Nose Pegs at the Ready: UK General Election Thread 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z6dxQVhE8o

Sorry to be dull on what will hopefully blossom into a rollicking thread of snark and existential despair, but I moved last year and I forgot to fill in the voter registration form until two months after I was meant to and after the new lists were apparently compiled. Have I done myself out of a vote? It'd be a shame with such lovely options to choose from.

i dunno you might have a booming constituent

oh wait you live in oxford n/m

srsly tho wai are all the papers and radios saying "the campaign starts here" on 4 january? because politicians are zinging each other? bfd. there's still another 2-3 months before we can break out the

http://i38.tinypic.com/fmul9t.jpg

gifs.

I am almost certain I won't be voting Brown in the '10.

Noodle Hague more like.

surely as a good Hull lad you'll be giving Prescott a boost

let me just get this out of the way

good luck uk

Prezza is busy on Twitter at the moment, focussing pre-election strategy mainly on ripping the piss out of Piers Morgan

Okay so another 6 months of beating myself up over this before an hilarious hung parliament and a further year of Sports Politics at its brutal best?

also lol max

felt a bit insincere tbh

when i said it to them, it was in hope; reckon there's more than an element of gallows humour in the backatcha

question to the house: what could the most interesting upshot of this election be?

Brutal rioting for months on end that brings our current Parliamentary system to a deserved close.

Nah, just kidding.

Some cunt from Eton having to pretend to not be Patrician scum for 3 months.

down for that

XPOST

if david cameron revealed himself to be the master off of dr who, i guess.

if kevin shields did labour's election ditty.

if Lib Dems somehow wound up holding the balance of power. not sure if this counts as comedy or tragedy or both one after the other.

NO. WAIT. I KNOW.

If Jeremy Vine dresses up as Fred West for an hilarious election night swingometer presentation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7JX8D1Kb88

I will never get tired of re-posting that.

So far amused by Cameron and caterwauling baby, Cameron's reappearing yo-yo dieter's dewlap. Little else about Cameron amuses me.

srsly tho wai are all the papers and radios saying "the campaign starts here" on 4 january?

Cameron billboards have started springing up around the place, so I guess at least his campaign has started.

ah. i should leave the house once in a while i guess.

also newspaper and radio journalists are the biggest Sports Politics fans going.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e217/hebiyaro/VoteSaxon.jpg

Cameron billboards rather than Conservative Party billboards? Would make sense, but...

Bit I'm least looking forward to = endless stream of party hacks from both sides trying to make out that their plans for cutting public spending aren't essentially the same, and everyone ignoring the elephant in the room ie why that deficit became necessary in the first place.

they do feel more like Cameron ads, just his big mug and a quote

In the same way that 97 played up Blair and down Labour. Took them most of 10 years to work out how to play this game but they're up to speed now.

Nah 97 played up New Labour and played down Labour, but there were still other prominent faces in there with Blair. Cameron dominates almost everything media-wise - only Ken Clarke and George Osborne have any real profile.

what about eric pickles the singstar fiend

Something wrong with his face, here:

http://timesonline.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451586c69e2012876a4c2d0970c-400wi

As opposed to the usual 'something wrong'.

no tie.

Double chin inexpertly airbrushed out.

New Labour was obviously being pushed but srsly who represented it other than Blair? A few grinning back-up singers doesn't really say "hi we are new crew in town" and as far as I recall the lol personalities didn't emerge until after the election was won. I guess they wheeled on the odd comedy proletarian like Prescott but that was purely to keep us simple-minded working class voters onside.

I feel like the PPBs had been getting more Presidential since at least mid-period Kinnock so I can't entirely blame Blair but Cameron 2010 is really just the latest counterstrike in the call and response game of Personality Politics that Nu/Labour have been happy to play since the 90s.

In the same way that the 97 campaign pinned the focus onto issues of competency/honesty rather than policy, and those issues are now fucking up a zero-policy Labour party (NB policy wonks/on-message ILXors, for "zero-policy" read "barely any discernible twatting difference between Labour and Tory policy", I know they have policies, but they're scumshit, okays?), the 97 campaign took Personality to its heart and now these daft twats are saddled with G. Brown vs. a shiny Blair 2.0

When your SIL is deputy ed of Vogue you'd think good airbrushing would be a phonecall away.

*Shirt doesn't fit
*Dodgy airbrushing
*Disturbing lack of Adam's apple DOES HE HAVE MOOBS y/n
*Bizarre, dirt/5pm shadow across top lip
*"Subliminal" pilfering of NHS colourways/identity

*Not quite looking out at the viewer, is he/shifty eyes

A good slogan would have been "This Is It"...

*No ears

That is odd, it's as if he's midway through being morphed with James McAvoy or someone a touch better-looking. Maybe it's the other way round and they've hired a model with just enough features to suggest Cameron?

Kinda looks like me on the back of a spoon.

oh man if nick clegg really does become kingmaker
http://991.com/newgallery/Kingmaker-Ten-Years-Asleep-319210.jpg
then i really will hope for *puts on shades* ten years asleep

it wouldn't happen in another world

cameron does just look like a fascist

wonder why that is

http://cached.imagescaler.hbpl.co.uk/resize/scaleToFit/427/285/?sURL=http://offlinehbpl.hbpl.co.uk/News/OKM/08528A1A-97E2-E41B-A5F7A0D32D7165F6.JPG

http://www.marketingmagazine.co.uk/news/976128/Labour-bloggers-release-spoof-version-touched-up-Tory-ad/

Needs Hitler moustache.

or demonic eyes yeah?

Has already.

yeah the eyes are those of an evil baby

on rollerskates.

http://blogs.thisismoney.co.uk/.a/6a00d8341c565553ef012876b37d94970c-pi

good luck ordnance survey

rubbish hitler tache

groucho

"Good Moaning!"

http://splinteredsunrise.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/herbert_kornfeld.jpg

I love the "odour lines" above the jacket that imply he smells. Weirdly enough the 'tache suits him.

Some cunt from Eton having to pretend to not be Patrician scum for 3 months.

― I'm into SB (Noodle Vague), Monday, January 4, 2010 2:57 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ that Cameron poster reminds me a bit of this:

http://www.aolcdn.com/photos-music/rage-against-machine-v2-320-061507.jpg

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/mar/21/treasury-vince-cable-hung-parliament

He didn't say to me: 'Yes, minister, but you can't do that'."
http://blacksheepsoftware.com.au/bradley/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/char_sirhumphrey.gif
(Jim Hacker as PM more likely than a hung Parliament imo)

Was there ever a time when the party The Sun didn't back, didn't win?

Cable, whose credibility has grown throughout the economic crisis, made clear that, if he was to be offered the chancellorship in a hung parliament, he would jump at the chance.

so it turns out the real story is that cable asked for a meeting with treasury officials, they agreed "to be polite", had a brief 20 min chat, and then he goes off to the papers acting like they gave him the keys to no 11. mr credibility.

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/benedictbrogan/100030767/has-saint-vince-oversold-himself/

chancellor's debate on 4 tomorrow. will be watching if the stream works outside the UK.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/01/21/Osborne2460x276.jpg

He's ready

Torrenting this and it's going straight up on piratebay.org

Cable is doing well on this safe in the knowledge that no one can be arsed to attack him.

Darling is somehow managing to duck the limelight, no idea how.

Osborne has laid himself open to one or two massive zings and is looking ridiculous.

From the twitter chat thing on the website:

Gotcha I knew I'd heard the name RT @eliotjordan: @frasereC4 Justin Bieber is the finance spokesperson for UKIP

Most significant bit of that debate was right at the end, when Cable let slip that he thought the election of a Tory government would represent "a change for the worse". Is that official LibDem policy in the event of a hung Parliament, Vince?

Darling wasn't particularly impressive, especially when talking about banking regulation when he was appalling, but did okay by virtue of not being George Osborne.

http://poldraw.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/labour-pledge-card3.jpg

May the 6th apparently.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8603591.stm

Sky: "The Queen has arrived at Buckingham Palace in a helicopter."

"Our cameras have been rolling all the time - I'm told that if we turn the sound right up, we can hear Her Majesty's arrival and the solemn punching up."

Brown has set the courage bar so low that I'm starting to admire him a little for not clinging on until June

He's probably got a holiday booked in the off season.

Going to the World Cup to support England

A good day for Sky+ and Guinness in cans.

Okay, looking forward to Labour making the positive case of what they intend to achieve in the next 5 years that will bring lost sheep like me back to the fold.

remember why you left the fold?

Okay, looking forward to Labour making the positive case of what they intend to achieve in the next 5 years that will bring lost sheep like me back to the fold.

