The Human LOLipede: First EXCELSIOR

it was either this or a "that's where I'm a viking!" reference

nah that's shit

fuck this title man

Sometimes I wonder what gershy's been up to. Dude was always like "Revive!"

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

maybe he'll come back from the dead someday ; )

― Guns, Computer, The Internet (harbl), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So full of life...

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

gershy clings to ILX tenaciously, like velcro

― coalition to me (acoleuthic), 18 May 2010 20:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

velkro?

― bee en u_u (bnw), 18 May 2010 21:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fuck this title man

― show me your buccina (ken c), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 14:46 (12 seconds ago) Bookmark

Missed opportunity with the picture of the old woman with a vagina in the middle of her head that she is pooping out of. Why will no one name a thread after her?

we've had threads about garu g's nan

I'm sorry, missed opportunity with the what?

I was gonna mention marissa marchant but I don't know the full history

Missed opportunity with the picture of the old woman with a vagina in the middle of her head that she is pooping out of. Why will no one name a thread after her?

― Eighteen straight. I think that's a record. (kenan), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 9:47 AM (52 seconds ago) Bookmark

WAHT? Wait, nm. I don't actually think I want to know.

lol x-post

"oh you know, that old picture everyone knows of the old woman pooping our of her face vagina"

If you continue to mock me, I will post the picture.

you don't under stand, old woman pooping out of her face vagina is the name of my dog!

(apologies to dj mencap)

It's actually a horn, but it's funny cos it looks like a poop.

oh, well that makes sense

(?????????????????)

"an auxiliary asshole in the centre of her forehead like a baleful bronze eye"

Still beats a baleful regular asshole, I guess.

Dan go back and look at the old excelsior thread if you really want to see it. It's an old lady with a rather unfortunate looking (as if there are any other kind) cutaneous horn sprouting out the middle of her forehead.

wait. daniel sturridge went to chelsea????

omg daniel sturridge went to chelsea u guys

I don't want to go to Chelsea.

thread delivers

wait did we do that kenan/lj sequence before or am i dj viewing

Human ILXorpede

There is a problem in that each time the joke is passed on, it becomes less nutritious and potentially quite toxic.

Question: who is the Dieter Laser of ILX?

Sometimes I wonder what gershy's been up to. Dude was always like "Revive!"

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

maybe he'll come back from the dead someday ; )

― Guns, Computer, The Internet (harbl), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So full of life...

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

gershy clings to ILX tenaciously, like velcro

― coalition to me (acoleuthic), 18 May 2010 20:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

velkro?

― bee en u_u (bnw), 18 May 2010 21:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

-_-

hahahaha

rofl at 'velkro'

revive

Question: who is the Dieter Laser of ILX?

I believe morbz is our resident mad scientist

Question #2: If you had to be the middle segment in an ILX centipede, whose poop would you want to be eating & who would you want to have to eat your poop?

a) me
b) you

"oh you know, that old picture everyone knows of the old woman pooping our of her face vagina"

― Have a slice of wine! (HI DERE), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 1:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thanking u

u can't eat ur own poop duh

xp

If I had to pick the human in front of me in the ILX centipede it would probably have to be one of the hardcore nutrition nazis who probably only poop one tiny compressed owl pellet made up of kale and protein supplements every day.

Xpost I beg to differ, the centipede can contort in strange ways

yeah but you'd have to hear them brag about it xp

I love joygoat's post.

u can't eat ur own poop duh

One more push and I reckon this lady could...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JmpkIMgnzIE/SJR1XW5ZotI/AAAAAAAAJl0/uzHxqnhamDg/s400/1.jpg

i'd love to see the firemand that could get that cat out in one piece

okay no

That is actually a GIS result for the search "HUMAN UNICORN"

HUMAN POOPICORN

wait so that's a picture of joanna newsom?

May 19, 2010, will go down as the dark, dark day that ILX introduced me to the concept of the pooping face vagina

After the woman had that removed, she could have had it made into a walking stick handle.

i'll take the blue pill

this is the biggest fraud ever, she's just tripped onto a coatstand imo

The tragedy of that picture is that that poor lady's grandchildren would have seen her horn grow larger with every visit. They must have been terrified. The upside is that she always had somewhere to hang a teacup.

somewhere, someone has taken that picture and is furiously drawing a cartoon involving that woman, her pooping face vagina and sexual acts

:(

if that's all they're furiously doing then i'll settle for that tbh

that woman is Liz Jones in 20 years btw

o@o

looool

;@; more like

nah, tear ducts severely compromised innit

That the woman had grandchildren would imply that some unfortunate soul was willing to overlook the poop-horn long enough to impregnate her, unless, of course, there are those who into that kind of thing (who am I kidding, there have got to be poop-horn fetishists out there)

it gives you something to hold onto

it says below the pics that she developed them at 49, presumably long after sprogging had finished

how anyone could not feel horny after looking at her pic, I just don't know

says quite clearly that the horn had been growing for 20 years, it might only have been a nub when she was 25.

xp

"Eventually it was a toss-up between calling the position 'doggystyle' and 'avoiding getting your eyes scratched out by a flailing poop-horn'."

there's a guy that works in my building that might have something like this going on?? i thought he had some kind of head injury, but on a closer (furtive) look, it basically looked like the tip of a skeletal finger poking out of the back of his head. about half an inch. it looked like it hurt.

ts horn penetration vs stumpsex

No more snoggin' with a poop on yr noggin.

"Eventually it was a toss-up between calling the position 'doggystyle' and 'avoiding getting your eyes scratched out by a flailing poop-horn'."

― Have a slice of wine! (HI DERE), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 17:12 (13 seconds ago)

-_-

ts horn penetration vs stumpsex

― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 17:12 (23 seconds ago)

-______-

so I guess if you had sex with her...they'd have to call it horn-a-copia?

xp wider, wider

you have no idea how tempting it is to edit "8=D" and "8=======D" into those posts

cornucopia means horn of plenty anyway, and cornu means horn - no need to change it

cornucopulate

if you were castrated by it, i guess you'd be a eunuch-horn

btw we are all horrible ppl

I was trying to fit copulate into their but it was straying too far off

xp aagh

if you were castrated by it, i guess you'd be a eunuch-horn

― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 17:15 (12 seconds ago)

-___________________¬____________________-

dune was inspired after frank herbert met that lady at a family function btw

family function = fundraiser to get rid of this fucking horn in my head

is "fucking" an intensifier or an adjective there

i'm not touching that

no, seriously i'm not touching it ew

this thread is spiraling out of control

this thread is awesome

I think we get the point...

BTW I'm just going to go eat some food, so wish me luck!

mmm cream horns

http://www.chandlersicecream.com/products/horn.jpg

Hello old lady, why the long faeces?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XsVALQtGIZM/Rx6I8D6A-KI/AAAAAAAACKI/iYGct7nKHF8/s400/Hancock.jpg
'Lady Don't Poop Backwards'

don't foul backwards?

Don't poop out of your forehead and into your mouth?

Anyway:

--

Man, kind of depressing reading all the comments on Invisible Oranges and other sites about Isis calling it quits. I realize it may just be the vocal minority, but I didn't realize there was so much hatred of them for what they inspired. I'll certainly miss them and, hey, its not Pearl Jam's fault that Puddle of Mudd is a going concern in 2010.

― he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 6:58 PM (2 minutes ago)

yes it is

― in which we apologize for sobering up (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 7:00 PM (45 seconds ago)

http://www.alley-cat.de

"Porn for women". Something tells me this is not going to work. I don't know why, exactly, though.

