Passive aggressive notes

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3269/3080395630_273326a28b.jpg?v=0

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dear spoons: fuc you

Burl_Stanton

dear nathan & amy: fuc you and your whiny-ass kid you bring everywhere with you even though you could totally get a babysitter

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3152/2810909941_a7af692ca4.jpg?v=1220629532

"what happened? i am confused." << love this tactic

dear passive-aggressiveness,

it's fine. keep it up. i'm ok here. it's cool. no, really.

why do people start threads to just repost digg'd meme b.s. from websites and not just post a link to the website

Dear Sarah:

This is just to say

that I have eaten the cheese

that you put in the fridge

Forgive me

It was delicious

so tangy

and so orange

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3011/2625080293_1cb18924f4.jpg?v=0

hey sarah,

someone opened it used it and left it unwrapped.

dear cheese: sarah (bitch) is talking shit about you

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2354/2509428080_8ee2699a44.jpg?v=0

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3303/3270202925_0e5714b9f2.jpg?v=1235598350

i think that one is just straigh up aggressive xp

Okay so I don't want to overanalyze this but.

"Used"?

In what way do you "use" cheese other than eating it?

OMG I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WAS DONE WITH/TO SARAH'S CHEESE

dear tiffany: yes. be more dead.

marcus you deadbeat

These are coming from here by the way. A treasure trove.

That fish is going to suffocate anyway with those books on top of the bowl like that

i just cant believe marcus

what nerve

okay not to overanalyze this, but why did she change pens? And what happened to the orange pen? I don't see it.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1208/538354371_4c471074bd.jpg?v=1181458267

yeah it doesn't appear that it ran out of ink. the lettering looks quite saturated in color.

sarahel,

why would you state you don't want to overanalyze, and then proceed to overanalyze?

what happened? i'm confused.

xo
elmo

dear ass toilet nazi: i hope you get eye herpes

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1413/942523806_bb452fce2e.jpg?v=0

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Money/Pix/pictures/2008/06/16/note460.jpg

dear apartment: i hope you also get eye herpes from having gross eye sex with toilet nazi

i'm dying @ "what happened? i'm confused."

seriously, i actually, literally cannot stop laughing

that receipt was from a YELPer, wasn't it

^ tip should be: what happened? I'm confused.

Some of the people posting to the flickr pool seem to have confused passive aggressive with aggressive aggressive.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2354/2509428080_8ee2699a44.jpg?v=0

wtf no it isn't

http://www.flickr.com/photos/passiveaggressive/3245429533/

There is nothing passive about this!

xp guys tell me it isn't

I bet a lot of these were preceded by stressed-out phone calls back to mom by freshman ug's away for the first time who have a four year plan and who don't see why we can't just live like adults whats so hard about that etc. and clever mom thinks i know, why don't you go buy a new sponge! let me know how it goes...bye becky, stay focused.

I posted this on the lookit these fucking cats thread, something about a lost cat that appeared on my neighborhood's google message group.

miss h
View profile
He wandered from 3300 ridge road. He is an inside outside cat that I
picked up as a stray from the VA. His name is Milo. I work at said
Va all weekend. If you have a family for him though, I have no
problem with him having a good home. I took him off the hill as a
tiny kitten because we have huge foxes up there and he would have been
eaten.

miss h
View profile
Thank you for taking care of milo

miss h
View profile
Did the neighbor come and get him, or did you take him to the shelter?

Will C.
View profile
We've decided to keep him ourselves.
He's going to be an indoor cat now.
Peace,
Will

miss h
View profile
ok, can you do me a favor and post pictures of him periodically. My
daughter has cried for days now about him.
Peace out

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2357/2099971336_ec19763de3.jpg

^^ neither passive nor aggressive

more like a agonized plea for dignity

are they confusing toilet lid w/toilet seat? Usually if I see a toilet with the lid down, I flush first figuring there's something gross the previous user wanted to hide.

you wouldn't want them brought back tho really

xp

yah i'm imagining note-writer walked into the bathroom and saw the toilet with nice clean water, seat down, lid up, and flipped out at our poor marcus. god what a fucking nutty bitch.

though they're stealing from the dryers, so presumably they are were clean

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3107/2854148438_9154cd0943.jpg

lol that paper towel one.

"I AM NOT STINGY, BUT I DEMAND YOU CALL ME FOR PERMISSION WHEN YOU NEED A SQUARE OF PAPER TOWEL."

also: lack of breeding?

wait - they're steeling panties ... like pouring molten steel on them Richard Serra style?

another agonized plea

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3028/2776452142_2602b04829.jpg

i'm just going to stop, nothing can top "what happened? i'm confused."

I really wish I could see, like, from what zip code from where these notes are coming.

Because someone thought "oh a cake, I'll have some of that", then they took a bite and realised that it tasted of sawdust?

"I AM NOT STINGY, BUT I DEMAND YOU CALL ME FOR PERMISSION WHEN YOU NEED A SQUARE OF PAPER TOWEL."

also: lack of breeding?

Seriously, if they had real breeding, they'd use cloth towels.

man someone i know needs to have a cakeworthy occasion just so i cen get them a "congrats on your teen pregnancy" cake

these are all funnier if you add "what happened? im confused" to the end

it's "i am confused," which is even funnier.

xpost Hmm, I think she means both rim and seat cover up, which leaves only the porcelain itself to sit upon. Possibly this person has lived with no men, until one fateful day...

the infamous roommate that never deleted his insane google searches from the house computer made hundreds of these notes but i never took any pictures ;_;

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3106/2281063050_6dd58ebe36.jpg?v=1203566430

http://ronanfitzgerald.net/random%20stuff/sheanote.JPG

taken from my friend's kitchen table, circa 1998

okay, looking more closely at the cake in the fridge pic, what the hell are those large square tubs to the right of the note? What do those people keep in there?

The cupcake one is totally justified! That happened with some pears I bought for a recipe last Christmas, I found one on the counter with a huge bite taken out of it and ants crawling all over, like someone had wanted to try one and then thought, "eh, well, I don't really like pears." My response was not a note, though, it was "WHAT THE FUCK? Who the fuck DOES that? ...oh, wait. I know who." I didn't bother writing a note or actually talking to the person because when you've lived with someone long enough you know they don't change.

FUCK, Please

AARG
BRRRHHH
FUCK
MNNNH FUCK
RRGGGH
aaAAAAAAAH!!

-Cindy

congrats on your teen pregnancy cake is classic

should have just had that dirty ass paper towel with a note "what happened? i am confused. --->"

re this is not a week's worth of shit fuck PLEASE

Cindy's got a point.

why is Cindy cleaning the floor with a paper towel? Doesn't she know it is a social norm to use a mop?

-- Binned

is good too

dying

xp to max

I never would leave a note for flatmates btw. I know the golden rule of life always seems to be COMMUNICATE but with flatmates I assume that I do some annoying shit too that they don't mention, or that there is stuff they always buy that I don't. We're all in this weird rota of buying stuff, eg I am the only one who ever buys butter but can't remember the last time I bought toilet roll.

video in my machine is disgusting -- PORN. what happened? i am confused.

Did Paul have to meet the writer of that note at 1PM, or 1AM?
I'm confused...

Also sounds like PA note-writer owes Paul a porno tape

that porno was confusing...I remember it

x-post no she owes me a porno tape, I lent it to him!

either that or she just mean she watched it after smoking tons of weed

should have just had that dirty ass paper towel with a note "what happened? i am confused. --->"

LOL!

(xxpost) hahalol

I actually love seeing notes like these, because it's great to know that there are people in the world even more uptight than I am...

we got one a few months back from an anonymous neighbour which had that weird rambling style of these notes then a great ending...

"NB, this is NOT the first time this has happened"

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3193/3046448004_041b79a74b.jpg?v=1227394543

"Congrats on your teen pregnancy" = Passive Aggressive Notes/Cake Wrecks crossover?

i should start leaving passive-aggressive notes for my wife

Subject: MILK AGAIN

This is another non-passive, very aggressive one from work, but is surely worth posting - especially as it followed a couple of passive aggressive ones that I now can't find

People of Soho!!

How ever is using my MILK F*****G DON'T!!!! There is milk there for
you to use for your coffees and teas SO STOP using mine! It is not
like I DON'T have my name writing all over it. How would you feel if I
kept taking something of YOURS!!!

A very P****D OFF

L***!

play something good, like starland vocal band

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f207/magzdove/passive%20aggressive%20drama/1dryerase.jpg

and the cheese again

"dear wife,

You're pregnant!?! What happened? I am confused."

