Have you ever been so devastated about a breakup that you considered suicide?

Serious question.

in b4 'first post hall of fame' bid

it's hard to know what "considered" means. even reading the word "suicide" sort of involves it, at the thinnest end of the wedge. so yes, no, i don't know.

I dunno dude. I haven't slept. Throwing the question out there. Like, consider as in, yeah THIS is a viable option.

well, yeah. i can relate. i had my people look into it, though, and long-term, it just wasn't practicable. i'd strongly advise against.

I can dig it. The worst though? When people use that "other fish in the sea" line.

ive never considered suicide, really, but definitely considered the whole... burn your house down and join the foreign legion. sort of the same impulse, maybe?

I wouldn't use the word 'viable' personally

no, but i was very badly hurt by one breakup. and then, totally unexpectedly, i met the woman who would become my wife. we've been married for 14 years, and i'm still in love with her. things can, and very often do, get better after a bad breakup.

if your question is describing your current frame-of-mind, i urge you to talk to someone quickly (irl). ilx is a wonderful site full of smart people, but i don't think it's an adequate substitute for the guidance of a professional in a situation like this. also, not to sound trite, but life is so precious and valuable, and there are (usually) so many reasons to be hopeful, even if it doesn't seem that way at a given moment.

Yeah. Maybe not the best word. Lack of sleep, depression, and the effects of valerian tea.

Thanks for that Daniel. Calming, to a degree.

kinda the same as max. have found myself wanting to take an extended break from being me from time to time, but permanently? nope.

and what daniel says.

I tossed the idea over in my mind once before a breakup. It was a torturous period where I could see that the relationship was definitely over because I was being treated like dirt but she kept me hanging on. But it was a fleeting idea that only lasted a few weeks, though it seemed much longer.

After we officially broke up, I felt a lot better. I was completely devastated and it took me years to get my footing again, but I went home and found comfort in my family and looked up some old friends. I'm happy I decided against it, that's for sure.

have been devastated by a breakup (but what HM said about yes, no maybe in terms of seriously considering suicide), but even if it's not something you can imagine or relate to right now i can't stress enough that it gets easier, and things get better.

btw forget the other fish in the sea bit, go for walks, a lot of walks, and read books, and just wait it out, its the only way to get over breakups really

Get a good sleep too, things always look better after that.

yeah fill your time, even if it's not with anything 'constructive'- read, walk, game, whatever just passes the hours for a while.

I watched an entire TV series. It helped. I went into total fantasy land for a while and when I came back up for air, some of the bad feelings had dissipated.

Hang in there SPC. Have you got any friends or family close by who you can hook up with?

not the sort of guy to think about suicide but have been the object of major concern for ppl close to me who weren't completely sure of that. I don't know what to say really because nothing anyone said at the time helped at all, but I feel you and one day you will be someone who doesn't feel like this.
but, walks were good, going home and doing simple stuff with my dad was good, I'm glad I didn't sleep w/ anyone and now I really think it was a nietzschean sort of good for me.

I say 'good', I mean 'not awful'

I always took breakups real hard even when I was the one initiating them - felt so bad and such a sharp sense of loss, and loads of shame/guilt over not being able to make things work - know how you feel, can assure you that by this time next week everything feels much better. For me it was important to allow myself to always really experience as much of those hard painful feelings as I could - they are rich even though they're unpleasant in the extreme; there's bounty of a sort in them, however hard to bear they are. for me that's true, anyhow. small tasks & meager distractions (tv, crosswords, around-the-house tasks) are godsends IIRC. but me being me I usually spent the first 2-3 days luxuriating in my own suffering. you can take the Catholic out of the Church, etc

I don't know that I ever considered suicide, but I did sabotage myself following the breakup of a 3-year relationship into drunkenly flunking out of college (GPA: 0.6). Two years later, I was married and we're going on 19 years. So things do get better.

as stupid as it sounds just investing yourself in a totally distracting and semi-long-term project, even just watching an entire run of a tv series, helps. every now and then your heart will sink and you'll feel like you are choking, but then you can just go back to the stupid shit you were just doing and won't get stuck in some downward spiral.

initiating a breakup can feel WORSE tbh - the guilt

ie the difference between feeling pitiable and horrible

^^ reason why I feel trapped right now

I've done a lot of things that could really be chalked up to self-destructive behavior, although I don't know if I ever consciously considered suicide.

