this kid rated all 350 kids in his high school senior class then he lost his parking space

http://www.eagletribune.com/punewsnh/local_story_338235149.html

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dtp7ktb_8c75fj9m3

u can have 8.4, max

oh my god. that kid. O_O

Justin Sweeney: Special Education/ Gangstah/ Druggie. 0. UnKool. I am most certain that he is in an actual gang. It may be made up with some of his friends, but he is really frightening. I have no doubt that he is really in a gang and will mess some person up if they mess with another person of his gang. He most certainly smokes and does illegal things, but because he is special education he is naïve about that kind of stuff and has probably bought cream of wheat instead of meth.

Brittany Hakimi: Fake Girl. 4. Cool. She is very orange and she looks like she has done a lot to her face and will do a lot to herself in her future. She is not pleased with the way she looks and so she has to make herself up so much and change her appearances so much that she does all of these things to make herself feel better. She seems like a fake bwitch as well, always looking at people like they smell bad.

this kid rated all 350 kids in his message board community then he lost his posting privileges

he rated everyone

lol

That kid is a serial killer in training.

meta to the max

x-post yes.

I also heard that he does push ups in the bathroom, which is weird.

well that is sort of weird tbh

Seriously, after a cursory glance through his 'manifesto', dude reminds me of that gym shooter from a few months back. It's creepy as hell.

I find it weird that he'd even have the capability of rating every single member of his high school class. there are plenty of people in my senior class who I never met, and it was about the same size.

holy shit I went to this high school (class of '05) — ILX ARE YOU STALKING ME?

this kid is a tool.

unregistered. Special Education. 4. Cool.

I guess you could call her a blunderbuss. What a wonderful vocabulary word!

looool

i would've appreciated facebook page links

I would like to meet up with him again after college and show my family that I have a black friend.

III. Categories of People (in no particular order)
1. Josh Tubbs/Mandy Knight: equivalent to infinity on the 0 – 10 scale
2. Tool
3. Emo/Goth/Punk/Scene (there is no difference, really)
4. Wannabes
5. Nerds
6. Annoying kids
7. Dark, promiscuous five year olds
8. Band-geek
9. Timberlane Players
10. Fake girls
11. Gays/Lesbians
12. Sporty
13. Jocks
14. Quiet kids
15. Special education
16. Advanced Placement/ Accelerated
17. Gray kids
18. Performing Arts Center (PAC) Kids
19. Artistic
20. “Different”
21. Teachers
22. Druggie
23. Extremely Over-Involved and Over-Worked
24. Just living life
25. Gangstah
26. Trying their hardest to be stupid
27. Nice
28. Bwitches

lol harbl

I find it weird that he'd even have the capability of rating every single member of his high school class. there are plenty of people in my senior class who I never met, and it was about the same size.

My graduating class was 87 and I probably didn't know half of them. This whole thing indicates a really unhealthy level of fixation and delusion. He's, like, half a step away from saying, "THEY'RE ALL MEAT! NOTHING BUT PUTRID MEAT!"

"dark promiscuous five-year-olds" is a pretty awesome classification

24. Just living life

hell yes 2 these kids

I also sticker binders for my Advanced Placement classes with Mandy and really like to gossip with her. That is basically all we do when we hang out, gossip and sticker. That seems to be the end of my stuff, so I will have to continue on with the categories of people.

can't wait to see a youtube of this kid getting beat up

I guess it goes that when you don’t know much you become a gym teacher, which seems to be the case with many of the gym teachers that exist today. However, while he may be cool, I still think he will be able to work his way up to kool shortly after this novel is finished. I just have to keep saying funny things and keep saying bad things about Amber.

This whole thing indicates a really unhealthy level of fixation

this. i read (skimmed) about half of it, but a big huge chunk of his "novel" concern how these people treat him or make him feel about himself - or weirder still, how he imagines they would treat him or make him feel. which is just sad.

this guy is a high school senior? the writing level seems 8th grade at best. if I had done something like this in high school I think it would have been incredibly witty and clever and etc, versus

"They also wear sweatpants most of the time and short shirts that show off their mid drift."

Actually, I did do something like this, I started a "slam book" in middle school which was just a notebook that was passed around and people would write random shit and nasty things in it. When it was found a bunch of us had to go to Saturday school as punishment. Thankfully this was 1999, before we would have even known how to harness the powers of the internet, so my name isn't forever attached to something so lame (although hopefully I would have had the sense to not use my real name and maybe lock down the website)

Best category of people (in Timberlane High School)

I just have to keep saying funny things and keep saying bad things about Amber.

― ice cr?m, Sunday, December 6, 2009 4:45 PM (49 seconds ago) Bookmark

jesus wheeping christ

"he will become a better person (i.e., more favorably inclined towards me) if i perform the correct sequence of actions in his presence"

Caleigh Ouellette said she only had a class with Tubbs for a few days before dropping it for another class. Still, Tubbs described her as frequently acting "stupid" in his book.

"Most of the things he said were opinions and were really stupid," Hatfield said.

taste of his own medicine? eh, high school kids

Mandy and I consider ourselves as one unit, so it was impossible for one of us to take the lead. We would discuss which step we would take next and make decisions as a pair.

guys this kid sounds seriously mentally ill

i was a 14. 3 maybe 5.

"was"

Hailing from the bustling town of Sandown, New Hampshire, seventeen-year-old Josh Tubbs is a senior here at Timberlane. Not only is he Co-President of the seniors and an officer in a bunch of kool stuff, but he also owns all fifty state quarters and over 1000 Pokémon cards, including a holographic Charizard. Josh answers, “no comment” on whether he is power hungry.

. In March of freshman year, my friend, Mandy decided to raise money for a cure for Autism, and to raise awareness of the condition. We knew we couldn’t do much, but we knew it was the right thing to do, seeing that Mandy’s brother has Autism. Knowing our task, we began collecting money in April, which is Autism Awareness month. We rose about two hundred dollars—a good start for our first year, but we knew that sophomore year would have to show more results.

