanders whose fates the filmmakers do not care about
- hyperediting
- making fun of fratty shit while completely indulging in its most base excesses
- rated R or unrated
- usually vv entertaining

well 3000 miles is a real piece of shit but it definitely belongs here

xpost Why is Man On Fire on this list again?

man on fire is insane, is why

Not even sure Domino qualifies based on that criteria. It's got hyperediting going for it, I guess.

yeah i forgot to mention "sheer insanity"

I wish the violence in Man On Fire was wall to wall.

I don't recall any humor in Man On Fire, vulgar or otherwise.

ok listen not every film has all these qualities but they all have most of these qualities jesus h christ

alex why dont u take ur routine to HELL, where it will be more appreciated

Shoot Em Up has all these qualities therefore it should win. Unfortunately it is not vv entertaining.

ok do not further gabbneb my action movie thread

I just calls 'em like I sees 'em.

Is gabbneb a verb now?

i luv both badboys2 and crank but tbh bb2 owns the genre more completely

idk dude this movie is like six hours long and isnt nearly as good as classic 90s michael bay - which its totally trying to be imo.

I just calls 'em like I sees 'em.

― Alex in SF, Friday, January 23, 2009 6:48 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.chaosquake.de/files/temp/i-cant-see-shit.jpg

Is cankles Tony Scott or something?

~*i wish*~

qualities of films that qualify for this list:

- archaic or misogynistic views of females
- children or babies in expoitative situations
- offensive and vulgar humor
- wall to wall violence, usually gory, oftentimes involving innocent bystanders whose fates the filmmakers do not care about
- hyperediting

Tell me how The Dark Knight doesn't qualify.

I wish you were too. Couldn't be any worse of a director than the real Tony Scott.

"Tell me how The Dark Knight doesn't qualify."

usually vv entertaining is probably the sticking point here. That said Man On Fire is on the list so. . .

http://209.85.117.197/12413/88/0/e25948//e25948.gif

tdk was pretty tame, violence-wise... it just didnt have that many BLAOW!!!! moments. these movies are characterized by their number of 'lolll WUT' moments of excess and ott-ness. tdk was just glum and ~_~

the violence in dark knight is hardly wall to wall and the humor isnt particularly offensive anyway there's way too much silence and bullshit film moments for it to qualify

hard-boiled might've qualified once upon a time but it seems a lot less crazy and insane by today's standards

^^true

hard boiled might be too moral though in some way?

None of these movies contain one-tenth of the excitement of Hardboiled or Full Contact.

Or for that matter Double Team.

hb is probably too contemplative too, that shit with the origami wouldnt fly in bad bwoyz 2

I don't recall any humor in Man On Fire, vulgar or otherwise.

― Alex in SF, Friday, January 23, 2009 11:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

uh dude what about the bomb up a guy's ass

idk dude this movie is like six hours long and isnt nearly as good as classic 90s michael bay - which its totally trying to be imo.

― spells don't effect me, just hit em for the xp (Lamp), Friday, January 23, 2009 6:49 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

its fine if u like the rock better but the thing abt bb2 is its really the culmination of this style in every way - they invade cuba have ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts and the somehow cogent quickcut insanity is taken to its logical conclusion to the point that lesser directors have spent the last 5 years trying to somehow harness that wild steez into a more functional frame - ie bourne which is a miraculously respectable version of of this shit

I guess that was funny. I remember it being a pretty somber affair mostly punctuated by lots of explosions and annoying Dakota Fanning dialogue.

the girl was not dead but denzel didnt care he got a meaningful torture and murder sesh in - how is that not funny

Many ways.

i honestly dont remember the quickcut stuff in bb2 but i havent seen it since i saw it in the theater i cant even remember who shot who in the buttocks any more u make a good argument i.c. will netflix

lol am dlin now

thx for thread guys, fiancee's out of town this weekend and i need to rent some movies

will probably vote sin city

sin city is a lil too arty to fully represent the genre imo

What it lost via artiness is made up for via ludicrousness

how was sin city ludicrous if anything it wasnt ludicrous enuff barring whatisface as a boy assassin

ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts
ridiculous zing wars in the middle of bloody shootouts

lol

I dunno -- even with the fabulist comic-book thing happening, that movie still somehow struck me as somehow more ludicrous than, I dunno, Crank. Crank feels like a Mike Leigh film compared to Sin City. To me. It might have something to do with how aware the movies are of their respective ludicrousness, but maybe if you like Sin City that falls under the banner of being "arty."