I think the key for me was to get away from anything resembling the situation I was previously in. The world is a lot larger than you think when you're feeling down.

Distractions good.

Companionship of friends good to take yr mind off it, but don't feel the compulsion to find new partners etc - if you felt yr partner was cramping your style regarding seeing friends or doing your natural alone-self hobbies, this is a great time to enjoy those again, as long as you can just let it be fun naturally and not an obligation or a competition against your old self

Try to keep to something approximating a daily routine, i.e. remember to go to bed and not become nocturnal even if you can't sleep too well and you get hooked on your chosen distractions

(or, put another way, staying up late arguing on the internet and playing Flash games = easy mind-blanking time-filler but more than a night or two of that is a bad headspace, reading a book - a nice simple trashy book is fine, this is no college assignment, car chases and page-long chapters or whatever keeps you reading instead of thinking - and going to bed at a sensible time makes me feel like a better person the next day).

Oh, and good luck, hope things pick up for you - it's pretty much certain they will eventually, but I hope it happens soon.

What worked for me when my 12-year marriage ended:

Take care of yourself: eat right, exercise, do something productive. Vegging out with a little TV okay, but I (lifelong closet musician) started practicing more and then going to open stages, which led to meeting new people.

Thanks for all the responses.I am doing my best to keep it together, but it's getting increasingly hard. I think that the main reason this is destroying me so fucking much is the NATURE of the breakup. Tons of slimey lies involved, things that shocked the fucking hell out of me. And because of suspicions...I did something I probably should not have done. Snooped. My Lord, the treasure trove I discovered.

dude i went through (what i can only assume was) a very similar situation years ago, and it was awful. but as consolation i am so incredibly glad to have that rotten person the fuck out of my life now in retrospect that i can at least say that in the future this may appear to be one of the better things that could have happened to you.

not to make light, but whenever i'm devastated by break-up type shit, i smoke hella weed and watch Back to the Future.

full disclosure because why not: 5 year relationship, was fucking one of my roommates on the sly for months (who also managed with her help to scam us all out of a ton of cash and bail on bills/deposit/rent in order to move directly in with her the day after we broke up), married him 6 months after our breakup. more awful stuff. but you get the jist.

this is like the worst advice ever, and it probably shouldn't work for anyone, but getting blind drunk with old friends helped me out a lot, sad as that might seem.

Have you ever been so devastated about a breakup that you considered suicide?

Yes, and I'm SO FUCKING GLAD I DIDN'T. Do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to feel OK or at least OK-ish, and you will.

^^^ this advice is 1000% more important than anything else tbh

never really considered suicide, but definitely well acquainted with the misery. it really took me about a year to 18 months to get my shit together after the divorce. one thing i'll say, not to be too upbeat about it, is that that period had an awful lot of good things about it. there was all the pain and anger and doubt and everything, but there was also meeting lots of new people (because of going out all the time because i didn't want to be home alone), reconnecting with lots of old friends, taking time to do things i'd wanted to do but had never gotten around to (a lot of hiking, for one thing -- anything outdoors is good tonic, i think). all of which sort of laid a new foundation so that by the time the last waves of awfulness finally crested, i had sort of arranged a whole new life for myself without even really meaning to or thinking about it. i even finally started teaching myself guitar, which i had meant to do for years. so, i don't know. "try some new things" sounds like pretty lame advice, but it worked for me.

yes, go outside. even if it is shitty where you are right now.

this is key for any type of major depression i've found.

sitting around the house and wallowing can be therapuetic in small doses, but you gotta watch it, because next thing you know it's a year later and yr life has fallen further apart in key ways that go beyond relationships. (i.e., things like "how did i lose my job?" or "why am i drunk all the time?" or "i think i had friends once?" et cetera.)

5 year relationship, was fucking one of my roommates on the sly for months (who also managed with her help to scam us all out of a ton of cash and bail on bills/deposit/rent in order to move directly in with her the day after we broke up), married him 6 months after our breakup.