"PS have you seen my brie - looks like this" = classic.

*so innocent*

weird random underlining seems to be a key trait here...it really suggests utter fucking insanity

the brie appears to be used and unwrapped.

hah username pileup begins

i should start leaving passive-aggressive notes for my wife

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, February 26, 2009 4:29 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Please let us know how this works out for you.

that last roomate clearly doesn't want to make waves and is probably nicer than 95% of the people in meme and just wants her cheese

Oh man I was such a douche as a student house sharee. I must've got tons of these notes.

it really suggests utter fucking insanity
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http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3028/2776452142_2602b04829.jpg

this would be better if the note was shaped like a speech bubble

i think if someone took my stuff i'd actually freak out

like say, if it was something I needed or had just come in from work expecting to be there. never happened tho.

steal my coffee!! no more

actually once flatmates drank a sixpack of mine meaning friend and me had to go back to off licence...I was raging. never mentioned it tho.

NO FRIDGE UNTIL I AM COMPENSATED

guys fyi i don't think cindy cleaned the floor w/ a paper towel i think it was one of those swiffer things.

actual lol at 'have you seen my brie? looks like this C<'

Oh man I was such a douche as a student house sharee. I must've got tons of these notes.

ditto. Once, someone put my dirty dishes in a box and left it in front of my door ...on the 3rd floor. I forget what the note said.

housemate leaves notes personifying household objects, for instance, two i got last week - a note above one of those plug in air freshener things reads, "hello aaron, how was your nights sleep? I hope it was good, as mine wasnt. this is because when you leave me on over night, i like to burn the house down."
then one above the toilet roll holder (i hadnt put it on, just sort of balanced it), "hi aaron, im lost. It seems somebody has removed me from where i live. can you help me please? im ever so homesick."

omg the fridge one

Hate Hate Hate people who whine about garlic but this is good stuff

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/3131350890_9d1cd3f90d.jpg

oh and last month my flatmate who doesn't handle the rent cced me in an email to my flatmate who does where he informed her he had paid his rent. this was for no reason but it bugged the holy hell out of me since I've never been late with rent.

might compose a note actually.

I once came home to a living room full of shoes because my roommates objected to my bad habit of leaving my shoes on the floor. It was the first time that I had even been made aware that there was a problem.

Other than that, anybody that would've tried any of these cutsey little notes would have been smothered with a phone book in their sleep.

"hello aaron, how was your nights sleep? I hope it was good, as mine wasnt. this is because when you leave me on over night, i like to burn the house down."

would smash

guys fyi i don't think cindy cleaned the floor w/ a paper towel i think it was one of those swiffer things.

You're right, it seems a bit too thick for your standard paper towel.

There was this tetchy goth mature student in the room next to mine one year who had a wipe-off noticeboard where she used to write these pass-agg "Please do not make any noise whatsoever after 9pm I have to get up for a lecture by midday tomorrow" notes. So one pissed night I wiped it clean with a fire extinguisher.

toushe sir

Aaron, what did you leave on overnight?

one of those electrical socket air freshener devices

That's some old wives tale bullshit about plug-in air fresheners being a fire hazard, anyway.

he leaves his fuckin pc on for weeks!

That's some old wives tale bullshit about plug-in air fresheners being a fire hazard, anyway.

― J.B. "Judas" Priestley (Noodle Vague)
true

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/glade.asp

my god that was fast sleuthing

omg the fridge one

notice also that they've cut the plug off the mains cable

U KNOW WHO U R

Prince gets really tetchy if he doesn't get his morning coffee..

The passive agressive Facebook status update is not getting enough love:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3125/2351795875_c6e7579ef3.jpg?v=0

If this shit happened to us there'd be a thread called "Cheese Stealing Motherfuckers - bitch about your lazy, stealing housemates here" in about 3 seconds.

There really is no way to complain about some of this crap without coming off as whiny, which is why student houses are like they are, it's a passive aggressive stand off and no-ones budging.

still notes are great.

i'm should start leaving passive aggressive notes for myself.

jordan,

why do we not have any food? what happened? i am confused.

-j

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1032/1431710522_475a764238.jpg?v=0

Hahahahaha omg "my mum bought me that pizza".

The note loses all conceptual grasp of itself when it conflates enjoying pizza with keeping it in a fridge

hahahahahah priceless

"enjoy"

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http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1251/1121099483_d4efeaacf7.jpg?v=0

I wish I could fit "play something good, like starland vocal band, or Captain & Tenille" into a username.

please find itthe pizza my mum bought in your christian heart

A friend of mine posted on LJ this morning:

"To the people who believe what that conniving, twisted fuck says.......

Thanks. What a bunch of weak individuals you really are."

Every one of her friends is replying with "wtf are you on about?" and she's all "oh no no its not you guys!"

WELL WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU POST IT ON LJ FOR THEN.

wats lj

sorry, livejournal.

ah, gracias trayce

louisjournal

on the hole in my front door when i arrived home this evening:
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg187/nick-uptoeleven/Image008.jpg

to be fair, i did cause the hole.

yikes big. removed.

(sez: FIX ME PLS (before i fix you!!))

One time in college I was pissed off at an uninvited guest so I wrote the lyrics to Radiohead - A Wolf at the Door on a little white wash board (all scrunched like), I realized it was stupid and I didn't know what my roomie would think about it, so I wiped off parts of the lyrics with my finger (zig-zag like) - only making it more incomprehensible. Then I played that song over and over again in my passive aggressive zoned out rage. I ended up scripting a letter to the uninvited guest guy and recited it on his answering machine. The last I heard from him was on the phone and he was like 'fuck, man that hurts'. I had all the dudes clothes in a garbage bag sitting outside the apartment door and he never came and picked it up. Im ashamed that I left such a long mean spirited message that was cleverly written to make feel like shit. He owed me money though.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8326992@N08/2805873263/

whoops
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3199/2805873263_c3b6bc3949.jpg

wow

they sound like toilet rolls in a panto.

anyone who uses that particular emoticon in a needless passive-aggressive note deserves some kind of karmic encounter

I'm partial to the ones that involve displays. Compositionally, I'd have put the empty toilet paper roll to the right of the note, though the slight diagonal of the roll is nice.

jaunty, even

Oh man, I should have taken a cellphone pic of the note hanging above the urinal at my gf's work. It's a memo from the editor addressed to "gentlemen" and says something like "Apparently some of the men in this building are unable to use the urinal without missing. For those who cannot consistently hit the mark, I suggest sitting down instead. Sincerely, G***"

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3656/3344656081_0aa8276612.jpg?v=1236725158

sarah,

i regret to inform you that i think somebody has had a little bit of your cheese, i was going to call the police for you but thought you might not like to make a huge fuss about such a petty little thing. let me know thought if you want me to call 999.

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lololololololol

this thread just keeps bringing the lols.

One place where I worked had a really uptight guy who posted a notice in the men's washroom that read "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES AND LEAVE THESE CUBICLES A MESS. IT IS DISGUSTING. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WILL NOT HESITATE TO NAME AND SHAME IF IT CONTINUES."

did he call you out?

It wasn't me! Actually the guy who was responsible didn't give a shi... oh wait...

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE

This raises a question.

there's a note in our workplace bathroom that admonishes ppl to not leave pots and pans in the bathroom.

i mean...what.

! why the hell would... you know, never mind, I've already had one thread today where someone described an acquaintance's handshake as a mixture of "soul-handshake" and "dropping it like it's hot", I don't need more perplexing human behavior today

Maybe it's because people feel that others might need a pot to piss in?

Wouldn't it be easier to link straight to the passive-aggressive notes blog instead of copying and pasting the images from each update?

^^^ Passive-aggressive post

It would be easier if that was what I wanted to do.

Someone caught on.

Why does someone keep questioning the method of lol-bringing in this thread? Would you like it if we questioned your lol-bringing methods?

I've already had one thread today where someone described an acquaintance's handshake as a mixture of "soul-handshake" and "dropping it like it's hot", I don't need more perplexing human behavior today

All you need are the four magic words: What happened? I'm confused.

the sign in my office's kitchen says something like "remember to rinse your dishes, your mother will be so proud!"

I've seen other variations on this 'clean up after yourself + (something about your mother)' - I think any sign that mentions your mother in any form automatically becomes passive aggressive

I think any sign that mentions your mother in any form automatically becomes passive aggressive

I dunno about that. "Clean up your shit, motherfucker!" is not particularly passive.

would much prefer that sign

there is a sign in our kitchen that says "clean up the counter! so (name of janitor here} doesn't have to do it!" which begs about a billion questions such as

A) who the fuck spills shit all over a counter and doesn't wipe it up
B) what is the janitor's JOB?