Haha I mean clearly Sin City KNOWS it's all fabulist and comic-booky and ludicrous, but I think even despite that it's actually even MORE ludicrous than it even thinks it is!

btw the spirit is possibly the most ludicrous movie in the world

i think maybe when u said ludicrous i was thinking farce and sin city plays it way too serious to be a farce there were a lot of ott moments yah, okay, sure, but in tone and intent i think sin city is too self-serious to be ludicrous

obv i guess that requires u to buy into the film's world or w/e if u don't then of course all the genre/ott moments seem retarded

it's so self serious it becomes ludicrous

btw the spirit is possibly the most ludicrous movie in the world

I think technically that award goes to Crash, which not only WAS ludicrous but also had Ludacris IN it

I mean, you can't beat that

i think maybe when u said ludicrous i was thinking farce and sin city plays it way too serious to be a farce there were a lot of ott moments yah, okay, sure, but in tone and intent i think sin city is too self-serious to be ludicrous

i am pretty sure SC plays itself so serious because it IS a farce

i feel that way about almost all frank miller shitz tho

come on guys sin city totally fits in this genre:

1 archaic or misogynistic views of females
2 children or babies in expoitative situations
3 offensive and vulgar humor
4 wall to wall violence, usually gory

1 female characters = a hot lesbian cop, an innocent stripper who gets saved by heroic cop, and hookers who run section of town that's forbidden to cops unless cops are "shopping"
2 "little nancy callahan"
3 lol benicio tel doro corpse w/ slit throat talks shit to clive owen in the passenger seat
4 come on now, dude named 'yellow bastard' gets his balls ripped out, frodo baggins eats hookers and hangs their heads on a wall, marv drags a dude's face against the pavement while hanging him out of a car door, later crushes some other dude's face with his bare hands, etc

my criteria for this is basically "was this directed by a douchebag and has more than 10 murders in it"

lol

xxp i only feel that way about robocop 2

robert rodriguez did sin city right? so there you go

xpost

haha this reminds me that when i saw 'sin city' i honest to god had no idea WHAT to think. x-post

I think technically that award goes to Crash, which not only WAS ludicrous but also had Ludacris IN it

― nabisco, Friday, January 23, 2009 8:14 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol didnt get past the cop finger rape

I love Keira Knightly's haircut in Domino. It really suits her.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

So are the Bourne films in this category or are they too arty as well?

pg-13, the violence is too 'tasteful'

Also no babies in exploitive situations.

Unfortunate.

Why isn't Smokin' Aces on this list again?

i probably missed some obvious ones but whatever. this isn't scientific.

DAMN YOU oh wait.

It's weird, actually -- I looked over that list of films and realized I hadn't seen any of them! But then I thought a bit and realized that I never really saw many 80s-into-early 90s action films at the time either. I think the only time I ever saw a Schwarznegger film in the theatre was Red Heat -- god knows what the hell I was thinking there because it wasn't Jim Belushi's ineluctable appeal that prompted me.

Meantime my mom can quote Die Hard chapter and verse, and has probably seen every one of these films.

I've seen every movie on this list and also mentioned in this thread except for Wanted and Running Scared, I think.

Oh I guess I mentioned Babylon AD above and I haven't seen that either.

wise move

Hah b-b-b-but it has CHARLOTTE RAMPLING in it?!?!?

Crank is great fun. Shoot 'em Up is very similar while managing to be a steaming pile.

Mentioned upthread, but Death Race nails this genre like no other.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Ticks all the boxes. Offensive and ludicrous especially.

yes! didn't see results first time around

Having seen all the movies listed in this thread (and enjoyed most of them) I find myself looking for a silly over the top with violence movie to watch. Any recommendations?

The one with Rhona Mitra where there are anarchist zombies in Scotland or something?

It was on TV last night. I recorded it.

Doomsday! It is wonderful. Punisher: War Zone is also wonderfully ott.