My boyfriend's story: 7+ year relationship, ages 16 - 24. Same high school & college, moved to another state after college & lived together. He semi-supports her financially. Then she announces, sans explanation or preface, that she is breaking up with him and moving out in a month. Mutual friends support her much more than him. Six months after she leaves, mutual friends accidentally let slip that she had been having an online affair with another dude for months before the breakup and that she had moved out to be with the online dude (in Canada). Six months after that, he discovers a DVD-R of their lame sex chats, including stuff like "Is [boyfriend's name] asleep?" Six months after that, he gets an email from an unknown man: "Please call me, we need to talk about [ex-girlfriend]." He does not respond. Two days later he gets two phone calls from an unknown phone number in the area code he and she both moved from after college. He does not answer or respond. Today, two years later: "Fucking bitch." He lived to love again and so will you.

P.S. She never fucked him in 7+ years. She was saving it, or something, and he was cool with that.

i've felt like this before but only in a completely narcissistic way; like you'd only kill yourself to make them think twice about hurting you in the first place. it's all about finding ways to get back at someone without actually harming one's self imo. in my experience, completely ignoring that person and forgetting they exist works quite well

Nope, nor have I felt particularly miserable as I recall. I was just apathetic in the sense of going through the motions for four months or so. Looking back, I feel relieved it didn't work out. A break-up is actually something that happens for a reason, it's a pretty good teacher actually.

Watch 500 Days of Summer if you haven't already, a bad movie that makes a good point nevertheless imho.

will probably revive this thread once me girl gets fed up with my shtick, it's nice how supportive and sweet everyone is. one thing i feel immensely is the shittiness of any pressure to 'get back in the game' or have rebound sex or something.

nah, nobody's worth it. my last recent breakup did get me drinking a lot and acting very abnormal but you have to watch even that...

I know it's probably one of the most annoying sayings to hear, but "you can never go back" is true. You can't. HOWEVER, it's probably a fair assumption to make that you had a pleasant life before you met this person and, if you didn't, it was at least a liveable life. Take comfort in knowing that it's completely possible to exist in this world without including this other person in your day-to-day experience. Also, learn more about yourself from this. Self therapy.

A few interesting things to add. Well, you guys might find it interesting. One of the reasons I am so crushed about this (well, more than crushed) is that this particular female was, for my money, the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen. I mean, my physical ideal. Some Weird Science shit. Superficial I guess, but it's true. In terms of the flesh, MY FUCKING TYPE IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY. A liar yes. But a fine one. One thing you might need to know? She's 21. I'm 31. The fact that I'm getting older, have been-there-done-that...that is a component here yes? Also, here's a new question. What are the moral implications of snooping? When is it ok? Is it ever?

never, but feel better dude

Never huh? Even if the evidence is large enough to warrant a peek? Thanks by the way.

No it isn't, but then being moral all the time wd probly suck.

Still I wouldn't go there. If you're gonna get thru the agony you're no doubt in at the moment, you need to reach acceptance - which is really acceptance of yourself and the inevitableness of what the world has in store for you. And acceptance for me starts with recognising that you have to let people go, once they want to go, and the other shit is just unnecessary ways of kidding yourself that the game isn't over.

There's an awful lot of good advice, and I could have done with it when I was 24. Luckily I am now 13 years older, happily married, and can hardly remember what the guy even sounded like, acted like, or why I thought my world was over when he left. So, aye, it gets better, even without following the useful advice (I basically stayed in my bed for about six months). Listen to everyone who has been through it, we mostly all have, and we all turned out OK in the end.

we had the snooping discussion before, lots of us think it's fine!

or at least p. understandable under certain suspicious circumstances.

I dunno, snooping is only going to uncover more reasons to hate and more reasons to hurt.

Yeah snooping is what it is, but you go in, you get hurt - if you want answers you gotta be ready for whatever they are.

i don't think anybody ever snoops to find out love hearts and odes to themselves.

Ahhhh. Crippling depression. I'm up at 5 in the morning eating ramen (beef flavored!) and watching that Frost/Nixon movie. Yeah, the snooping was semi-succesful. Whatever the fuck that means. One downside to it though it can lead more questions when you're confronted with vague shit.

o that's a shit movie watch something better

I was watching Last Tango in Paris. Bad choice, as I'm sure you can imagine. I noticed there are some UFC fights on OnDemand. Maybe that's the ticket. No joke.

i can't imagine brando smearing butter on anyone's arse as choice viewing at any time tbh

Sorry for the nonstop posts but all my friends are asleep. Another thing I've notice, and this is awful, is that NO music works. Obviously I'm steering clear of the blatantly depressing stuff but in a mood like this EVERY single song/album holds some danger.

have you heard of this uk indie band called radiohead?

