Living in a redneck, white-trash, hillbilly neighborhood - Advice?

Just purchased my first house. It's a real fixer-upper and we have a lot of work to do before we move in. We are of limited financial means and had been hunting for a while, so we jumped on this one when the opportunity came up. I knew going in that the neighborhood was a little bit country. It has become increasingly apparent to me however, that a lot of the population are what John Waters has refered to as "extreme white people." Do any of you ilxors live in redneck neighborhoods? How is it working out for you? Any tips or advice? I'm a little worried. (Please note that I'm about to go into a meeting and won't be on this thread again until later)

time to go native imo

move to a real city

i can't imagine what advice you're expecting to find on your return

what state r u in

get over yourself

start thinking of you neighbors as your neighbors

be nice to them, let them be nice to you, avoid getting drunk with them and when opinions get uncomfortable work out a way to leave without being shrill.

serious advice is just keep you lawn moved and mind your fuckin business

I hope your neighbors chase you back out of the neighborhood.

and don't be like, "oh hey, you like Tim McGraw? Well I think you'd really like DRIVE BY TRUCKERS"

Need more deets imo. There's "my neighbors have NRA stickers on their pick-ups" and then there's "my neighbors get drunk and shoot at targets/in the air in their side yard and their under-fed, half-feral dogs howl at raccoons all night".

this is like rural burt stanton

any flags?

"hi, i'm i'm a hipster with big dreams of gentrifying this neighborhood. what can i do about the savages who lived here before me?"

also yeah maybe just be nice to them and learn the delicate art of communicating with people you disagree with

oh boy, this is going to be fun

get over yourself

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, January 11, 2010 10:51 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

having lived in the burbs, you can really go years without talking to your neighbors. its not like on TV where everyone meets on the corner and waves through the window.

buy a dog

plant a garden

build a fence

it's not???????

buy 5 dogs

paint your house

paint a dog

build a mailbox

punch them all in the face and tell them it's a customary greeting where you grew up

All the guys my age that lived around when I was a kid had guns, most got them for around 13th-14th birthday from their dads. They used to tell me if they saw our cats, they'd shoot them (they probably wouldn't have, but I didn't know that when I was 14). They also liked to tell stories about blasting away songbirds (which is illegal) and putting the resulting raw burdy flesh under their babysitter's pizza. Which probably also never happened but c'mon, at least pretend to be a human being.

So maybe I'm just a tiny bit sympathetic. Maybe not, though!

CAN YOU ALL SHUT UP SO I CAN POST FOR A FUCKING SECOND GAWD

i wonder if some wrestling forum right now has someone posting about "some hipsters just moved into my neighborhood. what do i do?"

wash your car

burn a flag

have a baby

go to the doctors office

get a raise

"he was bringing in all these crates of records and what looks like a gun rack but you keep wine in it"

take your family out to dinner

give them all gift baskets of hummus and pita

write a novel

join a softball league

http://annenahm.com/anneimage/2009/11/Michael+Jackson+Jackson_popcorn.gif

buy a suit

Fly this flag in front of your house:

http://rlv.zcache.com/gay_pride_american_flag_poster-p228905582827518799tdad_210.jpg

Porky-Pig it whenever you cut the grass

mow your lawn

shingle your roof

lock your windows

go to home depot

just be yourself :-)

In my experience, these people appreciate politeness. If you always address them by their correct title of "redneck white trash hillbilly extreme white person", then I'm sure you'll get along just fine.

start a book club

put speakers on the outside of your house that blast "Ventolin" by Aphex Twin at 3:30 in themorning

be white

buy a spare bus pass

take lots of photos

build a fire pit

buy a charcoal grill

invite your black friend over for MLK day

take piano lessons

buy 5 dogs

― everyone stop (dan m), Monday, January 11, 2010 10:58 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

I see this in suburbia now quite a bit. All the dogs are different breeds but all are kept entirely outside the house. Its like they buy dogs as lawn decorations.

watch American Gladiators SHUT UP

subscribe to a daily newspaper

take a weekend trip upstate

wash your hands before you eat

stand up straight

start a swingers club

watch American Gladiators SHUT UP

― mdskltr (blueski), Monday, January 11, 2010 12:03 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i wish those guys would ever shut up

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/kingofthehill/images/8/83/Khan-souphanousinphone.jpg

Just purchased my first house. It's a real fixer-upper and we have a lot of work to do before we move in. We are of limited financial means and had been hunting for a while, so we jumped on this one when the opportunity came up. I knew going in that the neighborhood was a little bit country. It has become increasingly apparent to me however, that a lot of the population are what John Waters has refered to as "extreme white people." Do any of you ilxors live in redneck neighborhoods? How is it working out for you? Any tips or advice? I'm a little worried.

hang Klan robes out on your laundry line once a week

keep your thermostat at 68 degrees

take care of yourselves, and each other

Mark your territory.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/32/88220987_63e2029aac.jpg

be nice to them, let them be nice to you, avoid getting drunk with them and when opinions get uncomfortable work out a way to leave without being shrill.

