I wonder sometimes if I am the victim of a malicious rumour

15 years ago, I was an 18-year-old boy in England. I was popular at school, but mainly used to hang out with one boy, my best friend, who I had known since we were nine. Unfortunately, this boy and I had a sensational falling out whilst on an out-of-season holiday in Portugal.

It's almost amusing looking back. We spent the whole two weeks screaming at each other on a deserted beach, really angrily, like an old married couple. I said things I regret. Not searingly shameful things, just a couple of things about his mum, who was always quite fussy about knowing where he was. He said equally hurtful things in return.

When we got back from holiday, his dad picked us up in his car, the journey was quiet, and then I was dropped off at my house. That was the end of our friendship. He never returned my calls, and we haven't spoken since. Shortly after the holiday, I noticed that all my other friends, too, went cold on me, although I didn't mind for long as I started to make new friends at University.

I recently joined Facebook, and searched, as you do, for old friends. Many of my old school friends are now Facebook friends. I haven't contacted anyone since school, and so I decided to write to three different friends from that time, not requesting that they be FB friends, just wanting to catch up initially. One wrote back a very detached reply, its tone letting me know that my fondness for our time at school was not reciprocated. He ended his missive with "good luck", which for some reason I found quite hurtful. Another wrote back answering all my questions but being careful not to ask me any about my own life, leaving no room for me to reply. He was apparently not at all interested in what I had been doing with my life. Another, a girl who I thought would remember me affectionately, just ignored my message.

I am genuinely at a loss. I was not the nicest dude at school, a bit cocksure to be honest, but so were lots of my friends. I can't see why I am being slighted by my past. I sometimes wonder if my old friend said some unfair or untrue things about me, because I know that he saw a lot of my old friends after I went to University. But how can I find this out? Or is there any point? It just makes me feel a bit low...Help with perspective would be welcome!

Get the hell out of here and never come back, Grant Singer.

http://www.lysator.liu.se/nanny/clubs/socks/sock.jpg

I wonder sometimes if I am the victim of a malignant tumor

brianblessedmanthefuckup.jpg

grant did u try to put it in his butt or what?

tell the truth now

http://www.catanna.com/deut_blessed.jpg

the hipper the puppy, the bigger the lols!

the cuter the puppy, the bigger the awwws!

― kshighway (ksh), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 1:33 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark

WHILST

the first three paragraphs sound like a great first chapter to a novel actually

that's a cat not a puppy

whoopes sorry wrong thread rofl lmbo

loling @ iiiijjjj

Get the hell out of here and never come back, iiiijjjj.

I hope that was copy/pasted.

You're 33. Forget about them and continue to live your life.

>the first three paragraphs sound like a great first chapter to a novel actually

Chapter one: THE BOARDER

He came to our place one Sunday in November 189–.

I still say 'our place', even though the house no longer belongs to us. It will soon be fifteen years since we left the neighbourhood, and we shall certainly never go back.

We lived on the premises of Sainte-Agathe upper school. My father (like the other pupils, I called him 'Monsieur Seurel') was in charge of both the upper school, where they studied for the teaching certificate, and the middle school. My mother took the junior class.1

A long red house, with five glazed doors shrouded in Virginia creeper, at the far end of the little town; a huge courtyard with shelters and washing places which opened at the front towards the village through a large gateway; on the north side, the road beyond a little barred gate leading to the railway station, three kilometres away; to the south and at the back, fields, gardens and meadows, with the outskirts of town beyond them ... There you have a sketch plan of the dwelling in which the most poignant and anguished days of my life were spent, the dwelling where our adventures ebbed and flowed, breaking like waves on a solitary rock...

Thanks for that perspective, iiiijjjj. I suddenly feel well adjusted and blessed. Really, you have made me see that it could be a lot worse. I could be a dribbling imbecile like you, which thankfully I'm not. I will take Mordy's sage advice.

lock thread

grant's story inspired don henley's boys of summer

u should fake your own death and then attend the funeral in a disguise, eavesdropping on the mourners, and find out what ppl ~really think of you~

a separate peace of ass

Grant, good luck and get the fuck out.

I would like to remind a bunch of you that the "don't be a dick" posting guide is still in effect and I, for one, am not particularly shy about banning people who act like assholes.

Knock it off.

who shows up on a message board they've NEVER POSTED ON before with such a query?

Who fucking cares? What points are you scoring by being an asshole about it?

xp cutty - yeah, kinda creepy imo - but we can say that another poster is creepy without it constituting being a dick, right?

dan, i understand your concern, but anyone who is being a dick here is doing so with the belief that this is not a real person

http://grantsinger.com/

cutty otm

The OP is really weird and out of place, but I love how every single new poster is automatically assumed to be a sock.

but anyone who is being a dick here is doing so with the belief that this is not a real person

Why automatically make that assumption, tho?

The OP is really weird and out of place, but I love how every single new poster is automatically assumed to be a sock.

― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 12:28 PM (33 seconds ago)

http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/museum/oroboru.jpg

^^^

hahahaha

lock thread

― kshighway (ksh), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 3:19 PM (11 minutes ago)

sometimes I think there are only 5 actual people that post to ilx and every other poster is a sock.

oops. wrong account.

lock thread

― kshighway (ksh), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 3:19 PM (11 minutes ago)

― kshighway (ksh), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 3:31 PM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Whoa.

itt help w/perspective wld be welcome

whoever Grant Singer is he writes very well. the post is really quite evocative!

i quoted myself, tbf

dan, i understand your concern, but anyone who is being a dick here is doing so with the belief that this is not a real person

Yes, I get that; my point is that is not a particularly good reason to be a dick towards someone.

