ULTIMATE: Dogs vs. Cats

i just don't know if i can vote

I predict cats in landslide ILX shocka

This is going to be brutal. I predict 5 SB's by dawn

as a lifelong cat owner, anyone who doesn't vote dogs is retarded

huh??

do you not like your kitty?

Cats are better. Dogs arguably do have more personality, but if I want personality I'll find a person. Pets should look pretty and not bother me too much.

That dog video doesn't load.

i love my dang cats u fucken savage, but dogs are just objectively better

nothing is objective in this world, doll

The sarcastic clapping is the best part

Dogs and cats are equally awesome and I resent that this poll does not offer this voting option.

^^^^

Please note that as I hit submit my cat just made the "gonna vomit" meow and did so in the living room.

But on the other hand does not require that I take her out for a walk in the bitter cold + ice.

I vote dogs. They can even be charming while running into walls (as evidenced by the video linked above)! Oh...I'm allergic to cats, too. :/

xp

I had to vote for cats. Dogs are lovely, amazing companions but so much work. You may as well have a kid.

Dogs and cats are equally awesome and I resent that this poll does not offer this voting option.

― quincie, Monday, March 2, 2009 9:51 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

Don't spend the rest of your life fearing commitment.

The real question here is - which animal enjoys licking its own asshole more?

It's a tie.

That dog video doesn't load.

― Benjamin Motherfucking Franklin (Oilyrags), Monday, March 2, 2009 9:47 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark

Try this link.

if it's your dogs they're awesome. if it's the goddamn cletus ass neighbors dogs barkin all the fuckin time that's another q. the neighbors cats on the other hand you can go your whole life without knowing they exist. invisibility is the finest of all superpowers, hence, cats.

dogs like you back, cats just use you and then scratch you before they leave you for good.

my neighbors have like the perfect dog. (these are the beautiful neighbors)

so when i see them walk the dog i think it's very cute but i also get a slight gag reflex

Much better, brights. Thanks. The dog video is funnier, if that's what we're voting on.

dogs do not actually like you back but try telling that to dog owners who can prove dog affection with science

I think the low-maintenance feature of cat-ownership pushes nudges me over the line, though. Dogs are more loyal as companions, sure, and there is a lot to be said for that, but jeez what a hassle for the traveling man (or woman).

As far as this cats-having-less-personality nonsense goes, my two cats have enough various idiosyncrasies & hilarious nervous quirks (making my apartment life a perpetual mismatched-buddy sitcom) to lay waste to said theory. Not that dogs don't have personality, mind you. It's just, you know, different.

on the other hand wild dogs are way more badass than feral cats

Dog love is unconditional, so no, they don't technically love you back. They simply love you whether you love them or not.

Cats are going to win but the correct answer is dogs.

not-goodwin otm

side poll: kittens vs. puppies. I'd have to go with puppies on that one.

PUPPIES definitely.

generally a dog person, but currently have a cat and adore him to bits. so i'm split.

Go with dogs. They're the ones who will most likely need your support amongst this crowd.

haha quite the politician!

The correct answer is:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3292/3083553738_b60c3d524c.jpg?v=0

dogs like you back, cats just use you and then scratch you before they leave you for good.

I have a cat who really really REALLY loves people. As far as I'm aware, she has never attempted to bite a person (and she's afraid of NO people).

fyi, in puppies v kittens, deffo kittens.

went with dogs. i'm sorry logan, nothing personal.

basically ppl who pick cats hate ppl

In my experience with both cats and dogs, the cats are every bit as affectionate and attached as the doggies. I <3 them both, but only a cat can fit into our life at the moment.

As best I can tell puppies require as much time and effort as human infants, therefore <<<<<< KITTENS

nothing wrong with hating ppl
xpost

Gukbe, I fear for your safety if your cat finds out about this.

picking cats also means u hate ureself

Logan the cat is currently curled up in a ball across the room. He is clueless at the moment, but when he wakes me up in 4 hours he'll have his vengeance.

xpost

http://s3.amazonaws.com/giflix/gifs/m4xfhgy7ogrv.gif?AWSAccessKeyId=0NEMFYTS5VQ806HF9CR2&Expires=1236052387&Signature=%2BJ7Jj%2B%2BdDXNfgYgHZ%2BsXYZ0tfU4%3D

I just spent a few minutes playing tugawar with my neighbor's sweet lil pitbitch. It was awesome.

