cinema etiquette - what do you want when you sit in your seat?

*obstructing your sightlines
*knees in the back of your seat, basically replicating how you would watch a dvd in the comfort of your own home

Silence and stillness. I didn't pay ten bucks to watch assholes with bad raisin'...well, I probably did, but I'm here to see those attention whores, not those other attention whores.

this poll seems a liiiiittle lopsided!

What do you want for breakfast?
* your favorite breakfast food of all time, coupled with a warm conversation with good friends
* plain toast and an uncomfortable chair
* poop on a stick

go down streatham odeon in south london, esp at the weekend, and poop on a stick is what youre gonna get.

The biggest reason to not go to theaters, other than the price (okay that's like 98% of why I don't) is the impossibility of attaining the top option. Ideally watching a DVD at home should be like the top option too. Who the fuck would want murmuring during movie?

Also eating needn't always be bothersome either.

caught someone eating bread & hummus with a side of olives in the cinema once

depends. for comedies and horror flicks, it's great to have an amped, enthusiastic audience, lots of laughing and screaming and screen participation, etc. for most everything else, i want relative silence.

i rarely have trouble with loud/loutish audiences, though. mostly i want unobstructed views, comfy seats that i can lean back in without crushing anyone's knees, and a middle seat that's not too close, not too far back. and room for my friends. which basically means avoiding the big, popular movies during their first few weeks. steeply raked theaters with plush seating = A+++

don't mind eating, not a fan of talkativeness.

i expect to be gouged at the concession stand and insulted by the trailers, also.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms7hUR1CeSI

I want people to laugh at the funny bits, and maybe gasp and the scary/shocking bits. Other than that, silence, so I guess I'll click the middle one.

part of the appeal for me for seeing a movie in the theater is observing the other people watching the movie. sometimes the behavior of the other audience members is more interesting than the movie.

tampoopoo on a stick

I can be tolerant, except for the case where the dude in front of me answered his phone and kept talking and explaining the movie. Ok, it was some climactic action scene in the third Matrix movie, which sucked and I should not have been there, but fucking a, people. Not only that but he hung up the phone for a sec, and against audience glares picked it up and did the same shit 30 secs later.

I hope your popcorn had feces on it, dude.

i don't mind people eating/drinking, as long as they're not loud or gross about it.

the worst thing is when people come in after the movie has started, and they make a big production out of finding a seat, step on your feet to pass you in the row, etc. if you have to show up late, just sit in the first seat you find and do it quickly.

also it would be nice if everyone would visit the restroom *before* the show starts. just sayin.

people who answer their phones during a movie are the lowest strata of disgusting savages

Irrevocably otm.

Am also not at all into the incessant text messaging that some people engage in whilst in the cinema, because the ghastly glow of yr fucking phone screen every 45 seconds really helps to keep me "in the moment" of filmic appreciation...

the other day a guy sitting a few seats down from me took his shoes off before the feature. it had been raining all day and the odor of this guy's bare feet filled the room. i really think there's a special circle of hell for ppl like that.

I hate people who talk and do other loud stuff in the movies, but on the other I also hate cinema snobs who demand absolute silence and devotion when watching a movie. I've seen such snobs scold other viewers for eating candy with wrappers, and me and a friend were once scolded by a snob I know because we laughed at inappropriate moments while watching Nosferatu. (I guess it was just impossible for her to understand that if you're watching a silent horror movie from the 20s without any musical accompaniment, it might come across as unintentionally goofy.) Cinema is a collective experience, if you want to see movies in a total seclusion, watch them at home. I have no problem with the appropriate audience reactions (screaming, laughing, crying), and candy eating is okay too.

once sat one row behind a guy with the most stinky, foul, gut-wrenching BO. this was during Tokyo Story.

I'm kind of on the fence about laughing during movies - on one hand I do realize it may be annoying but otoh it's a totally natural and at times uncontrollable reaction. I got kind of p/o'd at some people once for laughing during the final scene of Friday Night Lights, heartless bastards! but I was also once told to 'shut the fuck up' by this aspie kid during the first scene of Inglourious Basterds. *shrug*

>the odor of this guy's bare feet filled the room

No words for this. I wouldn't even do that at home, ON MY OWN.