If you can't distinguish between posts like this and posts like "britney can i get your sister email why because she look intersting", it's time to take a posting break, in my opinion. Aggressive snark 94/7 is nagl.

'tis probably wise not to seek validation/redemption thru facebook - either build a time machine, or forget about it or eat some ice cream.

I would either forget about all this and leave it behind (the best option) or alternatively find out the truth by whatever means neccesary, track down your ex-schoolfriend and kick the shit out of him.

all i did was ask if there was any homoeroticism involved whilst away on holiday

fwiw, if you are real, grant singer, your art is wonderful! i hope you find happiness in life and on the internet.

maybe Grant Singer is Hi Dere's sockpuppet?

the work entitled precious etc got a lol

we ah doo-lee appointed fedewah maw-shahs

wrong thread

no, that seems properly placed.

we can say that another poster is creepy without it constituting being a dick, right?

― sarahel, Tuesday, February 16, 2010 8:26 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark

indubitably so

we ah doo-lee appointed fedewah maw-shahs

― ('_') (omar little), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 8:45 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wrong thread

― ('_') (omar little), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 8:45 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

no, there is no thread where this statement is wrong

the fox is guarding the henhouse

i enjoyed the original post.

what is a "sock." i'm not up on new internet terminology.

socks aren't exactly new internet terminology.

Main Entry: sock puppet
Function: noun
Date: 1959

1 : a hand puppet made with a sock
2 : a false online identity used for deceptive purposes

what is a "sock." i'm not up on new internet terminology.

Someone on a message board starting an alternative account for pretending to be someone else for whatever reason.

2 : a false online identity used for deceptive purposes

i sort of doubt this was one of the definitions in 1959.

Maybe all those people you wanted to reconnect with just didn't like you?

i sort of doubt this was one of the definitions in 1959.

DARPA was pretty advanced by then.

lol amateurist i missed you.

Oh, I know, Am. The date is less important in that post than the fact that definition 2 has made Webster's.

Sockpuppets in the news:

For about eight years until last August, the company confirms, Mr. Mackey posted numerous messages on Yahoo Finance stock forums as Rahodeb. It's an anagram of Deborah, Mr. Mackey's wife's name. Rahodeb cheered Whole Foods' financial results, trumpeted his gains on the stock and bashed Wild Oats. Rahodeb even defended Mr. Mackey's haircut when another user poked fun at a photo in the annual report. "I like Mackey's haircut," Rahodeb said. "I think he looks cute!"

"new" internet terminology

hey, i never heard it until yesterday, so it's new to me.

xpost

ha i read that article! i don't remember them mentioning the word "sock" though.

bashed wild oats?

the tipoff is usually when someone makes an OP like this and then NEVER POSTS AGAIN IN THE THREAD.

but he did post again.

someone make a gif of a sock eating itself for future use

i enjoyed the initial post and have a very similar story to tell. One day I had friends and the next day they treated me like I had the plague. I have no idea what happened. Could it have been the color of my socks?

I wonder sometimes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yivRfmuuJO0

I was not the nicest dude at school, a bit cocksure to be honest, but so were lots of my friends.

i wonder sometimes if there isn't more here

just saying, how about the threadstarter is a real person, they know how often ilx threads show up on [search engine] and his plea (& two hundred posts of paranoid snarknbait) will be the first thing that shows up when his former schoolfriends want to see if he's finally been convicted of abducting that girl in portugal (or w/e)

also i'm thinking haneke to direct and it will be tepid shit

cocksure, funny word

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object2/94/117/n315671595144_753.jpg

this dude looks pretty cocksure

I don't really understand why snark is the first thing we sometimes go to around here. Granted, why a 33 year old is asking people he doesn't know about his paranoia regarding people he hasn't talked to in 15 years, is equally beyond me, as is why he would still be bothered to care though I suppose he may want some kind of reassurance or something. I usually refrain from threads if I have nothing constructive to add, unless it's just to inject some levity and I am wary of judging people's motives when I have so little information.

I'm callin it sock. A cursory glance around this place would indicate that it would likely not be an especially welcoming place for such query, & the level of prose in the post suggests that the dude is not a total rube. Grant Singer is no NAthaniel.

maliciously cocksure

I am feeling nostalgic for the days when we allowed posters to establish a personality before ruthlessly attacking them for discernible reason.

I fear those days are long gone.

some of them will never establish a personality, how long must we wait

Good point

to be fair, the sock-to-beloved poster turnaround is pretty swift these days. pretty sure kshighway is going to be made a sitewide mod later this week.

very much appreciate the outpouring of support

one post is not an outpouring sock

aw look it's Que

http://www.facebook.com/pages/SAVE-OUR-SOCKS/189675169124

que ess highway

^^ makes you think

i mean, ^^ i wonder sometimes

i sometimes wonder if i'm a sock

my sock has wondered that too

the soxth sense

que i just checked and you are, sorry you had to find out this way

to ease the pain, here is this:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3164/3280605496_a2b85e357d.jpg

hey, it's a reality check!

wait i'm a sockpuppet of a golden retriever

this means i can pee wherever i want doesn't it

what kind of monster puts socks on a puppy

Ask a puppy

otm

I keep reading this as 'victim of a malicious tumor" then thinking of Arnold's rebuttal.

it's not a rumour

yessssssssssssssssssss

XD

kindergarden sock

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/bidensockpuppets.jpg

L-R: kshighway, Mr. Que, Grant Singer

i wonder sometimes if i am the victim of an accurate report.

