LONDON ILXORS: plz to give info re: eating/drinking venues (FAP with Dan Perry, upstairs at the Lyceum Tavern on The Strand, tonight)

Is anyone familiar with the following places?

http://www.cafepacifico-laperla.com/lpco.html
http://www.thevalmontclub.com/

You realize that the latter location gives you the opportunity to attempt to seduce either Fairuza Balk and Meg Tilly or Uma Thurman and Michelle Pfeiffer, depending.

BEST. BACHELOR PARTY. EVER.

Heard of neither of them, but out my zone as it were. Hardens is a good place to check reviews, http://www.hardens.com/ . It is consumer reviews and the consumers seem to be a fairly grumpy bunch but often OTM.

I had an incredible meal at St. John:

http://www.stjohnrestaurant.co.uk/

Gastropubs like The Eagle were also pleasantly surprising...

woah, ppl are not super happy about Valmont:

This place epitomises everything that is wrong with the world we live in today. Full of pretencious people who only care about money and themselves, a truly dreadful place. If your idea of a good time is spending £200 on a cocktail and talking meaningless drivel then this is your venue, if however, you are not a vacuous person then stay away - you have been warned!

[...]

What an awful place.I wouldn't Never, Ever go there again.I was infact invited here via email by a senior member of staff. I hadoriginally emailed another club in the area and asked to be put on theguestlist for my partners birthday party but as they had a private partythey had passed on my contact details.

I was at first very pleased, we decided not to book a table as we weren'tsure how many would turn up but we were put on the guest list and werelooking forward to it.When we arrived at the Valmont we were made to wait outside in the freezingcold, even though we were on the guest list (Beware everyone is on theguestlist here)

There were 12 in our party, all of us were to be grantedfree entry until 10:30. Due to the line outside by the time we got insideto pay it was after 10:30pm and the girl on the door asked us to pay. Iexplained the situation & the fact that we hadn't actually chosen to comehere but been invited but typically there was nothing she could do.

We then waited around in the cramped entry for 10 minutes until the managerappeared, I was then asked by a rather grusom looking security guard tostand outside and speak to him (quite why he couldn't ask me himself Idon't know).

I explained my point...this resulted in him finally after an age of arguingwith me in the freezing cold telling me that only the girls would beallowed in free. I cannot believe this kind of sexsual discrimination stillgoes on in this country, let alone in what is supposed to be a trendy ngihtclub.

In the end tired of arguing and slightly embarrassed at the whole situationwe went in 8 of the 12 party paying the full ?10 entry fee.Once inside you could hardly move it was so busy, the tiny bar was atleast4 people deep and after about 20 mins of trying to fight our way to it weleft.A waste of time and money!There are plenty of other very good late night places to go in the area,which are a million time better than this place.

This is all being planned by someone else; I'm just along for the ride and wanted to see what I was in for.

hmm this seems more balanced:

Went on Sat night,
Had a good time but could have been better as was too packed.We said we would leave but the music kept us there til' 2 am.In a nutshell - cool club/too many people/brilliant dj.

Everything I've read about La Perla says "great margaritas/variable food" which makes me glad we're just drinking there.

The Valmont Club is a sloaney club in the middle of Fulham that has been named one of the 100 Best Things In The World by GQ magazine. Everything about it will be terribe.

On the other hand, if work is paying you might as well...

hahaha sadly work is not paying for me to go to a college roommate's bachelor party (RIP 90s)

can't you just go to a gentleman's club, like a proper lad

Apparently not!

St John is good.

Have you considered going to Fabric with a big bag of ket?

I shall ask my sister about this place as she is a far more likely denizen of such places.

I really liked St John. Only been to the Smithfield one - the Spitalfield menu looked a bit silly. Not too formal, which is nice, and the wine menu is excellent.

I like the spitalfields one as it is possible to eat a light meal graze with wine. Top tip from the wine list at either is Domaine Boudau, near bottom end of the wine list (for a long while it was the cheapest), a lovely earthy red from the Roussillon, way more character then you expect from that region and low in sulphites too. I shall be making a pilgrimage to the vineyard this summer.