Not sayin', just sayin'.

need to get mandy knights reaction to all this

169. Mandy Knight: Mandy Knight/Josh Tubbs. Infinity. KOOL. I have known Mandy since I was born and since we were in diapers. She has always been my neighbor and she has basically been that one constant in my life—family excluded—that has never ever changed. She is that thing that keeps me anchored and keeps me constant in life. We are basically one unit and we gossip about everything. We are probably the best friends in the entire world and will be inseparable for life. I am unable to think of what life will be like without her because I do not think that she will ever be out of my life. She is the exact same kind of immature that I am. We are both that kind of immature that it is not obnoxious like the kool kids, but more like the kids that are just innocent and sheltered and just want to bounce on the trampoline and swing on the swings. At first, the two of us and Sarah Calder were all best friends, then she and Sarah were together without me, now Mandy and I are together without Sarah and that is the way that it is going to be. She is like my other half, without being a girlfriend. We are just one unit and if one person dates one of us, it is basically like they are dating both of us. She is basically the coolest person out there because she embodies the idea of being kool and living life the right way, which is the way that I want people to live their lives. The only thing is that she can do a lot of stuff, except she does not put herself to that bar. She is my counterpart in life and the most fun person in the world. She is chill about things, but knows when things are icky and has lots of juicy gossip things to talk about.

i have not read catcher in the rye but this is kinda how i imagine that kid from it to be

guys this reads like a hypothetical stay positive 77er's nightmare teenage years???

At first, the two of us and Sarah Calder were all best friends, then she and Sarah were together without me, now Mandy and I are together without Sarah and that is the way that it is going to be.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2007/12/30/helicopter_lead_wideweb__470x310,0.jpg

i really want to dig through SEN10RS and find lols to post, but it has to be the most boring thing every to ignite a controversy

"every" is not right

"She is the kind of girl that has to have a boy friend or else she will explode strange colors in strange smoke formations that would defy science."

"No explanation needed, I am just the best thing since canned bread."

Huh.

At first, the two of us and Sarah Calder were all best friends, then she and Sarah were together without me, now Mandy and I are together without Sarah and that is the way that it is going to be.

― SBanned of Brothers (Noodle Vague), Sunday, December 6, 2009 4:59 PM (57 seconds ago) Bookmark

She is like my other half, without being a girlfriend. We are just one unit and if one person dates one of us, it is basically like they are dating both of us.

i just noticed canned bread in the supermarket for the first time the other day. don't see the appeal, except i imagine that it is remarkably moist.

48. Sarah Calder: Quiet. 8. Kool. Mandy, her, and I used to be super kool friends, then Mandy and she went out on their own path, then Mandy and I are on our own path and she seems to have no friends and she is really quiet and sticks her chin in her coat or shirt. It was nice to have the playgroup seniors, because we were the oldest kids in playgroup in our neighborhood, but then that ended when I was like 6 and we had a nice reunion when I was like 12 at my house. She does sports, but it is still annoying that she thinks she is better than me and Mandy because she does not talk and just shoves her chin into her coat. It would be nice to have her back and the playgroup seniors back. But now we are actual seniors, which is kool. She is very standoffish to people and just about everything that breathes and it is really weird to see her and not talk to her.

I love how gays and lesbians have their own category. Coz, you know, they can't be anything else.

HAHAHAHA this was a NaNoWriMo

lol new hampshire

this doesn't sound like a mentally ill kid to me, just another bored attention-hungry teenager. i mean, to kind of an extreme, but not mentally ill.

"I would like people who are taking a few comments out of context to understand that I deeply regret if they were offended."

48. Sarah Calder: Quiet. 8. Kool. Mandy, her, and I used to be super kool friends, then Mandy and she went out on their own path, then Mandy and I are on our own path and she seems to have no friends and she is really quiet and sticks her chin in her coat or shirt. It was nice to have the playgroup seniors, because we were the oldest kids in playgroup in our neighborhood, but then that ended when I was like 6 and we had a nice reunion when I was like 12 at my house. She does sports, but it is still annoying that she thinks she is better than me and Mandy because she does not talk and just shoves her chin into her coat. It would be nice to have her back and the playgroup seniors back. But now we are actual seniors, which is kool. She is very standoffish to people and just about everything that breathes and it is really weird to see her and not talk to her.

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs104.snc3/15135_195968972756_726857756_3501684_4746097_n.jpg

That kid is a serial killer in training.

― Pooping And Crying (Deric W. Haircare), Sunday, December 6, 2009 6:27 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

kinda lol but mostly sad

i couldn't actually read that whole thing (small type!) but the whole 'make up arbitrary classifications for social indexing' of fellow classmates was something i did and joked about with my friends, but in a way more lightweight, "just livin' life" kinda way (ie - EVERYONE knew who the goths were, that's life). this kid could have just as easily written a few thousand words and classified an extensive baseball card collection, but the social fixation seems like a complex of OCD stuff and some kind of deep anxiety about place and selfworth or w/e. if he wasn't already an acknowledged weirdo by his peers, he will be now. which will only make this all worse, etc. ideally he'd get treatment for all this within the community, but some ppl will probably never forgive him :(

xp wait it's a nanowrimo

dude might have be mentally ill if he expects to get into a good college after posting this "book"

Yeah dont all teens do shit like this, even if to themselves (rather than lol internet) at some point? Or cat to each other about the rest of the class and categorise them and whatever? Bitchy girls sure do.

i mean i guess this could v reasonably be an enactment of actual, pathological narcissism.

HAHAHAHA this was a NaNoWriMo

― What a wonderful vocabulary word! (acoleuthic), Sunday, December 6, 2009 8:06 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he does not get what a novel is o_O

maybe its YOU who doesnt "get" what a novel "is

like it never actually occurred to this teenager who always gets what he wants that someone somewhere might read this thing TOTALLY WRONG and NOT GET that you weren't REALLY being an asshole, you were just WRITING about your world as YOU SEE IT

guys, what the fuck, i wrote a NOVEL, you should be impressed!

http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/5979/picture4ir.png

Yeah, for all his bragging, dude doesn't really seem to be very smart.

poor mandy

I love how gays and lesbians have their own category. Coz, you know, they can't be anything else.

josh tubbs seems pretty gay himself, esp when he descrbes his relationship with mandy

^^^^

^^^^^^^^^ and

this could v reasonably be an enactment of actual, pathological narcissism.