Have been guilty of a few inappropriate guffaws myself, so I don't get bent out of shape if others do it. Not against quiet consumption of food etc either, my biggest problem is really with people being thoughtless wankers and actually talking/loudly slurping/texting/kicking seats and the like.

My local indie cinema is invariably mostly empty (except for Wednesdays, obv) and I tend to go at odd times, so if I sit at the front it does basically feel like I've got the whole place to myself. It's awesome.

once sat one row behind a guy with the most stinky, foul, gut-wrenching BO. this was during Tokyo Story.

Smell-o-vision

I try and avoid the busy times, can't be doing with queues and packed theatres. If it's a new release and i can't wait, i'll pay extra for the posh seats above and away from the commoners, it's called "the gallery" where there are no under 18's allowed no matter what the film rating. It has big comfy leather chairs, free nacho's, popcorn and soft drinks, there is a seating area with a bar while you wait and you can take beers into the film. All the times i've used this, i've never had any problems with people talking as everyone pays that little extra to get away from that.

My last cinema trip was notable because (British assigned seating system, this) massively entitled posh people nearly made a giant scene because they felt we were in 'their' seats. They would not be dissuaded from this belief until an usher intervened and pointed out they'd turned up a day early, as shown on their tickets. At which point, the poshies tried to glare us out of the seats anyway because oh, this is inconvenient but we ignored them until they harrumphed and swept off as if the world was supposed to apologize to THEM.

what cinemas have galleries?

im a bit tired of asking people to stop talking. seem to be doing it loads in the last month or so. sometimes people act surprised/embarassed - as they should - other times, like the other day, this teenage kid acted like i was taking a liberty asking him and his friend to be quiet. i still dont get how people/teenagers do something 'wrong' then act like the person pointing that out is in the wrong. fwiw they did stop talking.

It's the only form of rhetoric a lot of simple people/teenagers know.

what cinemas have galleries?
The Odeon in Manchester (UK) is the only one i know of.
Which is quite handy as that's where i live :)

I quite dig the gallery at M/cr Odeon, my only reservation is that it's a little bit further away from the screen than my "sweet spot" (about halfway back, middle of the aisle). The whole bar/snacks/big seats/hushed appreciation thing is excellent though. I do feel a bit guilty going there, given that we have the (arthouse and world cinema specialist) Cornerhouse too and I ought to patronise that, but the dreadful screens and seats in there make me rue every visit.

I've seen some great films at the Cornerhouse, i really should start going again.

what do you want when you sit in your seat?

I wanna have some fun!

Best Cinema? The Tyneside in Newcastle.

I've seen some great films at the Cornerhouse, i really should start going again.

You'll regret it! I love everything about the place except for one essential thing: its screens are crap. Case in point, went to see The Thing for a late night Halloween showing last year, we settled down for a great time and then someone sat in front of me = a good 1/8 of the screen blocked by their head. I squirmed to the left and right, sat up, leaned over, all no good.

Mind you, imo cinema etiquette really dictates that if you have a great swollen heed you should stay at home and think baout things instead.

I've seen such snobs scold other viewers for eating candy with wrappers

Take the fucking wrapper off before the film starts. Thank you.

I usu sit near some old lady who's rattling plastic bags throughout

what i also hate is when cinemas have lights on. there should not be dim lights interfering with the picture. its meant to be DARK.

Went to a preview screening of The Assassination of Jesse James and about five minutes before the end, in the middle of a pretty emotional scene iirc, the elderly critic sitting next to me got up and left, spending about two minutes rustling his possessions into loud plastic bags in the process.

Take the fucking wrapper off before the film starts. Thank you.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, June 11, 2010 7:40 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Please tell me you are not serious!

Rustle Crow.

what i also hate is when cinemas have lights on. there should not be dim lights interfering with the picture. its meant to be DARK.