― Top Geir (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 6 April 2010 11:33 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

Speaking outside Number 10 Downing Street, the Labour leader made an impassioned personal appeal to the public, citing the "middle-class" values of his background.

:/

should do what we did- make the middles class rich, then blame them for everything

Just read everything I write from this point on as bile-stewed cynicism unless I tell y'all otherwise.

shit that's my bad in fairness, should really know better.

should do what we did- make the middles class rich, then blame them for everything

As opposed to what actually happened: make the middle class rich, then blame everyone poorer or richer than them for everything

Things this General Election will be good for, #1: Compiling a shit-list of previously below-the-parapet celebs who Get Their Tory On.

Compiling a shit-list of previously below-the-parapet celebs who Get Their Tory On.

Needs Marcello's uncannny Tory Detector skillz

basically no topline celebs were openly tory in the first decade of labour in power iirc, so yeah, will be interesting
though celebs who actually campaign for labour will be interesting too

lol

xpost

Weren't Busted or McFly, someone like that, Tories?

Yeah, Busted. I thought you were after topline celebs?

They were topline for a couple of seconds, a few years abck?

or back even

Hey I heard Kenny Everett's just come out for the Tories

So just golfing old comedian types and Kirstie Allsop then?

I'm having 20 quid on a Gordon Brown/Susan Boyle photo-op before May 6.

Just where are this generation's Celeb Scouse Tories?

"'Wild Horses Couldn't Make Me Vote Tory SNP' Claims SuBo"

Just where are this generation's Celeb Scouse Tories?

Campaigning for the Lib Dems iirc

celeb voting roundup from the people: http://www.people.co.uk/news/tm_headline=celebrity-x-factor&method=full&objectid=22143891&siteid=93463-name_page.html

what are the lib dems, iyo?

(it's not laziness in not looking it up, ILX just sums it up better, straighter & funnier)

Comedian David Baddiel said: "I'm dallying between Labour, Lib Dems, Tories, Greens, Whigs, Communists, Sinn Fein, the SNP, Morecambe Bay Independents and the Church of the Militant Elvis."

they hardly need to tell us he's a comedian when he delivers gold like that

Good to see the Celebrity Cockney Wanker element still out in force for the Tories

Comedian David Baddiel said: "I'm dallying between Labour, Lib Dems, Tories, Greens, Whigs, Communists, Sinn Fein, the SNP, Morecambe Bay Independents and the Church of the Militant Elvis."

Lib Dems as usual then, Dave?

James Beattie must be the only Tory in Stoke.

(xxp) and how is Jim Davidson these days? Oh wait, I don't give a fuck.

I watched the expenses scandal unfold via BBC World television, which presented a rather distorted picture of how Britain works. Nick Clegg emerges as the major figure in UK politics, I assume solely on the basis of his having the mildest accent and slowest delivery of the party leaders.

Wag Lizzie Cundy said: "I'll vote Tory. My father was art director at Saatchi & Saatchi and did Margaret Thatcher's first ad campaign. I'm not happy with the tax on booze and petrol and I think Cameron's the man for PM."

I'm A Celebrity's DAVID VAN DAY said: "I was the panto villain in the jungle but Gordon Brown is far worse than I was. I'm voting Tory."

Other celebrity Conservative backers include CILLA BLACK, PAUL DANIELS, JIM DAVIDSON, PHIL COLLINS, KEN DODD and IAN BOTHAM.

darragh, Lib Dems = Tories wearing slippers instead of Doc Martens

i had something like that in my head, alright.

lib dems- the acceptable face of toryism?

the acceptable face of acceptability

depends on the constituency. here, they are basically the surrogate tories, no slippers required.

The unacceptable face of 'neither of the other two'-ism.

when there's an acceptable face of 'neither of the two' then you guys are sorted.

not to rub it in, but at least we have labour, y'know?

Lib Dems = the type of club that spends just long enough among the big boys for people to start assuming they are a big club themselves. See Coventry, Charlton, Norwich, Wimbledon; position currently occupied by Fulham.

The unacceptable face of 'neither of the other two'-ism.

Yeah, that's the most annoying aspect of them. It's a bit like people who say, "Oh Celtic and Rangers, one's just as bad as the other."

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/4/6/1270549564015/Gordon-Brown-and-the-cabi-001.jpg

supermantheme.wav

think they're more like villa or spurs. always qualifying for europe, never in with the slightest chance of being champions.

more like they pretend to be Man U or Chelsea depending on who they're playing but then get rumbled and disqualified at the last moment.

But nah, joeks, they're still soft-pedal Tories at heart

Never more so than with Clegg at the helm

Looking at who were the big clubs last time the Libs had a PM, they don't bring the laughs like Newcastle, so that possibly makes them Huddersfield.

lol at bnp assassination plot by the way

Night of the Blunt Knives

Lib Dems may get a Europa League spot with VINCE CABLE VINCE CABLE VINCE CABLE VINCE CABLE VINCE "NOSTRADAMUS" CABLE VINCE CABLE

The Le Tissier of the Lib Dems

aw I like Le Tiss

(xxxp) "People plotted to kill Hitler, now someone's plotted to kill me! So that must make me a serious politician!"

Lib Dems are: a) not the other two

Lib Dems were:
b) a nice comfy safe vote for middle classers who know that better public services and environmental issues are right-on things to talk about but paying for them might dent our cosy lifestyles in practice, so we get to vote for a party that talks about these things safe in the knowledge that they won't actually get in and do anything about it

(but current leadership has decided that point A and some vague chat about cutting deficits is a better look than the 90s gotta-spend-money stylez, so, basically I guess they are soft-pedal Tories, 'cept if you ask any LD voter I've met they'll tell you that they couldn't ever bear to vote Tory and that they did vote Labour once maybe actually maybe they didn't they don't quite remember but anyway it's all different now)

I think you're all missing out on this "hilariously witty" campaign: http://www.labservative.com

Looking forward to "Suggest" Banksy's take on this

I bet it'll be Jeremy Vine sucking off an armadillo wearing a policeman's helmet, or something

This poll tracker is pretty fascinating historically; goes back to 1983.

Seems that, until relatively recently, Labour never suffered the mid-term dips that characterised the Thatcher government. I can recall their/her popularity being in the gutter from within a few months of the '79 election until the Falklands. The poll tracker also shows Lab edging ahead within a year of their worst ever election mauling ('83) and holding a lead from spring '85 through to the beginning of '87. Labour back ahead again 18 months after another GE thumping (including the comically huge leads in the spring of '90 around the time of the Poll Tax riots), but basically nothing in it once Thatch had gone - very tight from early '91 up through the Major election win.

Labour then with huge leads from the summer of '92 right through to the fuel crisis of Sept '00 (barely a blip) and then again until finally the Tories get some traction after Cameron's election in late '05. Labour still could've won a summer/autumn '07 election.

It looks kind of obvious that they'd've won in 07 now, but I'm sure Gordon isn't dwelling on that in a sleepless haze of stomach ache every night.

Another fun General Election competion: let's see which Graun columnist can do the best "Here is an Enormous List of Betrayals and Stupidities Committed by the Last Labour Government and Why They Still Deserve Your Vote" article.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2009/10/16/1255690770426/Darragh-McManus-002.jpg

Bold clam not going with Toynbee there

I heard someone say on the BBC a little while ago that even if the Tories end up 10 percentage points ahead of Labour, they would still end up with an absolute majority of only 1 seat. Can this really be so, I did I mishear him?

what happened on the 24th of September 2003 such that Labour, the Conservatives, AND the Lib Dems were tied - 31% each on the ICM poll, and similarly close on the YouGov one? I have no recollection of this.

And will Tories be still giving it all that "First past the post, best system in the world, strong governments" malarkey if that happens?

(xp)

They could be 99% ahead of labour nationally and end up losing the election. Depends entirely on how the votes are distributed. Folk wisdom is the current map favours labour by around 10 points, but that's more something that gets repeated a lot by columnists rather than demonstrated by pollsters.

I hadn't heard that, but the boundaries have got a bit silly I gather. Labour will be the largest party so long as they lose by less than four, I think.

< 4 depends on how the votes are distributed. I think all bets are off tbh.

BBC.BBC.BBC
The Labour propaganda machine always questioning Tories in an agressive manner while giving Labour an easy ride.
Sack the lot when Tories are elected. BBC is our democratic enemy.

- Lemar, london uk, 6/4/2010 10:38 Rating 109

Again, it's not that simple. It depends on where they lose. They "lost" England last time, iirc.

BBC is our democratic enemy.

