Quieting the Imps in Your Brainz

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/07/health/07mind.html

The visions seem to swirl up from the brain’s sewage system at the worst possible times — during a job interview, a meeting with the boss, an apprehensive first date, an important dinner party. What if I started a food fight with these hors d’oeuvres? Mocked the host’s stammer? Cut loose with a racial slur?

Pretty interesting. I get this . . . often. For instance, I sometimes wonder what would happen if I jumped in front of the subway car even though I have no desire to do actually do so. When I was younger and forced to go to church, I used to think about what might happen if I just took off all my clothes and started running around or yelling obscenities. Once, when I was on a crowded train and my mouth was about 1/2 an inch from someone's hand, I wondered what the person would do if I just licked them.

Obviously I would never do any of these things but these thoughts happen. Tell me about your experiences with "The Imp of the Perverse".

If there is a minutes silence I find it hard not to burst out laughing, even if I feel respect for whoever is being commemorated. At school we had one after September 11th and I had tears rolling out my eyes and my face was all red from the effort of stifling laughter.

I am very scared of heights but whenever I'm near a large drop I feel like jumping off it. i.e. watching the sunset near a cliff and I almost want to leap off, despite my very real aversion to dying on impact on some craggy rocks.

Yep. I've had both the laughing at innappropriate times thing (often) and the jumping urge too.

I am very scared of heights but whenever I'm near a large drop I feel like jumping off it. i.e. watching the sunset near a cliff and I almost want to leap off, despite my very real aversion to dying on impact on some craggy rocks.

This is me, minus the fear of heights. I would love to fly, even just for a few seconds. But the landing would suck.

Erica: you of all ppl must have experience with this
me: yeah?
Erica: Quieting the Imps in Your Brainz
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

it is a ceaseless torrent of persuasion

driving on the highway next to a concrete median

this is like.... my whole life

what if...

But see there is a difference between wondering what if and experiencing completely absurd impulses. For me the later isn't so much tiring as it is amusing and sort of entertaining.

Oh man.

I don't know where to start. I shouldn't start.

x-post I guess that does depend on the impulse though. I mean, what would happen if I jumped in front of that train? = scary. What would that random person do if I licked their hand right now? HIGHLY ENTERTAINING.

lol yes

I've had the imps in my head since childhood (isn't that article saying more or less everybody does?) but my refinement is to imagine a number of alternate scenarios in response to obeying the inner voice. Like if you decide to start behaving in a thoroughly bizarre fashion maybe it would be some kind of trigger that made everybody in the world start doing the same thing.

isn't that article saying more or less everybody does?

Yeah, to some degree, which is why we're talking about it. You think I'd be admitting this stuff otherwise?!

outside of telling my boss to stfu or occasionally wanting to punch someone i don't experience this phenomenon.

i remember a conversation in uni where one of my friends said that she often founded herself wondering what it would feel like to smash someone's head in with a baseball bat - wondering in detail about what the different sensations would be. i was about to call the police when a couple of other people piped up and said they had the same thoughts, so maybe it's a thing.

IMO this phenomenon was most eloquently expressed by 'Peter Baynham's Mad Thoughts' on Fist Of Fun circa 1995

My deepest brain imps are too bizarre to admit I thing. Just that whim to do thoroughly inappropriate and inexplicable things in public spaces.

Btw Louis I feel like you could probably make some exceptionally valuable contributions to this thread. Don't hold back.

xxpost OTM

I'm running out the front door now but I'll try and scan the "Mad Thoughts" page from the FoF book later.

* Wanting to jump up and start shouting obscenities in church: check
* Wanting to jump from high places: check
* Driving across bridges and thinking about jerking the wheel and going over: check
* Resolving, as a child, to swerve my bike in front of the next car that passed me and see what happened: check, although fortunately I got home before there was any traffic.
* Mental voice saying blasphemous things that I believed God could hear and would use to condemn me unless I somehow prayed over top of it until I fell asleep: check, altho hasn't happened since I was a teenager or so.

every time i hold a knife, i worry i'm going to do something bad with it. i know, it's terrible. my boyfriend won't get near me in the kitchen.