Les chaussettes de l'archiduchesse sont-elles sèches, archi-sèches ?

i thought harbl was a sock

i dont get it

grant you have the velveteen poppage of a dandy fop

15 years ago, I was an 18-year-old boy

15 + 18 = 33. Grant Singer is our Lord and Savio(u)r Jesus Christ.

is he the second coming of l0u1s jagg3r?

where is lou1s now? is he gone from the board? i detect a j@ggeresque tone to this fellow's prose

Isn't he studying or something?

louis wouldn't do his sock laundry here

why not?

http://www.lisisoft.com/imglisi/9/Miscellaneous/45842detective.jpg

he's comfortable in his own skin

no shame from that lad

he's also comfortable in a dress, that's totally irrelevant to the sock impulse imo

maybe it's a stocking puppet?

maybe all that studying caused lj to knit his brows and then he ran with it until grant singer was the result.

maybe he doesn't have anything else to do now that the decade polls are over.

where is lou1s now? is he gone from the board? i detect a j@ggeresque tone to this fellow's prose

― El GarBage (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 6:11 PM (10 minutes ago)

thought the same thing tbh

A sockpuppet? in MY message board? Its more likely than etc etc

it could be a class assignment? write an article about social networking. ilx an obvious goldmine for hacks too lazy to make up quotes.

this dudes writing does not sound like LJ imo

LJ is way more verbose and florid than this gentleman

well, he wouldn't it to sound too much like his own writing if it was his sock puppet, right?

lol

yeah that's what i'm saying max it's not exactly like LJ because LJ wouldn't be trying to be LJ he would be trying to be like the sockpuppet!

SO THE MERE FACT THAT IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE LJ PROVES THAT IT IS LJ!

james angleton up in this bitch

we shoulda been nicer to "Mr. Singer" as tomorrow's his birthday

SO THE MERE FACT THAT IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE LJ PROVES THAT IT IS LJ!

OMG, he's trolling from inside the board!

LJ is the kind of dude who will never be able to sound like anyone but himself

you're totally underestimating him max

jesus

LJ is the kind of dude who will never be able to sound like anyone but himself

― max, Tuesday, February 16, 2010 11:34 PM (54 seconds ago) Bookmark

he's been doing a course on how to write iirc

he's denying it's him fwiw

"omit needless stitches"

were you knitting louis's sockpuppet a sweater?

he's denying it's him fwiw

Phew, I can sleep easier tonight.

Sweaterpuppet is a totally different thing iirc

cant believe im the only one giving this dude sum useful advice

p fukken shameful behavior here

max knows it isn't louis

so what you're saying, velko, is ...

i'm pretty sure i know who kshighway is

― velko, Thursday, October 1, 2009 6:58 AM (4 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

?

; )

;)

in a certain sense, aren't we all socks?

who here isn't a sock?

i wonder sometimes if i'm the victim of an ambiguous emoticon

maybe it wasn't really him ;)

I am feeling nostalgic for the days when we allowed posters to establish a personality before ruthlessly attacking them for discernible reason.

OTM

sockspotting is such a sad little hobby - ppl come off like "here's a person we don't know - if I am the first to tell him to go fuck himself, perhaps I'll win a prize" or something. is there any reason not to apply a Pascal's wager kind of approach here: there is a possibility that this is a human being in need; what is the loss to us if we offer an honest answer and he's actually somebody other than who he says he is? very little; what, on the other hand, is the loss to him and to us if we attack him as though he were a sockpuppet, when he really isn't: worth considering imo. the worst that could happen is a regular says "lololol I can't believe you thought this was in earnest," in which case - I mean - is the fear of being "tricked" really so great that people are willing to risk having told a person in need "fuck you"?

is there any reason not to apply a Pascal's wager kind of approach here:

yes, this is an internet message board.

yeah I guess

depressing reasoning imo

^^real talk

the idea that someone who doesn't post here a lot would ask such a question to a bunch of people he doesn't know is hilarious to me--doesn't make saying "fuck yourself" justified, just saying

I am Garu's real gran. My name isn't Meryl and I am very upset to say the least. The real Garu may have his faults, but he is a handsome and well liked young man who never in his life did a poo or a wee in my flange or any other woman's flange that I know of.
― Gran G, Friday, September 30, 2005

like why doesn't this person ask a bunch of his friends instead of a bunch of strangers

none of his friends will talk to him?

Could it be that the only people stressing about omgz is it sockage for pwnage are perhaps guilty of indulging in their own ventriloquism on other occasions? Or a sad substitute for artfulness by the creatively blocked or bereft? My temptation is to say that if you are indulging in ILX overanalysis, CONGRATS for genetically engineering a monkey for your own back.

grant singer has clearly never heard of yahoo! answers

this thread has struck to the heart of ilxs own anxiety about its identity

could it be that we think it's funny to spread malicious rumours in a thread entitled "I wonder sometimes if I am the victim of a malicious rumour."?

Could it be that the only people stressing about omgz is it sockage for pwnage are perhaps guilty of indulging in their own ventriloquism on other occasions? Or a sad substitute for artfulness by the creatively blocked or bereft? My temptation is to say that if you are indulging in ILX overanalysis, CONGRATS for genetically engineering a monkey for your own back.

ummmmm

history mayne: Could it be?

i have never had a sockpuppet.

I was popular at school,

yeah no

http://s3.amazonaws.com/greenwala-attachments/production/attachments/2353/group_large/SOCK_MONKEY_DRESS_BACKPACK.jpg

if he never read ILX why would he ask us such a personal an unanswerable question for his first post? if he lurks ILX, why didn't he know there would be 100 posts before the first attempt at a serious response? isn't it some kind of internet golden rule to read a forum for at least a week before posting to it?