― crazy farting throwback jersey (gbx), Sunday, December 6, 2009 5:16 PM (12 seconds ago) Bookmark

you can't really tell of course, but it's as close to that as it is to "norml kidz, classifyin ur peers"

"because it is our senior year and i would like to go out with a bang"

how to get ur wish

maybe its YOU who doesnt "get" what a novel "is

― max, Sunday, December 6, 2009 8:18 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

71. Max R**D: Advanced Placement. 8. Kool. He is the president of National Honor Society. Sometimes I think he does not like me anymore, but then it gets better. He used to be fat in middle school and I think I was his only friend because he would show off his smart qualities and read really fast, but I did not believe him. But he picked me to sit in the front row when he was in the spelling bee. I knew that was going to happen because I was thinking “I am his only friend, he has to pick me.” In 8th grade he had a crush on Julie that he did not get over until the end of 10th grade. He is really smart and does a lot of stuff after school and he is mean to the stupid kids, which is really funny to see. He has a firm ground in his intelligence and often knows what he is talking about, except a lot of times he pontificates and it seems like he is just doing a Mexican hat dance around a point. However, I feel like I am on a really smart team when I am talking with him and then he is mean to a stupid person. However, maybe he has let his intelligence get to his head and thinks anyone that does not agree with him is obviously less intelligent.

maxican hat dance

well yeah, but if anything the nanowrimo thing seems like it could go either way

a) only a deeply narcissistic/mentally ill person would actually do the work involved in writing 50,000 words on their peers and have a rxn that completely misses the point of why it's not a good idea to post it on the internet.
b) dude actually thought of it as a genuine artistic enterprise, and has created a fictional narrator and w/e, and just so thoroughly misunderstands what makes even contentious writing "good" and "valuable" isn't the fact that ~it is writing~ but that it is ~good writing~. like he self-absorbedly went for something and just totally missed, and is honestly confused why everyone is just so upset. which points to a completely different but no less problematic mental state imo

would be amazing if it was a character he created and named after himself and irl hes a real swell bro

kinda comes off like a ilx sockpuppet tbh

if this is a hipster run off thing i'm going to be very disappointed

1st to bite the display name

My take on Eminem: "was interpreted and sold as a rebel by the media, but was in fact a whining adult child." Everyone bought into his bullshit. Dude you mean you weren't rich growing up? Rough rugged and raw.

― cee-oh-tee-tee, Sunday, December 6, 2009 5:18 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

obv gonna be the excuse

WRONG THREAD

or is it ;)

yah srsly thought that was more josh tubbs greatest hits

would be amazing if it was a character he created and named after himself and irl hes a real swell bro

― ice cr?m, Sunday, December 6, 2009 7:28 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i mean this would some amazing thing for a teen to actually pull off as a fictional exercise, imo, but it would be so difficult to handle skillfully that i doubt it's true

frequent use of 'chill' as an adjective makes this seem like hipster run off

Zack Wolf: Annoying. 3. UnKool. He thinks that he is so cool and different because he is unreasonably chill with the world and thinks that every other person is way too up tight and has to calm down. He is just a really gross person that dresses in clothes that have probably never been washed in his life. He just goes on hikes every day and catches fish with his teeth and thinks that everyone is an uptight city person.

This is kinda cunningly skillful if it's meta

haha

the social fixation seems like a complex of OCD stuff and some kind of deep anxiety about place and selfworth or w/e

otm. it's strange that he can rattle off stuff like "she has become anorexic and has starved herself and has worked out a lot in order to be better for her boyfriend that she makes out with a lot. I bet they will become abusive" with no apparent empathy, as if he really is just categorizing baseball cards or coins or anime characters. you get the sense that he only needs to relate to his peers on a deep enough level to taxonomize them and thereby convince himself that he has a unique, clear-headed grasp of human nature (or whatever). but he doesn't seem to have an ounce of self-awareness, or else he'd realize how obsessive & sociopathic it is to reduce social interaction to ego-stroking Who's Who fodder.

OK on second thought having actually read his "nanowrimo" attempt I take back what I said; even bitchy girls dont go into this level of weird detail.

haha yeah, that's why this is news! he is doing something that normal awful teenagers do and doing it really, really hard. aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's why we think ppl are weirdos!

dude is just some dickhead in h.s.--no need to overanalyze imo

pretty sure it is his overanalysis that marks this is "potentially pathological behavior" imo

like i am friends with ppl that have been assholes in their time, and i will cop to some awful behavior of my own, but if someone i knew and was currently friends with admitted to me that they had written a 50k word "novel" about how they hated everyone in high school, i'd either be totally blown away by how talented and daring they were as a young and precocious writer, or deeply unsettled unless they then went on to express the kind of deep remorse that takes fucking years to actually settle in

put it this way: it would not be instructive for j tubbs here to suggest to him that what is going down is the result of perfectly normal teenaged asshole behavior

lots of dickheads in h.s. have this level of info about their peers and could complete this exercise--the fact that he actually did it is kind of o_O but really not shocking

actual justice would be for this dude to go to college and realize that he's a special snowflake or whatever

*NOT a special snowflake

main thing that weirds me out about it, having moved every two or three years for most of my childhood, is just how much actual knowledge this kid has about EVERYBODY in his class. i was always the new kid, and soon to move again, so most of my peers were strangers.

In fairness in case it's still escaped anyone, the 50k word thing is Nanowrimo - he's just done this to fill his 50k words by cheating, in one sense.

also my new favorite thing since i had about four weeks of psyche is to pathologize basically everyone's behavior, including my own

know this about your physicians, ppl, they have next to zero training in actual human psychology, and many of them are happy to forget ALL of it

In fairness in case it's still escaped anyone, the 50k word thing is Nanowrimo - he's just done this to fill his 50k words by cheating, in one sense.

― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Sunday, December 6, 2009 8:22 PM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

right, which means he has asperger's

thing that's weird about it, imo, is that he's class president, and psyched about charitable doings and good schools, and clearly deeply obsessed with social standing. and yet he does this. and then he publishes it or otherwise makes it available. apparently without understanding how unusual it is and how it's gonna cause almost everyone he knows to dump him into the "cool. creepy. 0" column. perhaps even his close friends.

thinking it and even doing it aren't that crazy. it's this other level of disconnect that seems so bizarre to me.

this guy is funny. let's get him on here

would be awesome to find that it WASN'T written by him, but rather by another kid as a portrait of him (and, in passing, of the school). that would be a fucking novel.

xps but contenderizer kinda otm

like floating that (nanowrimo) as an excuse (which he appears to have done?) is the kind of point missing that ought to (for me, at least) throw up some kind of flag that this kid relates to the world in a way that is fundamentally different from his neighbor's. yes, writing 50k words is hard, and yes, writing what you know is instructional and easy, but no, telling becky whatever that she ought to be ok with the fact that you BELIEVE THOSE THINGS is not really ok, unless you are ready for everyone to decide that they dislike you intensely. own it.

I wonder what he had to say about Regina George.

...unless you are ready for everyone to decide that they dislike you intensely. own it.

― crazy farting throwback jersey (gbx), Sunday, December 6, 2009 6:29 PM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark

maybe that's it. maybe he realized that being being kiss-ass fake nice to everybody was exhausting to turn over a new leaf.

"bye! fuck you all! mwah!"

as plausible as anything

maybe he will get to host an E! series where he comes to your school and rates all your classmates

That kid is a serial killer in training.

