Thread for making up stupid statements that are lies of varying banality, aiming at forming ones of relatively low interest.

I invented a language and it is the English language.

I once worked as a security guard.

Chickens have four-chambered hearts.

First statement here is too obviously a lie, everyone knows English was actually invented in 1872 by Jonathan English.

I am a Yankees fan.

My neighbor's house is really a mess.

Angiosperms have been around longer than gymnosperms.

There's a McDonald's a block away from my house.

I have a cracked fingernail.

I shelve my books alphabetically.

i used to own a pet turtle.

Cups can't be made of metal.

I once kicked a home run in an office kickball game.

In Alabama it's illegal to wash your car on Sunday.

The FedEx guy is here.

Scotland is fake.

I overslept this morning.

Otters are stupid.

The Chinese character for 'crisis' is also its character for 'monster truck.'

When looked at closely, greenfly are in fact a shade of yellow.

tarring and feathering tickles

I have eaten coelcanth.

I got my hair cut today.

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D01112007

Hat sales remained steady throughout the first half of the 1980s

The laundry machines in my building are yellow.

ok ok I'll bite what color are they really

white.

when i was a kid i had a pet snail named slimer.

Sean Connery's accent lended itself very well to proper pronunciation of Japanese in "Rising Sun."

The word 'bibliophile' can be used to denote either those who enjoy books or those who are fans of bibs.

Chewing gum is actually a rare form of seaweed.

A red towel will dry you off more quickly than a white towel.

Pigs are drawn to laughter.

I believed that the Sun and the Moon were the same object until yesterday.

U.S. currency is composed of 96% wood pulp, 2% cotton, 1% rayon, and 1% potato skin.

During the early days of the cultivation of champagne, monks believed that the bubbles were caused by angel farts.

Despite common belief, microwave ovens do not actually heat food. Rather, they utilize radiation to destroy cold particles that exist naturally within food.

I'm eating brussell sprouts right now- damn they are so tasty.

Also, a friend of mine talked to Karen today.

Dennis Wilson once shared a cab with Dean Martin.

The word 'clothing' is required to be embroidered or embossed on all garments sold commercially.

Law is an enriching field to work in.

Water in its natural state is a pinkish hue. The color is removed through a chemical 'decolorization' process at most water filtration plants.

My car keys are in my other pants.

Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat Beer is pretty good.

The first sandwiches were simply a post-Depression indulgence in eating two slices of bread at once. It wasn't until the 'Summer of Love' in 1987 that the sandwich as we know it today was born.

america was built by white men. pat buchanan says so!

I'm a moderator on ilxor.com

Alexander The Grape is my favorite Otter Pop.

Techni-Cert is the leading manufacturer of machined washers in northern New Hampshire.

Deric you are v good at this!

too good, I think he's telling the truth

I need to check the DSM-IV and see which psychological illness is defined by a facility towards making stupid, uninteresting statements that are lies.

Parachutes are woven in rooms with a higher than normal helium-to-oxygen ratio, which ultimately serves to slow the descent of the parachutist.

Ernest Borgnine is the unheralded creator of the McGriddle.

Some of these statements are actually kind of interesting, and therefore have no place here

Telephones are designed to ring a maximum of 47 times in a row.

^^^see now that is interesting though
xp to the borgnine one

"I need to check the DSM-IV and see which psychological illness is defined by a facility towards making stupid, uninteresting statements that are lies."
it's Korsakoff's Syndrome! urrr I mean it's Lovitz's Syndrome. Yeah that's the ticket!

Insulated copper wire costs $0.02 less per yard to manufacture than uninsulated copper wire.

Electrolyte content in sports beverages can only be measured by specially-trained electrolyte-sniffing dogs.

srsly Deric you are making my day

Thanks, Abbott! I'm just glad that I'm finally getting the chance to make use of my college education.

The original rendition of 'Happy Birthday' utilized the line 'Happy birthday for you' rather than 'Happy birthday to you'.