OK yes. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Don't think I've ever had the knife thing though.

Taking my mug of coffee and HURLING it across the room

lots of kicking people in the face, I've never (ever) been in a fight so I guess I'm doing a pretty good job of this repression thing.

That and diving through closed windows. Especially if they're second floor or higher, and especially especially if the frame gives me a small target to aim for.

When I get these, it's not of the cute/amusing variety, and is kind of a good indicator that I need to eat more/sleep better/reduce stress/get things sorted out, etc. So ultimately it's kind of useful.

^^^ I used to get this, and it was a pretty good indicator that stress was getting to me. My "trick" (if it can be called a trick) for dealing with this is to remind my self that "just because I think something, it doesn't mean that I have to do it". I started doing that maybe five years ago, now I'm at the point where these "mad thoughts" (lol Banyham) have stopped.

why would you want to quiet these? This is your brain making a free movie for you. If you find them disturbing, just mentally replace yourself with Jackie Chan to get proper movie-going detachment. Also imagine the flubbed outtakes at the end.

in places with stadium seating i imagine diving from the upper rows and body splashing into people down below.

I've always been described as an exceptionally divergent thinker. Any given situation has suggested a multitude more, each more absurd than the last. Therefore, this topic fits snugly within my realm of experience.

Basically at an early age I would always imagine my female teachers on the toilet, and quickly scrunch up this thought because it was so illicit...but it kept on coming back. This was probably a scatological rendition of a basic and incomprehensible sexual drive.

Later in life I could never pass a fruit-bearing plant without wishing to sample its delights. I knew well there was a fair chance I'd be poisoned. I only sampled if I was sure of safety but by god was I tempted (see also: mushrooms).

Throughout, I have always wanted to say things that might be construed as inappropriate. Often I have said them. You all know this.

Erm...ok. Let's ratchet things up a bit.

The imps tell me to punch *through* peoples' faces.
The imps tell me to dignify any moment of solemnity with some sort of subversion. Despite being the one i'd actually obey most, this is an increasingly resistable impulse in my maturity.
The imps tell me to kick small animals, just to see how far they can fly.
The imps tell me to dive in front of trains and then try and lie beneath them.
The imps tell me to initiate sex on public transport with strangers.
They tell me to climb in the cabin of a metro and drive away (this happened last week).
They tell me to walk insane distances between two vaguely-known locations.
They tell me to insert things where they shouldn't be inserted (interpret this how you will).
They tell me to experiment with everything, and say no to nothing.
They tell me to put objects on train-lines and thus cause the most beautiful crashes I can.
To talk animatedly about air disasters to strangers when flying.
To look at mens' cocks in sports changing rooms.
To cut off my own cock.
To put my friend's cat in the guinea-pig cage where the latter would undoubtedly be killed.
To go to a poetry reading and recite the most horrendous necrophiliac verse.
To throw (or skim) stones at the heads of maritime swimmers.
To run across motorways.
To trash my bass.
To apply for Big Brother, and once there, to gleefully do the weirdest shit I could think of.
To drop objects such as coins or chairs out of high windows.
To sleep with my friends. Of both sexes.
To smash glass.
To shave my head.
To go about in drag.
Also yeah, to do what Kerm just said. Or better still, to push someone in front of me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGPcSd7DDLk

There is such inscrutable darkness within the human consciousness and it is there to be confronted, interpreted, or even engaged with.

LJ do you have a guinea pig?!?!?!?!

My friend's guinea-pig. Princess Mumu.

To cut off my own cock.

Probably for the best, considering...
The imps tell me to initiate sex on public transport with strangers.
To sleep with my friends. Of both sexes.
They tell me to insert things where they shouldn't be inserted (interpret this how you will).

if you are having the impulse to rape on public transport maybe u should be lobotomized.

