DEATH IS THE NEW BLACK: ILX Gay Thread for Autumn 2009

how do I upload a photo from my desktop?

And should I wear a NEED A JOB t shirt on a booze cruise tomorrow? (and does KMart sell them)

upload a photo by creating a free account on photobucket.com

yes wear the shirt

i don't know about kmart

FUCKING HAPPY FALL!!!!!!

Lovely sentiment in that title. Maybe that's why I love autumn the best.

morbz, sign up to dropbox.com instead - it's way easier/better than photobucket or flickr. it creates a special folder on your desktop, any photos you want to make public you put in there, right click on a photo and go to 'copy public link' and that is the link you use on somewhere like here (along with image tags).

keep in mind that if you move the photos, the links will break (i.e. if you link to a photo from your dropbox folder, but then create another folder within dropbox and move the photo to that)

thx -- too much work! (I emailed the art in question to some ppl here)

I thought about calling thread THE DEATH OF EVERYTHING.

hello all.

1- nps, k3vin k1lli4n says hello-- we're reading john wieners this week.

THE DEATH OF EVERYTHING

Well, now that Precious won the TIFF audience award to go with its Sundance prize, it may at least be the death of detrius season.

you really are not gonna be happy til some annoying R&B diva becomes a movie star.

plus OPRAH is blowing her horn for Precious! not exactly the Little Movie That Could.

Make no mistake, my excitement to see Mo'Nique kick ass at the Oscars has absolutely nothing to do with the performance of the movie itself, which I can't imagine being anything but horrible.

hello again

http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/l/squeezebox_280408/nathan_carrera_1840818.jpg

yes, that's justin bond aka kiki. and on the left? whew.

ryan's going to see him tonight

and yeah the guy on the left could make me very happy

like, very

he needs to eat a hero sandwich

closest season-appropriate thing i can think of that they did:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eoDjKcZamM

i have gained 20 pounds in the past 4 months

i do not need to eat a hero sandwich

But Sur you are such a slip of a thing!

well girl not for long!

bread. fucking bread is the problem

bread and w33d.

bread > w33d

^^^

this. could not live without breadthings.

surm, are you allied with a "grower"? ;)

Favorite "death of summer" song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WumSB0vZ5l8

surm, are you allied with a "grower"?

Thinking of taking up a new hobby, Morbs?

On which end of the transaction? No.

Anyone see this forthcoming series?

http://www.arsenalpulp.com/eventinfo.php?index=151
http://www.arsenalpulp.com/pressreleases/QFCPressRelease.pdf

Their first three monographs will be released next month. They've got a relatively ambitious slate of future titles extending into 2015 (at the rate of three per year, granted, but that still adds up to 21 titles).

Titles they've shortlisted also, thankfully, bear almost no relation to the list of the best gay movies as chosen by AfterElton (which I won't link at all).

Trash
Law of Desire
Gods & Monsters
Farewell My Concubine
Montreal Main
Fire
Senso/Death in Venice
Zero Patience
Word is Out
Female Trouble
Paris Is Burning
Ma vie en rose
Before Stonewall/After Stonewall
Strangers on a Train
L.A. Plays Itself
C.R.A.Z.Y.
Arabian Nights
I've Heard the Mermaids Singing
Forbidden Love: The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Lives
Manila By Night
Scorpio Rising

yeah that list is about 1000x better than the afterelton list (which you'd think would at the very LEAST have, like, one john waters movie on it)

and yeah the guy on the left could make me very happy

― surm, Sunday, September 20, 2009 7:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

he was quite something, let me tell you. i was the sweatiest, happiest mess i've been in a while.

The AfterElton list single-handedly pushed me into Chris P. territory for about a half-hour.

wait what? you did sexy times with him? u need to shutup

i heard the jostin bond show was like amazing

haha ditto xp

anyway, last night i went to this poetry reading where i met all these young queer poets whom i hadn't met before, somehow, and then we went drinking and all sang "I've Got the World On A String." of course, i was a little loose and so i went to Honey at Paradise, where i saw every fag i've ever known in SF (practically), and made out with this boi who looked like he was going for a sort of skinhead fetishist look... then i lost him because monsieur sp3rber bought me a drink. i got sad because i lost skinhead kid, so i decided it was time to go home. i have to TA in an hour, and then work at XLR8R, and then go put a deposit down on my new house, and on top of this continue to not go insane with work and lust.

in other words, doing swell.

altho tbh i've never really been into the whole drag thing. i just feel like if i want to see that, i want to see like, a man who really really looks and acts like a woman. not a gay men playing dress up.

sorry that was a response to myself. sounds good tabes!

(zips lips about sexytimes)

that list is really good-- i've only seen like five of those! i sort of wish there was more hardcore pornography on it, because hey...

zips lips! ffs

i agree to some degree about the drag thing, surm, but sexytimes boi is more like a genderqueer troubadour. you should hear him sing, it's like there's fucking gold pouring out of his throat and going straight to your ears.

well, i certainly wouldn't put up a fight watchin him sing, honey child.

i sort of wish there was more hardcore pornography on it, because hey...

You and me both. C'mon, let's canonize Jack Wrangler and Casey Donovan along with John Waters and Paul Morrissey!

h-core zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I mean, come on: Pink Narcissus should be on that fucking list. Art-core porn. Or Guy Maddin?

I'm glad they're not doing Brokeback, though. That would have made me furious.

Also, elmo's tumblr really is excellent. All around me, the queers are talking about satan and cocks.

Yes, I only wish I could check it at work.

I'd gladly swap Pink Narcissus for Gods & Monsters.

Hi, gays. Nice thread. Life sucks, but I'm watching Now, Voyager for the third time tonight.

Could this thread have started out more Boys in the Band?

Or ended.

Haven't seen it, but I presume the ending of Boys in the Band is happy (for the audience).

I've never watched BITB because I'm afraid it will turn me straight.

A very thin line separates me from straightness these days.

That thin line being, I guess, asexuality.

thanks for the tumblr props, table. tbh i've been far more active on tumblr than ilx lately -- too much crummy life shit been preoccupying my mind lately. easier to post menswear / vintage beefcake / esoterica images than to actually engage in thoughtful discussion. :\

I'd love an explanation of the bloodied shirts and goat meat, tho.

I presume the ending of Boys in the Band is happy (for the audience)

guess again

Meaning happiness that the movie's over, obv.

eric, i'm not sure i have a good explanation for either of those things, lol. one of the shirts pictured was the one JFK wore the day of his assassination -- just free associating from there about myth, memory, ritual sacrifice, sacred garments. the picture of the goat meat i thought was just a great photo.

probably revealing a bit much about how my mind works but hey there you go

i like the way your mind works. i would like to drink beer with you sometime.

Boys in the Band is far more rollicking entertainment than retardo Italian horror films.

Kevin k*ll*an, Long Island, meets Eileen Myles, Tim Dlugos 1979, San Francisco 1980, writing through cloud of sex, drugs, strong drink and then the curtain begins to fall on a fabulous world, death toll mounting, 1982 meets Bob Glück, 1983 meets Dennis Cooper, 1984 first friend dead, Reagan re-elected, 1985 marries Dodie Bellamy, first enemy dead, death of Rock Hudson, 1986 Grammy award Song of the Year "That's What Friends Are For," 1987, reign of terror, AZT approved by FDA, ACT UP founded NYC, 1988 death of Sam D'Allesandro, election of George Bush, 1989, Dennis writes "AIDS ruined death," 1990, empty, futile, importunate life, first boy Kevin ever loved dead Richmond VA, 1991 Kevin frozen, unable to think of a way to write about AIDS crisis, 1992 Kathy Acker suggests films of Dario Argento as a prism through which to take apart horror of living and dying in AIDS era, election of Clinton, death of Steve Abbott, Argento Series born, 1993 death of David Wojnarovicz, death of Bo Huston, 1994 FDA approves wide range protease inhibitors, 1997 death of Acker, "I saw something important I can't remember"

Reformatting the camp horror and highly stylized beauty of the work of Italian filmmaker Dario Argento (Dawn of the Dead; Trauma; etc.), influential San Francisco-based poet and playwright k*ll*an (Little Men) bends the rays of his experiences with friends and lovers killed by AIDS through the filmmaker's lens: "The killer lives next door to a little blond boy who plays with insects; a butterfly watches him play and we see the boy from the butterfly's point of view." Such descriptive prose passages based on Argento contrast formally with various poems that retain strong narrative elements, with autobiography emerging not within horror's stock tropes (one doomed speaker "felt this stab in my head/ a red explosion of blood vehicles, brain flack") and in other pop variants including song lyrics: "I met him on a Sunday/ and he taught me how to skip/ week days, smoking his weed." The work drifts between an inventory of past loves and deaths and a present San Francisco in which these are remembered during bus rides and conversations: "Half of event is therapy.... The other half of event is trauma." Key elements are po-biz gossip ("Frenchmen/ love Cole Swensen: she's so thin and she's/ got that haircut"), proper names (of movie stars in particular) and an eclectic vernacular that emerges like prize T-shirts: "Hey, goombah, c'mere." All of these techniques work both to propose and to complicate pathos "ten minutes later he spotted a rainbow/ even then hoary cliche of gay experiential camaraderie" in a work that inventively imagines linkages between desire, memory and media. (July) Forecast: k*ll*an is coauthor (with Lewis Ellingham) of Poet Be Like God: Jack Spicer and the San Francisco Renaissance, along with various small press books and reviews. This book should be reviewed in national small press-oriented journals. Look for a Lambda nomination as well.

boys in the band is a bunch of bullshit-- argento is great.

I turned down the opportunity to get a lot of phone numbers by hosting trivia night at a gay bar. Clearly, I really can not be saved.