The bar in smithfield is a good place to drink and snack as well. Get a few rounds of welsh rarebit and some kippers, a good bottle of wine and you're set.

I like the Charlotte St La Perla, although I'm not sure I'd eat there. it's a nice place for a relaxed beer.

also they have an entire menu of tequilas! Including one that's so expensive you get your name on a plaque behind the bar if you buy a shot of it! (i am by no means loaded, so was not tempted)

Okay like how expensive? Too onerous for a group of eight guys to buy for the man of the hour at a bachelor party? (I think they all have the ridiculous tequila menu, at least going by the website.)

Should I suggest St John for dinner, then? That seems to be a growing consensus around here.

(I have been considering going to Fabric pretty much all week, ixnay on the etkay tho because 1. I pretty much just say no (lol old guy), 2. I know the bachelor just says no, and 3. on the nights when I'm not doing bachelor party stuff, I'll be with my wife who very emphatically just says no.)

you shld definitely go to st john, i agree w/ ed that the spitalfields one is good bcz you can graze. gamalie what did you mean by the menu looking silly?

St John is a corker yes, I couldn't recommend it more.

They have a private dining room too which would suit you perfectly by the sounds of it. The menu for today is below with prices, but for parties they also do feasting menues with suckling pig or half a lamb etc, and considering it got voted in World's top 20 restaurants the other week - it's insanely reasonable.

Today's St John menu:
Friday 8th May 2009 Lunch

Starters
£6.00
Gulls Eggs & Celery Salt (each)
£2.75
Grilled Razor Clams (each)
£5.50
Kohlrabi
£6.50
Chicken & Garlic Broth
£6.50
Smoked Mackerel & Potato Salad
£9.50
Cured Beef & Celeriac
£7.20
Brown Shrimp & White Cabbage
£8.00
Asparagus & Hot Butter
£11.50
Crayfish & Dill
Mains
£23.00
Roast Beef, Seabeet & Mustard
£17.50
Lemon Sole & Tartare Sauce
£13.80
Lentils & Goats Curd
£16.20
Rabbit Saddle & Braised Peas
£15.80
Ox Heart & Horseradish Mash
£15.40
Pigeon & Beetroot
£14.50
Blood Cake & Fried Eggs
£17.40
Braised Kid, Butterbeans & Aioli
Side Orders
£3.50
New Potatoes
£4.50
Green Salad
£3.50
Greens
£5.00
Welsh Rarebit
£8.40
Cheese
Desserts
£6.40
Eccles Cake & Lancashire Cheese
£6.50
Chocolate Pot & Oat Biscuits
£6.60
Rhubarb Jelly & Shortbread
£6.60
Burnt Cream
£6.60
Bakewell Tart & Jersey Cream
£6.70
Bread Pudding & Butterscotch Sauce
£6.50
Blackberry Ripple Ice Cream
£7.40
Lemon Sorbet & Russian Vodka
£3.60
Madeleines (1/2 Dozen) (fifteen minutes)
£6.40
Madeleines (1 Dozen) (fifteen minutes)

feasting menu and details:

Menus start at £30.00 per head and include side orders. An extra course of appetisers has been added for those diners who would like a little something before sitting down to the starter course which can be served either at the table or in the bar beforehand.

APPETISERS

• Olives

• Radishes & Butter

TO START

• Roast Bone Marrow & Parsley Salad

• Chitterlings, Chicory & Butter Beans

• Brown Shrimp & White Cabbage

• Goat's Curd, Roast Shallots & Mint

• Mussels, Cucumber & Dill

• Langoustines & Mayonnaise

• Pickled Mackerel & Potato

• Potted Beef & Pickled Beetroot

THE MAIN COURSES

• Whole Roast Suckling Pig (feeds 14-16 guests. One week’s notice needed to guarantee availability. Each pig costs £320.00 and orders for pigs are not processed until we have received a deposit cheque for that amount which will be redeemed to your bill, please note that we cannot offer Suckling Pigs on Sundays).
• Braised Lamb & Chickpeas