― Pooping And Crying (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, December 7, 2009 12:27 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

Tbh, as much as were enjoying this, imagine how awesome it would be to be this kids classmate

Actually it would be pretty funny to be the nice, popular head of year kid, and then suddenly go postal on everyone and bitch them the fuck out for lols.

i hope they can all gang up and embarrass him at prom or some shit

i want to beat him up

if this had actually been witty and scathing, i'd think he was cool. but the bitch is just a smug poser.

his classmates should organize a day where they all wear t-shirts with his face on the front and their summaries printed on the back. and then put him in the wicker man.

fuck yes.

so who gets his parking space?

cntndrzr good idea!

48. Sarah Calder: Quiet. 8. Kool. Mandy, her, and I used to be super kool friends, then Mandy and she went out on their own path, then Mandy and I are on our own path and she seems to have no friends and she is really quiet and sticks her chin in her coat or shirt. It was nice to have the playgroup seniors, because we were the oldest kids in playgroup in our neighborhood, but then that ended when I was like 6 and we had a nice reunion when I was like 12 at my house. She does sports, but it is still annoying that she thinks she is better than me and Mandy because she does not talk and just shoves her chin into her coat. It would be nice to have her back and the playgroup seniors back. But now we are actual seniors, which is kool. She is very standoffish to people and just about everything that breathes and it is really weird to see her and not talk to her.

reads like lobotomized lynda barry actually. the kid has a voice i'll give him that

thing that's weird about it, imo, is that he's class president, and psyched about charitable doings and good schools, and clearly deeply obsessed with social standing. and yet he does this. and then he publishes it or otherwise makes it available. apparently without understanding how unusual it is and how it's gonna cause almost everyone he knows to dump him into the "cool. creepy. 0" column. perhaps even his close friends.

thinking it and even doing it aren't that crazy. it's this other level of disconnect that seems so bizarre to me.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^All of this. Okay, and this is what's scary to me: he apparently had people fooled enough that they actually elected him class president. Soooo, whatup Patrick Bateman the 2nd?

my HS doesn't have valedictorian speeches anymore cuz some kid went bonkers in his speech naming names of teachers he didnt like and accused some of not reporting it when kids cheated

lool

added him on facebook

roffle

I had no idea that being "scene" was a thing. I guess it's like being emo only more retarded?

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Scene-Kid

"Scene was VERY popular from 2005-2008. It has recently began to fade out so make sure you really want to do this style!"

Haha, by the time I learn about it, it is already on its last legs

Though this kind of explains a lot about my nephew's hair

Better written than Twilight books.

yeah and isnt the point of nanowrimo to just kind of toss a bunch of crap off and not edit

also to write fiction

he clearly chose to ignore that particular criterium and i for one am glad he did

damn this is kind of fascinating

the fact that this is the most famous work ever produced by nanowrimo should prove how fucking retarded it is

that this will be the most famous book published in 2009 should prove how shoot me now

yall are almost worse than him imo

oh, really i was just saying that to whiney

96. Thomas Eastman: Special Education. 2. UnCool. He always says hi to me, but I think he is kind of annoying and I do not usually want to talk to him because it would serve no purpose for me to talk at him. Sometimes it is just a “ hey Josh” and I say hi and I keep walking, but other times he tries to show off what he does like arts and crafts like a little kid that wants to show off to the older kids that have no reason to look at the accomplishments of the little children. He walks around goofy and just sits by himself all lonesome because nobody wants to socialize with him.

160. Jake Kaplan: Tool. 0. Cool. He’s fat, I always wonder why these fat people get popular instead of loser-ish. I don’t think he’s as great as people seem to think he is, because he needs to lose weight, he will have to die at some point, and it will probably be before a bunch of the other seniors because his is much larger than he rest of us. His fatness does not seem to have any effect on him though because he is still a big lunking tool that lunks around and tries to lunks around as much as possible to make sex jokes about his friends and with his friends.

keep on keepin it positive whiney

we obviously need to have a poll where we decisively determine which of his classmates is the most uncool.

im sorry, i am not going to feel sorry for jake kaplan

7. Dark, promiscuous five year olds
????

nomi illustrating why fucker needs to get friendly with the underside of a bus real soon

either that or hey great fiction dude

Dark, promiscuous five year olds

assume that's his phrase for goth clique

yeah can someone post the writeup of someone in that category?

xxp

xp - but he has a separate category that includes goths?

i think i see this kid as pretty nonthreatening and do not have violent fantasies about him because i assume he is just some gay, repressed, overachieving kid who does not have a lot of social clout

does not excuse some of his less palatable opinions on his classmates, and definitely doesn't excuse his publishing them (imo the only real beef i have with the kid), but like, you hope he gets run over by a bus? really?

20. Rob Beaulieu: Punk/ Dark, promiscuous five-year-old. 1. Cool. He does night school and I think he works during the day. It seems like he is wasting his life away. At the coffeehouses he would take up the whole show with his stupid songs and everyone would begin to hate him so much. I called it the “Rob Beaulieu” show because he did SO MANY THINGS. They were always stupid dark songs about how sad in love he is. He also does not have a good voice either, so it got really annoying to hear this combo of pre-Jo Bros and All American Rejects take the stage from everyone who had decent things to do.

first DP5YO - kid sounds like a emoh, so i assume the DP5YO are like a specific clique.

the promiscuous 5 year olds ones are the very best ones

seems like he kinda just categorized people in weird nebulous ways...see category "grey"

he really isn't that good a writer.

dude

doi

roxy:

no! of course i do not hope he gets run over by a bus really. nor do i want anyone to put him in the wicker man which i said earlier. the thing about snubbing the special needs kid bummed me out so i got all "internet hard man" and "flamed" him which is a thing.

i'm definitely thinking this is some sort of fictional thing which would make him a really good writer, i think

the fact that he wrote something about all these kids and came up with categories and ratings for them is interesting; what he wrote about most of them is kinda boring to read, actually.

more than kinda boring.

i mean its 350 kids, though. imo if you get like the 10 best its completely hilarious. kid needs the readers digest treatment

yeah, but if it were me and i wanted to make it more readable - i'd do shorter entries for the ones i didn't have anything particularly interesting to say about. Like: 'barely know, wears green shoes' or 'eats fritos in a dumb way' - something to vary the pacing ... or something.

yeah i dont know if he cared if it was readable. i think he just wrote it to see if he could write 50,000 words, like 85% of ppl who do nanowrimo iirc

if the backstory is bs and this is some kid's entirely fictional nanowrimo project (including the backstory), then A+ fictional art writing guy

including the epic boring of it

yeah - but it isn't particularly good writing - and the fact that National Novel Writing Month prizes quantity over quality is my main beef with it. My secondary beef involves the stupid ping pong table the dude that started it left in my parking space in the garage after he moved out. Chris Baty, if you ever google yourself, your stupid ping pong table is still in the mf-ing garage, and I was annoyed by it then, and I'm still annoyed.

yeah, that's my beef with nanowrimo, too. i read the dude's book like every other sentence is "oh don't kid yourself -- you'll be writing COMPLETE CRAP!! do NOT try to NOT write crap!!" i left nanowrimo feeling like i had participated in a crapping contest and lost because i did not want to crap for crapping's sake

should be an "and" in there somewhere, sorry

Otoh, Chris Baty did not complain about people doing laundry at all hours of the day when he lived under the laundry room.