― truffle-flavoured french fry (titchyschneiderMk2), Friday, June 11, 2010 7:52 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark

I always get really paranoid when cinemas leave the lights on during the trailers, like they're going to forget to turn them off for the movie. don't think this has ever happened ime iirc

While i was watching Master & Commander, a woman answered her phone and started talking.
Went something like this...

woman "hello, oh hiya, just watching that Russell Crowe boat film"
man near her "excuse me"
woman "do you mind i'm on the phone"
man "errr"
woman, "sorry, just some weird guy. yeah it's pretty good"
many people "shhh, shut up, jesus christ, do you mind"
woman "huff, i better go, people are saying stuff"

xp: That has totally happened to me.

Huge gulf between 1 and 2 here. Don't mind eating, but talking or murmuring pisses me off.

When I saw Iron Man 2 there was a bunch of folks over to the right of me somewhere who seemed to constantly kind of bellowing and yelping, and I was getting more and more angry over the first half hour or so, until one of them shouted "HE'S IRON MAN!" during what was actually a quiet dialogue moment and I suddenly realised they were all, er, developmentally delayed adults out on a field trip from whatever institution they all lived in.

^ kinda have this dilemma going on with my new neighbours

ive had this rule since i was a kid that noone could eat until the movie started so everyone would sit there with melting ice cream and cold popcorn through the ads and previews so i wouldnt have a hissyfit

x-post to asshole moves you pulled as a kid thread

the general quietness and formality of the nft (call it by its name!) seems to encourage people to be dicks about policing others' noise - i'd much rather have a bit of general murmuring and eating than savage busybodies snapping at people for coughing/drinking water/chewing gum.

>developmentally delayed adults

Wish you'd stood up to remonstrate with them and had a moment of realisation mid rant, would be like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm practically writing itself.

<3

no clapping or crying either

If the film is shite, comments from the audience can be a welcome distraction

Laughing at inappropriate times is the worst. One of the worst university classes I've had was largely because it was a film class full of idiots that would laugh at the most puzzling things (I had no idea Rashomon was so funny?*)

That and applauding things that happen in the movie. (Applause at a movie is in itself pointless unless the filmmaker is present).

* And yes, people did laugh through the entire thing.

Isn't the purpose of the movie theatre ambiance, anyways, to disavow that there are other people in the theatre/that you're in the real world?

I have a friend who knits through movies. I get kind of vicariously bothered that she misses so many scenes due to looking at/fixing her knitting.

"Laughing at inappropriate times is the worst. One of the worst university classes I've had was largely because it was a film class full of idiots that would laugh at the most puzzling things (I had no idea Rashomon was so funny?*)"

i used to have a friend that did this. though im convinced it was to either show he was such a buff that he caught all the (arguable) in jokes. or to show he wasnt scared during scary bits. or maybe he did just find it that funny. he did use the word hilarious more than most people.

I think I'm that person, sorry guys.

I am often the only person laughing at subtle jokes in movies. It's a pretty lonesome place to be. Tonight we're going to see Karate Kid. I hope it'll give me something to laugh at. I've seen some recent Jackie Chan flicks and like fuuuuuuuuuck they aren't funny. : (

I like it when people yell out funny things in movies and then everyone in the theater also laughs. I like a sense of camaraderie at the theater. The more intense the movie the more clever the yelling has to be.

I like it when people yell out funny things in movies and then everyone in the theater also laughs. I like a sense of camaraderie at the theater. The more intense the movie the more clever the yelling has to be.

This is my idea of the worst movie watching experience in the world. Nobody's as funny or clever as they think they are.

some kid shouted out "fuck her dude!!" at one point when i saw american pie. that was pretty funny.

my favourite lone laugher has to be the guy laughing really loudly while watching the original of funny games.

I like it when people yell out funny things in movies and then everyone in the theater also laughs. I like a sense of camaraderie at the theater. The more intense the movie the more clever the yelling has to be.

This is my idea of the worst movie watching experience in the world. Nobody's as funny or clever as they think they are.

^^^^^ You want a "sense of camaraderie" go to a fuckin' Boy Scout Jamboree. I'm not paying $12 to hear some jerkass and his sense of unearned privilege ruin a movie for me.

gawd you guys are really serious about watching movies in a room full of strangers who you can have no control over. I usually only go to dollar movies anyway.