Our kitchen signs are a photo of a dog standing on its hind legs using one of those dust-pans with the long handle to pick up ITS OWN POO. I try not to notice them. Really? In the KITCHEN??

pretty impressive dog, tho

Our kitchen signs are a photo of a dog standing on its hind legs using one of those dust-pans with the long handle to pick up ITS OWN POO. I try not to notice them. Really? In the KITCHEN??

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel)

http://i41.tinypic.com/wjfkg3.jpg

^^^winner

clearly only ladies would be bothered by having someone shit on their floor

maybe Frank is only interested in shitting on ladies' kitchen floors. Maybe it's a sex thing?

I actually know someone who did that in someone else's hotel bathroom -- i.e., purposefully, in the middle of the floor, in the hotel bathroom -- and seemed to find it pretty funny.

It doesn't seem particularly funny, though.

was this someone 4 years old?

a guy i knew at university was on football curry night out, climbed up on top of a sports car, and took a shit on the roof. he is married now.

I've always wanted to know if Frank peaced on the kitchen floor, or did a "peace out" after he was done shitting.

There's kind of a magical, pixie-dust quality in being able to shit on command, I think.

The someone was probably like 23 at the time? I dunno. It doesn't even seem like a plausible "imagine the look on their faces" joke, because the looks would just be of horror and revulsion and total conviction that the person responsible was borderline insane.

xpost - it seems like an integral component of this kind of prank that you leave very, very, very soon after putting the, umm, wheels in motion

I meant to put "prank" in scare quotes, BTW

According to the chronology of the note, he shit, then peaced. Peaced being short for "did a peace out" makes sense, though I've never heard it before.

well, it is williamsburg

how would one peace on a floor...?

I dunno, maybe it's a williamsburg thing ...

this is why i never go into williamsburg anymore.

I saw a guy poop off the second floor of a fire escape onto the patio below during a party when I was in college. He is now a news anchor in a major US metropolitan market, no lie.

wow this shit is my life

http://i39.tinypic.com/2hrln9h.jpg

What does it say???

I think it's just that certain people get really drunk and somehow start thinking it would be hilariously absurd to take a dump someplace that's insane and inappropriate to take a dump, like right in the middle of a floor somewhere. What they don't seem to realize is that poop is actually a super-common item, enough so that it's not really absurd or hilarious to find it in weird places, just disgusting. (This goes double for the hotel-bathroom example, because it's the bathroom -- it's not striking or hilarious, it just seems like too drunk to even remember your potty training.)

thats my old roommate telling me and my other roommate to mow the lawn and clean the dishes and some shit. yes the note is exactly where your face would be

this dude looooved the passive aggressive notes. sometimes now i have to remember that it's not an acceptable form of communication

a good friend of mine shat in someone's dishwasher, but that was just because he was so drunk he legitimately thought it was the bathroom.

why is it always dudes with the shitting?

it is a question for the ages.

I've been to two parties where someone shat in the kitchen sink. And both times the dudes were crackheads. So maybe that's a thing.

In an old toilet cubicle at work there used to be this nasty ... stuff ...on one of the walls. I didn't pay it too much attention until one day someone wrote on the wall in aggressive biro:
"To whoever picks their nose and wipes it on the wall, even though there is an ample supply of toilet paper within easy reach - you are an ANIMAL"

Haha I like how that's purely informational, and doesn't make any suggestions or commands about the situation

T-Bomb

poop is actually a super-common item

^^^user name for the taking

"you are beyond even bothering with the imperative"

The fire escape pooper was just a drunk frat boy who acted like a crack head for lols, I guess.

I do know what story of fecal outrageousness that involves a woman, but she was drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrunk and it was more of a tragic accident than a terrible idea for a prank.

well you need to give it up because i don't know any awesome/gross/wtf stories with females over the age of 9 & p00p

..or maybe things are better the way they are. come to think of it.

A guy I know took a dump in the hallway of another friend's apartment at a party. Apparently a soiled pair of socks was found close by.

i know a woman who pooped her pants at work because she was too busy to use the bathroom, but it wasn't really a "prank". this was at mcdonald's, btw.

NO WAY

she might've kinda been my girlfriend at the time

NO WAY!!!

I laughed hard at "this was at mcdonald's, btw", but I think I'd like to forget this story forever within the next 12 hours.

well you need to give it up because i don't know any awesome/gross/wtf stories with females over the age of 9 & p00p

woman takes shit on dancefloor during Nick Cave show

yup. this was when i was 18 so it's no one you know, jenny.

one of her friends brought her some fresh underwear.

a friend of mine said he saw a woman who'd shat herself at Auschwitz, though he put it down to weird continental European toilets rather than massive grief

Heh, I actually didn't think it was anyone I know as the someone I know doesn't seem like the type to shit her pants or work at McDonald's.

xp

I'm glad you all are enjoying this thread, but can't help noticing you're not posting in the thread I started. (I'm sure this is an honest oversite.)

it's now about passive aggressive poop, accept it.

"oversight"

Thanks so much for pointing this out, btw.

once someone threw up in my washing machine

bright side: could've been the dryer

a friend threw up in an ornamental jug in my house before when I lived with my parents, and my mum found it about 6 months later

i was that friend

not sure why I keep adding these show and tell anecdotes of bodily secretions here

x-post how could you

rip our friendship

it's not as bad as shitting yourself at auschwitz to be fair...that poor lady's trip there certainly took a disastrous turn.

all it took was one man. one man turned this into a thread about poop and vomit.

and that man was frank

I can't get over how much Frank looks like a young George Michael.

I bet he didn't wake his victim up before he go-go'd tho.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a8/Wham!_Make_It_Big_album_art.JPG

I'm glad you all are enjoying this thread, but can't help noticing you're not posting in the thread I started. (I'm sure this is an honest oversite.)

What happened? I am confused.

one time a homeless man pooped on my stoop but that's really the only story i have in this realm.

i was going to say i had no stories in this realm but then i remembered my parents' friends coming to stay when i was 9 and their 9 year old son pooped on our carpet about an hour after they arrived and then screamed and cried and i was so mortified about it, and for him, i couldn't so much as look at him for the whole weekend. the adults said, poor little chap, but i thought, we're not that little.

i feel that under most circumstances, anyone over the age of 5 who poops outside of a toilet is making a conscious decision to do so.

after that i became nervous every time they fed him.

Yeah, I would have to second that. (xpost)

I left my first passive aggressive note last week! It noted that my roommate had mistaken my turkish coffee for regular coffee by putting it in the regular coffee container, and she should probably not try to make it in a french press, but could use the regular coffee I'd left nearby on the counter. It also said her music taste sucks and she needs to clean more. I didn't see her until several days later, and when I did, she'd hung it on the fridge.

I still don't know if this is a passive agressive note or not, but it was really frakking weird:

I went to our local food co-op, and brought my own cloth bags, as well as purchasing one of theirs. While I was paying for my groceries, the bagger-girl placed a little square piece of paper sort of 'near' to me...I figured it must have fallen out of my wallet or something. I'm handed my groceries, vaguely noticing they used the new bag, and not mine. No biggie. As I'm walking away I look at the piece of paper. It was a handwritten note that read: "YOUR BAGS ARE DIRTY"

It was SO weird. Part of me was like, "Um, so what? I paid for the shit. they're my bags."...also, it made me think of the Mr Clean guy from the episode of Black Books, who wipes everything over with a white glove and whispers 'DIRTY' in Bernard's ear in a suggestive, semi sexual way. But...also, WHY the note? Why say anything? I wasn't buying an armload of loose fruit and vegetables. most of it was packaged, if memory serves.

Hippies are weird.

ugh. sorry for rabbitting on...the whole thing was just really really weird.

i was going to say i had no stories in this realm but then i remembered my parents' friends coming to stay when i was 9 and their 9 year old son pooped on our carpet about an hour after they arrived and then screamed and cried and i was so mortified about it, and for him, i couldn't so much as look at him for the whole weekend. the adults said, poor little chap, but i thought, we're not that little.

― estela, Wednesday, March 18, 2009 9:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!