There's something very weird about the phrase 'malicious rumour' that I keep misreading it.
These are my favorite misreadings so far:
Malicious Murmur
Delicious Rumen

Nutritious Ramen

delicious demon--sugarcubes song

the poster is Bjork

Oh, silly me: swap out 'if' for 'when'.

Let's not get into the Paul Frank monkey for the back of the terminally style-challenged.

BRIAN YOU ARE FUCKING SHIT FOR NOT TAKING A PLANE TO FLY OVER TO REYKJAVIK IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR TRIP TO MAKE BEEYOOTIFUL MOOZIK WEET ME!
― Bjork, Monday, January 28, 2002 5:00 PM

the guy who started this thread doesn't write like Bjork

Bjork got Matthew Barney to post for her

I am genuinely at a loss. I was not the nicest dude at school, a bit cocksure to be honest, but so were lots of my friends. I can't see why I am being slighted by my past. I sometimes wonder if my old friend said some unfair or untrue things about me, because I know that he saw a lot of my old friends after I went to University. But how can I find this out? Or is there any point? It just makes me feel a bit low...Help with perspective would be welcome!

http://postdash.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/matthew-barney-c-31.gif

a good determinative factor w/r/t sockspotting is how quickly they show up on another thread--with a thread title that doesn't mention or hint at the topic--on another board in which their sock status is debated.

maybe they're just really bored and use Site New Answers

j0hn d. otm, yall are kinda depressing at times

I have one (1) sockpuppet

I like how a major indictment of this person not being legit is that they didn't post again (or twice more) in the thread, because, you know, being told to fuck off in the first post and then a 180+ message discussion about sockpuppets and the etymology of the word is really conducive to the question posed.

yeah, he's going to be surprised when he makes it back to the thread

if gear showed up with the couch story now, instead of six years ago, everyone - well, sarahel mostly - would be too busy sockspotting for any lols to come of it

Grant S-nger

if gear showed up with the couch story now, instead of six years ago, everyone - well, sarahel mostly - would be too busy sockspotting for any lols to come of it

― eau de humanity (haitch), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 7:15 PM (3 minutes ago)

truth bomb of epic proportions

i wasn't the only one calling "sock" here, why am I getting all the blame here?

I like how a major indictment of this person not being legit is that they didn't post again (or twice more) in the thread, because, you know, being told to fuck off in the first post and then a 180+ message discussion about sockpuppets and the etymology of the word is really conducive to the question posed.

― Department of Epidemic Prevention and Water Purification (S-), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 7:11 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

gawd quit lecturing me/us and just provide the poor guy with his desperately-needed "perspective" if you feel it is so freakin warranted already for sheesh's sake :)

newayz i got a hot chick waiting for me in my bed (meme) so i am seriously peacin on this thread, see yall wouldn't wanna b yall

bullshit, gear was a well established poster

love u haitch but it's not a good comparison

Mordy gave him perspective in one of the earlier posts, the "guy" said thanks. The rest of this thread is just us entertaining ourselves, and other people tut-tutting at our method of entertainment, this really isn't worth all the hand-wringing

i guess we're just glorified yahoo answers + handwringing now

i think it's fine to build a moat around our community, it's the internet, and it's fucking CRAZAY out there

i guess we're just glorified yahoo answers + handwringing now

― sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 5:40 PM (8 minutes ago)

and jjusten's dog

jjusten's dog is awesome

it was at the top of site new answers - nothing personal, in case jjusten thinks i'm baiting or attacking him again

the dog is cocksure

i still want the sock eating its toe drawring

nothing personal, in case jjusten thinks i'm baiting or attacking him again

uh what the hell?

it's sarahel's world we're just living in it

xp - dude you got pretty over the top defensive a few weeks back and made my dumb joke into some dramatic thing, that was totally not my intent. I don't want to start anything up again.

It certainly doesn't seem like you're trying to start anything.

who the fuck makes fun of another person's dog

on an internet message board for fuck's sake

it's sarahel's world we're just living in it

― call all destroyer, Tuesday, February 16, 2010 5:56 PM (2 minutes ago)

CAD isn't my sock btw

she was joking

facepalming

get a life

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fr44lIzC03k/SloLqmKjdlI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/K1b6dlqpo9E/s400/PoodleFest+001.jpg

everyone should be banned from this thread except for op imo

maxlicious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-__VV94ziiQ

song was so comforting to me when i was 16.

I kind of hate Depeche Mode but yeah, that.

I'm so glad I sleep during ilx's most active hours

I have no idea what happened here and did not read the thread but I too would like to express some love for that song.

dyao all coming in, surveying the wreckage

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/122/263588231_547497e8dc.jpg

http://bestlittlebookshelf.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/a-separate-peace1.jpg

http://www.lyc-cassin-gonesse.ac-versailles.fr/lectures%20conseill%E9es/bonjour%20tristesse.jpg

http://booklit.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/radiguet-devil-flesh.gif

http://www.yozone.fr/IMG/jpg/Le_Grand_Meaulnes_couv.jpg

When I was about 16 my bff made a mix tape and when "Blasphemous Rumours" came on the tape went all warpy and quiet and then corrects itself just before the song ends... creepy trufax.

dyao, is Le Grand Meaulnes as a ref to my quote from it upthread, or did you also get that vibe from the OP, or it just because?