FACKING DEMOCRATIC BAAAAASTODS

let's see which Graun columnist can do the best "Here is an Enormous List of Betrayals and Stupidities Committed by the Last Labour Government and Why They Still Deserve Your Vote" article.

I mean there's a lot going on here, but isn't this yer basic ilxor POV on it too?

starting point re: boundaries/FPTP problems.

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2010/02/for-uk-conservatives-its-mp-ratio-that.html

As put by the Wall Street Journal: "The British electoral system does have its problems—chief among them being a constituency map that gives Labour a built-in advantage sometimes estimated to be equal to 10% of the national vote."

Looking back over the last 35 years, it turns out that this claim, commonly made in the US and UK press, is indeed the case for the last three elections, but not beyond that. In fact, from 1979 to 1992, the Tories enjoyed an electoral advantage that inflated their vote share signficantly more than Labour.

if the piling belize money into marginals strategy has worked, the "built-in" advantage is going to be nothing like 10%.

Does seem strange if it really is that skewed to Labour. A hung parliament would surely be disastrous for the Tories, a bit less disastrous for Labour (as long as they had the balls to dump Brown and start afresh)

Actual odds are:

largest party: C 1/6, L 7/1 (not moving much at all - had been 1/7, went out to 1/5 a week or so ago, now down again)
outright majority: C 8/15, L 11/1
hung parliament: 13/8

i mean it's better than the u.s. e.g. in the last election the republicans got 47% of the vote or whatever it was, and 0% of the presidents. think about it.

kenya got 1 president out of it iirc

tru

In fact, from 1979 to 1992, the Tories enjoyed an electoral advantage that inflated their vote share signficantly more than Labour.

Certainly did

Brown speaking to Morrisons staff. No big political questions yet. Plenty of chat re easter eggs and school runs

Does seem strange if it really is that skewed to Labour.

it's not. the party to which it is "skewed" is weather rather than climate as far as the electoral system goes. that a "skew" exists though is an inherent part of a FPTP system.

I mean there's a lot going on here, but isn't this yer basic ilxor POV on it too?

There are certainly ILXors who seem to adhere to "My Party, right or wrong". There's an inherent appeal in the "vote against the Tories at all costs" line. I believe Cameron when he says they will change things, that's why a majority Tory gov is still a thing to be feared, I think. But a positive reason to vote Labour? Doubt it. And it really does feel like a case of voting for them would only be encouraging them, at this stage.

not voting them with the hope that they will behave better when they scrape a win/eke out a coalition seems like a pretty risky strategy to most of us, i suspect.

There are certainly ILXors who seem to adhere to "My Party, right or wrong".

Haven't come across to many of them, tbh

xpost

I know, but voting for them is supporting the current regime. Things are gonna be bleak, whatever. Personally I prefer bleak with the possibility of change in the Labour party rather than bleak plus short term belly laughs at the Tories. But hey, belly laughs are fun while they last.

can't see any tory loss scenario in which brown isn't fatally weakened and replaced during the next parliament.

lolz all round

Grant Shapps, amazing as usual:

Just as Apple, the inventors of the iPhone, ensured that their product was ‘open source’ - meaning that software developers could come along and invent ways to use the phone going well beyond what Apple themselves had initially imagined - so too will our planning policy benefit from involved citizens achieving more than central government could ever manage on its own.

xxpost

I don't think that kind of change from within scenario will get you anything other than a Blairite or Brownite replacement. Maybe every other scenario leads the same way but that's the tiny slither of light I need to keep me from giving up all hope in humanity forever, right now.

xp wow

So every time he pops up talking in some forced trend-referencing way, we can say we have a Shapps for that?

see also

Pawlenty also had a few words to offer on the passage of Obamacare. "The Democrats are advancing a bill that's bad for the country," he says. "It's another example of the federal government taking over programs. The federal government is now acting like General Motors in the 1970s — they want to create big, centralized bureaucracies. [The GOP] is offering solutions that are like the Apple iPhone, with the consumers in charge. It's a very different vision."

THAT'S MY GOVERNOR. arrrghghghghghhh

the inventors of the iPhone, ensured that their product was ‘open source’ - meaning that software developers could come along and invent ways to use the phone going well beyond what Apple themselves had initially imagined

wish someone could tell them to invent a way to let it work properly with media player tbh

THAT'S MY GOVERNOR. arrrghghghghghhh

would watch this wacky sitcom

classic charlie sheen catchphrase

I presume Grant Shapps A++ grasp on the concept of "Open Source" will mean he will be minister in charge of technology, communications, disbanding offcom etc. when he tories get in.

every election needs its fatuous invented new demographic, and so i am pleased to announce: morrison's mums.

http://waugh.standard.co.uk/2010/04/morrisons-mums.html

I'm sick of this already.

See also Aldi Aunts, Tesco Teenagers, Sainsbury's Step-parents...

"one show man" (via the thick of it)

Waitrose Wankers

That's me

That's me too, some of the time!

Fine Fare Fuckers
Key Market Kocks

Presto Perverts

Bejam Bastards

Lidl Hitlers

from that People article on celebrity voting intentions, enjoyed this :

Pop star TONY HADLEY of Spandau Ballet said: "I hope the British public will not allow themselves to be conned into voting for another five years of this disgraced Labour Government. "We badly need a radical and strong government to change the fabric of Britain. I think the Conservatives are the only party that's brave and capable enough of doing this."

Spandau Ballet star GARY KEMP said: "Come on the Reds! I'll be backing Labour all the way."

lidl hitlers ftw

aldi young dudes

We badly need a radical and strong government to change the fabric of Britain.

Vote Zanu PF

sinn fein- strong, cohesive, local, left wing- what you guys waiting for?

lidl hitlers
aldi young dudes

beautiful

Tesco Express - "Theme from Tesco Express"

suspect voters get a bit narked at all the labels that are dreamed up during election campaigns. Worcester Woman, Mondeo Man, heck, I even remember William Hague's Peppledash People.

peppledash?

No wonder he lost

lidl hitlers
aldi young dudes

^^^

Double lols from me for "lidl hitlers" because I pronounce "little" like that.

What is with wearing a jacket and shirt with no tie? Is a young conservative thing or are all you young people doing it? Bloody disgraceful.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4021/4497334348_23e1079141_o.jpg

I think it's an "Eton tossbag" thing.

It's going on at my work at the moment because the office is nominally keeping 'vacation' hours. I'm wearing two ties to keep standards up.

'two ties' was michael heseltine's nickname for former tory mp stephen milligan

whey all the twoties as?

Personally I prefer bleak with the possibility of change in the Labour party rather than bleak plus short term belly laughs at the Tories.

tory govt would be a cavalcade of psychotic rabelaisian black humour and hogarthian farce

they're really a terrible lot

suppose the alternative is to believe they're the blairites who came of age a few years too late but osborne et al have something deathly grim about them

Is there an et al? Osborne always seems kind of a unique creature, like Smèagol, and I daren't look too closely lest I'm wrong.

just assuming there are unseen hoardes of them, like with icebergs or arboreal fungi

"My name is Osbourne, for we are many"

somewhere in an abandoned cupboard in smith square, isomorphic homunculi are scraping their way out of their larval sacs, identical in all but scale to the junior ministers they will shortly become

isometric homunculi?

they look just like george osborne, but really tiny, writhing in sublime jouissance as they tear apart the the soft tissues of moths and flies

for balance:

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00053/Tom_Watson_53828s.jpg

http://i41.tinypic.com/aws38j.jpg

nick frost and dom passantino's love-child?

was going to say

Jeez I was about to joke about Tom having let himself go and then I checked the picture tag and it was Tom.

Meanwhile, ~40 MPs debate the Digital Economy Bill

http://imgur.com/BvyIF.png

unbelievably classic moment on Newsnight just now, interviewing a crowd of well-turned-out Tories standing around in Leeds, waiting for David Cameron. the reporter calls out, "who's excited here?" pause "anybody excited??" and the crowd smiles and sort of sheepishly goes "yeahh."

most entitled "yeah" ever

sort of missing jeremy's tonight pompadour tbh, he seems neutered without it

er, pompadour tonight

Today programme's vox pop with David Cameron's "great ignored" was hilarious this morning. The "silent majority" should stay silent until they learn some basic grammar and idiom. Schools being "run-over" by foreigners....

broke my heart when her little kid piped up in agreement. could give a shit about their grammar and idiom tbh, that's not the measure of a person, but the sentiments they expressed were tragic and risible.

Mandy's "capitalism in one country" zing was a good-un, I thought.

The Great Ignored perilously close to the Great Unwashed imo

Meanwhile...