Vege, that seems really weird -- unless maybe they don't like putting a dirty bag on the counter where everyone's food goes? But then...just wipe it with a cleaner & a rag?

who eats exposed food from the grocery store without cleaning it first, is my question

certain species of animals

deeznuts are dirty

yeah how dirty was this bag?

was it one of these:

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/papa.s-got-a-brand-new-roadbag/pocket-pee+bag-turns-urine-into-gel-and-friends-into-memories-274133.php

xp wow so does that girl have a bunch of little squares with this information pre-written to hand out should a dirty bag strike?? crazy

I may be a passive aggressive professional. :-( I did it recently to colleague who remained sitting at the table even though she could CLEARLY SEE THAT I WAS SETTING THE TABLE FOR MY KID & I to eat. "Would it be possible to clear the table, we'd like to eat." tone of voice: fuck off already. God I hate it when they do this shit.

Does the table only seat one and a half people?

No, Laurel, her things occupy about 80 procent of the table. It's antique laces, so would it be soiled, it'd lose it value. Also, I'm her superior and she always moved her things in the past. I don't like pointing out the obvious. And no, we don't have another table. Or there is: in her room upstairs.

What did you think, Laurel, that I like to flop myself on the table, Roman style, and eat away?

Maybe you should dock her wages until she learns some respect.

i am going to get fired if this threads keeps up this way

xpost Oh god no, we tend to use the leather strap here in Belgium. Much cheaper.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/3109895147_c220ff8ec4.jpg
left by my then-flatmate brother, who didn't want to clean up the cat sick. the cat is in the foreground, offended by the crassness of leaving such a message.

We got a note through our flat door, "please stop playing the drums, at 4 in the morning, on a sunday"

fair enough really, except we were'nt so much as playing them as a falling into them when drunk.

That fact might not be as reassuring to your neighbors as you'd like

i was going to say i had no stories in this realm but then i remembered my parents' friends coming to stay when i was 9 and their 9 year old son pooped on our carpet about an hour after they arrived and then screamed and cried and i was so mortified about it, and for him, i couldn't so much as look at him for the whole weekend. the adults said, poor little chap, but i thought, we're not that little.

― estela, Wednesday, March 18, 2009 9:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I remember having this response (as a child, obviously) to the way children then my age were portrayed on television, only poop was generally not involved.

Recently I noticed that the cloth grocery bag I bring to the store is dirty as well. I didn't really think anything of it, but hell, maybe I should. Am I supposed to put it in the washer with clothes?

I have done exactly that, and the bag was never as nice again after being laundered - it got those fuzzy bumps on it. :( I am going to get a note - "Your bag is FUZZY"

Your bagger is a MUTE

maybe the bagger was trying to hit on you?

"Your bag is DIRTY and so am I. . . DIRTY FOR YOU."

aw fuck xpost ruined my sextalk joke

go ahead make it, mine was lame

no wait as a mod you should delete my post and make with the funny

it was better than mine, is the thing

"Your bag is DIRTY. DIRTY, DIRTY bag. Let me... WASH it, for you.."

that is more clean talk, dan

I said Que's was better!

"Your BAG is DIRTY, but not as DIRTY as me"

or

"I bet your OTHER BAG is even DIRTIER than THIS ONE"

"I have a DIRTY BAG, too; wanna see?"

"we can clean them together!"

"YOUR BAG over MY HEAD"

what's happening

i'm befuddled

"YOUR BAG over MY HEAD"

― snoball, Thursday, March 19, 2009 5:24 PM

is it weird that i have a picture for this
http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v649/41/51/9801755/n9801755_32442017_411230.jpg

that ain't any bag of ours

like you've never puked in a bag

never puked in a bag with a pictorial demonstration of its usage on the side

peaced

xp country matters: you're missing out!

I've just checked out the website, and those bags are expensive - $1 each in quantities of 10, 25 cents when bought in quantities of 1000...

well if you are going to save your sick you might as well get the best bag available

http://www.sicksack.com/bags/bag-0808.jpg

i think that is a little garish.

the fact that half of the writing is always upside-down probably helps the nauseous fulfil their half of the sickbag contract

He looks so happy to have puked into a paper sack.

That expression is "what on earth did I eat to make it taste like that?"

I like that it's a "sick sick bag"

well sick sick bag, innit

world needs a seal-up sickbag marketing itself as a "sick bomb"

or "barf bomb" for north american audience.

many xposts: she was probably hitting on me and I totally missed my chance on a mute lesbian bagger with a dirty bag fetish.
"your bag is dirty"...all time classic pickup line.

dirty pillows etc

Actually I think the Coles store I go to I've seen some signs that say "consider your cashier - make sure your reusable bags are in a useable condition!" or something like that.

Its a bit hard to keep plain calico snow white tho, esp when yr shopping had a jar of sundried tomatoes that leaked tomato oil everywhere on it.

But I mean its not like people are bringing in calico bags full of vomit, or poo (just to get back to that topic again lololol)

exactly! I mean, my bags get scuffed up because of the rubber mat in the back of the car... but we wash them if they get too grotty. maybe the co-op's position is like an adoption agency...they want to interview you to see where you'll store the food, how you'll prepare it...if your receptacles are unsightly then that's the first step to a bad match?

bagger: "Your bag is dirty. We need to ask you a few questions about the conditions you're going to be storing this fruit once you get it home."
snoball: "Well, you know... I thought I'd just... LEAVE IT IN A SECOND HAND DOG BOWL TO ROT UNTIL IT BECOMES COMPOST BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

the sick-bag stickman from the hilarious XKCD comics

xpost to all the poop stories

There was a girl in my high school who shat in a sink in one of the girls bathrooms (at the school during school hours)
This was because she was very rich and snobby and always decked out in furs and subsequently always made fun of for this
and she wanted to prove that she could be some kind of cool rebel.
shitting in a sink did not give her cool rebel status, though
it really just made people think she was fucking crazy.

yeah it might have been easier just not to wear furs

this poor girl who lived in my dorm sophomore year had body image issues that led to overuse of laxatives that led to shit smeared all over the showers and toilet stalls

hindsight is 20 20 (xpost)

Just got a great PA note above the work sink: I humbly beg of you to please not use this sink like a restroom sink: Do not wash arms or blow nose in sink. (or something like that)

One of the OCDs dudes at work likes to wash his arms in the sink. Not sure what the nose-blowing complaint is about tho.

uh-oh, that note is just asking for sink-shitting.

is washing your hands okay? aren't sinks for washing things? wtf people

i don't understand that sign, at all -- i'm confused too. i think there needs more explanation as to what a "work sink" and a "restroom sink" are at yr place of employ?

WTF if you blowed your nose in my work sink I'd fucking hit you

blew. blew your nose. i iz a ingrish major.

schef, there's a break room with a sink, coffee pots, a fridge and other miscellany.

so does the writer of that note use restroom and home sinks to blow his nose in?

that strikes me as weird, as work sinks are usually used for more toxic shit than restroom sinks, unless the work sink is regularly used to "soak things" and the dirt and bodily solids cause problems with that use.

One small irony here is that the work sink used to back up in the mornings, before the person who probably wrote the note was hired. It was truly disgusting. Black muck, everywhere.

was someone putting coffee grounds in it?

No, there was a problem with the building sewer system. They installed a backup-prevention device on the drain, which has prevented the nasty since.

http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/9861/tempimage712.jpg

^^^insane person

"Blowing-cleaning your nose, washing face and arms can be done in the restroom in the lobby."
OK, I wish I could figure out what this reminds me of. Adam Thirlwell's "Politics", perhaps?

Our office kitchen has one of those cursed "yr mom doesn't work here" notes as well. Worst ever.

If you take a bath at home, you won't have to blow your nose at work!

Is it not traditional to blow one's nose into a tissue? And should security have to deal with employees taking sink baths in the lobby?

maybe he's using a neti pot?

wait, why shouldn't you wash up your arms/hands in a kitchen sink tho? if you've spilled on yourself at lunch do you have to then go to the, um, lobby and clean up?

i'm not addressing the nose blowing thing because that is utterly bizarre, who blows their nose into a sink??

I recommend you post a note humbly requesting that they STOP using the space above the kitchen sink as a bulletin board. Posting of paranoid aspie germaphobe rants can be done in their own cubicle.

wait, why shouldn't you wash up your arms/hands in a kitchen sink tho?

judging from the note I suspect someone (probably male) was washing their hands and face in the sink and while rinsing their face off exhaled through/blew their nose or something. cuz yeah seriously washing your face and hands in a sink = um duh

hard to imagine anyone going to a sink to projectile-spew boogers (which yeah is pretty gross but I guess is possible)

I choose to believe it's the note-writer who's batshit, and that some guy just blows his nose into a tissue in front of the sink and then washes his hands, including the forearms because he's a little bit of a clean freak. Note-writer thinks this is unhygenic for said batshit reasons.