• Roast Guinea Fowl & Lentils

• Chicken & Ox Tongue Pie

• Braised Venison, Red Cabbage & Trotter

• Pig's Head & Potato Pie

• Roast Beef On Dripping Trencher

• Whole Baked Fish On Green & White Vegetables

DESSERT OPTIONS

• Eccles Cake & Lancashire Cheese (subject to availability)

• Chocolate Cake & Praline Cream

• Queen of Pudding

• Steamed Marmalade Sponge & Custard

• Rhubarb Fool & Shortbread

• Sorbet
• Cheese, Raisin Bread & Crackers

hungry now

shld definitely go to st john, i agree w/ ed that the spitalfields one is good bcz you can graze. gamalie what did you mean by the menu looking silly?

― just sayin, Friday, 8 May 2009 13:55

Erm. Not sure now. Think it may have been a lame, throwaway comment. Possibly I quite liked the fairly straightforward nature of the Smithfields (from which I assume that menu above (xpost) was taken), whereas the Spitalfields one, when I looked at it I thought actually I'm not sure I fancy any of that - some funny combinations.

Christ, what an old fart.

In short - don't listen to me tub-a-lub, go with what everyone else is saying.

This place looks really cool! I don't know the rest of the bachelor party so I don't know if this menu would be too adventurous for them but the suggestion has been sent.

(If we don't make it for the party, I'm def. taking my wife one night.)

(haha yeah, btw she and I are gonna be in London from the 15th through the 21st, weekday FAP etc?)

Okay like how expensive?

i think it was like £100 a shot?

just looking at Bread and wine menu (spitalfields one) They have Suckling Kid on the menu today - now really hungry.

I'll be available during day that week, not evening though.

well, here's what i'm having

Starters
£7.20
Brown Shrimp & White Cabbage

Mains
£17.40
Braised Kid, Butterbeans & Aioli

Desserts
£6.60
Bakewell Tart & Jersey Cream

Thanks for covering for all of our meals, HI DERE

i think it was like £100 a shot?

OK WORTH IT, ESP. WITH 7 OTHER PPL CHIPPING

damn, considering the occasion I would srsly consider breaking into my new computer fund and buying that shot by myself

Feasting menu is great for groups, have done it a couple of times. I will reiterate that wine is great value there, they have one of the lowest markups in the business and some really great stuff under twenty quid a bottle, which given you could pay more than that for dross in an all bar one is saying something.

I miss good wine so. Fucking pennsylvania liquor monopoly, liquor taxes and over oaked red syrup.

A load of us went for a full-on goose feast at St John a few Christmases ago and it was one of the best meals I can remember eating. The place is wonderful and you should go.

what we had at St John (6 people):

Olives and Lancashire Cheese
Cockaleekie potato soup with Crispy Back Fat
Tripe, Celeriac & Bacon
Roasted Cod Roe Toast
Roasted Bone Marrow, Parsley and Sea Salt salad
Chitterlings, Chicory & Butter Beans
Suckling Pig and accoutrements
Fried Pig Tails
Eccles Cake

It was divine.

you guys had the whole pig for just 6 ppl???

:@)

are you going to the wedding i was gonna go to? was definitely gonna do st john. other places on my list - acorn house, l'autre pied or the glasshouse, tapa room at the providores, the ebury, orangery, petersham cafe, anchor and hope or great queen st, j sheekey or another oyster place, wild honey, malabar, busaba eathai, epicerie, and the daylesford places.

xpost so awesomely greedy

Anchor & Hope is fucking fantastic.

I wouldn't bother with Busaba - I'd go for the little cafe style Thai on Windmill street (can't remember the name of it right now).

But yes, A&H is bloody marvellous (all former St John staff).

J sheeky is not all that amazing.

is the place in the tate modern any good? menu looked nice.

Never been - not heard much about it either which is odd, Peyton's place in the National gallery has had good write-ups, which is a shame as he's an insufferable twat.

Of course there is Tayyabs to go to.....