Maybe I'll watch Jersey Shore. UFC Fights, Jersey shore episode, then I'll listen to some death metal or whatever the fuck. Cannibal Corpse.

I could listen to Kid A. Nah, not going to do that.

Someone suggest a good album.

ps i don't know if video games are your thing, but in terms of vacant time filling they're the best

That's odd. I just considered hooking up my dusty-ass Sega Genesis to play some Altered Beast. That game is a trip.

SPC: try Flight of the Conchords. THis is a serious suggestion.

OK, here we go..

Got pretty low during my M&D's divorce and the fallout.

Had they not broken up, I might never have met my wife.

Go fig.

jeez we begged our parents to seperate as teenagers.

You're right. Frost/Nixon sucks. I like the subject matter. I like dialogue-heavy movies. I like Sam Rockwell. Movie isn't grabbing me. Dunno. Time to pace around and smoke a menthol. Oh, and my parents are still together but sleep in different rooms.

get high

get moon

Get as high as the moon. I enjoyed Moon, but I wish the computer was voiced by someone other than Spacey. His voice is too recogizable. Eliminated some of the fantasy. Should've been an unknown.

Is there real Frost/Nixon footage? A dvd set or something? Love how this has turned into "I hate my ex gonna blow my brains out" to me talkin' about Altered Beast and Frost/Nixon.

xp eliminated some of the acting ability too. ironically, aside from malkovich i can't think of another actor that more consistently resembles a robot in his performances, but he then goes and tries to inject a robot's voice with personality. what an asshat.

xp that's the point- life will eventually not be about your ex anymore, hopefully sooner rather than later.

spacey vs malkovich- which is the more over-rated non-actor?

It's surprised me to learn of the esteem that Frost seems to be held in. I only really became aware of him from Through The Keyhole onwards, and had him down as basically a jowly irrelevance.

He (Spacey) was spotted in a gay haunt in Tallahassee while filming Recount. Nothing wrong with that, just saying. I'm in Tallahassee. That doesn't help either. The best bar in town plays Social Distortion on the jukebox all goddamn night. Buncha rockabilly lookin' dudes, grimy anarchist kids, and fratboys. And her. There's a kickass Mexcian restaurant though.

I like Malkovich for an awesome Playboy interview I read a while ago. I remember thinking I'd like to have a beer with him. And he said something insightful, funny enough, about relationships. I just can't remember what it was. Maybe that's why I'm here. I did not heed his words!

Is there real Frost/Nixon footage?

I have a DVD that came free with a newspaper a while ago. Happy to send it to you if you'd be interested, although it will be region 2.

That would be cool! How do we go about that?

email me your address: nick dot uptoeleven @ gmail dot com

I'll mail it tomorrow.

Wow, thanks a bunch. I'll do that now. Again, thank you.

Sent the address.

Someone suggest a good album.

― SourPatchCorpse, Thursday, 25 February 2010 10:14 (2 hours ago) Bookmark

Magazine - The Correct Use Of Soap. Will totally take your mind off the break-up and inspire a feeling of warmth

are you done with your studies young man?

just because your love life has hit a sour patch, don't become a corpse
if you are actually having persistent and very specific thoughts of suicide you need to seek professional help asap
generic 'is life worth living now?" thoughts would be normal and you just need some time to get over her - lean on friends to take your mind off of the hurt

d-mac I have a day off today, ilxing to be kept to a reasonable level

velko seems to have it about right

Professional help is a joke, these people are so stupid. Try calling a suicide hotline or checking yourself into a hospital. These people are MORONS, they act like you aren't serious and show no compassion at all. Where are the muckrakers when you need them? I mean, just try it, none of these hotlines really give a shit. In their hearts they know that only junkies and real "failures" succeed at suicide.