^^^^^^^

I live in a close suburb of Cleveland populated largely by African-Americans and Orthodox Jews. My mother and sister live 45 miles away in a town where people who have never been any farther south than Marietta, OH, have COnfederate flag stickers on their trucks. (I also grew up there.) This is excellent advice.

shake ya tailfeather

take care of yourselves, and each other

win on both levels

stay on the internet, where people understand you

discus pitchforks

call your parents

never leave the house without wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt

get a cat

live the dream

bring boiled arugula to every potluck

do not get a cat, whatever you do

ilx troll "local garda" is trying to throw you off

learn some pickin tunes on the banjee

learn their ways, teach them some of yours. write it all down and turn it into a heartwarming script.

follow my advice and only my advice

spraypaint racist graffiti on your house in the middle of the night and complain bitterly to your neighbors about it the next day

ignore all other posters on this thread or you will be dead by tomorrow

invite everyone over for vegan feast

watch the sunset

marvel at how well sigourney weaver has settled in just down the road

must be damned near a record for 100 replies coming up?

learn to sing "surfin bird" with your anus

smile to yourself

key party.

take a weekend trip upstate

he's describing upstate!

ok this should be obvious but just in case: if anyone comes to introduce themselves, invite them in and offer them food and smile a lot.

do tai chi on yr lawn every morning

ask them to vote in your metal poll

drink chai tea on your lawn every morning

invite them over to play Rock Band but limit the selections to the Doolittle album tracks

ask them to dance on your metal pole

communicate in origami

poo clouds

loud public anal fisting

hang a flag from a different Middle Eastern country every week in your front yard

breathe in deeply

were all just joking there its literally nothing you can do that will not result in your death

write a book about your experiences with living in a redneck, white-trash hilbilly neighborhood for one year, and the lessons you learned

nickname all of your neighbors "Tits <surname>"

signing that deed was effectively signing your death warrant

(posthumously)

write a book about your experiences with living in a redneck, white-trash hilbilly neighborhood for one year, and the lessons you learned

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, January 11, 2010 11:18 AM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

EDIT: write a blog about your experiences with living in a redneck, white-trash hilbilly neighborhood for one year, and the lessons you learned, then parlay this into a book deal

go on a zombie rampage

i dont know why im posting when you are probably already dead

act like you're going to tell a funny, Jeff Foxworthy style joke that starts with "you might be a redneck if" but instead of delivering a punchline, just stare at them directly in the eyes

approach the strongest male in this "pack" and beat him within an inch of his life. then you become him.

act out a few domestic disputes

decorate your car:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/46/179496703_1c1901be1c.jpg?v=0

get all of them pregnant, including the men

i like how you researched the area before you bought a home

Shit in a bag
Light it on fire
Open the door
There's a bag on fire

sit in the garden after a hard day's work and say "that was a hard day's work" to nobody in particular...."yep...a hard day's work".....then slowly walk back inside

become their Jim Jones

talk loudly about your bicycle commuting

i sometimes wonder what wrong steps i took during my life to accidentally buy a house in a what i consider to be a redneck, white-trash hillbilly neighborhood.

squint into the distance and shade your eyes whenever someone comes up your driveway, which is only 20 feet long

call them on their cellphones and say hi

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/images-3/redneck-toilet.jpg

speak french

cultivate topiary in the shape of a swan

a swan giving head to an 8-year-old

i don't see what you all are laughing about

buy a trucker hat

talk about guns. remember, tho, that a .45 man and a 9mm man will never see eye to eye. good luck!

we are laughing because a poster on the internet died as a direct result of his decision to move to a neighborhood he was bound to dislike

take up knitting

this is no laughing matter

travel everywhere by segway

never laugh out loud

it is sad, kkvg's meeting was actually the meeting where the townsfolk choose who to sacrifice so that this year's crops don't fail

so i guess its more tragic tan funny, but lemons --> lemonade ---> great way to introduce yr kids to the neighborhood and to capitalism