Whichever: awes.

lol Bill A - also got that vibe from the OP. didn't actually recognize that as the beginning to le grand meaulnes!

all the books I posted were from a course I took called "first novels" where the prof tried to claim that first novels by authors usually shared common characteristics. a rather ludicrous idea, but the syllabus has really stuck with me, and all those books/the OP have a similar vibe. so maybe the prof wasn't so crazy after all

dyao, is a separate peace a reference to my "a separate piece of ass"

In real life, when acquaintances (or even strangers), despite their best efforts at spinning a narrative, tell me autobiographical tales that reflect badly on them, I render fair judgment in my mind but keep my true opinion to myself. If they ask me for advice, I don't respond sincerely, because, of course, that would be rude and pointless.

By contrast, when I am reading fiction and encounter a narrative voice such as that of the original post above, I understand, as an experienced reader, that the author expects me to recognize the voice as that of an unreliable narrator.

What I do NOT do, in either case, is treat disingenuous narcissism as a genuine cri de coeur, because compassion is worthless if it requires one to be stupid.

awww...

cutty a separate piece of ass
means you are probabaly dating a cancer
patient
in advanced stages. exercise upmost caution

(I meant none of that, btw.)

Ugh, I hate that feeling when old school buddies NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN.

Take heart, sometimes it isn't personal. Sometimes they are having a really bad time. Sometimes it is something personal that they don't want to talk about. Sometimes a family member is seriously ill. I have been on both sides of this, one time I felt rude about pestering a couple of people because I found out later that a parent or some other family member had died.

Another time I didn't want to talk to some old friends and I felt bad about it, because I didn't want them to think it was me, it's just that a family member was having serious alcohol problems and I didn't want to embarrass that person about it, so I just kept to myself until that person cleaned up their act.

I can't imagine this going on forever, unless the school you went to was really horrible. I have some old classmates who want nothing to do with my old high school because of some sex abuse stuff. I wasn't a party to it, so my memories look nauseatingly rosy to those people, I keep my mouth shut around them.

If someone i barely knew in primary school 30 years ago messaged me on facebook I'd probably ignore them too, tbqh. Theyre strangers. Why take offence? Who gives a shit about someone you played hopscotch with at age 6.

And I have nothing to do with anyone who i went to high school with either.

Not all of us had a great happy super fun time wish show high school era. If I could I'd go back in time and kick a lot of people square in the shins.

Especially since school-mates were people you met when you had the least agency of your life; it was accidental that you were thrown together and if you really want to stay in touch, you can. Otherwise, why bother?

what trayce said

I LOLder sometimes if I am the victim of a malicious EXCELSIOR!

a few thoughts:

1- he's probs upper-middle class British, which explains similarity to LJ.
2- he's a sock, for sure.
3- at the same time, i can sort of agree with HI DERE here. i was mean to kshighway at first, but that's only because i can be ruthless with younger people who still like Wilco (sorry about that, btw). otherwise, it DOES seem like a lot of new posters are assumed to be socks, which certainly wasn't the case when i first started posting in march of 2006.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WILCO

:)

just don't touch me.

pardon me?

joeks, daniel, joeks.

no worries!

Taking the OP at face value, I cannot imagine the FB friends who haven't replied or did not seem sufficiently interested in dialogue actually hate this guy. If they really hated him, they never would have added him in the first place.

I seem to honour roughly 50 per cent of requests from HS classmates; of the others, I bounce half and keep others in Friend Request Limbo. People kept their distance from each other for the first 10 years but Facebook prompted a flurry of back in touchness and Christmas drinking.

Wow, this thread is depressing. Glad to see a few people acting like people after the 100+ post lollercoaster.

So, yeah, all questions of why it happened aside, I can vouch for the fact that having a load of people who you thought were your friends suddenly give you the freeze-out fucking sucks. Particularly when there's no clear reason why the freeze-out happened and no one has the decency to discuss it with you. But this is the kind of thing that people do when they're in their teens and early twenties and haven't quite figured out how to have healthy relationships with others built on communication and respect. Given that, it's probably for the best to forget about what happened half a lifetime ago and try to focus on whatever good shit you've got going on in your life now. But I can attest to the fact that it isn't always the easiest thing to do in the wake of nonsense like that in your past. I mean, that one event from forever ago is the root of a lot of trust and intimacy issues I deal with to this day. I think it's also made me a lot more careful about who I involve myself with, as well, though, so I'm pretty happy to have a small circle of people in my life now who I love and trust implicitly. There's shit to learn from bad stuff in the past, but mostly it's just something to shake off and forget about.

OMG THE WORD 'SOCKS' IS IN MY DISPLAY NAME SO I MUST HAVE LOADS OF SOCK PUPPET LOGINS OMG OMG

Don't flatter yourself, ILX. Some people have lives outside of the internet.

So, yeah, all questions of why it happened aside, I can vouch for the fact that having a load of people who you thought were your friends suddenly give you the freeze-out fucking sucks.

Well thats as may be, but the OP says "15 years ago, I was an 18-year-old boy in England". He's talking about someone he hasnt seen or contacted for 15 years. I dont think contacting them now out of the blue demands instant OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEEEN IVE MISSED YOOOOOOOOOO delighted responses. In fact, baffled polite distance/silence seems more likely and normal, to me, after a 15 year gap!!

But, that's how I roll, YMMV, etc.

In fact, baffled polite distance/silence seems more likely and normal, to me, after a 15 year gap!!

Naw, I do definitely feel you on that front. I've been Facebooked recently by a couple of people that I went to high school with, and while it's nice to see that they're still out there and apparently doing okay, I haven't exactly felt compelled to arrange a group holiday or anything. I mean, there are loads of reasons beyond simple ill-will why people might not talk to one another for fifteen years and/or maybe aren't the warmest upon resuming contact after a fifteen-year lapse.