BAD IDEA. The kind of counseling or help suicidal people need (really talented professionals) is beyond most people's means. You are not going to get justifications as to why you need to "keep on living" over the phone.

uh wtf dude?

wasn't really talking about suicide hotlines but w/e

in re: snooping, it will make you feel much worse every time. never do it again. you know all you need to know. listen to early Gorguts & other music that takes place in imaginary cinematic worlds.

seeing a therapist might be a good idea if you are still so depressed that you want to kill yourself but I think at this point you probably know that right now you need to 1) ride out this miserable wave until you reach land and 2) stop doing things that make you feel worse i.e. snooping.

Re: Original post. Yeah, definitely been there and definitely glad I didn't do it. The months after the breakup I was a complete wreck. Friends, alcohol, work, creative projects, and eventually getting laid (when i was ready, of course) all helped in their wonderful little ways but ultimately I still felt like complete shit and was just getting worse. But giving up on life has always seemed kinda retarded to me. I've always felt that if you're really at the point where your life feels like complete shit, why not just start over? So I did. Left my hometown, my family, my friends, my awesome job and moved to Prague. It's hard as shit rebuilding from scratch and I've still got a ways to go, but I'm proud as all hell of every step I've taken towards claiming my heart and life back for myself.

u s steel mad wrong. go see a therapist or counselor. they help. most of the value is in YOU talking, not necessarily what they say in response. especially about something specific and contingent like a breakup (rather than underlying and pervasive like a serious brain chem disorder, where their specific expertise is really needed)

buy a lot of chicken wings

then fly

j/k eat them silly

wings help with my depression. and my hunger.

I got these spicy fuckin wings for lunch, ate like two, and wondered what was wrong with me for eating any more. Like each bite was just pure anguish ground up by my teeth and painfully delivered to some future toilet.

listen to early Gorguts & other music that takes place in imaginary cinematic worlds.

good advice

re stop snooping advice, i still say that full, sore and brutal truth (where snooping is successful in finding it) can help with closure/acceptance much quicker than unresolved "i wonder"s and your fevered imagination.

i'm not saying it's the high ground, but having had those "i wonder"s after a long term relationship broke up, the not knowing aspect was pretty fukn rough. i didn't have any ways of snooping but had such avenues existed i wouldn't have thought twice (that said how d'you go about finding this shit out after a relationship?

Well in one case, I did :/ After I left a (rather abusive, unpleasant) relationship, a bunch of so-called friends (well, aquaintances really) came up to me and said "about time you left that asshole, I mean he slept with ME behind your back for starters"

I did not know who to punch first.

It was like OH YOU TELL ME THIS *NOW*, YOU STUPID SLAGS o_0

punch the person in front of you first, then go and put mackerel somewhere he won't find it in his car (between door panels v good)

His revenge came on its own - he got cirrosis, is half-dead and all his friends have deserted him.

nah sorry calling bullshit on that being 'revenge' unless you're directly responsible. sorry.

Yeah, fair point.

Schadenfreude then, at least!

Anyway the point is: no one is worth killing yourself over, op. No one!

i endorse the above wholeheartedly, with the exception of rachel weisz. i hope it wasn't rachel weisz, SPC

she is dead to me anyway since she married 'I make serious movies' aronofsky

i'd go culturally necro for her

Now there's a phrase and a half.

ws that artistic corpse believe it

Yes, and now, looking back, that was silly to even consider.

You'll find the same.

Aye. I'm embarrased, now, to think back over how much angst I put myself through over some guys who I know think "wtf did I ever even see in that person?"

Obviously it's a little different if its a 30 year marriage or something though.

i'd go culturally necro for her

Putting the corpse in exquisite corpse

Aye. I'm embarrased, now, to think back over how much angst I put myself through over some guys who I know think "wtf did I ever even see in that person?"

― ABBAcab (Trayce)

^^^ this. the thing is , with these kind of relationships, the reason you end up feeling like your life is no longer worth living is because that person has fucked your self esteem to such a point it no longer even exists. they grind you down to nothing and then leave you in the gutter.

considered suicide with some frequency, but not for this reason

Woah, Jus OTM there.

Had suicidal thoughts before I ever started dating, mostly due to medication that was having side effects we only found out about later. After my first GF dumped me I had some really dark days but nothing like that. So no for me.

just1n3 SO OTM

No but I've been on the receiving end. Luckily I got to her in time. It was pretty awful.