― The Clegg Effect (Tracer Hand), Thursday, May 20, 2010 10:15 AM

Well, first off, are you a woman?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, May 20, 2010 10:16 AM

wait how is germinal not the name of a urinal disinfecting company

― Face Book (dyao), Thursday, May 20, 2010 9:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a combined 'rejects' team as official wildcard entrant would be the BEST THING EVER

like, after all the squads are named, some renegade boss picks a best of the rest and they COMPETE

― Dan, Dan, DARRAGH (acoleuthic), Friday, 21 May 2010 15:53 (17 minutes ago)

Cruyff with Gene Hackman as his Lieutenant

― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Friday, 21 May 2010 16:03 (7 minutes ago)

The Dirty Dozen XI

― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Friday, 21 May 2010 16:03 (7 minutes ago)

you never had anal sex with a girl from the front, Tuomas? It's awesome fun, really intimate too

― Dan, Dan, DARRAGH (acoleuthic), Friday, May 21, 2010 3:29 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LJ leave the girl alone, she needs to get back to the war

― Have a slice of wine! (HI DERE), Friday, May 21, 2010 3:30 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

Thank the Lord I've avoided that thread

:(

aerosmith what happens on ILTMI stays on ILTMI

and Twitter

Oh dude, I have ILTMI blocked from SNA at work for a reason. Thank you, aerosmith.

It'll be all over the world by now, LJ

Hello, Vanuatu!

FIle under: Yours was yum

What do you people get up to when the rest of us aren't looking

looooooooool I'd forgotten all about "Yours was yum"

I know a guy who will neck 3 or 4 of those Mother cans in a row. Then, unsuprisingly, he goes really quite mental.

― demiurge overkill (Trayce), Tuesday, May 25, 2010 6:34 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark

i don't go on ILTMI as a rule, but i imagine LJ & Tuomas meeting on that board must be like those old DC/Marvel crossover comics where you'd finally get to see Superman battle the Incredible Hulk

Nah, they're more like those internet cartoons where they shag at three frames per second.

Bear Vs Shark

http://www.myspace.com/bearvsshark

rong thread delete pls

i really wish i hadn't read that louis post

i really wish you hadn't too. aerosmith has a lot to answer for, such as my suddenly-north-of-20 SB count (n.b. this is an estimate)

You haven't been SBed for that.

wait it's my fault that people are sb'ing acoleuthic?

aerosmith what happens on ILTMI stays on ILTMI

oh shoot is this true - we're not supposed to excelsior iltmi posts? i am sorry, total oversight - I read threads as "site new answers" and don't really think of the boards as different. my bad please accept my apology for real!

just kiddddding xp

nah dude honestly it's fine, this is mock outrage

lol as the resident always-outraged guy I am always the last to spot fake outrage & assume everybody else is also on permaboil

yeah i think that's bullshit ne ways, iltmi isn't a private board. if only

sbed you for mock outrage, LJ

I wish my levity could be conveyed in more than words

(and I was literally just about to excelsior something from 77 so tbh I'm even guiltier than you!)

STRIP DAN OF MOD POWERS NOW

the trick is never take louis seriously

especially on threads like 'i'm sad', 'EMO BLOG ENTRY' and 'quarterly luriqua-esque LJ breakdown rant'

sbed you again for all caps

wait, maybe I'm doing this wrong

the trick is not to write about how you like to do the sex on a public internet forum

LOL

yeah less chat more whatever i don't care

― long time listener, first time balla

i'd be less upset about this if i could erase the persistent mental image of lj tenderly boning tuomas from the front

they would frot first, I think

oh no no no no no no no no no no no

i'd be less upset about this if i could erase render, as a 3D model, the persistent mental image of lj tenderly boning tuomas from the front

tenderly

LJ me tender

omg hueg lols xxp

oh no no no no no no no no no no no

"... I'm a rocket man"

I didn't think it was possible to ruin tuomassundae.jpg but there you go

can one of you coder types scare up a version of shag ariadne that results in the realization of the above image if the player wins the game? thanks

"wins"

I will if you explain to my wife why I am spending all of my free time doing 3D renders of guys boning

actually wait, no, that has the potential for CATASTROPHE

hang on, I just went away for 5 minutes

um

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6ysl_lq7IU

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't laughing uproariously at this very moment, but you guys

omg dyao omg omg

everybody watch that video it is lols

that is what is more commonly known as "an epic win"

also: ugh

Gonna try scrubbing my brain with bleach and old razor blades when I get home.

i don't even know what to say

yeah this video

the looking-glass has been tenderly sodomised from the front

#
ndb3dgj
2 months ago
@shitnrun holy geez gimme a break. Did you watch the video ? I said I'd get into testicular deformation in another tutorial. You can't teach everything in 1 tutorial.

if I wasn't laughing my larynx out I'd be able to express how funny also it was just then to listen to the audio of this Youtube over the video of the British parliament I have on another tab

but nothing is as funny as the music in the last 15 seconds of the video

*John Redwood gesticulates*

"...and that's a pretty nice ballsack goin' on there!"

That's just a load of balls.

well this thread lasted a week

(worst drinks thread):

Those pictures are basically "20 Stoner Meals"

― he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves (snoball), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 23:57 (

I just picture Rosie constantly slapping something out of Larry's hands as he's about to eat it out of pure Rosie sanctimony.

― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 19:59 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Is she slapping it into her own mouth?

― Marni and Louboutin: coming to Tuesdays this fall on FOX (HI DERE), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 20:00 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"we'll get more into testicular deformation in another tutorial"

And where was all the BP hate when they were involved with paramilitaries in Colombia?

― textbook blows on the head (dowd), Wednesday, May 26, 2010 2:10 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

in Colombia

― The Clegg Effect (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, May 26, 2010 3:26 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

I would have voted for "Jesus Take The Wheel" over any of these

― in which we apologize for sobering up (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Suggest Ban Permalink
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 7:48 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that is because you are crazy

― Marni and Louboutin: coming to Tuesdays this fall on FOX (HI DERE), Wednesday, Suggest Ban Permalink
May 26, 2010 8:01 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

talk to the hand

the hand of Jesus

― in which we apologize for sobering up (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Suggest Ban Permalink
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 8:02 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pretty sure the hand of Jesus isn't a caterwauling harpy

― Marni and Louboutin: coming to Tuesdays this fall on FOX (HI DERE), Wednesday, Suggest Ban Permalink
May 26, 2010 8:07 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

but I have been wrong about stranger things

― Marni and Louboutin: coming to Tuesdays this fall on FOX (HI DERE), Wednesday, Suggest Ban Permalink
May 26, 2010 8:07 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pretty sure the hand of Jesus isn't a caterwauling harpy

I think we're buying acid from different dudes

― in which we apologize for sobering up (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Suggest Ban Permalink
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 8:09 AM Bookmark

Nintendo Helpline never let me down.

― no turkey unless it's a club sandwich (polyphonic), Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:35 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

are you sure that was actually the nintendo helpline

― antexit, Thursday, May 27, 2010 10:06 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

darraghmac always give me such great lols

in my version of that joke both parties die of starvation and are eaten by scavengers before they meet each other

― henceforth we eat truffle fries (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, May 28, 2010 1:16 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah, but don't let's dwell on yr failure as a standup comic, you're doing pretty good now man, it's a living, y'know, chin up.

― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Friday, May 28, 2010 1:25 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you don't understand, failed at comedy is the name of my dog

― henceforth we eat truffle fries (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, May 28, 2010 1:33 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i guess you really 'screwed the pooch' with that one.

― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Friday, May 28, 2010 1:35 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i can do w/out the ringing endorsements from has-been standups, if i'm honest. sayin.

uh :) etc.

It is the way, if you have it, that he tells them.

We're all here all week

All week, we're here

all of us

we're here

what key are we in here?

I picked a bad day to re-bookmark this thread.

I picked a bad day to start reading ILX again.

...don't call me Shirley.

you don't understand, Shirley is the name of the infinite void that's about to swallow the universe

no, that's excelsior

hey guy be careful of what you say about my wife.

Excelsior? I hardly knew her.

Jim never has a second Suggest Ban at home...

xp pretty sure this guy has transcended finnishness

finnished off.

crossed the finnish line

but you don't understand, the finnish line is my dog, and he's a pitbull terrier as well

The problem is that we're all quoting funny lines from different movies.

Sounds like a dog not to be crossed!

(x-post)

that we're all quoting funny lines from different movies is my other dog, who is both rabid and in heat

Sounds like a post not to be crossed.