There are around half a dozen of us from one MN high school living in London: a writer, an architect, a PR, an ex-chef and an exec at YouTube (we are all in touch but one of these is a close HS friend, so some are more in touch than others). Plus two opera singers in Germany.

I have a bunch of family who went to the same high school or church or grammar school and they're on FB so I end up adding people even if I didn't know them well. Some people like to keep friends and family separate, I respect that. I do feel bad about people who feel distant from their families. But my mom, for example, is the type to remember everyone and ask about everybody from school anyway, so I have to keep up. Then there is the issue of my parents knowing someone else's parents so they get added. I went to private schools though so I feel safer adding someone from school.

Depends on where you grew up, some communities are close knit and if you were mean to so and so at a reunion everyone finds out about it, some people move away and don't want to talk anymore.

i only add people from high school if we're in the same area or still saw each other in college, which is pretty slim.

family is off limits on facebook, except the crazzzy cousinz. as in, NO ONE IN MY FAMILY OVER 30. there's too much weird shit about me floating around.

heh the majority of my close friends are HS related and i am lol old. couldnt give a fuck about the peeps i went to college with tho.

When you contact people that you went to school with, 15/20 years later, they are going to assume you are still that person. Or, that you have changed massively since then. (whichever seems the most fearful option is the one that gets picked)

haven't exactly felt compelled to arrange a group holiday or anything.

Ever since I met up with someone from school (back in the days of Friends Reunited) thinking it was someone else I have avoided this type of thing. The dawning realisation that the person sitting opposite you is actually someone you didn't really know at school is a bit weird.

^^^LOL Ken Yamagita in Fargo, where they sit in the hotel bar as it slowly dawns on Marge Gunderson that the guy she's met didn't know her much.

went to private schools though so I feel safer adding someone from school. UM WAHT, sorry us steel I don't normally highlight others' social insensitivity through the magic of C&P but whoa. My suburban public high school was better than the local private schools; many are.

Classmate reconnections to me always mention a) my choice of music and how it turned out to be prescient b) ditto, but with clothes c) lack of surprise about what I'm doing now. That's fine with me (I'm usually the person approached, not the person doing the approaches). The ones who were horrible in junior high have apologized. Most of the people I'm still in touch with do interesting things. My best friend heads a disability non-profit in DC, and someone I've known since second grade is the costumier on Glee. Someone else is a hard-partying kindergarten teacher. Another friend became a war-zone photographer and another has a landscaping company that does outdoor contemporary art projects - these are great things to be as an adult.

My cousins and I need Facebook so we can covertly fact-check bullshit stories our parents tell about each other. Family members such as uncles are on LIMITED PROFILE and I keep parents of friends and my mom's friends in confirmation purgatory. My mom is not really on the interweb, THANK FUCK, unless her stupid boyfriend has sent her a Breitbart fwd or some other right-wing hornswoggle.

90% of my Facebook friends are high school/middle school classmates and family.

What is "C & P"? Suzy, that may be true for you but I grew up in a lower class area where the "private schools" are usually full of working class kids and this is the only way they can get into college. I mean, all I am trying to say with my posts is that people have cultural and regional differences, in no way did I imply that my experience was definitive and I am so so so sorry if my comments offend. The realities are that anyone can attend a public school, and it's not as if I have NO friends who attended public schools, it's not that they don't like their school, but you know, ANYONE can attend a public school and some of those kids did some damage. You know, kids with criminal records and drug addicts and stuff.

If you went to a public high school with, like, 4,000 people, obviously you are not going to add old schoolmates. I am a real world person, it's not like I hate public schools and certainly wouldn't generalize based on my own experience. I am happy your public school was so wonderful, but what I hear from a lot of people was that they don't want to add just anyone because that is the nature of uh, URBAN, public schools.

Private school - you're more likely to feel comfortable with your former classmates. It's not a class thing or some social snobbery.

So did we ever establish whether the other dude spread rumours?

The rumours were probably spread on some kind of "internet" "message board".

One of the benefits of staying in touch, you can just e-mail or call the guy and confront him about it. My guess based on experience is that someone might have been jealous of their relationship and might be the one spreading the rumors? I am only saying this because it has happened to me a number of times.

Sometimes relationships go sour because of the people around the friends, someone won't grow up and doesn't want THEIR friend hanging around with you. Kind of childish but then some people don't grow out of this thing until well into adulthood.

I'm just kind of assuming that the OP lost contact, everyone moved on, and no one (or the 3) wanted to be friends again 15 years later because, well, it's 15 years later.

Either that, or the OP's holiday-argument-buddy spread rumours about the OP fucking a Portuguese whore to death on holiday.

^^^LOL

C&P = cut and paste. Other than that, u s steel, your explanation with its 'ANYONE can attend' (oh noes!) hasn't really dispelled my earlier concern, but am moving on. Unless the public schools near your childhood home are like the one where the ex-cop teaches in The Wire (and there are schools like that five miles from my old HS) I guess I find your viewpoint a bit strange.

I can understand feeling sad about it, someone lost a dear friend on a bad note. Too bad there were parents involved. If it bothers the person that much, they should, if possible, make an open-ended contact (it doesn't have to be online) letting the friend know that the conflict was regretted. They don't have to respond if it is too difficult, or if they are simply too busy or preoccupied. It might give that person peace of mind too. I don't think this is trivial.