I just don't get the nose-blowing part at all. I have never ever seen someone blowing their nose directly into the sink. People blow their noses on paper towels and the like in the kitchen and do not dispose of these towels in the sink, but in the trash can, as best I can tell. That's perfectly OK, innit? And I see absolutely nothing wrong with washing arms in the kitchen. I'm not gonna escalate, tho, not unless someone suggests a really funny one-liner I can put on a mini-sticky.

XP, I haven't seen combo face-washings/nose-blowings yet, but that's reasonable.

My face feels oily. Perhaps I need to wash it.

Our office kitchen has one of those cursed "yr mom doesn't work here" notes as well. Worst ever.

Oooo I HATE "Your mom doesn't work here" signs because you know what? Even if my mom did work there, it's NOT AUTOMATICALLY HER JOB TO CLEAN UP AFTER PEOPLE.

I have two inappropriate washing at work stories:

1. A clerk at a law firm where I worked washed her hair in the break room sink, although this is apocryphal as it happened before I started there.
2. I came across a guy washing his pants in the water fountain at work one day. I started using the water cooler for drinking water thereafter.

not unless someone suggests a really funny one-liner I can put on a mini-sticky

"does this mean no peeing in the sink either?"

I'm not gonna escalate, tho, not unless someone suggests a really funny one-liner

― plenty chong (libcrypt), Friday, March 20, 2009 7:04 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://i44.tinypic.com/15rmooi.jpg

btw i do blow my nose into the sink at home on occasion - using the hot water to clean off yr nose after is way more effective than a tissue and feels nice if yr all stuffed up

Note is GONE.

I remember singing in a concert at Princeton while in college; the onstage grand piano had TWO notes lying on top of it that said "Do not place ANYTHING on this piano!" I wrote "except for this note" on one of them and "except for this note and the other one" on the other.

and then what

that was the extent of my passive-aggression

I never said it was a very good story

Not really passive-aggressive, but the coffee pots have started to grow sticky notes containing this info:

1. Time and date of brew
2. Type of beans & roast
3. Drip setting (light, normal, or strong)

they actually stick to the coffee pot?

There was a gas station in lower michigan that we always stopped at during trips to Ann Arbor, and they always had flowers in the women's bathroom, and my friend would always take one of the flowers. Eventually the put up a sign that said "Please leave flowers for all the guests to enjoy", so she stole the flowers and the sign. I think they gave up after that.

My friend got this one this morning:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3597/3384175968_7bf9a00488_o.jpg

in a fortune cookie?

It looks like it, doesn't it? It was stuck to her door. She said she thinks she has new neighbours upstairs..

got a hilarious essay from some curtain twitching anonymous neighbour about leaving my recycling in the wrong place last month, but my favourite was a few years ago in a unisex work toilet saying in one big chunk "PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR PADS IN THE TOILETS IT IS DISGUTSING THERE IS A SANIE BIN PLEASE USE IT WHOEVER DONE IT KNOW THEMSELVES SIGN MADGE"

it was a fair point, though

used to respond to pass-agg uni housemate's notes by posting random ones saying "DON'T PISS IN THE FRIGGING SINK" and shit, which at the time I thought was funny

the fact that someone actually typed that out, although cute, makes me wonder how often they've distributed the same note out to other neighbours.

be more civilised

"Jocasta, will you please pass me the bottle of lubrication jelly?"
"Certainly Hubert, here you are!"
"Thank you very much, my dear!"

i got an anonymous note a few weeks back asking me to keep music down after 10pm. totally reasonable, just seemed a bit weird that the letter was anon so i don't know whether they're below, above or adjacent and it was written in a really elegant font and printed out as if they'd really thought about the presenation (may not count as pass-agg but still).

(xxpost) it's a standard template in MS Word

I suppose that is a little less awkward than having a 50-something neighbor knock on your door and request, "Next time you knockin' the boots, could you keep it down? You're scarin' the kids."

(xxxx-post)

xp I think my friend's boyfriend is thinking of investing in a monocle and top hat to up his civility

but will it make him quieter during the physical act of love?

http://www.southportforums.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=64522&stc=1

Is 5 minutes of bedsprings creaking REALLY too much to handle here peeps?

that's not noisy sex, that's noisy furniture

I will check in with the fellow's neighbours in a week or so and see if the lovemaking has quietened…

I used to have a noisy bed. IKEA no more! What a nightmare that was.

i use to kea but now ikea no more

make peace and quiet not love

jesus my upstairs neighbors sound like they're building a goddam railroad and i wouldn't even think to complain, pass-agg or not

dyslexic fans of Grand Funk Railroad

my ex next door neighbour used to have the squeaky bed syndrome, but i didn't dare complain because of the appalling rhythym that became apparent to anyone listening (ten seconds of fury, a minute of a break, repeated maybe twice). i didn't want him to see the pity in my eyes.

complaining about people fucking is almost always lame as hell

i'm a little concerned that i've never heard my downstairs neighbors bonin' in a year and a half. i mean, they just got engaged.

i hear them hanging out in the kitchen and watching movies sometimes, but maybe they just soundproofed the bedroom.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3597/3384175968_7bf9a00488_o.jpg

suggest reply

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v356/kenjuggle3/note.jpg

xp ken c: or conversely

"U Jealous!"

make peace and quiet not love

― Local Garda, Wednesday, 25 March 2009 15:47 (7 hours ago) Bookmark

LOL

on his birthday as well, what a day for the lad

ten seconds of fury, a minute of a break, repeated maybe twice

It takes me longer than that to brush my teeth

maybe they just soundproofed the bedroom

One word: ballgags

civilized love-making is a sad concept.

noise off because i have been known to pause smashing for the sake of changing the song on stereo

― 20 HOOS poppin steens on kawasakis (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 25 March 2009 23:09 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

I was going to say OMG LOL but then I remembered the time shuffle-play brought up Naked City during, so yeah, I know where that's at.

^^ thinking about John Zorn's orange camo pants is a real mood killer.

i find it a little creepy/weird that they referred to it as 'making love' and not just 'having sex'.

If I'd got a note like that I'd just start shouting "OH MY WORD! I SAY!" during the deed.

WHAT DO YOU THINK Y'R DOING, GOOD SIR????

I SEEM TO HAVE A SPOT OF SEMEN ON MY VISAGE, WOULD U BE A DEAR AND CLEAR IT OFF

OH PRITHEE

I SEEM TO HAVE A SPOT OF SEMEN ON MY VISAGE, WOULD U BE A DEAR AND CLEAR IT OFF

*dying here*

TALLY HO! (at the moment of climax)

A while ago I was dating a girl who lived in a house where the soundproofing between the flats wasn't very good, and we could often hear the couple in the neighbouring flat having loud sex. So we decided to have "revenge" on them by having really loud sex too, so they'd notice how thin the walls were. I guess they took the hint, because we didn't hear much sex noises after that.

Maybe this was passive aggressive fucking?

jesus that's sweet poetry

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n61/n307676.jpg

Tuomas!

My opinion is, if you didn't want to hear other people having sex, you should have had the drive and ambition in life to buy a fucking house.

a what house? we call them brothels

arf

TALLY HO! (at the moment of climax)

A guy I know from uni who once had sex with Simon Amstell he reported that when he climaxed, the young comedian cheered, "Jolly good for you!".

pretty civilised sodomy imo

"Well DONE" in the manner of Leslie Phillips wins all

Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Climax
Just let go of my leg

So we decided to have "revenge" on them by having really loud sex too, so they'd notice how thin the walls were. I guess they took the hint, because we didn't hear much sex noises after that.

returns from suggestbannage very much in character

... Meanwhile, the garbage wars are starting to heat up again in Montreal. Every few months someone on my street is sufficiently offended by someone else's ignorance of (or plain frustration with) Montreal's Byzantine waste collection policies and posts a variation on this handwritten note that typifies the paranoid, clumsy, mildly batshit side of public life in this city.

http://i42.tinypic.com/2lmw2sk.jpg

Please

To the person who is again putting out garbage outside the collection times. Be advised that a complaint has been made against you with the City of Montreal and that you are under surveillance. The fine is $175.

Please respect your neighbours.

A while ago I was dating a girl who lived in a house where the soundproofing between the flats wasn't very good, and we could often hear the couple in the neighbouring flat having loud sex. So we decided to have "revenge" on them by having really loud sex too, so they'd notice how thin the walls were. I guess they took the hint, because we didn't hear much sex noises after that.

Maybe this was passive aggressive fucking?

Welcome back, Tuomas.