The robot in Short Circuit was named after the writer's five sons, all named Johnny.

The prescription drug Ambien is simply common talcum powder in tablet form.

The original name of Campbell's Soup was Campbell and Sons Soup Company.

The tropical climate of southern France prevents residents from growing facial hair.

People of Slavic heritage a genetically predisposed to gout, as well as liver and gallbladder problems.

Metallica was meant to be called Metallic, but due to Hetfield's unfixable, constant '-ah' suffixing, they could only be called Metallic-ah.

The Basques have a traditional beer: a triple bock called Gueryarzikal.

some of these are perhaps too interesting, no?

"People of Slavic heritage a genetically predisposed to gout, as well as liver and gallbladder problems."
wait this one's true, right?

Anyway, back to dull: I am wearing socks.

The Basques have their own traditional beer: a dull, unnamed, flavorless ale.

Better?

Much! :-D

The common brown bear, when thoroughly washed, is actually a dull grey.

Feel like screaming tbh

Sometimes it's just like if i have to deal with another stupid customer...... you know??

God i need some coffee

omg did you see makaela on friday? like.. someone's going clubbing or maybe to an orgy lol

yeah dave wants it done by tomorrow morning, so if you can shoot me what you have i'll throw something together.

hehe we went to see DEF LEPPARD on friday. i know, it was so awesome. sarah LOVED them growing up

My mother cooks the best steaks. like, THE BEST.

Spencer Pratt volunteers at a homeless shelter on weekday mornings.

The posture required by biking often causes mild pancreas damage.

Former President of the United States Grover Cleveland maintained the largest collection of pre-Civil War pearl buttons until 1935, when they were lost in a move.

In the New Testament the word "Jesus" is mentioned exactly 21 times

The teleprompter was actually invented by the R&D Department at 3M after a suggestion was made by a retiring sales manager in the posterboard department to find a more eco-friendly solution to dialogue delivery in live television and speeches.

Dollar bills have an actual value of $1.005. Banks apply this slight value discrepency towards their petty cash funds (used to purchase batteries, facial tissue, birthday cakes, and other 'employee-use' items).

The Italian language has three different words meaning "fourteen" - and none at all for "eleven"

Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor originally contained a Mozart sample which had to be removed due to copyright issues.

There have never been any manned missions to the Moon. All footage from NASA is fake and was actually shot on Mars.

Geraniums were called Germaniums until WWI, when anti-German feelings in the Engligh-speaking world resulted in a name change. Discussions were ongoing in the late 1930s to restore the original name, but with the rise of Hitler this plan was shelved. When the full horrors of the Nazi regime came to light in the 40s, the U.N. passed a resolution never to restore the name.

Thread for making up stupid, uninteresting statements that are lies.

Going to the beach this weekend!

I love artichoke!

Bolivia's leading export crops are parsley and light green parsley.

Due to a small and secret bug it's impossible to get banned from ILX on a Wednesday.

Rev. Peter O'Shaughnessey of Halifax, Nova Scotia has been the World's Fiddling Champ since 1974. Peter set the world record in 1982 with a phenomenal 15 fiddle strokes in a single minute.

Andrew W.K. (born Andrew Wigger Kibblets) (May 9, 1979) is an entertainer and rock musician from the United States.

Due to a small and secret bug it's impossible to get banned from ILX on a Wednesday.

― StanM, Tuesday, July 21, 2009 6:24 PM (21 minutes ago)

I'm totally going to test that one on you tomorrow.

Popular comic book hero The Incredible Hulk was originally to be named The Incredible Fuck by his creator, Stan Lee, before good taste and the Comics Code Authority forced a change.

The "plastic" used in most plastic shopping bags is in fact a low-grade synthetic rice paper.

Top British space-rock band "Hawkwind" once had a drummer called Paul Stokes, who left the band after a short tour of Belgium.

The claw hammer was mass-produced and sold a number of years before the design of the nail was finally perfected. Each claw hammer sold during that time came with a coupon for a free carton of the then still-unnamed fastening devices.