Well, sometimes you need to go to the cinema where people yell at the horror movie. It's fun.

gawd you guys are really serious about watching movies in a room full of strangers who you can have no control over.

I don't have control over strangers in any situation, but for some crazy reason I'm still willing to get behind the wheel of a car. Things like politeness and social conventions sort of built up over the millenia for a reason. How old are you, if you don't mind my asking?

hey, noisy eaters and murmurers: stay home

my favourite lone laugher has to be the guy laughing really loudly while watching the original of funny games.

I think this was me during most of Citizen Ruth.

also, everything that's good about Funny Games is funny!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm81LSKJC2k

What movie is he watching? I caught "I quit as your son" at the end.

hahaha, sorry these subs are in english (not german as posted upthread):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6E7CKEM1ys

one of the great unsung directors.

I went to see Sirk's All That Heaven Allows and people were laughing at some of the dialog. A woman shouted, "This is not a comedy! Why don't you all go home and watch television?!" which shut mostly everyone up. Later in the movie there's a shocking scene after which the same woman shouted, "HAHAHA Not so funny now is it?!"

haha awes

Well, sometimes you need to go to the cinema where people yell at the horror movie. It's fun.

's all I'm sayin'

I believe the movie de Niro is watching is Problem Child

also the behavior you guys are condoning is now spreading to stage theaters. More devolution.

Oh my fucking god, I saw a live production of Glengarry Glenross last year, the theatre was half full of some serious cognitive-cases that laughed every single time there a swear word was uttered, which was like every 20 seconds. It was disgusting.

Stage theaters are totally different! Gotta respect the actors and at least in the plays I've seen there haven't been a lot of loud explosions or swelling music or lol inducing scenes with wolverines standing in front of a big american flag.

I do admit that I am a general entertainment communicator. I try not to talk at all at plays but I usually talk to the tv if something intense is happening. A lot of you would probably hate me irl.

hey, noisy eaters and murmurers: stay home

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, June 11, 2010 12:44 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

kinda feel like it's the people who can't stand the mild noises of other people who should "stay home" (where there are presumably no other people)

like yeah talking on cell phones or having full-volume conversations is obviously no good but popcorn munching and "murmuring" (aka trying to communicate with someone else at a polite volume that won't bother other viewers) is de rigeur for movie theaters

did I use "de rigeur" correctly? I don't think I've ever typed or said that before

n/a otm

how y'all feel about the relatively silent trend of texting during the movie?

like instead of people laughing inappropriately, they just typed it.

seeing a flash of lit up screen is worse than hearing you laugh

i've seen anti-text warnings on movies now, for that reason

do any phones have a backlight-blind texting option?

communicate w/ your seatmate after the fucking movie. I'm bothered by your whispers if you're in the next seat or right behind me.

Stage theaters are totally different! Gotta respect the actors

RESPECT YOUR FELLOW AUDIENCE MEMBERS

"I had no idea Rashomon was so funny?"
It is pretty funny! I feel like it's funnier than Meet the Parents, anyway.

I'm just the worst when it comes to people making noise. I even get preemptively panicky--I remember one time where I switched seats three times before the film started. ("These two are bad news...") I wish I owned my own theatre, so before the film I could dispense with all those wishy-washy "Please be considerate and turn your cell phone off" warnings. Mine would be more along the lines of, "It's real simple: Shut the Fuck Up for the duration of the film. Got it?"

feels so funky to agree completely w/Morbs on an issue

i think it depends on the context - the theater, the movie, the time of day - when you go to a midnight movie, do you expect the reverential silence as at a museum or university film screening?

why not equip each seat with a soundproof cubical that changes color according to the kind of sound produced?
like laughter = blue, yelling/screaming = red, crying = green -- so you can still get a communal sense of reaction.

or maybe just audio jacks in the seats.

i lost my temper last month at some teenagers who were talking very loudly during the movie.

i told them to shut the hell up and they did.

there were some college kids - kinda jock-like - with dates that i think they wanted to impress - at the screening of Von Trier's "Anti-Christ" i went to - pretty sure they were at "the wrong" movie for that.

next they shd take their dates to The Killer Inside Me

texting is horrible, fuckin' screens lighting up, little clicking sounds...turn your phone completely fucking off.