This is gonna be one of those days when none of my threads gets any posts.

would you have had to devise the rounds yourself?

we had an audio round once where they played a song and you had to identify the musical from which it came. my straight roommate got seven out of ten right. (only one i knew that no one else on my team got was "send in the clowns" = a little night music, but that's kind of my favorite showtune ever so.)

iirc he also was able to identify eight out of ten brands of jeans based solely on the stitching on the back pocket (i was not even aware that this was some kind of distinguishing trait of jeans brands and i pretty much only wear pants made out of denim)

we had an audio round once where they played a song and you had to identify the musical from which it came.

This was a round at a non-gay pub quiz I go to, except it was kind of bullshit because it was all contemporary stuff like Wicked and Chicago and none of the showtunes that were in my Reader's Digest Treasury of Great Showtunes book of sheet music that I had as a kid.

audio rounds i have created: other songs by one-hit wonders (this was totally ill-conceived and disastrous), songs about bad times/unemployment/poverty (recession-themed round), non-french songs that have french language in them (for a france-themed round), autumn-themed (inc. tracks by fall out boy and the fall lol)

amazing audio round that my friend created that i wished i'd been there for: songs that feature the "bacardi/party" rhyme (no team got more than four of these right apparently)

would you have had to devise the rounds yourself?

Nope, all the dirty work would've been done by someone ahead of time. All i'd have to do is deliver questions to those attending and count up scores and basically just be a host.

That's too bad, you could've done movie questions from the AfterElton list (know your audience)

from the Sunday NY Times' mag article "The Right Way to Pray?":

Reform Judaism is nothing if not responsive to changing times. Recently its liturgy incorporated a special prayer for people undergoing sex-change operations. And a predominantly gay synagogue in San Francisco, Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, has composed its own prayer to be said after anonymous sex. “In the dark, in a strange place, our father Jacob encountered a stranger with whom he grappled all night,” a reference to the Biblical story of Jacob wrestling with an angel. “He never knew the stranger’s name, yet their encounter was a blessing which turned Jacob into Israel and made him realize, I have seen God face to face.” The prayer asks God — “who created passion and wove it throughout creation” — to bless casual sex and turn it into a blessing “that allows us to both touch and see the Divine.”

Works for me.

g-d you gays are making me download the Mariah leak

RESIST

you might actually really like this one eric.

Too late. Luckily I have to finish writing about old Madonna before I can allow myself to listen to it.

(xpost)

And I ended up coming around somewhat on the last one. But still not Mimi, sad to say.

yeah then this one really might have a shot with you.

I always try to give Mariah a shot. I should like her more than I do, based on my tolerance for her brand of loopiness.

:) i'm glad at least you admit she's loopy

I absolutely never denied her that. :)

I can't quite make the leap either, surm. Her loopiness is predictable.

Haha, even used the word "loopy" in my last review of her.

http://www.slantmagazine.com/music/music_review.asp?ID=1351

I have to finish writing about old Madonna

She's billed as Old Madonna at last, eh?

I post news of an anonymous sex prayer, and look at this babble! G'night.

the ambiguous line between predictability and surprise is something good pop music couldn't do without.

My favorite Carey songs project a girlishness that's all too predictable, and no worse for it. I expect nothing more though.

I guess I just prefer my religion in the form of a banned Coca-Cola commercial, Morbs.

Though it does point up the fact that I absolutely NEED to settle down with a nice Jewish boy.

OK, Madonna's done and I'm giving the first few tracks of Mariah a listen. On first blush, this is pretty good.

:) :D

If it has to be not ridiculous, I'd prefer it sound like "Betcha Gon Know."

i root for mariah carey without ever wanting to listen to her that often

I mean, that vocal crack at 3:21 is wild. xpost

Love the bending synths in "Ribbon."

Bummer for there to be no uptempo tracks, tho.

isnt Betcha Gon Know amazing?

wait did u get to Up Out My Face yet? you gon know then

No, I have to go to bed and I'm on "It's a Wrap." The title gave me the motivation to get a good night's sleep. :)

I understand that "Obsessed" is probably the fastest track on the whole album, tho, correct?

I'm giving it two tits up so far.

yessir, correct. k nite sleepy

I'm going to have sweet dreams of ice cream and candy bling.

:P

blah, i am SOOO over madonna. i actually feel kind of ill whenever i hear her stuff now, except "borderline," which for some reason still charms me. otherwise, fuck madge.

Borderline is amazement.

i'm pretty much limited to the albums Madonna and Like A Virgin at this point.

This can still make me swoon (shitty quality of this video notwithstanding):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb18uagkEi4

hey not to disparage a touchstone of american faggotry or whatever but madonna myrmidons are the most tiresome creatures. i was once in a room of coked up queers fawning over the VF feature she posed for a couple years ago. the phrase "fierce at fifty" was used repeatedly. horrible.

"myrmidons" lol.

myrmidonnas

completely fucking agree. get a new idol.

also i can't believe you were around people that said fierce more than once, bravo for making it through

i have been listening to a lot of her less-ubiquitous early singles (e.g. "angel", "causing a commotion") of late, but yeah the slavering fangays need to go away

OTM. That new comp is a piece of shit. Why won't she put those two songs, "Hanky Panky," and "Gambler" on a damn box set?

and don't say "cuz they suck lol." She had room for "Who's That Girl?"

said fangays NEVER take up my suggestion to listen to any of those songs, either. guess it's not writ in the official madonna scriptures.

Suddenly feel a lot less guilty about liking Madonna generally, you dumb shits.

And liking debut album and Like a Prayer is by far the tiredest thing imaginable. Get one interest in Erotica, her best by light years.

"Borderline" is boring. "Lucky Star" and "Everybody" are the two monster tracks from that period.

Everything everyone has said on this thread over the last eight hours is RONG. "Causing a Commotion" and "Hanky Panky" are fine and all, but "Vogue" and "Express Yourself" shit all over them and I'm sorry if you've all heard them too much because you go to gay clubs a lot more often than I do, apparently.

calm down, eric.

liking the album Madonna is not boring. Liking Like A Prayer might be.

Borderline could never be called boring, that is a really unfortunate, shortsighted statement.

Erotica is awesome, and Vogue and Express Yourself are 2 of my favorite Madonna songs.

The debut album is definitely not tired in most circles. Most of my friends who "like Madonna" haven't even heard it in its entirity, and please skip the statement about how I'm hanging out with the wrong friends.

also, donna, Ryan and I have a few remixes of Angel that are fuckin awesome.

Also, Physical Attraction shits all over Everybody, fyi.

also Eric, i don't think anyone was saying that Vogue and Express Yourself aren't awesome. this isn't the sort fandom delirium i have a problem with. it's the party-boy, image-whore references to "Madge" being "fierce" and somehow representing the liberation of gaydom as a proud and public spectacle that i think is unoriginal, cheap and overplayed.

if anything, i don't listen to those songs much anymore because i listened to them too much as a kid in my bedroom, not because i go to too many gay clubs.

sorry for the multiple posts, but this is what you get when you call me a dumb shit -- be warned for the future.

fuck liberation of gaydom if liberation of gaydom involves worshipping pop stars.

still going!

Did I mention I had to squeeze past her and Sean making out in the aisle after Robin Williams' Metropolitan Opera show in '86? Coulda grabbed her ass (or his).

Own only The Immaculate Collection, and only saw her "perform" in a Mamet play.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/magazine/27out-t.html?_r=1&hp

Eric, stop constructing false dichotomies and listen to "Causing a Commotion."

this picture is amazing

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/09/27/magazine/27out.3-500.jpg

you're amazing

really admire these kids in general but esp the kid who is the lede of the story in the NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE

yo eric, never said i didn't like erotica, just that's what i've been listening to lately. what i said about "angel" et al. could easily apply to any number of songs from that album too. i don't remember the last time i've heard ANY madonna track that wasn't post-2000 in a gay club. (maybe "into the groove"?)

yeah man, it's good to go back. like a virgin album synths are so thick and bouncy and fun!

esp. title track. that song blows my mind.

that nytmag article is terrific. i've always meant to ask my recently-graduated little brother if the GSA is still around at our HS

it is nice that things are getting more accepting, and not to be a debbie downer, but i do worry about the mainstream gaysbian agenda (the HRC, etc etc) as well as gay corporate interests taking advantage of kids when they're so young. i mean, i definitely knew i was gay by the time i was 11, and all my friends knew from like 13 or 14 onward, but i was also into punk rock, allen ginsberg, being transgressive. i beat off to issues of XY, and then fetl bad-- not because i was gay, but because so much about that rag just REEKED of the worst kind of capitalism.

there's this great thing i just read in this book called "That's Revolting!" which involves Savin-Williams' study... here are some quotes from that study:

"The majority of young people with same-sex desire resist and refuse to identify as gay...Their desire is not to stand out 'like a semen stain on a blue dress,' but to be as boring as the next person, to buy an SUV and to fade into the fabric of American life."

"Young gay people have little interest in subverting American civilization."

The fact that the article uses this book/study as a major source is disappointing, especially since it seems that some of the teenagers profiled are definitely transgressive, more into fucking the social norm than becoming assimilated into it. I don't know...

by the way, the piece in the book then questions and sort of rejects Savin-Williams' view...or at least gives voice to its opposite.

also S4RGE IS BACK IN TOWN GOOD TO SEE YOU HOMIE.

finally: dennis c00per gave a shout-out to my blog today. i've never felt more awesome.

omg whoa! that's so fancy! nice work :D

u guys i'm drunk a little! like not too much, but enough that i want to be more drunk

...

Their desire is not to stand out 'like a semen stain on a blue dress,' but to be as boring as the next person...

Ha! If only being gay automatically made you interesting...

dennis c00per gave a shout-out to my blog today.

:o That's sumthin!

I am hesitant to read the NYTM article, just cuz the premise makes me feel all Quentin Crisp. (also, my sexual tastes were still pretty fluid -- ha ha -- at 12 or 14.)