I swear I have started a thread almost exactly like this before, but I can't remember what I called it, and I don't care much.

That's not a lie, and so it's off-topic, but I said it anyway.

I did not learn to tie my shoes until I was 14, because of velcro.

The Romulan language in the franchise is based on Welsh.

Star Trek franchise!

I have a solar powered pencil sharpener.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday!

Right now everyone uses computers, but typewriters are making a comeback -typewriter sales have already doubled in the first 6 months of this year with respect to the last one.

Right on the equator line, toilets do not flush.

An unpublished Nostradamus manuscript was just discovered lest week. It contains several new prophecies, some pertaining to current events, such as Katherine Heigel's absence from the list of 2009 Emmy nominees.

House cats are neurologically incapable of aurally processing "f" sounds, rendering "Fluffy" a particularly ineffective name, ironically enough.

Rubbing toothpaste on a sunburn helps ease the sting.

They changed the soap used in the women's bathroom where I work.

This sentence has exactly five letters.

The book I'm reading right now uses roman numbering all the way to the end.

The word "palindrome" is a palindrome.

My headphones play music backwards.

I've been looking for my keys for the past hour.

this started well, but like 90 percent of these things are interesting statements now.

I am about to eat some toast.

If you purchase audio monitors with a $50 rebate they sound WAY better.

The zither is the national instrument of Thailand.

ˆˆÎ almost looked that up.

Television personality Rachel Ray prefers the classic design of the Hefty Cinch-Sak to the futuristic and streamlined Glad ForceFlex.

(The problem with being very ill-educated and generally underinformed is that I stand a good chance of accidentally making up a stupid, uninteresting statement that is, in fact, true.)

Laugh lines are known colloquially as 'squint dents' among the middle-aged residents of Ft. Lauderdale, FL.

Submarines are able to submerge beneath the surface of a body of water via a combination of increased gravity and Manipulation of the magnetic field along the sea bed.

Puppet diva Madame was granted honorary citizenship in Budapest, Hungary, which technically affords her the same status as any living person while within the confines of the city.

Soap does not work.

Mama's Family is based on the life of Mary "Mama" Wilkinson, an Alabama waitress who was pen pals with Vicki Lawrence.

Tang beverage mix had a hint of artificial lemon flavoring upon its inception. This was discontinued six months later in favor of just the artificial orange flavor with which we are familiar today.

In terms of overseas shipping to certain countries such as Guam and Albania, the quantity of ink used in printed matter determines whether it is classified as a dry good or a liquid.

The International Timekeeping Council begins the recording of a new year at 12:01:05 AM GMT on January 1, rather than at 12:00:00 AM. This slight delay is said to be of high utility to commercial fishing vessels in the Atlantic but goes unnoticed by the general populace.

Mama's Family is based on the life of Mary "Mama" Wilkinson, an Alabama waitress who was pen pals with Vicki Lawrence.

― Unengaging And Occasionally Confusing (Deric W. Haircare), Wednesday, July 22, 2009 6:04 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

oh man there's a huge risk that I'm gonna just think this is true now whenever I think of Mama's Family (which is like twice a year at least).

not enough of the statements on here are uninteresting

or should I say, many of the statements here are banal enough for this thread

\They changed the soap used in the women's bathroom where I work.

― she is writing about love (Jenny), Tuesday, July 21, 2009 7:52 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

See I don't believe this for one second.

The "fit and proper person" test for Football League chairmen will now be extended to exclude anyone who has been barred from an internet message board for a peroid of more than six months.

Milk chocolate isn't really chocolate because it has milk in it.

The word 'handsome' used to be spelled 'hansom' prior to the advent of the hansom cab. The spelling was changed to eliminate the confusion elicited by referring to someone as a 'hansom man'. Due to the waning use and popularity of the hansom cab, there is a movement afoot among certain segments of the linguistic cognoscenti to restore the original spelling of 'handsome'.