TRAGIC TAN FUNNY

lifesize cutouts of kevin costner in every window visible from street

every time you visit a neighbor's house, change their homepage to lemonparty.org

think of the neighborhood as a "fixer-upper"

organize a neighborhood john waters film fest.

serve chili with dogshit in it.

burn everyone a copy of merriweather post pavillion, which they will probably like because it's animal collective's "pop" moment

think of yr neighbors as fixer uppers

you are there to fix them, up to respectable human standards, or die trying

"check out her buttresses"

proudly display yr vinyl copy of MPP in the front window

i'd say burn everyone a copy of "the state vs radric davis," but gucci is such a populist rapper that they probably already know about him.

kkvg, how far to the nearest actual civilization?

burn everyone a copy of the state of texas v. lawrence

http://www.civ4.com/pic/Civilization4.jpg

there is no civilization in amerikkka

so ... berlin?

convince your spouse that you should move to brooklyn, scrape by on your meager earnings as a music writer, and continue living the rock and roll lifestyle well into your 60s

the phrases "git r done" and "much clown love" can sub in for about a third of what you'd normally express in english

(btw have you ever looked up "lemon party" on Wikipedia? o_O)

btw how did hillbillies get their own neighborhood? did you accidentally move to a hollow?

I believe it's pronounced "holler" tbh

i think it's spelled "holler"

shit

build a hillbilly themed mini golf course in your front yard

get rid of all your shoes

omg shoes

i know guys but i didn't want to create a code-switching kerfuffle

yeah i'd say if there were no ACTUAL hills around "them parts", you may have misjudged "where'n" you are

1) get rid of shoes
2) get pregnant

the phrases "git r done" and "much clown love" can sub in for about a third of what you'd normally express in english

― chartres (goole), Monday, January 11, 2010 11:36 AM (44 seconds ago)

hahahaha

3) start a code-switchin' KER-FLUFFLE

fyi hillbillies call buses "lorries" and elevators "fags"

make your own pies out of fruits and pie crust

MODS: please start "I Love Rednecks" board for Mr Kong

is max still going

I think the zombies got him

whittle a chair out of wood

redneck zombies

he's talking about california, now

buy a dyson vacuum for those hard-to-reach spots

sculpt a chair out of yer own chewin' tobaccy

marinate your chicken overnight

in chewin tobaccy

keep the skillet good and and greasy all the time time time

start smoking your pork at 7 am every Saturday during College Football season.

maintain a stack of coupons from the sunday paper on your kitchen counter, even 4 shit u will never buy

make friendly 'gay joke' to new neighbour by using the phrase 'smoking your pork'

practice your enunciation

sit in your house, shades shut, heat on, and think smug thoughts about the people who surround you in their homes. cast judgement on them: what they do for a living, how they spend their free time, if they shop at Wal-Mart or not. condense these thoughts into posts on a message board.

go weeks without logging onto the internet

get half an hour of aerobic exercise a day

invite all of your neighbors to this thread

when u do go on the internet, download and learn the floorplan of the closest walmart

when local vandals snap the head off of your goose lawn ornament, place a small American flag in the hollow neck as an act of defiance. (TRUE STORY!)

buy an reo speedwagon shirt ASAP

lol speedwagon

be a terrorist

build a mysterious shed that smells like cat urine

then blow it up

make disparaging remarks about Memphis BBQ sauces and deride them as 'yankee'

count your blessings

times are hard

waste not want not

never fall in love

shoot skeet

learn choice bible quotes to escape judgment from not attending church on a regular basis

trade in your turntables and guitars for a large jug with 'xxx' inscribed on the front and join the local band

lawn ornaments are pretty key. but remember, a man's house is his compound.

recycle

encourage your children to read

become a Benjamin Franklin impersonator. . . just because Ben Franklin was a righteous motherfucker. find a killer gingersnap recipe and go from door to door, handing out free samples

buy a button-making machine, and make buttons

skeet skeet

talk about his sister like that

buy laurel's old dune buggy

volunteer

in the army

start your own army with the neighrborhood pets

spread rumors that you resisted the come-ons of a well-known neighborhood hussy. this will endear u to the upstanding ladies of the community.

we're such a good support group

buy a Prius

1. Built meth lab.
2. Sell to the locals.
3. Make enough money to move out of the neighborhood.

learn 2 line dance

gay marry

rant to anyone that will listen about what the queers are doing to the soil

unironically extoll the virtues of "natty light"

To avoid the awful odor of cooking cabbage or onions, add a lemon wedge to the pot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi00Jx92-Zs

When cooking noodles, bring required amount of water to a boil, add noodles, turn heat off and allow to stand for 30 minutes. This prevents over boiling and the chore of stirring. Noodles won't stick to the pan with this method.

stand outside someone's shed and grumble in a raspy voice, "What's he building in there?"