(x-post)

xxpost so it's foaming from both ends?

i would think that the fact that she actually sells some records would be the thing that makes gaga the bigger star but what do i know

Real talk.

― I just wish he hadn't adopted the "ilxor" moniker (ilxor), Friday, 28 May 2010 01:32 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And make her more, shall we say, circumspect.

― Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 28 May 2010 01:40 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Naw dude, she doesn't have a cock, didn't you hear.

― kkvgz, Friday, 28 May 2010 01:44 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

RE: Janelle Monae and edited lightly for lolz

She is eclectic. Isn't that SunnO))) in the Tightrope video?
― Duran (Doran), Saturday, May 29, 2010 11:54 AM

Yeah I just hate it when running gags run throughout a movie. Also really hate refrains and choruses in songs. So lazy.

― LINGO FROM THE BURGER KING KIDS CLUB (latebloomer), Saturday, May 29, 2010 6:55 PM

wanna be a balla, shot calla, twenty-inch blades on Tame Impala

― ksh, Sunday, May 30, 2010 9:19 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

My cousin brought some cashews back from Brazil, and they were like 2x the size of cashews sold in U.S. stores. I am pretty sure if you eat those, you get a 1-up.

― breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Sunday, 30 May 2010 21:36 (1 hour ago)

charmparticles, my favourite band of 2008, are putting out a track a month this year. except they started five months into the year. the first two are now up though @ http://music.charmparticles.com/

― beach sluts (electricsound), Tuesday, June 1, 2010 1:49 AM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"charmparticles"

― L-ZD Drownsystem (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, June 1, 2010 2:11 AM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fuck off and die

― beach sluts (electricsound), Tuesday, June 1, 2010 2:11 AM (20 seconds ago)

What kind of person salts another human being?

― Nhex, Friday, 9 October 2009 05:23 (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sunny in philadelphia quote? what's the context?

I have no idea

Probabaly a hilariious mishearing of the word assault as salt.

"M.I.A. stared at the cherry-red Slurpee, slowly shifting from frozen to liquid in her styrofoam cup. 'This Slurpee reminds me of the blood of the innocent being slaughtered around the world. 7-11? More like 24-7." She takes a big sip. "I suppose that makes me a terrorist," she mutters, before dropping the cup into a fragrant trash bin lined with plastic and walking away, absentmindedly texting on her iPhone.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, June 1, 2010 1:24 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

A portrait of the artist...

i don't even know who deej and whiney are.

― by another name (amateurist), Thursday, June 3, 2010 6:19 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

a quality callback

At my university library the other day I caught a vagrant, snoring loudly on the window seat, using Richard Ellmann's Joyce bio as a pillow.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 00:27 (1 year ago) Bookmark

Typically Joycean, takes a year for the laugh to drop

intrigued by this "raw denim" thing - and i think that is what i have, they're called "dry" denim but that's tyhe same thing right? anyway i did a little web-huntin and found this tip on storing raw denim jeans: "The best, easiest storage is to unbuckle your jeans and leave them where they fall."

All I can say is, one step ahead of you, web page on the internet.

― The Clegg Effect (Tracer Hand), Friday, June 4, 2010 10:11 AM

I voted for the Baroness tee. I have mixed feelings about the band, but I love chubby women and fish.

― Otherwise you're kinda being comp-lit in his racism. (kkvgz), Friday, June 4, 2010 9:39 AM (35 minutes ago)

To Jess Harvell: "Entry of the Gladiators"
― doodleoodle, Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:11 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hmmm
― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:33 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

is that what will play when i enter the "boudoir"?
― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:35 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

because i was thinking more "theme to sanford and son".
― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:36 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Do I even want to know what you're using "boudoir" as a euphemism for?
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:37 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"dressing room at lane bryant"
― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, December 17, 2003 8:38 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Other people you could compare/contrast with M.I.A. include Akon, Kenna, and Wyclef. (Each of their backgrounds probably includes more proximity with poverty than major political violence, but Kenna grew up under a not-very-nice regime and Akon might have been around for a Senegal/Mauritania border war.)

― oɔsıqɐu (nabisco), Friday, June 4, 2010 9:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what about hitler

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, June 4, 2010 9:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I once started to write The Great American Novel, I was a paragraph in when it was pointed out that I wasn't American.

― louiiiis jjjjagger (S-), Monday, June 7, 2010 10:11 AM (59 minutes ago)

I keep interpreting that as LJ literally being the paragraph, like he physically embodied it.

This means I need coffee.

"I was a paragraph in Manhatten"...

(I have a coffee. And ginger biscuits to dunk)

i'm just saying "other places ppl read about music." The music hivemind is usually a snowball that creates itself via everything from the smallest blog to the biggest magazine. We're a very small part of it, but certainly part of it

― gorilla vs burrr (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, June 7, 2010 7:05 AM (1 hour ago)

sounds almost mystical tbh

― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Monday, June 7, 2010 7:09 AM (1 hour ago)

everything from the smallest snowflake.. to the most massive galaxy

― NUDE. MAYNE. (s1ocki), Monday, June 7, 2010 7:10 AM (1 hour ago)

we're all one cosmic snake eating its own ass

― da croupier, Monday, June 7, 2010 7:13 AM (1 hour ago)

http://www.spitorswallow.co.za/blowme.php

hahahahahahahaha

― Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Monday, 7 June 2010 22:14 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ no-one's clicking on that URL without explanation, dude.

― ailsa, Monday, 7 June 2010 22:23 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Tim said that he struggled to “find a way out of what looked like a really cloned and synthetic world that people get plugged into.” And just before graduating from high school*, in the spring of 2005, he found it. He met some young people who had found the boarded-up mansion on the West Side of Buffalo, which they hoped to take over and convert into a utopian safe haven for freegans and other dropouts. Mark and Ruth remember their son’s departure vividly. “That Friday night he came downstairs with a backpack, hugged, kissed us, got on his bike and moved,” Ruth says. “There was no stopping him.”

*In North Buffalo.

That Friday night he came downstairs with a backpack, hugged, kissed us, got on his bike and moved... to the other side of town.

― sinister chemical wisdom (Jenny), Monday, June 7, 2010 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I keep interpreting that as LJ literally being the paragraph, like he physically embodied it.

Except that wasnt LJ, it was S- :)

But if you're a super tiny, ant-sized, bacterium of an indie band you'd be without a relatively big platform for getting some new fans, which is a tearful, soul-grinding truth bomb to internalize.

― ksh, Wednesday, June 9, 2010 4:10 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so's my dick

― da croupier, Wednesday, June 9, 2010 4:12 AM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark

i thought my response to his response was pretty good

good 4 u

you should excelsior it tbh

I remember seeing something about a person doing a crazy fast/cleanse thing on a beach in Thailand where they claimed to have pooped out a marble that they remembered swallowing when they were a kid.

― joygoat, Wednesday, June 9, 2010 12:24 AM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

uhh I hope pooping on a beach in thailand is not a part of that cleanse

― ⚖ on my truck (dyao), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 12:27 AM (14 minutes ago)

nono this story is very much news - but they're both Would Stare At material for the internet intelligentsia

― Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Wednesday, 9 June 2010 10:33 (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

such an exclusive club

― doop snobby snobb (history mayne), Wednesday, 9 June 2010 10:35 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Stock songs Hollywood movies use for particular type of scenes

Pleasant Plains should drop whatever it is he does professionally and start soundtracking films.

"One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies for when the hero's daughter is forced to take meth while tied to a radiator.

― http://tinyurl.com/yzdrfva (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 7:49 AM (18 minutes ago)

I can't stop laughing...

On Tuesday Costello canceled two concerts in Israel this summer, due to what he calls the "grave and complex" sensitivities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Weren't there any grave and complex sensitivities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict when he scheduled the concerts?