My first love was a girl, but boys Catholic high school really fucked me up.

i was co-prez of my school's GSA and one of (i think) two openly gay students in it, but i was an under-the-radar enough presence that no one really bothered me. there were two kids, a guy and a girl, whom it was common enough knowledge were both gay but pretended to be a couple because they weren't ready to come out yet. there was also a pretty minimal freshman/sophomore presence so i'm really curious to know if it ever got off the ground beyond our graduating class. the whole "fuck yr boring straight civilization" thing, at least in terms of my school, still might be something of a tall order. we did the day of silence and were told by at least one teacher that we'd get a zero for not participating in class.

hah, even back then i preferred makeoutclub to the XY personals.

I saw this change happen in the difference between my high school years (i had girlfriends throughout high school and hooked up on the down low) and my brother's high school years (he was in the GSA, but was totally out and had boyfriends in high school). It was so bizarre to see the difference that having these GSA things can make for kids when they're that age. There's a lot less closet-case misery and fewer puzzled girlfriends, I'm guessing.

I guess I hope that kids can hold onto their individuality and weirdness and not jump on board the idea that being gay means Britney, hairgel, working out, certain kinds of clothes etc. Being punk rock and morbid in highschool was way more important to my identity than being a homo, and I would hate to think that the pressure not to admit the latter just produced the former as a kind of sublimation.

i dyed my hair pink and had piercings and listened to joy division but so did a lot of ppl in my HS tbh (if not all at the same time)

I had drama club.

middle school, i was totally in love with this girl in my class, even wrote her poems (which were discovered by her friends, resulting in much teasing.) when i got to high school i figured myself out a little more and shifted my adoration to her brother, who was captain of my wrestling team. ended up writing to him, too -- less poetry, more hopeless melancholy confessions. in retrospect it was all very embarassing and creepy, maybe kinda sweet, but definitely sad.

my high school's GSA had no members that were out. it was big news when the chorus teacher came out my senior year at a 'day of diversity.' later on, i kinda figured out that my wrestling coach was gay.

in short, my small, liberal-minded quaker private school was also a horrible place to be gay. lol lacrosse team

^^^ this is true. for all my quaker high school talked about diversity, there were still professors who hadn't come out, and a lot of kids, too. since i pretty much declared myself mostly gay but often fluid my freshman year, i didn't have many male friends, until people realized i was kind of a badass. (ha hah xpost)

i think dr3w put my concerns better than i put them— i really worry about kids holding onto their individuality, expecially when the aforementioned gaysbian corporate agenda seems quite eager to gobble all of them up whole...

(OH. and btw, when the author of the NYTM article mentions a 7th grader who was out at his middle school in terms of how things had changed? what the NYTM article didn't mention (that the XY article did, lol) was that the kid was outed by his best friend to everyone at the school, and made into a sort of pariah for a bit, but was accepted more fully within a few months. how do i know this? he went to my middle school, and we used to play together in the park growing up. very weird).

are middleschoolers actually concerned with expressing individuality, really? i'm sure most kids value the idea of self-expression but at that age, it is secondary to fitting in & being liked, imo.

talking generalities of psych development here, my apologies to any exceptions present

of course they're interested in expressing individuality, elmo, it's just that many are trying to figure out HOW. i also think that 'being liked' doesn't necessarily mean one has to forget about self-expression and individuality— i had plenty of friends throughout middle school, but it wasn't like i was some sort of uber-popular jock. i guess that to me, as long as kids have some friends, most are smart enough to know that the social climbing pressure of middle school is utter bullshit. but maybe i overestimate intellgence...i'm still friends with people i went to middle school with, so..

me too! i wanted to be an individual, and i think i was, but i was also SO scared of The Boys back then. fuckin assholes. anyway now i'm grateful for it, cuz it gave me the ammo to realize later on that i didn't have to kiss anyone's ass :D

once in 6th grade i brought Madonna's "Secret" to like a school pizza party. and the popular boy in class was like "oh put it on." and i was like that's weird, why are you being nice to me (he was always really mean). and then i put it on and he totally mocked it and made fun of me in front of everyone. it was really terrible. i wish i knew how to be a cunt then the way i do now!

I guess my main desire at that point was to "feel powerful", maybe more than being liked I wanted to feel that feeling that I thought other more confident people enjoyed. To me being into punk and heavy metal and industrial music was about fantasies of being evil, being a bad-ass, being something other than a scrawny virgin nerd wimp fag etc. Gay or straight tho, isn't adolescence often bound up with that, wanting to put up a front to others because you are unhappy and afraid of getting called out about your own failings, lack of control, lack of confidence? It's just that queer kids have one extra reason to hate themselves and fear exposure.

i'm sorry, isn't that what all of life is about? i guess i've been doing things wrong :P !

(only kidding to some extent)

yes dr3w...and surm... ha.

totally identify with the need to feel "powerful" though my avenue to those fantasies was occultism rather than music -- the "i am more spiritually advanced than thou and have arcane knowledge of the ancients" sort of thing. made friends with the tarot readers at the local spooky knick-knack shoppe, etc.

i guess, tho, that i did feel powerful in some ways, because i was smarter and felt more aware of what goes on in this country than most of my classmates. Larry Summers (yes, that Larry Summers) once came to my middle school and during the question period, i point-blank challenged him on free-market capitalist policies and watching him fumble around for an appropriate answer was one of the major triumphs of my middle school life, if not my life generally. i guess that i had an inkling that there were bigger fights to be involved in, and so i stopped caring what people thought about me and became 'powerful' in that way. tho of course a lot of kids thought i was totally insane.

you're cool

oh but i wasn't! i think that it was simultaneously harder and easier for me, too, because i'm an only child. i knew how to relate to and talk to people who were much older than me from the time i was pretty young, so that the stupidity of a lot of early adolescence wasn't lost on me. on the other hand, i read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies, if you know what i mean.

:) i wish i was your friend!! i would have made you laugh

yeah, you would have : D

this discussion has made me remember what a depressed little guy i was :((((

:(

i wouldn't wish middle school on my worst enemy

i hated changing for gym!

I'm going to just clarify my outburst. It wasn't about differences in taste, it was a reaction against (an admittedly very mild form of) the worst thing gay people do, which is to point at other gay people and go "I'm not as gay as that fag over there."

not true, really. i wasn't saying "i'm not as gay." i was saying "i'm not as empty and cliche in my celebration of culture and identity"

i have no opinion one way or the other about being very gay. some would say i'm as gay as they come. it's more about the behavior in particular.

altho who knows, maybe it's not empty. maybe those guys really do feel moved and inspird by madonna on some deep level. i don't know!

anyway i certainly don't think you're a silly person because you happen to love parts of madonna's career.

I was "queer' in many ways before I discovered my sexuality: my omnivorous reading, sarcasm, size, introversion. That's why the most interesting part of the NYT Magazine article is the question the reporter raised: is the open sexuality of these so-called queer middle schoolers merely more example of their dilettantism? I can sympthaize with parents who, after reeling from the news that little Johnny liked boys at twelve, might feel winded when high school Johnny likes the girl cheerleader after all.

I'm not even really that big a fan of Madonna. The gangpile just instigated an equal/opposite reaction in me, I guess.

I was "queer' in many ways before I discovered my sexuality

this. that said, i put shit together pretty fast, and distinctly remember knowing my preferred 'orientation' by 6th grade or so.

whoa, the westboro baptist dudes are going to be protesting in my (and ramzi's) area within the next hour!

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/09/kansas_hate_group_to_show_broo.html

I KNOW

wbc creeps were in RI recently, protesting in front of synagogues. fuckers sure do get around.

“Yo what’s up, God haters?” the protest announcement reads. “Why you teach ‘It’s OK to be gay?’ WBC will be on hand to teach the rebels of Brooklyn what good looks like, and you had better behave."

O_O

the backwardness and insanity of the westboro peeps is reprehensible to the point of absurdity. i wonder if they realize that even most ultra-right conservatives think they're totally fuckin nuts?

acc. to the article linked in the daily intel post, a bat mitzvah is scheduled today at one of the shuls they're protesting

hey gays, shd I go to dis launch party in Greenpoint?

http://pinupsmag.com/issue10launch.htm

I'm staying in tonight, but you should go!

didn't

to Folsom or not to Folsom? i'm moving on Tuesday, and should really pack and work all day... plus one leather fuckfest a year is okay by me. i might try to make it to Honey tonight, because Andy Butler is doing a DJ set, but who knows.

also, i've finally been informed of a shop that sells vintage porn mags. i am very excited for a visit... and perhaps a tumblr...

25th annual pride parade here in durham was the biggest ever yesterday. I started a big dance circle around the crazy Xian fundies on the street corners. love my town so much it was so awesome.

hope the HRC signed lots of people up for their new credit card!

if only they had some activist credit.

Folsom: after an hour, you've seen enough amazingly transgressive shit to write a thesis paper.

We'll fist in the sun-shiiiine...

I knew I was gay long before I knew anything about sex, probably as early as the third or fourth grade, but didn't live in a world where it was even remotely possible to talk about my feelings. To me the NYT article is encouraging, probably the best news I've heard in a long time on the gay rights front. These kids are paving the way for a (hopefully) future society that understands that sexual orientation is not just about sex but about identity.

Actually, it's just about sex. This is why I'm not turning handstands (haven't read the article yet, though.)

It IS about identity, which is why I'm half-convinced half the time I'm not gay.

no, you're just half-not-gayish. Like most of us who don't have a show on Logo.

No, I'm pretty sure I'm half not gay.

well, i'm a queer, so whatever. please turn me into your own human urinal.