9.16am: Brown has been visiting the Innocent Smoothies HQ this morning.

The Great Ignored perilously close to the Great Unwashed imo

... the phrase I mean!

(xp) I want to see how well his forced smile holds up to the IS-HQ baby photo wall.

Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs. Labour's Tax On Jobs.... etc

The "silent majority" should stay silent until they learn some basic grammar and idiom.

yes, democracy is better left to the well-educated

I think he means getting interviewed on telly as opposed to voting

Each bottle of Gordon Brown smoothie contains a million crushed hopes and a dash of bitter reality.

The "silent majority" should stay silent until they learn some basic grammar and idiom.

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00042/john-prescott_42488t.jpg

Prescott looks like he's got Roger De Courcey's hand up his arse there.

democracy is better left to the well-educated

i mean this is otm tbh

Democracy is better left to those that did arts and humanities degrees (did you see what I did there).

what, around evening shifts in KFC?

It's at a good time in a High Street location, yes.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/04/07/article-1264109-0908567D000005DC-46_468x341.jpg

"ILX was right, this is some overpriced shit."

best argument against democracy is five minute conversation w/the average voter iirc

Think there's a grand old tradition from football threads that we need to do here, by the way, namely:

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/arts/2007/05/15/brownbig.jpg

HE'S READY

looooool

http://www.endevil.com/images/davidcameron2.jpg

HE'S READY

http://pictures.directnews.co.uk/liveimages/Nick+Clegg_2765_19549637_0_0_7043735_300.jpg

HE MIGHT BE READY, NO ONE'S REALLY LOOKING

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2005/05/06/KilroySilkDefeat_final.jpg

HE'S READY

I'm sure Ed was being ironic about the spelling/grammar thing.

Because I don't go on footer threads I was not aware of the READINESS meme, but I like.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/04/07/article-1264109-090905FB000005DC-181_468x306.jpg

HE'S AROUSED READY

where did the "he's ready" meme come from?

it's probably my favourite meme ever

if only we had more memes of that quality, it's like, idk, the great meme-authors have all gone...

I think it's a Swygart creation.

http://blogs.abc.net.au/photos/uncategorized/2008/05/28/cabinet_reshuffle_8_4.jpg

THESE DUDES ARE MOST DEFINITELY READY

http://www.prisonplanet.com/images/november2009/261109top.jpg

THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE READY NOW

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2008/11/05/pete460.jpg

HE'S 25%-35% MORE READY THAN HE WAS FIVE YEARS AGO

I think it's a Swygart creation.

http://www.diacritic.org/blog/archives/images/sans_trotsky.jpg

WE'RE ON DIS TING NO HYPE LOL: Championship, League One, League Two, Blue Square, and lower thread, 2008/09

My bad.

lol

http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/george-galloway.JPG

HE WOULD BE READY BUT THE POWERS WHO DON'T WANT HIM TO SUCCEED KEEP KEEPING HIM DOWN

thanks for sparing us gallowaycatsuit.jpg

http://sheikyermami.com/wp-content/uploads/nick-griffin-eggs-415x275.jpg
He's eggy.

where did the "he's ready" meme come from?

eh it was the skysportslol ad campaign into this season's football campaign i think

you'd think if the royal fam wanted a tory win they'd bring this forward:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/theroyalfamily/7562314/Prince-William-and-Kate-Middleton-could-announce-engagement-in-June.html

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_V5jYS8eezmU/SrI1UNQxVBI/AAAAAAAABh0/qBcj07fpqec/s400/oh+jury.jpg

HE'S READY YOU LUCKY CAMBRIDGE VOTERS

i'm not ready for bbcode tags wait

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_V5jYS8eezmU/SrI1UNQxVBI/AAAAAAAABh0/qBcj07fpqec/s400/oh+jury.jpg

that's me!

a cambridge voter i mean

OR DO I??!1!!?!ONE??!

That is you, I'd recgonise that face anywhere

This is the first UK gen. election I can vote in. Looking forward to it!

next ilx code update really needs a feature that takes you to one side and says "you realise you're putting an image link in italics there, right?"

My father told me this evening that Grant Shapps and three of his minions were leafleting commuters at Hatfield railway station yesterday.

At least they were until the First Capital Connect security escorted them off the premises for not having permission to be there.

Awesome. How politics and its coverage looks, and what that says about politics, a blog by one of Fashion Architecture Taste:

http://electoaesthetics.blogspot.com/

I hate this election already.

that times a thousand

I'm voting Labour, founder of Tory gay rights group says

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/im-voting-labour-founder-of-tory-gay-rights-group-says-1938700.html

"Any suggestion that Chris Grayling is against gay rights is wholly wrong – it is a matter of record that he voted for civil partnerships," said a party spokeswoman. "He also voted in favour of the legislation that prohibited bed and breakfast owners from discriminating against gay people."

Party spokeswoman not realising she's showing that Grayling doesn't vote in accordance with his stated opinions. So now the gays hate him for being a homophobe and the Tory homophobes hate him for paying lip-service to their bigotry while forcing gays into their homes.

not defending grayling, but he is talking about people who hire out rooms in their homes, a relatively small part of the b&b/hotel-sphere. the reporting in that independent article (and elsewhere) is s.what misleading.

He's an accident waiting to happen that guy... and I suppose it's happened... actually it's happened more than once. Another one to look out for, in that regard, is Andrew Lansley.

If you travel around the Scottish highlands staying at B&Bs half of the ones you end up staying in are basically rooms in other people's houses so I don't think it's that small a part of the market in rural areas. Also he's still a cunt regardless of the market share because this isn't about markets.

not defending grayling, but he is talking about people who hire out rooms in their homes, a relatively small part of the b&b/hotel-sphere.

So what? Admittedly, I haven't been in a B&B for years but, in most of the ones I've been, the proprietors seemed to live there too.

woah the tories are actually "bringing back national service"?

It's OK, Michael Caine approves. And, no, I refuse to call the talentless wanker, "Sir"

talentless? he's an actor, he doesn't need 'talent', he just needs to have looked k cool in the 60's and 70's, which he did.

"That's trouble with these layabouts on the dole these days, none of them are actually prepared to go out there and look cool"

"Show me a gang taking drugs and I'll show you a group of people who have nothing to look forward to,"

http://markgorman.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/cameron-bullingdon-dining-club2_468x420.jpg

As long as the scheme is strictly voluntary, it's not necessarily a bad thing is it?

ts 'nothing to look forward to' vs 'birch the lot of em'

how can it be strictly voluntary?

WE INSIST THAT YOU DO THIS if you want to

I'm sure the 3 people who volunteer for it will find it very beneficial

Ha ha, love how sinister and repellent every face in that photo is. Labour should just whack that up on a hoarding. Governed by this sinister bunch of crypto-fascist Prussian footmen?

voluntary like they won't get paid to be shot at?

well, i mean yeah- this hasn't been done yet? ffs who are their marketing guys?

(re bullingdon club as labour poster)

All I'm saying is a voluntary project for 16 year olds to do good works in the community for a minimum wage is not in itself such a terrible idea is it? I mean, if the Tories are proposing it would probably end up being useless, but as a principle...

well, i mean yeah- this hasn't been done yet? ffs who are their marketing guys?

― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 April 2010 11:59 (46 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(re bullingdon club as labour poster)

― Jesse James Woods (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 April 2010 11:59 (34 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

TS: copyright in photo owned by tory sympathiser vs how much of the country would rather be governed by those they consider their 'superiors'

yeah... far better the working-class heroes you get in the upper reaches of the labour party

whose current de facto second-in-command isn't even elected

whose leader of the house is -- oh, you can fill all this in

^ bang on cue

Labour played the "toffs" card in a recent byelection and it backfired, iirc

Yes, no need for that nonsense. Or anymore stupid poster campaigns.

manedelson's a mensch imho

(archetypally so, take note dmac)

hahaha shd read these posts first

mandelson appears to have a brain and is p zingy, but you can't really escape the absurdity of a labour government relying on the likes of him and lord adonis

can't really escape the absurdity of a person called lord adonis tbh

Lord Myners!!!

I can't really escape the absurdity of a person called lord anything... or sir anything, for that matter

http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/1773/guccimane771548.jpg

manedelson visits young offender's institution in stockton on tees to awed silence from young crims, mensch that he is

he's not a mensch

state vs radric sez otherwise

xpost

Far from being the ‘me’ generation, young adults (aged between 16 and 24) are the most likely age group to say they would like to give up some free time to help others, with 68% giving it some thought during the festive season. And the idea appeals to more women than men, with 66% expressing an interest against 49% of men.