I like how this has turned into a thread about St John. Feast entrees change according to season and availability: my favourite one was this amazing baked turbot from a couple of years ago but GOOSE NOM NOM NOM. If you want a cheaper, lunchtime version of this food (and you want to watch fashion designers and artists eating it) go to Mrs St John's place, Rochelle Canteen (started as a cafe in a studio complex, hence the quality people-watching).

Dan, I'd like to lead an expedition to yummy Turkish place which is basically skewers, sides, pitta/hommous and bring-your-own bouze OR there needs to be a trip to Tayyab XPOST or Lahore which are both Punjabi Pakistani. Both options are in various parts of East London not hugely far from where you stayed that one time.

Expensive fish: Scott's of Mayfair. Also take J to the Wolesley for breakfast.

yeah my parents like the national gallery place. also the oyster place at borough market.

I have an inbuilt distrust of cafeterias/restaurants at galleries/other big tourist attractions. Even poncey middle class ones.

But yeah, don't bother with Busaba, it's pretty bog-standard chain Thai really. Everyone who goes to East London should eat in Tayyabs though, just make sure you book first because it is ridiculously popular (queues stretching right out the door level of popular).

The Providores, although good, is INCREDIBLY expensive - partly you feel to keep away the riff-raff (successfully) and attract the MASSIVE WANKERS (equally successfully). Snotty service the times I've been as well. Maybe that's just me.

Anchor & Hope is fucking fantastic.

yes. also it is my local.

The Providores, although good, is INCREDIBLY expensive

not the tapa room lunch tho, right?

tapas room has always been v v crowded when i've gone, and the food was ok but not amazing

Ah, gabbnebb, you could be right there.

Also, what could be fun for a bachelor party is Pasha near Gloucester Square. Upscale Turkish place, very sexy. They have HOT belly dancing service at 9pm. Food was good to very good too.

I prefer cigala for my spanish fix. Providores has some of the rudest wait staff going. Salt yard is pretty good for tapas.

Apparently there are concerns about the bachelor party being adventurous enough to eat at St. John, so that has gone onto the "romantic dinner" pile (lol assuming I can get my wife to eat there after showing her the menu).

A place called Yauatcha has been mentioned as an alternative; should I fear? (I see it's #43 on the Restaurant list.)

lolz at customer reviews:

The food here is consistenly amazing but the food less so.

Er...?

st john is divine. i've had the suckling pig and mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

bedford & strand is also great, though more for the romantic dinner than the bachelor party

ok that place is on the list, wau thx!

just go to the texas embassy and have a huge fukken steak imo

DP, I know you're ignoring my posts (with healthy skeptical reasons, got that) but don't sleep on Pasha... totally may fit the bill. Saw lots of business deals going down after the belly dancing revue (weeknight). Really hot spot.

(xpost) ask for the special LJ sauce...

ok srsly why on Earth wd we travel across the ocean and then go to an Americana restaurant

(besides, thanks to a friend obsessed with Smith and Wollensky we are burned out on steak places)

xp: I'm not ignoring yr posts! Apologies if it seems that way!

(PS: I was not with tourists, at least 4-6 well-fed, social Londoners at each place).

Pasha does look fantastic but I've just been told by the best man that he's looking at "oriental" places as that's the groom's preference (he is Taiwanese-American).

Haha also dude, I've already decided to try to do St John, which you were the first person to mention!

(ha, you can kindly inform the best man that Turkey is the gateway to the Orient.)

http://www.icvbbulletin.org/images/orient_express-route.jpg

lol sorry DP was just kidding

i am poor boy from the suburbs so i bow to the greater wisdom of those else upthread, and mentally pocket their advice for when i have a job/career/life etc

Yauatcha, very classy Chinese tea and dim sum place. Lovely for lunch or tea, not so for dinner. (Also hot on the tea list are sketch and the Tea Room in Liberty, my personal favourite)

I don't think I have ever had really classy Chinese in London.

royal china!