Seeing Splice was a nightmare for this stuff - people next to me came in 10-15 minutes after the movie started (and AFTER 15 minutes of commercials/trailers), came in loudly opening bagfuls of crap, talked to each other trying to figure out what had happened so far, answered their phone..argh!

POST IN CHARACTER:

IN JAPAN:::: they block all wireless communication in theaters for phones or like devices. Not sure the tech on this, but even before the movie starts you can't get a signal.

I wonder if the guys who make camcorder bootlegs have the same peeves but purely on a professional level. Like maybe sitting next to one is your best bet, because they would have scoped out the best spot for distraction-free viewing.

some camcorder bootleggers are more "professional" than others ... i think their primary considerations are:

not getting caught
getting as much of the screen in the frame as possible
getting a straight shot
not getting other audience members' heads in the shot

Last time I went to the cinema we were assigned the seats right in front of the only two other people there. (OK, we pre-booked and we saw them buy tickets, so the other way round.)

When it became clear that nobody else was turning up I kept hissing to the bf that we should probably move but he's all "ehh, they can move if it bugs them" and meanwhile the woman behind me is giving me evil looks as she contorts herself to put her feet on the seat next to me and I'm cricking my neck trying to slump down as far as possible and not make even the slightest noise.

Thanking you, Odeon booking system.

(Normally I don't like people putting their feet on the seats in public places but that cinema is v short on legroom so it seemed quite an attractive idea)

i dig what ppl say abt reacting to horror & comedy being cool, even something kind of in-between like goodfellas, also midnight movies. do not mind reasonably quiet eating or the occasional whispered comment and response, but not whole conversations ffs. also hate when ppl continue to talk during the very start of the movie, you had all day to talk, you can't stfu for the opening scene?

have a film buddy who sometimes checks the time using her phone while sitting beside me, the fishing for the phone plus the light is super irritating plus knowing she's wondering abt the time totally snaps me out of the movie, good job u disgusting savage.

I support feet on seats if they aren't in anyone's personal space and don't obstruct anyone's view

POST IN CHARACTER:

IN JAPAN:::: they block all wireless communication in theaters for phones or like devices. Not sure the tech on this, but even before the movie starts you can't get a signal.

― _▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Friday, June 11, 2010 7:58 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

in scotland too iirc; lol usa are savages

people would have nervous breakdowns if that happened in america. if you can't use your phone, there's no reason to go on living.

yeah I would love to have that here

don't folks on-call in emergency services go to movies in scotland or japan?

really hate people in theaters using their cell phones but I'm not sure I'd be for that. I dunno, it's sorta...patronizing?

schools, otoh....

not in enough numbers to make them worth considering in this situ xp

every US cinema I've been in has had audiences way worse behaved than Euro ones.

when talkies came in vachel lindsay advocated that we talk back to them iirc

in scotland too iirc; lol usa are savages

Ha, here in England the aforementioned cinema is like the only place in town where I actually get any damn reception (still turn it off, even though I always have it on silent anyway)

I thought phone blockers were illegal in the UK? There was a rumour at uni that they'd fitted one in the lecture room but been dissuaded from using it.

you had all day to talk

this is it really. i just wanna say to these people "can you not just shut up for two goddamn hours?"

also, ppl who eat the equiv of 1-1/2 meals during a 90-minute film

had a really horrible experience, basically threatening a middle-age man with violence because he and his wife wouldn't stop having conversation at full volume during a film.