What ruffians running the streets, becoming crims instead of helping people etc. bring back national service to stop all these children doing heinous charity work you see from them under the labour party

(Was actually googling to find stats I read recently about how volunteering numbers have been rising steadily of late, with teh yuts being the highest age group to do something but fuck it, i'm a lazy googler.)

The only way Labour can not lose this is by hammering home the "lightweights lightweights lightweights" thing as it's the one genuine concern people have about the Tories. That and the fact that the economy might well get worse under them.

By "people" I mean "swing voters who might conceivably vote Tory", not us obviously.

ok when you introduce yiddish into uk politics threads, that's really when i start to get lost.

go get yourselves a centre left party, if you don't have one, start one. sitting here moaning, typical of the youths of todays, i bet you're all taking drugs at the back of waitrose

this was alright too

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/feb/18/us-gloom-over-uk-economy/print

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/03I32BO6Qm31m/610x.jpg

Change platform to me = "not better, but different" - which might be enough against a party going for a 4th term.

Was actually googling to find stats I read recently about how volunteering numbers have been rising steadily of late, with teh yuts being the highest age group to do something

This is more to do with the fact that entry level jobs now require unpaid experience than any surge in civic spirit surely?

And of course, voluntary service != "Bring Back National Service".

But voluntary service = "Bring Up National Service".

bring back non-national service

Like the International Brigades?

This sort of scheme is a hardy perennial of British election campaigns, invariably forgotten about before the polls even close

He's an accident waiting to happen that guy... and I suppose it's happened... actually it's happened more than once. Another one to look out for, in that regard, is Andrew Lansley.

― Is that your Ayrshire bacon? (Tom D.), Thursday, 8 April 2010 09:30 (3 hours ago) Bookmark

I did a PowerPoint presentation on this guy, searching a comprehensive database for his response to swine flu. He's a conniving twat. Always looking to say the right thing and one-up whoever's trying to sort out the mess, then when it's sorted suddenly turning into a do-gooder.

The voluntary National Service thing reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Ralph is the only one to sign up for a chip in his head so he can be tracked at all times.

As regards Lansley, i had a pop at him last month on BBC's Question Time show as he was going on and on about what 'the public wants' in respect of the James Bulger case.
He shook his head at me and looked grouchy saying "Really?... are you sure?" while i was talking and suchlike, towing the party line for the camera and generally playing to the gallery. It grieves me to say i think we'll be hearing a lot more of him. Still at least i got to put him in his place briefly in front of 3 or 4 million people.

Caroline Lucas by comparison was a model of even-handedness and decorum for the full hour.

^ Who knew David Dimbleby was an ILXor?

I will be doing my best to vote Lansley out. Not going to happen though.

Surely they should be driving around in a new Boris Routemaster rather than some foreign made thing?

Free market. Fuck yer British manufacturers innit?

"You left-wing scum are all the same, wanting to hand our birthright to Romanian gypsies who beat their wives and children into begging and stealing money they can gamble with, Muslim nutters who want to kill us and put us all under medieval Sharia law, the same Africans who sold their Afro-Caribbean brothers into a slavery that Britain was the first to abolish (but you still want to apologize for!)"

i mean that's a faultless parody effort, surely?

haha, he posted it because he was angry that someone had said ukip was a racist party. great rebuttal.

Ukip is a party of real people, not career politicians. Real people sometimes make mistakes

heroic defence

Beginning to think that UKIP, following on from Farage's "Belgium's not even a country" rant, is self-sabotaging in order to make sure the Tories win <---- might run this theory past Mandy, see if Labour can run with it

You left-wing scum are all the same, wanting to hand our birthright to Romanian gypsies who beat their wives and children into begging and stealing money they can gamble with

this is what you left wing scum are like. reel and gasp at the mirror held up.

missing NV input into this tbh

the british were the first patrons of african slave traders to withdraw their custom, clearly something to be immensely proud of

Not like we made any money out of it or anything

I suspect that the reason UKIP suspended him was that he forgot to say something offensive about the Jews...

british decision to pull out of slave trade cost a lot of jobs, damaged business. wouldn't happen today.

Labour's Tax On Slavery

I suspect that the reason UKIP suspended him was that he forgot to say something offensive about the Jews...

the ukip requires each member to have personally participated in the babi yar massacre

the annual fees to the ukipolitburo are paid in the scalps of kosovar foetuses

You left-wing scum are all the same
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5c/DVader.jpeg

Like the bit where he distinguishes between 'Africans' and 'Afro-Carribeans' there.

good old africans like cecil rhodes and eugene terreblanche

I'd vote for him, but apparently he's been ditched:

Ranting Labour hopeful blasted

In another abuse-filled post he wrote: "I f****** hate Paolo Nutini."

^ Missed opportunity here for Labour to win over swing voters, shoulda gone national with that one

otoh i do no want to see Cameron posters saying "Pencil full of lead"

http://anmblog.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c565553ef0133ec9097d7970b-500wi

Face it, how did he expect to win without that crucial Jedward fan demographic? Bet Moray has literally half a dozen of them who are old enough to vote.

LOL British politics. This is turning into a big story!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3310/3599389844_e14a1489cd.jpg

HE'S READY

http://twitter.com/stuartmaclennan

Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!

:)

:(

Moray Firth Zing Crew is ready

He would have been alright if he'd just been against letting gay people sleep in his spare bedroom.

Grabs of some of his tweets here
http://www.stv.tv/galleries/news/stuart-maclennan/image-5942/#gallery-title

can't argue with that last one

Standing as a Labour candidate in Moray is a futile exercise anyway, it's not exactly a hotbed of left-of-centre progressive politics, hence the success of the left-of-centre progressive English hating SNP

UK Politics: your tweets onscreen

Fucking amazing work by Sky News in showing incredibly important footage of the Dallas Cowboys stadium being demolished live, waiting a good few minutes for it to finish, then cutting to Tessa Jowell halfway through her speech at the Labour Walthamstow press conference.

oh man i totally stayed in today to see tessa jowell's speech at the labour walthamstow press conference http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/angry/3d-mad.gif

Election Issues That No One Is Talking About #1 - I would assume the Tories are planning on reducing the deficit by privatising as much as they possibly can. Has anyone actually asked them about this yet?

Oh man it's about time the Royal Observatory had its Trotskyite monopoly broken up

it's, er, not exactly a wedge issue:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/oct/12/gordon-brown-public-asset-sale

BNP to win a seat at next Election?

Singles Only. Applies to whether or not the BNP win a parliamentary seat in the next UK General Election. Settled in accordance with BBC results.

No 1/4
Yes 5/2

Selling off some real estate and a chain of betting shops that probably shouldn't be owned by the state in the first place isn't really what I had in mind.

(xpost)

they could privatise the banks, i suppose

I think there's some sense in the Tote being a public company tbh.

the shortest constituency for bnp is 7/2 in barking then 12/1 stoke-on-trent central

can you bet on that at the tote?

sort of misleading to focus on tote etc given 82% of the headline figure is unspecified real estate

tote 3/1 bnp gain seat(s), typical govt generosity

thought of man utd longer odds to win league than bnp in parliament o_0

Also: Labour longer odds to win the election.

Delightful:

Thought for the day: Proprietors are not allowed to ban gayers, but they are allowed to ban kids.

gayer than...what?

straighters, presumably

http://www.thestraightchoice.org/image.php?s=l&i=c6182957d559abe43a01ef8bab1b6b88

Courtesy of Andrew Charalambous - wouldn't want you thinking it was a BNP leaflet.

He looks like MiniMe

is that a bnp poster?

xpost

oh right

can't you tell by the font? it's forever 1987 in toryworld

str8 bullshit

Not if you include Iraq and Afghanistan surely?

Utterly stupid and avoidable clanger from Labour

I doubt they deliberately targeted cancer patients but did the idea that this might happen really not occur to anyone?

Not if you include Iraq and Afghanistan surely?

― Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Farting in Space (NickB), Sunday, 11 April 2010 19:47 (2 hours ago)

important post imo

i know that significant majority might feel that not voting labour is throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but y'know, sometimes the baby's a little cunt

you were on that funny thread

wtf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCO-KwYpH0M

Reduce the age of voting to five.

it's the triumph of the innocent smoothies aesthetic. a little knitted hat, headbutting the human face, forever.

how does a new industrial revolution sound?

child labour? fuck yeah!
political repression? fuck yeah!
widespread immiseration? fuck yeah!

Can only watch that with the sound down, but I rather liked it. That long bike with eight policemen on it was really good I thought.

Manifesto by David Shrigley or Purple Ronnie?