― Beware, I Hongro! (onimo), Wednesday, 9 June 2010 14:04 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

Phew, close call for Israelis there

― Wenlock & Mandelson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 9 June 2010 14:05 (5 minutes ago) Permalink

PP on this thread

Stock songs Hollywood movies use for particular type of scenes

culminating in

"Born Free" by M.I.A. for when a reindeer equipped with a jet pack and Sidewinder™ missiles chases a bald guy over a forlorn desert landscape

― ⚖ on my truck (dyao), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:10 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Stereolab's "Motoroller Scalatron" for when the a group of friends prank the protagonist by putting rubber testicles on his pick-up truck right before he picks up his prom date.

― http://tinyurl.com/yzdrfva (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:12 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Cop Shoot Cop's "All the Clocks Are Broken" for when the younger sister sees the older sister kissing the local farm boy out on the porch swing.

― http://tinyurl.com/yzdrfva (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:14 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This was meant to be a genuine thread, take your parody elsewhere, please.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:14 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Anyway, back on the the thread subject:

* A chase scene taking place on the countryside (often accompanied by farm animals): "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" by Flatt and Scruggs.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:16 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"We Are the World" for when serious Finnish man fails to see the joke

― Wenlock & Mandelson (Tom D.), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:16 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"Eat It" by Weird Al for when the Russian schoolchildren starve to death in a WWII Finnish transfer camp.

― http://tinyurl.com/yzdrfva (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 10:23 AM Bookmark

A++++

Adding to the merriment is PP's display name, which what's up with that anyway?

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/08/12/gentlemen-broncos-poster.jpg

Huh.

"comes another unique view of the world"

wow that is a bad tagline

seriously

hahahahaha "from the director of Nacho Libre"

I will admit that I somewhat enjoyed Gentleman Broncos. It has some Napoleon Dynamite-type stuff but also has Jemaine Clement and Sam Rockwell who are both pretty amusing in it.

jemaine's james mason voice in the trailer is the #1 reason i'm actually going to rent it (sam rockwell #2)

that gif is now #3 though

afaict Jared Hess is a more boring Tommy Wiseau

The German's do have a poop shelf in their toilets and it's extremely disconcerting. I'm not sure it's specifically for that purpose although I'm not sure what other purpose it could serve tbh.

― o sh!t a ˁ˚ᴥ˚ˀ (ENBB), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 11:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it's for resting your beer on while you're pooping

― ⚖ on my truck (dyao), Thursday, June 10, 2010 12:05 AM (6 hours ago)

"What A Wonderful World" for when the elderly jazz musician looks out from an ornate balcony, sees the sun set over an crystalline aquamarine ocean and breathes deep in meditation.

― http://tinyurl.com/yzdrfva (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2010 00:06 (21 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Or planes hitting the World Trade Center, take your pick.

― http://tinyurl.com/yzdrfva (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2010 00:06

Sorry completely losing my shit at this.

can't stop crying?

I keep using that wolfhead, and the more I look at it, the more I think that's the hottest wolf I've ever seen

― fuck it, we're going to Olive Garden® (Z S), Thursday, 10 June 2010 03:00 (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I mean look at that wolfhead

― fuck it, we're going to Olive Garden® (Z S), Thursday, 10 June 2010 03:00 (11 hours ago)

this poll seems a liiiiittle lopsided!

What do you want for breakfast?
* your favorite breakfast food of all time, coupled with a warm conversation with good friends
* plain toast and an uncomfortable chair
* poop on a stick

― fuck it, we're going to Olive Garden® (Z S), Friday, 11 June 2010 01:20 (36 minutes ago)

Gentleman Broncos was probably the shittiest movie I saw in general release last year.

"Shoop" is awesome because it will make your girlfriend bump and grind all up on you.

Of course, "Shoop" is also dangerous because it will make your gay friends bump and grind all up on you, but that's mostly harmless.

― Image: electrostimulation applied on a penis (HI DERE), Tuesday, June 1, 2010 7:17 AM Suggest Ban Permalink
Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ah, college

― Image: electrostimulation applied on a penis (HI DERE), Tuesday, June 1, 2010 7:17 AM Suggest Ban Permalink
Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Thanks for the tip.

― Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, June 1, Suggest Ban Permalink
2010 7:18 AM Bookmark

this NSFW lol from sleepingbag gave me irl lols

Lonely guy just thinking baout things

poll of wifebeating heroes?

― darraghmac, Wednesday, 4 June 2008 15:12 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

........

9. Barrack Obama

-- darraghmac, Wednesday, 4 June 2008 15:22 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Pretty sure the Koran forbids spousal abuse.

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 4 June 2008 15:37 (2 years ago) Bookmark

-- darraghmac, Wednesday, 4 June 2008 15:22 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

???

That was Dom quoting Darragh 15 minutes laster.

watching from the dome of the 107" telescope on the 50th highest point in texas by the way. atmosphere not great.

― caek, Tuesday, June 15, 2010 4:14 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I read that as if you were somehow misusing a giant telescope to peer at a match on the other side of the globe

― That was Verbeek, that was (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, June 15, 2010 4:16 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

I think "your mama" insults are kinda common in the US too...? Anyway, even if it's a "Latin" thing, I wonder what are roots of it? I guess mothers are held in higher esteem in Latin countries than in Northern Europe, for example...

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 12:02 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Tuomas, your mother is held in high esteem by many, mainly me.

― Euler, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 12:08 (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a+++

idgi

your mum did

lol

lol ur mum jokes? in a thread about ur mum jokes?

cheap and easy, just like etc

almost as ironic as not being funny in the excelsior thread

ur mum jokes stopped being funny at about the stage when i began to realise that people's mums could be dead/addicts/incarcerated/institutionalised

tbh

As a child I once instinctively made a "your mom" joke while in a friend's kitchen, with his mom

jokes about anyone = not funny, by that reasoning

xpost

my younger brother makes hi-larious 'your mum jokes' while our mum is in the room

xp- it's not my usual reasoning or anything, y'know- i still hate feminists, minorities gays and liberals and all that. i'm still a fun guy!

they could all be dead or incarcerated or someone's mom

call it a personal thing i guess.

anyway, point being that 'ur mom' joke in a 'ur mom' discussion was meh.

dmac I know you are T-dog's biggest supporter and that is cool but that was quite sharp-witted imho

once in junior high school(!), i was at this kid's house and did a "your mom" joke while we we playing Starfox. He immediately ran downstairs and told his mom what I said. I don't think his mom was born in America, so I had to sit in the kitchen and calmly explain the culture of snaps. :/

xp nah it's not in defence of the zinged or anything, it was more of an excelsior police thing, which we all know everybody loves.

lol whiney.

I love that the right wing response is so dialed-in now that it'll be about an hour before we hear how this is Democratic dirty tricks to make nice Republicans seem crazy

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 14:42 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Seems the left wing response is so dialed-in that it can dismiss the right wing response an hour before it's even made.

― ======<() bzbzbzbzbzzbzbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbzbzzbzbzbzb (onimo), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 14:44 (21 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/7/2010/06/500x_chocolate.jpg

What is that from?

well, when a daddy chocolate loves a mummy chocolate very much

from Gawker hilariously reporting on a Scottish Sun report:

The Sun reports on an important developing story in Scotland: A "STUNNED" mother of two has discovered a chocolate "shaped like a WILLY" and is demanding an apology from its manufacturer, Cadbury's. "It is vile," she says. [The Scottish Sun]

i mean, usually, its like LOL CRAZY IDIOT THINKS STRAW LOOKS LIKE A DONG, but this has veins and everything.

she should be thanking them wtf

"It is vile," she says. "Take a picture of me with it in my hand" she adds.

hahahaha

lol

the gawker writer probably got it from ilx

Is there a thread for the rapid death of the newspaper industry?

get the dent to pony up for the server yo

YO NICK

"Woman doesn't understand foodstuff melting' would have been a more accurate headline but wouldn't have got the clickthroughs.

"tabloid invents excuse to run photo of chocolate vaguely shaped like penis, blog follows suit"

the gawker writer probably got it from ilx

just like your mom

the gawker writer probably got it from ilx

just like your mom

― stfü (crüt), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 20:50 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

im not going to force anyone to relocate to new hampshire--basically we will all die if we dont tho. i mean, in the long term.