LJ I hope the darker impulse you act on is to post pictures of Princess Mumu.

look at cocks, it's good for you

two things:

initiate sex != rape, it requires someone of similar mind to agree that this is in fact a good idea
and more importantly, these are devilish whispers of the Perverse Imp, like throwing yourself off cliffs or whatever have you...you're NOT GONNA DO THEM jesus dude

i mean c'mon this is a thread for every single dark notion you've ever countenanced cut a guy a break here

guineapigphotos

you been cut soooo many breaks it's not even funny. i mean, no one's even posted lj_in_a_dress.jpg yet!

Awwww now I feel bad for encouraging Louis to post but he makes a good point:

and more importantly, these are devilish whispers of the Perverse Imp, like throwing yourself off cliffs or whatever have you...you're NOT GONNA DO THEM jesus dude

That's the whole point!

Now I have to go and read the whole list . . .

To talk animatedly about air disasters to strangers when flying.

If you are ever sat next to me on a plane and do this Louis I swear to god my imp will tell me to punch you in the face and I can't promise that I'll be able to keep it quiet.

I can't find any, Abbott :(

lol Erica do you feel bad because I'm copping flak? Or because I've gone monster?

Also I don't ACTUALLY do any of these, tempting as they all are

in places with stadium seating i imagine diving from the upper rows and body splashing into people down below.

― Kerm, Tuesday, July 7, 2009 1:19 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark

This is actually a big one for me. I was at a baseball game recently and kept imagining what would happen if I did this.

You should be lobotomised.

Louis I feel bad because ppl are giving you a hard time. I would venture to guess that your imps are no stranger than a lot of those other posters would never actually admit to having.

c'mon now louis, regardless of the total lack of respect i have for you, i don't seriously think you should be lobotomised. uh, my "imp" told me to say that.

They tell me to walk insane distances between two vaguely-known locations.

I don't know ENBB, this is kind of unforgivable.

Naughty imp! You should have quieted him though :( xp

also lol Dan

^_^

hahaha ha ha?

imp is a creepy word

it's like gimp without the g. or limp without the l.

I sort of love it tbh.

my imps get annoyingly loud when i'm hungover (or prob still slightl;y drunk) and stuck somewhere i don't want to be.

http://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo1.gif

^^^ my imps.

when i see a hot guy with a great round ass i wonder what it would be like to bury my face in it but i don't think that's an "imp" as much as a "healthy libido"

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

http://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gifhttp://www.cslab.ntua.gr/%7Ephib/images/doom/anim/troo0.gif

^^^ quieting my imps.

Elmo see that's different because it's not completely absurd unless maybe you're imagining doing so right then and there on the street or wherever it is you may see said person

my lovely lady imps? xps

haha there's definitely a libido-imp crossover elmo but i'm talking about situations where sexual contact would be remarkably inappropriate or even damaging, i.e. a sports changing-room, a train etc...in your situation, it could be highly appropriate and logical.

Basically what ENBB just said.

in some cultures it is considered rude NOT to bury your face into a hot stranger's great round ass

On especially frustrating days at work I have impy visions of picking up my keyboard and smashing my target (boss, coworker, customer, etc) across the face with it. This vision is usually a lot like that fantasy scene in High Fidelity where they hit Tim Robbins in the face with a phone and his teeth come flying out of his mouth like candy corn.

ie there is usually rock music and jack black somewhere

and a dream chamber

Next time I get the urge to lick a stranger I'm going to blame this guy. He looks like just the sort of imp would would encourage me to do such things:

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c287/expatrica/imp.jpg

the thing with asses, and burying your face in them, is that if the person is walking it's hard to get down on your knees in time to position yourself before they walk away. this is why my imps usually just tell me to give it a good hard smack as i walk by.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THh1pPWEoWs

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Not an imp.

Also, I don't remember that scene being that funny from when I actually watched that movie. lol.

My imps tell me to spit in the faces of drunk, sexist boys or to tell prostletyzing Christians that God doesn't exist.

lol xp

i dont have these really anymore which is good? or maybe i let them out enough when drunk

I don't know. The article seems to suggest that it's totally normal.