And there are moments of embarrassment. I had no idea how many men open the front door stark naked. ‘Congratulations,’ I said to the first one. ‘You’re my first nude.’ The bits I could see above the letter box blushed prettily.

The second male nude was pierced so unexpectedly that I was rendered completely speechless.

I just grabbed my leaflets and ran away.

The youtube comments are quite sweet, only one zing:

123cameronc At last, some positive advertising about Labour! wonderful stuff, lets just hope that we can do enough to stop Cameron messing it up!
mondjahr It's sooo cool! My kids (3 and 6, respectivily) are loving it. I'm waiting with expectation to watch the version for adults.
Marnerbanana nice one!
MrCameronsucks Good Luck Labour! Let's hope people don't have short term memories and remember what the country was like under conservative rule!
Abi2418 Really funny! Very well made!
leebzmuir I like the Idea of this
stuartbrucepr Fantastic snapshot that illustrate real Labour values

xp
if i knew rantzen was coming round i'd get me kit off

Something about Cameron zinging anyone else for possible lack of "moral compass" (on Matt DC's BBC news link from yesterday) is putting me off my lunch.

So the Labour manifesto conflates Crime and Immigration into one section. Fucking indefensible pandering dicks.

by this point i have no idea who i'm voting for at all

So the Labour manifesto conflates Crime and Immigration into one section.

Haven't seen this yet, but maybe they're just treating them as Home Office issues?

yes

depressing
http://www.voterpower.org.uk/

In Hull North, one person does not really have one vote, they have the equivalent of 0.066 votes.

Won't feel so bad about writing FUCK THE LOT OF YOU on my ballot now.

0.216 votes! Result. Seems like an underestimation of the potential for SNP swing, though.

0.226

i don't really understand the maths behind this though

0.088

It's just how safe the seat is, no?

Note "The average UK voter only has the power of 0.253 votes". Voters in Oxford East have 3.17x more voting power than the UK average. So I'm voting in one of the most marginal seats in the country and I've still got less than a vote.

this all sounds like bs to me

i have a fucken vote

that i might use or not

It's some obscurantist, retweetable nonsense about PR.

oh you crazy democracies. we just get builders to pick our govt.

The Tories will today present their vision of a Britain made-up of self-reliant people with greater control of their own lives who don't like all them Afghans coming over here and stinking up the place.

The party's manifesto will set out plans to build a society of self-governing racists who will finally be able to get on the housing ladder 'cause all them fuzzy wuzzies have been stopped at Dover and thrown back into the sea.

wow it's like a british onion

oh no, it's shit sub-radio 4 6.30pm slot gash

You say that like it's mutually exclusive.

Er, not to come over all jezebel.com, but 'gash'? Really?

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/files/2010/04/keane.jpg

My first thought was that that was a complaint about the music by someone attending the launch.

'will not vote for party whose leader i resemble all too much'

First Carmodist conspiracy theory of the campaign? (xp)

It's a relief that Keane flopped last time round. But do not be misled: their real power, their real, horrific victory, is yet to come. By comparison to such things, pop should not matter at all.

George Galloway entourage 'attacked by Islamic pupils'

QTF

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/4/13/1271156041597/Ukips-2010-election-poste-008.jpg

Loving their logo. Very Poundstretcher.

Is there a different phone number for gay chat btw?

u kip if u want to

UKIP: IF UFEEL SLEEPY

they did their manifesto launch simultaneously with the tories?

that's genius media planning

constructive interference

like how their photos look like they were badly scanned from a 30 yr old newspaper

I think the word "Sod" there came from an old PIL bootleg.

does kinda remind of some post-punk era diy fanzine graphics, as reimagined by whichever diabetic retired actuary from carshalton does press for ukip

It now seems that Nick Griffin is to be flanked everywhere he goes by a man dressed in British Army uniform. But as ever with the BNP all is not as it would seem to be, the man dressed as a soldier is the BNP’s own Adam Walker who is also standing as an MP for the BNP in County Durham

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2701/4519665343_3a745083f3.jpg

This is better from Labour, I think. The stuff about the role of the state in the Tory manifesto leaves them pretty open to attack I think, "civic engagement" as opposed to government support could very easily be spun into "loads of people will be left high and dry". Which is possibly because it's true.

Perhaps a little runic/cryptic tho?

If Labour don't hammer it home at every opportunity throughout the campaign then they probably don't deserve to win the election.

I have no idea what that "If you're there for him" thing is referring to.

voting presumably?

I guess.

Needs sexing up.

the line of attack is correct i think, but perhaps could be a little more direct

if you're there for him, he'll dismember every living thing is nuneaton

*in

I think the 'if you're there for him' possibly refers to this people's government thing Cameron's pushing - in conservative phrasing, reducing central government, devolving responsibility (or some such thing), handing power back to the people, local independence; in leftist phrasing, removing state support structures, putting financial decisions into private, corporate hands etc.

Hence the phrase, I guess, but yes, that slogan feels more productive of a furrowed brow and a 'how many letters?' than tapping decisive ideological feelings.

Did anyone see ITV's VoxPop bit regarding how the Cons have this idea about letting people set up their own schools?

People in a park going "Oh yes, I'd like to be a part of setting up our own school, we couldn't do a worse job could we?"

OH REALLY? YOU THINK SO?

pretty excited about running a hospital!

pussies, im setting up a gd air force

luftmenschwaffe

I was pleased to hear Cam'ron say that the running of hospitals and schools will be changed in the same way the running of the phone network was. Need more competitive prices in those markets, for sure.

Billy Hague came off SO BADLY yesterday, banging on about this. He was ranting on Radio4 saying people were sick and tired of government targets and bureaucracy, so "off you go and run the schools yourselves". WHAT? If you *are* the government, can't you just errrrr get rid of the targets and paperwork? He might as well have just said "oh stuff it, do health and education yourselves, cos we can't be fricken arsed".

Clever interviewer pointed out that a lot of people setting up their own schools are doing so VERY reluctantly...

hague still sounds like a teenager putting on an adult voice to get served in a pub, such a weird fella.

And, yet, when he was at school (I'm told, by his former teachers), he was like an old man trapped in a 12-year-old's body.

Remind me which Gov brought in the National Curriculum?

And SATs

Both of which yr new "let's do the show right here" community religious mentalist hate schools wd still have to adhere to, I imagine

suspect it's more about further weakening the bargaining position of teacher unions than setting schools free of central control.

I wd love to think it's about that but really? does any gov really care about the NUT any more?

Or is it about money? How are these new schools going to be funded? Have to admit, haven't read the smallprint...

xpost i just can't think of anything else it's likely to achieve? the tories are still very prescriptive about curriculum issues, everyone's got to learn their kings and queens etc. but keeping the teacher wage bill down is going to be a priority for the next few years, so taking more schools out of the central bargaining process has got to appeal.

Oh:

"We will move to a national per pupil funding system, so that new schools get paid if they attract pupils, with extra funding for the poorest pupils (a pupil premium)."

i think it's a cheap gesture to right-wing nutjobs plus it gets more schools out of the clutches of the evil LEAs - the Tories seem to be more antipathetic to those, as potential non-Tory power structures - than the Unions (let's be honest, it's just the one Union) who they must be pretty confident they could face down in a strike bearing in mind the GB public's historic regard for Guardian-reading teachers.

Lib Dem manifesto opposes a war no one is seriously proposing to fight. You were right about Iraq, we get it.

Both main parties' policies on schools are completely batshit. I really feel for everyone with kids right now.

I don't wanna go into all the aggravations on here but I will say our Joel is at least having a good time at secondary school.

System really needs dynamiting and starting again but obv that wd be more disruption for poor sods going thru it right now

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong (I don't have kids in school yet), but I thought primary schools were pretty good these days? I say this just having had the chance to compare primary education in Madrid with primary ed in London. Madrid: blackboard, lots of copying, lots of shouting, bored kids, kids written off the minute they walk through the door, NO provision for special needs WHATSOEVER. London: kids "on task", teacher finding 6 million ways to teach to cater for diff learning styles, special ed provision, blah blah blah. I know where I'd want to send my kids, anyway.

Having said that:

Madrid: happy teachers
London: suicidal teachers

I just can't see this tory "run yer own skool" idea really getting that many voters excited.

No question there are good teachers out there, the system they're working in looks horrendous and wrong-headed to me tho.

the system kids they're working in with looks horrendous and wrong-headed to me tho.

fixed!

as much as almost anything, schools have the potential to make kids

Modern sex education really has gone too far.

damnit beaten to it

Lib Dem manifesto opposes a war no one is seriously proposing to fight. You were right about Iraq, we get it.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, April 14, 2010 1:34 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark

it's kind of a dumm commitment/hostage to fortune anyway. if iran becomes a threat (not outside the realms of possibility) then the lib dem leader is left holding his dick because s/he can't even threaten force.

who wd we have left to send, the Brownies?