We're trying to on the Polanski thread.

lgbtqu

i think that it IS about identity, in many ways, which is why i don't get along with much in the regular 'gay' community. the uniforms and identity codes of this community are strict and boring, so what is the alternative? to be oneself, and to reject these 'norms,' and to live as a queer person. that's reductive, but that's essentially the conclusion i've come to for myself.

i wish a had more hetero-queer friends in town

http://14.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kqnx4ocU3h1qzw3gpo1_500.png

you can take some of mine.

table otm, I have no "pride" as I've come to understand the term

here's to living as a queer person! it's only noon but i feel a mimosa would come in handy

I feel less queer this month than ever, but I do feel like a mimosa right now.

i had a grapefruit mimosa and a subsequent headache on saturday

isn't the grapefruit too acidic? I can imagine it cutting into the champagne rather nicely though.

fwiw i also made buttermilk pancakes from scratch because that's the kind of queer i am

also chocolate chip cookies yesterday

omg fat

oh no, a grapefruit mimosa is delicious, especially if mad eiwht very dry champagne.

oh it wasn't all grapefruit juice -- cut with a little oj to keep it palateable

if i can get this line down right now i'm gonna go out and get some champagne and make one

ok i settled on a beer.

... i'm off today

btw t3ddy didn't i see u post that you're buying a house? congratulations!

all I meant about identity was "me" has sufficed.

I'm more of a cypher. I guess I should say we're more of a cypher.

Argh. Mimosas and buttermilk pancakes sound so incredibly delicious and brunch-y right about now. Instead, I am fasting and ostensibly reflecting. Meaningful as I tend to find it, I never hate being Jewish more than ~3PM on Yom Kippur.

table otm, I have no "pride" as I've come to understand the term

Yeah, as much as I occasionally dabble in the regular "gay" community...you can have pride in something you've done or accomplished, not something that you are. While instrumentally, I guess I see the theoretical value in "pride" (viz. pride in being out? i dunno) given continued repression, lack of acceptance towards queerness in society at large, commercialization/commodification of "gay culture", in practice it seems to be less political, less practical and more...vulgar and superficial. But this is a discussion we have had a hundred times already, no?

Ideally, "pride" and narrow communal identification would render themselves no longer necessary due to sexual orientation being a non-issue. And then people can dis/engage with society-at-large, pursue political/gender/ideological queerness or not as they see fit. Or something. I clearly should shut up and come up with a coherent perspective before I go running my mouth off in the presence of people who have a proper understanding of queer theory, etc.

i hear what you're saying, alex, but i think that the whole thing about queerness is that it is always going to be an outside perspective, tied to sexual identity but more about transgressiveness, either sexually, politically, socially, or otherwise.

like even though Folsom is an undeniably corporatized event, the fact remains that people engaging in sex acts in public— hell, even being proud of their bodies in public— is still very transgressive in this day and age. so while i'm not a leather or rubber person by any means, i appreciate such festivals much more than i will every appreciate pride celebrations, which are self-congratulatory and useless, imho, unless you happen to be one of the few minorities that we sketched out during the summer (ie- recently out, an exhibitionist, an AIDS worker, etc).

i hear what you're saying, alex, but i think that the whole thing about queerness is that it is always going to be an outside perspective, tied to sexual identity but more about transgressiveness, either sexually, politically, socially, or otherwise.

Fair enough. In which case, what does one make of the desire in certain parts of the queer community to normalize/not be as much of an outside perspective. There's a dichotomy here between the desire to assimilate queerness within the larger social milieu and the desire to use queerness as a jumping point to further transgression and boundary pushing. A fairly fundamental divide within those who identify as queer, no?

yes. i can't really comment full-length on it right now, but i would tend to characterize those who are into further transgression and boundary pushing as coming from more of a punk rock background, at least in my experience... but of course, there are always exceptions.

i definitely feel like there is a bit of a divide, but it isn't as insurmountable as the divide between the queers and the corporate gays (or even the straights, for that matter).

what I learned from the NYT Mag piece is there are many middle-school queer boys named Justin and Austin.

And seriously, how does one become a corporate gay? I just...I understand and sympathize with your perspective but at the same time don't necessarily think that actual people live their lives as clear cut as all that. How much corporate gaydom must one engage in before that's what you are? How politically active must one be to be a radical queer? Identity is tricky, and most days I'm content just to know that I'm me. If that.

What about Dustin?

just a note to surm: i'm not buying a house...rather, we're renting this amazing family home.

4br, 2bath, two floors of hardwood, kitchen featuring a dishwasher new fridge and granite countertops, also w/ a deck, a backyard with a beautiful pine tree....on one of the nicest blocks in west oakland...$2000 a month.

the house was on the market for 450k. they couldn't sell it. it's a total fucking steal, tho, and if i end up staying out here after i'm done my MFA, i am staying in this house until i move elswhere.

anyway, yeah, pretty excited. just need to pack up some ephemera, my clothes, my DJ set up....and i'm done. only really took an hour and a half or so to get all the records, books and papers into boxes!!!

also, i am kind of sad to leave my beloved Shasta and this beautiful place i've been living since june of 08. but it'll be nice to have lots of space (we are already planning a READING SERIES!!!) and more of a camaraderie with fellow queer writers, even though they're ladies. they're fab.

woopee! good job

here they are:
m1ch3lle
http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v273/118/81/615475556/n615475556_3686851_6409.jpg

and 3rin (in Rio OMG she speaks portugese...so hot)

http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v645/57/76/827455421/n827455421_5332610_7750.jpg

yay positive vibes

ephemera

I always see this as my username.

1) done!

2) my friend peter (who gave me the sweatshirt i am wearing, coincidentally) is playing this amazing music on WOBC right now. david lang's "the little match girl passion." woh.

is it ok to ask where you're moving?

tabes, at those prices, let me know if any of yr roomies move out. I do dishes.

Thanks for giving me the idea of grapefruit mimosas. I'm trying it this sunday. I have no idea why I hadn't thought of it before; since grapefruit juice and campari is my favorite afternoon drink.

another great brunch drink is a gin fizz. From my friend Chris's blog DomesticDaddy.net (a really nice resource):

“I don’t know whether to drink this or dab it behind my ears.” So said a friend last weekend when I handed him his first gin fizz. Made correctly, the gin fizz is an ethereal drink, an aromatic, ultralight concoction whose pleasures lie at the intersection of our senses of taste and smell. (Made carelessly, though, it’s a nasty gin milkshake that could put you off gin – and milkshakes—for a good long time.) The heady aroma of orange blossoms mixed with the gin’s botanicals leads you to inhale deeply, eyes closed, before the first sip. As the sparkling, lightly creamy liquid fills your mouth, you taste the fresh citrus, and, as you swallow, there’s the crisp finish of gin. Heaven. (Can you tell I really like this drink?) It’s origins are in 19th century New Orleans, and it’s traditionally a brunch drink, but I love it on hot summer afternoons too.

The ingredients seem a little odd to the uninitiated, but give it a try. The keys to success are keeping it light and dry --use a light hand with the cream and simple syrup and finish the glass with a good dose of soda water. The only exotic ingredient is orange flower water, which is inexpensive and relatively easy to find (e.g. $3.49 at bevmo.com). Some recipes list this as optional, but it really isn’t.

Recipe (for two drinks)
2-3 oz. good gin (Gin is not a good opportunity to economize when stocking your bar.)
½ oz. simple syrup (To make simple syrup, just combine equal amounts of sugar and hot water, then cool before using and store refrigerated.)
½ oz. fresh lemon juice
½ oz. fresh lime juice
1 oz. cream
1 raw egg white
2 dashes of orange flower water
ice
soda water
oranges slices for garnish

Put everything except the soda into a blender with a scant cup of ice. (Don’t overdo the ice – you want the finished drink to have some suspended ice chips, but not the consistency of a slushy.) Buzz it until the mixture is frothy and smooth, pour into tumblers or white wine glasses, top with a good splash of soda water, and garnish with an orange slice. Dab a little behind each ear, and serve immediately.

His blog is worth checking out.

Thanks Dan, I'm always looking for new ideas. Which department of a store would one find orange water, or is this something you make? It sounds great btw.

"1 raw egg white"

^ dealbreaker

not out of any active dislike, though -- never had a cocktail that included egg, but the idea is not appetizing

i have the 1970-something Playboy Bar & Cocktail book -- from a time when vodka was still somewhat exotic -- that includes all sorts of eggy drinks and strange highballs.

brandy, cream, sugar, whole egg, shaken over ice, garnish with nutmeg

this is called a 'flip' and it kinda scares me tbh, mostly because its resemblance to nog

okay, so i just wanted to post this because it is fucking absurd:
http://gawker.com/5371660/seizing-statutory-rape-zeitgeist-right-hones-latest-gayest-czar-attack

happy birthday, table!

thanks morbz! woke u[ in my new house, got coffee, and am now in the midst of xlr8r reviews hell...but later today will be funtimes.!!!

yes, happy birthday duuuuude

bonne anniversaire, etc. etc. duuuuuude.

happy birthday, tabes! Here's a poem:

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
- The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused - nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear - no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape,
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

Happy birthday!!!!!!

Here's a present. Don't forget to hit refresh: http://www.briefmagazine.com/

happiness is a table! :D

Happy birthday and all et al.

HEY. IT IS TAPE STORE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY. HAPPY BDAY FRIEND.

<3<3<3

i love tape store so much :) H B D!

cheers to you TS, despite the films you recommend ;)

Happy belated birthday to you boys.

happy birthday to all the libra boys :)

love on ya bday children

In two hours I am hopping on a 23 hour bus ride to Chicago for Canadian Turkey Day to visit some friends. It's been slightly over a year since I last found myself in the Windy City and at the time I was neither a) legal, nor b) out. So...in between hanging out with my friends and eating deep dish pizza, is there anywhere particularly awesome and gay I absolutely must go to while I'm in town?

i dunno what kind of scene you like, but i am a gay dive type, so Second Story bar fits the bill. on the other hand, you could go to Boystown and wander into almost any bar in the area.

Is Tape Store still on this thread? If so, happy birthday!