14. Drew Balanoff: Living Life. 7. Kool. He was in Mr. Timberlane. I BEAT HIM!! He tried to catch a bunch of marshmallows in his mouth, but he only caught about half of them and did not do a very good job. They wanted to cut him off because he was taking so long and catching so few marshmallows. I still think he is a kool kid though. He wears a bandana and has really long and fuzzy hair. I actually don’t think that he likes to clean it either. I also think that he wants to get dreads and have as many bugs in his hair as Bob Marley did when he had them. I wish him luck in his journey though. However, I feel like he wouldn’t hold back in making fun of me with his friends, but would still be kool with me while he was in my presence.

needs more like that one

yeah, that one's decent.

This kid sounds kool to me

246. Alex Pelechowicz: Dark, promiscuous five year old. 2. UnKool. He is going with Brianna Constentino—for now. He is a big fat lazy kind of kid that just wants to have sex every second of his life and laugh at ever other person on the planet that is not like him. He thinks that he is so cool because he is so different and experienced, much more than every other person on the planet.

someone should rate everyone on ilx

300.Randall Staniewicz: Druggie/ Bwitch. 0. Cool. She thinks she is the poop because she does a bunch of drugs and is really experienced in things that very few people want to be experienced in. She thinks that everyone is either a scaredy cat or an immature stupid person, when in reality she is just trying to legitimize her use of illegal substances and being a bwitch. For some reason she does not think that she should be nice to any other person than to her equally bwitchy friends and equally everything that is just like her. She thinks that she is so different and ever so sophisticated and much more of those two things than everyone else. She is just exactly the same as her two stupid friends that are going to die from drug over dose or from being raped.

what are gray kids?

Why is a girl named Randall?

our narrator is more along the lines of yr anti-hero

not my anti-hero

he explains the gray girls at one point - they wear a lot of pale makeup powder (i dunno, is there a word for that?) and thus look grayish

not my anti-hero neither. but certainly not yr knight in shining armor type...

was jokin

maybe we all should just rate Whiney.

i'd say whiney is equivalent to infinity on the 0 – 10 scale

LOL!

someone should rate everyone on ilx

or match ILXors to people on tubbslist

1. BIG HOOS aka the steendriver: Autogoon. 8. Kool. BIG HOOS is a nice, mellow dude who can tell you all about Buddhism and Southern rap if you ask nice. There's one sad senior who graduated and still hangs around the school who says HOOS's gf is too hot for him, but that guy is generally sad and a dick. HOOS has a tendency to use internet adjectives in real life but he will probably do awesome if he keeps the 'iirc'-ing to a minimum

171. some dude: Sporty. 7. Cool. He uses those dad kind of jokes because he is uncomfortable in a situation and has to make up for the awkwardness in the conversation with jokes and talking points like that.

276. Whiney G. Weingarten: "Different" 8, 7 without cheese. Kool. Whiney is a funny bro & source of much humor on ilx, both intentional and not. hes a pretty chill dude when hes not overly neurotic & self flagellating. if you have a girlfriend, dont let him near her around large bodies of water.

died @ 7 w/o cheese

334. Big Jim Swells: Band Geek. 7. Kool. He does yo-yo and is a rather strange person. He is really hard to figure out because I think he is hiding a lot in his mind and his life.

Next, he's going to write a 3cd box set, one song per.

http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/6042/burnbookch6.png

Allow me to express my shock at an Aspie being socially inept and doing well in a bad high school.

hahaha

maybe he will get to host an E! series where he comes to your school and rates all your classmates

― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Monday, 7 December 2009 02:35 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^would watch

Misread "rates" for a second there.

I am a straight-A student and have never ever gotten a single detention or similar punishment in my life. I am proud of this and plan to continue it by not ever going to jail.

good ambition in life there joshy

How can somebody that bad at English be a straight A student?

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/video/21868321/index.html

lol this is just a kid doing a stupid thing that others can get butthurt about. we've all been there, although maybe not on such a giant scale or involving the internet.

also all 17 year olds suck at writing

dude really likes stickers. wonder if he finished his panini premiership book or if he has a swapsie for bobby zamora i can grap

grap? gah, need to stop reading this, getting stupider by teh sentence

roxy talkin sense itt

also this kid is not such a bad writer imo

died @ 7 w/o cheese

― afa the i can c (roxymuzak), Monday, December 7, 2009 4:30 AM (3 hours ago)

i think a lot of people are taking his deliberately silly/stupid sentences at face value and missing the self-deprecating humor in them entirely (note: only probably 1/2 of his stupid sentences fit this description imo) and its kinda...condescending

the kid writes like 70% of us write on here

and he was probably taking this as seriously as that 70% take ilx

yes he is a weird funny little kid who probably does not have great socializing skills but is smart enough to be funny but not smart enough to like self-edit so

and not smart enough to know that publishing a comprehensive burn book on the internet is you know a terrible idea

haw

also he is not particularly intelligent in his dealings with race and sexuality

not particularly, no. haw. i dont know how to take that stuff from him, or others of his generation who say racist/sexist things in that style

uh haven't you been reading ilx lately????

eh he sounds less like vice mag 'hilarious bigotry' and more like fairly genuine lack of understanding about 'how to deal with people who are different'

when he finally realises he is a homosexual that may change a bit xpost

and he was probably taking this as seriously as that 70% take ilx

― afa the i can c (roxymuzak), Monday, December 7, 2009 12:34 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Was gonna say, RIP Ask Chaki board right

was wondering who was gonna be the ones to captain save a tubbs - smh @ u max n roxy

might write 50k words on it

Kid is drug-avoiding virgin with not many friends, rates people by whether they put up with his jokes, is bitter about all the cool kids and cliques but still snarks abt the not-cool kids w/o talking to them, not really that odd so far (you might even imagine that it sounds kind of familiar to uh at least some ILXors, maybe even the one posting this overlong sentence)

but the part where this fits together with him apparently being voted top in the grand high school popularity contest of Mr Timberlane 2009 is really confusing my attempts to stereotype him