Then again, Vietnam happened without the UK being involved.

even hawkish old me wouldn't call north vietnam a threat

It was filmed in Docklands iirc

Who IS "run yr own schools!" aimed at? Thought at first it might be home-schooling parents, but I s'pose they're fundamentally not interested in other people's kids, who are all nasty and should be kept away from at all costs.

kids!

the "new" Conservative argument these days really is just "a thousand points of light" isn't it? bullshit now, bullshit then

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thousand_points_of_light

I can categorically say that if you elect me as Prime Minister we will not, under any circumstances, go to war with Andorra.

yeah but how can we trust you on that?

You were right about Iraq, we get it.

Can't blame them for trying this though, given that it was enough to get Obama elected.

xpost: And will you 'make Britain better', preferably without ever defining your terms?

They haven't said they'll make it better, they've said they're going to "change" it.

But that was the BBC front page headline yesterday, with quotes round it.

Change/make better: very very different generaltothepointofmeaningless concepts.

"Change" is nicely sinister.

With a shitty incumbent, vague 'change' sounds are good enough for the electorate a lot of the time- that's the danger?

They clearly chose the word "change" remembering that a change is as good as a rest. Fits in nicely with the "run yer own country while we sip Champagne" policy.

I really feel for everyone with kids right now.

Thanks, but you don't need to really. Both our kids - one primary, other high school are getting a great rounded education. I rarely meet any disgruntled parents. I mean there's always one or two, but seriously they would always find something to whine about. Call this a computer! My child is a genius and needs more maths! These chairs are too small! I think there's been definite visible improvements (of course I Am A Labour Stan And Not To Be Trusted but it wasn't that long ago we were being asked to chip for books). So far education (from my limited experience) has really not been an issue this election. It's all been about the economy (with a bit of immigration thrown in) with the emphasis on the "National Debt", which the tories seem to be hammering home at the moment - as I would if I were them.

Yes, and that's tied to "Brown has engineered the worst slump of the last 50 years" or whatever. While there are plenty of accurate criticisms you can level at Brown - both as PM and as Chancellor - in the way the UK economy was structured, this particular line of attack seems pretty weak. Every nation in the world suffered massively due to the malfeasance of the corporate titans. The national debt is bad because of the stimulus required to lift spending. Every nation is dealing with this.

fuckin' bullshit: london was pretty much the epicentre of the corporate malfeasance/casino banking of the 00s. regulation was even looser than in GWB's america: hence the american firms that set up here. it's not a "weak line" to attack along... unless you're the tories, who would have done the exact same thing had they been in charge.

Tories' main advantage here is "it didn't happen on our watch" and Labour's only riposte is "ah but it would have, and worse!"

I saw Brown on some Q&A the other week and he pulled some weak shit along the lines of "The Tories would have opposed the stringent and necessary banking regulations we uh... should have introduced... but didn't..."

You were right about Iraq, we get it.

ha surely it's a case of 'WE were right OBVIOUSLY ffs' plus there have been noises about Iran in the media and from gov over the years for it to be worth mentioning really

unless you're the tories, who would have done the exact same thing had they been in charge.

Well exactly. Pretty much every modern managerial party tries to make life easy for the big dogs. Though what you say is true that London was among the worst of the worst. My point is that every country has suffered a monumental recession and every country has run up huge deficits trying to contain it, so the argument that Brown caused all this falls a little flat. What, Brown's responsible for Mexico's recession now, too?

I'm pretty sure every country is blaming its own leader for the economic wotsits. Opposition parties can really capitalise on this kind of parrochialism.

completely psittacotic isn't it

mynah threat

the libdem 'commitment' re iran is stupid but their opposition to the iraq war should still be counted in their favour

yeah. i voted for 'em in 2005 p much coz of that. i wasn't going to vote labour. probably not going to vote at all this time.

i hate to get jaggery on your thread, and i know i've asked this qn before, and gotten the answer "lol we dunno", but, what is the point of the libdems existence? idgi

you know you've made it when yr an ilx strawman

the point of the lib dems is to give students someone to vote for

jaggery-pukery

jaggery is actually an indian drink, made from milk and spices iirc

*puke*

lol

Jaggery is actually boiled cane juice, like a brown sugar with a really distinctive taste.

OK, not voting is just some straight-up bullshit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaggery

was gonna mention

tbh learning two or three new facts about jaggery from that article felt like time better spent than the five minutes i was going to spend refreshing newspapers + news.bbc + forum for more meaningless election details (Nick Clegg "yet to decide" on debate neckwear)

Jaggery pokery, innit.

for some reason i thought it was a variant on lassee, saw it on a menu years ago

OK, not voting is just some straight-up bullshit.

No. There comes a point when all the choices are too heinous to vote for. I make a point of going to the polling booth and not voting, if that helps, but this "vote for the least evil" line won't fly sometimes.

Then you write in. Too many people died for your right to suffrage, and mine.

Too many people died for your right to suffrage, and mine.

not that many for mine tbh

Suzy we don't have write-in candidates. My "write-in" = spoiling my ballot paper. No matter what your tactical intentions are when you vote, it registers as support for the party you vote for. There's nobody standing in this election who I'm prepared to support. (I might behave differently if I lived in a marginal.)

No matter what your tactical intentions are when you vote, it registers as support for the party you vote for

yeah but so what. this is a general election, not an ILM poll!

kinda think that makes it more important not to congratulate the Labour party on their sterling work these last 13 years.

id probably vote if the tories had a chance here, but they don't, so it's LD vs labour and im not *that* arsed either way. i actually like the idea of moving the tax burden from the poor to the rich, whereas -- this was just before lehmann bros collapsed iirc -- labour made the brilliant move during the parliament of moving it in the other direction.

during this parliament

not that many for mine tbh

Get yrself one background to the Representation of the People Act, or ask your great grandfather ffs.

id probably vote if the tories had a chance here, but they don't, so it's LD vs labour and im not *that* arsed either way.

isn't is possible for the tories to come out on top in this way?

Get yrself one background to the Representation of the People Act, or ask your great grandfather ffs.

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, April 14, 2010 6:44 PM (26 seconds ago) Bookmark

well, pretty sure my grandfather wasn't around at peterloo, but to try to lassoo the radical tradition into this... just no. voting helps legitimize the normal business of state -- expropriation, surveillance, etc. man.

yeah was gonna point out that people might well've been giving their lives for the wrong tactical decision.

it's an unimaginably different world, but im p sure those who died (& were justified) were after more than a quinquennial poll to decide who among the ruling elite gets their hands on the steering wheel. in theory maybe having a "labour party" would have changed that... but, um, yeah.

feel like i need 2 read this:

http://fernwoodpublishing.ca/website_covers/9781552662878.jpg

cameron in the middle of a friendly crowd on the bbc news channel talking about padded bras for seven-year-olds

History of the Labour Party = well-meaning Liberals striving to curb the worst excesses of lumpen proles

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/None_of_the_above

xxpost

Oh that bikini is all over the front of the Sun. presumably the bird on Page 3 isn't wearing one.

the bird of about seven?

One could argue that the Sun is A-OK with sexualising popular culture when it suits.

I haven't seen this bikini and on one level it's a bit o_O but on another level people have to bring their own OMG PAEDOS reaction to it.

LOLLLLLL Dad Miliband.

Nobody's trying to lasso a radical tradition into anything here, not even you, HM. I just feel that if you vote, you're a citizen and if you don't, you're a subject.

I guess in the current situ you have to be local about your vote - is your MP good for constituents, for example? I can't vote in UK elections obvs, but would vote for my local Lab MP even though I'm disappointed w/Labour generally.

If your 7-year-old requires boob padding, you've got a bigger problem than having to shop at Primark.

don't quite know how to take that

can you vote in any UK elections, suzy/tracer?

Voting for a Labour candidate on this go round wd feel like voting for the continuing destruction of what's left of the party to me, so no amount of regard for my right to participate in my own subjection is gonna swing this one.