I have enjoyed the Big Chicks bar in Andersonville (?), but mostly for their Sunday summer barbecue. It's a mixed boy/lez crowd.

Aw, thanks so much everyone! I'm pretty sure I would rather hang out with you all than my irl friends! (and i love my irl friends!)

Devastatingly right.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-october-6-2009/the-gay-after-tomorrow

hey! so on thursday, my friend 3than invited me over to this mansion that he's house-sitting in the berkeley hills. we drank wine, watched the sunset, and then the guy who does Black Acid C00p (http://www.deitch.com/projects/sub.php?projId=284) came over, and we drank more wine, then joe strumm3r's daughter and a bunch of other peeps came.....we ended up eating dinner at midnight, and were so tired that we ended up not even engaging in sex-- we just spooned all night.

i think i'm kind of smitten.

what do i do.

another dinner date! love dates like that

I think it should be mandatory to place this in all gay threads from now on:

Sphincter
Allen Ginsberg
(1986)
from: Cosmopolitan Greetings: Poems, 1986-1992

I hope my good old asshole holds out
60 years it's been mostly OK
Tho in Bolivia a fissure operation
survived the altiplano hospital--
a little blood, no polyps, occasionally
a small hemorrhoid
active, eager, receptive to phallus
coke bottle, candle, carrot
banana & fingers--
Now AIDS makes it shy, but still
eager to serve--
out with the dumps, in with the condom'd
orgasmic friend--
still rubbery muscular,
unashamed wide open for joy
But another 20 years who knows,
old folks got troubles everywhere--
necks, prostates, stomachs, joints--
Hope the old hole stays young
till death, relax

March 15, 1986, 1:00 PM

please no. please no. again, please no.

you'll never meet a fag who hates allen ginsberg as much as this one right here.

quit being jealous

:)

Yes, plz continue with the name dropping instead. It's so fascinating.

now now let's just honor the sphincter

now now let's just unfriend eric on fbook.

it was more like 'woah all these crazy people are crazy' sort of thing, it wasn't meant to be some sort of name-drop fest. plus the black acid coop guy was awesome.

seriously tho, eric, what unleashed your inner bitch.

xpost Why stop there? Does killfile still work?

seriously tho, eric, what unleashed your inner bitch.

Shouldn't be hard to guess. I'm newly 30.

what the hell did i do to deserve your wrath? i did nothing. mentioned some names of people i hung out with because they were intersting. and all of a sudden, i'm persona non grata. what gives?

This is not wrath. This is a headache-induced snit.

whatever. i didn't killfile or unfriend you.

hope the headache gets better.

i'm off to the theatre.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I promise I'll probably keep on getting headaches. I sort of think you shouldn't spend any more time on a message board than you did in high school.

So...Chicago has been interesting. My friend L0g4n (girl)'s apartment is right in Boystown, so we went out there last night after some celebrations of a Jewish nature (gotta love a holiday that recommends you get drunk!). We found a neat little martini bar and then crossed the street to Spin. Spin was...not particularly impressive, but it WAS only midnight...bar, drag show, no dancefloor per se, but that seems to be standard here. Then we wandered over to Berlin which was pretty decent, on reflection. One floor altqueer club littered with hipsters dancing to scuzzy indie and 80s music. Two cute boys who eyed me and did not follow up, although L0g4n and her other friend both got hit on by some v. attractive lesbians. This is a trend apparently. (Alex + straight chicks @ gay bars = lesbians hit on friends, Alex drinks.)

I just spent an hour wandering around alone. Went to Sidetracks which seems nice...lots of bars in one big bar w/ video screens w/ music videos and...Roscoe's? which seems kind of sketchy. Surprisingly few/no clubs compared to MTL, and it's all very spread out and a lot more residential than le Village.

Unable to find Second Story, table, which is a shame, because it sounds like a blast! Andersonville is a bit of a shlep, so Big Chicks'll have to wait until next time. Anyway...might wander out again to have more drinks and meet some cute local boys (yeah, right. this is me we're talking about). tomorrow/monday = chicago straight friends + fake Canadian thanksgiving festivities, but I might venture out again if I'm bored.

it's really interesting how each city i've been to this yr seems to have its own very particular character of queer scene....mtl vs. toronto vs. chicago. anyway.

Yeah, and it's usually very self-aware. This post on Mpls craigslist ...

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/mis/1415832410.html

... inspired someone to post (already removed) that it was evidence that Mpls.-St. Paul is a small town that thinks it's a big city.

Because it's public sex -- not civics, arts, foods and culture -- that mark the difference.

self-aware...as in purposefully constructed? or just...conscious of the vibe it projects?

self-critical and, at least here, convinced there's somewhere better somewhere else

Us Twin Cities gays are constantly told we're one of the best places in America to be gay and yet I don't think a single one of us, deep down, think it's remotely true.

One of my best Chicago straight friends/wingman is in the Twin Cities right now. His absence is the reason why I was forced to wander around Boys Town all alone tonight. Haha. But even if it isn't remotely true for teh gayz, he said Minneapolis is proving to be a lot of fun.

Definitely. Great city for any number of other reasons.

Probably gays too, I guess. I don't claim to know all, most or many of them here.

I know none! Your lovely self excluded.

I know even less in other cities (NY excluded), which goes to show I should probably be more loathe to pitch fits in this thread if I expect to ever find a place to crash when I do my world tour.

if you ever come out here, you have a very comfortable sofa-bed. i ruined a fingernail moving it. it still hurts/throbs when i type.

anyway, in regards to your other comment, i live in a world of name-drop. sorry. five people in the past two days have asked me whether i know this one guy, and i'm like, "how do i not know this person?"

it's no like it's really my scene, per se, but lit fags are better than castro fags.

has anyone Leo Bersani? he is blowing my mind right now. more than ginsberg, 'Is the Rectum A Grave?' should be required reading.

there you go, name-dropping again. whatever. i told someone tonight a quote i read elsewhere, "everyone has an asshole and an opinion."

yup.

tabes, screw yr spooning, spray to play. (j/k)

Eric is a doll, he just has fewer Middle American names to drop. Trust me.

xpost I love Leo Bersani, yes! "Is The Rectum A Grave?" is a masterpiece, easily one of the best essays I've ever read. And his intro to the Bantam Classics edition of Madame Bovary is responsible for making that my all-time favorite novel (just got a nifty, rare edition of Bovary in French as a gift a few days ago too!).

PLEASE feel free to drop Bersani's name any time. And if you run into him at a party, tell him he rox the m-i-c! kay?

table, you should also read D.A. Miller's"Anal/Rope" and Lee Edelman's "Rear Window's Glasshole" too if you haven't already. Very much in line with Bersani's thoughts.

also too

Subject: Web 2.0 Crushing...
Outside of J0rdan, I don't think I know any cute gays in this town, but I'm always on the lookout. Anyway, so I'm reading a friend's blog, and he links to this nice political youtube doc video thing. And I see that filmmaker is hot (not just in fb photos but in the film itself). And that he's gay and just a year or two older than me. Wahoo, right? So I'm talking to my friend, and he tells me that the filmmaker is a student of another filmmaker I sorta know (or, at the very least, have very good connections to) and that the teacher-filmmaker might be bringing him here in february for the fest! But what do I do? Nothing, just wait until the weekend? Send him an email telling him that I like his work? Try to turn it into a rolling flirty email? This sort of date-finding feels really creepy on my part. Is it creepy? Or is it just the digital version of something very normal?

(oh, speaking of namedropping, lol)

i love you, t3d, and i love you, Eric. currently not loving myself as much as i would like but it's all an ebb and flow of reason and doubt. mmmhmm.

btw why are none of us marching in D.C.? BAD queers!

moreover, none of the 3 C-SPAN channels are showing anything right now. Is it a late curtain?

OK, 2pm, apparently.

one of my friends is there

Eric, you're in Minneapolis, right? I might actually visit in the next six to eight weeks.

KJB, awesome. that is exciting, i will look those other essays up on JSTOR later today. i am really happy that i have JSTOR access.

also, DC sucks, the HRC sucks, and i still can't figure out why anyone would fight for the "right" to be in the military. a fucking joke is what all this seems like.

OOOOH and tape store, it isn't creepy. the guy that i spooned with (i mean yeah there was some frottage too) on thursday met me once at a reading, we talked for a bit, and then he became my fbook friend....and then he invited me over....and.....

so really, i dunno-- maybe try to meet him first, even if it's for a minute? or something like that.

I was thinking DC was sort of at the top of my list of cities I'd like to move to someday. That or Seattle maybe. Or I could stay right here too.

Alfred, what's the occasion? Here for the Holidazzle parade?

DC is very corporate. and not terribly gay, according to many friends there, unless you work for a non-profit or lobbying group or whatever.

i would do baltimore over DC any day. baltimore is just more fun.

The spirit moved me to visit a good friend. I'll let you know if it happens.

i still can't figure out why anyone would fight for the "right" to be in the military. a fucking joke is what all this seems like.

See Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. and "the right of the donkey to drool."

xpost Not sure what's there aside from the the opportunity to maybe see John Waters in person every once in awhile.

Sounds great, Alfred.

well, there's fantastic music. and MICA.

so okay, there isn't that much, but the music scene in baltimore is amazing. all kinds.

Bearing in mind I'm a Kerri Chandler type, not an anything else type, right?

the DC gays are, in my limited experience, kind of awful.

I can be too, and I'm way more of-establishment than anti-, so I may fit in.

baltimore club kills, man. and DC's closest approximation to anything housey is the fucking thievery corporation. euch.

See that's what you needed to say in the first place. :)

I have a friend at work who is also a househead who insists Baltimore's house scene is crazy underrated.

ok, I don't feel so bad about confining my visits to Orioles games now.

Can't wait for the Twins to put us all our of their misery tonight. And the Metrodome's too.