― max, Tuesday, June 15, 2010 1:54 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

new hampshire's new state motto

― iatee, Tuesday, June 15, 2010 1:55 PM Bookmark

Those weird black tape-looking lines on the backs of the French kit are Gaultier-esque.

― If the US had a dictator we'd call him coach (Michael White), Thursday, 17 June 2010 19:43 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^it's the new "Techfit" adidas shirts, allegedly they "increase power by 5%" or some such bullshit

― dan m, Thursday, 17 June 2010 19:46 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Sounds like some e-mails I get.

― If the US had a dictator we'd call him coach (Michael White), Thursday, 17 June 2010 19:47 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

I'm not particularly bothered about being taken seriously, but one thing that's irked me is that a few times someone has referenced a point I've made and (perfectly innocently, I'm sure) attributed it to someone else. You can't really say anything about that without looking like a dick.

― rhythm fixated member (chap), Friday, June 18, 2010 11:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ned otm

― sent from my neural lace (ledge), Friday, June 18, 2010 11:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ i've done this to caek before, i'm sure

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Friday, June 18, 2010 11:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

like darraghmouse says, croupier makes a good point

― Gohamist (zvookster), Friday, June 18, 2010 11:17 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxfyPptviXo

lololoolol

looooooooooool

my fuckin ribs

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha :D

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

oh fuck

kind of lol but mostly LOL

JThomson1994
20 hours ago 2
Hi guys , i bought this from ebay thinking it was real and now i appear in court in september

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1iqu1loU11qz9muno1_500.jpg

they're kinda biting Z_S but only kinda

xp

oh hahahahaha

xp When you see it, you'll shit bricks...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Real chemistry between those two.

RIP "immortal" dog

shit can't save you from a copyright infringement claim

past tense films

loooooool

what was immortal dog ;_;

hahahahah immortal dog DOG BOX

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1937499

oh immortalpaws

video of the year, no question

best part is from when he knocks the bottle away from her to when they try to stuff the dog at the box and it gives the camera a wtf look

*in the box

best line is a narrow squeak between "The drink is for the dog" and "He doesn't trust you any more" but seriously they manage to fit about 50 genuinely funny things into 60 seconds which might be some sort of record

http://i49.tinypic.com/2rd7lgm.jpg

would have liked it a lot more if it wasn't for amputated paws ;_;

sigh HE GROWS THEM BACK, HE'S IMMORTAL

imagine an amputated paw being put in a blender - forever

OK holy shit that video is killing me.

you don't under stand, old woman pooping out of her face vagina is the name of my dog!

― retarded candle burning at both ends (dyao), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 1:52 PM (1 month ago)

this is the all-time king of these joeks btw

chick in dog video is WS bonus

"This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Past Tense Films LLC."

Oh but they left it up on CollegeHumor. http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1937499

I think I am missing something. I don't get why that video is supposed to be funny. It's just stupid imo.

Clearly you do not appreciate the impact of the font called "IMPACT".

D: Erica!

there's nothing funny about this dog vid. it's total pish.

its an ok tim & eric rip

I was already giggling, bu "He won't trust you now!" is what sealed the deal, couldn't help but burst into laughter. Brilliant!

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/fluxion23/ignore-the-dog-box.jpg

"When you get back to the car... HE'LL ALREADY BE THERE!"

jed, please point me to anything tim and eric did that's remotely funny as this. Note: yelling "diarrhea" is not funny, thx

hope we can get into an objective standards of humor fight on the excelsior thread, that'll be really useful and illuminating

ur wrong, and i'll tell you why in full detail

i don't know who tim and eric are so i'm sorry but i can't point you anywhere.

tim doesn't post here anymore but eric's still around AFAIK

I still don't get it. Oh well. :/

Don't worry ENBB, you are not alone. I found it only mildly amusing at best.

we're still waiting jed

patience s1ocki, i'm balls-deep in research here. want to choose the right vid.

i meant tim and eric stan s10cki, btw. show me something funny those guys have done because either a) You're totally fucking wrong or b) I just haven't seen the right video. And I'm not ruling B out.

I mean, even Whitest Kids U Know have one funny sketch iirc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klenZymUCGg

I vaguely remember that immortal dog guy's voice from some other internet video that I also found stupid...what am I thinking of?

power something? I dunno it was basically the same thing

found it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

this is like, surrealist humor for beginners or something?

that one wasn't nearly as funny

i thought immortal dog was pretty funny, definitely more funny now that people dont like it

whiney's ws comment was most questionable part of debate

i thought immortal dog was pretty funny, definitely more funny now that people dont like it

otm, brings lols @ these guys:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jWkmcNTRKFc/Swk62VUScoI/AAAAAAAAB84/ujpIFSQdQoE/s1600/nothing.gif

its like when people love something they consider underrated and feel the need to proclaim it like some accomplishment ;)

^^^ underrated post

^^^
ilx = itslikewhenpeoplelovesomethingtheyconsiderunderratedandfeeltheneedtoproclaimitlikesomeaccomplishment.com

The energy drink one is still funnier than about half of the past few season's SNL skits.

^^^ and really what could be stronger praise than that

I almost added a "for what that's worth" but decided that was obvious. I'm just saying it's hardly the worst "comedy" out there.

im about to put all of you in the dog box and ignore what you have to say tbh

guys

whiney this is my current favourite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmNeXu5xIDY

Just made the fettucine alfredo from the Urban Vegan, it is so quick and easy and very tasty (though it could be a bit richer/more savory). Female and gay vegans: does anyone else think that nutritional yeast smells like ripe dick? I mean not that it disgusts me or anything, it just always catches me off guard.

― cynthia batter blaster (Stevie D), Monday, June 21, 2010 5:59 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

uh.

that Tim and Eric sketch had me lolling a little btw - at least, it's explained some of NRQ's recent behaviour

Yeah not really feeling immortal dog either. Seems like a variation on a pretty tired formula (crazy shouty announcer's voice, unlikely subject for infomercial, injection of "evil" into something that's normally artificially wholesome, etc.)

Dying at that Stevie post

^^^yeah it's amazing

wondering how one could be caught off guard by ripe dick? Generally it's consistent with the rest of a dude's odor ime.

he is being caught off guard by the ripe dick smell of nutritional yeast which afaik is not a dude

oh right, that happens to me all the time.

No you don't understand, "ripe dick smell of nutritional yeast" is the name of my bf.

Hahaha.

The Mighty Putty Dub is my favourite fake infomercial - think it was first posted here on a noise board lol thread

(contains swears)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_4a4O7kXQo

"a fuckin chain, why not?"

fuckin arts and crafts, whatever, I don't even

so, so classic

their shamwow parody is also classic

cars...boats...bigger cars...

optimus prime couldn't break this shit!

Hahahah omg! "fuckin arts and crafts I don't even... ok, mail"

Love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQssF0v8_I4&feature=related

rhinestones, rhinestones, fucking rhinestones!

happy fun ball did it first did it best

kids, please

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwFbiC7dqH0

sorry, sl0ck, not feelin that T&E at all. I think i'm too old or not-stoned to like them or something

Is there like a website that documents all the pre-internet "tape-trading" cult videos like Big Bill Hell's and Metallica Drummer and the death metal band playing for all the handicapped people?

i hate T&E almost as much as Whiney, but i'm fine with the stuff they do where it's someone else who's actually funny onscreen and not them (like the Paul Rudd's computer thing or the Old Spice commercials with Terry Crews).

NV wins

Does anyone mind if I use this T&E conversation as an example of why people should only post funny things people have actually done on the board to these threads as opposed to any random funny thing they encounter on the Internet?

MODS SHOOK

sorry that's just kind of a reflex these days

tbf, i'm trying to actually be open-minded about it for a change instead of my usually, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY, YOU'RE AN IDIOT" posts

I know, but that's beside the point of "endless discussions about what is funny aren't funny" and it's maybe slightly bearable on this thread when it's about stuff done here, which is what these threads are actually about, rather than other people's professional work, which usually only appears here when someone posts it to another thread on the board.