"IN JAPAN:::: they block all wireless communication in theaters for phones or like devices. Not sure the tech on this, but even before the movie starts you can't get a signal."

this should be the norm here too. i dont think i even see warnings about being quiet/switching phones off anymore.

i just wanna say to these people "can you not just shut up for two goddamn hours?"

this. (coke, helluva drug.)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

What really annoys me is when people think it's okay to talk just because nobody on screen is talking. I noticed recently that this has spread to gigs as well. When the singer is not actually singing and it's "just" musicians playing, a big chat starts up. This is not okay.

my girlfriend sometimes does that (though not at the cinema, just when were watching something at home) and it's incredibly annoying, as if it's only important to pay attention when there's dialog.

i do this at home too, tbh. Not going to sit silent just because TV is on, and silent bits better for talking than dialogy bits.

well, it's obviously different if you're just watching some random thing on tv and when you're watching a movie you really want to see.

enforced silence throughout non-dialogue parts of movies is a little on the stringent side imo

I want people to laugh at the funny bits, and maybe gasp and the scary/shocking bits. Other than that, silence, so I guess I'll click the middle one.

I have a friend that loves to see scary movies and cannot help shouting FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK at all of the jump-out-of-your-seat moments. It's funny to watch if you're prepared for it.

well, I haven't actually managed to enforce it very well, and random comments about what we're watching don't really bother me too much, it's when she'll say something like "oh yeah, I just remembered, we're out of milk, you need to get some on your way home from work tomorrow" which takes me right out of the movie that it's annoying

xp

sure, i can see that

I have a friend that loves to see scary movies and cannot help shouting FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK at all of the jump-out-of-your-seat moments. It's funny to watch if you're prepared for it.

would see movie with this person and be their friend.

Understandable visceral reactions to what's on screen is fair game, I think. The most recent one of this I can remember is seeing A Prophet and everyone going Oooooh at the throat-slitting scene - surely there's nothing wrong with that sort of reaction? Texting your mate about it is maybe a little off the mark.

http://variety.com/2013/film/news/movie-blogger-calls-911-over-cell-phone-use-at-toronto-film-festival-1200606539/

i broadly sympathize, but dude is lucky he isn't fined for wasting 911 time

once in college, a screening for a class was a silent film and at some point two girls next to me (the class only had 15 students) just started talking, in full voice. i asked them to be quiet, and one of them glared at me and said, "um, it's a silent film." i could see where this was going (their continued obnoxiousness; my getting kicked out of school for attempting to strangle them) so I just left.

there wasn't any music or anything?

there was music, but apparently no dialogue and sound effects = coffee klatch

Wish I had gotten in, to kick this relic up the ass.

"Eventually, a woman next to me tapped her on the shoulder and told her to put her phone away, and the blonde hissed back, 'It's for business... ENSLAVER!' I turned to the shoulder tapper and loudly said, 'THANKS!' and gave her a thumbs up. The rest of the movie, I kept thinking about how I wanted to tell the blonde what a disgrace she was..."

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-madonna-texting-movie-theater-12-years-a-slave-20131014,0,2622609.story

ENSLAVER!

"her lack of theater etiquette is alarming since she's a filmmaker too"

2 Years a Filmmaker.

This applies to public and home viewing:

"If you're not giving yourself to a movie with everything you have; if you reach for the pause button every time you see something that might scare or upset you; if you advertise your purported superiority to a film from another culture or a different era by loudly snickering every time it does something heightened or unfamiliar; if you stop Schindler's List for a fucking taco break, you are, in fact Watching It Wrong. If you can't submit to a movie about the 400-year institution of slavery because you're worried it might be too upsetting, not only are you watching it wrong, but you should be hit with something large and heavy."

http://blogs.indiewire.com/criticwire/fear-of-movies-on-demand

I mop the floor while watching three-hour movies at home.

worse than note-taking, you goddamn heretic

that highlighted bit is v much OTM, now let the brickbats commence

I have never seen a movie that was worth my full attention

Lolbollocks to that tbh

When I went to see Captain America 2 on Friday, the guy sitting in front of us pulled out his phone and recorded the portion of the movie his significant other missed while she went out to use the bathroom. It was all I could do not to kick him in the head.

anyone who tries to tell me when I can and when I can't eat tacos can eat a flying dick.

It is not possible to get through a Rivette or Tarr film without a taco top-off.

you shd probly read the linked story abt some Slate writer's Schindler viewing party, hl.