(the part where he thinks that this is a "novel" seemed a bit pathological at first but I guess it's not too hard to think of kid just being "lol too lazy to do this right and have good enough grades to get away with anything", maybe with a little "whoa me, postmodernist extraordinaire")

yeah its not that weird to spend all yr time stickering w/mandy and POSTING 50K WORD BURN BOOKS TO THE INTERNET there were like 10 kids like that @ my hs

but the part where this fits together with him apparently being voted top in the grand high school popularity contest of Mr Timberlane 2009 is really confusing my attempts to stereotype him

― brett favre vs bernard fevre, fite (a passing spacecadet), Monday, December 7, 2009 5:07 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

it's weird! but the president of my HS wasn't all that popular prior to his election campaign, so who knows.

i'm kinda inclined to stereotype him as a generally cheerful but creepy-uptight bot who is not-so-secretly this terrified little nerd on the inside. probably attractive enough to resist being sidelined due to overenthusiastic stickering, and so concerned with social standing that he's become pretty good at saying the right things to the right people.

hes co-class pres (not mr timberlane duh) - likely a position filled by unkools @ timberlane high

I reckon he's just pitching his "high school memoir/drama" to cable channel

hes probably that token funny nerd kid who is not actually 'popular' but is funny enuf that girls tolerate him, that is exactly the kind of dude who is voted 'mr. timberlane' and class president and so forth

was wondering who was gonna be the ones to captain save a tubbs - smh @ u max n roxy

― ice cr?m, Monday, December 7, 2009 8:05 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

well between saying the kid is stupid and vaguely funny vs. he is a future serial killer who should be run over by a bus im going w/ the former

o i was unaware those were our choices, unkool

denying this kid is funny is like denying global warming imo

i have uncovered a 50k word document proving definitively that his reported sense of humor is a hoax

i rate u 3

thats funny cause i rate myself Infinity. KOOL.

hes co-class pres (not mr timberlane duh)

Isn't he both?

Also, 227 messages and not a single .xls joke?

I haven't quite figured out "dark, promiscuous five-year-olds" either, but I think "promiscuous" is a crucial part of it. Josh the Virgin has opinions on people who have had sex.

In addition to being elected class president, Tubbs also was chosen as Mr. Timberlane this fall.

o jeez

Tubbs Timberlane

We are just one unit and if one person dates one of us, it is basically like they are dating both of us.

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/fightclub_450x300.jpg

A couple other thoughts:

1. I'd be less annoyed at his doing this for NaNoWriMo if he actually used all 50,000 words on the slam-book part of it instead of supplementing it with poems and college-application essays that he'd already written.

2. I kind of understand the impulse behind this. In 4th grade, I had a notebook with entries for everyone in my classroom, though it usually just said, "Sits next to me, funny" and then where the person lived and his/her parents' names, if I knew them. And then in high school, I spent a LOT of time gossiping about other people at my school, to the extent that I think it was the basis for a couple of my friendships. But this does take things to an extreme level, and I was never as contemptuous or blithely unsympathetic as he seems to be in the vast majority of the entries.

hes probably that token funny nerd kid who is not actually 'popular' but is funny enuf that girls tolerate him, that is exactly the kind of dude who is voted 'mr. timberlane' and class president and so forth

― max, Monday, December 7, 2009 7:35 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

and is also maybe a lot weirder than ppl thought he was

I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night
The night goes into

Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
you made me so happy, oh Mandy

I had a notebook with entries for everyone in my classroom, though it usually just said, "Sits next to me, funny" and then where the person lived and his/her parents' names, if I knew them.

― Nuyorican oatmeal (jaymc), Monday, 7 December 2009 14:08 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Pre-spreadsheet era schooling :)

uh haven't you been reading ilx lately????

― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Monday, December 7, 2009 7:45 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

ahahahahaha

I kind of understand the impulse behind this.

:)

In 4th grade, I had a notebook with entries for everyone in my classroom, though it usually just said, "Sits next to me, funny"

O_o

and then where the person lived and his/her parents' names

O_O

dude is obv emotionally stunted as evidinced by be being a 17-year old bragging about having all 1,000 Pokemon cards.

some people like keeping records of things. shocker

and then where the person lived and his/her parents' names

O_O

― manuel EGOT-sching (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, December 7, 2009 9:32 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This wouldn't have been all that shocking way back when jaymc went to elementary school.

to be honest the kid should get an honourary degree or whatever from his school for writing probably the only nanowrimo entry in his school that anyone would have bothered to read?

that assumes moe than one kid write a nanowrimo at his hs

i'll agree that dude is in no way exceptional for having written this thing about his classmates. the only amazing thing about this is how hard the dude clowned himself right into the national media.

writing probably the only nanowrimo entry in his school on earth that anyone would have bothered to read?

i'm waiting for 4chan to weigh in on this

i'm figuring dude is getting an accelerated education on being a socialized human right about now, too bad for him that he already wrote his college admission essay.

When I was in highschool I would write dirty insult poems about people in my class. One of the targets tackled me in gym class and she was banned from prom (but a friend wrote an even funnier rap song about her boyfriend beating her up, but people liked him more so they kept his identity secret). So, I guess I sympathize a little. The degree of thoroughness in this case suggests a 4-day amphetamine binge... this kid is heading over the edge.

What is most interesting is that he doesn't swear ("bwitch" certainly has the 'w' to avoid using the word proper). That says something about the overall interest of his writing.

but a friend wrote an even funnier rap song about her boyfriend beating her up

;_; !!

i had a friend that went through my grd 10 yearbook and vandalized the pics of everyone she had a beef with (and even a few clubs & teachers). writing "bitch" and "slut" and "asshole" under roughly 1/4 of the school. she wrote cool things about the people she liked - but there was far fewer of them.
a few friends got quite the shock seeing her work, and i sort of had to hide the thing after a bit.

writing "bitch" and "slut" and "asshole" under roughly 1/4 of the school.

percentage a bit low??

it's as if you went to my high school!

the only amazing thing about this is how hard the dude clowned himself right into the national media.

― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Monday, December 7, 2009 9:43 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fwiw, the Eagle Tribune and Fark aren't national media tbh

i guess you are right whiney though i fully expect an NPR segment or NYT lifestyle article about this incident by midweek, this type of shit is their catnip tbh

Or just a big fat 'burn books' feature. FWIW getting some patsy to hold forth on one's classmates in writing, then distributing the hilarious results to c. 400 potentially injured parties happens at any reasonably bitchy/competitive junior high school.

ts: this kid vs. blair hornstein

starting a competition now to see who can friend the most kids out of those 350 in the school

I think the natl news is prolly gonna avoid this because basically it would be tantamout to "let's forever ruin the life of an honor student whose only crime is being socially retarded"

Yeah the natl news really has an aversion to making light of the socially retarded

I find it weird that he'd even have the capability of rating every single member of his high school class. there are plenty of people in my senior class who I never met, and it was about the same size.