I would also be remiss if I didn't point out the word ultimate contains the word "mutt" but not any word related to cats. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN PLAIN SIGHT PEOPLE!

CATS CATS CATS CATS.

Dogs are stupid, stinky killing machines.

agreed. cats are also stupid, stinky killing machines but they are hilarious and you don't have to walk them.

They simply love you whether you love them or not.

― Benjamin Motherfucking Franklin (Oilyrags), Tuesday, 3 March 2009 03:08 (13 hours ago) Bookmark

i think i might cry at this :(

I'm not going to pick, but I'd like to point out that neighborhood cats can be just as annoying as neighborhood dogs, especially in the realms of Killing Birds at your Feeder and Using your Garden as a Litterbox.

anyone who doesn't vote dogs is retarded

― s1ocki kong country (cankles), Tuesday, 3 March 2009 02:46 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You know what's more retarded than dogs OR cats? Troll bait.

anyone who doesn't vote dogs is retarded

― s1ocki kong country (cankles), Tuesday, 3 March 2009 02:46 (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― noby noby king boy pato (cozwn), Tuesday, March 3, 2009 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dogs are stupid, stinky killing machines. - Perhaps you've never observed the sheer relish with which cats (yes, even your beloved kitties) will torture, maim and kill any number of small helpless creatures, sometimes for food, but mostly just for amusement.

Ah, I don't really care about that. What I really meant was that dogs kill humans, i.e. they are perfectly capable of killing me, and probably would, too. However, I highly doubt that any cat could.

Also, dogs be ugly. I've lost count of the number of times ilxors have posted pictures of these freakish things with mutated squashy faces and claimed them to be 'cute'. There is about 1% of all dog-kind that could feasibly be described in such a way.

"What I really meant was that dogs kill humans, i.e. they are perfectly capable of killing me, and probably would, too."

Uh probably not.

has noone else pointed out the previous noise board poll? DOGS VS. CATS

i kinda want this one to have the exact same result just because of how hilarious that would be

Cats are better. Dogs arguably do have more personality, but if I want personality I'll find a person. Pets should look pretty and not bother me too much.

― chap, Monday, March 2, 2009 9:47 PM (Yesterday)

chap all over the money recently

i mean i couldnt choose between MY cats (i have 3) and MY dog (one), but A cat vs A dog it's obviously cats come on

> . I've lost count of the number of times ilxors have posted pictures of these freakish things with mutated squashy faces and claimed them to be 'cute'.

That's my cue, right?

cat killed a pretty bird and brought it into the house this morning. retaliation for going for the dogs, i suspect.

Cat lovers do not hate people nor do they hate themselves, gah. Quite the contrary: cat lovers love themselves inordinately.

This is a) why we don't need a superaffectionate pet to help fill the gap and b) why we choose a sensible low-maintenance pet. Not having to walk and scoop and whatnot frees me up to focus on the myriad other things that are important to ME ME ME because it is all about ME. The cats require little from me, and I require little from them; everybody's happy.

http://i454.photobucket.com/albums/qq268/UptownBirds/Far%20side/CatFarSide.jpg

Those are the only two choices?

what do i care about the purring of one who cannot love, like the cat?

An argument this heated needs more retarded photos:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3080/3208202262_4aba85bd14_o.jpg

ACTION CATS!

love both, but ultimately I am a cat person. I can get on their wavelength better than dogs'

Kingfish that picture is awesome.

Also, dogs be ugly. I've lost count of the number of times ilxors have posted pictures of these freakish things with mutated squashy faces and claimed them to be 'cute'. There is about 1% of all dog-kind that could feasibly be described in such a way.

See, I happen to love exactly those types of dogs and think there's nothing cuter.

Cats on the other hand are cold and calculating and they poo inside. Gross. They're not cute either.

I hope you mean "inside the house" otherwise yr cat needs to go the vet NOW

And they're creepy. I hate the way they slink around and stalk shit. It's weird and unsettling.

lol x-post

being allergic to cat fur is some olympic bullshit

"What I really meant was that dogs kill humans, i.e. they are perfectly capable of killing me, and probably would, too."