This hipster-ish dad and his young son (around eight or nine I would say) seem to be following around of late. First it was at Grave of the Fireflies where the kid kept up a constant stream of questions throughout and I eventually had to tell them to shut up but the film was already pretty much ruined. Then at a screening of La Belle et la Bête a few months later the same pair were sitting behind me and once again carried on a full-on conversation throughout the entire movie. I left them to it this time and just quietly seethed. I get that you're trying to introduce your son to some cool flicks but if he's too young to take to the cinema without having every nuance explained to him then maybe you should just rent it.

I'm becoming increasingly intolerant of this kind of thing but I always get massive anxiety trying to work up the courage to tell people to be quiet and then I feel even worse after so I'm not even sure why I do it.

i go to see my kids' shows where everybody in the audience is presumably there to watch their own offspring and some cunts are still incapable of keeping their fucking mouths shut for 20 minutes at a go

I saw The Wizard of Oz in the theater last year and the woman behind me RECITED THE DIALOGUE FOR THE ENTIRE FILM. I did the quiet seething thing, too, but it was seriously difficult not to say anything.

xps: it sounds like it worked out ok.

i try not to chuckle like that but sometimes it's really hard because i am a horrible person

I saw The Wizard of Oz in the theater last year and the woman behind me PLAYED DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ON AN ENORMOUS BOOMBOX. I did the quiet seething thing a while, then I shot her, but I live in Florida so it's all good.

This is why I love the Alamo Drafthouse rules: no late walk-ins, no talking, no phones, no goddamned children.

but they BRING FOOD TO YOU, which is as distracting as any of it!

I don't mind their silent speed skating between the aisles honestly, it's worth it for the rest of the goodness. Besides, nobody's forcing you to order the food and drink - I think I only do that maybe half the times I've been there

i do not wanna see waitstaff walking by 10 mins into the flick, thx

hey what's the tipping sitch with the alamo waitstaff

You pay at the end of the movie when the lights come on, so you can tip then. Alternatively if you bought drinks at the bar you can tip the staff there

if you advertise your purported superiority to a film from another culture or a different era by loudly snickering every time it does something heightened or unfamiliar

I think i've told this before here: Something like ten years ago I went to see All That Heaven Allows at the Paramount in Austin. As the movie played people were laughing at the sometimes dated dialog. After some time of this going on a woman in the middle of the theater shouted out, "THIS IS NOT A COMEDY! WHY DON"T YOU ALL GO HOME AND WATCH TELEVISION!" Which silenced everyone for the rest of the movie. Later in the story when there's an unexpected tragic shock she followed up with "HA HA HA! NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT!"

Sounds like a real asshole tbh

hey, it's you! xp

Saw Shanghai Express at BAM Friday, and the titters over the Marlene-Clive Whatshisname scenes would. not. stop. (mostly young women, speaking of titters OHHHHHHHHHHH)

my kind of asshole, dmac, one who doesn't waste other ppl's time

xp that woman sounds incredibly obnoxious
plus, honestly, it's difficult NOT to laugh at some bits of All That Heaven Allows

Right. Sirk movies have all the emotions in abundance.

it's true!

it's the kind of laughter, unmistakably "omg so much stupider than George Clooney"

Dunno where one draws the line on what others should take from a movie

consider it akin to blowing raspberries at the opera

policing other people's spontaneous reactions to art obv nagl in principle but morbs is still talking about a 100% real thing amongst our disaffected youth, partic at horror movies or movies made before 1990. saw let the right one in with an audience that loled exactly as much as the one i saw night of the creeps with. idk, whatever.

I'd rather expend energy to judge the movie, not the tone and timbre of the laughs.

these ppl ARE INTERFERING with that.

It's not just youth -- a guy I know overheard someone likely in their 30s spit "let's go see SOME CHEESY OLD MOVIE." (probably Andrei Rublev)

there's a lot of questions around "spontaneous" reactions to art i think but maybe cinemas shd just have showings for people who wanna hoot and people who want reverential quiet. also those of you with access to actual cinemas regularly showing films from different eras or cultures shd be pretty grateful

Let's go eat SOME CHEESY OLD BURGER!