In the summertime, keep several towels in your car to throw over the seats and steering wheel to keep hands and legs from burning when getting into a hot car.

introduce all your neighbors to "Cooking With Coolio"

'Heineken? fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon! amirite guys?'

how many replies, to the nearest hunnerd, is kkvg gonna get back from his meeting to?

make sure you wife knows you find her beautiful and sexy

turn your car into KITT by adding a row of red lights that move back and forth, paint your car black, and buy a curly wig. go around from door to door introducing yourself as Michael Knight, and ask people if they have a crime that needs solving.

walk a mile in your neighbour's shoes

buy several pounds of beef and wrap it in white towels, then furtively dispose of the towels in the curbside trash when you know neighbors are looking

if there's grass on the field, play ball

just do it

wait none of this is good or practical advice

second place is the first loser and other no fear slogans

third prize is you're fired

save your guy harvey shirts for special occasions

invest in no more than two clip-on ties

cut a hole in the box

set off fireworks in your front yard all year around, sometimes in the middle of the night

50 lbs. corn meal
200 lbs. sugar
200 gallons water
12 oz. yeast
10 lbs. bran (optional)

make sure you know what you want before opening the fridge

conversation material is pretty standard, but proxemics are important. the most intimate and peer-building relationship between two men is when you are clutched so tight that you are touching wieners.

When cooking noodles, bring required amount of water to a boil, add noodles, turn heat off and allow to stand for 30 minutes. This prevents over boiling and the chore of stirring. Noodles won't stick to the pan with this method.

wait does this really work

sick of timing noodles tbqf

if you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool wet sack. And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can't stress that enough. Don't just throw it out the window.

organize an elephant walk

have you had sex with an animal?

i'm not saying you should or shouldn't one way or another, but, just, have you?

Face tat. The wife's can be more discreet.

learn the times for dinner specials at the local cafeteria. memorize them.

keep a cool wet sack around

Face tit. The wife's can be more discreet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sieQshfuFco

at 4:20, smoke weed every day

floss

burn a single digit into your lawn. this will be some kind of nascar thing.

host a meeting at the elk's lodge

wait does this really work

i stand 100% behind everything i c&p from random websites iirc

switch off your television set and go out and do something less boring instead...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp9PhhTCIUc

succumb to alcoholism

overcome alcoholism (thru christ)

find a pen pal

finish every sentence with the name of a bible chapter. For example "of course i'll bring the wife around for that. 'and so they should eat squirrel meat and drink moonshine, for that was the true representation of the body of christ: luke 24:16'"

overcome christ thru alcoholism, kick dog

overcome alcoholic dog, move forward 6 spaces

refer to them as 'irl neighbours'

beat galaga at a movie theater on one quarter

put "DIK" as your name for the hi score

burn their houses down

The great unifier: The Allman Bros.

I really want to know what part of the country kkvg is in

eat more vegetables

two words: freebird

buys wagons, circle them

tell them how you thing godard's alphaville perfectly expresses wellesian expressionism.

tell them how your thing got hard, perfectly expressing wellsian expressionism

send them a link to this thread

make them cupcakes with bacon in them

ask them for their thoughts on simon reynolds

send them a link to this thread

print out this thread, then pick out a likely looking lad and start teaching him to read good

explain p4k lists and their inherent sexism

sit down with your family and draft an emergency plan in case of fire

confess to new pals over beers that you don't actually like hitting yr wife, but instead prefer that she hits you, in the balls

show them your bottleopener. gauge reaction.

dj a wedding. play "butterfly kisses" for the father-daughter dance. "accidentally" mix in dj deeon's "baddest bitch". give back the $100 you were paid and apologize profusely (see if you can work in a 'i was pranked' excuse). wait until you get to your truck to lol.

