bad driver signifiers

1) left arm dangling casually out of the car window, hanging straight down

2) drives in the dark without lights on for more than 5 seconds before realizing

3) always slams on the brake just before changing lanes on a highway

4) keeps hitting same fire hydrant

5) when you change into another lane, speeds up so it can seem as though you cut him or her off and then they can honk at you (the other day i had someone honk at me for merging ahead of them when they were 6-7 car lengths behind me)

6) quebec plates

7. periodic veering into another lane on a straight road

8. slowing down for a stop sign or light when one is only half-way there. (A dude did this several times in a row yesterday. It turned out he had a burger and fries on his lap and was eating.)

9. making a left-turn from a non-left turn lane without even signalling

When I change lanes I don't slam on the brakes, but I do slow down a little to give myself some space for looking over my shoulder before I go.

10) ten commandments decal on the back window

11. dudes who look over their shoulder when changing lanes!!!!!

;)

12. the driver is a cat

13. "keep honking i'm reloading"

14. minivan or suv with tv's on in back

xx-post http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_zZHT_alTccg/SK8X_SoO26I/AAAAAAAAA28/5czr_CHprJg/s400/toonces.jpg

Mass plates.

tv in back MAKES ME SO MAD.

15. "unless you're a hemorrhoid GET OFF OF MY ASS!"

10. Tries to pass on right by speeding along side the left lane looking for an opening, only to reach the vehicle ahead of them in the right lane & get pissed off that their plan was foiled & subsequently takes it out on steady left lane flow by threatening to poke into a too small opening until they end up eventually just merging left behind everybody else, much further back than they would have been if they'd kept their original position to begin with.

11. semi-driver does not see you in blind spot & starts to merge into your lane, nearly wiping you off the face of the earth.

xp ENBB - otm

ian: I wait for the day when some right wing nut sees porn playing on those things and they get banned.

18. neon blue shag steering wheel cover.

19. steering with knees while smoking drug pipe

the tv in the back is depressing because it makes me realize that a large portion of an entire generation will spend long road trips with their families watching pixar movies instead of talking, reading, or playing games.

20. Ppl who say "I drive better stoned". No, you really don't.

ehhh

21. In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.

i'm guessing that it would be technically feasible to build a microtransmitter that would broadcast p0rn or whatever to car tvs.

22. Detroit lean

23. Bumper stickers
24. Too cool for turn signal

xp jordan explain that ehh pls

25. http://www.modchipman.com/images/imagecache/132-150-1736.jpg

26. car is a taxi

i would argue that it's possible to actually drive "better" while stoned, where better means more cautiously, more aware of surroundings etc - also that believing this doesn't make you a bad regular driver

more slowly, more interested in surroundings

I once pulled up behind a pickup truck with a TV in the front of the cab playing a porn movie. Then when the pickup truck turned I could see it was an older couple, maybe in their sixties. This was a few years ago.

27. pretty much any variety of pissing Calvin

more slowly, more interested in surroundings

― steamed hams (harbl), Saturday, September 26, 2009 8:33 PM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark

lol

28. terrorist hunting permit 9-11-01

Aren't the pissing Calvins dying off?

There are a lot of correlations being made between bumper stickers and driver quality in this thread!

29. driving exactly the speed limit

Yeah, instead of below the speed limit.

what's wrong with driving exactly the speed limit?

On some streets it's just posted too high! Like, there will be too many pedestrians and bikers, and too many blind spots, and people will go faster than the speed limit just because they're used to that being reasonably safe.

Aren't the pissing Calvins dying off?

Having recently traveled in northern MI, I can confirm that they are not as ubiquitous as they once were, but are still thriving. Calvin pissing on Obama-related imagery seems to have given the trend an upswing.

many xposts re: more slowly, more interested in surroundings. how about maddeningly slow? I drove behind a car not long ago in my neighborhood that was driving ridiculously slow, braking on a straight stretch of road for no reason...figured it was a cellphone talker or little old granny, and resigned to being stuck behind them til we got to the four lane cross. Pulled to a red light behind the car and I noticed that I could smell what I thought was a skunk. Weird. We don't get skunks in the city. Then...plumes of smoke out the window of the car. Dude was smoking a spliff while he was driving!! LOL.

Yeah, I've driven behind a couple of people who drove slow for unexplainable reasons.

xp - where I live speed limits are regularly posted based on there being a lot of pedestrians, cyclists, etc. such that if you're driving down those streets late at night, the speed limits are retardedly slow.

Xp j ok I think i'm gonna let it go, I exhausted my capacity for dealing w/ those attitudes in the drunk drving vs. texting thread

yeah he was too interested in his surroundings! don't smoke and drive

xps

30) why go about changing lanes in a normal manner when you can coolly, charismatically swerve over really quickly with an abrupt jerk?

31. waiting at a green light until it's just about to turn red, and on the last few seconds of yellow, screech through the intersection as fast as possible

32) accelerate as much as you can over the distance of one block, then stop for the stop sign and do it again

otm

33. http://crosslandteam.com/junk.JPG

34) you're gonna make a left turn, but you don't have an arrow. maybe because there's no arrow, maybe there aren't enough cars in the left turn lane. what to do? turn left in front of the cars heading in the opposite direction as soon as the light turns green.

bad driver signifiers on toll bridges could be a thread of its own

this is not a bad driver signifier but on the same block as the accelerating people (sadly) i watched some neighborhood kids lay out a line of small toys, probably from happy meals, just so they could watch cars run over them. some cars drove straight through but some stopped to think about it and then tried to drive around the toys!

xpost ugh yeah lets not start toll bridges. AAAAGH

35) not speeding up to merge at traffic speed (in normal traffic); or coming to a stop in a merge lane (in normal traffic)

36) It's not looking over your shoulder that's a problem...it's when the whole car swerves when you do it.