But a vast majority of people rarely, if ever, act on such urges, and their susceptibility to rude fantasies in fact reflects the workings of a normally sensitive, social brain

uhoh

i don't often have these impulses either, aside from the occassional road rage moment and the aforementioned "horny wolf" perv moments

x-post Maybe you just need to nurture your imps to prevent them from plotting against you and eventually causing you to think Henry is communicating messages to you like that dog upthread did to Berkowitz.

I'm sorry you guys don't have normally sensitive and social brains. :-(

"what would happen if I pantsed this dude, right now"

(xpost) if we did would we be hanging around on ILX?

yeah i dont know most of henrys secret messages seem to be things like "lets eat shoes!" and those are fairly crushable on the impulse control scale.

i have the urge to reveal many examples, even though it wouldn't be too hard for someone to figure out who I am IRL and find this post and get upset. I'm gonna resist the urge ... or wait until I can come up with something non-damaging.

i have succumbed to the "hey! lets go pee in the back yard!" suggestion once or twice so far tho xpost

yeah i dont know most of henrys secret messages seem to be things like "lets eat shoes!" and those are fairly crushable on the impulse control scale.

― 5:00 manatee showing (jjjusten), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 2:22 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

Awwwwww Henry.

wait is henry the dog or did you name your imp

I think the imps are different from my rage under certain conditions, or elmo's road rage, or emotional triggers. It's like...not an emotional thing, it's strictly the rational brain going "what if what if what if" just to see what happens.

sarahel are you barack obama

"i frequently want to box joe biden about the ears"

^^^haha i wondered this too

I think there's a big difference between having fleeting thoughts about doing abnormal things (which I suspect is the case for most people) and having uncontrollable urges to do the same. Plenty of times I've thought "what if I just ran into that restaurant, grabbed some food off someone's plate, and walked out?" -- but I generally just think "haha, that would be crazy" or else I go as far as to imagine the IRL consequences and then think "oh, bad idea, right." In either case, I've put it out of my head within seconds. For some people, though, I imagine the thoughts aren't so easily suppressed, and that's when it gets into mental illness.

wait is henry the dog or did you name your imp

You don't understand, Henry is the name of his dog!

Imagine what kind of imps the president must get on a minute-by-minute basis.

"What if I just strode to the podium and started screaming at the top of my lungs?"

Laruel OTM. I think what Hooes was describing and Suzy too are more just emotional responses to situations.

Also JayMC - exactly. That's what makes these normal and not signs of mental illness.

Here's an example of another one of my imps . . .

Pushing someone in front of a train. Obviously I'm not crazy and I wouldn't actually do this but I will admit that when standing close the the tracks in addition to imagining throwing myself in front of the train I've wondered what would happen if I, you know, gave someone else a little shove. The thought is fleeting and it doesn't happen every single time I'm in that situation. Furthermore it's merely a reflection of my normally sensitive, social brain SO STOP JUDGING ME OK!?

Hooes!!

"what if i just pooped, right here, on the sidewalk, what would happen"

i have a friend who has just pooped on the sidewalk. Nothing happened.

He was with a girl he'd just met, and said wait here, walked round the corner and shat on the pavement. He wiped his ass with a sock. It was 7am on a Sunday in a residential street in Glasgow.

"what if i just started referring to reporters as 'poopypants 1' and 'poopypants 2' etc for the rest of this presser"

"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

what if I replied to all my work email only with chris_hansen.jpg or lolcat pics?

I also think that these imps usually occur in situations where there is a strict standard of behavior that is expected like a dinner party, public transportation, etc.

church . . .

work ...

yep

(btw - since yesterday someone thought I was serious when I said I was watching 2.5 men in my underwear while eating cheetos, I'd like to make it clear that I'm not actually ever going to throw myself or anyone else in front of a train so don't call the cops on me ok guys?)

To talk animatedly about air disasters to strangers when flying.