btw u drive a truck now

start growing vegetables in yr grassy bit outside the house; explain the the natives what vegetables are and how photosynthesis works

xp u do not reach ur truck imo

preface your thoughts on Swayze's "Black Dog" with "sorry to be such a Morbs"

grow a giant bean stalk in the backyard, climb it, never return

after several exhausting hours, give up explaining to yr neighbours how photosynthesis works

nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure

talk about the money you're bringing in from the new client at the bank, refuse to elaborate, ask about their sex life

dress like this to be both indie and redneck at the same time

http://www.readingfc.co.uk/javaImages/65/7c/0,,10306~3505253,00.jpg

if a local extends an offer for you to swing on his biggity balls, do not accept. he is mocking you.

get involved in local government

speak with wide eyed wonderment/fear/fevered lust about the jewish people you met in the big town

nickname everyone 'boomhauer'

discuss different possible ways of assassinating the kenyan the people in sexcriminalboat call president

Wow. I'm so sorry. This was a dickish and offensive thread to start. I'm operating on v. little sleepand have been bitter and stressed all day. I'm glad that some people have been able to make this thread fun by making fun of me. I'm going to go try and take a nap or something and readjust my attitude. Sorry again. Peace.

aw

http://www.edwardsamuels.com/ILLUSTRATEDSTORY/chapter%207/creedence.jpg

The greatest unifier

make every day creedence friday at the warehouse

305 posts in between beginning and response

take nap outdoors covered in newspaper and midge repellant; do not jerk upright when engine backfires or they will know

I was reading bits of this thread to my wife until I realized that it was making her pretty goddamn furious. (I'm still getting plenty of lolz though)

make potato farls

start callin skeeters midges

haw WmC which parts were making her furious?

Plz say it was mowing the lawn while Porky-Pigging

complain about chigger infestation

consider joining an organization that reads to the blind

(i didn't get the porky pigging ref tbh sorry for irish)

make the lyrics to 'truckdriving neighbors downstairs' by beck your AIM signature

i don't know what porky-pigging is either

sit down with your family and draft an emergency plan in case of fire

― max, Monday, January 11, 2010 12:22 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://www.pixagen.com/storage/b3s/FFFFFFUUUUUU.jpg

WmC's wife, just now

is it wearing suspenders w/ no shirt?

talk to you neighbors only on AIM

WmC's wife, just now

― everybody's into weirdness right now (gbx), 11 January 2010 18:34 (43 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

is it wearing suspenders w/ no shirt?

― harbl, 11 January 2010 18:34 (35 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

jeez that's just inappropriate

oh, it's wearing a shirt with no pants. for some reason i remembered it backwards.

install carbon monoxide detectors as mandated by law

btw u have a truck now

lol @ this thread

lol darraghmac

also see this critical thread: Porky Pig Style

what is so scary about rednecks?

haw WmC which parts were making her furious?

Well she grew up very poor in rural Mississippi and has a chip on her shoulder the size of a monster truck re: class issues, so pretty much everything I read. The fact that I was laughing pretty hard didn't help. This seemed to be extra sandpapery:

the phrases "git r done" and "much clown love" can sub in for about a third of what you'd normally express in english

― chartres (goole), Monday, January 11, 2010 11:36 AM (56 minutes ago)

nothing imo, they're just like you and me

coach a little league team

my neck is more of a dark taupe

Well she grew up very poor in rural Mississippi and has a chip on her shoulder the size of a monster truck re: class issues,

lol @ sneaking this in there

tell her we're sorry ;_;

there is a friction there between us, i confess

actually I looked it up, "sandy taupe" is most accurate

I am absolutely not mentioning this thread to her again, and I hope she doesn't feel like searching it out on her own.

also i'd honestly replace that monster truck with something more sensible, given this economy

have family dinners as often as possible

Wouldn't take long for her to find.

Results 1 - 10 of about 62 for redneck shartin'. (0.28 seconds)

I was reading bits of this thread to my wife until I realized that it was making her pretty goddamn furious. (I'm still getting plenty of lolz though)

― wanna be shartin' somethin' (WmC), Monday, January 11, 2010 12:31 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark

reading any amount of ilx to anyone not 'in the game' would probably annoy the shit out of them, word to the wise

My wife greatly enjoyed the bottle opener thread.

leave out a box of fried chicken and when asked why just smile and wink

is that the only point where redneck neighbourhoods and cricket matches overlap?

mention in passing at the local bar how the sound of crickets goes 'right through you'

move back

breakfast nook and/or breezeway

collect lightning bugs in a jar and walk around the neighborhood, going from house to house, opening the jar once you are granted entry to a house, dispensing tens of thousands of hugs around your redneck, white-trash, hillbilly, neighbor's, house, and then, once the hugs are given, and accepted, take out your net, gather the lightning bugs, and move on to the next house.

garland of truck nuts

dance like nobody's watching

too bad I slept thru this thread. LOL

What is a redneck? The problem with the term "rednecks" is that people think they are a social group or phenomenon, when they are really just individual people who live stereotypes.