Does anyone mind if I use this T&E conversation as an example of why people should only post funny things people have actually done on the board to these threads as opposed to any random funny thing they encounter on the Internet?

I think the Noise Board funny threads are OK with YouTubes and other non-ILX laffs.

Noise board funny threads aren't ILE Excelsior threads.

they're actually funny

can we post a pic of the french national team here tho?

not unless Ned Raggett is on the french national team

^ open invitation to someone blessed with photoshop ^

Dan OTM, excelsior threads are about ilx posts and always have been, there's always a hundred other threads for funny YouTubes and stuff

thread police putting the fun back in funny threads

Ragget = Ramos/Puyol

<3 suarez (even tho he's cheaty)

half-time in the uruguay game, and daniel sturridge has just signed for chelsea

thread police putting the fun back in funny threads

sorry, didn't mean to derail the awesomely hilarious and entertaining "Are Tim & Eric funny?" conversation

np

I'm not sure a breezy 'np' covers it, think HI DERE maybe ought to get some kind of formal warning at least?

Does anyone mind if I use this T&E conversation as an example of why people should only post funny things people have actually done on the board to these threads as opposed to any random funny thing they encounter on the Internet?

man I couldn't agree with this more - excelsior thread is for when somebody posts something funny. we could have a "funny internet shit you were gonna see elsewhere anyway" thread if we wanted but to me excelsior thread about it "maybe you didn't read this thread where this one guy said fuck washing a hat."

yeah that's a classic imo

excelsior thread is for when somebody posts something funn

son, have you ever *read* an excelsior thread?

it is my all-time favorite post anywhere, sharing exalted space with I AM OWL MAN. and "hate all the people that dis them but shot all the people who like them"

son, have you ever *read* an excelsior thread?

yeah they used to be people posting shit they thought were funny. then in excelsior 2.0 ppl started excelsior'ing each other's posts as a way of saying "I love you man" and that sucked but there was a heavy crossover between ppl who'd do that & ppl who'd get banned/suggest-banned so the problem ironed itself out. then people started posting this month's equivalent of peanut butter jelly time. that sucked, bring back "excelsior is for posts somebody thought were funny."

like for example here is something I lol'd @ that was posting on ilx; therefore, it belongs here.

The amazing thing about it is there’s no complaints from McChrystal or his staff about the administration on any substantive ground. After all, McChrystal and his allies won the argument within the White House. All the criticisms — of Eikenberry, of Jones, of Holbrooke, of Biden — are actually just immature and arrogant snipes at how annoying Team America (what, apparently, McChrystal’s crew calls itself) finds them. This is not mission-first, to say the least.

http://attackerman.firedoglake.com/2010/06/22/mcchrystal-apologizes-but-the-question-remains-defrock-the-pope/

― curmudgeon, Tuesday, June 22, 2010 3:47 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Team America

― curmudgeon, Tuesday, June 22, 2010 3:47 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hahahahaha oh boy

wait, they're actually in charge of shit

;_;

― HI DERE, Tuesday, June 22, 2010 3:49 PM (30 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

underaero just doesn't have the same air of authority TOMBOT would have brung to this partic table imo

son, have you ever *read* an excelsior thread?

is THIS meant to be funny?

dude calling someone a decade older than him "son" is kind of funny

meta thread goes meta: news at 11

it's meant to make you think about the power of language and indoctrination, the relationship between the hopeful and the oppressive aspects of faith, and the way our confused and blurry childhood (mis)understandings of these things continue to echo around inside us despite the wisdom we accumulate with years, son

xpost

had this exchange occurred elsewhere, I would have excelsiored it

then again, I exclesior everything

"sonned" by ultra nate dogg in an excelsior beef

this is what free tertiary education leads to imo

ilx has gotten so feisty lately

mmm tertiary beef

can everyone just . . . hold up

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

ilx has gotten so feisty lately

― iatee, 22 June 2010 15:56 (22 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

srsly? this is squabbles in the professor's lounge over the last musty sandwich compared to the good ole days

haha no kidding, no one has actually cursed anyone out or brought up some ridiculous old off-board drama yet

Old ilx was so meeeeaaannn!

it was fun tho.

i feel like a minor nazi left moaning to his kids in argentina

my least favorite thing is when the excelsior thread becomes people commenting on it/joining in because that's where the action is instead of COPYING AND PASTING FUNNY SHIT PEOPLE WERE SAYING ON OTHER THREADS. In order to make this post less of a problem, I am going to post it some old thread nobody cares about first.

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Tuesday, June 22, 2010 4:01 PM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

darragh on a metaphor roll imo

by "old ilx" you guys mean "2007" i guess

fml

Old ilx was so meeeeaaannn!

― kkvgz, Tuesday, June 22, 2010 11:59 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
it was fun tho.

i feel like a minor nazi left moaning to his kids in argentina

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Tuesday, June 22, 2010 12:01 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That was actually a paraphrase of some meta-beef from back in the day, iirc.

I was thinking more 2002 but yeah, meanness is cyclical

no, technology is cyclical

sorry, meanness is rhomboid

'rhomboid girls'

yeah nobody's gonna queue to see that, come up with something snappier

HI DERE I demand the lol I have earned for which thread that "nobody cares about" I revived and posted my to-be-excelsior'd post on

thread police now demanding special direct lol acknowledgement: details to follow

I was distracted by you quoting yourself FROM THE FUTURE ZOMG

haaaahahaha

http://www.big-t-shirts.com/ProdImages/big/792.jpg

looooool sarahel

lol @ u, looooooling whiney's jpg

you clever fucker

man I couldn't agree with this more - excelsior thread is for when somebody posts something funny. we could have a "funny internet shit you were gonna see elsewhere anyway" thread if we wanted but to me excelsior thread about it "maybe you didn't read this thread where this one guy said fuck washing a hat."

Maybe this was intentional, Aerosmith, and I'm just dense, but "fucking washing a hat" was a copy-and-paste from elsewhere.

sheesh

Didn't aerosmith coin the phrase "fuck washing a hat"?

lol no! I am just the guy who will never not be laughing @ this:

Author Topic: Cleaning hats?

posted April 25, 2004 03:06 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I need a way to clean a fitted without fucking it up.

posted April 25, 2004 03:11 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wet rag & Oxy Clean shit's good as new. Cold water tho.

posted April 25, 2004 03:57 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yo i put a flexfit kangol through the dishwasher with one of those platic hat cages and the shit never was the same

dont be a cheap ass, just buy a new fucking hat and have more than one favorite hat, you got to switch your style up, that way you always looking fresh

fuck washing a hat

LC on Tuesday, 27 April 2004 10:02 (2 years ago)

that exchange : me :: any whiney zing : ksh

Maybe this was intentional, Aerosmith, and I'm just dense, but "fucking washing a hat" was a copy-and-paste from elsewhere.

umm I don't think it was, I think it was original ilx material

fuck washing a hat! (you can't help yourself from wa-shin') fuck washing a hat! (you can't help yourself at all)

goin with "washing on a hat" just to preserve the cadences but still lol'ing

wow @ jaymc being totally rong about ilx history

Janie's Washed a Hat

i miss omar little

"Fuck washing a hat" was definitely an original ILX quote, from the ILX poster LeCoq, taken from a thread about washing hats.

Oh sorry, I didn't notice John already quoted it above.

You guys should all start knitting & then join a knitting group because you have no many idea how many appropriate & joyful opportunities to say, out lout, to people you love, "Fuck washing a hat." Every time I say it in context, it's pure pleasure.

I encouraged my partner to buy a hat specifically to increase my chances of legitimately being able to say this.

p sure le coq was posting a discussion from another board

"Fuck washing a hat" was definitely an original ILX quote, from the ILX poster LeCoq, taken from a thread about washing hats.