I wouldn't mind this ... whenever I got on a plane, I'd always spend at least half an hour contemplating it crashing. The last time I got on a plane, they asked the routine question about some unknown person giving you something/putting something in your luggage, and I joked that "yes, and it looked like it might be a bomb." This was in 2000. I'm thoroughly afraid that I'd say or do something inappropriate for air travel post 9/11 and get in some serious shit.

When I'm at rock shows I often have the urge to jump onstage and tackle the frontman.

if the band sucks, I have the urge to get onstage and tell them to stop playing right now.

Once or twice at free jazz shows I have wanted to shout FOR FUCKS SAKE PLAY A TUNE

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/07-07-2009200342.jpg

Not sure if that's slightly too small or much too big.

Once or twice at free jazz shows I have wanted to shout FOR FUCKS SAKE PLAY A TUNE

That's how I feel at noise shows too. It's perfectly normal.

xp Laurel -- seriously. Though I was at a Lightning Bolt where it sounded like they were playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"

Things I hear about Glasgow make me alternately sure that I will love it/be terrified by it.

Noodle - that Bad Thoughts pg is pretty great.

Yeah, I was reading it too. Quite amusingly done.

CHICKEN LOLLIES!!!

That Bad Thoughts page is making me think I need my vision checked again ;_;

If you open it in a new tab you can enlarge it Abs!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E32GsJpZAtQ
^^^ now imagine those mad thoughts spoken by this guy

No, enlarged is how I can't read it. I mean, I can't read it small either but that's not what's making me worry.

If you open it in a new tab you can enlarge it Abs!

I, too, was wondering how everyone was able to read it!

x-post - it's still small but if I put my face pretty close the the screen I can read it . . . yes, that looks are ridiculous as it sounds.

i feel the imps a lot when im standing at a great height and also A LOT when i'm using a large knife like "well what if i just felt the sudden urge to slit my wrists"

those are fleeting in a way but i really do get terrified that i'm going to let slip a secret of a friend in front of that friend in front of people that matter - one of the more recent ones is casually mentioning who my friend voted for in front of his father - just terrified of stuff like that

when i was working at a call center i felt this all the time too - like what if i happened to say the n-word to this black woman that im speaking to, things like that - always mildly freaked me out

BTW - Asked someone at work about this earlier today and she brought up the jumping/pushing someone in front of a train as her most common example.

I think it's *the* stock example for people who regularly use trains.

Are you guys ever even around trains?

I sometimes amuse myself by considering how painful it would be to put one's head in front of the train and cop a glancing blow. And yeah, all the time.

Hey - it would quiet the imps in my brainz!

xxp Twice every weekday.

It is bcz I live in rural America that I think of trains as things that haul agricultural goods and not humans.

Every time I cut myself shaving I have a split second vision of connecting the dots into a jagged red line from ear to ear. Then I finish shaving and go to work.

I often consider yelling gibberish at the occupants of stopped city buses.

Are you guys ever even around trains?

― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 5:37 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

Abbott I take the subway to and from work every day!

They're probably used to that kind of behavior, as bus passengers.

xp

I feel like I live in my own country sometimes.

xp Hoos: not drawing a smiley face?

I know, but probably not from a guy in a passing car. I wanna introduce some variety into their lives. xxp

xp Hoos: not drawing a smiley face?

― incomprehensible Kool-Aid swallower (sarahel), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 9:41 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark

"jagged red grin" seemed to morbid tbh

xp to me: There are many people that mistakenly think New Mexico is a country, Abbott.

for some reason I'm envisioning the Jack in the Box mascot here.

Bus passengers are generally pretty fucking crazy. A couple of years ago a woman who clearly couldn't control her imps actually flipped out on me and hit me while I was standing next to her on a bus.

There are many people that mistakenly think New Mexico is a country, Abbott.

Isn't that why the license plates say "New Mexica, USA"?

Mexic"O"

Oh god ENBB I never even noticed that, that's depressing as hell.

http://www.15q.net/us4/nm98a.jpg

See?? I think it's the only state license place that actually says "USA" on it.

LoUiSiAna

w/r/t putting body limbs (and your head) in front of the train -- a fantasy I've definitely had while waiting on the platform -- have you ever thought about what would happen if you touched a train with your hand while it was flying by? It looks like with the velocity/etc it could just rip your fingers right off if you touched it...