Despite what many believe, the 'lite' in the name of many light beers does not refer to a reduced caloric content. Rather, the 'lite' is used to indicate that said 'lite' beer weighs less per litre than a similar, non-'lite' beer.

A cup of white tea before a bath can reduce somewhat the 'pruning' that results naturally in the fingers and toes in the course of a long soak.

Staplers should be thoroughly polished fortnightly to encourage steady and sure stapling. This suggestion is printed on the instruction sheet of every stapler sold (by decree of the International Stapling Guild).

The fourth ingredient in Kellogg's Rice Krispies is sugar.

Actress Donna Pescow suffers from chronic halitosis.

Information No results found for "international stapling guild".

LOkK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! ^^^

Penzoil Motor Oil is sold in yellow containers because the CEO's dog was a golden labrador retriever.

The cafeteria at the Canton, OH transit hub for Fed Ex serves turkey pot pie every third Thursday.

After decades of research, a small team of scientists discovered a chemical compound which stimulates the olfactory nerves in precisely the same way as fresh air. This compound is the main ingredient in Febreeze.

Bricks manufactured today can be distinguished from bricks created in the first half of the 20th Century by comparing the coloring. Early 20th Century bricks were more of a salmon color, while today's bricks are a deep burgundy.

Roseanne Barr's first time in front of an audience was teaching her girl scout troupe how to make cast-resin grapes.

1975 saw the highest production of books of wallpaper samples in US history.

Mick Ronson collects an annual royalty check of $.37 for performing in a commercial for Ronson Lighter Fluid that only airs during the annual convention of Ronson Lighter Fluid marketing managers.

Sam Thurber of Newport News, VA owns the original molds used to create the foam latex exterior of E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial. The molds lie under a workbench in his basement, covered in mildew and sawdust.

The wealthiest citizen of Gas City, IN is a graduate of Purdue University who patented Prickly Pear Purée.

Rex Barnaby Allen, inventor of the electric seatbelt tightener, fantasized about using the device to strangle his wife.

Ten of the actors who played zombies in Night of the Living Dead owned Lincoln Continentals.

35% of 5th Graders in the state of South Dakota think Cool Ranch Doritos are delicious.

As dictated by founder James Harrison, every V.P. of Harrison Gas in Spokane, WA is tasked with arranging the weekly delivery of a deli plate to be enjoyed by the maintenance staff of Harrison Gas.

I dropped a 5p coin behind my cooker last year. I can't be bothered to retrieve it, but it sympathetically vibrates every time I play Close To The Edge by Yes, thus adding an unwanted percussion track to the album.

I coined a hilarious nickname for listerine drunks, but I can't remember it right now.

All four of the principal actors on television's Seinfeld are Scorpios.

Green plastic lawn chairs are made of a different kind of plastic than white plastic lawn chairs.

The designer of the classic coiling telephone cord ate a BLT for lunch every day for a year.

xp - What a disaster for Scorpios.

The mezzanine of the Palais de Papes can hold up to 30 people at one time.

The Italian dish "polenta" was named for a comely mare nicknamed Lenta who regularly romped on the banks of the Po river.

Mirrors do not actually reflect human faces. Rather, the substrate beneath the glass contains a rare silicate compound which is particularly effective in stimulating an hallucinatory image of oneself based upon a vague notion (stored in the amygdala) of what one feels he or she should look like. All inanimate objects surrounding the subject in the mirror, however, are actual reflections.

The first big rig truck driver to put the naked lady silhouette mud flaps on his truck had a dog named Ollie that liked to pee on the latest issue of Good Housekeeping magazine.

Pieces of crunchy Cheetos and puffy Cheetos on average contain the same mass.

Serrated edges on knives are, in fact, accidental.

Cream of wheat is actually more of a paste derived from pulping wheat, which is then dehydrated.

Some of these are actually quite interesting.