The OP is dealing with two separate issues here - the close friend with whom he (or she) lost contact, and the people on FB who don't want to get back in touch. I'd say the first is worth worrying about, the second, well too bad for those people if they don't want the pleasure of your company. Cut 'em loose.

I don't understand why you misinterpret my "anyone can attend" remark. This is simply a fact. I hear it all the time from people I know who went to public schools. They simply do not know everyone from their old school. Sometimes there are two people with the same name attending the same school! I didn't say it was WRONG that anyone can attend public schools. If my "viewpoint" is strange, perhaps you ought to consider that having all sorts of highly visible careers isn't an option for people from my community - whether from public school or private.

Why would you think that the private schools near my home AREN'T like something out of the Wire? Again, many urban public schools are. By "urban" I don't mean "black" either, this isn't a race thing - these schools had problems when they were majority white, and this is the situation I am talking about with the people I know, not some racist "ghetto" stereotype. I am not familiar with that show, but an ex-cop teaching at high school would not be uncommon. That isn't to make some right-wing argument about the quality of public education.

haven't exactly felt compelled to arrange a group holiday or anything.

Ever since I met up with someone from school (back in the days of Friends Reunited) thinking it was someone else I have avoided this type of thing. The dawning realisation that the person sitting opposite you is actually someone you didn't really know at school is a bit weird.

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 18 February 2010 10:06 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^LOL Ken Yamagita in Fargo, where they sit in the hotel bar as it slowly dawns on Marge Gunderson that the guy she's met didn't know her much.

I'm amazed this doesn't happen more often. In my case they were both called Helen and I'd forgotten their surnames. Or rather I'd mixed them up in my head. Honest mistake and you'd think I'd laugh about it now but actually I'm still a bit embarrassed.

I am and was being sincere, however "creepy" and inadequate I might seem. Some posters instictively felt this, and I truly thank those people for offering their thoughts.

r u a lurker?

http://www.whale-images.com/data/media/2/orca-whale-breaking-surface_153.jpg

how did you come across this board and why did you choose this topic for your first post? just curious.

yahoo answers is a wonderful alternative for creepy queries to people you don't know.

I don't think his question was *creepy.* Just maybe asked of a too unfamiliar crowd.

internet

not too invested in grant's identity either way, but idk why:

a) as a total ilx noob you'd ask for the views of a bunch of total strangers,
b) as a lurker/person who knows ilx's MO, you'd post this qn without expecting exactly what happened,
c) as a sock, you'd bother with this...

"i totally clowned ilx by asking a question about facebook"

or alternately, "I proved what massive assholes these guys are by asking an innocuous question and looking at their responses"

proved to whom? anyone who knows ilx... knows ilx

a) as a total ilx noob you'd ask for the views of a bunch of total strangers,

I don't really think that is all that unusual tbh. I've noticed people relating very personal stories/tmi to people they don't really know in all sorts of contexts on the internet. And before ilx was registration only there used to be people randomly finding this place and posting all sorts of weird questions and information.

Grant Singer, this thread might be more helpful and less prone to devolution if you posted more than once a day.

I've noticed people relating very personal stories/tmi to people they don't really know in all sorts of contexts on the internet.

yeah, i guess -- what a crazy world we live in

it will remain crazy unless we make sure to let people know that posting personal ish for the comments of total strangers is not best practice

that is harsh but really though

http://blog.searchenginewatch.com/Running%20the%20Gauntlet%20in%201525.JPG

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1f/Sockpuppet-mugshot.jpg

yeah, i guess -- what a crazy world we live in

it will remain crazy unless we make sure to let people know that posting personal ish for the comments of total strangers is not best practice

that is harsh but really though

That might be, but we do have the individual choice to not idly follow the mob mentality and ROFLcopter the life out of every instance of guileless sincerity we encounter. Unless that's something you're really proud to contribute to and you want ILX to be like every other cesspool of a message board on the interwebs. There are plenty of lulz to be had 'round these parts which don't entail acting like a total douchenozzle.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081205165918AACCtVF

"mordy's sage advice" made me cry actual tears of lol, kudos to whoever's sock this is, shit is like that scene in being john malkovich imo

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3026537/

"Grant Singer" = "Grin Re: Angst"

This pile-on is pretty much the nail in the coffin of the good old ILX logged-out advice thread, which I've been missing since reg-only. Nosiness, schadenfreude and private ill-informed guessing at the real identity of the threadstarter, all good fun, and I got some real life advice out of them too.

(By which I don't just mean the ones I started - fairly sure there was at least one, but I can't even remember what it was about, whereas I've taken some advice on other people's to heart)

(Can relate to the OP's worries maybe a little too much - an imminent round birthday has had me dwelling on lost friendships, times I was an asshole, whether losing touch has been seen as me being standoffish, etc - but everyone OTM about possible other reasons for reluctance to catch up, plus just getting on with life, I guess)

There's a lot of parallels between primary school and penitentiaries -- you're not there by your own volition, you're thrust into alliances you wouldn't normally make, you can't wait to get out, and your old cellmate contacting you out of the blue sounds like precursor to Bad Things Happening.

Also, Mauritius Roomba.

The idea of creating a duplicate login for something as innocuous as that initial post seems bizarre and pointless enough to me that I have to assume that such an idea would only occur to those who've done as much themselves. J'accuse!!!

my primary school didn't feature rape and shivvings, so I don't think your analogy holds up very well

How about noogies and wedgies?

those did not feature in my prison

oh I've said too much

on the topic of the opening post, ppl who know you who believe bad shit abt u w/o ever bringing it up w/ u are bad ppl w/ broken souls

shivvings?