(xp just so it doesn't seem like I'm being pedantic, God forbid...)

http://www.licenseplateinfo.com/grading/exc-La92.jpg

I occasionally get the urge to go the wrong way on the freeway, or stop in the middle of it.

PP Hmmmm. That looks like gov officials just being cute cause it's already in the name. I think the NM one is because a lot of ppl don't know it'a part of the US! I had a friend who lived there for a while and repeatedly got asked what I was like living in Mexico even after he explained that he lived in NEW Mexico and not Mexico Mexico.

On especially frustrating days at work I have impy visions of picking up my keyboard and smashing my target (boss, coworker, customer, etc) across the face with it. This vision is usually a lot like that fantasy scene in High Fidelity where they hit Tim Robbins in the face with a phone and his teeth come flying out of his mouth like candy corn.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, July 7, 2009 5:59 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

this just happened btw

the vision, not the smashing

wfs

(fatally)

had the urge to edit program bios such that the lists of names, awards, and such were replaced by "blah blah blah"

working retail is like an aphrodisiac for imps

^^ shit yeah. Followed closely by jobs involving customer service.

^^ wait that was fairly redundant.

"that fantasy scene in High Fidelity where they hit Tim Robbins in the face with a phone and his teeth come flying out of his mouth like candy corn"

I don't remember this movie being that cool!
For what it's worth that's a better fantasy than say opening your own record store with Jack Black.

what if you opened a record store with Jack Black and then threw records at him ninja-style?

and he caught every single one in his mouth and ate it

and then his stomach exploded and record shards intermixed with internal organs and whatever he had to eat for the last two days splashed against the storefront window?

and then he [img]http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/hititjackblackanim4os.gif[img]

dammit why no fucking bbcode warning

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/hititjackblackanim4os.gif

all 'high fidelity' related fantasies end in violence...

All Jack Black-related fantasies end in the violent death of Jack Black. For good reason.

Isn't there scene in Wanted where the guy smacks his boss across the chops with a keyboard and the keys spell out "fuck you"?

I sometimes amuse myself by considering how painful it would be to put one's head in front of the train and cop a glancing blow.

Whenever I'm at the platform waiting for a tube I always wonder if I can successfully evaluate the point at which it's slowed down enough to not, y'know, kill me, but is still moving fast enough for a good firm wtf wakeup smack. I doubt that I could tbh.

For probably the same reason I would like to try being waterboarded.

that gif makes it look like his stomach is about to explode.

just stand close to the end of the platform imho.

or do like a run up the wall backflip as it goes by

get nutted by a door indent as the thing's pulling to a halt

sometimes i think about how easy it would be in almost any situation to suddenly do or say something -- not necessarily something violent or actually physically harmful, just very inappropriate -- that could have huge consequences. just how thin the line is. like, one moment i'm joe respectable citizen, just here looking over the display cases at a jewelry store, and the next i could just pick up a chair and throw it through the window and suddenly my life would be different.

(this has been reinforced for me by interviewing people in prison. they were just going along, living their life, until one day they decided to do maybe just one thing, and suddenly that thing -- which maybe only took a few minutes, or an hour -- defines their entire life.)

OK I'm sorry but I have to and HH I hope that you won't be mad I'm posting this because while maybe not an IMP, this is still pretty great:

[18:37] Heave Ho: i get persistent visions of people fouling their clothes
[18:38] Heave Ho: though that is prolly not what you're talking about
[18:39] Me: how do you mean?
[18:39] Heave Ho: when i'm talking to them
[18:39] Heave Ho: i imagine that they are incontinent
[18:39] ME: hahahaha ok
[18:39] ME: that's funny
[18:40] Heave Ho: mostly when i've not had a good nights sleep
[18:40] Heave Ho: gtg bye

^^^yeah you're always only one action from irreversible change, this feeling becomes especially acute when fatally fast and massive things like cars or trains are whizzing by

why, i have some scissors on my desk right now

xp

Khariq, if yr reading this, <3

btw - That exchange was completely out of the blue. Imps discussion bringing ppl out of the woodwork!