There was a thread about washing hats? Because the first thing that comes up when you search "fuck washing a hat" within ILX is the Excelsior thread. Also there was an ILX thread with a title that began "Author Topic:"??

xp Exactly.

it was a real thread. there's a whole thread of people talking about how it can't be found in the archives anymore, maybe it was on the sandbox or it was one of those threads that got lost during one of those glitchy periods, but it was a thread. i remember reading it when it happened. plus if LC c&p'd it from somewhere else, wouldn't you be able to find it?

can't believe i remember all this, but i'm positive LC said he'd pulled it from some other board

i think he put it on one of the first, if not THE first excelsior thread? maybe the one that wasn't even called 'excelsior' (this is where i feel my soul draining away btw) and he was apologetic that it wasn't from here but thought it was funny anyway

haha this is real "print the legend" stuff

or maybe not

lecoq was funny as hell imo

fuck washing a hat was from another board where dude was giving advice on cleaning a baseball cap in a dishwasher and another guy said 'fuck washing a hat'

― and what, Friday, 18 May 2007

i know the orig "fuck washing a hat" was lecoq (or maybe ramosi) posting something from another board... maybe on the very first excelsior thread? i'll be damned if i can get it to turn up, tho.

― gff, Friday, March 7, 2008 1:50 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Author Topic: Cleaning hats?

posted April 25, 2004 03:06 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I need a way to clean a fitted without fucking it up.

posted April 25, 2004 03:11 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wet rag & Oxy Clean shit's good as new. Cold water tho.

posted April 25, 2004 03:57 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yo i put a flexfit kangol through the dishwasher with one of those platic hat cages and the shit never was the same

dont be a cheap ass, just buy a new fucking hat and have more than one favorite hat, you got to switch your style up, that way you always looking fresh

fuck washing a hat

LC on Tuesday, 27 April 2004 10:02 (2 years ago)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, March 7, 2008 1:55 PM

i feel like i've seen a jpeg of the o.g. forum discussion but maybe that was a mock-up or a dream

oh for chrissake

xp

this thread was doomed with this title, let's face it

huh maybe i only remember seeing the og excelsior thread? the post is so close to LC's posting style i just assumed it was him.

zvookster otm

i'm pretty sure the original 'fuck washing a...' quote was about gear's roommates white couch?

plus if LC c&p'd it from somewhere else, wouldn't you be able to find it?

Lots of shit from 2004 doesn't exist anywhere but in the Wayback Machine.

this thread is like three threads sewn together mouth-to-anus

That last thread is pretty thin, though.

this thread is like three threads sewn together mouth-to-anus

― The Black Keys - white boys can still throw down (crüt), Tuesday, June 22, 2010 3:23 PM (53 minutes ago)

LC had a bizarre habit at one point of excelsioring completely random shit from other forums. I pulled him up on it a couple times and he ignored me.

Still, fuck washing a hat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od8dLNBihAM

HA!

forks that is worth 1000 horribly formed "jokes"

^^^

anything mean I ever said to you I retract

that exchange : me :: any whiney zing : ksh

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Tuesday, June 22, 2010 4:32 PM (4 hours ago)

hahahaaaa

if those dead sea scroll guys ever dig up that flipside interview with jesus, we're in for a shocker.

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 12:48 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

I can't get the phrase "ripe dick" out of my head

The Kylie b-side they tried to ban.

lol Trayce <3

Seriously now all I can think about is Kylie singing "ripe dick" in a sultry voice OH GOD MAKE IT STOP.

on the marketing of masculinity thread try doing a ctrl+f for mancave and mentally replace with the phrase "ripe dick storage" or "ripe dick cave". it'll take you places

see Trayce, I'm thinking of a rhyme for "ripe dick" and imagining it in a ke$ha song - basically autotuned ripe dick.

what have I done

thanking you for sn, sarah

Stevie, you can redeem yourself by coming up with a rhyme for ripe dick

e.g. you think i'm just a cheap trick, but i won't suck your ripe dick

think i found a deer tick, on your hairy ripe dick

or getting baked and my mouth feels thick and now you want me to suck your ripe dick

no amount of speed stick can hide the smell of ripe dick

thrown off by that lady bic after i smelt some ripe dick

we're gettin' in the shower
cuz i don't smell like a flower
and you got a ripe dick
steam is getting pretty thick

baby gonna need the heimlich
somethin somethin about my ripe dick

arby's you could go with the simple "chokin'"

it felt too aggressive

oh fuck where is lj, we need him now

pullin off my underwear, feel the underoos stick
city cut the water off, got myself a ripe dick

ripe dick
getting slick
aggravating the nick
from my ball shavin' trick

I slang with my ripe dick
I bang with my ripe dick
All up in the club spittin game with my ripe dick

all you bitches who ain't never sucked ripe dick
i'm tellin' yo' asses it's supercalifragilistic

ripe fruit falling when the north winds blow
ripe dick heavy when the branch hangs low

ripe game easy but the dick game gravy

ripe dick loves me
yes, ripe dick loves me
ripe dick loves me
cuz the bible tells me so

my ripe diiiick
unthinkable sight, iiick
such a friiiight
in the niiiight
what's it liiiike
gettin hit, an' bit, an' shit
by my riipppe diiiick
(female chorus) "soooo siiiick"

your own personal ripe dick
something to hear your prayers
something that cares

i don't care if i'm really carsick
as long as i got my plastic ripe dick

ripe dick bad
ripe dick hood
ripe dick do stuff that your dick wish it could

there once was a man with a ripe dick
who thought he'd found his true sidekick
but she ran for the hills
for the smell caused her ills
well i guess we know he wasn't psychic

let's have some fun this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your ripe ripe dick

^like this one because it is a vivid re-imagining that retains the song's original message

would also like to alter my last to go well i guess we know he's no psychic cuz that just flows better.

would also like to alter my last to go well i guess we know he's no psychic cuz that just flows better.

no, original draft was better

Pele speaks "ripe dick", Sister Zina says "funky" / How bizarre

OK what the hell I go to lunch for an hour and THIS happens.

It's not ripe / but it's ok

OK what the hell I go to lunch for an hour and THIS happens.

interestingly, this was the remark made by the first person ever to be diagnosed with ripe dick syndrome

everything / in its ripe dick

Oh god *hysterics*

You know when it’s ripe,
You know when you feel it, baby
You hold it, you hear it, you taste it,
It’s right
Diet Pepsi
Uh huh!
Uh huh!
You got the ripe dick, baby!
(Uh huh)
Ooh, yeah!
(Uh huh! Diet Pepsi)
If it’s irresistibly sippable,
Incontestably tasteful and imminently wonderful
You got the ripe dick, baby
(Uh huh!)
(You got the ripe dick, baby!)
You know when it’s ripe,
you know it’s tasty
(You got Diet Pepsi, uh huh!)
Uh huh!
(Uh huh!)
Uh huh!
You got the ripe dick!
If it’s irrepressibly lovable, unsurpassably colorful and imminently soulful,
You got the rpe dick, baby!
(Uh huh!)

http://i50.tinypic.com/3310x1v.jpg

Who's got ripe dick today? Who's got ripe dick in every way?

No cleanliness can win my love / it's ripe dick that I'm thinking of

If you ain't no punk holla we want ripe dick
WE WANT RIPE DICK! yeah!