― emil.y, Tuesday, 3 March 2009 19:21 (2 hours ago) Bookmark

i hope you are joking?

man's closest enemy

i was scared of dogs when i was a kid, but then i grew tha fuck up

I'm allergic to cats but <3 them anyway

yeah i'm forgiving

"being allergic to cat fur is some olympic bullshit"

So you think people are faking it?

Cats on the other hand are cold and calculating

They're certainly not cold - cats are actually very friendly and loving, they just don't feel the need to jump up and down on you with slathering jaws to prove this.

I wouldn't really say they were calculating, either. While they're certainly cleverer than dogs, they aren't really the super genius creature that will take over the world that people seem to think they are. They're just, uh, quieter than dogs.

they poo inside

I too am assuming you mean 'inside the house' here. And they don't after the first couple of months or so. Unless you keep an indoor cat, which is horribly cruel.

i hope you are joking?

Not at all. People who let dogs off the lead might as well be shooting guns in the air and saying 'oh no, it won't hit anyone, honest'. Dogs can KILL YOU.

(I do realise the fact that some people see this as a positive thing about dogs - i.e. they can protect you and keep the house safe etc, but to me it is sheer lunacy)

i saved a cat and she is happy indoors she tells me so thankyou. also you shouldnt be so scared of dogs.

like anything can KILL YOU but it prob wont so dont worry about it

To be honest I don't actually hate cats. I'm just unfamiliar with them and they do freak me out. Plus, I have had dogs my whole life.

Most people I know have indoor cats? Isn't that the norm?

I feel bad for you emil.y - you seem so scared of dogs. I know some can be mean etc. but most aren't. Did you have a bad experience with one once?

also i walk my cat on a leash

Dogs can KILL YOU.

http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images18/ChihuahuaViansBigMacAttackMac3.JPG

"Not at all. People who let dogs off the lead might as well be shooting guns in the air and saying 'oh no, it won't hit anyone, honest'. Dogs can KILL YOU."

Cars can kill me too, but I still cross the street. The chances of getting killed by a dog are less than that.

what if it's a dog driving a car

lol

x-posts

In my vagina two times he bite me.

Nah, no bad experience really, aside from being growled at. Our family actually had a dog when I was younger. It honestly is not an irrational fear - they actually can kill you. I suppose I shouldn't blame the dogs for being creatures with this capacity, as there are indeed lots of other things that can kill you (but I'm scared of them, too! Cars, diseases, falling pianos, etc etc). It's more that I'm unlikely to prefer a pet that might one day rip my throat out.

ridiculously long xpost, sorry.

How often do you think dogs turn on their owners??!?!

Seriously maybe if you beat the shit of a dog and starved the hell out it then maybe this is something that I can see being concerned about. Otherwise pfft this is like being worried about being struck by lightning. Or not having a child because they might try and kill you.

Cat vs. Turtle!

what if it's a dog driving a car - hey now..

http://wiredblogs.typepad.com/cars/toonces2.jpg

The dogs I've had in my life I'm convinced would fight a bear for me. The cats I've had would sit and watch all sinister like.

DOGS, no question.

Cats x infinity billion.

some serious o_O on this thread, but I guess that's what it's for

i hope you are joking?

Not at all. People who let dogs off the lead might as well be shooting guns in the air and saying 'oh no, it won't hit anyone, honest'. Dogs can KILL YOU.

― emil.y, Tuesday, 3 March 2009 22:08 (41 minutes ago) Bookmark

Ha, WTF!

Are you a politician or something, because no normal person thinks like that?

People like you can’t be reasoned with, it’s like your a Christian in the beliefs that all dogs kill and that’s all there is to it.

So you think people are faking it?

― Alex in SF, Tuesday, 3 March 2009 22:07 (48 minutes ago)

ha ha no i think and know that it sucks

Um, no, I don't believe all dogs kill (humans). I believe that all dogs have the capacity to kill. Which they do.

xpost, obviously.

Not at all. People who let dogs off the lead might as well be shooting guns in the air and saying 'oh no, it won't hit anyone, honest'. Dogs can KILL YOU.

itt: a display of ignorance wrt the workings of guns and dogs

chihuahuas?

Like little loaded mexican guns they are.

How often do you think dogs turn on their owners??!?!