I don't have many positive things to say about DC's gay scene. I mostly enjoy myself here though.

and DC's closest approximation to anything housey is the fucking thievery corporation. euch.

Agreed on Thievery Corporation but things have improved a lot here in the past couple years. Lots of new venues and shows to choose from compared to when I first moved here.

Maybe they will drive some runners in tonight. Morneau shoulda gone to Lourdes.

xp

Nah, as someone more baseball-savvy than me has pointed out, the '00s Twins have basically solidified their reputation as the '90s Braves when it comes to the postseason. Whatever that means.

tabes, thanks for the response. here's my question: is 'i saw you in a sorta viral youtube video clip and thought you were really cute' the same thing as 'i saw you at a book reading and thought you were really cute'? Note that this guy lives in a different state (same region, tho), so the fest seems like the only time i know i'll have the opportunity to meet him and see if we click.

Depends on the viral Youtube clip!

yeah, it does, but i think you should just send him a note saying you enjoyed him in it. and maybe invite him out for coffee or something.

The HRC audience's rapturous applause for the same old vague platitudes from Prizewinner Bam reminds me precisely of the gay activism industry's attitude toward Bill Clinton: "Oooooh, the captain of the football team TALKED TO MEEEEE!"

(he had them by opening w/ a Lady Gaga joke)

Should he have opened with a quote from that Ginsburg poem upthread?

it's the HRC, what do you expect? JUST DON'T MENTION TRANNIES AND ALL IS WELL IN BOURGEOIS FAG-LAND.

yeah the sullivan posts were otm

ok, i hopefully won't regret doing this, but since you all probably have seen the first video, it's microphone guy: http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/8320_1168225536843_1564080437_17075.jpg

(plz don't post video to thread for obv reasons)

ooh boy, he could interview me ANYTIME

hot. go for it.

trying to see if my guy will meet up on friday.

*sigh*
http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v376/46/17/562283349/n562283349_966867_786.jpg

dang

lol i saw the top of the head and just assumed it was a joke picture of jake gyllenhaal, xpost!

i just love hair like that. so 80s office

Remind me again who the guy with the microphone is.

Subject: Web 2.0 Crushing...
Outside of J0rdan, I don't think I know any cute gays in this town, but I'm always on the lookout. Anyway, so I'm reading a friend's blog, and he links to this nice political youtube doc video thing. And I see that filmmaker is hot (not just in fb photos but in the film itself). And that he's gay and just a year or two older than me. Wahoo, right? So I'm talking to my friend, and he tells me that the filmmaker is a student of another filmmaker I sorta know (or, at the very least, have very good connections to) and that the teacher-filmmaker might be bringing him here in february for the fest! But what do I do? Nothing, just wait until the weekend? Send him an email telling him that I like his work? Try to turn it into a rolling flirty email? This sort of date-finding feels really creepy on my part. Is it creepy? Or is it just the digital version of something very normal?

― got that candy zing (Tape Store), Sunday, October 11, 2009 9:44 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark

anyway, you should let us know how yr pursuit is going..!

i just got a txt saying that friday is out because he's working, and that i should call, because he hates txting. ha.

Ah. I friended my Internet crush on Facebook and called it a day.

(btw, seven years older)

one time i asked laurie anderson's assistant for a date and he didn't accept

HEY BRIGHT SUNSHINE THOUGHTS FOR TAPE STORE.

he's cute tabes. he looks kind of normal and loving

my lips are sealed on that. don't want to jinx it.

ok. tell us about his bod at least

I'd just ask the assistant to set me up for a night of personal readers theater with Laurie Anderson.

"Brad." his name was Brad. who's named Brad anymore?

like, really?

Someone in a Laurie Anderson story was named Brad.

I hope he at least said "no" through her voice thingy.

I generally avoid pursuing my crushes; this way, they always remain ideal.

hi guys. i'm sleepy.

i have been doing the up-at-5:30am-and-go-to-the-gym-before-work thing again. still adjusting. it's so dark when i wake up. :(

that is super yuk, elmo. tho i'm sure the results are not. i've just been bicycling a lot. i really REALLY want to bicycle today, but i have to do laundry, too, since my new landlord still hasn't installed the washer/dryer she's promised us...(we're calling her every day, btw. we wouldn't have taken this place if she hadn't assured us of laundry capability). and since my schedule's all weird, i have to take my laundry to the city, TA a class, then do the laundry, then go to a class....very weird.

also, 'brad' is weird. it's not just you, surm.

Remind me again who the guy with the microphone is.

haha -- I had the same thought.

on-site laundry is urgent + key. could not live without.

it's only been about 2 weeks of hitting the gym consistently, but i'm feeling pretty good about my progress so far. i actually did the whole pictures & weight & body measurement thing. i even set goals. it was all very traumatizing. (btw dudes, vanity sizing is very real and also horrible.)

ahem, the bod.... he isn't as hairy as beard would let on, very slim (about my size), and uh...well...down there is pretty good.

what is vanity sizing?

lying?

"what is vanity sizing?"

question seconded!

Is that like thinking to yourself that you've got a 33 waist when you're really a 35 waist or something? Or thinking you're two inches taller than you really are? I think a lot of people kind of squint into the mirror and suck in the their cheeks and stick out their chin and pull in their gut a bit. Not naming names here . . .

ohhh no wait, maybe this is when stores make their sizes such that ppl will feel skinnier.

like i know that at the gap, i always feel kind of skinny cuz they make their sizes kind of weird.

But then there are also high fashion / designer clothes that are sized as like a deliberate fuck you to people who aren't their target market (I've seen this with the clothes at SevenNewYork but also in brands like Vilebrequin- I was kind of stunned to learn that my 34 inch waist made me an Extra Large in their eyes). The most extreme case is probably As Four, who only make clothes in the sizes that the actual designers themselves can wear- so you've got to be a "Gabbi", "Angie" or "Adi" in order to fit into them at all. And they are *small* people.

you are beautiful, in every single way. high fashion won't bring u down.

or like stating your endowment to be longer than the actual?

no, it's as sur says -- it's when your pants lie to you, essentially.

even if i emaciated myself, i don't think i could get smaller than a true 36 waist. no fancy pants for me, damn these birthin' hips.

so hips don't lie, but pants do

yes. liar liar pants on fire.

exactly

i have dropped pants size in the past few months. these 31-inch jeans are *gasp* too big. but then i try on 31s or 30s elsewhere (mostly thrift stores), and they're too tight. or just a bit too 'i'm gonna look like i'm wearing 1960s era dress pants' for me.

anyway, i have hips, too. so don't fret.

yeah, i find older clothes tend to run more true to size, i've had this experience with thrifted pants as well.

I seem to have lost an inch or two since I got laid off! Realizing snacks = money, not via exercise.

even if i emaciated myself, i don't think i could get smaller than a true 36 waist. no fancy pants for me, damn these birthin' hips.

― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 6:20 PM (Yesterday)

ditto

it's a family curse. my only recourse to which would be to develop a gigantic canteloupe ass as a diversion. maybe some day.

guys, i am eating New England Clam Chowder. and i feel gross.

and just after i typed that, guy called. meeting up!

good luck & godspeed

merci.

i wonder what's happening now

well, i mean, we're meeting up later. i have to meet with my thesis chair, otherwise i'd be eating delicious dinner at Mission Street Food with him and some other peeps.

the problem is that James (aka dj bus station john) is out of town! what the fuck do i do with him...except take him home?

i guess that that's a pretty awesome option, tho. hah.

also, i am reading "The Child" by Sarah Schulman and it is really good. highly rec'd.

i have a cold. but i'm like, "antsy." should i go out tabes?

i could go to "the hose"

i always vote 'get better' before 'go out.' maybe do some private dancing? i love just drinking some beers and tea and dancing around my house.

thesis chair meeting tonight. but it's all good, we're friends. still, i hope she'll spring for dinner.

I was at the Hose last week, til the free vodka hour was over.

oh i was there the week before ! didn't even get the vodka. supposedly i was screaming

thanks t

where the fuck is ti@rnan

I was thinkin of going to Metropolitan after this ballgame, but not if it's midnight.

I just returned from a condo association meeting. The board assumed I was representing my infirm parents or something

oh let's go, i'm fuckin antsy

condo meetings seem so tedious

wait i'm supposed to be staying in

I didn't know you guys hung out!

we havent yet!

should we go? i mean it's like i shouldn't but since when did i do things i should

oh I'm not going to the Hose. also I was out til 2 last night, I should probably get up early and look for work.

or go see Bright Star at a.m. prices.

hope you all had a good Wilde's Birthday!

i've been feeling slightly sexually attracted towards women lately. not any woman in particular but just the idea.

The juxtaposition of your post and Morbs' last is perfect.

The Idea of Women becomes more attractive the longer you're single, I'm afraid.

just be careful jordan. it's a slippery slope.

thx ramz. i have no plans, but the brain moves at its own pace

it really fucking does doesn't it

I mean, if you're genuinely attracted to'em, go for it! I'm not hung up on a fixed notion of sexuality. But don't turn to them out of desperation; they can smell that too.

Believe me, I sympathize, J0rdan.

i tried it once, but i couldn't find the my way around

Yay, slippery slope!

http://www.happygaytravel.com/resorts/alternative/ski_easter/terrain4_lg.jpg

nah i mean there are def routes i could go with guys if i was really desperate. but right now when my mind wanders off to think about sex, naked people etc (560 times a day) there has been more thoughts of women recently than ever before in my life, it seems like

well, you are popular with the girls

If I were to rank this thread's regulars by how much I suspect their gayness to be a phase ... I'd be even less popular than before.

oh, go ahead and try.

i ain't no phase honey

::snap::

well, you are popular with the girls

― surm, Sunday, October 18, 2009 9:42 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

;-)

i think kristen stewart is singlehandedly, magnetically pulling me down the kinsey scale

ugh why is she so hot

If she muss-cals, a deep voice, and watched Dolphin games, I'd agree.