(37) being so badly parked in a parking space that it's blatantly obvious that you are retarded, and not even bothering to correct

Nascent transportational warfare prevents me from sympathizing with people annoyed about things that slow them down like someone rooting for quarters in a toll lane.

xpost lol at "blatantly obvious that you are retarded"

Sarge I didn't mean those ppl are bad drivers while not stoned even though I see that it sounded like that. I just really don't buy the whole being stoned = more cautious = better driver argument.

(38) part of your car is smashed all to hell, and/or missing rear bumper...AND you are driving like a freak of nature. There may be extenuating reasons for the car damage but sometimes the driving does ALL the talking

(39) decals that look like bullet holes

Nascent transportational warfare prevents me from sympathizing with people annoyed about things that slow them down like someone rooting for quarters in a toll lane.

That doesn't bug me ... I'm talking about people that will drive in a toll lane clearly marked "closed" so that they can get to the front faster, then try to cut into an open lane

got in my only ever car accident while stoned btw. pretty sure i've posted the story of chasing the oscar meyer weinermobile on ilx before.

40) TAILGATING on freeway

41) driving with parking lights on ("i don't need my lights on, i can see just fine")

42) multiple dents/damage to front of car

43. You made threads like this: People who look over their shoulder to check their blind spot when changing lanes on a motorway, classic or fucking terrifying?

Attempting to edge a cyclist, let's call him me, into the curb, while doing a left turn, and when that cyclist angrily pushes his hand back to indicate that the driver should give him some space, (because the cyclist is, in fact, in the correct position on the road) screaming 'I'm going to smash your f***ing face in you f***ing c***, pull over, I'm going to smash your f***ing face in. I'm going to f***ing kill you.'

People who don't realize their turn signal has been on ever since they turned ten miles back.

44. Driver's window is open, from which a dog's head sticks out, tongue flapping happily in the wind.

- Any sort of Christian paraphernalia on bumper.

- Any sort of wiccan paraphernalia on bumper.

- Any sort of SUV or large car with environmental stickers on it.

dude who nearly rear-ended me following too closely the other day had one of these on his bumper
http://images6.cafepress.com/nocache/product/372359666v2147483647_240x240_Front.jpg

okay, that said, i do protest to the 'any bumper sticker' rule. so many exemplary drivers have bumper stickers on their cars. (like me, for instance). i think it really depends on the type of bumper sticker. for example, i have an Oberlin Alumni sticker, a WOBC sticker featuring the face of a young Michael Jackson, a sticker for Sweat Records in Miami, and a sticker for Mothership records... it's really when it gets into politics/religion/social issues that one must beware beware...

People who don't realize their turn signal has been on ever since they turned ten miles back.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, September 27, 2009 10:50 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

44. Driver's window is open, from which a dog's head sticks out, tongue flapping happily in the wind.

― Aimless, Sunday, September 27, 2009 12:24 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

Turn signal person could just have radio on.

Dog person A-OK in my book.

xpost what

no, beth is otm - you should know to turn it off after you're done turning, duh

48. ownership of a pickup truck

bam i think the point is that the dog is on the driver's side. so either there is a dog driving or the dog is on the driver's lap.

A lot of cars these days have it turn off for you after you make the turn, but if the person wasn't just changing lanes, and moved through an intersection and the blinker didn't click off, I think it's a forgivable error. The person's seat height and driver wheel placement might mask the blinker, and the radio might be just a little louder than the clicking.

xpost Oh, that's not safe.

You know what's not safe? Don't ever drive with a basketball in your lap.

xp you turn it on, you can turn it off imo

Naturally, you can, but I usually know what's going on when I see a light blinking for awhile. I've never seen someone with their blinker on for a half mile.

naturally - mechanically

With the bumper sticker talk - I never see bumper stickers and think, That person's a bad driver.

you are just too forgiving of bad drivers and that makes me think you might be a bad driver

I'm not a great driver, but I'm cautious. I don't drive fast, I don't drive aggressively. If someone is in the car with me, I really don't mind if they're paying attention to the road, because I'll probably be talking to them and a little excited.

But I bike most places, which sort of balances out my forgiveness, because I get shit from drivers all the time. I get angry and hateful and sometimes want them all to lose their licenses. I wouldn't mind really, really strict driving laws that stripped everyone of their licenses. It's cultural, really, because I hate the effect roads and car culture has had on getting to be a person.

http://www.sdt.com.au/images/SDT%20Bumper%20Sticker%20%28Adv-sml%29.jpg

www.stfu.com.au

free associative, not directed at anyone

49(?): http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2605/3959181761_97e0a968ea.jpg

You see kids behind the wheel occasionally here, on the dirt roads. It's legal as long as it's a private road.

He wasn't driving that badly though tbf, but this was in a park with loads of kids playing football and flying kites and generally shouldn't have to be worried about kids driving cars around the place.

maybe he really is an adult. a late bloomer. :)

2) drives in the dark without lights on for more than 5 seconds before realizing

― iirc flair (J0rdan S.), Saturday, September 26, 2009 9:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^^^I see a LOT more of this than I used to. It's crazy.

Anyway, 49) Not turning lights on during heavy rain or snow.

50. Empty beer cans shooting from the driver's side window at regular intervals.

(Drove behind a truck in New Mexico that was ejecting empties every mile or so, much to my complete dismay.)

51. Hands at ten to two

52. Non-crossed arm turning aka feeding the steering wheel

53. Handbrake on at red lights

^^^I do all these! (although not all the time) - 21 years accident free driving!

54. tailgating a u-haul. the u-haul driver can't SEE you when you do that, and is probably not that familiar with the vehicle and its size.

55. not using turn signals to switch lanes in heavy traffic on the highway

56. BMW.

Dog person A-OK in my book.

Shirley, you jest.

Bumper Stickers... I'm suspicious of anyone who seriously tries to propagate an ideology by means of their driving skills.