"Someone suggest a good album"

When I was majorly depressed, I played Joni's Blue over and over again. Now it just doesn't sound the same. Still sounds good, but not in a "wow, she is saying what I'm feeling" kinda way.

But to answer your question, no, I haven't and I hope I never will. I have been pretty sad and fucked up but never contemplated death (after a breakup).

Just remember: this too will pass. Good times pass, but so do bad times.

For some reason, rewatching The Sopranos has helped greatly. Oh, and all the advice here too of course.

just fill your time and take it easy on yourself for a while. glad to hear you're feeling better.

Agreed – glad you've found some useful distractions.

Yeah, that's great to hear!! I was lucky to get dumped in August, so ILX presidential threads were the ultimate distraction for me, but still, I generally recommend following politics more closely, as it is a really great channel for emotions and can consume god knows how much time.

politics drives many people to despair tho

yeah, but it's a much less immediate despair. It helps to widen your scope about things if you're vulnerable to focusing on your own problems too much.

i never got that bad but I have been devastated for about a year... crying hysterically, losing jobs, starting fights with strangers, nervous breakdown the whole schtick. I saw her just recently and was surprised how thoroughly over it I am now. The mind is a weird organ and it moves at its own pace but you really can recover (albeit with scars) from just about anything if you're patient and can shoulder the pain. Suicide is a bullshit option imo, except in weird cases involving extreme age/pain.
this too will pass is really the name of the game

I find that high speed loud music, along with booze, helps in these situations. The Ramones first album and Motorhead have been life savers. Automatic good mood. Also helped cope with 9/11. So thanks Lemmy and whoever is still alive from the Ramones.

FYI: one thing that works well, as it feeds masochistic and egocentric tendencies, is use this opportunity to get in great great shape. Scrape your pennies together and join a gym and get a few books on weight/track training then any time you start feeling like you're going to lose it, go run or do yoga or lift weights or whatever. The solitude and pain you're feeling are going to feel the same if you're working out and your body is going to get so tired that you'll be able to sleep again. Plus you get in great fucking shape so when you see the offending party it's all like "oh yeah moving on, btw i can bench you now".
this really kept me from going over the edge when it got bad, btw.

^^^also, endorphins rule.

tru.
if you work out every time you feel bad and you're feeling bad all the time, you will get so buff.
also the important truth: "nothing cures existential pain quite like a swift punch to the gut"
Working out physically HURTS and that physical pain will draw you out of introspective pain. Just try to avoid a hernia.

Yeah, not quite at the working out phase though I see its worth and see it coming. Nah, I'm still entrenched in the get-wasted-and-blab-to-sympathetic-friends stage.

What IS fucking amazing is how the worst tunes blaring in a food court or a grocery store can drive me to near tears. Or those sentimental commercials on the tube. Stuff you would usually dismiss and poke fun at.

Oh man, that is totally the reason I ended up crying at a J. Lo/Ja Rule song *at work* in 2002. Music is crazy!

I know I chimed in on some threads here and there about my last breakup and how it was kind of nasty, but I avoided talking about the aftermath with *me*.

Frankly, I had to move out, have the face-to-face "I am done with this relationship" discussion, put up with the accusations that I should care more, etc. But I had loving family, good friends, and claimed I was getting motivated.

So then, a little less than a month after my ex had tried to commit suicide dramatically in front of me (before the breakup, what is kind of helped end things) I was in jail for the night. I'd been out with a friend's bachelor party, we ran into my ex at something we had crawled through, and I ended up drinking more than I expected. Then I decided to drive the long way home at 3am because I didn't want to go back to my family's place. And I got arrested for driving drunk, which is not only self-destructive but completely reckless and doesn't take into account anyone else's well-being.

Some good definitely came out of it. I thought life had hit rock bottom, but then I figured out that I could push myself a little lower, and I did. And then I had more shit to deal with, but it also motivated me to get off my ass, buy a house, adopt a cat, and organize more outings with friends that I had fallen out of touch with. I also started to address some long-held anxiety and depression issues that I had been putting off.

So uh, don't get that low, just find what you need to realize that life is going to rebound in great new ways.

I think part of the moral is that sometimes you're self-destructive even though you don't realize it. Wallowing in sorrow and pissed-offness is ok for a while, but don't wreck up your own life. Nobody's worth it.

What IS fucking amazing is how the worst tunes blaring in a food court or a grocery store can drive me to near tears. Or those sentimental commercials on the tube. Stuff you would usually dismiss and poke fun at.

― SourPatchCorpse, Wednesday, March 3, 2010 6:02 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is me to a t, i feel

i remember bawling at different times to 'I Won't Back Down' and 'Got My Mind Set On You', so yeah....

I almost thought Kanye West's "See You In My Nightmares" was a reasonable response to real life situations for a sec there, but then I realized lol Kanye

What IS fucking amazing is how the worst tunes blaring in a food court or a grocery store can drive me to near tears. Or those sentimental commercials on the tube. Stuff you would usually dismiss and poke fun at.

― SourPatchCorpse, Wednesday, March 3, 2010 6:02 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

used to not 'get' love songs when I was a teenager but yeah now I realize every single one of them has the power to devastate

mh, glad you made it out okay

suicide's not the only thing to worry about. some people after a breakup decide to care so little about their lives that they start letting things fall apart. relationships, bills, work, family....things crumble when you get this "ahh who cares my life is useless without her" attitude and then when things get repaired, you have a larger mountain to climb. just...don't do that.

What IS fucking amazing is how the worst tunes blaring in a food court or a grocery store can drive me to near tears. Or those sentimental commercials on the tube. Stuff you would usually dismiss and poke fun at.

no joke. i attempted to quit taking my Effexor as I erroneously thought it was causing weight gain. I take it for anxiety but it also helps work on depression. it was a mistake...I was overtly emotional and went to see a local performance of Rent one night and when "Without You" came on the tears came streaming down my cheek, probably the first time I've ever sobbed during a public performance. it's hard but you feel better after it...

She wants to hang out later on tonight. Of course I'm going to do it...just for the sex I guess.

it's a trap

I know it's stupid though. Really fucking stupid. No way I can avoid it. Too goddamn weak. Fuck.

If I could post a picture of this girl I would...just so the dudes (and lesbians) understand why it's so fucking difficult.

if i could only reach ur nose with this rolled up newspaper....

What would Tony Soprano do?

pretend this post is a YouTube of the offspring - self esteem

xp, not, maybe, the best role model for real-world decisions

Hahaha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y_B24N6kDM

ok i actually have to go home and not be on ilx while getting paid but cmon stay away from the honey trap. post sopranos clips all u want tho.

No problem. What would Paulie do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYexfzWjRDI&feature=related

yeah i also don't have sound at work!

sourpatch dude I am not gonna be all givin ppl life advice but fuckin make right decisions for yourself ok

dammit

that could go either way though j0hn!

I know I know man- dude, the funny thing is...J0hn D., we talked about Souled American and boxing in front of Vinyl Fever once. Don't know if you remember.

I think you have me confused with somebody else, this is what I look like:

http://www.freeinfosociety.com/media/images/1014.jpg

dude do you know Christopher Lloyd?

affirmative - sucks at pinochle iirc

i thought this was you j0hn
http://ccwe.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/john_dee_ashmolean.jpg

if i could only reach ur nose with this rolled up newspaper....

Seriously, I have friends who try to do the "slow break-off" thing because it was parting on friendly terms, but you seriously just need to drop that chick like a hot potato.

john dee assholian?

I thought you were the Mountain Goats guy? If not, nevermind. If so, yeah we did. I drank a purple Gatorade and chain-smoked. Ha.

Guess I'll never know. But in all seriousness, you guys are right. Maybe I should avoid this, however hard. Double meaning there.

'maybe' you should.

Anecdotally the last time I sort-of ran into my ex-of-drama she was at the other end of the same bar and I was starting to get all "oh man, she did this bad stuff, blah blah" until I suddenly snapped to attention and realized there was no conceivable reason I should be devoting time to being upset. Seriously, she was not even spilled milk, this was like crying over spilled water because the situation when I left was so dire that no one was going to think I was losing anything.

sourpatch, let me get this straight: you were dating some 21 hot girl who was cheating on you for a long time, you found out, and then she broke up with you? or you dumped her? doesn't matter really. and now you're supposed to get together with her soon, just to hang out, or screw, or something?

don't be a fucking chump. don't even talk to her.

As usual, all good advice that KINDA seeps in. Kinda is better than nothing believe you me. Thanks. I shall leave with this- it somehow ties in.
By the way...leave as in take a nap. Nothing dramatic. HA!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi-P-HWubbI&feature=related

I downloaded a torrent of that Broken Embraces Almodovar (or however you spell it) movie. Should I watch it?

no one ever listens to good advice but goole is right, u need to peace

what max said times two

yeah, SPC, you probably were already thinking what max just said

Of course I'm thinking it. Hell, I KNOW it. Thing is- I'm still in that masochistic zone. Such a hard muck to wade out of. Allow me to be a pig here...because when it comes to this particular gal...oh man Ima tellin' ya...she has a...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V2mE_QCpzU

Sorry. Down. Trying to bring a little levity to the proceedings.

no it was highly appropriate

It's funny just how much the flesh, the OUTSIDE of a person can have an effect. Even after all the damage.

no no no, you need a piece

That piece comes with a price. Don't it always? But yeah, what do you guys know about this Broken Embraces?

DONT

chiming in with the same advice as everyone else, w/accompanying humiliating anecdote:

a few years ago when i broke up with my ex - he was a terrible, evil, horrible person - i had such a serious emotional breakdown that a) i ended up in the emergency room being prescribed valium because i literally thought my brain was cracking b) i didn't eat or sleep for a week (i was working full time and going to school). by the end of that week i was begging my ex to let me just come see him. then i was begging him to let me spend a couple of nights. then a few days later i was begging him to take me back. this, all after he had said some pretty horrific things to me, pushed me around pretty badly (i really fucked up my lower back from being sort of half pushed/half thrown on to a wooden floor). like, i ~~actually begged~~ him to take me back. which he did. about 8 months later he followed me to a bar with my friends, saw me talking to a guy, stormed home, we got in a huge fight and he gave me a black eye, amongst other bruises (and broke my first pair of new glasses in 13 years, that i'd had for 2 weeks, fucking asshole; also completely destroyed my collection of framed vintage prints).

i lived in a state of terror for about 2 weeks and then one morning i woke up and realised i had nothing left for him to have. so i called a moving company, asked one of my bosses if i could store my stuff at her place, and moved in with my best friend. i only saw him three times after: once was to get my expensive lamp back and give him his passport, and the other two times i suspect he stalked me.

it was pretty much the worst time of my whole life, i really believed that everything was over for me. but it was just the opposite - everything got exponentially better. it never feels like it at the time, but when you hit rock bottom like that, especially when it's the result of someone treating you so badly, things can only get better.

so yeah. completely humiliating to remember/retell this stuff, but if it makes someone else going thru the same thing feel a little less alone and awful then it's worth it.

Don't hang out with her, man! From the sounds of it, you had a rough breakup. I had an amicable breakup without even half the baggage that you described, and both of us tried to do the same thing (ie, we had sex here and there after breaking up). It was the worst decision ever.

Staying friends was fine, but having sex caused the feelings I still had for her to creep back up. To enjoy it, I had to numb my emotions until it wasn't even enjoyable, and it caused a rift with us later.

Cause yourself some anguish now to save yourself some later.

my understanding is that you kind of have to do this in your twenties because it breaks you from doing it in your forties when it would really not be acceptable

http://nessymon.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/its-complicated.jpg

i really miss my ex a lot lately. we had been good friends for a while afterwards, then she started hanging around this new guy and bringing him to social gatherings.

the guy is a douche - the type that upon first meeting, makes the type of inappropriate jokes that are ok for someone you've known 3 years, not 15 minutes. and thinks everything he says is really funny. and talks in a really exaggerated, obnoxious fashion. and can't enjoy something simple like karaoke.

well, she found out what i said and was disappointed...we put it behind us and all but now she doesn't act as friendly anymore.

keep coming close to getting over it but memories keep flooding back because of how small a town this is can be even despite its size - everything has some memory attached.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhiUpmKueeM

you ex-gf's new guy is very rarely going to pass muster, ime.

hopefully not. I am tempted to pee on his car

that's what a female friend of mine suggested at least

A female friend suggested that you are tempted to pee in his car?

i have many female friends btw