I don't reall know if that qualifies as an imp thing but I have a very common thing where I think about falling down and smashing my jaw : like walking down the street I see myself falling on the pavement, or in the bathroom I imagine slipping and my jaw smashing against the sink or whatever.
There is one urge I've had and actually indulged in : closing my eyes while driving on the highway for a few seconds at a time.

(07-07) 15:28 PDT Rising Sun, Md. (AP) --

A Delaware man faces drunken driving charges after he was pulled over for speeding in northeastern Maryland and a sheriff's deputy noticed he wasn't wearing any pants. A spokesman for the Cecil County Sheriff's Office says 41-year-old Jonathan Schultz "was driving commando."

The spokesman, Lt. Bernard Chiminto, said Schultz was stopped Saturday near Rising Sun for going 69 mph in a 50-mph zone.

The deputy smelled alcohol and noticed that Schultz was partially covered by a towel from the waist down. The Newark, Del., resident told the deputy he'd lost his pants, but the deputy didn't find any pants in the car.

I thought that "commando" referred to wearing no underwear, not wearing no pants.

There is one urge I've had and actually indulged in : closing my eyes while driving on the highway for a few seconds at a time.

I've done this while cycling. It may or may not be indirectly the cause of me very almost dying that one time and winding up with a whole bunch o' bitchin scars. LOLOLOL Ignore ur imps!

It's tough to ignore those bastards, they're loud! But yeah I usually don't do what they tell me to, except for the three or four times I did actually close my eyes. I'm pretty sure I don't really wanna die on a highway with my eyes closed.

Also, it's not really what's being talked about in this thread, but I keep having flashes of the same things. Like smashing my jaw like I said upthread. Or, when I step into a room, I often spend like a second or two thinking about a ball bouncing against all the corners of the room, checking to see if it's possible for the ball to do so.

Plz tell the imps in my brain it's too early to open the tequila.

forever quelling the urge to hit the wee x when downloads are at 99%

working retail is like an aphrodisiac for imps

― a sad little creature (latebloomer), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 6:02 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This isn't really about stopping myself from doing stuff that my mind tells me to do, but rather about this constant, involuntary chattering noise that used to be inside my head. I worked at a video store for a while and whenever I was shelving videos, my fucking brain would choose one of the vowels from the title and howl it out as an "o" like the dog from the cookie crisp commercial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipzgLVydkMs&feature=related

So like I'd be walking around this long wall, day after day, with hundreds of movies and they'd be resounding in my head like:

Bruce AlmOOOOOOOOOOty!!!
DrOOOOOOmcatcher!!!
Lord of the ROOOOOOngs!!!
My Big Fat Greek WOOOOOOOdding!!!
SOOOOOOOOcretary!!!

Fuck! Agggggh. Jesus. I've never told anybody that.

LJ - I miss you.

Woah, I didn't even realize little guy was gone.

My mind has taken to replacing the word "crazy" with the rapper name "C-Rayz Walz". And considering that I use the word "crazy" like a 1920s jazz man... God, will ECT help with this?

i have a theory that it's impossible to have imps/earworms/any number of mental maladies while doing hard math in your head, and another theory that mathematicians are too good at math, and need successively harder problems not to go mad, and that's why they go mad so often.
maybe cure is worse than disease though?

wow kkvgz that's really c-rayz walz

c-rayz walz was no pumpkinhead

A few years back I remember it seemed like there was a mild ilx obsession with the british ASBO, or Anti Social Behavior Order, which is part of their legal system. I don't think people even talk about it much these days. But the idea of it worked it's way into my brain and began to take over, such that it sometimes creeps into my brain in the form of "ASBOlutely!" or even "Anti Social Behavior Order - lutely!"

missed your true calling as a writer of tabloid newspaper headlines imo

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/70964/TV-show-is-font-colorredAsbofontlutely-fabulous.html