Size 9.5 shoes cost more to produce than size 9 shoes.

one atom separates silver from nickel

kosher bagels do not have holes in the middle, except on saturdays.

the honey that bees make is rich in uranium

Rust flakes from the hulls of large ships have raised the sediment level of the Arabian Sea bed 7 millimeters over the course of the last 75 years.

blu-ray discs are unavailable in alaska, georgia and maine

Red Auger, Texas (pop 7422) has the highest per capita concentration of bisexual Methodists in the world. Roughly 1/6th of the population engages regularly in what is named in a regional colloquialism "the sweetest science."

The blu-ray special edition of Shampoo has a commentary by director Hal Ashby

To qualify as a "tote" bag, a bag must have two handles.

My uncle Walt lost his penis to a rabid otter.

Every morning, my uncle Walt uses denture glue to affix a freshly boiled Rigatoni above his scrotum to help direct the flow of his urine.

Every lunch break he replaces it.

For a joke, my aunt Linda sometimes sneaks a pea inside the pasta before Walt has a chance affix it.

Only on days he does not wear his nice suit, though.

What is wrong with you?

euler I think that is actually true, sorry but you have been disqualified :(

Walt also suffers from PSTS (posterior-superior transposition syndrome), a condition affectionately known as 'front-butt'.

During the first Gulf War, Walt was employed by the Department of State as special economic liaison to Qatar. He used his influence to traffic cheap faux-religious trinkets to a warehouse he co-owned in Virginia, which he opened as the dollar store called PRICE QATAR.

My Uncle Walt was sued for $1 in symbolic damages by a much-beloved local chain, PRICE CUTTER, though he asserts to this day that the homophonic similarities of the two names was wholly unintentional.

Uncle Walt wears a rice paddy (Sampan) hat, teal terry-cloth bathrobe, and varicose support hose when he checks the mail in the morning. For safety, he carries an antique Luger P08 tucked into the hose.

Just because it's true doesn't mean it's not a lie (i.e. my intention was deception, but I fucked up and got it right). Anyway, here's another:

Most machines used to make sugar cubes were built in Belgium.

most American ilxors are familiar with the squat, rugged stone walls surrounding old farmers' fields. but did you know that in 1850 these walls were, on average, about chest high (4 feet)? following the Civil War, many of the structures were partially dismantled; the loosened stones were carted off and used to build railroads and bridges. by 1895 the average stone wall stood about 2-½ feet tall, and today the figure rests at just over 2 feet.

a lot of these posts read like outtakes from gullible.info. not a bad thing, mind.

Some of these are actually quite interesting.

The acid test should be putting the phrase "interestingly enough" at the beginning of the statement. If it's not clear that you're being ironic, your statement is too interesting.

Mahogany and apricot are the only Crayola colors that actually contain trace amounts of the object to which the color's name refers.

If someone told me the drugs in the mirror one, preceding it with "interestingly enough," my mind would be blown.

Brownies are actually flavored with extract from brownie tree bark

After dating briefly in the 90's, Parker Posey dumped Liev Schreiber after he kept peeing in her shower

a poultice of radish greens and tarragon can be applied to insect bites to reduce swelling

Last year the name "Shannon" was the 867th most popular name for girls born in the US.

many japanese restaurants will prepare tempura roses upon request

the canine brain actually processes olfactory information via the visual cortex

ancient egyptian royalty often wore cosmetics made with mashed human and animal placentas, believing it would promote longevity

Two carrots contain the same amount of protein as a 16 oz. porterhouse steak.

cat urine is odorless

The "rustling" of dry leaves is actually a mild hiss that's produced as the leaves release moisture into the air.

Some of these are very Charlie Brown'esque. Like ^^

The average height of stand-up comedians is 5'6".

william shakespeare's mother was turkish

(That might actually be true...)

Correction: The average height of stand-up comedians is 4'6".

I will not be attending the 2009 Gathering of the Juggalos

Formica is produced using a resin secreted by African Weaver Ants, hence the name.

Fish food can be taken internally as a niacin supplement.

My friend Scott became way more popular with the ladies after he stopped wearing Wrangler jeans.

The thread title wasn't fixed by me.