Doomsday!

xp haha yes! Sorry I lied, there are no zombies but there is a killer disease outbreak and a giant wall along the Scottish border.

Have seen Doomsday already. Not Punisher tho, so there's my entertainment for tonight.

the top 5 movies in this poll were all massive good times for me

Stephen Seagal's son rides a motorcycle and shoots a bazooka in medieval brazil/japan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBGOVMEfYNU

"Any recommendations?"

have you seen War, The Bank Job, Crank: High Voltage, Chaos, Transporter, Transporter 2, and Cellular?.

omg War, that movie was outright nonsense

highly recommended

and have you seen A Perfect Getaway, Resident Evil: Extinction, Ultraviolet, and Resident Evil: Apocalypse?

once they get milla and statham in trilogy of space zombie shooters i can finally die and go to heaven.

haha I am going to die because someone else besides my wife and me will rep for "Ultraviolet"

please do not see ultraviolet! i slept through this movie and inland empire, and my dream impression is inland empire had more exciting action.

Yes to all, except for ultraviolet.

all you really need to know in order to make up your mind, jibe:

Violet Song jat Shariff (Milla Jovovich), was infected with hemoglophagia over a decade ago and after being detained and studied, she loses her husband and her unborn child. She is now a ruthless killing machine with only hours left to live due to her terminal-stage hemoglophagia. She is hired by an underground resistance movement of hemophages waging a guerrilla war against the Arch-Ministry and its megalomaniacal, mysophobic leader, Vice-Cardinal Ferdinand Daxus (Nick Chinlund).

oh wait then you saw it? well, nobody can like everything.

Nope that's the only one of your recommendations I haven't seen. That plot summary makes it sound ridiculously silly. Off i go to find it on the web.

It IS ridiculously silly!

i'm really impressed by her english, though. is it true that at the time of fifth element she knew no english at all?

but yes, it is not ridiculous enough to be entertaining. i think it is probably almost exactly the same movie as the theron aeon flux, which no one is recommending.

JUDGE DREDD

I had Doomsday on in the background last night while I was cooking and even then I had to change the channel.

Ultraviolet is way better than the AF movie. Bear in mind it is the same director and almost the same movie as Equilibrium, so it's not like it's a masterpiece, but as dumb schlocky eye-candy, you could do a lot worse

i don't like any of these movies :-/

ok again i say with emphasis really everyone needs to see "Death Race"

lol talk about mixed signals

perfect getaway doesnt really belong on this list

also, it's pretty great

Death race is fucking great, agree.

really? hm.. where you guys stand on terminator: salvation?

dodged that bullet, dont know

total shit

You guys are netflix recommendation AI nightmare!

Terminator: Salvation is one of the most boring movies ever made and actually made me put Christian Bale several notches below Tom Cruise in the "would see a movie starring him" stakes.

terminator was such trash srsly cannot recall a more inept and tedious movie released last year

i enjoyed guy ritchie's "revolver" which is less gleefully amoral & violent than many of the movies itt but makes up for it with some truly o_O OMGWTFLOL moments. basically if there was anything u tht wld be unthinkably cool & badass when you were 13 that movie probably has it. xcept dinosaurs, sry.

oh well no I won't see it

Seriously praying that The Expendables lives up to the finest of these movies.

And Jesus Christ Terminator: Salvia was worse than you guys just said

also doesnt have that dead dude from joy division using magic to fight dark elves either so i probably shouldve qualified that "you" somehow (xxp)

Terminator Salvation sucks yeah. Have so much hope for The Exepndables.

I always have a shit ton of hope for any movie starring Statham btw. Dude has rarely disappointed.

re: expendables, I'm a little sad that stallone's latest Rocky/Rambo entries were semi-respectable rather than going back to the insanity that is Rocky IV, so that doesn't look too good for expendables.

has anyone seen JVCD? that monologue clip kind of put me off, but might be willing to give it a go.

I'm not sure if I would "recommend" Tunnel Rats by Uwe Boll but I certainly enjoyed it.

John Rambo was semi-respectable? I only remember it finishing with half an hour of non stop violence, which doesn't sound too respectable to me.
JCVD really isn't a movie like those talked about in this thread. Good movie but not at all violent iirc.