― Alex in SF, Tuesday, 3 March 2009 22:21 (33 minutes ago) Bookmark

Actually the number times are quite high Alex, sometime more than twice a day.
All dogs have been known to turn on their backs for a belly rub, it’s a frightening statistic.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Could_a_chihuahua_kill_a_midget

http://boingboing.net/images/298476427_cf259ba441_o.jpg

xpost: I would not want to watch a midget get killed by lice

also emil.y, cats have the capacity to kill, it'd take a while and sting like mad, but they could kill you.

Think about that!

I imagine that it would have to be like that scene in Suspiria, just instead of razor wire you'd fall into a pit of kittens and be slashed to death with their little paws. What a way to go.

Unless you keep an indoor cat, which is horribly cruel.

^ that is really stupid to say

my mom's (reluctantly) adopted chihuahuah is seriously the worst animal i've ever been around. i doubt it could kill anything human outside of a small child, but fuck me if it wouldn't try.

so do you blame that on the dog or on those who raised it?

hard to say. i was sort of kidding suggesting that it's overly-aggressive. it's terrified of everyone/thing - especially men - but it's constant state of terror which manifests as a consistent, eardrum-piercing bark half the time and a wretched whimper/growl the other coupled with bared teeth is a little disconcerting. it's very protective of my mom and has slowly come around to my dad, since he's the only one to feed the dog when she's out.

i don't know the people from whom she adopted it at all (the kid had to to go to St. Jude to be treated for cancer), but moms doesn't get the sense that these folks would have abused the dog at all. i really do think it's just a shitty animal. i mean i sort of feel sorry for it, but it really is incredibly hard to be around.

chihuahas are miserable little monsters

They tend to be kind of yippy.

Abbie Hoffman was a chihuahua

Chihuahuas have little man syndrome, it's not just for humans you know.

I'm a short dude and I have never, to my knowledge, lost my shit to the point where I was biting women in their vaginas.

Your sex life sounds really boring.

Where's that tempted-by-cupcakes picture? That's what this thread needs!

I'm a short dude and I have never, to my knowledge, lost my shit to the point where I was biting women in their vaginas.

― Wes HI DEREson (HI DERE), Wednesday, 4 March 2009 00:06 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

Give it time, it's in you, it just needs the right word to situation to bring it out.

Thanks, batmeh!

Best part of Dan's post is "to my knowledge." Party on, dude!

dogs have this going for them: their "give me food" behavior is so evolved that their owners come to believe that what they're seeing somehow equates to "personality"

they just - they pinch!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2225/2715799543_97a10662fd.jpg

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2007/04/05/dogsplayingpool460.jpg

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y258/wobblie/im_DogsPlayingPoker.jpg

Fuck a lolcat, the world of fine art is all about the DAWGZ

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/102/295090373_a8611e7160.jpg

http://img.skitch.com/20090304-rmf9b39ew1km5jnq7a3x539wym.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3170/2539373368_ac5e958db6.jpg

dogs have this going for them: their "give me food" behavior is so evolved that their owners relatives come to believe that what they're seeing somehow equates to "personality"

― Cindy Sherman I'm Your #1 Fan (J0hn D.), Tuesday, March 3, 2009 6:20 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

why all this needless bloodshed? dogs and cats are both great.

er, HUMANS have this etc...

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/28/43878072_9b440a24af.jpg

http://www.bilerico.com/2008/11/funny-cat.jpg

og awesome picture

http://www.spatch.net/cattown/

I love that pug that cowzn posted so much. He's particularly cute in his little sweater.

http://www.randomplayground.net/longcat/longcat_is_long.jpg

yeah i would vote specifically for him if i could xpost

but no! CATS!!

gah click here for actual size xpost

http://www.randomplayground.net/longcat/longcat_is_long.jpg

http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2008/9/66-awesome-cat-poster.jpg

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/dayart/20080427/450APTOPIX_Philippines_Dog_Show_XAF107_413204527042008.jpg

I was trying to think of a funny name for this dog that would sound something like Michael Phelps, but then I remembered that Michael Phelps isn't a scuba diver. :/

"Let's do this, you son of a bitches!"

http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG

ts: obese cats vs obese dogs

vs the 25 lb fucking panther named 'Big Jake' that fucking scratched me good on sunday when I was showing him to potential adopters at the Humane Society

http://www.oregonhumane.org/images/sb_animals/21850.jpg

sits in his oversized litter box all day, he does

Cats are cool, but dogs are cooler.