Yeah, that's the thing I find really odd about this. I was also in a class about that size, and there was a pretty good percentage of people I either didn't know or didn't know well enough to have any sort of opinion on.

My senior class was about 170 people and I only met some of them literally on the night of our graduation ceremony and subsequent party. "Oh hi...yeah, we're done, ain't it great?"

I think the natl news is prolly gonna avoid this because basically it would be tantamout to "let's forever ruin the life of an honor student whose only crime is being socially retarded"

i don't think his life would be ruined by this.

i can totally see colleges having a freezeout on a kid who is on national news for being a dickhead

I mean, you think Bubble Boy dad heene is gonna have the easiest time getting a normal job now?

i dunno, isn't this easily another in a neverending series of trend pieces about how the internet has changed the social landscape?

don't know about bubble boy dad (tbh i don't remember him until you mentioned it again just now) but this is like so far down in the scale of omgness in comparison?? (fucking with the police vs bitching about people in your school)

Yeah,

a pretty good percentage of people I either didn't know or didn't know well enough to have any sort of opinion on.

.. but if you were going to do this (and I assume there was some forethought), the guy would start with a list of everyone, then make it his biz to go round and get something on everyone.

don't know about bubble boy dad (tbh i don't remember him until you mentioned it again just now)

How fickle is fame.

http://www.wmur.com/news/21868067/detail.html

"It's not true, so why let it bother you?" said senior Jesse LoCascio. "People are going to talk about you no matter what. It's high school."

I find it weird that he'd even have the capability of rating every single member of his high school class. there are plenty of people in my senior class who I never met, and it was about the same size.

― iatee, Sunday, December 6, 2009 7:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

obvs made most of it up for completest purposes gray girl kinda nice actually laughs at what i say thinks shes all that cause she has sex tho - not that hard

also the first page of that whole thing was saying now a lot of it is untrue and/or exaggarated for effect?

even if it's not true, or exaggerated for effect, it is still 100% creepy (but still funny).

it's 100% creepy for people who creeps out 100% easily i suppose

nah

i mean, if that was 100% creepy you have to invent some special new concept of super infinity for say this who would u fuk?
?

what its jus some stickerin w/mandy chill

this is more like the kid who is afraid of the color blue

imo the problem here is a ridiculous superiority complex and a good deal of repression

i was otherwise very normal before seniors playgroup

My high school class had about 90 people, and while I did know all of them by face, I could've written this sort of analysis about maybe 50 of them. (Though my analysis would've been much friendlier, I didn't really have any beef with any of my high school mates.) How the hell can anyone even remember this much stuff about 350 people? Was he compiling notes on his mates all through high school in order to drop the motherload before graduating?

tuomas i guess remember stuff about 350 people would be difficult for someone who knows fewer than 350 people.

I guess I'm just bad at remembering details. A while ago I realized I can't even remember my second girlfriend's name.

Pippi Longstocking

No, I think it began with an E.

Or maybe O?

Orgasm Longstocking

No, I think it began with an E.

So much raver love does.

Hahaha! I actually got to know my first girlfriend when a common friend of us handcuffed us together at a party and then disappeared with the key.

i could probably come up with something to say about everyone in my highschool senior class of about 90 ppl but (a) i never had as many judgements about my classmates as this kid and (b) i would never be so focused to actually compile them, let alone publish the whole thing

imo the problem here is a ridiculous superiority complex and a good deal of repression

― 102. LJ: British. 5. (acoleuthic), Monday, December 7, 2009 9:08 AM (5 minutes ago)

Even as a junior I was cordially indifferent to most of the people in my high school class. I cannot imagine caring enough to do this not to mention being that focused on the project.

guy will either become serial killer or world-class taxonomist

i'm betting it was mandy who leaked this to the public. that bwitch.

http://stevedutton-online.com/test/bewitched.jpg

couldve been sarah calder, walking around w/her chin in her shirt

trying to come up with a Josh Tubbs & Captain Easy joke here but nothing's flowing/it's too obscure anyway.

I think I could have done 50k about my year at school at that age. There were about 160 people. Although 15k alone would be about our ridiculous ott ever changing nickname system that involves about half the year. I could at least tell you something or have an opinion on all of them, even if some would be kind of vague or just 1 sentence. Rumours and anacdotes travelled around about almost everyone in my year and classes were always mixed up so I think I had classes with at least 4/5 of them at one point. What Tubbs did is double that tho.

i was sullen and misanthropic as a senior in high school, i think there were about 400 - 500 other students in my senior class - and there was no way i could imagine having the desire to differentiate that many people from one another.

Though when I was in 6th grade, me and a friend were bored watching "The Shaggy Dog" as some "reward" for good behavior or something, and we invented a fake soap opera with characters based on the kids in our class. But it was one of those 80s nighttime soap operas where people get in plane crashes and then magically live, or go to exotic islands and get plastic surgery and it's an eventual cliffhanger when everyone finds out who they are.

ysi?

i don't think we really wrote anything down except for the character names, though we might have drawn some pictures of them.

270. Nikki Rothwell: Nice/ Fake Girl/ Sporty. 8. Cool. She was one of the first people to come across the fact that I am writing a novel. She worked her way through her inhibitions to come out and ask me why I was writing down people. I had to tell her what I was doing, but left it at that because I could get killed if people found out about this because a lot of it may not be the truest of thinks.

if someone in my class had written something like this my entry would have included a popular but entirely false rumor that i had a threesome with two girls on school premises. if it had been published i would have been embarrassed x10000 more.

daaamn u da man elmo *fist bump*

i actually received an joke "award" in my singing group for the rumored acheivement. i did not get the joke until much later. :\

i think you guys aren't considering the possibility of this whole thing being the means to an end which was to write a nanowrimo thing?

i mean, this whole thing becomes actually not that irrational when you view it from that perspective?????

i mean, apart from the fact that participating in nanowrimo is obv something pretty irrational to start with since it's national waste of human resources month.

Okay, sarahel, but your whole steez is way more imaginitive than what this dude did. There's something weirdly affectless about his whole thing. Like I can imagine him writing a pretty much identical rundown of his Pokemon cards:

261. Psyduck: Tool 2. Cool. He is so fake, and I don't understand how overweight, neurotic ducks like him are so popular. He can block a Charizard attack, though, so I guess he's not too much of a tool.