After a gross overestimate in the public's interest of the Rachel Ray 'Garbage Bowl,' the surplus (which is estimated to be in the six-digit range) was buried in the Rock Springs, Wyoming, garbage dump and covered over with concrete.

Sonora, Mexico, produces its own regional variation of kimchee with tomatillos, in addition to the traditional cabbage and radishes, which is buried wrapped in corn husks. This happened after an influx of Koreans immigrated to Hermosillo in the 1840s.

Are you equating Rachel Ray's Garbage Bowls to the legendary Atari E.T. video game fiasco? Which thing is meant to suffer by the comparison?

Don't forget Apple Lisas, which were definitely not buried in Logan, Utah! Also quit telling the truth.

ur.... the garbage bowls routinely fetch astronomical sums by collectors who keep early 2000s-era food scraps to put in it, whereas normal people use an emulated garbage bowl on modern bowlware?

Also, Rachel Ray tips generously on that $40 a day show.

i am such a slut

Ceramic is a favored material in the manufacture of toilet bowls due both to its natural antibiotic properties and its natural fresh evergreen scent.

really enjoying deric w. haircare's contributions to this thread

Elmer's Glue has been fortified with calcium to benefit the very young children who are known to eat it.

In most cases, hot dogs and hot dog buns are comprised of the same ingredients in differing proportions.

I would thank you, Matt P, but I am incapable of gratitude due to a deficiency of zinc oxide in my pituitary gland.

The disproportionately-high number of wire hangers sold in Costa Rica correlates directly with disproportionately-low number of television antennae imported per capita.

Tacos were first created as a side dish by the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain in 1957. Although unsuccessful at the time, the taco began to see a resurgence of popularity in the mid-1960s. The finely-crafted mythology, created by the KFC marketing department, regarding the supposed Latin American origin of the taco took root and is believed by many today to be fact.

i have mixed feelings about celine dion

ALF was originally intended to be a dramatic series which would depict the ongoing struggles of an extra-terrestrial to survive on an inhospitable planet. However, the off-camera antics of the man inside the ALF costume, Reggie Mawkley, so amused the crew that they had trouble getting through a take without breaking into laughter. An ingenious executive had the idea of adding a laugh track to the supposedly-ruined takes. Although the original dramatic tone was never changed throughout the course of the series, few members of the home audience ever noticed.

i am sand

I was disturbed to find The ALF and KFC and Mexican Kimchee lies are actually true in spirit, save for some minor details.
(ALF's creator Paul Fusco was maniacal about presentation of ALF's public persona as if it were a dramatic enterprise,
Taco Bell has convinced millions that it is genuine Mexican food,
Hawaiian box lunches often have localized versions of East-Asian food thanks to early migrant worker influx)

(You are obviously more well-versed in actual fact than I am, good sir.)

(Philip the Mexican kichee idea came from the German immigrants to Mexico in the late 1800s who introduced polka stylings, which brought about mariachi music.)

(Don't tell anyone!)

The Isle of Wight used to be attached to the mainland by a narrow corridor of sandstone known as the Aisle of Wight.

John Waters originally directed Painlevesque scientific documentaries for school children

xp don't you mean the Aisle of White?

Australopithecus Boiseii was named after the locale where it was initially unearthed: the liberal north end of Boise, Idaho.

yah oops. thx. xpost.

German brewing laws allow only 6 ingredients to be used in the manufacture of lager: water, hops, barley, yeast, blood and soil.

The record for the world's smallest bible was disputed in 1986 when it was discovered that the then-current record holder was simply a volume of microscopically hand-written "Lorem Ipsum Dolor" text.

My milkshake brings all the dogs to the yard.

"German immigrants to Mexico in the late 1800s who introduced polka stylings, which brought about mariachi music."
"German brewing laws allow only 6 ingredients to be used in the manufacture of lager: water, hops, barley, yeast, blood and soil."

those crazy Germans!

(No the first one is actually seriously true)

I was gonna say I thought the polka thing was true, it's really easy to hear.