NV, it's getting to the point where I'd rather stay the fuck home if it's anything 30+ years old, let alone silents.

(bcz of the assholes)

At least with silents, you have the option to pack ear buds and, as I have in the past, blast an impromptu private house music soundtrack.

i mean i don't want to see let the right one in in reverential silence. just want everyone to be more like me is all.

yeah you'd get tossed from the Alamorbs Funhaus for that too

xp

it's getting to the point where I'd rather stay the fuck home

nah i get that. it is weird that some places seem to have an unspoken assumption that you've got no right to expect to enjoy your expensive ticket in peace and quiet and the ability to watch the movie you've just paid for. maybe if more cinemas were explicit about the standards they enforced we could make a reasoned choice

There are certain films that I think can only benefit from a rowdy audience.

yeah i hate those

Alamorbs Funhaus

I couldn't think up a better name for a torture chamber if I tried.

Also, not letting people listen to music on earbuds that will bother exactly zero other people in the audience during silent movies (which 99 out of 100 times feature canned music that's worse than silence) isn't policing. It's police state.

I have no problem with wisecracking etc at the movies but going to see "some cheesy old movie" for the lols is the worst (and utterly bemusing to me).

NV: I'm definitely on that side (hence my raving about the Alamo and its draconian house rules) but at the same time, everyone else paid for a ticket as well; to an extent, part of the experience of going to the theater is to share the emotions and reactions of the crowd, whether or not you agree with them if a film makes you laugh, cry, whatever. The most powerful moments in the cinema are generally when everyone's in agreement, but that's never a guarantee. And I like seeing movies at home, alone, in the dark too!

lol Eric H.

IDK I find there to be an equally annoying corollary of allowing the passage of time to add degrees of reverence with which a movie should be treated.

I saw The Wizard of Oz in the theater last year and the woman behind me PLAYED DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ON AN ENORMOUS BOOMBOX.

Oh my god, what a hero. Sinning against etiquette is okay if you do it big enough.

part of the experience of going to the theater is to share the emotions and reactions of the crowd

yeah like i say, i think what you really want is the cinema to explicitly state what kinds of behaviour are okay, and then to police it if dorks step over that

agreed. Most places just don't care

there's something also to be said for shared communal silence, of concentrating together in the dark - watching that four plus hour Lav Diaz film recently was amazing, a cloud of hush descended on us and we were all transfixed for the duration - the slow atmosphere of what we were watching leaked out from the screen, and held us.

I couldn't think up a better name for a torture chamber if I tried.

I can: The Boiler Room

I favor free matinee admission to art house theaters. Homeless schizophrenics would scare off the annoying chatterers. Talking would still be a problem, granted, but it would be a different, more interesting kind of talking.

that is basically the Museum of Modern Art (w/ membership)

I don't know what cinemas you all go to but a lot of the behaviour on this thread would be tolerated for oh about 30 secs at the BFI. If someone isn't telling you to switch off the phone/shut the fuck up/ then that's not a proper arthouse cinema in my books.

The BFI (or ICA) better screen that Lav Diaz film, otherwise they will hear from me.

It's all about entering into the spirit of the work and its contemporary aesthetic.

(eg no sonic sewage for the silents, Mother Knuckles)

In that case, I'll treat every silent film as a disposable novelty, as more or less everyone who watched them contemporaneously did.

I'm on Morbs' side here, but more politely.

oh, everything's a disposable novelty

(including life)

ur a disposeable novelty

The best experience I've ever had at a theater was during Orphan (shitty thriller from a few years ago) where, at the big reveal a teenage girl stood up halfway down my row and yelled ESTHER GOT TITTIES!

Yuppies at art-house theaters seem much worse behaved overall - at least obnoxious teenagers seem to get the hint from everyone around them; the over-privileged don't give a fuck about anyone around them.

They are made to give a damn at the BFI. The over-priviledged know how to speak to each other.

Yelling "ESTHER GOT TITTIES!" is the definition of knowing how to speak to each other.