*if she had

Well, I'd have to put myself at the top of the list, Alfred.

To be fair.

have you ever been with a woman?

Nah, but asexuality is my base, not heterosexuality.

The Idea of Women becomes more attractive the longer you're single, I'm afraid.

^^^does it? i dunno. since i came out i've somehow become more attractive to chicks? or more aware of their attraction to me?

there are girls i find attractive, and like...there have been mostly-joking conversations with my friend m1ch3ll3 about 'what if we had sex?', but i'll usually end up pining over some unattainable hot straight(?) french guy sitting behind my friends and i at a football game instead. there are girls i find aesthetically very beautiful and there are girls i find hot enough that i could (would?) fuck them. hell, i remain utterly clueless how to ask out or date guys...it's a big pathless sort of swamp...and understand girls well enough that i could theoretically be in really solid relationships with some of my best friends.

so yeah, the idea is interesting, and it's likely sex with women will happen at some point, but whenever an opportunity presents itself, it usually doesn't matter - confronted with the reality that i'd rather have a boyfriend.

so i guess what i'm saying is in my case there are women i am sexually attracted to, but the Idea of women isn't one that appeals to me?

what is the Idea of Women in this disccusion?

I've a (brief) history with women, enough to know whether I prefer snails to oysters.

what is the Idea of Women in this disccusion?

They smell good, but they don't flirt as well as men.

I was mostly kidding about the Idea of Women. It all depends on your milieu. Hanging out almost exclusively with straight guys frustrates because once in a while I can't help but see things with their eyes.

so weird. i am more than capable of having sex with women, but the Idea of Women is not one that comes to me that often. i mean, i haven't thought about women sexually...in a really really long time.

it's very fleeting for me, and every time in my life that i've ever tried to get off thinking about/looking at a woman it's been a swift & utter failure, but idk. i really feel like my brain is playing against me. women is def not something that i want but \(o_O)/

are you out to your parents, btw?

i can recognize when a woman is sexually attractive, but it's my brain that tells me so. with dudes, i am informed by a different organ.

no, alfred

also xxpost to elmo: agreed.

Suggestions for how to react when boy at the gym blatantly stares at you from the shower stall across the way and then pulls back the curtain to reveal his raging hard-on? All my faculties just shut down in situations like this and I don't know what to do!

There are lots of overwhelmingly gay, cruise-y gyms to go to in DC if that's what you're after. The YMCA that I go to isn't one of them. I'm in a relationship and don't really want to put up with all that. Every once in a while, though, you get someone who either hasn't discovered the cruisier gyms yet or doesn't care.

Would he have done this if he didn't think I was gay? Does this mean people can tell I'm gay just by looking at me? It wouldn't necessarily bother me if so but I do wonder....

haha, lou -- i also attend a non cruisy gym (at the jewish community center), but yesterday my boyfriend was in the communal showers where some guy -- who was quite fit -- was doing ballet stretches on the handrail and full splits on the shower floor, asshole on full display. i don't really understand what that could have been about, really, but my boyfriend was quite naturally distracted. i missed the floor show by a couple minutes, apparently.

as for your experience -- not sure what advice to give other than to respond as you normally would to unwanted attention in any other setting. it's maybe a little strange that it happened at the Y, but then again, maybe not. if it continues to happen or you feel harrassed or unsafe, maybe mention it to the staff but otherwise -- i dunno, take it as a compliment and move on?

or, don't move on...

jk jk

Would he have done this if he didn't think I was gay? Does this mean people can tell I'm gay just by looking at me?

I don't think "you" enter the equation nearly as much as his horniness. So I don't even know if I'd, as per elmo, take it as a compliment. But of course I wouldn't get any such reaction in the first place, so I guess I'm jealous. :)

This is a textbook example of why I love my climbing gym. Among other things, it helps keep me chaste.

yeah it could just be an exhibitionist move like "yeaaah look at my dick, my dick is awesome, haha made you look" -- in which case, uh, enjoy the view? if that's possible.

i need to start going to the gym

funny thing, exhibitionism

most of the time at my gym it's geriatric dudes who look like they're melting. the occassional fit exhibitionist is a nice change of pace tbh.

:)

I guess it's kind of flattering in a bizarre kind of way. But I really hate the way I seize up when confronted with something like this. I feel like I should be able to control myself. I react the same way even in more... tame situations, like where it's just a random stranger chatting with me.

when i was at nyu there was a dude who lived in the apartment building across the way who would walk around nude with the curtains open. sometimes he would put on a show.

Maybe I'm weird, but tensing up and being unconfortable if someone accosts me with their naked rigidity probably ought to be the rule, not the exception.

what kind of show?

i think you can guess!

dang that's better than the internet

That IS the Internet.

Maybe I'm weird, but tensing up and being unconfortable if someone accosts me with their naked rigidity probably ought to be the rule, not the exception.

Yeah, this is true. But I think having the same reaction when someone you don't know approaches you (clothed, sans stiffy) indicates there's a problem.

okay, i think i might be gayer than all of you. if someone accosts me in such a way, i just smile. and if they're cute, grab a hold.

maybe that doesn't make me more gay, just more of a slut. or comfortable with what some might deem vulgar displays of sexuality.

whatever.

i had a dream last night that one of my best friends (straight) and i were in some sort of weird suburban house, and started making out, and then he had to leave...but when he left, some creepy, old dude with scabs on his hands accosted me, and tried to drive me off in his van.

uhm.

being a slut is fun

unless it's not

(^^this is why i graduated from vassar)

I suppose a simple smile would have sufficed.

But I think having the same reaction when someone you don't know approaches you (clothed, sans stiffy) indicates there's a problem.

Touche.

i am fully comfortable with libidinous displays! but you know, in a relationship that i would never jeopardize.

like being accosted by a retail worker i think my response would be "no thanks, i'm just looking"

that analogy makes more sense if the guy in lou's shower was rubbing his thumb against his fingers.

"All my faculties just shut down in situations like this and I don't know what to do!"

Like the old surfer slogan sez, "If it rises, ride it"

"All my faculties just shut down in situations like this and I don't know what to do!"

Gimme a Leonard Cohen after world.

"take your blessings where you can get them"

seeing leonard on friday

I don't mean to sound prudish either. Don't get me wrong--this may have thrown me off for a minute but it had me laughing the whole way home.

x-posts to elmo

I'm unapologetic about my prudery. I'm not saying I would've reported him, or anything ...

odd detail about the guy doing splits on the shower floor -- he was wearing flipflops. so i guess plantar warts are ok if they end up on his taint? idk

Haha

I can't speak to this situation, as I don't go to gyms -- ever -- but I'm generally more receptive to such behavior in more suitable environments, like sex clubs or Fire Island (in the 18 or so hours I've spent there).

sex clubs!

I see all kinds of homoerotic aerobics in the newsroom, none of which, alas, involve a vertical bar.

elmo, they have not gone the way of the dodo.

oh i know. there are two in providence, with horrible reputations.

bad reputations having to do with being filthy (that is, unhygenic)

I'm not oblivious to the fact that most gay men feel best about their sex-odds when their muscles have just freshly been ripped and their endorphins are surging, but yeah ...

locker rooms have certain appeal for me but it's more the association with team showers for highschool sports than any inherent sexiness tbh

yes.

How many team sports were you all in?

being surrounded by naked hardbodied upperclassmen as a pubescent queer, it has a lasting effect it does

I was in drumline, myself, but there were no group washings.

football & wrestling, eric

wrestling team showers were mandatory. to prevent ringworm, you see.

Yeah, that sounds sooooo sexy. ;)

Wrestling, baseball and track when I was younger. Only ran cross-country in high school.

i think my wrestling coach was the first adult I came out to actually lol

I was a band geek with dalliances (never more) in theater.

i love that i have to search for "death" and "gay" to find this thread

thoughts on hooking up with a very young looking 42yr old?

jordan hates the idea, but i'm telling you this guy is attractive

I can't imagine

lol shutup! i knew you would do that

be sure to have a defibrillator at hand.

oh ffs

;)

my team sports: I was on the crew team for my college at Oxford (but only the "third eight", mind, not like the "first eight"- "third eight" just meant you were any old gullible loser that felt like getting up early and wearing the kit)

how the fuck were you all so athletic

i bet you looked good in the kit

I played nuthin, if that helps

phew. i played tennis like the community leagues. i'd play these older guys and like, win.

sooooooo i might meet up with 42 tomorrow!

http://www.insidesocal.com/outinhollywood/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,money01.jpg

lol at Tom Cruise discussions today

42 ? pshaw just go for it.

yeahhh... yeah

yeah?

mmmhmm

sick, dude

sick is as dick does

um, sick

aaahahahaa

I'm hungry, guys.

I wish I was hungry, instead of trying to figure out if a 6-month job (which I'm only starting to apply for) is worth 4 hours of commuting a day.

that sounds exhausting

also, less money than I'm used to :p

Take the money.

well, no kidding, but I will hate my life.

also, recruiter thinks it's "a little junior" for me." YEAH NO SHIT, nobody's offering 'midcareer' jobs.

Recruiters still have jobs?

also, I forgot to count the home-to-Grand Central leg of the trip... it'd probably be more like 6 hours of commuting a day, upstate NY snow snafus not included.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOFKU_hwj2o

Haha. Only the ugly chicks wanna step to me.

Report: 65% Of All Wildlife Now Used As Homosexual Subculture Signifier

ha ha ha.

yeah man funk dat morbz.

I have a 2-day trial for this job, starting tom'w. :(

Get some rest!

Whistle while you work.

Best of luck, Morbs!

1- elmo, WOAH. i like sans beard, but also with beard. so striking both hirsute and non-.

2- i spent much of my afternoon reading back issues of the new yorker in the chair nook with afternoon sun pouring in.

3- i am meeting 3than again tonight. we might go to the eagle to see Hunx & His Punx play, or we might just...uh...yknow.