I wonder sometimes if I am the victim of a vermicious knid

funny think is the subject is in present tense... like he's still a victim

on the other hand, people who believe bad shit about you because their perspectives are skewed and they have no concept of how normal people interact are broken souls of their own sort

... i was mean to kshighway at first, but that's only because i can be ruthless with younger people who still like Wilco (sorry about that, btw). otherwise, it DOES seem like a lot of new posters are assumed to be socks, which certainly wasn't the case when i first started posting in march of 2006.

― begonia perineum (the table is the table), Wednesday, February 17, 2010 8:31 PM (Yesterday)

No problem, dude! (And, as an aside, I understand why people dislike Wilco. Personally, I still like 'em, primarily for the records they released between 1999 and 2005.)

i love how the title of the thread puts the emphasis on the paranoia rather than the specifics, like the thread was gonna evolve into discussion of everyone's paranoid delusions

I have never had sex.

Suggestions:

1. make a fake Facebook account (they don't check, so it's easy)
2. when creating a profile, use a name that is similar to that of one-two other people at your school from a yearbook that you knew but not very well (ie, if there was a Mike Andrews and a Jim Spencer, be Andrew Spence or something). This will make you sound 'familiar'.
3. When creating profile, input that you went to the school you went to as a child. Friend request others from the school that you don't really know first, then request one-two friends. At least one will probably friend you because they'll go "wtf is this person? ahh who cares accept".
4. If there is a group for your school on facebook, join it. or create one of your own.
5. Post there to gain everybody's initial trust, and stay on very neutral topics (ie, "HEY WASN'T OUR SCHOOL SONG RILLY GAY" or "REMEMBER THAT CHICK WHO FLASHED HER TITTIES IN THE YRBOOK").
6. After two weeks, post "whatever happened to Grant Singer? I tried to friend him a few weeks ago, but he didn't respond. Were the rumors I heard true?"
7. If they reply with a laundry list of rumors, send an email back saying "yea well u fucked half the school and don't hear me talkin bout it" and delete them as a friend.
8. If they say "what rumors", play it off as something innocent ('o i mean that he had herpes LOL').
9. Delete the account.
10. Live your life cuz petty bullshit is better to escape than revisit.

feel real bad about questioning grant singer now. he's proved himself an ilx mvp

This thread is like a symphony.

my favorite part is sarahel calling people out as sockpuppets for being precocious noobs

WHAT PART OF "SYMPHONY" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND???

All I can say is that maybe ILX would be a lot better if it had a few more guys like BJ Swells, and a few less guys like that people that forced him to leave.

Sorry if I'm overstepping my mark there, but still.

― Dom Passantino

Oprah hates Disabled People: Another Malicious Rumor

Oprah is one of most popular celebrities on earth. She is familiar to people all around the world. She is not perfect but some people are eager to carry out malicious rumors with this search in Google, ‘oprah hates disabled people’. This search is now in the number one spot in Google Hot Trends USA. This kind of malicious rumor originated a few weeks ago against Oprah and it died down very soon. However, it has again make a come back. It is clear that some people are not happy with her for whatever reason and trying to attack her name and fame. There is perhaps no way to stop this kind of rumor. The only thing the fans can do is to do some Google search and know about the whole issue. In her own life and career, Oprah had her fair share of controversy just like any other celebrity. However, there has never been any real accusation against her about hating or discriminating disabled people. In her shows, she has always championed the lives of ordinary people. The problems of women were neglected in main stream media in the past. The massive popularity of The Oprah Winfrey Show has perhaps helped to change this and women’s issues are now discussed and presented much more in the media than past.

grant did u try to put it in his butt or what?

― sir ilx-a-lot (cutty)

I wonder sometimes

― am0n, Tuesday, February 16, 2010 2:45 PM (2 years ago)

someone make a gif of a sock eating itself for future use

― sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Tuesday, February 16, 2010 1:07 PM (2 years ago)

i can't imagine that anyone has ever said anything about me that's worse than the truth

ilxchatz

poor Grant

In a nutshell, the story we are presented here is that Mr. Singer tried to contact some people he knew during his teens on FB after neglecting to stay in touch with any of his school chums for 15 years. Two of them respond, but not in a way that welcomes renewed friendship, while another ignores him.

This unanticipated response leads him to recall an unrelated incident involving exactly none of the three aforementioned people. He somehow draws the inference that this unrelated incident from 15 years earlier spawned "a malicious rumor" and this must be the reason why he is not being welcomed back into his chums' lives after a 15 year absence, like the prodigal son.

Cripes, Grant. Just go to your class reunion, get drunk and try to snog your old flame like everyone else.

i regularly get paranoid about this but usually i can push it aside with "thankfully i'm not that interesting."

6 years on, Grant is pushing 40 years old. It'd be interesting to know what perspective he has on it now. I also get paranoid about this sometimes.

Aimless's second paragraph seems uncharacteristically unbalanced to me as a summary and his third para provides uncharacteristically poor advice.

every so often someone abruptly disappears from my life and it's usually likely due to just the fact that we were only casual friends and your usual 'drifting' but my paranoia anxiety brain assumes that a juicy rumor about my criminal life has become known to people.

also lol at this thread

Hanging out with infamous Archfiend-worshipper King Diamond is no crime.

sarahell's sock.jpg got a lol out of me.

was a good'n

Since you're plainly working towards a Museum of ILX, what will its first temporary exhibition be?

Hen fap probably

after all these years i still dont "get" this

― homosexual II, Wednesday, September 15, 2010 5:03 AM (nine years ago) bookmarkflaglink