57 (amazing that it got this high without mention): Cell Phones!

my new neighbor has a befuddling collection of stickers:

a Wiccan bumper sticker
a Native American bumper sticker
a some-kind of Christian church bumper sticker
a bumper sticker advertising some kind of meat wholesaler

i totally feed the wheel. i have had one accident and one other mishap of legal sorts, but i am really the best driver i know. i'm aggressive but not scary, and have an obsession with maps and so i know where i'm going at all points, even if i've never been to the place before...so whatevs.

I suck at reversing and parallel parking. I have my doubts that I am little more than a merely above-average driver.

though: I don't suck as much at reversing as two gals I tailgated with today. Both had to reverse straight back into parking spaces...ie very little maneuvering required and NEITHER of them looked over their shoulder, just peered into their rear view mirrors and zig-zagged their way back into the spaces in an alarming fashion. It was kind of frightening. I was almost certain that there was going to be some kind of prang.

if anything it made me feel a little better about my own reversing 'skills'

I love parallel parking. If I'm with someone who hates it or can't do it (I have friends who are really really bad) I'll get out and do it for them. I don't know why but somehow I got really good at it over time.

here's the thing: when I drove a manual transmission without power steering, I was a GUN at parallel parking. now that I drive an automatic with power steering I am ASS. I think part of it is switching countries: ie driving on different side of road, all my muscle memory is with using different hand, different shoulder, etc. But still. So humiliating to suck at this.

my husband finds it hilarious, ie LOL YOU PARK LIKE A GURL

prang

Yeah I'm sure the switching countries and manual to automatic has something to do with. I would park for you! ;)

when I was learning to drive like an 'Merican, my husband was all, "But you could drive back home. Why can't you do it here?"

I was learning on a manual first, when I was practicing for my US license, and every.single.time I had to shift, my LEFT hand would drop down, instead of my right. It was weird. I kept trying to explain to him that my brain knows all the signifiers, but keeps sending them to the wrong parts of me. It took forever for me to get it figured out. Lots of sitting in the car and crying like a gurl.

I think you're brave for learning to drive over here. I spent two years in England but never even attempted driving over there. I was way too scared.

I was terrified for a long time. The first time my husband drove me to work and we merged onto the freeway I shrieked and grabbed his arm and then burst into tears because I thought we were going to die. The terror stayed with me for a couple of years, and then that slowly turned to laziness. Then my husband came up for his 3 month sabbatical which meant I had to learn how to drive or pathetically bum rides from co-workers on a daily basis. So by that time the terror was pretty much gone (we're talking a total of 4 years before I went for my license). I'm glad I did it. But it was bloody hard work!

re: shrieking and crying -- American traffic, or at least Sacramento traffic, seemed to travel at a crazy fast speeed compared to Melbourne or my cowtown where I grew up. Australians for the most part obey road rules and speed limits. Americans take it all under advisement. that takes some getting used to.

bad driver signifier: lives in los angeles county. i've said it before, but i think the DMVs here hand out licenses like they're halloween candy.

and the drivers are either super-aggressive or oblivious to everything. lots of cell-phone talkers.

i dunno if this is a bad driver signifier or just a douchebag signifier, but this morning i saw a huge escalade pulling out of a parking space reserved for compacts. and there was ONE person in the escalade.

Whenever I drive through LA county I'm always astounded by the precision of drivers there. That they can move bumper-to-bumper at 65mph is surely the sign of a highly organized society. It is impressive, and I've never seen anything like it anywhere else...

Can someone explain why it's so hard to drive in the US? Y'all keep saying it is. (Not denying it. I'm just slow at getting it. LOL Also I need massive discouragement from doing it once I have my license here.)

5) when you change into another lane, speeds up so it can seem as though you cut him or her off and then they can honk at you (the other day i had someone honk at me for merging ahead of them when they were 6-7 car lengths behind me)

I got this wrong. I thought it was speeding up if you change lanes. I have difficult with spacial analysis (?), I am bad at judging distances. I guess it's with just having one good working eye? (No, I passed the eye test like a pro.)

Parallel parking is ESSENTIAL here (in your exam and just in practice). So I have been postponing taking my practical exam. If you are just mediocre, they won't even let you pass. It has to be fan-bloody-tastic. So my friend has been teaching me. Went for my first "lesson". I should have done this much earlier (she kept begging). She's an amazing parallel parker and a fantastic teacher. WIth her I have a chance of passing my exam.

TBH I love driving but I am still so fucking scared. :-(

Hands at ten to two

What? This is perfectly acceptable!In fact I think it's mentioned in our book as a good hand position.

U.S driving just seems totally lawless, and it's a weird mixture of completely inappropriately fast for the traffic conditions and a much lower average speed than in europe, neither of which inspires any confidence.

hugging right hand (for merkins/yurpeens read left hand) side of the road while travelling significantly below the limit. i live in a country that only does single lane roads for most of the network.

Xpost Woha.

Apparently Japan is totally terrifying in its strictness. Also near the place my parents live I noticed the fucking hardest crossroad EVER. You also need to stop (coming from the right middle road, I think) ON THE MIDDLE of it which would terrify the fuck out of me. I should have taken a pic.

Hands at ten to two

What? This is perfectly acceptable!In fact I think it's mentioned in our book as a good hand position.

Just trying to cement my position as king of driving challops. Honestly though I can't do that for more than five minutes, my arms get tired. And handbrake on at red lights - that seriously interferes with my ability to pull away with 0.0001 seconds of them going green.

ten to four always seemed both more comfortable and safer, ten to two leaves your hands too close together?

seriously interferes with my ability to pull away with 0.0001 seconds of them going green

Who waits for green, treehugger!

what was i thinking

What this thread needs is a good Europe/UK vs. USA driving discussion.

Driving involves a bunch of unwritten rules and when you're a European in the USA or vice-versa you don't get those at first and so it seems lawless. But once you pick up the conventions it makes more sense. What's bizarre is that there are unwritten conventions for an activity as fast/deadly as driving.