Derek - I agree - his thing is pretty dull as a whole, though there are some gems, that are only gem-like in a kinda abject way.

I can't look it up now but there was one entry where he gave the girl in question a "higher" ranking and mentioned something about "this is one of the few instances where someone I judged based on their picture got a high ranking".

gem-like in a kinda abject way

posts that effortlessly sum up ilx

I mean, is anyone here judging its quality as a literary effort as opposed to as an artifact - kinda in the best beloved tuppence vein?

Well I think we all agree that if it was some other kid who wrote it to frame the class president and inhabit his character he deserves a nobel prize

peace prize, chemistry what

it just seems like something I could see some clever post-modern writer doing for some hip magazine - but it would be shorter and more focused on jokes and non-sequitirs and more stylized, though perhaps in that same affectless way Deric mentioned. And I can't decide how self-aware/self-conscious this is.

I'm not judging it as a literary effort. It's just weird and obsessional, but lol high school.

My class was roughly 450. A quarter of those came from my elementary school; the rest were classmates of mine starting in 7th grade. At least half of us were the children of people who'd grown up in the town (including me) so everyone was at least acquainted with each other by senior year. It wouldn't be beyond the memory bank of any motivated kid who was there to put a huge slambook together, or that obsessive - your world in HS is pretty small in the midwest, and the narcissism of small differences be fascinatin' before you have a name for this game.

so can we see yr slambook them

xp - mine was similar - though I don't think anyone knew even half of the other students. Where you went to high school, suzy, was everyone native English speakers, though?

was some talk about this yesterday. if it's fake (or largely invented, or not quite what it claims to be, or WE), then it's much more interesting than if it's just some weirdo's notes on u. hard to tell at this point & from this distance.

but still kinda super dull and rambly, tho with good bits

maybe if i'd done this i'd be able to remember the high school classmates that add me on fbook

see, i don't know how much more interesting it is, really. It seems like there's this recent (or not that recent, really, I'm not sure) trend of writing things, making art, etc. that are meant to be viewed as artifacts or curiosities of ambiguous provenance, that the wtf-ness or incomprehensibility of their origins or the author's motives are the largest part of their appeal, as opposed to the work itself.

Yeah, y'know, I'm judgin' from the perspective of someone who went to 13 different schools from K-12, and who only spent two years at the high school he graduated from. Maybe it isn't so weird to have at least some passing knowledge of people who you've grown up with and seen around every day for most of your life. The rest is def. weird, though.

from the perspective of someone who lived in the same town all 17 years of growing up where there was only one junior high and only one high school, the fact that this dude finds something to say about 350 kids is kinda remarkable.

this screed is probably better than the other option he was likely considering (assault rifle in a packed auditorium)

Oooh, many xposts. I'm sure I could've done at least 300 but I was never stupid enough to put anything derogatory about my classmates in writing, joshea. However, I was paid pretty good cashmoney to 'deconstruct' various campus types on caricature posters to advertise my college's coffee house. Luckily, most of the people depicted were attention-whorish enough to weather being chosen, or were friends of mine who were in on the satire. The one spoilt rich kid who did complain lightened up after being told to weigh his publicity rather than read it.

sarahel - yes, I'd say 95 per cent of us were native English speakers. Most of the five per cent were refugees: Vietnamese, Russian Jews, Iranians, Turks arrived one by one so they integrated; my town has a reputation for being a good place for that. We didn't have a lot of Spanish speakers back then, and enrollment used to be closed to the town's residents. Also my l'il sis was in a completely different academic/social set to me so if I needed a character reference for an obscure (to me) person, she most likely knew that person.

"or go to exotic islands and get plastic surgery and it's an eventual cliffhanger when everyone finds out who they are."

If this is how Lost ends I'm swearing off serial TV forever.

Is this thread over 50,000 characters yet?

i think one of the two boys that played D&D and drew highly-detailed Tolkien-inspired battle scenes was the evil mad scientist/scheming plastic surgeon

She worked her way through her inhibitions to come out and ask me why I was writing down people

Lol whut? He makes it sound like it was some massive inner struggle for her, when it was prob more like "hey assface, why are you spying on everyone and taking notes?!"

I'm impressed.

Okay, sarahel, but your whole steez is way more imaginitive than what this dude did. There's something weirdly affectless about his whole thing. Like I can imagine him writing a pretty much identical rundown of his Pokemon cards:

261. Psyduck: Tool 2. Cool. He is so fake, and I don't understand how overweight, neurotic ducks like him are so popular. He can block a Charizard attack, though, so I guess he's not too much of a tool.

― Pooping And Crying (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, December 7, 2009 12:49 PM (6 hours ago)

this is sort of...the point?

this screed is probably better than the other option he was likely considering (assault rifle in a packed auditorium)

It's NaNoWriMo, the other option was probably a fantasy novel about a virginal young druid boy who rescues an elvish princess from the clutches of wraiths.

Sounds like a précis of the impending sequel.

way upthread but uh

uh haven't you been reading ilx lately????

― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Monday, December 7, 2009 7:45 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes, and i dont know how to take that shit either

?

I guess this dude never saw Mean Girls.

wow, this is kind of blowing my mind and bumming me out hard.

That post could go on so many threads..

Jason St. Jean: Dark promiscuous five year old. 1. UnKool. He used to be in my 8th grade cooking class. Now he is one of those icky five year old kind of people that has a different girl friend every other week. He is one of those people that will have somebody on their lap at one point, then I take a bite of food, then someone else is on his lap making out with him or doing dirty things. He thinks that he is really kool because he is so different and wants to make people think that he is a really weird person, but he is just trying too hard.

Scott Velleca: Special Education/ Gray. 0. UnKool. He is such a wannabe gangstah and gray person because he has nothing else to do with his life and that was the easiest thing to turn to. He was only able to become gray after following Justin Sweeney into his adventures into the gray forest.

Now he is one of those icky five year old kind of people that has a different girl friend every other week. He is one of those people that will have somebody on their lap at one point, then I take a bite of food, then someone else is on his lap making out with him or doing dirty things.

So "five year old" = "someone who is sexually active"? Wtf?!

My guess is that the Dark, Promiscuous 5-year-olds are probably Gummi Goths, with the "5-year-old" aspect referring to that Hot Topic kinda fashion-sense that mixes black, lacy, traditional goth wear with say, Spongebob Squarepants socks.

It's NaNoWriMo, the other option was probably a fantasy novel about a virginal young druid boy who rescues an elvish princess from the clutches of wraiths.

― they aren't werewolves until they hit werewolf puberty (reddening), Tuesday, December 8, 2009 12:26 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(seriously, can someone please tell what the fuck is up with this shit)