I've been to so-called "redneck" neighborhoods and the truth is that there is really one "redneck" for every five or ten or twenty people, the rest are just poor or working-class or maybe they are just cheap.

It is no different than "ghetto". People call certain types of black neighborhoods "ghetto" when a minority of residents fit the stereotype.

ew just one redneck would be enough tho surely (shudder)

I've been to so-called "redneck" neighborhoods and the truth is that there is really one "redneck" for every five or ten or twenty people, the rest are just poor or working-class or maybe they are just cheap.

Yeah, that's pretty much how it works out. I was just a little pissed off at seeing confederate flags on a few pickups and meeting some unusual neighbors.

It's not a bad neighborhood. But I was hungover, missing sleep, and spent the whole weekend doing house repairs. All of which had me feeling not myself on Monday morning. I'm really embarassed about starting this thread.

Really embarassed. (for emphasis)

don't worry, comedy enabler

:) it was a classic thread, i'm not sure there's huge lingering bad feeling attached.

xp!

there's something so exquisite about when somebody misspells 'embarrassed', especially in this context - it's like the twisting of a knife

lol

there's only one 'ass' in embarrassed iirc

so, santee or lakeside?

Ha! I don't live in SD anymore, but thinking about Lakeside brings back fond memories. : D

make every day creedence friday at the warehouse

Always a good idea wherever you are

lol at this thread

good laughs everyone well done

get over yourself

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, January 11, 2010 4:51 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark

that's a note to self by the way

There needs to be a hall of fame to house threads of this caliber.

the important thing to remember when moving to a redneck area is dont become the mayor of anything on foursquare until yr new neighbors get comfortable w/you - wait at least a year - they take that shit real serious

dumbest mohawk dude being a jerk at the coffee shop can he get any worse?

You may find the above thread useful as a communication field guide to your new neighbors.

and they should be neighbours on the forementioned hall of fame tbh.

Okay, I hesitate like hell to revive this thread, for all the grief and derision it has caused me, but I finally moved in a couple weeks ago and felt like it deserved an update. First let it be said that much of my trepidation was unjustified. Very few of my nearby neighbors have camo-colored pickups with Confederate flag stickers in the window. One lady two doors down drives a Prius and gathers rainwater from her gutters to water her garden.

May I just say of my immediate next door neighbor however:

1.) The "exicans*" have taken all his buddies' jobs
2.) This country wouldn't be in a recession if "the other guy" had won. ("Hillary?" I was tempted to ask.)
3.) Today we were watching his kid while he was out for a while. In the interim, about sheriffs cars rolled up and proceeded to bang on his door for about 20 minutes, eventually arresting the guy's tenant/roommate (wanted on a hit-and-run charge). When I went over later to tell him of the fracas and to assure him his son was alright, he commented "I might need help carrying all his stuff out and throwin' it in the back of his truck there. I don't need that nigger around here." Dude was white.

So this is the kind of dude I have had no experience with socially that led me to start this thread in search of advice. Just to give you guys a concrete example instead of an imagined bogeyman. I still don't exactly know how to interact with him. I can't like, treat him like a fuckhead or anything obviously. I can't tell him that my bartender, my manager, and I will not tolerate et cetera. I just don't know.

*I've never heard this term before. Have you?

Offhandedly mention how you and your partner love to go rollerblading together.

He will leave you the fuck alone. Also, what state are you in?

the way you deal with every other asshole. be polite, nod along to his ridiculousness, and make fun of him behind his back to your significant other/the internet.

He will leave you the fuck alone. Also, what state are you in?

He is my next-door neighbor and our kids play together every day! Obviously he feels comfortable using the N-word in front of me. Gukbe's advice is probably close to being what I have to do and is essentially what I'm doing now, but hell! Dude actually just felt straight up comfortable using the N-word in front of me!

Also, Maryland.

Obviously he feels comfortable using the N-word in front of me.

I should add that I feel this indicates he is miles away from leaving me alone.

what do you think the odds are he'll be using that around the kids?