56. BMW.

The first time I was in a queue of stop-start traffic on a steep hill I was kind of terrified, being a learner and not very practised at swift handbraking, hill starts etc... and there was a BMW like two inches behind me. NOT A GOOD PLACE TO PUT YOURSELF. I mean, perhaps consider in future that a driving instruction car with L-plates all over it might also be a signifier of potential bad driving, and maybe a little leeway could be provided, y'know, for your own safety maybe even more than mine?

A friend's windscreen squirter is misaligned and goes right over the car. He said he could probably fix it but he likes being able to spray any cars which are too close behind him like bad puppies.

you can turn your back windscreen sprayer around to do this, or stick a needle in it an experiment until you get the angle right.

so i've heard, anyway.

ten to four always seemed both more comfortable and safer, ten to two leaves your hands too close together?

Actually I think that's actually better. Honestly I don't ever do the 10-2 thing, more like 10-4.

That hill start thing terrifies me. How do you guys do it? Here we are taught two ways (handbrake but also the one where you slowly connect and then go from the brake to gaspedal while remaining on gear pedal or whatever the fuckyou call it in English. The latter is NOT my thing. Honestly I can't wait to get a new car that has the hillstart option.)

Oh yeah, my friend's friend drives in the MIDDLE OF TWO LANES cause it makes her feel safer. If that's not a signifier I don't know what is!

nathalie i haven't a clue what that second option on the hillstart even sounds like, apart from a recipe for a clutch replacement

It's when you have a manual (gear?). Which I guess you guys don't usually?

1. Come to a complete stop
2. Shift into neutral
3. Pull the handbrake up
4. Shift into a first gear
5. With the handbrake on try starting normally as you would've if the ground was leveled
6. You will feel (notice) that the car is trying to move, but handbrake is not letting the car go forward (hood will maybe go up, depends on what car you drive)
7. Release the handbrake and the car will start moving with not rolling back (you are not going to hit the car even if the car is 5 inches behind you and you're driving in San Francisco:) )

(From Yahoo answers)

Oh shit, hahaha, that's with the handbrake option. Nevermind.

we have manual gears, but the concept of a hill start without handbrake is O_o

what are these hill things?

if you know where the transition point is between your clutch and your gas pedals there's no need for a handbrake start is there? on steep hills i used to just sit there - when i drove - with the car perched right on the point where the gas pedal "caught" the clutch - light changes, vrrroooom

if this was bad for the gears nobody ever told me

...but yes if stopping on a hill (more likely, bridge) for a short period of time eg lights or traffic I usually just hold the car on the biting point rather than keep handbraking on/off. it's less effort i think.

or what tracer said... xpost obv.

Tom, do you mean the one that the car controls? New cars have this ability apparently. I can't wait to get it. I have yet to do a uphill start alone. Our driving school only teaches without the handbrake. Scared the fuck out of me really. But that was before I "felt" the connect. I guess now I could do it, but I think I'll opt for handbrake option honestly.

no magic hillstart buttons in my 11-year old Renault, sadly. Although I'm not sure I'd know when to use it anyway. Just meant a plain, manual hill-start without needing the handbrake, I assume the same as the way they're teaching you. Does take a bit of practice at first but it's second nature now.

This thread is making me very very happy that I chose not to pursue a job that would require me to "work out of my car" (that I would have to buy) and drive all over the great state of IL. Gah.

mammary glands amirite

if you know where the transition point is between your clutch and your gas pedals there's no need for a handbrake start is there? on steep hills i used to just sit there - when i drove - with the car perched right on the point where the gas pedal "caught" the clutch - light changes, vrrroooom

if this was bad for the gears nobody ever told me

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 28 September 2009 12:30 (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i do this too, it probably would wear down your clutch quicker. and probably way harder/impossible on an automatic. and deffo won't pass your driving test doing it.

I have had more Obies in my life than most non-Oberlin people. Oberlin stickers have always indicated not just bad but terrifyingly bad driving to me.

and deffo won't pass your driving test doing it.

really?? i've always assumed it was better - it's simpler, you can keep your hands on the wheel, etc

58 - "dancing skeletons" grateful dead sticker

59 - yellow crown victoria with "NYC taxi" written on the side

60. The South

In my neighborhood the livery cab drivers are the absolute worst. They're pretty much maniacs.

xpost ... of England I mean. i have no idea how they drive in the south of most places. South Wales seemed to be ok. I haven't driven in the south of any other countries.

61) Living within 50 miles of Washington, DC

62 baldness.

i was referring to actually starting a car on a hill, specifically. finding the 'biting point' when you're temporarily stopped on a hill, yeah i do that.

hey re:62 fu tom

I'm getting that way myself !

63 driving gloves

64 do not understand box junctions

What's a box junction? Is that a British thing?

many xposts: when I was driving my husband's manual early on in my US driving practice, we were coming out of a parking garage, and there's traffic lights at the top which forces you to stop on the incline. So I did my usual handbrake hillstart stuff...and my husband was all, 'Um, wtf are you doing?' I took off okay, it wasn't a thing, but he never used handbrake for hillstarts, even when he lived in San Fran. He does that precarious clutch/gas/brake thing which I just always envision would end in me rolling all the way down the hill taking many cars with me. Even now in an automatic, I'm a bit terrified of the SF inclines. I let hub drive those.

LOL driving gloves

65) head is same height as steering wheel, peering through steering wheel to see out the windshield.
bad news.

i had no idea what box junction was but i think my neighborhood really needs them

US could do with box junctions, for sure.

Any Melburnians want to reprazent over hook turns?
Or the Royal Parade roundabout from hell with two way trams running through the middle?

After looking up the box junctions, I'm convinced there is now way those would work in the US. Half the drivers can't be bothered to look at a stop sign, do you think some lines painted on the road will fare any better?

Oh, we have box junctions, at least in some cities, but they're only indicated by painted-on crosswalk lines and signs that say "DON'T BLOCK THE BOX". Not that anyone pays any attention.

But it's like the metric system. If the rest of the known universe can learn it, surely Americans can too. But no, everyone takes to the street if they can't BE AWESOME at something right away. (Sorry, feeling very Australian today. Curse of Dual-citizenship = schizophrenia)

That sounded more vehement written down than it did in my head. oops.

there's a special place in hell reserved for people who block the box. thank you for endangering my life while i'm crossing the street, fucktard. at least back up a little if you have room.

the same special place in hell is reserved for people who cut off my right-of-way at the walk signal because they can't wait to make a sharp turn in my direction.

i once saw some guy beginning to cross the street when a BMW screeched to a halt maybe three feet in front of him, blocking his path. the dude stopped for a second, turned around and walked back a-ways, then turned around and ran up and over and BMW's hood and just kept on a-runnin'.

it wouldn't peeve me off so much if i didn't have only (e.g.) 15 seconds to cross six lanes of traffic.

when I moved to Sacramento I walked everywhere, and I lost count of the number of times I got HONKED by cars turning right, when I was walking on a GREEN signal. Being a pedestrian sucks in Sacramento.

though I kind of hate Sacramento bicyclists, now that I'm driving. Who says they don't have to stop at a normal stop sign? they just blow right through anything that's not a red light. I'll share the road with you, my friends, but don't forget who's driving the giant hunk of metal that will frak your sh1t up should you run into me.

yeah i always find myself pointing puzzledly at the "walk" sign after being honked at

and afterwards I always curse myself for not going Ratso Rizzo on their a55es: banging on the hood of their car and screaming "AHM WAWHKIN HEAH"

Actually I did gleefully say it when I got honked in New York recently. But I said kind of quietly to myself in case I got run over.

66) i never experienced this until moving to chicago so maybe it's a local thing but: pulling into the right hand turn lane at an intersection during a red light, passing the 10 or so cars lined up to go straight, then when the light turns green, slamming on the gas and trying to veer back into the lane of cars going straight, ahead of everyone else, because you're really important and your time is way more valuable than everyone else's.

that's a big l.a. thing, i see it many times each day

I see that pretty much daily, yeah. Annoys me to no end.

But so do bicyclists that ignore stop signs and stoplights. I just live in fear of hitting a bicyclist that ignores a red light and obviously I'm going to look like the bad guy because "car hits bike" scenario.

lol i do that, but not if it's a right turn only lane

1) left arm dangling casually out of the car window, hanging straight down

2) drives in the dark without lights on for more than 5 seconds before realizing

lolz I do/have done both of these (but there are lots of streetlights in SF so its not always totally obvious that my lights aren't on!)

xpost The opposite is equally annoying. Car is stopped at a red light, but then when the left turn lane gets the green arrow, suddenly elects to duck into the left turn lane, just as the cars start to move through the light. Like, yeah, none of us really need to turn here anyway, you go ahead.

also IDIOTS who decide that when the Left turn lane gets a green arrow, that would be the perfect time for them to execute their Right turn into the same street.
We're left turning into all 3 lanes of traffic, my friend...and you WILL get cleaned up by someone else if it's not me so pull your bloody nose in and wait for the traffic to clear.

Another recent trend that has bothered me is that now that they've installed these red light cameras all over the place, it seems some people are so scared to get caught running a red that they'll actually start slowing way down while the light is still green JUST IN CASE it were to suddenly turn red and skip the yellow on them or something.

beverly hills has ridiculously short yellow lights, i'm always super cautious when i'm rolling thru there

traffic cops/cameras in sacramento are going fine-crazy because of the budget shortfall, so they are stinging everyone and everything they can think of. 3 co-workers in one lunch hour got stung doing california rolls (rolling through a right turn on a red). Folks are saying they've been stung for right turning on red altogether...but I'm suspicious that they're in denial that they were rolling to start with.

around folsom I've seen lines of 4 and 5 cars being picked off as they roll through the redl; traffic cops waiting right around the corner, picking them off like ducks in a shooting gallery.

I got ticketed in San Leandro a bit ago for *very* lightly rolling a stop sign. On a right turn. At a T-intersection (turning onto the "stem" of the T w/no possibility of oncoming traffic). With no other cars on the road.
I can't really contest it. I definitely rolled the sign, but I'm kinda surprised anyone cared. Ah well $260 to the county then.

I guess the lesson is: when California is poor, drive more conservatively.

Unrelated, but on similar topic...My co-worker got chewed out by the traffic cop (after being picked up on a California roll ticket)...he asked for her registration and she reached into her glovebox to get it, and he was all 'You should keep that in your wallet'...WTF? Why would I do that, exactly? The amount of times I need my registration while I'm in my CAR surely outweigh the number of times I need it when I'm not.

when I moved to Sacramento I walked everywhere, and I lost count of the number of times I got HONKED by cars turning right, when I was walking on a GREEN signal. Being a pedestrian sucks in Sacramento.

though I kind of hate Sacramento bicyclists, now that I'm driving. Who says they don't have to stop at a normal stop sign? they just blow right through anything that's not a red light. I'll share the road with you, my friends, but don't forget who's driving the giant hunk of metal that will frak your sh1t up should you run into me.

Sub "Chicago" for "Sacremento" and yes. I have actually gotten into stupid, embarrassing yelling/obscene gesture fights with drivers trying to make a right turn while I cross the street with the light. I have a lot of love for bike riders, but I have also nearly been hit by them while walking (and Jeff DID get hit by a bike) and I wish the more obnoxious bike riders would get over themselves.

Why would I do that, exactly? The amount of times I need my registration while I'm in my CAR surely outweigh the number of times I need it when I'm not.

because you could be reaching into your glove compartment for all kinds of shit (a weapon, etc.)

have you never watched a cop show

and there's no way you could have a weapon in your pocket

oh I never thought of that. but still. In FOLSOM?

the bike riders around folsom yell at people on the bike trails. they even 'tailgated' a coworker of mine who was riding a horse, and she was all, um my horse can kick your face in so you better back up, pal. he then yelled at her and said he was going to call the city. bike riders round these parts be juicing, I swear.

i think most people keep their registration in the glove compartment

15+ year old Lexus/Infiniti sedan
W The President sticker

Omg: RON PAUL bumper sticker. Dead giveaway.

Any type of professional driver = bad driver: limosine, cab, bus, truck. They all suck around here.

Also, note to Pennsylvania drivers: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE LEFT LANE WHEN YOU COME TO NEW JERSEY.

Thank you.

Noticed this coming back on 1-80 last night from Oakland...drivers that toodle along in the middle lane and then suddlenly decide to switch lanes, speed up to frikin 90 and tailgate you in the left lane...you let them by, and then they toodle on back to the middle lane and I end up passing them again. Go fast, or go slow, I don't care. Just GO AWAY.

the first time i ever drove on the left was in melbourne. it wasn't that bad but the hook turns were totally wtf.

What are hook turns? Are these like the Michigan left?

Oh no, I just looked them up and that is SO WEIRD AND WRONG.

try this jetlagged

Noooooo make it stop!

ahh i have a headache now wtfff

Did anyone else see this thread title and wonder why it wasn't on the "boring computer questions" thread?

No.

Now I know.

Hook turns are THE baptism of fire...and a valid reason why country folks are fearful of 'driving in the city' when it comes to Melbourne. But I will say they're a bit of an adrenalin rush once you get the hang of them. THey're always cut with that tinge of 'omg I'm going to DIE' even when you complete them successfully

Taxi drivers are the fucking worst (right after cyclists who seem to think that... well, they can do pretty much anything). They drive so fast (even if it's only allowed to drive 30 km per hour in the city centre). Assholes.

The other day a car honked because I wouldn't turn into a street. There were like a dozen people CROSSING THE FUCKING ROAD, asshole. What do you want me to do? Crash into'em? I hate people who honk.

Hook turns seem petrifying.

(Honestly though, I don't have road rage. I have post road rage. hah)

I think this is a bad driving signifier. Or a bad decision making signifier:

tailgating as though your child is comatose in the backseat and you need to get to the ER RIGHT NOW MUTHAf##KA...so you back off and let them by, only to witness them then sweep back across all 4 lanes of traffic onto an exit ramp.

REALLY? REALLY?

a guy I work with has pretty bad road rage. He once followed someone all the way to their house after they tailgated him. he's a lovely guy at work but whenever I see him now I always think of that story and find a way not to talk to him for very long.

Noticed this coming back on 1-80 last night from Oakland...drivers that toodle along in the middle lane and then suddlenly decide to switch lanes, speed up to frikin 90 and tailgate you in the left lane...you let them by, and then they toodle on back to the middle lane and I end up passing them again. Go fast, or go slow, I don't care. Just GO AWAY.

― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, September 28, 2009 1:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

If I'm in the wrong mood I hate this.

As a cyclist, I'll do whatever's safe, although usually I won't shoot ahead to the front of an intersection just because I can. Not that I don't. But you have to have your wits about you if you're rolling through stop signs!

I see it regularly at 5.30pm right near the med center where I live...not crazily congested but a regular flow of traffic in both directions through 3 sets of stop signs. These are like kamikaze cyclists or something...or arrogant as all get-out. I know a lot of cyclists myself, and they're all cool with you know, stopping, avoiding injury, obeying road rules. There's some offshoot breed afoot, I think.

Hooks turns are still confusing me! Doesn't that only allow like 1 or 2 cars max to camp out in front of the traffic flow they wish to enter while they wait for the light to change? And don't they stop up other traffic moving in the same direction while they move forward to that spot? What's going on here??

The cars camped out in 'hook turn' position go first when the light turns green in the direction they're turning. And if you're quick off the mark you don't hold up traffic terribly...but I think Melburnites are kind of used to hook turns and don't get bizarre and aggro about them being ahead. It's like when straggling left-turners here get caught in the light change. You let em go. But if you're slow/stupid, you can get trapped/honked at by traffic going in the OTHER direction if you're last in line and misjudge your distance.

I rode with a bunch of cyclists who didn't stop once and it was infuriating. I at least do my slow-way-down-check-to-see-if-it's-all-clear thing, but they wouldn't even bother to look around *at all* when shooting through an intersection! Like it just wasn't what cyclists *do*.
And of course there were close calls, and of course they all acted as if the drivers involved were maniacs clearly in the wrong. I was very very angry after riding with these people.

I see, basically typical urban traffic mess, just in a different configuration

xpost

One day I was driving to a jobsite on your fairly typical two-lane in each direction arterial road and this middle-aged executive type driving a Lexus started tailgating me really, really close. There was no traffic and he had plenty of chances to go around me in the other lane, but nope... kept inching closer and closer. So I switch lanes figuring he'll blow by me. Nope switches lanes right behind me as if it was his idea in the first place and honks at me, then continues to tailgate. So I just very, very gradually slow down... eventually getting down to about 25 in a 45 MPH zone. He finally whips around me, gives me the finger, and speeds on his way. I figure thats the end of it. Nope. Suddenly he slams on his brakes and whips behind me again and proceeds to follow me through 7 or 8 miles of turns through various neighborhoods as I attempted to lose him. At that point I was thinking, "WTF this guy is psycho", so I decided to pull into the next crowded lot. Just happened to be a suburban police station. I turned into the lot and the guy took off.

btw these riders were so clueless that when riding across the Golden Gate they were all side-by-side, forcing everyone out of their way. they were just all completely clueless.

that's exactly what these Sacramento cyclists I see at night are like. Even if they looked, I'd be okay with that. But knowing that you have to be on the lookout for cyclists whizzing through intersections at any moment is worrying, to say the least. And it's definitely infuriating to see them not looking.

I can't believe I noted they were clueless twice! Second sentence I was thinking, "hmmm what word would describe the level of cluelessness exhibited?"

i once saw some guy beginning to cross the street when a BMW screeched to a halt maybe three feet in front of him, blocking his path. the dude stopped for a second, turned around and walked back a-ways, then turned around and ran up and over and BMW's hood and just kept on a-runnin'.

epic. would love to do that.

i believe when he stepped on the hood there was a little extra oomph to his landing

today i saw a big group of skateboarders hogging the bike/jogging path, not really doing any "skating." will these kids grow up to be bad drivers?

66) smoking while talking on phone

lol. my husband used to take pride in this...smoking, answering the phone, and shifting gears (manual transmission). He said he was perfecting his Martin Short in Wag The Dog impersonation, but it always left me with a sickly green pallor as I awaited our impending death on the freeway.

One day I was driving to a jobsite on your fairly typical two-lane in each direction arterial road and this middle-aged executive type driving a Lexus started tailgating me really, really close. There was no traffic and he had plenty of chances to go around me in the other lane, but nope... kept inching closer and closer. So I switch lanes figuring he'll blow by me. Nope switches lanes right behind me as if it was his idea in the first place and honks at me, then continues to tailgate. So I just very, very gradually slow down... eventually getting down to about 25 in a 45 MPH zone. He finally whips around me, gives me the finger, and speeds on his way. I figure thats the end of it. Nope. Suddenly he slams on his brakes and whips behind me again and proceeds to follow me through 7 or 8 miles of turns through various neighborhoods as I attempted to lose him. At that point I was thinking, "WTF this guy is psycho", so I decided to pull into the next crowded lot. Just happened to be a suburban police station. I turned into the lot and the guy took off.

― Size-zero-brigade-embrace-token-chubby-chops (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 28 September 2009 20:37 (1 hour ago) Permalink

I've been through this, but it was with some kids driving a pick up truck in the middle of exurban nowhere. Really shook me up.

lol. my husband used to take pride in this...smoking, answering the phone, and shifting gears (manual transmission).

I am capable of doing this as well (though substitute "messing around with ipod" for "answering the phone"), and I think it's a bit like driving while intoxicated. One can take a certain amount of pride in it, but really, if something unexpected and requiring quick reflexes happens, you are seriously fucked.

It's not a great sign, I don't think, whenever anyone is doing anything at a red light besides patiently and attentively waiting. Dicking around with the radio, fixing up the hairdo, trying to get a quick text in. Especially true if they are so involved that they don't notice the light change. It's as if they are saying, "Ah, finally I can get back to what I'm truly concerned with for a moment."

However, I've said before and will say again: I am a terrible driver. I confess it. I'm Captain Distracted. Notice, though, that I don't drive anymore.

(xxp) I remember once driving down a bumpy single track road in Ireland with my friends, trying to put a tape in the deck and it was jumping around in my hand as the car bounced up and down and i was laughing and then we turned a corner and there was a massive dustcart (aka garbage truck) barrelling towards us and I nearly drove into a ditch.

xxp - there's a lot of that where I live, though the driving without lights on thing is equally common and scarier. The night I got a ticket in Nearby Affluent College Town With Too Many Cops For Its Own Good for having an "irregular headlight pattern", there was a car driving without lights on for about 15 blocks before it turned.

ten to four always seemed both more comfortable and safer, ten to two leaves your hands too close together?

Actually I think that's actually better. Honestly I don't ever do the 10-2 thing, more like 10-4.

lately ive been catching myself driving with my right hand on 11 and left on 1 ie arms crossed over each other.

if you know where the transition point is between your clutch and your gas pedals there's no need for a handbrake start is there? on steep hills i used to just sit there - when i drove - with the car perched right on the point where the gas pedal "caught" the clutch - light changes, vrrroooom

if this was bad for the gears nobody ever told me

― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 28, 2009 7:30 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark

this is exactly what i do.

Ugh, this morning I got stuck behind a guy switching between doing 15 and 25 in a 45 zone. Finally got a chance to pass him and surprise, surprise... cell phone 6 inches from his face texting away. I really wish there was some safe way to let these people know that THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR AT ALL FOR SOMEONE OPERATING A PIECE OF HEAVY MACHINERY.

http://download.lardlad.com/framegrabs/EABF15/28.jpg

I really wish there was some safe way to let these people know that THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR AT ALL FOR SOMEONE OPERATING A PIECE OF HEAVY MACHINERY.

This becomes illegal in Maryland tomorrow, so move here and call the cops!

Will they actually enforce it though? I mean, the hands free law in Chicago amounted to a big, fat pile of no difference at all. I'm skeptical that laws targeting texters will make an impact.

i'm a good driver but i seem to be getting worse. where once i felt like i was aware of everything and on top of it, i increasingly feel oblivious to/overwhelmed by all the things that are going on. this may be a function of driving in nyc, tho

In California they banned talking on a phone but allowed hands-free. But it's a bandaid, because even talking on a bluetooth headset while you're driving still divides your attention. I just think phones, period, are a problem. It's kinda too late to get rid of them altogether...but they're putting out a brushfire with waterpistols as far as I can see. They banned texting AND talking for teenagers...but not adults. So now they have to go back and ban texting. C
It's just kinda ridic.

ooh one I noticed yesterday: stopping over railroad tracks

WTF it's allowed to talk on cellphones in some states/countries? then again uh everyone still does it here. hah

personal freedom isn't it? the right to do risky stuff that might put other people's lives in danger if I fuck it up.

haha i had a total mentos commercial moment with this a few months ago, coming around a corner while on a cell this moto cop who was occupied with another traffic stop saw me, i made a big 'oops, you got me!' face and dropped the phone and he just wagged his finger and smirked and let me pass. i stopped doing it for the most part but tbh the main impetus was getting a new phone that's frustrating to use on the road, whatever works

How about not checking your mirrors before you change lanes AND NEARLY CLEANING ME UP. Luckily there was no-one in the lane next to me so I could swerve and avoid getting frakking sideswiped by this asswipe...but seriously. Check your blindspot, check your mirrors. Is it REALLY that hard?

My walk home takes me through the car park of an office block full of investment banks. So my nomination for number whatever-we're-on is being in the car park of an investment bank.

Luckily I am usually walking through at about 5:35, and leaving before 6 is generally regarded as slacking by investment bankers, so I only get a couple of boy-racing pricks in Saabs, BMWs and Audis accelerating towards my squishy pedestrian arse per week. Still too many.

67. pulls out in front of you to drive 10 miles under the speed limit

68. hummers

70. Pulls out in front of you, the only other car on the road, to slam on the brakes and turn into the very next driveway.

I really wanted to take a photo of this person who was driving down the middle lane of a three lane motorway, large leather bound diary (or something like that) open and balanced on the wheel, phone in one hand, going about 40 mph. But obviously that would have made me a bad driver. Should have just rammed her instead.

Like I said before, I wish there was a way to safely let these people know that shit is NOT OKAY.

Something that happens regularly around here in NJ - not necessarily a sign of a bad driver, but definitely a sign of a rude one: If there's a clearly marked left-turn lane and a straight or right-turn lane, and there's a line of cars in one lane only, someone will invariably get in the other lane, drive up to the front, and then merge back into the lane everyone's waiting in at the last second.

67. pulls out in front of you to drive 10 miles under the speed limit

^ this. I'm terrified of excessive caution. People who slow down for green lights or for obviously clear turns, or who trundle down entry ramps (these are the worst, this is so dangerous) - you think you're being all righteous, in fact I'm having a fit from damn near slamming into the back of you.

you think you're being all righteous, in fact I'm having a fit from damn near slamming into the back of you

Not to be all Mr. Defensive Driver, but I think one should pretty much always assume that anyone could slam on the brakes at any moment, and leave enough following distance to be able to react.

Yeah I know, but it's still so disconcerting when it happens. It also annoys me that I do leave plenty of space for the unexpected, but it only ever seems to get used by slow drivers to pull into. Bloody other people - I just want them to be sensible and largely predictable.

a rude driver is bad driver in my book

The old trick of driving alongside the line of cars and merging in at the last minute is infuriating. When I lived in Detroit and there was a lane closed ahead for construction, a trucker would often pull out into the clear lane (the same lane that was closed further ahead) and deliberately block it, going exactly as fast as the cars in the slow lane, so that 800 selfish drivers couldn't zoom up and merge in at the last minute. They had my gratitude for this and I'm sure they sped up traffic overall.

Yeah I know, but it's still so disconcerting when it happens

I hear you. This has happened to me when there's a green right-turn arrow but the main stoplight is red. I'm expecting someone to slow down but not stop at the intersection, and instead they stop, because they don't see the arrow, and if I'm not on my toes, I would nearly pile into them.

Actually, that used to really annoy me too, until someone pointed out to me that doing it that way scrunches all the congestion up to the roadworks, rather than stringing it all out and blocking junctions. It's actually the patient types who are the selfish ones!

xp to Bnad, that was

That makes sense IF there's another junction or exit that might be blocked by the congestion. Though often this happens in situations where everyone is trying to merge into the same lane and there is no other possible turn. I'm not sure which is more efficient - I guess one might argue that the rude guy is actually making more efficient use of the available roadway. I think that recent book Traffic argues that case, IIRC.

Problem is that when traffic is very heavy, all the last-minute merging activity tends to slow traffic at the merge point to a near-standstill. And this kicks off rapid lane-changing from the type of people who are inclined to respond that way, which slows traffic all the more. I suspect (but don't know) that if everybody just merged as soon as possible/reasonable in a careful and consientious manner, the net effect would be a less dramatic slowdown. Not that that's ever gonna happen.

Agree that when traffic isn't terribly heavy, the last-minute mergers aren't doing any harm.

No, but they're still assholes.

71.(?) Speeds up to cut you off as two lanes merge into one, nearly missing both you and a parked car, only to stop at the next light, flip down the mirror, start applying mascara, and sit oblivious through an entire light cycle while three cars behind honk.

a trucker would often pull out into the clear lane (the same lane that was closed further ahead) and deliberately block it, going exactly as fast as the cars in the slow lane, so that 800 selfish drivers couldn't zoom up and merge in at the last minute.

Partnership on the road! And to think some people don't like driving around trucks....

i read in that recent 'traffic' book that the merge process actually works more smoothly when drivers wait until the last possible minute to merge into the open lane instead of merging over into the open lane at first opportunity. however, i still get pissed at people who stay in the closing lane and then try to merge in right where it's closing, i am irrational human

72. speeds up through crosswalk to avoid having to wait for crossing pedestrians
72a. double asshole points if it's raining

73. riding in the wake of an ambulance

Trying to remember my driving days, not coming up with a ton here, but I suggest

74. Being afraid of passing, other vehicles, big trucks, and up-to-moderate congestion. If being around other vehicles makes you nervous and erratic, you're endangering everyone else. Not to mention pissing them off.

75. http://www.babyretail.co.uk/acatalog/safety1st_baby_on_board_sign_lge.jpg

76. the huge dent in driver's side door of the car that just pulled a left turn from the right lane. some people apparently do not learn.

xpost hahah so true.

left foot up on the dashboard O_O

Saw a left foot out driver's side window just recently! Can't imagine why that would be a good idea or even comfortable.

http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/7144/snowcar3.jpg

refuse to merge when forewarned and continue to remain in your same spot as if insisting your lane still exists and then driving outside the lane when your lane disappears and cutting someone off at the last minute once you finally put 2+2 together.

FUCK YOU.

I told my brother last night that every city I've lived in thinks it has the worst drivers in the world. He said, "It's because every single person thinks they are the best driver and so everyone around them looks bad by comparison." I think he is OTM.

You've never seen bad driving unless you've been to Indonesia. People there behave as if the goal of driving is to overtake whatever is in front of them at all costs, rather than to get safely from A to B. They get bonus points if they can do it whilst texting. It is terrifying.

i've heard driving in the Dominican republic is crazy difficult too