How you like this thread NOW, HI DERE?

everyone stop it

well slather my tonsils in ripe dick
could HI DERE truly not like it?
there's so much LOL
EXCELSIORED for all
but maybe he'd prefer a rolled rick

so are we allowed to have debates on whether stuff is funny anymore, cause this shit is not funny

you guys are batting like 0/30 with this

what about my cool ray charles gag

like this is the first incredibly unfunny shit that ILX has gone nuts over. remember that 'lysol douche' crap?

somebody make 'immortal ripe dick' youtube infomercial to make whiney lol

theres this thing where going nuts is meant to elevate things that aren't funny. that is how "hen fap" made it through.

http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858701024/

hen fap made it through via low level grass roots campaigning

remnants of the british ruling class

*rolls eyes* @ olds - that parody youtube was funny

doesnt belong in this thread tho

grim thread.

eh it felt close enough to fizzling by the time haters showed up whatever

these threads always crash and burn

usually its louis' fault

grip
pipe.
slick,
like.
lick,
wipe.
dick,
ripe.
gripe.

so are we allowed to have debates on whether stuff is funny anymore, cause this shit is not funny

Whiney gets home for the evening, puts in the obligatory humor cop routine that the judge ordered him to do, goes to bed

good look Whiney

SHART SHART SHART SHART SHART LYSOL DOUCHE HEN FAP HAHAHAHAH

dude do you seriously have that big a blind spot that you can't see that "the thing you guys found amusing isn't amusing" is 1000x lamer than the lamest joke ever made

but if you're taking requests I'd like to put in for "all this stuff was way better when I was a kid"

stfu, go bother miccio

that thing that whiney does, where he pretends to be the person he's making fun of and then juxtaposes a bunch of random tropes in all caps, that's pretty funny

posts very much in character

SHART SHART SHART SHART SHART LYSOL DOUCHE HEN FAP HAHAHAHAH

― ripecock (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 11:07 PM (7 minutes ago)

just fyi I am never locking this thread

Slayer: two Latinos and a Jew (Kerry King). Granted, the other guy is about as Aryan as you can get and is obsessed with Nazi imagery, but what are you gonna do.

― Chicago to Philadelphia: "Suck It" (Bill Magill), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 9:38 AM

not be obsessed with nazi imagery

― max, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 9:39 AM

whiney wins because the dn "ripecock" > any other ripe dick joke in this thread

Were these ripe dick posts all c&p'd from other ILX threads?

hen fap made it through via low level grass roots campaigning

also, because it's something that you need to have

Just curious in a stupid way, the Nazis co-opted the swastika, is it now unreco-optable?

― I suck as an individual not because I'm a (Michael White), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 10:25 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ guilty of being Michael White

― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 10:26 AM (33 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Slayer: two Latinos and a Jew (Kerry King). Granted, the other guy is about as Aryan as you can get and is obsessed with Nazi imagery, but what are you gonna do.

― Chicago to Philadelphia: "Suck It" (Bill Magill), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 1:38 PM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not be obsessed with nazi imagery

― max, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 1:39 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Slayer: two Latinos and a Jew (Kerry King). Granted, the other guy is about as Aryan as you can get and is obsessed with Nazi imagery, but what are you gonna do.

― Chicago to Philadelphia: "Suck It" (Bill Magill), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 1:38 PM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not be obsessed with nazi imagery

― max, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 1:39 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

just fyi I am never locking this thread

― "holiday season u shrimps!" (HI DERE), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 7:20 AM (1 hour ago)

HAHA I'M UNDERATED AERSOMITH THE JOKE POLICE POLICE I REPAET THINGS FUCK YOU MICCIO ALSO LOAD YOUR GEAR IN A HOTEL TORCHE BLACK METAL BLACK METAL HI

whiney if your ativan has run out you can borrow some of mine

heehee

HAHA I'M UNDERATED AERSOMITH THE JOKE POLICE POLICE I REPAET THINGS FUCK YOU MICCIO ALSO LOAD YOUR GEAR IN A HOTEL TORCHE BLACK METAL BLACK METAL HI

― ripecock (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 10:45 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

who is miccio

whiney if your ativan has run out you can borrow some of mine

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 10:46 AM (48 seconds ago) Bookmark

Slayer: two Latinos and a Jew (Kerry King). Granted, whiney if your ativan has run out you can borrow some of mine

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I "Suck It" (Bill Magill), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 1:38 PM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

who is miccio

― quick fast like Rommedahl (zvookster), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 2:47 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

tight end for pittsburgh iirc

ho ho

what's really messed up is that, from what I can tell, I am actually more embarrassed about having rhymed "land of dust and steel" with "nothing is quite real" in lyrics when I was 17 than Ian MacKaye is about having written "Guilty of Being White"

― oɔsıqɐu (nabisco), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:14 PM

God bless nabisco for actually being willing to quote his 17-year-old self - the average time between me discovering something I wrote when I was young & that thing I wrote being literally committed to flame is +/- 30 seconds

The argument needs to be that we shouldn't support Israel because that support is itself ethically problematic. Not because it upsets someone.

― Mordy, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:15 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

people have come up with that argument too, though

― iatee, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:16 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I mean that's actually the more common argument

― iatee, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:18 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, but that's a different discussion (one for the Israel thread). I'm just saying that this other argument (we encourage terrorism by doing X, Y or Z) is a poor argument and shouldn't be used. The threat of retributive force shouldn't dictate our decisions, some kind of ethics should dictate our decisions.

― Mordy, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:19 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

let me clarify two ethical questions for everyone: it is ethical to give HI DERE & me 1 mansion each, the rest of you can go hang

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:20 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I, for one, find that to be very ethical (assuming I can have your mansion)

― "holiday season u shrimps!" (HI DERE), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:20 PM (51 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

can I have an RV or something?

― iatee, Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:20 PM (42 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes you may park it in HI DERE's driveway & if he doesn't like it then there will be an awesome war

― get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Wednesday, June 23, 2010 3:21 PM (13 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Hi thread? you seem to have forgotten your meds. Maybe u shd all try taking some more.

this is an irrational knee-jerk reaction on my part, but i was kind of upset at jamer mercer for kicking that other guy out of the shins. that guy wound up opening a taco stand in new mexico, when he clearly wanted to stay with the band! seemed wrong.

― Daniel, Esq., Thursday, 24 June 2010 12:26 (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah but those tacos will change your life.

― Landon Donovan Glory (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 June 2010 12:27 (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

omg

Surely good tacos are better than any band? Can't think of any band I would listen rather than eat nice tacos.

i like this new sassy tuomas

i just like the word sassy

http://idratherbeworking.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/legally-blonde-2-m04.jpg

tuomato sass in yr tacos

Music vs Food poll - did this already happen or would it just break ILX

salsa > salsa

wtf u crazy man salsa >>>>> salsa how is this even a thing?

ps u racist

smh at dudes repping for salsa over salsa itt

uh i think i covered that pancakes, mind your business pls

i mn rly

t/s Rock vs Rock

t/s regular fries vs regular fries

salsa > pop > rock

drumsticks vs bass

pop over-rated imo

Fish > Fish, obv

so has anyone seen anything funny on youtube lately?

don't wanna be cluttering up the Excelsior thread with funny stuff

we should post funny stuff from the excelsior thread somewhere else

are there any boards lying empty and unloved that we could use?

I Love Football

http://store.objectivo.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/f/i/file_18_3.jpg

More "Religion is my football" on this board tbh

or possibly on other, religious themed boards maybe?

Not sure we're seeing the same metaphor tbh.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/48167000/jpg/_48167555_fans466.jpg

― caek, Thursday, June 24, 2010 12:24 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LOVED YOU IN THE BICYCLE THIEF

― Kiitën (admrl), Thursday, June 24, 2010 12:25 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol!

ha!

I'd offer Mark Ronson such courtesy if he wasn't a dude whose face I'd happily use as a bidet

― Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:35 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Today was going so well, and now I have a really horrible image in my head. Thanks, dude :-(

― ailsa, Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:36 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am not sure you understand how bidets work

― Opinions are a lot like assholes. You've got LOTS of BOTH of them. (HI DERE), Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:36 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

unless you do actually mean you want Mark Ronson to spit water up your asscrack and taint

― Opinions are a lot like assholes. You've got LOTS of BOTH of them. (HI DERE), Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:37 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

his TEARS, dude

his tears

― Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:38 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

...

so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass...?

― Opinions are a lot like assholes. You've got LOTS of BOTH of them. (HI DERE), Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:39 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am not sure you've thought this through

― Opinions are a lot like assholes. You've got LOTS of BOTH of them. (HI DERE), Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:39 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

hahahaha holy shit

at least it was a bidet and not one of those European toilets with poop shelves

tbh i might use mark ronson for a poop shelf

please refer to the shelf by its proper name i.e. "fragrant platform"

it's spelled "platfourme" in england i think

a rype dicke on a fragrainte platfourme