Wow I think all the boys who post here have really nice hair!

i'm letting my beard grow

(i'm in my roommate's room)

http://i34.tinypic.com/28u22w2.jpg

nice face elmo!

j that beard looks pretty great on you

v natural

thank you ramz

http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r305/superflouis/94.jpg

I could never pull off a beard.

yeah, J, it looks great, especially when you affect that who-me? expression.

hot booooyyyyys, baby YOU got what i want

umm can we talk about how lou looks like he could bench any one of us in a hot minute?

Yeah, I think lou wins the thread's bicep award. Arms like that are what T-shirts were made for, et al.

lou looks a bit like Dan Savage...

ARGH. 3than worked double shift yesterday and had all this shit to do earlier, and he calls me and is like, 'i am lying in bed. about to go to sleep. can we do tomorrow night instead?' and of course i'm all 'of course, get yr beauty rest boy.'

but now i'm at a loss as to what to do. i don't feel like going back into the City. and i haven't been home before 10 pm since...uh....sunday. do i just call it a night and then go wild tomorrow?

also to add: none of my other friends are going out tonight either. it's like a sleep-wave hit the bay area.

i wanna go out too

ryan's going to the eagle to meet a friend for a drink but i'm not sure if i'm invited

i'm also not into bears

Wondering if the name "Eagle" always indicates a bear cave. It's ditto in Mpls.

except for this guy Bear i'm supposed to meet up with soon, but he's not a bear

is he a teddy?

not even! teddies are cute tho

hey! what the fuck is a teddy? that was my name throughout childhood.

it is the cutest name ever

yes!! oh man

i've been thinking about going by that name again for a while. a lot of my close friends call me that. and some of my bro-dawg drinking buddies too.

i had the urge to call u teddy last week. i think i might've even

it's so cute it makes me feel cute

then teddy away.

guys i'm listening to bob seger. what the hell is wrong with me.

nothing that's perfect

S'all good, teddy.

yeay!

also have decided to meet dyke friends at the eagle. cuz we all like hunx and his punx. or seff, shall i say. we all like seff and his music.

btw, i am going to ask the name question on fbook. and yall better vote teddy.

lou looks like he could bench any one of us in a hot minute?

I'm too FAT!

Not so, but either way I'm still putting money down on you getting lifted.

Took me forever to realize the beardless pic was on WDYLL. Obv this has been a tough work week. Good show, Elmo.

thanks guys! it's been over 2 years since i was clean shaven. still feeling a bit naked without it and my chin is cold.

i'll probably grow it back before too long but i needed a change. (also the beard was totally inappropriate for halloween grandma drag lol)

you have a nice shaped chin, is the thing

had completely forgotten about my chin cleft tbh!!

lol chin butt

:D

or should i say :B

god i'm so funny

liking jordan's beard so far! keep going!

thx dude, i'm truckin on. it's winter and all.

It's as if J0rdan absorbed elmo's hair.

gaylx beard transfer program

"inappropriate for halloween grandma drag lol"

Norman Bates, is that you?

I got a haircut in time for my temp job.

y'all have halloween plans? costumes? am actually pretty excited about mine -- even got appropriate lady shoes & other accessories.

I've never been particularly fond of Halloween – I just don't get it. Since I've never eaten candy, I never went trick-or-treating. And I play a character at work and with friends all day every day.

That said, I may wear a the most vulgar tux I can find and say I'm Jay Gatsby.

bahahahahahahahahahahahaha "a character at work and with friends"

love it

last year my moving day was nov. 1 so halloween was forsaken. making up for it this year.

the Park Slope gay bar is having a "Homos in History" costume contest. I won't be going, but I did discuss w/ one of the bartenders recreating the assassination of Harvey Milk (w/ me as Dan White -- bad suit bulging w/ Twinkies). He said, "I'll bring in my Tosca album!"

I haven't dressed up for Halloween since I was little. My boss invited me to a Halloween party, though, and I feel like I should go. Trouble is I'm uncomfortable enough in plain clothes, so finding a costume that I can deal with will probably be impossible.

Haha sorry I'm a bit of a grump this morning.

just wear fewer clothes

the board recommends you go as an Olympic gymnast, lou.

or as what's-his-name from The Front Runner.

Never been much for costumes, but the horror movies alone make Halloween a favorite.

I, too, am going to two costume parties this year, so I have to make my standard minimum effort.

what will you dress as, eric? or have you not decided yet?

I'm holding out to see what's in the news early next week. I prefer conceptual costumes to fake tits and red pumps.

Though if nothing else jumps out at me, it's straight to Big Sally's Oversized Irregulars.

yo whatup

hey!

The ILX Gay Halloween Photo. Who plays Cukor?

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Atrium/5328/cukor.jpg

(didn't Ramz tag this on Facebook a couple of years ago?)

I did. I'm pretty sure I made Morbs the Cuk-father.

NO

Ah yes, double checked. You were crazy lady second from right. It appears lou untagged himself.

LOL. I didn't want to confuse my grandma (yes, she's somehow on facebook).

So's mine. As of yet, she hasn't said anything about my "interested in," though I don't know if she even knows how to look at other people's pages, et al. She's the type that constantly writes happy birthday messages to other people on her own wall.

aaahhhahahaha

since when do grandma's do fb

Since 45-year-old aunts convince her it's the new way for them to keep in touch.

Facebook: Confusing Grandmas Since 2009

She's the type that constantly writes happy birthday messages to other people on her own wall.

LOL, yes! It's kind of amazing watching my grandma flail around FB.

Or like my dad starting a blog and putting each new post in the comments section of his first post.

my grandmother doesn't even know what facebook is. and you have no idea how many times i've explained to my mother that NOT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD CAN SEE MY PROFILE. she still sort of has trouble grasping the concept. totally weird.

okay, so Hunx & His Punx were great last night, the Eagle was full of hot punk boys, and then we went to Aunt Charlie's...where I ran into one of my students. first time it's ever happened to me... weird feeling!

ALSO HI TI4RN4N.

i've missed you....

How was your time away, ikr?

real life is only okay

ok in costume now and it is pretty impressive (iidssms)

(if i do say so myself)

Pictures!

soon enough. i need an old lady name tho!

maybe della. or lydia.

how bout Helen?

oh! then i can be the 31st agreeing helen

yeah! That's what I thought of, but it was also my grandma's name.

here we go:

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e239/allocryptic/Photo224.jpg

You look like you were in Roxy Music circa '81.

what is it with you and roxy music?

I should have been their bassist.

you really look beautiful. eye makeup is not bad

thanks!

*sigh.* foodie dinner and many glasses of wine, trip to his friend's major printing studio, consumption of magic mushrooms, bottle of wine and mussels with his friend, a gigantic joint, a weird couple of hours spent at the Totally Insane Fractal Mindgaze Hut, a lovely romp in bed, coffee and driving him to work in the morning.

okay, so i'm kind of falling in love, but obviously don't want shit to get weird by being too...yknow, the way people are when they're in love. suggestions?

that reminds me i have to call the dealer

listen, i say, enjoy it for all its worth, but keep your game face on

i "flirted" a lot last night!

i mean, i'm planning on keeping my game face on. but even last night i was getting all fuckin weird and possessive.

i just need to keep my shit in check, or 'game face' on, or whatever. yeah.

haven't been out in over a month between going to chicago and life consumed by law school applications.

getting dragged out tonight by some friends to an event being run by the queer students' group at my (former, i guess) school. feeling very weird...wasn't out while i was still in classes, so never really ran in the queer mcgi11 circles, and still don't really bother trying to.

v. concerned that i will be out of place at this shindig. it's at a big club in the village but mostly students = i will be the oldest person there? quite possibly. (i mean, only 22, but more no-longer-in-school. leads to awkward "so what are you studying?" "i actually serve coffee." conversations)

lol @ the fact that google-proofing mcgi11's "L" only leads to lower case "l" in the "Add a Post" font.

hey i just wanted to say alex: you are cuet.

good to know that one person's overly-analytical neuroticism is another's cuet.

case in point: my friend b3n is prescribing x as a get-over-yrself remedy tonight, but i have shit to do tomorrow and i'm way more libertarian about drugs for others and in theory than for myself and in practice. personal statement to write tomorrow =/= first time experimenting with things that fuck with yr brain.

somehow when i am at my most gay i am also at my most jewish: discuss.

huh... all of my explanations involve briss jokes, so...

No comment. Does the gay thread really require a tawdry digression into 4skin talk at this juncture? I think not.

But srsly I meant more along the lines of...interacting with dudes ---> neurotic, awkward, inner woody allen.

oh okay. (and i was just playin around ;)

i used to be that way, but the more i went out, the more i came out of my shell. so to speak.

And I was kidding, mostly. We're all about tawdry digressions, here, are we not?

Or morose ones.

I wonder if I'll get laid when I'm living rent-free in a basement.

I thought you'd already moved.

Mmmm. So I went...it was fun, I guess? Bumped into a bunch of friends, including one who I'm sort of into, danced to godawful house music, etc. (Seriously? I don't go to Sky for a reason. Would a bit of rap or dancehall kill them?) Hit it off with a friend of a friend and grabbed a number, even if nothing else. Problem: J3wish and in M3d School. Do I like him or does my mother? Really cute, mind you. Not expecting it to go anywhere, but it doesn't hurt to ask him out for coffee, I suppose.

rollin' with the guttman's...

lol sorry. anyway, that sounds nice!

tonight i'm going to Paradise Lounge, after spending the day on Angel Island, which is much more gorgeous than i ever anticipated.

an afternoon on Angel Island followed by Paradise Lounge makes for quite the day

it seems

Hung over most of the day; am watching Ghost Dog (better than average Jarmusch).

omg we're supposed to watch Ghost Cat next week

I was hungover half of yesterday. It lifted remarkably fast.