What happened? I am confused.

Hahaha.

Personal Announcement - Posted on Wednesday, March 25th, 2009 by ____ _______

Someone took my jacket and I was cold.

Hello, I think someone took my jacket, which makes me sad, especially because I was very cold walking home. I left it on the wooden thing in the hallway outside of the bathrooms on the bottom floor of the library building, the space between the school store and the gallery. It is longish and navy blue with thin white stripes and zippers. When I exited the bathroom it was no longer there, and I live off campus in Northampton so the walk home was cold. If you've seen it or taken it, I would reeally appreciate it back. Thanks dudes -- email ______@___ or call ###-###-####

sent out in campus-wide email at my job

long way from aggressive though?

Jacket story is sad, i hope she gets it back.
Poor thing, walking home all sad and cold :(

That happened to me the other week, at a party. I was in love with the damn thing and had only had it for around 2 months. Someone actually took everything out of the pockets and left it on the ground, too.

including my ID

my boss left these at work haha

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/broom.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/vacuum.jpg

loll

What we need is a thread where passive-aggressive note-leavers live in squalor.

Who works somewhere where the staff have to use the brooms and vacuums, dont you have a cleaner come in?

lol u sound like someone who has never worked outside a corporate office before...

i've never worked a single job where the staff weren't obliged to do all of the cleaning

cleaning business (xpost)

I finally found that site two days ago and was up to 4am flipping thru it

What we need is a thread where passive-aggressive note-leavers live in squalor.

a lot of the time the people who leave these notes are massive slobs with massive blind spots wrt what scumbags they are themselves

shit i just stick a passive-aggressive reply to a note at the office..

sticked

stuck?

stucco

stucco out

clumsy effort, very clumsy indeed.

http://i39.tinypic.com/t537rm.jpg

jeez olo (not verified), chill out

lol u sound like someone who has never worked outside a corporate office before...

Actually now I think about it the chemists I worked in the prick made me do all the vacuuming. But no even in stores I've worked in there were cleaners at night, rather than the staff doing it. Obv it depends on the size of the biz.

OH COME ON RINGO
YOU DO NOT HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO

Peace and love forks, peace and love.

1. Ringo

Drummer of the Beatles
also to "not do much" as in:
"I'm taking a Ringo"
"When do you want me to wake you up?"

Ringo is the sexiest drummer ever
by anonymous Aug 21, 2003

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/7425/imageuploadimage.jpg

damn, seems that everything has to be kept in the refrigerator these days...

In life, she needed no such labelling.

You'd have thought that they could have put a lid on the jar. And she had a dairy allergy. I don't know, no respect for the dead...

lolololol that last pic

grandma + milk = ovaltine

Grandma + apple cider = spiced cider

so you can't blame them for labeling, see that's more like "helpful notes"

I wish ppl on ILX said things like "spread not your vile posting"

olo (not verified) OTM

fyi adopting that kind of register has been known to cause ructions

Rinnath and hgath, maegden-cilden!

hgath = hidath
(sorry, insult predates QWERTY keyboard by several hundred years)

I wish ppl on ILX said things like "spread not your vile posting"

olo (not verified) OTM

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Friday, May 8, 2009 9:32 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fyi adopting that kind of register has been known to cause ructions

― sorry for british (country matters), Friday, May 8, 2009 9:33 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lolololo

Currently posted in the copy room at work:

http://i43.tinypic.com/1vwc7.jpg

It's been there all week.

Thank!

or maybe Thanls?

Didn't even notice that. I think the box probably just has shitty handwriting.

just started watching the Channel 4 program Peep Show and it is chockfulla this stuff.

I've still never gotten around to watching Peep Show even though it's supposed to be really funny.

This story has been posted on our office fridge for the past month.

the box

I know!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/3045958899_59dddcd0ea.jpg

"So why didn't the cleaner get sick, too? It turns out she had allergies and had temporarily lost her sense of smell."
^bullshit.

Remind me to tell you sometime about the story where I tried to clean up puke with ammonia and bleach and caused an evacuation of about twenty girls basketball teams.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AMPkVlVIYUM/SL47TQM1_ZI/AAAAAAAACQA/DC7LicQz_8I/s400-R/passive+aggressive+towels.jpg

One of the biggest offenses of these is forcing inanimate objects into saying things they would never say, even if they could.

You should put up a notice that a team of top scientists are coming to investigate the miraculous discovery of a box with the capacity for written communication

"I want the right to choose where I live"

Thank you,

Kitchen Paper Towel

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1146/1436325018_b4b92badca_b.jpg

Know what monsters love to eat? Feces.

If you can't cook DON'T TRY

we must stop this dangerous expansion of kitchen towel "rights"

Or just a piece of paper that says

I AM A PIECE OF PAPER. HI, BOX! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A DRINK SOMETIME

Dear Kitchen Paper Towel,

You are an inantimate object, and you'll live wherever it is that I tell you to live.

Love,

God

I AM A PIECE OF PAPER. HI, BOX! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A DRINK SOMETIME

yeah, and then the next night leave a big box full of paper where the box is--i.e. the box and paper had sex and then had babies

And then another one on the box that says

OH, THAT WOULD BE FUN, BUT ... THIS IS AWKWARD ... I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW

oops, xpost

lolz

HA!

If you can't cook DON'T TRY

― pleased ass punch (braveclub), Friday, June 5, 2009 2:39 PM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark

That one is just mean. Clare, you sound like a real bitch.

If you can't write a nice note, SHUT THE FUCK UP

NEED SOME TIME ALONE TO BE BROKEN DOWN AND RECYCLED xxp

I bet if there's one thing that restroom hand towel hates more than being in the kitchen, it's being used as a post-it.

xxxp ppl going to a thanksgiving potluck should know the risks in advance imo

EXACTLY! Also if someone is going to take the time and make something for a potluck who cares if it's shitty? You don't have to eat it. It's nice that they put some effort in to begin with.

Clare!

If you can't fuck don't try sounds like a lil' boosie song

time it takes to write a passive aggresive note vs. time it take to break down a box for recycling

Kitchen Paper Towel clearly suffers from an eating disorder: hating kitchens and spending one's life in the bathroom ... not healthy.

Maybe Clare is hosting the potluck and has been stuck with uneaten crappy food before ...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1273/532687700_28b2fef080.jpg

x-post I don't care - it's still bitchy.

I'm pretty sure there's one of those "Your mamma don't live here wash your dishes" notes in the kitchen too.

I kinda admire Clare's bluntness. Definitely not a passive-aggressive note.

Maybe not so much P/A as just fucking insane:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/101/262501584_a8a2725653.jpg

they won with a little bobblehead?

xp ENBB - you're right, it's totally rude. There are much nicer ways of going about ensuring crappy food isn't brought to one's potluck.

xp it was inserted rectally

or possibly not xp

Not having a potluck.

^^^AMEN

if i want to eat mediocre food i will try cooking something new for myself thanks

xp You can always make suggestions to people as to what they should bring in a non-shitty way. Granted this takes more knowledge of the people invited, as well as communication skills.

"if you can't cook, don't worry"

one word changed & so much nicer

^ + "store bought items are always welcome" or something along those lines

It's really the phrasing that made it so bitchy.

"Gee, I wonder that Pleasant Plains will bring to my pot---" BAM! Package of SOLO cups to the head.

Congratulations on Your Teen Pregnancy cake?

I should have had some of those made up for the 500+ person event in support of funding for teen parent programs that I organized a couple months ago. lol.

hahah xp if you can't cook DON'T TRY best one on here imo

Home Cookery with Carcello Marlin

are we passive-aggressively not openly speaking of passiveaggressivenotes.com in this thread?

When I lived in Madrid, the apartment I moved into had a typed-up full page about cleaning duties that began "This flat does not possess self-cleaning..." (clumsy translation) and a chart with which roommates were to clean which room which week taped up on the fridge. But the guy who was on the lease never even changed it in the entire 9 months I lived there to replace the old roommate's name with mine, and the place was generally pretty filthy. He'd occasionally mop the kitchen or something, but when I'd ask if I should clean another room, he'd just say, "Nah, don't worry about it." Odd.

passive-aggressive notes with an irregular mixture of lower and upper case letters, e.g. please clean Up after yourselves as there is no One employed to do it For you, make me want to throw shit around.

xp these are the true classics, because they appear not only passive-aggressive, but the product of a psychotic individual barely holding it together.

Hi,

Who had healthy soup today?

Can you kindly put your tin in the bin please and not leave it on the work top in the kitchen.