This is true of conjunto style songs/bands, most specifically, which I think people in the U.S. are most familiar with.

truth is banaler than fiction?

(banaler is a word)

The mandibles of a bull ant are 100% platinum.

Euglena anabaena is the only protozoa with the capacity to experience Jealousy.

St Louis does not actually exist, it was first added to the 1811 map of Missouri as a joke at the expense of bad-boy cartographer Louis Jaeger.

David Prowse was unavailable to film Return Of The Jedi, so George Lucas turned to Jim Henson's Creature Shop (the same company who had designed Yoda and Aunt Beru for him previously) and asked them to create a full-scale Darth Vader puppet. The results were so lifelike that Prowse sued for likeness rights (due to the assertion that the puppet's movements were modelled directly from Prowse's athletic performance in the titular role of the 1976 film, Tarzan And The Abominable Snowmen). Prowse was awarded $375,000 in the suit, but the legal move also had its downside. Lucas used his pull as a Hollywood mover-and-shaker to keep tabs on any role that Prowse was auditioning for. He would then arrange a meeting with the producers of the given project and, almost without exception, convince them that a David Prowse puppet would be more cost-effective in the role. The tragedy is that, until his reemergence in the Academy Award-nominated Hearts That Dare, the Prowse puppet got more work and earned more money post-1982 than Prowse himself did.

Zelda Pinkerton's recipe for meat rolls (introduced as a medium for dipping into various sauces) was published in the May, 1927 issue of Sauce Age magazine. The meat rolls were an instant smash and took on the colloquial name Sauce Age rolls as they were increasingly featured on the menus of New England eateries. The name stuck long after Sauce Age ceased publication and eventually evolved into the now-familiar permutation 'sausage'.

If you purchase audio monitors with a $50 rebate they sound WAY better.

― dice in my pockets (csa), Tuesday, July 21, 2009 10:19 PM (1 year ago)

I don't own a television set. I think television is bad for the mind.

I have read Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time

The iron is considered the luckiest of all monopoly pieces, although there is no known basis for this

I attended a Nirvana show in 1993.

i ate cheese off of a cop once

There are far more forks in the world than spoons.

With the correct application of the laws of forces/balance and auspicious meteorology, you can hang washing on a line without the need for pins.

Patrick Stewart started the first blog.

George Lazenby owns a holiday cottage in my village.

Garbage collectors are more likely to decorate their living quarters with Chinese lamps than any other occupational group.

Yosemite Sam's original name was Yellowstone Ike

The iron is considered the luckiest of all monopoly pieces, although there is no known basis for this

I like this – the "no known basis" bit gives it a real "email forwarded by my parent" sort of authenticity.

The technical term for a bagpipe player is 'cornamusist'.

I like this – the "no known basis" bit gives it a real "email forwarded by my parent" sort of authenticity.

Actually, the phrase I see the most of in those email forwards is "No one knows why."

I had a speaking part in four high school plays.

Those cute little geckos that you see clinging to interior house walls everywhere in South Florida have been bred to collect and report information about you to your insurance provider. No one knows why.

Two ounces of dry poop from a ten-pound hound dog can be smelled 150 feet away through a half-inch plate glass door. At least, that's what my neighbor seems to think. No one knows why.

I am very funny. No one ever thinks of the term "horribly formed joaks" when they see my posts. No one knows why.

Pistachios are known colloquially as "shit buttons" in most of the contiguous United States.

haha I see you found a thread to post to for the next few hours

Yeah, this one's a classic that should be eternally bumped.

Gary Burghoff was the highest paid cast member of M*A*S*H. He had invested his earnings from the M*A*S*H film in a lucrative basement flange fabrication shop and was reluctant to return to acting until the show's producers matched what he had been making. Burghoff generously turned the business over to McLean Stevenson in the midst of Stevenson's unsuccessful post-M*A*S*H career.

Kevin Durant is really a fictitious NBA player portrayed by two separate actors with magnificent athletic ability