10000%

really can't imagine it's worth it to let your kids play with his

ya. may want to have a conversation with your kids before dude indoctrinates them.

xpost

did you move to aa county? maybe he's the kind of person that if he gets hints you are liberal he will start not to be so "friendly," like if you asked that he not say stuff like that in front of your kid

really can't imagine it's worth it to let your kids play with his

And also 1000% impossible not to let them play together - they get along really well. I guess I'll have to have a convo with my kid at some point.

xpost: This is AA county!

don't know much about it i just hear stories and comedy accents at work

Does he intimidate you? If not, why don't you tell him you don't feel comfortable hearing that word? Otherwise you're kinda being complacent in his racism. (If you legit feel intimidated it's a different situation entirely.)

Things are mostly good though. We love the house. It's a much much better commute to work (elsewhere in the county for her, DC for me). I like being near the water. And it's not like everyone around here is like my neighbor, but there are people like that and it's just new and weird to me.

Otherwise you're kinda being complacent in his racism.

huh?

There's a huge history of racism being perpetuated by people being too polite to correct their friends/associates. (See Gregory Peck films.)

Well yeah! And therein lies my dilemma - I don't want to be too polite to correct his racism. I CAN'T be too polite to correct his racism. But as I grew up in a wealthy, ethnically diverse rainbow of a neighborhood, this has just never come up. Guess I gotta just be like "Dude, don't talk that way around me."

There's a huge history of people getting a can of whoop-ass opened on them when they try to confront their racist friends/associates. (see every film set in Mississippi)

xpost

Have a friend who bought a house in a crappy area just so they could get a house. Now he's putting sound proofing up against adjoining house walls and gets comments because he doesn't look/dress.
Wouldn't it have been best to wait rather than put oneself in this situation, especially knowing the area wasn't the best?

If you've got a diverse neighborhood then the guy isn't confused that using that word isn't appropriate. I mean, how many people are alive today who don't realize using the term is inappropriate and might be offensive to some people? That's kinda a battle long since past. I can't imagine he'd take it too badly (of course I don't know him) if you just said gently, "Hey, that word kinda offends me. Could you not use it around me?"

Oops, look/dress like neighbours!

xp: Word, that seems like its being direct enough and soft-pedaling it to the right extent.

it's pretty obvious he knows it's wrong, i bet he's just testing to see what kind of dude you are

xxp: yeah, I can't wait for sweater season : )

at this point, you probably won't change this dude's opinions about black people (and tempted though you might be, you shouldn't even try -- you can't be Saint Francis of Assisi). but like others say, you CAN say that you don't appreciate him using the "n" word in your presence (or any other racial slurs against black people that he may use from that point onwards).

FWIW, my younger sister went through something like this herself when she moved to Hanover, PA. she was flabbergasted when she saw Confederate flags and that sort of thing at a bar not far from her house. she had also had black boyfriends growing up and went to college in Baltimore -- and while nowhere is free of racism (certainly not the town where we grew up), she never had to deal with it in such an in-your-face manner.

strangely enough, though, she later told me that a lot of people in the town were very enthusiastically pro-Obama during the 2008 election. all anecdotal, i know, so make of that what you will.

I still don't exactly know how to interact with him.

well ffs don't talk about politics around people you don't know well.

also, you're talking shit about this guy that you don't even seem to know.. the hell are you afraid of?

I had a friend who moved to Annapolis and was shocked to find that everyone on her block subscribed to the Washington Times.

You said he used the 'N' word to describe a white male, so I bet to him the word has nothing to do with race, but everything to do with character. I'd say just don't talk politics, and if he brings it up just don't engage him.

This is a grown-up, an adult, and he's still using this term. From my own experience with adults that rail about mexicans and n****rs, you aren't going to change their mind by confronting them. If you think it's "being complacent in their racism" then you must not have much experience talking with racially insensitive people.

I'd say I have experience talking with racially insensitive people. They were all over my undergrad institute. And when one of them said something racially reprehensible, I asked them to knock it off.

You said he used the 'N' word to describe a white male, so I bet to him the word has nothing to do with race, but everything to do with character.

was just about to type this.

no idea why people are saying you're not going to change his mind, since you never said you wanted to - obv adults who talk like that are going to be set in their ways.

my big concern would be to make sure my kids don't pick that up - from him or his kids. could maybe start by asking if he talks like that around the kids? maybe he might get the hint? really tho - he sounds like a douche and douches can be unpredictable.

xp to Adam, I don't think asking him to stop using the word will magically change his mind on whether it's appropriate or not. he might very well think you're an asshole. but if he stops using it around you, that's one more space where he's not using it. that seems like a net positive to me. especially if it means you don't have to hear it again.