Regards,

Zara

aggressive?

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/061809/dear-william.gif

I'm with you, estela: badly written or badly spelled p/a notes are fodder for my IGNORE bin. Or my DO THE OPPOSITE bin.

Schlump - that is awesome.

that plum one is adorable, i would like to print it out and hang it on my refrigerator.

I saw a note this morning on a flower pot - written from the pt of view of said pot - asking dog owners not to place bags of poop in it. It was pretty great but not necessarily passive aggressive.

The WCW one should have started "this is just to say that if you did not . . . "

I just came here to post the WCW one.

THIS MEANS YOU, WIlliam.

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/19/complaint-box-leash-wars/?hp

Listen, it’s not personal. I’m totally fine with you running a combo boot camp-yoga class in the park around the corner from my house. Not that I’m tempted to join the class. The idea of someone yelling, “Crawl faster,” while I scramble on all fours through grass that I know for a fact gets fertilized hourly by a gaggle of obese geese, holds zero appeal. But maybe that’s just me.

The problem is that you bring your dog to your class and you let him run off leash. That would still be O.K., except that when I ask you to please leash your dog because if you don’t my leashed dog will yank so hard he will dislocate my shoulder, you ignore me.

May I interrupt myself to point out that there is a new leash-free dog park not 10 minutes from the little park where you teach your class? I hear it’s very nice. I don’t go there myself, because my dog is not good off leash. Instead, I go to the pretty park near my house, with a duck pond and a weeping willow. A park where the law is that all dogs must be leashed. Except now you’re there, with your combo boot camp-yoga class and your romping off-leash dog, every week, except when it rains.

O.K., stop that right now. Stop looking at me with that superior expression. I know what that look means. You think people like me shouldn’t have dogs. You think I can’t control my dog. You think because I am not an alpha-woman-scary-boot-camp-exercise-teacher I have not managed to train my dog into submission as well as you’ve trained yours. That’s what you think, right?

Sorry, but that’s not it. I admit, your dog is probably very happy to entertain himself in the park while you yell at women to crawl faster. But that’s not because you’ve trained him better. It’s because he’s a Lab. Good job training your Lab to have a Lab personality. News alert: my dog is not your dog. My dog is a springer spaniel. And I suspect the reason my dog wants to spring at your off-leash dog has more to do with his springer-ness than with his training.

By the way, did you know I can leave my springer next to a platter of sausage and cheese and he won’t touch it? Steak, chicken, hot dogs — if it’s not in his bowl, he’ll ignore it. Same for your Lab? No? Might want to work on that.

The point is, your dog and my dog are different, but we still have to share the world. So please, if you don’t want to leave your dog at home with a bag of hot dogs to munch on, leash him. And stop telling me your dog isn’t bothering me. He is, and so are you.

Nancy Star lives in northern New Jersey, is the author of the novel “Carpool Diem” (5 Spot, 2008) and is the drummer for Gay Mom.

Send your screeds, tirades and rants — no more than 500 words, please — to: metropoli✧✧✧@nyti✧✧✧.c✧✧.

wow

That is not passive-aggressive.

no, but the my-dog/your-dog drama is off the charts batshit

How else would you describe the paragraphs where she attributes imaginary responses and behaviours to the woman she is indirectly addressing?

BUSY BEE! BUSY BEE!

Strictly speaking most of these notes aren't textbook passive-aggressive. Maybe somebody should pedantically point that out.

By the way, did you know I can leave my springer next to a platter of sausage and cheese and he won’t touch it? Steak, chicken, hot dogs — if it’s not in his bowl, he’ll ignore it. Same for your Lab? No? Might want to work on that.

lol

xp Yeah most of them are indicative of something even worse to deal with. Narcissism, paranoid delusions, etc etc

By the way, did you know I can leave my springer next to a platter of sausage and cheese and he won’t touch it? Steak, chicken, hot dogs — if it’s not in his bowl, he’ll ignore it. Same for your Lab? No? Might want to work on that.

This bit has the same feel as "Just a few slices of apple, servant. How delicious."

LOL

"Listen, it’s not personal. I’m totally fine with you running a combo boot camp-yoga class in the park around the corner from my house. Not that I’m tempted to join the class. The idea of someone yelling, “Crawl faster,” while I scramble on all fours through grass that I know for a fact gets fertilized hourly by a gaggle of obese geese, holds zero appeal. But maybe that’s just me." <--TOTALLY passive aggressive

also the accompanying image is killing me as it really gets to the heart of the matter:
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/06/21/nyregion/21complaint.480b.jpg

There's a doctor's office in my neighborhood that has an especially long wheelchair ramp that has a sign that says

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM LETTING YOUR CHILDREN PLAY ON THE RAMP. THIS IS A DOCTOR'S OFFICE NOT A JUNGLE GYM

I would never take my kids to a doctor who was such a fucking dickhead.

Like, the first sentence is totally acceptable and understandable and appropriate, but he adds the second sentence just to prove he's a total jagoff or something.

I doubt he's aware of why that's a jagoff thing to say, or write on a sign. Passive-aggressive people usually have no idea what the term even means.

*ahem* not that I would know

I'm with the doctor on this one.

It's not that he's wrong.

I think any note that says THIS IS A (SERIOUS PLACE) NOT A (FUN PLACE/YOUR MOTHER'S) is a pretty ratty way of being p/a.

NOTICE: I am awesome and you are not. Please don't subject me to your trifling "children". PS I am a huge fucking asshole.

Here's a message for my g/f right now

"Hey,

I wanted to thank you for keeping my observational skills sharp, and keeping me focused on the weekend. I appreciate the way that you don't spoonfeed me the answers, instead giving me clues that something is wrong so that I have to ask rather than you just opening up and telling me. I don't mind that after I spend hundreds of dollars on you this week that you decided to be distant - that's your choice!"

Again -- not really passive aggressive. Just facetious and very pissy.

P/A behavior is much more manipulative, or tries harder, anyway.

which is why what I actually said to her was something completely different. and direct. Because in the end, I really don't like to play games.

Now I'm sitting here waiting for a talk that may make me want to burn down buildings in four hours.

Try to spare your own, if you can. That's just not evolutionarily sound, burning down your own shelter.

. . .

Joeks! What?

sorry just tend to be somewhat powderkeggy when I sit and wonder if a relationship I've poured a lot of effort into might evaporate for no apparent reason in the next hour or two....or maybe I'll be lucky this time.

Nothing pisses me off more than the silent treatment. All it takes is "I'm upset but I'm processing it, I'll be ready to talk about it later today or tomorrow." That would be cool! But nooooooo, they'd rather put you through some devotion-test, like "do you love me enough to put up with the sulks?" Fuck you, bitch, and fuck your parents for making you that way.

Ahem. Sorry, carry on.

I have had to learn to give notice before I disappear.

yea silent treatment, especially in the technology age, is unfair, and sends mixed messages. like if you are TEXTING and not talking...and you don't reply for a while to a text, one could assume the text was lost.

I did it once to a friend and she got the message but I realize it made her more upset than was fair - it was a tiny thing she did and I had her concerned for three days.

Meanwhile, I paid $600 for a dollar not too long ago (back at another time where I thought I'd be breaking up and figured I'd have a lot of freetime to jam)...maybe I should play my blues away while I wait FOR MY G/F TO BE READY TO CALL AND TALK TO ME NOW!

This amp rules...Line 6 is the shit.

Pouring a lot of money into relationship does not = "pouring a lot of effort" into it, FYI.

Ahh, nice job being presumptuous. Of course by making the comment about the money earlier in the thread, I was obviously linking the two.

For the first 60% of the relationship's duration, I gave more of myself to my girlfriend than she gave to me, for reasons I understood having to do with her last relationship. Rather than demand more or give up, I waited patiently for her, and then she eventually opened up.

The early stages were rocky and I was given several circumstances where she gave me an opportunity to leave without guilt, but I never did because I always had a feeling it would work and kept working at it.

I never even took her for granted...I always woke up with a feeling that I was lucky to have her and treated her that way. Even after I caught mono shortly after we became official, I still made an effort to spend quality time with her whilst making sure to follow care not to get her infected and get enough rest at the same time.

So don't lecture me on the topic. My first comment was more born out of frustration - my spending of money is not 'conditional' in the least. With that said, when you spend money you earned largely in part due to a grueling/frustrating six month project on someone, and this person becomes extremely distant and you start to think they're having second thoughts about the whole thing...it can be frustrating, no?

to clarify my last sentence, I should have said "wouldn't it be frustrating if they are feeling this way and not being forthright about it?"

um, can we not destroy this lovely lovely thread please?