Although if you want a kind of oriental grab bag*, sloany clientelle, ok wine** and good cocktails then the Crazy Bearis a good bet. (My dad had his engagement party there). Very melt in the mouth pork belly.

http://www.crazybeargroup.co.uk/london/index.html

*The Thai embassy says its one of london's best thai places, the menu looks much more cantonese to me
**I say OK as the winelist is a bit scattergun, poorly organised and expensive.

I like royal china, but I've only ever had sunday dim sum there which I don't think allows it to shine at its classiest (not in terms of food but experience)

Penis wipes next to the urinals is pretty classy though.

o_O

yauatcha looks a bit like eating in lush

and mentally pocket their advice for when i have a job/career/life etc

i have those things (ok, the job) but these threads are always 'wtf you guys seem to dine out way more often than me'

i have recently started a Dining Club with friends tho - Ethiopian last week, Georgian the other night

If anyone fancies a St John in HI DERE week I would be more than happy to join them btw...

if someone gives me free money I'm there. or a job.

^^^^^^^^^^^

Only ever had a cocktail at Hakkasan but maybe the food is as good as the website is pretentious? Anyone tried it? http://www.hakkasan.com/

Hakkasan is great. Also Matsuri on High Holborn.

Okay, so here's the deal:

We have nothing planned in stone as of yet besides heading north a week from Friday. We might do some type of day trip jaunt early in the week; my other college roommate comes into town with his wife Wednesday night. If we do dinner/FAP-type things Monday or Tuesday, that would be cool.

exchange rate movement has turned against merkins again

where up north are you going HD?

i think yauatcha's pretty good, it's owned by teh same dude who runs hakkasan i think. it's dim sum all day if yr keen for that.

hakkasan's expensive but worth it

So yeah, FAP on Tuesday then?

Any chance to go to St John I will grab at with both hands.

I love, love, love Providores. A tad pricey, sure, but my god the food I've had there was superb, and while I seem to be in the minority based on posts above, I've had nothing but excellent service there.

Also big up St Johns. Mmm, bone marrow.

where up north are you going HD?

We're going to Lancaster for the wedding.

So are we going to the pub or not? Wherabouts in town are you staying on Monday/Tuesday?

We're going to be at the Crowne Plaza St James on Buckingham Gate.

I think Tuesday will be the better day for us; we're also pretty flexible re: where to go.

Hey, is tomorrow still happening?

Also wow 24 hours to recover from a hangover, shameful.

Somewhere reasonably large near St James or Charing Cross would suit, I suppose?

The Ritz.

Dan - the pubs round where you're staying tend to be very small and usually rammed with civil servants. I'd suggest either the Lyceum Tavern on The Strand or the Old Bank of England up where The Strand meets Fleet Street.

Both have the advantage of being able to fit sizeable groups of people and aren't too far from where you're staying. The former is a Sam Smiths and therefore an old-skool FAP venue with a decent-sized room upstairs and cheap booze. The latter is huge and quite spectacular looking and may be good if you've got friends who don't come to London often.

i liked the bank of england very much. i was supposed to be checking in in bloomsbury about this time. ;__;

those aren't really near Buckingham Gate tho. what about The Cardinal? i remember that being pretty big.
http://www.fancyapint.com/pubs/pub1041.html

Yeah but Victoria is a pain in the arse ;)

I'm probably down for this...or indeed up for it.

I'd love to join, but I'm pretty sure it's not gonna happen ;_;

y'all make me wanna do the london dum-sum marathon

i am totally coming along to this after cricket nets finish

Could maybe fit a couple of pints in early doors depending on location.

I could do this, at victoria or anywhere.

y'all make me wanna do the london dum-sum marathon

this i wanna hear more about.

I'm at loss when it comes to Chinese foodstuffs in London, I've only sampled hackney area asian joints so far...
NEEDS DIM SUM GUIDANCE

dragon castle, elephant & castle <-- the best, imho
www.london-eating.co.uk/28958.htm
http://www.dragoncastle.eu/our_menu.html#dimsum

joy king lau, chinatown <-- it's the surly staff that make this place
http://www.london-eating.co.uk/2966.htm

Shanghai Blues in Holborn is good for posh dim sum. I've had decent enough dim sum at Golden Lion on Gerrard Street at the cheaper end of things. Then again I am happy enough in Ping Pong so maybe I am not the best person to ask about these things.

leong's legend in chinatown, v cheap but also v good

waht is cheap? even dragon castle is < £2 for average dumpling. dunno why anyone would go to ping pong and pay over 50% more.

but ping pong is classy the TGI fridays of chinese food.

but is it GOOD? is the steamed pork bun worth £3? is £17.15 for all-you-can-eat dim sum a reasonable offer? what about their cocktails?

Grrr my phone keeps eating my posts.

Gimme a tiMe and a place and we'll be there. I trust your judgment on locations because you guys have never taken me someplace bad.

china city on leicester street is dim sum + karaoke = winner

think i'll have to skip this actually ;_; got a friend coming down that i'd forgotten about.

china city on leicester street is dim sum + karaoke = winner

― ken "save-a-finn" c (ken c), Monday, May 18, 2009 6:01 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark

YESSS

Right to save any further fannying around going to call this one for upstairs at the Lyceum Tavern on the Strand, unless anyone has any massive objections?

Sounds good to me! What time should we be there?

Any time from 5.30ish I would imagine.

Is this tonight?

Yup. Edited title.

Oh fuck, I can't make it, dammit

i need to come into town later to buy some hand luggage so i might pop into this too

OK for the dim summary:

Props to the Leong's Legends stan, they do great soup dumplings.
Proper retro at New China, battered old steel carts and great prices.
Royal China is cheaper than Ping Pong but if you order carefully so is Yauatcha, which is good but ain't all that.
I have been warming to Queensway as a better version of Chinatown, restaurant-wise.

YESSS a FAP that I can walk to.

Dan, with where you are staying, if you do not take your wife to the Wolesley for breakfast it would be RONG.

Simpsons too.

je fappe
tu fappes
on fappe!

No FAP for me, sorry Dan. See you soon I hope!

Will this thing still be going at like 8.30?

I have been warming to Queensway as a better version of Chinatown, restaurant-wise.

you will be right suzy. although 4 seasons is the best one there and they have a branch in chinatown now.

question all these places need to answer: do their shanghai dumplings actually have soup in?

i'll try and come for a couple early doors although there's a possibility that i will die if i put more drinks inside me after all the ones i had in ATP, which could be messy

are shanghai dumplings = siu lung bao? if so surely it's got to have soup in!

Will this thing still be going at like 8.30?

Previous form would say yes.

yeah but sometimes they palm you off with cheap soup-free versions. xp.

what time will people be there from?

Got a couple of things to do after work but I can be there any time from 6.30. It's only round the corner really.

We are here now with pints in hand, waiting for some food to nibble on. We grabbed a corner in the back upstairs.

Leaving here in ten minutes, and will be there approx ten minutes after that.

I have essential cricket practice now but I should be able to pop along later!

So all of the nice open tables around where we decided to camp out are filling up rapidly; we may need to scout out a new location when more folks show up.

Well, if that happens, could someone text me? Upt0eleven has my number iirc, and it's on Fbk anyway. Cool, cheers, hurrah etc

sorry guys work went on for longer than i thought and i can't make it now. let me know if there are any other meets though (esp if it involves xiaolungbao..)

Was this fun????

We have all agreed never to speak of it ever again.

Nah just kidding it was fun.

ah, whew, etc. good.

pics or it didn't happen

I wasn't there so I refuse to believe it happened

i have a pic taken as we were leaving on a phone i couldn't figure out how to use. will post it, with permission from those involved, later.

i hope it was a poppage pic

IT WAS NOT

(unless there's one I don't know about)

Finally figured out how to email the aforementioned picture from my phone to my computer. Anyone object to its poppage postage here?

No! Have at it.

Lousy phone camera :)
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg187/nick-uptoeleven/fap.jpg

epochal

Anyone ever feel like they are in the same pub as another ilxor?

Don't wanna be a dick and interrupt him with his mates but if there is another ilxor in th carpenters arms in Shoreditch, hiya!