Advice?

Make friends of your neighbors, based on commonalities that have nothing to do with cultural signifiers, but rather the fundamentals of human kindness, mutual aid, and emotional truth?

I wouldn't ask him if he talks like that around his kids, but I would ask him not to talk like that around your kids.

lol @ whiney itt

You moved next door to my dad?

Maybe you misheard him.

I like Aimless' approach.

Good points all around. I'd try hardest to follow Aimless's advice and have a talk w the kids!

lollin @ myself

act like you're going to tell a funny, Jeff Foxworthy style joke that starts with "you might be a redneck if" but instead of delivering a punchline, just stare at him directly in the eyes

― ke$nan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, January 11, 2010 12:19 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LOL. Thanks for the constructive advice, everybody. All I can do at this point is see how it goes from here.

I like how a sherriff has arrived to haul a guy off next door to your house and the biggest concern all round is that someone's used a racist word.

^^^^

terrific thread from an awful premise

I like how a sherriff has arrived to haul a guy off next door to your house and the biggest concern all round is that someone's used a racist word.

Well, the sherriff bit was incredibly alarming! I had already known that the tenant was in trouble with the law though, so it wasn't a surprise.

I hadn't let the kids play inside all day because my wife and I were unpacking and didn't want them in the way. I was bringing in some stuff through the garage when five cars pulled up and a bunch of guys with badges jumped out. One of them started running up to my front door because he hadn't heard the address correctly! It was altogether uncool.

Uh yeah this is not sounding wholesome at all :/ Mind you if this guy gets perm hauled off maybe peace will reign?

I hadn't let the kids play inside all day because my wife and I were unpacking and didn't want them in the way.

Oh, I didn't finish this thought: "...so I had to round them up real quick which was really confusing for them, because up til then I had been the mean daddy who wouldn't let them inside to play with toys and then all of a sudden I'm like 'Okay kids, guess what? It's time to go inside now!' And my son was all like 'but dad! I'm a knight and I have to fight off this dragon!' and I'm all like 'BOTH OF YOU GO INSIDE NOW!'"

Aww poor kids! heh. I remember when I was a wee kid a couple of incidents that, in adult hindsight, I've gone "wait... wtf was THAT all about?" and never found out.

they'll be ok. If they're tods they're probably too young to process anything weird.

Otherwise you're kinda being complacent in his racism.
― Mordy, Monday, May 31, 2010 7:22 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I think the word you want is "complicit."

lol, yeah, thanks. that was an oversight.

I promised LJ the other day that I would give an update to this thread. I don't feel like writing it all out at the moment. Here's a small tidbit.

The neighbor kid comes over the other day with a DVD and holds it up to my wife, asking "Can him watch with me?"

It was Saw II.

My wife got down the street to dish the dirt one of the longstanding residents of the neighborhood.

This past March, the guy two houses down from us had his heat pump stolen from his yard. According to newspaper reports, "The wires and tubes connecting the heat pump had been cut and two wheel tracks "as if made from a dolly" went from the concrete slab where the heat pump had been through the backyard to the road."

What didn't make the news was that the culprit was the guy who lives in between us and the victim. Police apparently didn't arrest him because the victim couldn't confirm the serial number.

This whole story as a means of explaining the huge fence that the victim built this summer.

I don't live in a "redneck" neighborhood, but there are a few "rednecks" in the vicinity. One time the police showed up at my house to complain that my car was parked "illegally" (down the street) and it wasn't even illegal, its that there was a time limit on how long you can park your car there. They were nice about it, but I suspect the neighbors complained because it was parked near their house.

I think they don't like Jews, they hang out on their front porch drinking beer and making veiled remarks like "hey pinhead" "hey dweeb", and I am half-Jewish and a lot of my friends are Jews.

bake them a pie. this will require them to step up their game.

if you complain about a neighbor's car being parked in front of your house ... you just might be a redneck

I love this neighborhood now. I feel awful for starting this thread. At least it was funny.

act like you're going to tell a funny, Jeff Foxworthy style joke that starts with "you might be a redneck if" but instead of delivering a punchline, just stare at them directly in the eyes

― ke$nan (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, January 11, 2010 5:19 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink