There should be a thread for Dennis Perrin tweets.

The President of the United States is a half-mile from me, and the sky above is choked with military helicopters. Freedom!
7:14 AM May 1st via web

Or blog posts, or whatever. This guy is a goldmine of yuks.

As I watched the first few comics spar with the crowd, I decided that this bit was too arcane for the room. I toyed with an evolving premise about power relationships based on extreme porn categories, but again thought it not right. So I returned to the Black Muslim Acid set. Drugs, racism, hallucinatory revelations -- surely the kids would be hip to that. Right?

The comics before me performed more or less the same material. Different energy levels, some sharper and funnier than others, but not an eclectic range of topics. And again, nothing really political or social. There was also a lot of talking to the audience, making fun of each person's country and stereotyped culture (the Germans as Nazis, the British having bad teeth). The kids seemed to like it, yet this was not what I had in mind. When I was introduced, I improvised a few opening lines, then went directly into the bit.

Silence. Stares. When I got to the Blacks giving me acid and their features morphing into Disney crows, the lone Black audience member got up and went outside. The guy was from the Bronx, so there wasn't a cultural divide. He simply had no interest in my story. When you're confessing your inner-racist core and a Black guy walks out, you know you're fucked. And I was decidedly that. The energy shifted from giddy and silly to weirdly tense.

bravery

?

you're kind of an ignotamus, Loh

or ignoramus, or just lazy

Hey, I did a lot of work to uncover my favorite new right-wing blogger/twitterer!

OK, I get it, you're just repeating "right-wing" to make Old Dr M mad. Very cute. You're kingkongvsgodzilla, right?

I thought his comments on Conan O'Brien's disdain for "meaningful" comedy were fair and astute.

Old Dr M!!

Dr. M. may refer to:

Dr. M (film), a 1990 film starring Andrew McCarthy
Dr M or Mahathir bin Mohamad, fourth Prime Minister of Malaysia

Dr. Morbius. Yes, I changed screen-names. I'm not trying to make you mad. Sorry. I'm just having fun with Dennis Perrin, who is a bit of an enigma to me. He's hard to pin down and when someone suggested starting a rolling thread for his tweets, I thought that might be a good way to help elucidate and define his character. If it makes you overly mad, then nevermind, basically, because I'm not really interested in causing any controversy.

I'm shocked this thread is only just happening now.

I'm shocked at being called an ignotamus.

There are precious few google results for ignotamus.

Wouldn't it be great if the US govt devoted similar energy to solving its own war crimes as they are on this fucking dud SUV bomb?
about 6 hours ago via web

makes u think

did kkvg get a new personality when he changed usernames? quit being an asshole

maybe kkvg should devote similar energy to solving HIS WAR CRIMES

WAR CRIMINAL

Damn dude.

Hey Afghanistan -- we've got health care now! What do you have? Ha! Losers.
3:05 AM Mar 23rd via web

i think they've got enough on their plate, and don't deserve to be zinged by dennis perrin about their lack of healthcare

i just saw that obama was arrested moments before air force one was set to take off, so idk

Do Brits celebrate the rapin' of the green?
5:38 AM Mar 17th via web

the answer is yes

i mean what happened to the milquetoast dork who started that thread on being better than his redneck neighbors?

Where's Ryan Seacrest when Times Square needs him?
10:33 AM May 2nd via web

http://images1.cafepress.com/product/66353041v5_225x225_Front.jpg

MAYBE DENNIS PERRINS SHOULD INVESTIGATE HIS OWN WAR CRIMES INSTEAD OF A TWITTER

10:20 AM

hahaha wait, kevin when did you turn into an anti-establishment, morbs-sympathizing hardman

i noticed a change right around the time that john paul stevens resigned, but maybe velko can help update my xls

i think u guys are mean to morbs tbh

LEAVE MORBS ALONE

morbs is like 85 years old, he can handle himself!

say what u want troll the good doc how u wish but d.perrin talkin @ "length" about his desire 2 hate fuck republican women is all time internet shit fuiud

morbs is equally "mean" to "us" fwiw, if this is the definition that is being used

Sex remains a wonderful thing. Yow.
6:09 PM May 16th, 2009 via web

oh man. too many informations.

hahahahahaha

that tweet signals that dude prob has no irl friends & needs attention -- kinda sad now ;_;

np lohzilla, I'm not mad.

Lamp, that's called "comedy," the unfettered kind that's a little more edgy than sainted Conan's masturbating primates I guess.

Perrin is married and has two kids, don't know if they count as "friends."

are we sure "Dennis Perrin" isn't "Dennis Miller"?

Yesterday, Morbs felt that I wasn't worth the time it would take to explain who Dennis Perrin was. Perhaps I'm a little butthurt. Perhaps I'm not acting like myself lately because I'm jacked up on Benadryl after having a severe allergy attack this weekend. Is that milquetoast enough for you k3v?

I think that my cashews were processed in a facility that also processes pine nuts.

he explains who he is right here, OK?

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/

yah im 2 much a simp to really "get" how the gr8 the divide is btw personas hes inhabiting but tbh i like perrin best when he veers into creepy sexual predator mode:

Sofie's two companions giggled. We sat on the front steps of my friend's Chelsea art gallery, watching the older rich and younger hipsters stroll by. Sofie and her friends were visiting from Belgium. They saw me sitting alone, drinking a beer, and decided I was harmless enough to engage. We talked about art, politics, life. They were friendly and very cute. They refused to believe my age, which was flattering. Their soft young features warmed me, and it felt great to be alive in the city I love.

Think of all the successful marriages between ex-porn stars and mixed martial artists that go unreported. 2:45 PM Apr 28th via web

They were friendly and very cute.

this attempt at Chandler terseness is much grosser, actually.

I'm the author of "MR. MIKE: The Life and Work of Michael O'Donoghue, The Man Who Made Comedy Dangerous," "AMERICAN FAN: Sports Mania and the Culture That Feeds It," and "SAVAGE MULES: The Democrats and Endless War." I wrote jokes for Bill Maher and countless other comics, some of whom ran for public office. I've done the media/public speaking thing, pounding podiums when not singing and dancing for tossed coins. Once upon a time I wrote Red State Son, the archive of which can be found in the blogroll below.

Which I read yesterday, and which, let's be honest at first glance reads kinda Republican!

not as gross as anything Dennis Miller has ever said or done. but I'll take your word for it, Professor.

xp

A few months ago he wrote about how he held his nose and did campaign work for Kerry in Michigan in '04 bcz he was so appalled by Bush.

Gaza: Israel's happy hunting ground.
1:48 PM May 1st via web

Oil spills are corporate cum shots.
12:20 PM May 1st via web

New Arizona slogan: Support your local police state.
8:08 AM Apr 25th via web

Who knew the Boy Scouts were a Catholic outreach program?
6:55 AM Apr 24th via web

morbz your brave stand against guys who recite cheesy topical jokes on late night tv would make more sense if this dude wasn't your hero

He is not my hero. They're fucking tweets.

http://www.salon.com/news/opinion/glenn_greenwald/radio/2008/08/22/singh_perrin/index2.html

i have more respect for BP now that i can think of the oil spill as a bukake of the gulf coast

Hey Afghanistan -- we've got health care now! What do you have? Ha! Losers.
3:05 AM Mar 23rd via web

sounds like a line from the new lcd soundsystem album.

his book on michael o'donoghue is fantastic, though he's a little blindly in thrall to his subject

wait, he only has 103 followers???

And Dr. M is 102 of them.

i kid, i kid

For a system that fucks people, is it any surprise that the SEC loves porn?
5:11 AM Apr 23rd via web

http://chattahbox.com/images/2010/02/bandleader-kevin-eubanks-287x300.jpg

man, the numbers on indie recordsDennis Perrin's tweets always remind me that, even if something's popular on P4k/ILM/wherever, most of the world doesn't even know it exists

― ksh, Monday, May 3, 2010 9:24 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sigh. I give up. I shouldn't have got out of bed today. peace.

If Ben Roethlisberger were a superhero, he'd be Rape-Ass.
8:49 PM Apr 21st via web

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6Hb1xxSjffs/S6mSj3eXZiI/AAAAAAAAQxs/hPpkSIsoBR8/s400/NBA-Boomshakalaka.png

Tiger Woods is the Master of filling 18 holes.
5:53 AM Apr 8th via web

hold on now!!!

My superhero name is also my safeword: Snuggie.
2:11 PM Apr 24th via web

what's with the 'superhero name' running theme anyway

Obama says that Al-Qaeda would use a nuke if it had one. The good news is, it would be on Japan.
3:20 PM Apr 11th via web

yeah! fuck you japan!!

Thanks to those Iraqis who made Kathryn Bigelow the success she is tonight. Well, those still alive. Good night everybody!
9:13 PM Mar 7th via web

makes u think

Mo'nique proves that comics can be the most serious people on earth.
7:02 PM Mar 7th via web

aw!!

Vatican to begin Volcanic Ash Wednesdays.
5:56 PM Apr 18th via web

http://bryantosh.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/tracy-morgan_lolhudblogs.jpg

WORDPLAY!

lol @ dudes. volcanic ash wednesdays is like a step removed from finest dname thread shit

Dennis Perrin proves that puns can be the funniest jokes on earth.

this thread needs some greatest hits throwback jams:

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius) wrote this on thread OSCARS 2010 on board I Love Everything on Mar 10, 2010

"I'd like to thank the Iraqis for resisting our occupation. Without you, this film doesn't get made." - Dennis Perrin

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius) wrote this on thread The super-speculative 2010 NFL DRAFT thread. on board I Love NFL on Apr 24, 2010

Dennis Perrin tweet:

Had the Confederacy survived, their NFL draft would feature mouth inspections.

Dr Morbius wrote this on thread the USA, Israel, and national interest on board I Love Everything on Jan 13, 2009

Perrin again:

Why did the Israeli Army cross the border?
What border?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius) wrote this on thread HEALTHCARE THREAD on board I Love Everything on Mar 27, 2010

Perrin tweet:

Health Care "Reform": Same crooks holding the same guns, only now they're smiling.

^_______^

Obama says that Al-Qaeda would use a nuke if it had one. The good news is, it would be on Japan.
3:20 PM Apr 11th via web

yeah! fuck you japan!!

see J0rdan, he's alluding to a historical event.

(I guess what I'm asking is how crappy a school is Mizzou)

Obama says that Al-Qaeda would use conventional bombs, rained down from a fleet of B-29s, and killing hundreds of thousands of people -- more even than in atomic attacks -- if it had them. The good news is, it would be on Japan.

(I guess what I'm asking is how crappy a school is Mizzou)

ouch this seems a bit . . . harsh?

nah, J0rdan's OK, but really he thinks DP is saying "f Japan" in that joke?

Is Perrin implying that Obama would like to see the bomb used on Japan?

Is Perrin implying that Obama would like to see the bomb used on Japan?

it's all part of the plan.

http://patdollard.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/evil-obama.jpg

tbqfh, the problem with these perrin "jokes" is that he thinks that saying something vaguely topical and vaguely "provocative" adds up to meaning of any kind. like this:

Obama says that Al-Qaeda would use a nuke if it had one. The good news is, it would be on Japan.
3:20 PM Apr 11th via web

does not mean anything and no one will convince me that it does.

it means Japan is literally where he is a viking

it means nuking Japan wasn't worth losing sleep over as Harry Truman told us all

I think he means that being concerned over Al-Qaeda having a nuclear weapon is hypocritical because they haven't bombed Japan and we have. Of course, this is fucktardery.

i think it means hey! edgy comedy comin AT YA!!

dennis perrin is a comedian?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twW8GgrbWwc

i think perrin is a bore but that's not what he's saying, mordy

That's absolutely what he's saying.

yeah idk what else it could be

Or to put it differently, he's saying that when someone like Obama, the President of the only country in the world to use a nuclear weapon on another country, says that Al Qaeda would use a nuclear weapon if they had one -- there's an irony. This is 100% what he's saying.

Does Al-Qaeda even fuck with Japan?

It has nothing to do with Japan. He's pointing out the irony of evil America being afraid of nukes when America is the country to nuke Japan. That's what it means. OBVIOUSLY.

yes, an irony...the livelihood of a comedian tends to depend on pointing out ironies. this is not the same thing as saying "well, who are WE to talk? let 'em have a nuke!"

k3v... stfu.

surprising that the guy who's basic foreign policy ideology is "it's ok if the good guys do it" is gonna catch fuckin feelings here

whose obv

im not crazy about civilians being killed by predator drones, but i guess i will cop to saying that it is different from (say) deliberately bombing schools. not diametrically-opposed different, but different. obama is in pakistan because the US has long been involved in pakistan and he doesn't represent an epistemological break with all prior US policy. i guess he *could* pull out; and then, i'm sure, it would turn over to peace and prosperity. when you think about it, it's all pretty simple.

guys

you're draining this thread of lols

christ

via @huffingtonpost: Should Comedy Have Meaning?

indeed.

surprising that the guy who's basic foreign policy ideology is "it's ok if the good guys do it" is gonna catch fuckin feelings here

Is this supposed to cut me to the core or something? His comment is fucking ridiculous. The difference between 'Americans shouldn't be concerned with Al-Qaeda having nuclear weapons' and 'It's ironic that America is concerned with Al-Qaeda having nuclear weapons' is razor-thin. In fact, the difference is what is left unstated. They're otherwise synonymous. If America SHOULD be concerned with Al-Qaeda having nuclear weapons, then it isn't ironic that they are. It's historical contingency. (Not to mention that a fourth-grader has a broader grasp of history than Perrin does. Unless it's also ironic whenever the Germans criticize genocides because - lol - Jews/Gypsies/Blacks.)

My superhero name is also my safeword: Snuggie.
2:11 PM Apr 24th via web

Topical!

If you guys had been around for Malcolm X's "Chickens are coming home to roost" tweet y'all gone apeshit

Think of all the successful marriages between ex-porn stars and mixed martial artists that go unreported.

it is a stinging indictment of american journalism.

why yes, i'd very much like to read about some successful marriages between ex-porn stars and mixed martial artists!

I assumed that was a reference to some celeb story I was unaware of?

i assume so, too, but i haven't heard the story.

Mordy, however much you may disagree w/him, Perrin knows a lot of history. But I think your entire lack of humor re politics may be blinding you to this.

I'm pretty sure I don't have a lack of humor problem, but thx.

this guy isn't funny at all if you wanna talk about lack of humor

he reminds me of klosterman in that I never want to read him again sort of way.

it just makes me cringe, it's like being with a person who looks around the room waiting for people to laugh at his "joke"

harbly formed "joke"

; )

The Japan/nuke joke is a badly written joke, because while I'm well aware of the historical points he's trying to make, the way he says it doesn't make it easy at all to comprehend. But yeah what he's trying to say is yeah.

I lol'd at the Jenna Jameson joke. You see, afaik, there aren't any other ex-porn stars married to mixed martial artists and so try the veal. He'll tweet all week.

see, you know who Jenna Jameson is, you're ahead of us

Okay. So, is this guy's dad named Dan Perrin and he's got a blog named redstate? And so the son has a blog named redstateson?

Dennis shares some show ideas he will pitch in LA:

GET OFF MY LAWN, MAN

A vanity project of sorts, where I try to keep kids out of my yard, not by yelling or threatening violence, but by telling them long stories about how much better music was when I was their age, and acting out bits from Monty Python and the original SNL. Also, I don't cut my grass, which adds to the mystery: Who's this old guy in the robe, and what's a Conehead?

my sides!

why not just post all of these gems and maybe someone will be able to read all of them

ACHY BREAKY CAMP

Billy Ray Cyrus puts fathers with marginally talented daughters through six weeks of Cool Dad training. This includes dressing like a middle-schooler, wearing long, stringy hair (or if they are African-American, big Julius Erving Afros), finding the right hair dye, soul patch sculpting, and talking to their daughters in seemingly parental but utterly servile ways, because you don't scold or punish the golden goose, especially with her manager, agent and lawyers around. Miley Cyrus pops in and out, donning large wigs and speaking in British, French, and Spanish accents. Why? Have you already forgotten Billy Ray's lessons?

PUSSY HUNT

David Spade tries to nail every young starlet and model he can corner, employing sarcasm, baby talk, name dropping, and semi-sincere flattery. We follow Spade through LA's hippest night spots as he uses club lighting to mask his aging features. Between trysts, Spade shares his philosophy with the viewer, a blend of narcissism, dick jokes, and Rousseauian sentimentality, which turns out to be a cover for Spade's Hobbesian cynicism. Not that the girls understand the difference. They just want to see the Playboy mansion.

WALKING TALL

A sitcom where the actors perform on stilts. Not sure what the plot is or who the characters are, but come on! We're talking actors on stilts here! People will watch to see if they fall or crash into each other. Kinda like NASCAR on stilts, which is another good idea.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN F*?K

Wannabe porn stars have sex in front of celebrity judges Jenna Jameson, Nick Manning, and La Toya Jackson, who critique their techniques and offer advice on how to avoid most STDs. Manning begins to think he is the show and is fired amid tabloid controversies, replaced by Pauly Shore, then Bobby Flay, who insists that contestants eat a nice meal before sex while La Toya pleads for work in Vegas. By this point the original premise is unrecognizable, and not even Nick Manning's return can save it.

PLANTS HAVE MORE AWARENESS

Five teens mumble and stumble their way through suburbia, barely able to speak in complete sentences or understand the basic mechanics of everyday life. Nothing much happens. A dog might liven things up a bit, but these idiots would probably try to eat it. Dr. Phil appears, lectures the teens for ten minutes, pauses, looks at them, then leaves. He then bursts back inside, pretending that he heard something, but we know Dr. Phil reappeared because he's a fame whore and camera hog. The teens stare off into space.

QUEER HEIL FOR THE SKELETAL GAL

Ann Coulter is joined by reactionary gay men as they romp through New York City, spending copious amounts of money while advocating imperial war, privatization, corporate personhood, and the marginalization of Muslims. Tony, a graphic designer of Lebanese descent, has second thoughts, but is wooed back when the gang throws him a male stripper party at Log Cabin Republican headquarters. SEX IN THE CITY tongues TRIUMPH OF THE WILL which gives THE BOYS IN THE BAND a handjob.

GET OFF MY LAWN, MAN

A vanity project of sorts, where I try to keep kids out of my yard, not by yelling or threatening violence, but by telling them long stories about how much better music was when I was their age, and acting out bits from Monty Python and the original SNL. Also, I don't cut my grass, which adds to the mystery: Who's this old guy in the robe, and what's a Conehead?

pussy hunt wld kill on hbo

Stewart's focus on cable news channels and their corrosive influence on the body politic proved how disconnected he truly is. The vast majority of Americans don't watch these channels, so their lives and public behavior aren't coarsened by blather and sensation. Daily American life batters them enough without O'Reilly and Olbermann screaming in their faces.

Stewart's main audience are white, college-educated/age liberals with deep self-regard. For them, politics is basically voting Democrat and little more. This was seen on the faces in the crowd, and on several signs, celebrating superiority to Tea Partiers and the ability to spell correctly. Looking at them, you felt no sense of alarm, no anger about present conditions, no effort to make their desires (whatever they are) reality. Just solipsism, smugness, waving at the cameras like they were at a ball game. Afghanistan? The economy? Boring! Appletinis after the show? Sweet!

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2010/11/nurembore-rally.html

ha i just read that, and was considering posting to us politics sans attribution and making people guess...

http://www.profile-comments.com/images/tuesday/images/appletini-tuesday.gif

to perv and project

Walking through lower Manhattan, sunny windy day, I passed several outdoor cafes. Kids at tables saying nothing. Everyone texted or checked email. Were they talking to each other through their toys? Or chatting with others far away? Whatever the case, they rarely looked up. Thumbs twitching. Faces blank.

Younger friends say I'm a reactionary fuck. Get with the program, pops. This is how it is today. They're right to call me out. I welcome it. I'm decidedly retro, embarrassingly so. But what is their alternative? Where does this text-tit sucking land? Are they bending corporate tools to express something uniquely theirs? Or are they docile consumers dazed by brands?

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2011/04/textures.html

i loved Mr Mike but posts like the above make perrin seem like a clueless tool.

Said kids texting were probably saying variants on "There's this weird old guy walking down the street muttering to himself..."

as you know, I have to restrain myself from ripping such devices out of ppl's hands and tossing them in the Gowanus, so carry on.

Transforming deadwood into rhetorical questions – his specialty.

text-tit sucking

i feel like perrin's weird fusion of acidic curmudgeonliness and obliqueness have had a wonderful influence on morbz's posts

Those crazy kids doing all that 'communicating with their friends' shit - why even have friends? Because our corporate overlords tell us to?

DP and I have some mutual friends (well at least one), so now that he's visiting NY regularly I may run into him and say hi for all of you. I think he would be delighted to learn of your loathing.

do you recommend tweeting or texting him?

He's doing standup in NYC periodically -- Alfred, come up for that! ;)

http://wedgeblog.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/andy_rooney_2-2006_05_02-11_09_521.jpg

did Andy ever say, "I'm decidedly retro, embarrassingly so"?

All I can tell you is JUST WAIT til you get middle-aged crazy.

why are tweeting and texting worse than blogs and message boards?

Why are gumdrops worse than a sachertorte?

Mordy asked.

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2011/05/grave-dance-party.html

Not because I actually cared. Does he ever express sentiments that are recognizably human or are they all about how much more evolved he is than the rest of us?

no, it's kind of related to how we fucking murdered many times 3000 ppl to get the bad guy

and blow me

RedStateSon Dennis Perrin
Republicans have Viagra. Liberals, assassinations.
13 May Favorite Retweet Reply

It's redundant to note that only a Democrat could get away with this, yet it's all too true. That the liberal savior is overseeing the cuts must really sting his followers. I'm tempted to say they have it coming, but after Obama's debt deal with our owners' reactionary wing, we're all going to get it. Schadenfreude is dead.

This won't stop liberals from voting again for Obama. Nothing would. Obama knows this and serves his real base. The slaves will come crawling, thinking that their votes will stave off ruin and plunder. All they're doing is ratifying further political attacks on themselves. The brighter slaves understand and rationalize. The dimmer slaves smile and beg for more. Our owners remain untouched, free to milk the system anytime they choose. Their press agents insist that we're the envy of the world. Many of us believe it or want to, crumbling infrastructure to the contrary.

Old family photos portray a shinier past, when American power and wealth was at its zenith. Big cars, new neighborhoods, expanding consumer confidence. I bitch about today's tech toys, but looking back to my childhood, there were countless toys to go around. People bought the bullshit because they were able to buy things. For people my age and older, the steady American decline has been quite amazing to witness. It doesn't seem real, but that's the privilege of living in an imperial country. Fantasy is always an option.

I'm guessing this is why so many kids are jaded and cruel. What do they have to look forward to? What's it like to be a teen or young adult in this era? I haven't the slightest and desire none. I still believe another world is possible, but this may be age talking. Who can focus on alternatives when the life boats are sinking?

#Dennis Perrin
Obama: Throwing Palestinians under the tank.

I can tell Dennis how young adults "in this era" are.

#DennisThePerrin
Is there anything sweeter than dancing to 70's funk in your underwear in a cheap hotel room at dawn while swigging vodka? There is? Fuck me.

couldn't afford a hooker eh

or would that be contributing to a system as diseased as capitalism?

Is there anything sweeter than dancing to 70's funk in your underwear in a cheap hotel room at dawn while swigging vodka? There is? Fuck me.

Dancing in clothes that make one look good?

read that as "throwing Palestinians under the stank".

#DennisThePerrin
Is there anything sweeter than dancing to 70's funk in your underwear in a cheap hotel room at dawn while swigging vodka?

Having friends?

Loving life?

#DennisThePerrin
Obama: Talks populist. Governs corporatist. GOP: Talks crazy. Governs corporatist. The choice is clear.

Coke?

Never knew he had shown up on The McLaughlin Group once.

Like so many before him, Qaddafi was an imperial speed bag. To be pummeled when needed. Qaddafi helped in his own demise. His personal flamboyance owed more to Siegfried and Roy than Mussolini. His violations of human rights were rewarded and played down until he had to be Hitler again. Then he was the worst ruler on the planet. Beyond civilized norms. A mad dog loose among peaceful nations. There's only one way that narrative ends. As we've seen.

A nagging concern must be, Who do we get to replace Qaddafi? Not in geopolitical terms, but as a propaganda savage. Syria's Assad seems like the next target, though that would be a tougher production.

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2011/10/creeping-wreck.html

"Imperial" is a pretty righteous name for a fitness equipment manufacturer.

Qaddafi hadn't been used as a "propaganda savage" in decades. It's not a "nagging concern" for anyone.

He was used as one in, oh, the last 4 months for the prez to do his usual unconstitutional thang.

Tiger Woods is the Master of filling 18 holes.
5:53 AM Apr 8th via web

hold on now!!!

― the rural führer (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, May 4, 2010 1:50 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

i loved Mr Mike but posts like the above make perrin seem like a clueless tool.

― Republicans voiced concern about young pages hearing the word uterus (stevie), Monday, April 25, 2011 10:27 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark

but no enemies on the left these days, i suppose.

James Wolcott likes him, good nuff eh

He was used as one in, oh, the last 4 months for the prez to do his usual unconstitutional thang.

― incredibly middlebrow (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 22 October 2011 19:20 (2 hours ago)

The Obama administration never had to bother with any wartime propaganda because they experienced almost no resistance from the right or from the media w/r/t the intervention. The idea that they used Qaddafi to advance some political agenda and that now they need some new scapegoat is really silly.

mmmm, yer really silly

DennisThePerrin
Sort of like JFK lying in state -- except that JFK killed far more people than did Qaddafi. http://tiny.cc/anvw3

"Unconstitutional Thang" sounds like an Infinity Within b-side.

Can we add Ruth Buzzi to Morbs faves?

LIFE WOULD BE BETTER if our career politicians were limited to two terms: one in office and one in prison.

only if Arte Johnson is silent

He's doing standup in NY soon! All you fans should come out.

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2011/11/soon.html

if that poster is a preview of the kind of lulz on display...

I wonder if he'll do the Black Muslim Acid bit.

Tina Fey on Jimmy Fallon is as authentic as Bob Hope on Johnny Carson.

man i hate when talk show interviews lack authenticity

She should be KEEPING IT REAL for great social justice.

"so how have you been tina"
"oh not so good, jimmy, what with all these drone strikes"

u guys don't fucking understand, but it's the world we've made for you so eh

Admit it: if you were pinned down by sniper fire, you'd follow Tim Tebow to safer ground.

if YOU were pinned down by sniper fire it would probably be tebow behind the scope

Mr Perrin Goes to the Kennedy Center

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2012/01/get-sprung.html

lol @ url

I usually counter with, What about Dulles? I've never heard a liberal denounce that airport's name.

lol i have.

Gingrich's ex-wife says Newt wanted an open marriage. Who knew the GOP had two Mormons running?

.........

they already had two mormons running

two mormons run into a bar

Watched All The President's Men last night with someone who hadn't seen it. It'd been ages for me, so the film felt fresh as well. Not only is ATPM a time capsule in style and subject matter (remember investigatory journalism?), it reinforces how imperial corruption has sharpened.

"Jeez, that Nixon was a piece of work."

"He was a brutal, paranoid fuck," I replied. "Sad thing is, Obama's worse."

Oh man is he ever. Difference is, Obama's smoother. No self-pitying rants from him. Obama makes you feel good about awful things. If you're predisposed to it, that is.

The past four years will do little to dampen liberal spirits. They're already revved up, intent to keep fascist Republicans out of the White House. That no Repub running can match Obama's authoritarian record is beside the point. If anything, it deepens liberal love for Their President. As the year slogs on, this mindset will intensify. By election day, the only way decent Americans can forestall a Nazi putsch is to give Obama another term.

Again, it's a great system for those who own it.

http://dennisperrin.blogspot.com/2012/01/do-creep.html

Thanks Madonna, for keeping the queer imperial vibe going.

Thanks Morbius, for keeping the queer imperious vibe going.

Tina Fey on Jimmy Fallon is as authentic as Bob Hope on Johnny Carson.

Assuming Perrin's point is that Fey-on-Fallon is inauthentic (which wasn't necessarily obvious to me), I wonder what about her recent appearance made him say this. I realize that there's an element of theatre in all talk-show appearances, but Fey and Fallon seem to have such an easy, genuine camaraderie.

Social justice is slow, halting, boring, and decidedly unsexy. Fuck it. I'll just vote Democrat.

http://www.bravotv.com/media/images/persons/dish-111011-housewives-tell-it-like-it-is-promote.jpg

Mitt Romney was a violent bully as a teen. Clearly he's unqualified to be Commander in Chief.

The reason why liberals don't march against Obama is that pavement hurts their kneecaps. #Obama2012

the kind of laughter that comes from hearing someone say something you could've posted to an ilx politics thread

nuthin better

Dennis Perrin ‏@DennisThePerrin
Obama on Vietnam sounds worse than Nixon. Which means that liberals were wrong about Nixon. Right? #Obama2012

I heard some of O's Memorial Day speech and repressed vomit. How about you?

this is Dr M, not DP. Glad you've become a follower, Mordy!

i don't listen to presidential memorial day speeches

Liberal icon Woodrow Wilson jailed and deported labor activists. Obama ignoring them must be an improvement.

Justice John Roberts, who cast the vote that made liberals ecstatic, was appointed by George W. Bush. Thanks again Ralph Nader!

A white corporatist Mormon gets booed by the NAACP? Next you'll tell me that a Black corporatist Christian won't bother to show up. ‪#NAACP‬

"There is never any justification for violence." Preach it, Mr. President! #NobelPrize

I haven't seen this much of Big Bird since 5th grade. If only Romney would attack Bruce Lee.

I dreamed that liberals tried to make Ann Coulter relevant again, but clearly it's my fevered imagination.

is it this guy's schtick being ironically hacky?

or is he just a hack?

lololololotm

lord custos tribute thread

perrin is such a fucking tool.

He reminds me a lot of Dr. M w/ the out of nowhere* w/ facile, oversimplified observations and bland, flat attempts at wit. I can hear Morbs now saying that somehow what I'm saying is b/c I'm a Chicago gal standing up for her precious BAM.

*unless I'm missing recent news about liberals (or should I spell that "libruls" lol) speaking out against Ann Coulter more than usual

love how morbius was initially suspicious and resentful of this thread being started but now dutifully uses it as intended

yall must be lucky not having FB friends handwringing over every Coultface utterance

J plz, you are a bad mindreader. Let's just wish each other well, OK?

AC tweet about "retards" started a full-on lib buzzcycle.

New Deal. Great Society. Grand Bargain. Saved Coupons. Coins In The Sofa. Pay Up Fucker! #Obama2012

Habitual use one's illness as a defense against being challenged is crass.

I don't really see you challenging anything.

For shutting down Wall Street, Sandy is subject to arrest and prosecution.

Dear Democratic Friends: There is one last shopping day to scare yourselves to death. #Election

The GOP rape message tanked. Rape by drone is hanging tough.

1. Q: What do you call a Palestinian mass grave? A: Israel.

2. Drawers of water, hewers of wood. Crying that they're misunderstood.

3. Q: What did the Israeli Gomer Pyle say when he saw Hamas fire three missiles? A: "Qassam! Qassam! Qassam!"

4. There was once a Zionist, Joe,
whose reflexes were kinda slow.
One day he released
a white phosphorus feast,
on Gazans killed weeks ago.

5. Q: Why did the Israeli Army cross the border? A: What border?

sometimes comedy's not the best vehicle for politics

Dr Morbius wrote this on thread the USA, Israel, and national interest on board I Love Everything on Jan 13, 2009

Perrin again:

Why did the Israeli Army cross the border?
What border?

a perennial never dates

But stale bread just turns into croutons.

"Perrin-ial" would've been funnier. "Perineum" would have been even funnier.

I really dig his "seventeen-year-old who just read about anarchism and Chomsky on the internet and makes it his mission to open the eyes of all the sheeple via dad jokes" style.

Exactly that ^^^.

Won't be surprised if one day soon he uses "sheeple" b/c he thinks he coined a deliciously fresh and apt term.

The energy shifted from giddy and silly to weirdly tense.

Je55e, maybe one day he'll equate bombing children w/ abortions like u do, fucking genius

I did that?

It might be funnier than his usual stuff I guess.

‏@DennisThePerrin
Please Go Away For Christmas #RealisticCarols

‏@DennisThePerrin
It's The Most Depressing Time Of The Year #RealisticCarols

@DennisThePerrin
Frosty The Junkie #NoveltyCarols

#humor

you follow perrin on twitter solely for the benefit of your weird obsession with morbs, correct

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_455/1258766524921EWE.jpg

I don't follow anything on Twitter, but I did wind up on DP's blog when reading about Spielberg's Lincoln, which triggered my one weird obsession.

I'm sure people from Palestine to Yemen wish Hillary Clinton a speedy recovery and most Happy New Year.

I hope so too.

*BOOM*

THE POUNDING FATHERS (1981) Bob Guccione's colonial version of CALIGULA. Dabney Coleman, Helen Mirren, Norman Mailer, Pam Grier.

"As we celebrate the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. . ." Barack Obama with a straight face. Irony, you've been Armstronged.

Dennis Perrin ‏@DennisThePerrin
So, who do you have winning the Oscar -- torture in the 21st century, or the suspension of Habeas Corpus in the 1860s?

man, this guy is a fucking moron

irony, you've been armstronged!

irony, you've been lied to?
irony, you took performance enhancing drugs?
irony, you were mean to your underlings?

don't get it

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

i'm glad dennis perrin has the courage to tell president obama that he is tarnishing martin luther king jr's legacy. classy!

irony, you've been on oprah

Mordy, it seems to me he prob knows the POTUS isn't a follower, so maybe you should quit that fine Israeli w33d.

Dennis Perrin ‏@DennisThePerrin
Obama taking the oath on MLK's Bible is roughly equivalent to him pissing on it.

roughly

lol Perrin's überlefty obliviousness as to how ugly he sounds when he slams Obama vis-a-vis Dr. King.

actually, it ISN'T lol, it's kind of disgusting.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/contributors/dennis-perrin/headshot.jpg

piss on you, Eisbaer

Perrin's no Michael O'Donohue, even though he tries so so so very very very hard

ilxor you've been Perrined

Gorilla you're a desperado.

Poof, you're a malted.

Dennis Perrin ‏@DennisThePerrin 16 May
THE BREAKTEXT CLUB (2013) Five kids in detention are too busy with their phones to interact, even when the school catches fire.

:D

"very good comedy tweet"--Garfield the Cat

they can't all be Israeli butchery jokes.

As if they would be allowed to keep their phones, psh

Dennis Perrin ‏@DennisThePerrin 17h

Christian Singles -- Jesus' favorite cheese.
Expand

Reply
Retweet
Favorite

This one's actually pretty good!

http://www.nordicskiracer.com/Training/2006/06-24StenJen1/hurdles04.jpg

@DennisThePerrin
Calm down, Internet. Rolling Stone has featured many terrorists on its cover -- Carter, Reagan, Clinton, Bush, Obama, Bob Hope.

― playwright Greg Marlowe, secretly in love with Mary (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, July 17, 2013 1:09 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Can we get a site-wide script to automatically replace any Dennis Perrin tweets with a comical fart noise?

― This amigurumi Jamaican octopus is ready to chill with you (Phil D.), Wednesday, July 17, 2013 1:13 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

@DennisThePerrin
Happy Skull Fuck Assassinated Radicals Day!

pretty edgy for a guy named dennis

much as i loved his michael o'donohue book, perrin has the very opposite of a way with words or a pithy turn of phrase

can someone unpack that tweet?

'mlk despite being killed is still being cruelly used by forces of oppression today'

'mlk loved giving oral sex so much they killed him, with oral sex'

'i promise that in spite of my run-on modifiers and rape metaphors i care about equality.'

The difference between Barack Obama and Walter White is that Obama's wife signed on to the empire business from the jump.

Michele having affair with Joe Biden while Barack, fuming, tosses pizza on Rose Garden roof.

perrin has the very opposite of a way with words or a pithy turn of phrase

i swear to god it's like watching a bird with a broken wing try to take off

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RbydOUhQgH0/UEATAp6mfiI/AAAAAAAAG8s/knP6jhGYtkI/s400/DSC00948.JPG

L - Perrin, R - Barack Obama

alfred gunning for perrin's 'horribly formed jokes' crown itt

"gunning"

*tosses pizza on Rose Garden roof*

http://images.dailykos.com/images/user/575/ObamaBrushingthatDirtOffHisShoulder.jpg

I'd love to see Perrin-styled umairh tweets

Dennis Perrin‏@DennisThePerrin22h
When Alfred Nobel's porn photos emerge, those prizes will get even sexier.

Dennis Perrin‏@DennisThePerrin5 Oct
"There's a bright golden haze on the meta! There's a fright junkie craze near the feta!" OKLAHOMA for the indifferent.

0_0

Is there an emoticon for tumbleweed?

the Saturday Night Live title logo, methinks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X_Ot0k4XJc

(musing on how many of the two of you know the lyrics to "Oklahoma!") xp

It's the "fright junkie"/feta thing I'm having a problem with, Morbs.

u know theyre tweets, right, and not the Tonight Show?

I mean, can you unpack it?

Liberals will never attack your physical shortcomings unless they hate you. And you probably deserve it.

Baghdad better get its shit together or it'll never host the #WorldCup .

https://twitter.com/DennisThePerrin/status/509061656157372417

Letterman last night: "There was in interesting story in the New York Times over the weekend. I guess we knew this, but in North Korea, because they have the evil dictator Kim Jong Un, even the slightest offense will get you killed. And I was thinking, wow, it's just like Staten Island."

thought of morbz immediately

still waiting for the check to clear

American elites hate satire and have financed the murder of journalists globally, so their outrage is puzzling, but welcome. #CharlieHebdo

https://twitter.com/DennisThePerrin/status/693543674739867648

https://twitter.com/DennisThePerrin/status/748275890660970496

accurate reflection of how america feels being forced to choose between a greedy, unhinged, unrepentant racist and a powerful woman

nuthin greedy 'bout that repentant racist woman

2 retweets, 6 likes

new blog!

Currently, liberals have lost their minds over suspected Russian interference in our always envied, never duplicated democratic paradise. I say “suspected” simply because, to date, there is no definitive proof that Putin’s tentacles manipulated the US electoral process. But liberals, being smarter than everyone else, don’t need definitive proof. They simply know, and are more than happy to share their insights.

Twitter offers numerous examples of this mindset, but Keith Olbermann is easily the most unhinged. According to Olbermann, Trump’s victory is an act of war declared by Russia — a coup, actually — and we must resist with every patriotic fiber in our innocent souls.

I’m not quite sure what Col. Keith has in mind. Rambling Twitter threads? High decibel YouTube rants? Flipping off Trump Tower? Perhaps, like Che, Olbermann’s resistance plans are so bold that any mention of them will compromise their effectiveness. Who the fuck knows, just so long as Jeff Daniels plays him in the HBO film....

The Trump nightmare is real enough on its own. Is this the best “resistance” we can muster?

https://dennisperrinblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/13/purity-of-essence/

there should be a thread for Richard Nixon tweets.

i have never seen this guy referenced anywhere other than on ilx. still have no idea who he is.

check the liberry

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0380973308.01._AA400_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

he has 839 twitter followers

i have never seen this guy referenced anywhere other than on ilx. still have no idea who he is.

― na (NA), Tuesday, December 13, 2016 3:29 PM (forty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he has 839 twitter followers

― iatee, Tuesday, December 13, 2016 4:15 PM (eight seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol based on how much morbz posts about him i thought he was very well-known or something. i also have never seen him referenced outside ilx

no, he is just some dude

maybe morbs is friends with him irl dunno

Can't believe you guys don't know about the dude who wrote a book about Donahue.

sorry guys, i know how desperate you all are to assfuck Trump bcz he has 70 kajillion followers

lol

This summer, Perrin was losing Twitter followers whenever he pointed out what subhuman garbage Clinton was, and then he'd tweet "C'mon, more!"

What a hero

just different ways of measuring human worth

morbs come clean, is dennis perrin just your twitter superhero identity

iirc there was a good discussion of dennis perrin on the thread for non-diegetic posters

Vladimir Putin is the sexy Ralph Nader

https://hhpblog.s3.amazonaws.com/blog/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/senior-man-computer-confused.jpg

His Donahue book is good. His tweets are not, unless rote zings at Clinton are the only thing that still gets your dick hard.

plz don't say Donahue even as a joek

Sorry for the slight to Phil O'Donoghue.

https://twitter.com/DennisThePerrin/status/822365531650945024

woeful stuff even by perrin's low standards

Three "likes".

he retweeted will menaker from chapo trap house, who he was apparently hanging out with yesterday. can't wait for the ilx clusterfuck if and when perrin guests on the podcast

I should repeat that Perrin's O'Donoghue book is pretty good, if requiring the reader to believe that O'Donoghue's every instance of being a bitter self-destructive cunt is actually a gesture of genius. He's a dull knife as a tweeter, though.

more of a plastic spoon, really

def not kicking thru that open net

yr soccerball metaphors could use a little work, honestly

was bellowing at the dilution of Scrooged into holiday saphood an example of M O'D's cuntdom, i wonder?

I'm very fond of that movie, and I'm not sure fashioning it into a more bitter and caustic satire would have improved it, and yes, that was one instance in which O'Donoghue seemed a vainglorious crank who was probably very difficult and unpleasant to spend time with, on occasion.

It's been at least a decade since I read it. I tried to reread it a few years ago and didn't enjoy it nearly so much and stopped, so apologies if my recall is too vague for you.

there's no doubt the guy was a 'purist' about his own work, but you can't be surprised that he wasn't especially interested in cineplex-level mass appeal. He was delighted at reports of audience 'riots' at Mondo Video.

I keep meaning to watch Mondo Video, I tracked down a copy a while ago.

it has a couple of huge belly laughs, otherwise agreeably perverse.

https://twitter.com/DennisThePerrin/status/837659000581808128

The following North Korea thread is brought to you by SAVAGE MULES: It seemed like the right book to write at the time. pic.twitter.com/y3RL4BOqnX

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) August 9, 2017

continues...

Well, it's a start. pic.twitter.com/3w39rHTOVY

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) September 30, 2017

Alternate Mayor Pete Monikers:
Officer Pete (Cop Vote)
Major Pete (Military Vote)
Elite Pete (Corporate Vote)
Puritan Pete (Evangelical Vote)
Spock Pete (Comic-Con Vote)
Scurvy Pete (Pirate Vote) https://t.co/ov97bXPzmX

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) April 20, 2019

Should the (gasp!) Boston Bomber be allowed to vote? Well, war criminals get to vote, and some even get to vote for *themselves.* Voting rights hinge on who you bomb.

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) April 23, 2019

are you going to confine them to this thread now? b/c that'd help us all out

just as long as i'm boycotting the politics threads

♫This land is their land
This sure ain't your land,
From corporate towers
To the offshore islands,
From the burning forests
To the tax free havens,
This land is meant for who pays me♫ pic.twitter.com/R3IN51aFrG

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) October 26, 2019

He said a lot of things, mostly deranged. He had pictures drawn by Richard Speck in his office, just to show how edgy he was. They guy might have been funny in the 70's but he was a tool when I had the displeasure be be around him. https://t.co/vXqI0ftTgs

— Nora Dunn (@noradunn) February 6, 2020

lol Perrin has such major creep vibes

Imagine Tarantino directing an O'Donoghue biopic. You know he'd get the period right. pic.twitter.com/AbwVeoE5jw

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) February 21, 2020

i'd ask how, uppmiss, if I wasn't bored with your post

Why is @DennisThePerrin off Twitter?

oh my god
we were wrong
he was Morbs
all along

I confess
I was lame
Thought one was two
Tho thoughts were lame

I've never been on the Twitter

You fucking liar.

Laugh at this all you want, but it's more common than you think. I did 27 sit-ups at my Grandfather's showing, shadowboxed over my Uncle's open casket, and performed a tribute to Mummenschanz as dirt was tossed on my Stepfather's grave. Grief takes many forms. pic.twitter.com/gspcPueAlS

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) September 25, 2020

.