Also kids like to dress up, innit? I wd probably refuse to buy one for my kid even if they pleaded but there's a world of nuance and debate around the "sexualization" of children and I'm not sure that Cameron or the Sun really trade in nuance.

i'm voting in a super-marginal lib/lab constituency. i've changed my mind to labour over the last couple of weeks because (i) lib will definitely win the constituency (ii) small gesture toward dampening the landslide narrative should the conservatives get a national majority. is this ridiculous?

no - go to it

Like I said, I think my opinions might be tempered if I was in a marginal. Your logic doesn't sound unreasonable caek.

i feel like i may have crossed the line from tactical to mental

Good campaign slogan. 2010 - TIME TO GET MENTAL

I can't vote in any of your elections, unless I decide to take UK citizenship. Pretty keen to hang onto US citizenship. I've seen that my vote matters in US context - one of my senators won by like 200 votes after a recount, remember? It just sucks that I can't vote for non-Federal state stuff as expat vote would have probably been the difference to nuke MN's idiot of a governor.

i thought you got to vote in eu or elections. i guess that is only eu passport holders? (or i may well be making it up.)

My constituency is Bethnal Green & Bow, therefore I will basically be satisfied with any outcome as it can only be an improvement over George Galloway. Nationally I am hoping for a hung parliament so that maybe, just maybe the Lib Dems can force through some kind of electoral reform. Tories are a complete shower as per. Listening to the shit that was their manifesto made me more angry than I have felt in some time and I'm normally relatively apathetic towards party politics.

I believe you have to be EU or married to one to vote for mayors and MEPs (Tracer will know for sure).

Pretty sure US citizens can't vote in any UK elections. You have to be Commonwealth or EU.

I just feel that if you vote, you're a citizen and if you don't, you're a subject.

im a civilian yo [via 'starship troopers']

'via'

i'm voting in a super-marginal lib/lab constituency. i've changed my mind to labour over the last couple of weeks because (i) lib will definitely win the constituency

still pissed off at whoever saw fit to recarve Oxford from 1 urban* Lab constituency + 1 suburban Lib constituency to 1 marginal Lib vs Lab mishmash + 1 suburban and rural quite possibly Tory one (oh please god don't) tbh

* if anything in Oxford counts as "urban"

(which also makes me wonder: Cameron promises 10% fewer MPs? which ones, I wonder?)

and rural quite possibly Tory one (oh please god don't) tbh

^^^ pretty sure this is so not going to happen.

http://imgur.com/uuVds.jpg

Well, I like the Lib Dems' creative accounting. If they can bring back that Robin Hood, they'd surely get another couple of billion.

btw if Nick Clegg's wife were an ILX poster, she'd be Moka

why?

- feisty
- Spanish
- girl

bring back dom

hmm, just got my student loan annual statement

aaaaaand that's when the idea of voting labour goes the fuck outta the window

kind of forget that owe a shit tonne of money most of the time

i don't open mine any more. i consider it bad luck.

paying 3.8% vig apparently

good thing im earning significantly more than non-graduates... oh right im not lol

the student loan company seem to have forgotten about me, so I guess I should be voting Labour with aplomb.

heh i risk garnering more suggest bans with another 'lol british' comment.

how is HE paid for in ireland?

^^^ open goal if someone wants it

xxxxp you should vote tory, iain duncan smith's promising no top up fees iirc.

man i need one of those "debt counter" things for my house, calculating how much more i owe this government of thugs, morons, and unelected fraudsters each day

xxxxp you should vote tory, iain duncan smith's promising no top up fees iirc.

oh burn... i'd better vote labour after all

what is the solution to this problem, nrq?

how is HE paid for in ireland?

― caek, 15 April 2010 12:03 (4 minutes ago)

I dunno, it wasn't me anyway. You pay administration fees of about €750 a year but tuition etc is free. Just about everyone I know qualified for a maintenance grant that refunded the admin fees too iirc. It's been a few years.

what is the solution to this problem, nrq?

― caek, Thursday, April 15, 2010 1:07 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

idk they could "bail out" the indebted instead of lining the pockets of bankers and the arms industry?

buy fewer CDs

way ahead of you

charging HE to somewhere other than general taxation started before the banking crisis. it's not like it wouldn't have happened otherwise. totally opposed to bailing out me, you, bankers or the arms industry.

i support the general principle of the cost of first degree HE falling on its users rather than general taxation though, so we're probably speaking at crossed purposes here.

to darragh - what about money to live on? Tuition is free in Scotland too but my big piles of (hopefully dissolved) loans were spent on me and me alone.

maintenance grant of about 3000 for anyone whose family income falls below defined limits (again, just about everyone I know qualified, tho i didn't get it for two years for fairly ridiculous family reasons)

i support the general principle of the cost of first degree HE falling on its users rather than general taxation though, so we're probably speaking at crossed purposes here.

― caek, Thursday, April 15, 2010 1:17 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

users nuh. beneficiaries maaaaybe. idk, everyone else gets subsidised, so why not students?

let's see how it plays out, inequality-wise -- kind of feel like imposing the fees was a classic boomer move.

everyone else gets subsidised, so why not students?

sure, and 5k/PA loan + 3k/PA fees << cost of undegrad education.

Classic boomer move = removing an opportunity enjoyed by boomers, perchance?

ya-hah

those guys are dicks, agreed.

Cameron and Clegg are the last of the Student Grant generation so the former's family would have had plenty of extra dosh to pay his Bullers dues. Sad, isn't it?

reminds me i shd check in on what dangerous anti-fees protest dude will straw is up to

haha

crush on Clegg's wife here too

What, were student grants not means-tested when Cameron was uni-age? Blimey.

Cameron's 2 years older than me? Apart from that being depressing, grants were def means-tested when I was at uni.

I remember people were able to claim housing benefit and dole when not in term-time, but that ended late '80s, yes?

ladbrokes will give you 20/1 for "fire up the quattro"
http://sports.ladbrokes.com/en-gb/politics/2010-uk-general-election/debate-specials-e213505549

ah shi, I never bet but was seriously tempted when I saw the 'what will they say?' a couple of days ago, but it makes more sense now. 'Immigration', for example, was at evens. Riches slipping through my fingers.

I'm going to actually watch escapist C4 telly tonight and then do the Newsnight recap, as I hate ITV.

I figure this is going to be a snore, I'm gonna go to the pub and hope to read about the surprise fist-fight in the morning.

LOLLLLLL Mandelson just doing ballroom dancing with some OLDS on C4 news.

lived with al4stair st3wart's son until a couple of years ago. heard him say some v. problematic things in: re: jim rosenth4l's religion during the grand prix once, and am hoping for that to come up should israel be mentioned tonight.

"him" = alastair, not the son

Cameron's 2 years older than me?

Huh, I am the same age as this man.
http://info-wars.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Nigel-Farage_1409002c.jpg

I have been dying to ask Mr S. Reyn0lds about his college take on Schmindie Dave.

LOLLLLLL Mandelson just doing ballroom dancing with some OLDS on C4 news.

― show us on the doll where the hotdish was served (suzy), Thursday, April 15, 2010 7:18 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

right?

shit yeah, grimey was at BNC wasn't he?

I'm going to watch the first half hour of the debate, then I'll be switching over to watch Children of Men at 9pm.

HIMYM is on at 9.30 so

stewart really is awful

Jesus what is with the retro set?

cameron looks like he's going to shit himself

At least it isn't Trevor McDonald

cameron looks like he's going to shit himself

precise words that I just said to the other half.

lol, they forgot to turn on Gordon's mic.

what does "jobs tax" refer to?

The National Insurance rise, I bet.

"black man"

yep

RACIAL PUPPETRY~!

he looked like he didn't enjoy saying that

"40 year old black man" wtf?

I WAS TALKING TO A BLACK MAN

brown benefits from having a better voice, really, right of the bat

i mean, cameron went to eton and oxford, we all know, so why this weedy, mid-range voice?

"right off the bat", i should of wrote

Gordon Brown has been speaking to people. He should maybe mention that some more.

cameron rattled by clegg or am i imagining things?

got 40 yr old black man at 33/1 from ladbrokes so I'm up some money

lol

cameron rattled by clegg or am i imagining things?

― caek, Thursday, April 15, 2010 8:44 PM (18 seconds ago) Bookmark

he's certainly rattled

forgot that he actually worked for itv once (kinda)

his suspicious lack of facial hair/features also a problem for me

cameron rattled by the "black man" thing I think

where's the worm? would have liked to see the reaction to "40 year old black man"

who talked to a black man?

clegg doing pretty well in 'sure you have no idea who i am but fuck voting for these two, aimirite?'

"i was born" well done question asker.

cameron talked to a 40 year old black man iirc

how long is this? Wondering how long Cameron can keep in check his instinct to be a smug bullying prick when he smells blood

Gordon just did the exact face from the election poster for half a second

brown is starting to make me nervous

brown chuckling for no reason and writing stuff down

jon stewart style

Pourquoi?

talking over the others during immigration + giggling NAGL