Based on the ones in my neighborhood: Dogs are helpless herd droolers that bark all night when their owners go to sleep or all day and all night when they aren't home for more than .5 seconds. Cats are independent thread winners. :-)

Unless you keep an indoor cat, which is horribly cruel.

why do people think having indoor cats is cruel? every vet/dude at a shelter that has ever mentioned this to me has said that you SHOULD keep them indoors so that they don't get run over/into fights/FIV/whatever.

I have an indoor cat and he basically has the best life ever.

this poll is the toughest since 2pac vs. biggie for me.

that is a badass cat, kf

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

I think this could be a big win for cats.

the other day one of my classmates told the story of her 4 year old son going to hug their calm and sweet dog. the dog all of a sudden snapped and took a chunk out of the kids face.
don't vote dog

I love dogs, and had dogs as I was growing up. Em and I want a Tibetan terrier one day, when we have a garden. But for now... Cosmo & Bob.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3120/3186571299_b92e27f9d9.jpg

ridiculous reasoning xp

my favorite creature ever (including humans) is my late dog Taz
http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/91/l_d4520cb7724d3d7628e2b920f75c0039.jpg
but most dogs don't live up to his greatness
http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/118/l_ae98c84da3bb89695de8cf401e9a5f91.jpg
^ one of my cats, Calvin
cats are 99% of the time cute

xxpost: that is a terrific photo, SM.

I know it's ridiculous reasoning, I just want cats to win.
Still, I've had some scary moments involving dogs and never any scary moments with cats

Unless you keep an indoor cat, which is horribly cruel.

why do people think having indoor cats is cruel? every vet/dude at a shelter that has ever mentioned this to me has said that you SHOULD keep them indoors so that they don't get run over/into fights/FIV/whatever.

I have an indoor cat and he basically has the best life ever.

this poll is the toughest since 2pac vs. biggie for me.

― Alan N, Wednesday, March 4, 2009 6:49 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark

I think this is a US v. UK thing.

All I'm saying is that damning dogs for a few horror stories is a rash move. When I was a kid we had a nearly-feral barn cat that would sit on a cabinet and stalk my little sister, who was a toddler at the time. One time it pounced on her and bit and scratched the shit out of her face and neck. My dad took it outside and put a bullet in it for that, but I'm not going to write off all cats based on that slice of bad behavior.

C'mon dog people vote!!! These cat freaks are going to win if we don't represent.

You're right, I'm just using scare tactics to get more cat votes, i actually do love doggys.
But cats cats cats
another point in favor of cats for me: i've played with cute little baby tigers but never have had the chance to play with baby wolves
http://scv.bu.edu/~aarondf/hearth/images/tigercubs.jpg

The OP dog vid just got played on this week's The Soup.

the other day one of my classmates told the story of her 4 year old son going to hug their calm and sweet dog. the dog all of a sudden snapped and took a chunk out of the kids face.
don't vote dog

― turtles all the way down (Face of Wolf), Sunday, March 8, 2009 12:10 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Face of Kid?

well, now it's Face of Kid (Minus One Chunk)

don't have kids

:-)

voted cats, despite the fact that one of mine somehow managed to shatter a piece of plate glass last night

I've gone my whole life being made fun of by other guys for liking cats
cats need to win this to prove a point to those bastards

Turtles, how do I get to play with cute little baby tigers too?

countdown to The Revenge of the Cats..

i've met like a hundred people who claim they hate cats. no one ever seems to have any reason, apart from the time they had to take care of an annoying roommate's cat or something.

JD, do you mean "Other," as in the lacanian sense? Just curious.

"Turtles, how do I get to play with cute little baby tigers too?"

find a really amazing and well known vet who works with all sorts of animals
make sure he has a crush on your mother
whenever he gets cool critters in, he will call to invite her and her young children to come see them

xposts

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

*purrrrrs*

Justice has been served.

Damn, cats kinda destroyed dogs on this one.

Dogs will eat some child's face off in protest.

Dogs will eat pudding off some child's face.

Dogs will eat anything off some child's face.

yeeeeeeeeeeah cats!!! you earned this one!

i adore both and i'm glad this poll ended before i got around to making a choice.

My wife has been buggin' to get a dog. We have two cats now, and I am really not into worrying about how they'd get along with the particular rottweiler she has her eye on (a rescue doggie). Also, I don't want to pick up its shit in a plastic baggie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZppqEYiAs8

love