News Alert! = not as obnoxious as personifying inanimate objects, but definitely douchetarded.

passive aggressive image connections:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/06/21/nyregion/21complaint.480b.jpg

http://newhumanist.org.uk/images/Le_D%C3%A9jeuner_sur_l%27herbe.jpg

Newsagents who post signs that say 'this is not a library'. The ones who actually say this when a prospective customer is looking at a magazine deserve every 'wait, really? you mean I won't need a library card, then?' they've ever gotten.

I find that setting an example works better. If your dirty roommate sees you cleaning the toilet a lot, maybe they will learn.

Unfortunately, that is false. Your dirty roommate will just be amazed that the house starts becoming magically clean.

Last man I lived with was fond of 'I was just about to do that' when I would attend to an item of housework he'd procrastinated with.

Newsagents who post signs that say 'this is not a library'. The ones who actually say this when a prospective customer is looking at a magazine deserve every 'wait, really? you mean I won't need a library card, then?' they've ever gotten.

― bad hijab (suzy), Monday, June 22, 2009 4:54 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i'd like to sneak a sign like that into an actual library

they probably just really like MJ Hibbett

"i was just about to do that"
man, i could fucking kill on this one...

they probably just really like MJ Hibbett

Actual lols from me, stony silence from rest of thread who have no idea what you're on about.

"i was just about to do that"
man, i could fucking kill on this one...

― probably gets busy with larper chicks or somefin' (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 June 2009 16:38 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I would probably be killed on this one.

My wife is very, very good at isolating the moment when I've decided to stop being lazy and am getting up to do something to come nag me about doing that precise thing. It is really fucking irritating.

Do you get really huffy, like, "I was just GOING TO, gawd."

Of course!

I mean, what's the point in getting annoyed by it otherwise

im so scared of becoming the nagging wife i dont say anything and then when i get mad were in i cant read your mind territory. this doesnt happen much anymore though. somehow weve reached a very nice chore balance that doesnt run on any strict rules and very little discussion.

If you posted your nags here, knowing he would read them, that would probably serve all p/a purposes.

we used to have a bartender that would ask innocently "did you want to tip me out?" when people tried to duck them.

I only got it once cuz she missed the money I left for her on the table...

true but he calls me out on my PA so I dont think there would much fun in it for me

xp

when it comes to not tipping bartenders id be more concerned about pee in my next drink than gentle pa reminders

Maria is correct about example-setting not really working 99% of the time.

I should have clarified, I mean she would say it to her fellow employees as it was required....

ah gotcha. i watched one of those 'most shocking moments caught on tape part16' shows on fox reality channel last night where guys were peeing in just about everything available for human consumption so its been on my mind.

Language is the worst thing in the world.

I ask Sunny, "Would it help if I took down the chandelier and dusted it?" and she answers by saying "If you would like to."

A.) Her reply does not answer my question. B.) It makes me feel all Vince Vaughn-like where I think "Why the hell would anyone like to climb a ladder, dismantle a chandelier and dust it?"

My two-pronged solution to this problem is A.) Accept every "If you would like to" answer as a "yes". and B.) Don't ask about the fucking chandelier in the first place.

where i come from its not polite to outright accept an offer of help. i need to become more american.

c) Decide to understand that she's being gracious, and if yr going to offer, you should then be able to do the chore in a spirit of helpfulness and love for her knowing it'll make her happier to have it done.

I mean come on.

btw our many chandeliers need dusting so if you would like to...

xxp

where sunny may be coming from = don't ask, just do

this gets tricky when your decisions prove unpopular but who's not up for someone else doing a little chandelier dusting?

We need to hire Laurel as our communications intermediary

Then u can make lots of bad jokes like "I'd dust HER chandelier" a la the Wd Smooshes thread.

I'm glad Laurel recognizes that the challenges faced in mine and Sunny's marriage results from my wife's inability to communicate.

Besides, chandelier dusting is women's work.

true^^^

(j/k honey if u are readin')

^^ Need some Midol?

arguments over dusting the chandelier = white people problems to the maxx

euphemism alert

quiddities and agonies of the ruling class - a rolling new york times thread

do you have a problem with fish tacos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mf58Yndjsw

wtf we don't even have a chandelier

(j/k honey if u are readin')

;)

where I come from, having a chandelier = U RICH DEWD!!!

had the same problem the plainses had but in my case it was the grand piano. it got so dusty i just moved it into the solarium so I wouldn't have to look at it

I just redecorate the whole wing whenever the furnishings begin to show dust. At the going price for good domestic help, it's cheaper that way.

nice tip

Well it's over now. And reading the message that I said I wanted to write to my g/f now above...seems so angry and mean spirited. Glad I didn't. What I really wish is that I could still call her my g/f now.

*sigh*.

: (

what have you guys done with lolz

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3593/3588036998_9a6b1b7a52_m.jpg

ouch

that is amazing but not really PA

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3352/3492007361_6181ccc7b9.jpg?v=0

why put a coach bag in the fridge?

I don't know but that's not right -- if you keep buying something and someone else keeps using it w/o permission, you're allowed to be pissed about it. I don't know why a note and not just saying something but jeez.

i think it has something to do with the spitting part

the heart is killing me

I wrote "EAT THIS AND DIE, SHITHEAD" on some ice cream once.

allowed to be pissed about it

by the look of the small jar behind the bottle of dressing, someone took that advice literally...

I wrote "EAT THIS AND DIE, SHITHEAD" on some ice cream once.

and then you ate it, right?

see I never touch other ppl's food but I would consider eating the ice cream and writing "guess what? I didn't die" in response

I never heard of Perks until my girlfriend told me it was one of her favorite books in high school. I think it's basically unknown to anyone over 30, though.

Dan, you are not one of my cokehead bartender roommates bringing people home w them at 5am and then somehow mysteriously everyone else's food disappears...up to and including leftovers and things like calzones that could have a few bites taken out and then be put back in the fridge. So not kidding.

(oops wrong thread)

what the

okay I understand better where you are coming from now, although my response would be to leave food boobytrapped with laxatives in the fridge and switch my diet to all dried/pre-packaged foods until their colons taught them the errors of their ways

A relative told me of how she intentionally made a cake with laxative chocolate for the office cake thieves to steal

my response would be to leave food boobytrapped with laxatives in the fridge and switch my diet to all dried/pre-packaged foods until their colons taught them the errors of their ways

^^^now THAT'S passive aggressive

*bows*
*ribbons*

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3372/3448296202_7d3eca7c31_m.jpg

I can't tell if that's passive aggressive or ironic

i wasn't aware a baguette could absorb a sharpie

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3374/3419897451_2febd85f8c.jpg?v=0

are we passive-aggressively not openly speaking of passiveaggressivenotes.com in this thread?

― s1ocki, Saturday, June 6, 2009 11:51 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i mean take a screen shot but crop out the top part!?

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3587/3342183750_21b66ab695.jpg?v=0

that's a shop

where sunny may be coming from = don't ask, just do

THIS, guize, come onnnnnn. Oh and what Suzy said about hating the "Oh I was about to do that" when I pick up the pile of recycling or whatever, I just say "oh right cool thanks!" and turn and hand it to him. Er... them. Whoever it may be. Just sayin.

you and suzy live together?

No... I just write confusingly-structured sentences.

suzy is a him?

The him is my bf! I was speaking about what she'd said in general terms... I told you it was confusingly worded.

your bf is a she?

Passive aggresive Trayce kills you all.

I bet it's because it's a large print edition.

What a disaster for you all

re the whole "i'm praying for you" line -- which is pretty varsity level passive-aggressiveness -- i wish i had a photo of the "prayer list" one of the christian groups on campus put out, i think maybe my sophomore year. i was singled out for a prayer because i'd written some snide shit on the dorm-door message board of the guy who ran the outfit. they were praying for me to find the light within my soul or something.

i think it's a little sad that Jordan S. predicted and then reported his break-up on this thread and basically nobody even noticed :/

Someone did.

"I was just about to do that" is especially infuriating when the speaker is just sort of laying on the couch, zoned out, doing nothing but surfing two different types of media, or studying their toes. My dad was the past champ of doing this; it got to the point where my mom would stop what she was doing and hand him the kitchen sponge/rake/snow shovel and then say 'be my guest'.

I say "I was just about to do that" a lot, and mean it! Granted, I'm often sitting in a state of catlike readiness, and was just about to about fifty things.

Passive-Aggressive Vegan Grocery Cashier:
A Day in the Life

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/18gray.html